stop making shitty quests

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>>42367959
I hope I've improved since you last saw me, anon.

>Answer

go on

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meep

>>42367988
RUN!

>>42367988
THEY KNOW OF YOUR GOAL
THEY AIM TO STOP YOU
THEY FEAR WHAT YOU WILL BECOME

You have to stall him.

>>42367988
He looks more omega than beta.

>>42367988
hold out against him until you get the wizard powers to SMITE HIM

>>42367988

"Y-you too."

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>>42368107
>The polar opposite of the Alpha Male. Omega Males can have friends and close acquaintances but prefer to accomplish things on their own without the help of a group. Omega Males generally don't belong to any cliques and have no desire to be the leader or most outstanding of said clique. Omega Males have relations with people from all groups and carry a resourcefulness and cunning (sometimes strength) to get a job done with their own skill. This being said, an omega male can have great pride without it manifesting as "ego." (There are always exceptions.

>An Alpha Male MUST absolutely be perceived by his peers as the toughest, most popular, and smartest. An Omega Male cares little for this recognition...but knows that he is all those things and more.

>Alpha males must have the support of his "boys." This can be the foundation for many shallow and superficial relationships. An Omega Male needs support from time to time, but has few true friends who know him intimately and generally shuns shallow acquaintances.

4chan

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>>42368158
"Y-you too."
"What?"

>>42368124
You still have two days!

>>42368046
You struggle to run, but he grabs you.

> What do you lift?

>>42368199
WE LIFT RANTHOR GOREMAX!

>>42368199
Our self-esteem.

>>42368199
Lift the literal lightest object you can find and pretend to struggle.
Make it think it's a lost cause so you can keep wizardness.

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>>42368199
>What do you lift?
A Speaking Spellbook

>>42368199
Our hero must obtain a fucking lift! As in, an elevator. One that is used for short but shady dealings of a sexual nature.

>>42368261
>wizard power through the eyes of normies : the picture
Bitch please, no reason to show off when you're omnipotent.
You just become the over lord and remake the world in your image ( where do that expression comes from, what the fuck does it even mean, which part of the world would be the balls ? ).

>>42368199

>lift your hands in the air like you just don't care

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>>42368314
He wasn't trying to show off. That woman was in need of wizarding and bitch ass knight in the back walked in unannounced.

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You go for his foot.

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>>42368199
>Ranthor Goremax attempting to sway you from your true cause
Stay true, brave knight.

>>42368261
>speaking spellbook
'The lesser Demon says "RGRRGLLL"'

>>42368357
...Yes. Yes you do. It's not sex if it's just oral right?

>>42368357
Cut him and RUN!

>>42368357
YOU HAVE HIGHER DEX AND INT
USE YOUR MIND GAMES

HE CANT PUNCH WHAT HE CANT THINK

>>42368357
tell him there's a princess behind him then run.

>>42368357
tell him you do because you are secretly a woman in disguise!

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>>42368489
>>42368392
>>42368419
You tell him you suck dick.

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>>42368419

>>42368552
I thought we needed to get fit first brah?
How will the bitches be mirin' if we're still our spoopy skelington selves?

And don't say you're gonna bag the girl and I'm gonna fuck her, thats not cool to the babe

>>42368552
Lift the village.

>>42368552
He genuinely seems to want to help you. Tell him you appreciate the offer but you're not interested.

If that doesn't work, make it awkward.

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>>42368552
Assassinate the princess.
It is the only way. Use your high int to pass the blame to alpha male.

>>42368666
>666
Don't listen to this devil.

>>42368552
Our heroes find a friendly bitch who is willing to lie in bed with not-yet-a-wizard knight!

It's a literal bitch, as in a female dog.

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>>42368666
>>42368726
You have no demon-resist perks!

>>42368776
QUICK
BITCHES ARE FUN
EMRBACE YOUR SHIRT

>>42368552
Tell him that you're willing to start a training regimen, culminating in getting laid, but that said program should be longer than, say... 3 days?

>>42368776
Hit a bitch with your helmet.

>>42368776
HOW CAN WE BAG HOes IF WE DON'T LIFT

>>42368802
this
>>42368776

>>42368776
Hump the floor vigorously

>>42368776
lure him to a whore and escape

>>42368776
You bag a hoe.

As in, the farming tool. You put a hoe into a bag. Maybe draw on it with crayon and make it look pretty. Then you fuck the shit out of the bag until your dick is raw.

You know, from rubbing it on the bag. It's burlap. Shit is rough you know.

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>>42368802
>>42368821

>>42368952
Shit ourselves and scream loudly

>>42368952
o no

tell her she looks like a sublime

>>42368952
Is that your fairy friend in disguise? here to help?

>>42368952
Okay we can do this. Engage KNIGHTMODE and woo her right off her feet, then make a date for the weekend, attain wizard power -and- pussy, thus pleasing everyone.

>>42368952
Compliment her.

>>42369007
"Y-you too..."

>>42368952
drop spaghetti and curl up into a ball

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>>42368993
>>42368999
>>42369007
This is not a human village.

>>42368952

"Would you like a glorious 3 day sensual massage?"

>>42368952
Rosalina, is that you?

>>42369076
Oh.

Fucking SLATHER on the charm then.

>>42369076
Right.

Fuck being a wizard. We're going for some strange right now, even if it is strange.

Monstergirls for life.

Seeing how this is going, I'm expecting her to have a dick or be a trap or something.

>>42369076
"M'LADY"
>Tip Helmet

>>42369076
>subhuman scum
purge it

>>42369122
Belay that order!

Activate Wooing Protocol!

>>42369076
"Too much human, not enough monster"

>>42369109
>>42369122
combine these

"M'MONSTER"

>Beat over the head with helmet

>>42369076
Try and figure out how to make this work.

>>42369175
agreed, we will be the gentlemanpaladin

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>>42369122
>>42369236
>>42369153
>>42369109
You are filled with sexual thoughts when you hear the clanging of thick steel armor heading towards you.

Hamlets are set on fire as the Dominion of Men-men roll into town on their weekly purge.

You might want to run and protect this girl.

>>42368952
>>42369330


>slay

He clearly intends for you to smite these beasts.

STAB IT THROUGH THE CHEST. IT IS A HIDEOUS BEAST.

Also, it may get you in good with the Dominion.

>>42369330
Run in another direction screaming to get their attention

>>42369330
TAKE THE FAIR MAIDEN AND FLEE!

>>42369330
check inventory

>>42369330
Put your arm around her shoulder, turn her away from the men-men, and say, "well, honey, I think that means our vacation is about over. We should go back to our home in [insert human settlement]"

>>42369356
Shout the communist national anthem to get their attention, then run to get them to follow you away. Or entice them with your pale nerd buttox

>>42369384
>>42369390
These.

>>42369330
tell swole knight that these guys want to kill tha bitches

Claim that some of the men-men are centaurs in disguise, make the men-men fight among themselves.

>>42369459
>Centaurs with poorly made horse faces affixed to their stomachs.
>For example, the one in the foreground.

>>42369459
then proceed to claim that some of the monsters are actually men-men in disguise, sowing further chaos

>>42369399
This, both at once

>>42369538
glorious

>>42369538
Could we stick some celery up our butt for further confusion?

>>42369575
of course

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>>42369459
>>42369493

>>42369635
Tell swoleknight these guys wanna take all tha bitches so he distracts them while we run like pussies

>>42369635
OH.

SNAP.

>>42369635
entice the centaur with our man-butt while the fair lady runs

>>42369649
Second.
Maybe say they questioned his lifting status.

>>42369732
and that they think sucking dick is gay

>>42369635
If you are truly NOT centaurs then you would have human sized dicks. Obviously the only way to test dick size is to suck them. Form a line gentlemen.

Trust me I'm a professional dick sucker. I know what I'm doing.

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>>42369649
>>42369732
>>42369744

>>42369920
we may not live long enough to wizard, might as well lose our virginity. Smack dat monster ass.

>>42369920
Retreat into the forest.

>>42369961
>>42369983
why not both? Pick up monster girl and make out with her while we run.

>>42369920
>run Run.exe

>>42369920
>>42369961

Nuts to that. This kind of thinking is why we don't have any wizards.

We may not be smart, but everyone else is way dumber.

Play them off each other and wait patiently for our magic.

But slap that fine monster booty, anyways.

>>42369920
Show them how not-gay dicksucking is by sucking off Ranthor on the spot

>>42370018
Agreed.

>>42370050
fair enough

>>42369961
Wait! It's not sex if she just goes down on you, or at least gives you a handy. We can still get our rocks off and become a wizard anyway!

>>42370176
Does shoulder sex count?

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>>42369961
>>42370018
>>42370050
>>42370072
>>42370090
>>42370176
Perverted thoughts! Unbecoming of a knight such as yourself! No matter how fine she actually is and warm she is close to your body.

You pick her up to save her life, but the mood gets interrupted.

>>42370271
Carry her into the forest!

>>42370271
drop this bitch and go to save our glorious bromance friend

>>42370271
Help out ranthor goremax! Maybe throw your new reptile gf on him...she is cold blooded.

>>42370271

Time to retreat where horses can't follow. Steep slopes or thick underbrush!

>>42370314
>>42370308
I like these plans. Ranthor needs our brosistance

>>42370271
We've got to save this maiden.

Escape with her!

>>42370271
Ranthor's been nothing but a bro, you can't leave him.

>>42370271
call out to our bro with majorly homoerotic distress

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Help him, then strike a jojo pose together to intimidate your opponents

>>42370271
Put out the fire with your jizz. To save a bro, you must cum on a bro.

No homo tho

>>42370308
>>42370314
>>42370350
>>42370376
>>42370383
>>42370410
>>42370414

This is reminding me of the failed Towergirls quest when the OP kept getting pissed because every attempt to make our "manly man dragon" main character totally gay crited or at least rolled stupidly well

>>42370446
I sincerely hope there is a screenshot or something of that.

>>42370446
Except in this the writing is decent and the anons are enjoying the dick sucking (no homo)

>>42370483
probably not, the quest failed utterly because OP was terrible at planning times and also passed out several times in it

>>42370519
shame, because Towergirls did have potential to be not shit.

>>42370446
nothing gay about jojo

>>42370525
How the literal fuck do you pass out doing this shit

>>42370563
KILL HIM WITH FIRE
Or ask why he bothered helping you.

>>42370563
Wait, so is Ranthor an evil lich trying to get you laid to stop you from becoming a wizard so you can't smite him later?

>>42370570
no idea, he didn't seem too experienced

>>42370563
that's beautiful. Join him.

>>42370563
What a tweest!

>>42370563
I...
Huh.
That was unexpected.
How do you suck dick without lips?
And aren't liches a type of wizard?

>>42370563

Looks like the Purge has its hands full. Time to run run run and hide in the wilderness for 2 days before ascending to wizardom

>>42370563

Grab the our waifu and jet, daddy-o.

>>42370563
Tactical retreat

>>42370563
Bro was a skeleton all along! Do you still trust skelebro after finding out?

Yes [ ]
No [ ]

>>42370676
[x]Yes

>>42370676

He's a rival wizard trying to get us laid.

HE IS NO BRO!

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>>42370676
>>42370694
>>42370620
>>42370616
>>42370611
>>42370596
You make up your mind to help Ranthor instead of the racist jerks.

>>42370724
Name your second kid Terry

>>42370724
Alright then, let's slay the evil king.

Help out Ranthor!

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>>42370724
>we are not naming the first kid Terry
Drop the cunt. Right now.

>>42370724
Name the first kid Terri.

Also, you must help skelebro out by giving him what all black magic rituals need.

Virgin blood.

AKA yours.

You poke your finger on the tip of your sword and then gently smear it on Ranthor's flaming skull.

>>42370756
>Our first kid is a girl

someone archive this when it's done, I need to sleep

>>42370796
Terry is a gender neutral name

>>42370894
Get out of here tumbler.

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>>42370789
You see a familiar face.

>>42370933
I believe Terry IS a gender neutral name but my own source is this one episode of the Jimmy Neutron show.

>>42370959
Call her father a cuck

>>42370959
Oh shit, the princess for ages ago I literally forgot all about until right now!

...Doesn't she technically owe you a favor for rescuing her that one time? Have her call off the purge.

>>42370959
Oh that fucking BITCH.

Draw your sword!

>>42370959
Apologize. We thought gross was the family name.
We were clearly wrong.

We need to gain our wizardly powers so that we can defeat the king.
Now is a good time for the making of the being not here.

>>42370959
>>42370995

This nigga gets it.

This is what we want as our "thank you".

On an unrelated note; how will our bromance continue if Ranthor is a lich?

>>42371019
this guy's plan mixed with >>42370995

>>42371037
easily, because we're not lichphobic bitches

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>>42370995
>>42371019
>>42371037

>>42371161
try to get eachother to get along so you can fuck both and have a massive harem

>>42371161
Get out of there, she'll never make you pay child support.

>>42371161

Lichbro Ranthor.....?

>>42371161

I say go with her, the other chick is obviously a mimic

>>42371161
Uhhh...

I don't know how to deal with this.

>>42371161
We can salvage this! Become the ultimate wingman and try to hook princess and Ranthor up. Bitch seems thirsty as fuck looking at the first comic, just get her to lust over skelebro's boner and you're set.

>>42371161
One I'm holding off on anything until I get Wizard powers
Two Things have gotten fucking weird.
Three can we all just get along?

>>42371161
I mean, your dad's the king, can't he just decree that polygamy is legal? And then set the date for the wedding for two days from now so that all the shitty peasants can gather from far and wide to take part in the reception, which gives us the necessary time to become a wizard?

And Ranthor gets to bang all sorts of bridesmaids.

I seriously can't see a single thing wrong.

>>42371161
WAIT A MINUTE

She said she didn't know any wizards! but she obviously knows the fucking Men-Men! that lying bitch!

>>42371225
Maybe either girl doesn't feel like sharing?

Clearly the only way to settle this is with A CHILDREN'S CARD GAME

>>42371241
I mean, Ranthor's going to call everyone involved a gigantic nerd, but it IS a traditional method of resolving disputes...

What happened to the fairy anyways?

>>42371256
All we need to do is do it on motorcycles and then it's suddenly awesome-hardcore.

>>42371259
We haven't asked the fairy for advice at all.

We should do that.

>>42371259
The fairy is the one that started this whole shit. She promises to make people wizards and then tries to fuck with them because she doesn't actually want to make people wizards.

Why? Fucked if I know. Maybe she's a voyeur or something. Into virgins having their first time, wants a steady supply of virgins running around so promises to make them virgins after a long period of time so they're nice and ready for it.

>>42371161
We are TRYING to gain supreme power over the universe.

Could you wait, like, three days max?

>>42371297
>and then tries to fuck with them

>Why? Fucked if I know.

>The fairy
>fairy
Don't worry, I figured it out, anon.

>>42371277

What advice could the fairy possibly give us?

She don't know shit about wizards and we're dealing with a Lichbro, fireslinging Men-men, and monster waifus.

That fairy can stuff it as far as I'm concerned.

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>>42371277
>>42371259
>>42371297
>>42371316
>>42371317

>>42371406
Cry like a bitch

>>42371406

welp

>>42371406
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT.

>>42371424
Also this.

>>42371406
but what was she gonna do in 2 days

>>42371406

Immediately fuck monster waifu.

Maintain eye contact with the Princess.

Shes next.

>>42371406
Sex the fairy.

>>42371406
Romance the fairy!

>>42371406
Well, according to future seeing monster girl you're going to have kids. Which implies you get laid unless this is one of those "technically correct" things where you adopt or something so I assume you and fairy must part ways eventually.

Also holy shit, why are so many chicks swarming around this guy? Why are all the harem male leads such beta fucks?

Anyway, this can all be solved with a not-technically-an-orgy, since an orgy would require you to have sex and going down on someone doesn't count as sex. Everyone gets a happy ending, and then a happy ending.

>>42371406
Fuck the princess, the monster girl, and the fairy.

>>42371406
Alright, fuck this shit. Time to march our asses into the fae realms and institute some policy changes. Asshole king, slutty princess with a heart of gold, hypermasculine dudebro lich, actual fake centaur masquerading as a man-man, oracular monstergirl, you're all coming with us.

>>42371462
And Ranthor. No homo.

>>42371406
Woo that fairy.

HARD.

>>42371406
What the fuck fairy? How long have we known her for? Why are we even travelling with a fairy if not to become a wizard?

Go brave knight, continue your quest to become a wizard! Then you can use your wizard powers to break whatever bullshit rule means you and fairy girl can't be friends if you do the do.

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>>42371470
Time to take matters into your own hands, instead of waiting for something to be handed to you.

>>42371578
In retrospect, I feel like having king Dad as a father-in-law is probably scaring off a lot of the higher-quality eligible bachelors.

Princess had a rough life.

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>>42371613
It can't be easy.

>>42371613

Yeah?

Well we've clearly been lied to by a fairy our entire lives.

A fairy who was cockblocking us with lies of wizardry.

We could have been like Lichbro!

We could have been balls deep in everything!

We could have been a contender

>>42371672
We need a room for the night. One bed.

>>42371672
One McRibs and a large chocolate shake

>>42371672
He looks like a guy who would know his way around bureaucracy. Alright, guy. It's urgent: Take us to where you keep your filing cabinets. We've gotta see what we're up against.

>>42371702
And this can't hurt.

>>42371672
Establish dominance by drinking his coffee.

Maintain eye contact.

>>42371672
Ask him where you can deliver a complaint, then tell him to have a nice day

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>>42371770

>>42371868
Wait, is that his way of offering to sleep with us?

Dude, we only just met, come on. Have a little dignity.

>>42371868
But I like my fairy dick.

>>42371868
tell him you're sorry

>>42371868
Explain that's just how you say, "Hello."

>>42371868
Grab tie.

"You ain't run shit less I say you run shit. This is MY house now, knife ears!"

>>42371868
Punch him in the dick. Fuck all the rules and all the btiches.

We mad now.

>>42371924
>>42371954
These. In order.

Then steal his keys and his Jag.

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>>42371924
>>42371954
>>42371998

>>42372004
Damn right "Fine."

Punkass N'Wha.

>>42372004
Now help that motherfucker up, because gods do whatever gods feel like, and also I think they're supposed to be a little bit capricious.

>Multiple correct solutions required - please solve more.
CAPTCHA, WHY?

>>42372004
If I remember correctly, I asked for a room.

>>42372004
Kick him while he's down because we're frustrated. Then ask Fairy to take us somewhere.

Then fuck all three of them. They all need a good lay.

>>42372004
Glorious!

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>>42372069
>>42372083
>>42372068
It's even better being a god than you thought it was. You especially like the whole free love thing going on.

BEST ENDING GAINED.

Thanks for playing!

>>42372206
Bravo

>>42372206
I give the art an 8/10
I give the story 6/10

>>42372206
now have all the babies and set them up to take over different aspects of your new fairy kingdom, SMART NEPOTISM AHEAD!

Might I recommend a closure theme?

Main Theme - Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-ZiCJnUYPA

Good night, everyone.

Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>42372206
Your wizard self from another dimension appears.

>>42372227
Damn, game over

>>42372228
Trips and a 99 can't be denied. CONTINUE THE STORY!

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>>42372206
Was a neat story

>>42372243
That's not trips dumbass

>>42368314
Pretty sure it was mankind what was made to the image, not the world itself

just woke up, I'm proud of you all. Now, does this mean we killed the king already?

>>42375695
He probably got arrested.

>>42372004
That fairy mirin' pretty hard.