Rules and other things updated over time slight spoilers possible
http://pastebin.com/4XbDCdc4

Write-ins will always be welcome, outside of the box thinking will be very useful in the future.

>>41624000
>>[] Private runway

>>41624000
>Local zoo
G

>Local zoo
>Implying you escape your death

You stop and think for a minute, why not just the local zoo up they have a few lions, cage matches are fun after all. Nah you shake it off and set off towards a private runway.


You have a contact with the local underworld bosses shouldn’t be too much trouble to charter a private jet from one of them, they all owe you favors anyways.


Several hours later you arrive in Africa and you have a few options on how to find yourself the biggest lion you can.

>[] Hunting tour
>[] Buy a car
>[] On foot

>>41624442
Buy a dirtbike

>>41624856
>dirtbike

The great plains of Africa are filled with massive beasts of all kinds, perfect to hunt down and tear apart with you own two hands. You see a couple of kids sorting scrap parts, the couple older ones are cobbling together working motors to sell to the local warlords, with a flash of American dollars you manage to acquire a working dirt bike. It’ll be a bitch to keep it in working condition for long in this dust and heat, but you don’t need it for long.

You come upon a small deserted village with its mud huts surrounded with the skulls of animals, the scent of smoke wafts through the air and a large wooden lion’s head is set in the middle of a bonfire yet doesn’t burn.

You can hear voices chanting from further in the village, the source obscured by a crudely assembled wall of wood and bone. Creeping closer you find your prize the biggest alpha male lion you’ve ever seen, it is easily twice the size of a normal lion and its coat is pure white.

The lion is surrounded by the villagers, a lone girl is giving butchered animals to the lion as offerings. This great lion must be revered as some kind of totem animal meaning the wall is to keep rival tribes out, not the lion in.

Suddenly there is a crash as the far end of the lion’s enclosure is destroyed by seemingly nothing, now is your chance the villagers are distracted.

>[] Charge the lion
>[] Grab a spear
>[] Take the girl hostage

>>41624925
>[] Grab a spear
While on the motorbike.
Joust the fucking lion!
It's going to be a tale for the ages.

>>41624000
This is stupid.
You're stupid.

>>41624964
Seconding this.

>>41624964
>>41625045
Calling it for dirtbike jousting

give me a 1d10+4 DC 7 to mess this lion up

Rolled 10 + 4 (1d10 + 4)

>>41625196

Rolled 6 + 4 (1d10 + 4)

>>41625196
Slay the white landwhale!

>>41625196
Onward to glory!

Rolled 2 + 4 (1d10 + 4)

>>41625196

>>41625227
well shit rip lion, writing

>14 rip lion

You can feel the cold blue eyes of the lion upon you as you rev the dirtbike’s engine, it is as though the beast can see into your soul. The once panicked villagers turn to face you, shouting in some African language you can’t understand.

There is a flash of light and shards of bone fly everywhere as a flaming crater replaces yet another section of the wall. That is the distraction you needed, you race forward into the villagers ranks and rip a spear from the grasp of one of them.

The lion rears back unto his hind legs and looses a roar, its massive paw coming crashing to the ground to intercept you. Yet it is too slow, bracing the spear against dirtbike you slam into the lion, the force of the blow sends you tumbling end over end. With a sickening crunch you land on top of the lion, your spear driven clean through its body, a fountain of blood sprays from its wound drenching you.

The villagers are going berserk with rage, you find yourself surround by 18 angry men with spears. You need a way out but how? As you contemplate your escape, there is another flash of light and an explosion rocks the enclosure. Damn tribe must have built their village on a mine field, wait is that fire blue?

> [] Get to the dirtbike
> [] Cut your way out
> [] Hostage

Also what caused the wall to explode roll 1d10+3 to see if you can spot it

File: Lion.jpg (75 KB, 468x601)

75 KB JPG

>>41625385
fucking captcha ate my image

Rolled 3 + 3 (1d10 + 3)

>>41625385
> [] Get to the dirtbike

Rolled 9 + 3 (1d10 + 3)

>>41625385
>> [X] Hostage

>>41625385
> [] Get to the dirtbike
Stab people in the legs on your way there, it either hurts them or they block instead of trying to hit you

Rolled 10 + 3 (1d10 + 3)

>>41625385

>>41625482
RIP in pieces, secret explosions.

>>41625482
Nice I guess you see what it is

Writing for escape

>>41625600
In before we start botching all the really important rolls later.

File: ShadowWolfThing.jpg (59 KB, 1024x780)

59 KB JPG

You see a flickering shadow roughly the shape of a man leap over the villagers towards the newest smoking crater, from the middle of the crater sits a wolf or something, fucking hell it just hurts your head to try and look at it.

>Perception increased by 3
Also forgot to give you an increase from killing the lion by jousting
>Strength and Dexterity increased by 2

Seems like the smaller shadow guy is trying to fight off the bigger thing.

Not your problem though, you pull the spear from the lions corpse and stab at the closest villagers as you back up to the dirtbike. The two bravest villagers who flanked you are now also the deadest, you grab the bike when suddenly you hear a whistling noise - sounds like a lot of spears being thrown.

1d10+4 to try not to die, lower DC 10 upper DC 13

Rolled 9 + 4 (1d10 + 4)

>>41625721
REV UP THOSE FRYERS

Rolled 5 + 4 (1d10 + 4)

>>41625721

Rolled 1 + 4 (1d10 + 4)

>>41625721

>>41625743
Welp

>>41625743
>>41625747
>>41625776
A shame you didn't roll all ones
Looks like you make it out alive writing

>>41625869
At upper tier nonetheless!

>14 nice

The feeling of sudden death, not a feeling you like but one you have felt before. You dive to the side to avoid the spears. Screams of pain can be heard through the air all around you and that is when you look up and see that it was not spears but spines, spines that just cut through the remaining villagers like butter. Fucking hell two of them hit your dirtbike you wont be using it any time soon, but it could have easily been you instead.

The villagers are no longer in any condition to pursue you though the few that lived are quickly bleeding out. You chance a look over despite the headache it gives you and see that shadow man is between you and the shadow beast. Looks like he will be covering your escape so you –

> [] Finish the tribe off can’t take the chance
> [] Escape from this nonsense
> [] You just jousted a lion to death, how hard can a shadow monster be

give me a 1d10+4 if you decide to stick around

Rolled 11 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>41625983
>[X] You just jousted a lion to death, how hard can a shadow monster be.
Throw a spear at its face!

Rolled 7 + 4 (1d10 + 4)

>>41625983
>> [] Escape from this nonsense

Fucking tribals, burning hallucinogens.

Assholes. Time to gtfo.

Rolling anyway because I bet other anons chose to stick around

Rolled 1 + 4 (1d10 + 4)

>>41626000
Stupid mistype.

Rolled 4 + 4 (1d10 + 4)

>>41625983
> [] Escape from this nonsense
Our jousting bike broke, there's no way we could win without something to ride on!

>>41626008
But we're supposed to die anon, that's the whole point. If we win this roll as well, it'll be utterly ridiculous.

>>41626051
I just want his death to be super anti-climactic, like he chokes on a burger at the airport, gets up to try and force it out, slips on his soda that he knocked down, falls throat first onto a stroller when a mother walks by and spits up a ton of food and some blood onto a child as his throat is crushed.

Some final destination shit.

>>41626051
Don't worry shadow man is a jobber, I'm sure he'll fail his side of things and leave you wide open for death flags.

>>41626092
I actually didn't think about that one. That'd be hilarious! Rolling to see if he dies chocking on a burger or something and failing!

>>41626117
You down the burger in one massive bite, not even chewing!
Strength and constitution go up by one!

Rolled 3 + 4 (1d10 + 4)

>>41625983
C. Let's fucking fight shadows

>tfw the guy who wanted to leave has the best roll for combat.

Rolled 2 (1d2)

tied so

1 discretion is the better part of valor
2 stand and fight

writing either way

Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>41626331
Rolling that we don't fully die, but are taken to the world of the dead anyway.

We will still get a few of the perks of the living in the land of the dead

>>41626426
>tfw a living body cannot exceed human limits

>tfw your idea is shit

>tfw YYH is shit

>>41626331
>>41626008
>>41626017
>>41626039

>11

Fucking tribals, burning hallucinogens, you’ll catch AIDS or something at this rate too.

> shadow man rolls 4 and 8
> shadow beast rolls 19

You look over to the fighting shadows and – fucking hell its like someone just stabbed you in the head with an ice pick. Shadow guy just stands there doing nothing and the big one clobbers him. Then it leap/floats or however giant shadow things move right at you. You think you can see the glimmering of a bloody claw, but you head hurts to damn much and the pain is making your eyes all fuzzy.

> [] Attack with a spear (1d10+5)
> [] Try to block (1d10+4)
> [] Dodge (1d10+4)
> [] Counter (1d10+5)
> [] Fuck this escape (1d10+4)

Rolled 3 + 5 (1d10 + 5)

>>41626487
> [] Counter (1d10+5)

Rolled 6 + 5 (1d10 + 5)

>>41626487
>> [] Counter (1d10+5)

WE AIN'T NO BITCH!

Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>41626440
But we not living, just mostly dead. We would be like Danny Phantom

File: 8365774.jpg (31 KB, 600x312)

31 KB JPG

>>41626531
No.

Rolled 5 + 5 (1d10 + 5)

>>41626487
Counter

>>41626531
Danny Phantom went through a SCIENTIFIC gate to the afterlife with no safety gear.

We're getting killed by a shadow beast. Large distinction.

>>41626440

I didn't give you guys much info about the MC yet so I can tweak his stats from the choices made, but he is already past human limits in a few things. Not that it will help much in this fight.

Rolled 8 + 5 (1d10 + 5)

>>41626550
Ok
>>41626487
Counter

Rolled 3 + 5 (1d10 + 5)

>>41626487
>[X] Counter

File: latest.png (229 KB, 381x565)

229 KB PNG

>>41626566
Should have went for cheetahs in S. America.

>>41626667
>not Jaguars

>the true kings of the jungle

You disgust me.

>>41626708
>not hunting crocodiles, a creature thats intelligent but only uses said intelligence to murder things better
Seriously, there's cases of them staking out humans to learn their habits and picking them off when most vulnerable.

>>41626513
>>41626522
>>41626553
>>41626581
>>41626650
Looks like we are going for a counter with 11
Writing

>>41626747
>Not hunting the most dangerous game.
If it's worthy of a crocodile hunting it, it's certainly worthy of us hunting it.

>>41626767
>not hunting the most lethal animal on the planet
The mighty hippo is the true best game

>DC was 15 failure

You could take this thing if it didn’t hurt so much to look at, but fuck it you run in its general direction and pull a knife out of your boot. Right as you feel the pain of massive jagged claws tear open your back you stab right into the amorphous blob of shadow right where its face should be.

The beast recoils in pain sending you tumbling away.

> Your hp 1/2
> Shadow beast hp ???/???
> Shadow man hp 1/5

Fucking hell that must have nicked your spine because it hurts like a bitch to stand back up, at least you didn’t break any limbs. Looks like the little shadow guy is wobbling his way back up as well. And the beast – damn - still hurts to look at, still looks like a blob of nothingness.

All you know is you are hurt bad, so how are you going to get out of this one

> [] Rush in and kill it (1d10+5)
> [] Keep your distance with a spear (1d10+5)
> [] Use shadow guy as bait (1d10+4)
> [] Fuck this escape (1d10+4)

Just for my own amusement, from the almost no hints given I’ll give a bonus to exp if anyone guesses what either the guy or monster is.

Rolled 7 + 5 (1d10 + 5)

>>41626846
>> [] Rush in and kill it (1d10+5)

Rolled 5 + 5 (1d10 + 5)

>>41626846
LOCKED AND LOADED

Rolled 8 + 5 (1d10 + 5)

>>41626846
>[X] Keep your distance with a spear

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>41626794
>not hunting diseases, which account for the most death caused by any source
Wretched newborn.

>>41626846
> [] Use shadow guy as bait (1d10+4)
To flank it! Yell out that if we focus efforts we can land a decisive blow.

>>41626846
> [] Keep your distance with a spear (1d10+5)
I'm gonna guess they're spirits. One is a wrangler from the afterlife, and the other is an escaped mass of energy.

Rolled 6 + 5 (1d10 + 5)

>>41626846
Rush in and kill it
>>41626877
Bro, I'm a doctor. I do hunt diseases

>>41626846
We beat a lion but we can't take this pussy? A motherfucking king of the jungle is stronger than any mythical firy bullshit, this should be no problem.
>keep distance with spear

Rolled 10 + 5 (1d10 + 5)

>>41626846
Well the shadow best is the bitch lion that in the news

And we will kill it again!

Rolled 3 + 5 (1d10 + 5)

>>41626919

>>41626910
>sir, it looks like you have Ebola.
>Now where did I put my rifle.
>NURSE! I'm gonna need my shrink ray again!

>>41626942
Oh hi crit. How's you sex life?

>>41626950
Man don't joke, Ebola is a hard hunt. You got to track that fucker in the blood swamp

>>41626863
>>41626873
>>41626875

Looks like staying away takes it with a 13

writing

>>41627054
Hold on this>>41626942 got a crit

>>41627080
Best of three and no crits

Rolled 2 + 5 (1d10 + 5)

>>41627091
K

>Shadow guy rolls a 9
>Beast rolls a 9

Looks like that shadow guy is just standing there doing nothing again, when suddenly there is that blue flash of light again. The beast seems to have mostly avoided the explosion this time though. Its only when it leaps back and then flattens down against the ground do you realize you made a mistake.

> 13 vs DC ???


Damn it the beast is too far away from you to stab with the spear now, and you won’t be fast enough to close the distance.

The beast’s wispy tail suddenly whips forward and you hear that whistling sound again, images of death and giant spines fill your mind, its incoming again so you

> [] Dodge (1d10+4)
> [] Throw your spear at it (1d10+4)
> [] Find cover (1d10+4)

Rolled 9 + 4 (1d10 + 4)

>>41627179
> [] Dodge (1d10+4)

Rolled 8 + 4 (1d10 + 4)

>>41627179
> [] Throw your spear at it (1d10+4)

Rolled 2 + 4 (1d10 + 4)

>>41627179
Throw your spear at it

>>41627204
>>41627215
>>41627222

Looks like we are going to bravely ignore the threat and chuck a stick at it.

>Attack should have been +5 so

14 not bad writing

>>41627336
We kill it and it kills us

Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>41627179
>wasn't ready to stab the tail despite being waiting to stab it when it comes forward.
All you had to do was not be a retard, cj.
>Wrassle it like the Aussies do

>>41627417
No, it fired spines out again.

File: You_Died_RIP.png (1.2 MB, 1500x1125)

1.2 MB PNG

>14 vs lower DC 10 pass


The good news is both of the shadow things seem to be busy recovering from whatever it is they did. Which gives you the opening you need to throw you blood stained spear at the shadow beast.

The bad news is you are unable recover in time to escape from the volley of spines hurled your way, and so your body is pieced by giant spines. You begin to fall backwards as your vision fades away.

>You took it like a man and defended your dirtbike’s honor
>Ability gained Toughness Rank 1

>RIP you are now dead
>You are now at 3/3 hp, try not to double die

You hear the tourtured growling of a wounded beast and a man shouting at you so you try to focus your eyes past the light at the end of the tunnel and look at

> [] The beast
> [] The man
> [] Yourself

>>41627509
Look at ourself first. Then the man. Then the beast.

>>41627509
>the beast
Oh no no no, we got a score to settle with that thing now. Gonna eat that shit if it's the last thing we do.

>>41627509
> [] The beast

>>41627509
> [] The beast

>>41627509
The man.
Tell him to fuck off

>>41627509
>> [] Yourself

>>41627635
>Oi, fuck off and let me kill this thing!

File: Manticore.jpg (254 KB, 1410x1078)

254 KB JPG

>>41627551
>>41627560
>>41627589
>>41627624

>The beast
Nothing kills you and gets away with it you decide, so you turn and face the beast. You pick up on three things right away

1 It doesn’t hurt to look at this ugly motherfucker anymore

2 The monster is a fucking manticore, with a huge gash across its face and a spear sticking out one eye

3 Its jaw is coming down fast, it is trying to eat you


So you do the only sensible thing and

> [] Pummel it to death
> [] Force your spear the rest of the way into its skull
> [] Grapple it
> [] Rip its head off

>>41627767
> [] Force your spear the rest of the way into its skull

>>41627767
> [] Rip its head off

I like how sensible all of those options are.

>>41627767
> [] Force your spear the rest of the way into its skull

Rolled 1 + 5 (1d10 + 5)

>>41627767
Rip off its head

Rip and tare!

>>41627767
>introunce pointy end to the ugly motherfucker

>>41627767
Headbutt it.

>>41627824
>>41627849
>>41627942

Writing for lobotomy

File: ShittySkeletonDoor.png (240 KB, 640x480)

240 KB PNG

>Shadow man tries to keep his cool but rolls 3

You don’t really feel like being eaten so you jump up to your spear and shove it through the monsters brain. The manticore collapses to the ground and you watch as the life fades from its eyes.

>You have killed a manticore good job

With the monster dead you decide to pay attention to whatever this guy is yelling about, and you can’t understand a damn thing he is babbling at you in Chinese or something. He then gasps in horror and points behind you.

He doesn’t look like he is in the kind of shape to even try and hurt you so what the hell you look behind you it couldn’t be that bad.

Some kind of lame ass skeleton door has appeared behind you, it suddenly opens and you can hear the screams of tortured souls in hell. Flaming chains shoot out and try to wrap around you.

Roll me 2d10+4 to escape from the grasp of hell.

Rolled 8, 2 + 4 = 14 (2d10 + 4)

>>41628147
Rolling

Rolled 7, 9 + 4 = 20 (2d10 + 4)

>>41628147
No fuk u

Rolled 7, 6 + 4 = 17 (2d10 + 4)

>>41628147
If we fail, we have to punch a skeleton on the door in the FACE

Rolled 7, 2 + 4 = 13 (2d10 + 4)

>>41628147
Tho shalt fuck thyn self

>>41628172
>>41628179
>>41628182

>20 upper DC met
Writing

>>41628278
Wooo!
I FUCKED that door!

File: Worst_Ending_DMV.jpg (171 KB, 1600x1200)

171 KB JPG

It just takes a quick leap to the side and the flaming skeleton chains wrap around the manticore instead, you watch as its corpse is pulled into the depths of hell with a hiss of burning flesh.

The Chinese guy continues to babble incoherently at you. You tell him to shut the fuck up and it looks like something dawns on him.

“Oh you are American,” he says
“You saved my life I wont forget this, I will tell no one about the hell gate”
“Before I got lost this is how my people did things, do not worry you are safe now”

He then quickly hits you in the head with his sword – motherfucker.
Before you can teach him a lesson your vision goes white and you appear in a fucking waiting room.

You struggle to stand up but are unable to, all you can do is look at a scrap of paper in your hand that reads

First roll 1d10000 to determine how long you are stuck in the DMV a fate truly worse than hell.

Rolled 8905 (1d10000)

>>41628472
NOOOOOOO!!!

>>41628472
Lean over and look at the next closest person's number

>>41628502

8905

Bet you wish you went to hell now.

Rolled 5159 (1d10000)

>>41628472

>>41628541
Is that years or centuries?

Rolled 938 (1d1000)

>>41628472
If I crit a 1 that it's the one we use

Rolled 6740 (1d10000)

>>41628595
Wrong number rolled

>>41628518

Damn looks like everyone is conveniently sitting just too far apart to do that, you do notice that this waiting room stretches out endlessly however.

You can give me a 2d10+4 for something else if you want.

Rolled 4, 3 + 4 = 11 (2d10 + 4)

>>41628629
KILL EVERYONE. (Besides yourself)

Rolled 1, 1 + 4 = 6 (2d10 + 4)

>>41628629
Pull out a pen, and rewrite the number on our ticket

>>41628734
You fool!

Rolled 9, 9 + 4 = 22 (2d10 + 4)

>>41628629

>>41628759
Whoops, keyboard was acting funky.
>sleep
>run down a dream
>go wherever it leads

>>41628629
Uh, take a nap?

Do some push ups! GHOST EXERCISE!

>>41628734
>suddenly you are in a room full of security guards wearing nothing but latex gloves.

>you are similarly nude

>Cavity search

>Worst End

>>41628722
>>41628734
>>41628759

>22 pass upper DC
You sit and wait for what seems like eons nothing but the mind numbing ticking of a clock to keep you company. You consider screaming, murdering everyone, skipping in line, working out, or even for the love of god sleeping, but you just can’t do anything but sit and wait forever.

At last your number is called and you find yourself able to stand, you make you way to the counter to give whoever it is who created this hell a piece of your mind.

You start with, “Eight fucking thousand nine hundred,” you catch yourself when you see who is behind the counter, some sort of creepy albino chick – eh cute enough I guess.

“Ah yes, Mr. Clayton please take a seat.” She directs your attention to the chair in front of you.

You do so with a grunt as she continues on, “Born Reginald Clayton,” you wince at the sound of your birth name you never liked it much. “Forty-seven years old,” she continues, “And it says here that you were employed as a-“

One from here
> [] Contract killer
> [] Mercenary
> [] Special operator
> [] Secret agent
> [] Other
And one of these
> [] Ask why the dead must wait
> [] Go to sleep finally
> [] Seduce her
> [] Other

Also 1d100 to determine how evil you were in life, or was that hell thing just a mistake. Taking first roll.

Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>41628859
Secret agent
Seduce her

>>41628967
>50
We are true neutral

>>41628859
>operator operator number nine
>seduce her
Or try. Probably won't work, but it might be worth a shot or something.

>>41628859
I.S.I.S agent
Seduce her
Lets get archer with it, we already fucking jousted a lion

>>41628859
> [] Secret agent
>seduce her
The name's Clayton.
Reginald Clayton.

>>41628967
Truly ambivalent to good and evil.

>>41628967

A solid 50, lower side of rape and murder tier, perhaps hell was you path in the afterlife.

But the real question is did you repent?

>yes
>no

>>41628859
>> [] Mercenary
> [] Seduce her

Big Boss ain't got shit on us.

>>41628859

> [] Mercenary
> [] Seduce her

>>41629150
>>no

No deathbed conversion. He died as he lived, and didn't regret any of it.

>>41629150
>yes
We did what we had to because it was our job. We were disgusted by it.

>>41629150
Well, i mean, repentance is worthless if you continue to do awful things. And we did just kill a noble guardian lion.
Still, we made up for our bad deeds in smaller ways, helping those who seem to be in need such as beggars and people stuck on the side of a road. It was more interesting that way, too, because you got to talk to all different kinds of people.
So, in a way, you did repent. Sort of.

Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>41629150
What? If 100 was good as fuck, and 1 was evil as hell, why aren't we true neutral?
Rolling for how gay that is.

>>41629245
Not very gay, bruh.

>>41629245
It was a roll for how evil we were on a scale of 1 - 100

There was no "good" portion. It was either, VERY evil, or not very evil.

MC is -not- a good man. Read the pastebin.

>>41629150
>no
We did it our way, and made our own rules. What we did paid, and we followed orders. There's nothing to repent for.

>>41628967
>>41629121
>>41629141

Looks like you are going to use your secret agent suave to seduce yourself a creepy albino chick.

>>41629245
The MC was never a nice person, if you want to be a hero of justice then I guess its a good thing you have a fresh start now.

Also unless anyone really cares we can go with you try to do the right thing, but don't really lose sleep over it when doing bad things is quicker.

>>41629150
No.
But we here meticulous about the paper work

>>41629349
>you try to do the right thing, but don't really lose sleep over it when doing bad things is quicker.
Works for me.

Or we can always go with no, I'll count it up later so you can all argue about it more.

Also I forgot, need a 2d10+4 to determine how seduced she is

Rolled 3, 7 + 4 = 14 (2d10 + 4)

>>41629440

Rolled 3, 7 + 4 = 14 (2d10 + 4)

>>41629440
No, fuk u.

Rolled 9, 1 + 4 = 14 (2d10 + 4)

>>41629440
If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put d in u.

Rolled 6, 10 + 4 = 20 (2d10 + 4)

>>41629440
You are for sexual

>>41629520
>>41629467
>>41629461
Three fourteens?

Can we get a bonus for that? Damn son.

>>41629461
>>41629467
>>41629520

>14 Failure
>Triple 14 lower DC met, it was shit but she doesn’t hate you more

You of course decide to interrupt her, you don’t give a shit about your own life story, you put on your best smile and lean back to give her a good view of just how ripped you are and say, “If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put d in u.” FUCK that sounded much better before you said it, now it’s clear that was just a shitty pickup line, no it was the worst pickup line, you would have to force a hung over girl to eat eggs to get worse than that.

She just stares at you completely uncaring before continuing on
“Your youth is interesting Mr. Clayton, it says here you-“

As she is yammering on and on about your life notice something, before it was like your mind was filled with fog just how long did you sit there? You were in Africa before that right so where the fuck is this?

2d10+4 for reasons

> [] Killed your parents and ran a street gang
> [] Orphaned and operated a brothel
> [] Had a happy and love filled life
> [] Other
And
> [] Ask where you are
> [] Ask how long you sat there
> [] Double down really seduce her this time
> [] Other

Rolled 3, 3 + 4 = 10 (2d10 + 4)

>>41629662
> [] Orphaned and operated a brothel
> [] Ask where you are

Rolled 5, 3 + 4 = 12 (2d10 + 4)

>>41629662
>our abusive mother was the boss of our organization and workplace
>where am I?

>>41629769
Seconding the fuck outta this

>>41629769
Goddammit, we're not Archer.
Second.

Rolled 7, 7 + 4 = 18 (2d10 + 4)

>>41629769
Yes. This

>>41629722
>>41629769
>>41629787
>>41629809
>>41629810

>Parental abuse and an 18 oh joy

File: MeninBlack.jpg (12 KB, 220x148)

12 KB JPG

>18vs DC 20 failure

>Abusive mother
>Toughness rank 2 gained
>you now have 4/4 hp

She looks pensive as she states, “Oh dear an abusive mother, just where was your father this whole time?”

You feel the clarity you had before start to fade as the damn artificial lights start to dull your vision, so you decide to cut her off.

“Look lady just where the fuck am I?” You ask her, “I just got done sending a manticore to hell for killing me so just what is going on?”

She looks surprised and quickly hits a button. Then what looks like a sheet of crystal drops between the two of you. There is a sticker on it with a smiley face and in a few dozen languages it informs you to stay seated and to remain calm.

“ALERT LEVEL ONE MEMORY WIPE PROCESS FAILURE,” Jesus fuck that’s louder than a air raid siren, and it just keeps repeating

Flashing red lights begin to strobe throughout the room and men appear out of nowhere.

“Now then Mr. Clayton, just calm down everything will be fine.” She calmly tells you.

FUCK

> [] Wait is that an exit sign over there
> [] Take out the goons
> [] Fuck it break the glass and get hostage
> [] –bzzzz- remain calm citizen -bzzzz-
> [] Other

Rolled 3, 6 = 9 (2d10)

>>41630129
>[] Take out the goons

>>41630129
> [] Take out the goons
We brought our tactical turtleneck, right?
Still not Archer.

>>41630129
>go towards the exit sign
Chase scene is a go!

>>41630129
Holy fuck, I just figured what this place is. This is how reincarnation is done.
Damn, that's dark.

>>41630165
>>41630191

Looks like we are going to fight

need 2d10+5

>>41630438
Its not so bad, someone just decided that the natural process of reincarnation leaves potential for undesirable elements to pass through.

>>41630528

Rolled 1, 5 + 5 = 11 (2d10 + 5)

>>41630528

Rolled 1, 6 + 5 = 12 (2d10 + 5)

>>41630528

Rolled 6, 10 + 5 = 21 (2d10 + 5)

>>41630528

>>41630633
>>41630676
>>41630689

“Excuse me Mr. Clayton please remain calm what you are about to do will not help anything,” says the girl behind the safety crystal glass shit.

Ha fuck that, just two goons you can take them, so you head right at them when –

>21 vs upper DC 20 passed

The world suddenly spins and it feels like you just walked into a pool of molasses. But you just don’t give a fuck, as the goons reach to pull out some kind of guns you grab one and shoot him with it. He falls onto the ground twitching, looks like they were just tasers.

The other goon doesn’t even have time to put up a guard before you smash his face in with your elbow. As he is realing from the blow you decide what to do next.

>Goon hp 2/3
>Reginald hp 4/4

> [] He is weak finish him
> [] Escape, where is that exit sign
> []–bzzzz- everything will be ok just calm down -bzzzz-
> [] Other

>>41630864
Kick him in the gonads!
"How do you like them apples? Because yours no longer work! God damn, I really should have paid attention in that one-liner class. My lines are all terrible."

Rolled 9, 10 = 19 (2d10)

>>41630864
>escape
Killing the cops will only make it worse.

Rolled 7, 9 + 5 = 21 (2d10 + 5)

>>41630864
> [] Escape, where is that exit sign

>>41630962
>>41630982

Time to run away I'll just use that 24 for your escape attempt

writing

File: One_Pissed_off_DMV_Chick.jpg (564 KB, 1600x2263)

564 KB JPG

Why even bother fighting these guys, you mom could hit harder then these no name mooks. So you decide to book it. You stoop down and pick up a taser one of the goons dropped and head to the exit.

Once again it feels like someone just turned your guts inside out, you almost lose your lunch as you get closer to the interview window. Just what the fuck is this place.

“Mr. Clayton please just take a seat, you are only going to make things worse for yourself.” The lady behind the - wait where is the safety glass. “Repeated entry and exit through the time-” fuck it she just babbling about some nerd sci-fi shit now, time to get to the exit.

>24 failure

As you race to the exit the door opens and another black suited goon walks in to bar your way. And what do you know, he reaches for his weapon so you just barrel right into him sending him crashing to the ground.

You open the doors and step into the light and see that you are in some city you’ve never seen the likes of before. All the buildings seem to be made out of the same white stone. And that is when you feel an iron grip on your shoulder.

“Now then Mr. Clayton, I’ve tried to be very patient with you even after seeing what kind of scum you are from your file,” the girl from the window says – wait a second is this even her she got fucking wings now.

“I don’t know how you managed to escape the hellgate and I don’t care, for assaulting three of my underlings I’ll send you to hell myself if I need to,” you can feel the venom dripping from her voice.

> [] It’s just a chick, overpower her (2d10+5)
> [] Try to lose her in the city (2d10+4)
> [] Say sorry, that works right? (2d10+4)
> [] Other

Rolled 7, 4 = 11 (2d10)

>>41631475
Use some of that spy training to try to send her to the floor and run to hide in the city.
"Could be worse, I had the chance to kill them, you know!"

Rolled 6, 10 + 4 = 20 (2d10 + 4)

>>41631475
> [] Try to lose her in the city (2d10+4)
Headbutts always surprise people!

Right to the bridge of the nose! Easy to break that way! Then we escape!

File: image.jpg (15 KB, 492x200)

15 KB JPG

Rolled 9, 7 + 4 = 20 (2d10 + 4)

>>41631475
>24 failure
>mfw
Why even tell us to roll dice then?
>lose her in the city

Rolled 1, 8 = 9 (2d10)

>>41631475
> [] It’s just a chick, overpower her (2d10+5)
We need information

>>41631631

You needed 25 to not be caught by her, she is quite a bit past your level, should be a god bitch and let her mind wipe you.

>>41631564
>>41631606
>>41631631
>>41631655

Attack and run away, just like a real secret agent would do.

writing

>>41631631
Methinks this is -supposed- to be railroady hard.

We'd have needed to roll two tens at once to pass that roll.

It's the set-up, though, to start things along. So I expect a rough landing.

“Hey look lady, I could have killed them so how about we just overlook this,” you try to placate her with a sort of apology and then bam right in the jugular, just like they taught you in -

She hits you, not once twice before you can even move and you go flying through the city. Below you opens a endless void and predictably you fall right into the middle of it.

Roll 2d10+4 for perception

As you fall the white stone quickly changes to glass on steel, which in turn fades into art deco, it looks like you falling past architecture throughout history, when rather abruptly there is nothing but a burned out shell, small fires all around you where there is any flooring left. Then that too passes, leaving you in total darkness before you pass five rings of white. As you watch the last ring fade into the darkness you hit the ground hard.

>Reginald hp 2/5

Fuck that hurt, so you decide to take a breather.

>[ End ]

That’s it for today folks I need to grab some food. I’ll stick around for a bit to answer questions.

You managed to complete five character goals, nice work.

So you get a whole 16 exp plus and extra 10 just for playing.

You can either bank it, or wait for me to slap together some things for you to spend it on.

Rolled 6, 4 + 4 = 14 (2d10 + 4)

>>41632143

>>41631777
I roughly had three paths for you to take, indoctrination, escape or pissing the nice lady off.

Escape was meant to be near impossible just one off though so you came damn close.
You made the will rolls to get through the mind blank so you could have join up with whatever group is running this with your mind intact.
Or the ‘easy’ route get tossed down the pit, now you get to do fun things with science, play around with monsters, or fight your way up the hive through crime in the underworld.

Rolled 3, 5 + 4 = 12 (2d10 + 4)

>>41632143
We're in the sixth circle of hell. Great, just great. Guess we're going to DOOM it up soon. Or at least I trying not to get eaten.
Character goals? H'wat?
And there's nothing to spend that tasty xp on, so I guess we'll bank it for now.

Rolled 7, 1 + 4 = 12 (2d10 + 4)

>>41632143

>>41632351
Hey, man, we can't be in the sixth circle.

It's neither freezing cold, nor is there Satan crying in the middle.

We're somewhere else, filled with scrubs that we can actually fight.

Rolled 7, 10 + 4 = 21 (2d10 + 4)

>>41632406
You're thinking of the ninth circle of hell. The sixth circle covers heresy.

>>41632534
Right, sometimes I forget how deep he wrote it. My bad.

But I don't recall the sixth circle being so fuggen dark.

Then again, I have a terrible memory.

Who knows, I don't.

Here is a work in progress sheet for you to look at
http://pastebin.com/vLTT6EEn

I'd say that buffing stats is a good idea, the 100 point bonus will be very useful.

>>41632201
>14 not bad

If you can think of a goal feel free to mention them, I'l give you +5 exp for longer term goals, and +2 exp for shorter term ones.

>>41632609
Goals: throatpunch the guy who took a sword to our face. Throatpunch the chick who slapped us into fucksville. Find out how to get OUT of fucksville. Also, find out what exactly fucksville is. Lastly, find a way to discover mother's reaction to our demise and cherish it a little. Or rue it, if she enjoys it.

>>41632351

If you can think of a skill there should be, or can reasonably justify already having one, let me know I'll work it in.

>>41632722
Someone "took a sword to our face"?

What? Did I miss something?

>>41632730
Charisma/diplomacy bonus from Secret agent.
Talking is a big part of it.

>>41632730
Probably something to do with stealth.

>>41632609
Find food and water, find a weapon and civilization, scout, and get alcohol.
Let's level up that DR, that could be useful.

>>41632827
"He then quickly hits you in the head with his sword – motherfucker."

>>41632885
Also we should find that fucking griffin and kill it again. Hell hath no fury like a hungry archer.

>>41632935
Oh, that.

I thought someone cut our face up, shit, nigga, he just hit us with the pommel.

But yeah, that motherfucker, fucked us over. Gotta kick his ass.

>>41632935
>>41633077

I was being a bit unclear on that point just to see if people would pick up on what he did, he is a nameless rank and file guy from Bleach basically, he got stuck in the wrong afterlife.

I’m surprised you guys didn’t just let him die, missed out on roaming around haunting living people.

>>41632885
>>41632869
>>41632841

added a few new things and gave DR a rank too