>>42740613
The Sons and Daughters of Gotham- Arkham's elites- are celebrated by this city. We may be afraid of them, but we venerate them. Because they make this city special, and they make us forget that there are worse thing out there. They let us put a face on the real disease killing this city, and they make it look like our police can do something to stop it.

Do you want to know who saved my life, Gotham? Do you want to know who saved the lives of everyone in that concert hall? It was the Joker. He came because of some petty squabble with the real killer, while the police were nowhere to be seen.

Gotham, this is a tumultuous time for this city. It's become clear to me that we are in the midst of an identity crisis.

While you go about your day, Gotham, I'd like you to think about this- Who is the soul of this city?"


The face of Prisilla Cris, Gotham's number one political analyst and secret lieutenant of the Joker, is somber and serious. Dwayne clicks the television off.

"That Holly... she's really changed her tune, huh?" he says nervously. "She seemed messed up pretty bad the other night," agrees Knock. "Might have rattled somethin' loose."

Dottie scoffs dismissively. "It's all part of the act, man. She's still just tryin' to get people all shaken up so she can collect donations. Wouldn't put it past her to already have that kid she was talkin' about on her speakin' tours. Catch 'em while their young, yeah? Get all buddy-buddy with him, give the little shit somethin' to cry on-" Dottie adjusts her breasts in an exaggerated fashion- ", an' he'll give her every dime he's got. She's a damn viper."

"Maybe," you say, unsure. "She's got something up her sleeves. We can bet on that."

"Yeah, well, we better keep an eye on her, Boss," says Dwayne. "She's never been this direct before. Might make some people nervous. You still thinkin' we can count her out as the rat?"

You shrug. "I'm not sure. She seemed as surprised by the whole thing as we were."

(cont)

>>42740977

"Yeah, we gonna talk about that, Boss?" asks Dottie. "Buncha monsters gettin' involved with a gang war. Seems like they been settin' things off on purpose. I still say it all leads back to Holly. Thing ran right back to her when it got busted up."

"It ran to Spellcraft," you correct her. "And she was only following orders from someone else. Someone who had set up these attacks well before we even knew their was a going to be a war."

It's as if there is a cold chill in the room. Everyone is thinking it, but no one wants to say it. There is only one man who knew you were going to take over for the Joker...

The moment passes.

"An' now they've got a buncha Bat-Men of their own," says Knock.

"They've not been usin' 'em, though," says Dwayne. "After the Monster Mash down at the docks, things have gone back to normal. Everybody's still gunnin' for each other, but they ain't sendin' anything to rip each others' guts out."

"And what about Black Mask?" you ask. "Has he made any moves?"

He shakes his head. "No way of knowin'. He could be gunnin' people down and blamin' it on the other guys. It's a trick his boys like to pull. He's got a bunch of boys in white collar stuff, too. Government positions and stuff, ya know? Easy for him to get info, and heasy for him to pin stuff on people."

"I guess we're in a bit of a lull right now, then," you offer. "Let's try to get our bearings on the situation. Then we can come up with some kind of plan- hopefully, we can get the tables turned back in our favor. I'm tired of everyone pushing us around.

It's time for us to stop being so damned agreeable."


>What questions do we have about our situation?

>What plan can we formulate?
>What is the goal of our plan?
>How will we perform it?
>Who will we put in charge of what?
>What resources will we need?

>>42741256
>Who do we knows out in the wild right now?
>We heard anything from them lately?
>Time to put our ear to the ground and see what we got.
>Any local events coming up?
In other news, the Joker is about to sit in the corner and twiddle his thumbs while some maniac sets the gangs and cops against each other. But not us of course, we'll just coincidentally come out of this on top.
In short, it's time for us to pull a distraction play, maybe run for office, and engage in a little aggressive expansion.

>>42741435
>>42741256
The gangs are already on edge, a little extortion here, some bribery there. And a few well placed drive-bys and bombs and we're set. Hell, we could even double up on them just to get the party started right.
While that's going on we'll set a few bombs at known locales we might want gone. Two at a time.
That'll get Wesker's boys off our back. During we run a stealth op to deal with Two-Face, since we've ninja mimes apparently.
Then it'll just be us and Harv and Cobblepuss. Just like old times.
We should get Red and Coal on the party favors for now and go from there.
While that's going on we'll pull some "Stalking Horse" stuff and see if we can draw whoever is after us...the one we're worried about out.
But this is all very much a work in progress.
Still, imagine the looks on Harvey's faces!

>>42741576
>>42741256
>Harv
I messed up there, anyway. Point is Scar-face my little friend, Harvey can't be trusted. He's just so...what's the phrase I'm looking for?
>Possible TV ad running for something in town with Harv as our VP equivalent.
"Why settle for the lesser of two evils when you can have both?!"
Also we should tell birdbrain this is all an elaborate false flag.
Holly handles this broadcast. Gotta put a good face on after all.
Knock's boys get the word from the street.
Have Dwayne look into who booked Spellman and the Screechers.
Get ready to do some minor fund raising. In a fashion that cements our partnership with Harv, with Cobblepot's aid introducing Scar-face to a wood chipper oughta be as easy as sawing logs. Or at least introducting Harvey's better half to one.

Wait, you're saying we obliterate Scar-Face and try to spook Harv into a truce?

Sonny you're crazier than I am if you think that'll work.

>>42741804
Sometimes you need a bit of crazy.

Sometime you need a lot, especially when you're dealing with the joker

>>42741804
Nah, other way around gramps.
Take the wax out of your eyes, we drive Scar-face to Penguin since they both "lost their partners", they double down on Harv.
And afterwards we swoop in and see how well the little guy swims (In acid even!)
Then we focus on Mask.
Sorry if I wasn't clear but I just get too excited for my own good sometimes. Heh, anyway yeah.

>>42741885

Ah, I think I figured out the tune. Cute, so long as we make sure pengers gets the message.

It's a classic double triple cross. Pinocchio and his two-tone buddy won't see it coming.

So for this to work, we need some targets that Cobblepot won't miss. Red needs to rig us some great fireworks displays for the places we hit.

Bribe some boys on Scarface's payroll. If money won't work, ice them and get some of our boys in. Once we get that, we have them hit some of Harvey's joints. It's a little long con, but we should be able to make it work.

Then, we get some candid shots of Penguin and old Blockhead, then make like a PI to Harv and show him what the missus has been up to while he's winning the bread.

Even if we don't get an alliance out of it, a 5 way war might work better for us, if only because people have less time to watch out for us if they have to watch out for everyone else as well.

>>42742166
Nah, nah. Well yeah, but ideally we make it look two on two while it's 3 on 1 and then us and lord of the hen house against a real blockhead.

"Dwayne, who do we know out in the wild right now?" you ask. "Have we heard anything from them recently?"

Dwayne thinks for a moment. "Penguin, obviously. He'a got Nightjar callin' us and keeping us in the know. From the way she makes it sound the pots, and that means they've got a whole lot more things that can go wrong for them than we do. Guess sometimes it pays to take the more direct approach.

Besides him, we got your pall Mayo. He don't know mucha anything though. An' I got a couple more private contractors we could call in if things get hairy. Old boss wasn't much of one for friends."

You think for a moment. "Are there any local events coming up?"

Dwayne shrugs. "A couple of Halloween benefits. People campaignin' for the elections next month. Other than that, though, nothin' that we could take advantage of."

You smile a wicked smile. "Oh come on, D. I wouldn't say that... I think I've got a plan to get all our eggs into one basket."

>>42742166
>You already made that crack.
Ugh, maybe comedy isn't the game for me.
I think I'll try my hand at stage magic next.
Either way, this needs to go off without a hitch. And ms. Cris's sob story might keep the bat puzzled for a minute.

Halloween, why that's just up our alley! We should probably set up a haunted house or something. Kids'll love it and if we leave it a legit enterprise, it'll keep players heads scratching while we do our real business.

In a pinch, if it doesn't get any traffic, we can rig it up as a decoy deathtrap for nosy types.

>>42742309
A Halloween party? That's perfect, we'll just stroll in the front door like we're only dressed as joker

>>42742422
I love this. I'm also having a real hard time not suggesting we open it in Crime Alley.
Those Escape Adventure things are big now right? All we'd need to do is swap some tanks.

>>42742334

"Dwayne, I've got a vision for this city- and to achieve it, I'll be running for Mayor."

The entire crew looks at you, their eyes wide with surprise and fear.

"Uh... Boss?" Knock tries to start, but you cut him off.

"It's perfect. It keeps us visible and in the open. We then have some of our boys go after all the other gangs, and shake things up more than they already are. Right now we've got three sides in this gang- and everyone's evenly matched. What I want to do is split the alliances and break us back down into five separate gangs. Then once everyone thinks things are balanced again, we pull the sheet off the whole charade and wipe the others out.

For this to work, we need to get Harv on our side. We'll run him as our Vice Mayor- hopefully we'll be able to get him to fall in line with the whole game. That should run Scarface to Penguin; Scarface will try to maintain the power balance by hitching his wagon to another of the gangs. We'll call Penguin and have him make the offer first, of course - I don't want Scarface going to Black Mask instead. And if we get Penguin's help, we can get some proof of Scarface betraying Two-Face. That way, we'll have him over a barrel; he'll have to help us."

"So you're sayin' we use this as a big stunt to break the stalemate?" asks Dwayne.

"Best of all," you continue, still lost in thought. "We've already got a built-in voting base. Three gangs worth, at least. And who knows how much damage Holly has done to the city's trust in authority? Why, we might even..."

"Right," says Dwayne, stoically. "We might even be able to solve this whole mess." It seems he won't humor your idea of a proper mayoral run, but maybe...

(cont)

>>42742467

"Can YOU escape Uncle Joker's House of Fun?"

>>42742775
Bring the family!
And mostly it's legit. But if any VIPs show up they get some smilex and a room on total lockdown.

>>42742761

You continue, "And we celebrate the whole thing with a Halloween party! We've got the resources, and we've got the pull. We can convert Crime Alley- ALL of Crime Alley- into some kind of attraction. A Haunted House or something. And we keep it on the level. Like with the merchandise. Like Holly was saying, the people in this city are fascinated by people like us- if we give them the chance, they'll come right to us. Especially if Holly tells them to."

"...Right, Boss. And all this'll help us keep everything lookin' legit, right? Just so Harvey doesn't think we're tryin' to play him."

"...Yeah, right. Of course," you say. "All part of the plan."

Dwayne runs his hand through his hair, exasperated. "Alright, Boss. So lemme get this straight. Step One: We hit Penguin, Scarface, Two-Face, an' I'm guessin' ourselves, and pin it on somebody else."

"...Right. Red can probably work something up."

"Step Two: We get you an' Harvey campaignin' for Mayor. Big an' loud like."

"Right, and with Holly's support, we might even..."

"Step Three: Penguin calls up Scarface an' offers him a partnership. We snap some photos, then take 'em to Harvey so he'll support us."

"Right," you say. "We get everyone ready for someone to stab them in the back. It'll help us get a hold on the whole situation- and hopefully, we can drive out Black Mask or whoever's behind this whole thing."


"Well... it sounds..." Dwayne says slowly. "...It sounds like somethin' the Old Boss woulda cooked up. Guess we better get started then, yeah?"

You begin preparing for Step One, attacking all four gang bosses at the same time. You and your crew has a long day ahead of you...

>Who will we divide into teams?
>What types of locales will we target?
>How will we make sure it isn't traced back to us?
>How hard are we going to hit them?

Question.

We've been with these guys for a while now. Have we picked out who favors working together, yet? I know Spike and Dwayn tend to get on, so that's a pretty good team. Any other pairs like that?

With all the shit that's been going on, I'd personally like to keep Dot with us as a bodyguard.

>>42743234
>Clubs, casinos, anything really but we hit us like Harvey would.
Similarly we hit Scar-face like Harvey would.
The hit on us oughta look worse than it actually is, but still.
Penguin gets hit like Scar-face would.
We settle up.
SOMEBODY GETS HIT BY THE FALSE FACERS
Maybe Scarface?
Holly does her deal, Red sets up our party favors and our legit funhouse like ya do. If he needs help I guess Knock and Spike can help him out if it's man-power needed. Campaign is handled by Dwayne, possibly Dottie.
Dwayne mediates and checks on holly's connections, possibly with her aid.
Similarly Penguin oughta not get wrecked by us too bad, internally anyway.
Coal helps out Red and others where needed.
CK gets started on his legit merch, and possibly help fund things.

>>42743550
Yeah I agree Dyane and Spike, Dot anf us we're the only one who understands that her issues don't make her crazy just a shy loner, hell I think her issues come from all the loss and pain she's suffered from her past. I think Knock and red might be a good combo too, and then have coal and holly working the white coller angle.

>>42743751

why would we have it look like Harv attacked us right before we team up with him?

>>42743751

I like this approach. Just a total board shake.

As to dispositions:

Dwayne - Punch clock Henchmensch. May or may not be starting a thing with Spike's mom. General advisor and logistics.

Spike - 16 year old "tech expert", very good with computers, but has that wonderful stereotypical computer geek physique. Next to no good in a fight, but anything with regards to that fancy online hoodoo, and we got him.

Knock - Our man with the gangs. He provides our manpower. Mostly likes us since we bailed some of his folks out of jail.

Dottie - Bodyguard and crazy girl. She's great for wetwork, but definitely not all there. Loyal as we're likely to get from those that know us.

Holly - Propaganda and event planning. Has her own issues we're starting to find out about. Definitely keep her at arm's length until we get a bit more of a handle on her.

Lefty and Right are of course our brawn. Dumb, but good for smashing shit up.

That's our inner circle make up and specialities as I'm aware right now. There's also Coal, Red, and CK, but they're what I'd call associates unless circumstances change.

>>42743772
To be fair, she may still be a crazy shy loner. We lack the data to fully act on yet.

Either way, we get on well with her, and we still can't handle ourselves fully. With all this shit, we need someone on hand to keep an eye on our backs, even at base.

>>42743772
Eh, she's also got shallow emotions and hallucinations. How bad varies from person to person and might be due to trauma.
But using the example of my best friend and wing-man Samantha, most people she's "meh" about, I've known her since second grade and outside of me and her family I know she's only ever actually cared about 2 people more than "they're kinda alright" she's met since she went deep-end in late highschool/early college. However, me and a few others apparently inspire some rabid loyalty. It's not impossible to undercut the shallow emotions thing. Just stupid hard.
And again varies from case to case as to how bad it is

>>42743965
We show up pissed, ask him about it because we have doubts as to who did it after the attack on Scar-Face. Not like him to double-cross quite like that.
And with the False Facers involvement we're checking. Worst case scenario we team up to wreck THEM up and still remove a player from the game.

>>42743234


"We'll split up like this: Dwayne, you take Spike. Knock, take Red. I'll go with Dot-" Dwayne and Knock share a look "-, and we'll have Holly and Coal on the white collar stuff.

We'll hit everyone with someone else's style. Nobody knows where anyone else stands. We have 'Harvey' hit us. Two bombs or something. And he also hits Scarface. Penguin then gets hit by Scarface, preferably something at the shipyard, and then...."

You hear someone coming down the stairway. It is Nightjar. "Don't even bother to call first anymore, do ya?" asks Dottie. Nightjar ignores her. "It seems you're all quite busy. Care to share what's going on?"

"We were just getting to the part where Penguin is going to attack us tonight." She looks shocked. "And what do we know about the False Facers? They'll hit somebody too. That way we have an excuse to run to Harvey and asking if he was the one who attacked us."

"The False Face Society is a white collar operation primarily." says Knightjar "There is a street-level underclass, but they're mostly expendable kids. They tend to recruit quickly, then send big waves of fresh bodies at some high-value target. Most of the actual gang leaders never get their hands dirty at all. They're mostly members of Gotham's business circles. Wealthy people with vendettas, or just thrill seekers. I'm surprised William never fell in with them." She pauses for a moment, but quickly recovers. "Now, can you tell me exactly WHY the Penguin is attacking you tonight?"

"Because the False Face Society will be attacking The Penguin tonight as well," you say. You explain the entirety of tonight's plan to her. She seems a bit unenthusiastic about the whole matter, but holds her tongue. "I'll have to alert Mister Cobblepot. I'll get you your targets; I'll just suggest some things he has insured. He might be able to make a profit of this..."

"Good girl, Jarhead," you say with a smile. "It just has to look like he takes a hit."
(cont)

>>42745293
OP? You're underdressed! You might want to put your face on.

>>42745293
Oh god, we've infected Nightjar to the extent that she's screwing up her own name in the third person when she talks!

>>42745753
Pretty impressive for a no account slacker right?
watch us be from Bludhaven or some place crazy. We'll drop our hometown somewhere in conversation and the whole room will just stop dead while we carry on.
Everybody will wonder how we're anything like normal. We'll shrug, point out normal is relative and go on. That or tell somebody about the time we talked a B-list villain into not robbing a bank as the thing that got us into psychology as a kid.
he killed himself later that same day
But what do we know about villains? We have a 2.7 GPA.

>>42745293

You complete your preparations, and divide up your teams.

After consulting with her boss, Nightjar gives you some details. "Mister Cobblepot says he has a shipment of curios held up at the docks. A few vases and some other knicknacks. Rare and expensive, but wholly legitimate. If 'Scarface' were to steam them, he would loose a great deal of money from the perspective buyers. Of course they're thoroughly insured. And if those items were to show up on the black market again later, I'm sure the buyers would be ecstatic at their good fortune, and would be willing to pay for Mister Cobblepot's effort in tracking down their lost items." She seems quite pleased with herself. "As for the False Face Society, Mister Cobblepot recently purchased a small nightclub across town; a former rival of his Iceberg Lounge. It's purchase was quite public, and Black Mask's men could see a newly acquired location such as it as an easy target. Besides, it will need to be remodeled anyway. We can find some men to handle that part; you needn't worry about it."

"An' like you said, we hit Scarface down at the docks," says Dwayne. "And Two-Face has few bookies operating out of a bar downtown. We can just hit those guys. An' he'll hit us at one of our old hangouts- we used to operate out of a novelty factory. Rubber noses an' stuff, you know? Still keep a few guys there, but we can move 'em out. Important thing is it's a pretty noticeable locale inside the city. Got a Comedy Club down in Crime Alley too. Ain't much for jokes down that way though, so we can spare it. Might make a good target for Penguin."

"Now you just have to decide which team goes where," says Knock.

>You/Dottie
>Spike/Dwayne
>Knock/Red

>Which team does which?
>Pretends to be Penguin's gang and attacks the Comedy Club
>Pretends to be Two-Face's gang and attacks the Novelty Factory, then Scarface's warehouse
>Pretends to be Scarface's gang and steals Penguin's shipment, then attacks Harvey's bookies

>>42745293

>knightjar

fug


>>42746017
You grow up fast in Latveria

>>42746047
>Spike/Dwayne Comedy Club.
>Knock/Red Shipment+Bookies
>Brock/Dot Warehouse+Novelty Factory
Maximum psych value with Dot is probably Crime Alley, but this is probably the best way to go for effectiveness.
>Captcha keeps giving me pies

>>42746089
Muhahahaha!
Now if only I had the appropriate pics on my phone.

>>42746260
This works.>>42746286

>>42746047
I think that us and Dot should handle Scar's stuff. That seems the safest overall.

Send the kid and Dwayne to do the factory and warehouse.

Leaves Knock and Red for the Club.

>>42746260
>>42746364
Fine, changing my vote.
Betrayal!

>>42746455
Sorry if this was unclear.>>42746260
Is me.

>>42746047

"Dwayne, take Spike and hit the comedy club. It should be the least dangerous, since it's our own guys. Call ahead and make sure they put up a fight before you chase them out. Knock, take Red and hit the factory and the warehouse. We'll need the most explosives there. Dot and I will take the will take the bookies and the shipment. That way I can keep an eye on Penguin's goods for him, and Dot gets a chance to make an impression on the bookies."

You all get dressed appropriately. Nightjar provides Dwayne and Spike with some of Penguin's street gang uniforms- parkas and black-and-white ski masks. "What, no suits?" Dwayne asks. "The suits are for dealing with the public. These are for when we want to send a message," responds Nightjar. "Besides, there was no way I could've gotten two suits to fit you and the kid on such short notice. Mister Cobblepot's resources spread far, but I'm afraid he just isn't magic."

Red and Knock wear the Red-and-Black ski masks of Two-Face's men, while you and Dottie dress like Scarface's boys- pinstripe suits and hats like gangsters. Dot tucks her green hair under her hat, and you both remove your clown paint. With your face unpainted, you are unrecognizable to most of the city. No one will suspect that you are the Joker. Looking at her, you see the face you last saw at Arkham - light brown, and covered with short white scars.

"Eyepatch, Dot," you remind her. Her glass eye is still cracked, and the socket is still watery. The skin around it is bright red. You look at her with concern. "Is, uh... is your eye doing alright? It looks like it might be getting infected or something." She shrugs. "'S fine."
Dwayne and Spike are the first to head out. As the two gigantic men squeeze inside Dwayne's minuscule Volkswagen, both wearing heavy parkas and ski masks, there is an uncomfortable silence.

Finally, Dwayne breaks it. "...So, Spike... Guess things have been kinda awkward around here recently, huh?"

>SPIKE, WHAT SAY?

>>42746948

wait, are we seriously about to have spike and dwayne talk out their issues over dwayne maybe banging his mom while they blow up a building dressed as penguins

>>42746993
Too right we are.

>>42746948
We really need to get Dot another god damn eye before it becomes an actual problem.

As for spike:
Hes a internet teen who hangs with the damn jokers gang. If there is anyone who knows not to rock the boat in certain ways.
I think he would be initially distracted and uncommital until dwayne goes into detail and pushes it.

>>42746948
"I...uh...yeah. You up to hit McDonald's on the way back?"
Or
"Y-you too."

>>42747068
>We really need to get Dot another god damn eye before it becomes an actual problem.
Seconded.
>>42747089
Nah, we gotta dig deep into this emotion shit.
"I guess, yeah. What's...what's going on between you and my mom?"

>>42747068
Agreed on the eye.
>Captcha pies for the 5th time.
It knows. We must kill captcha.

>>42746948
Ok, mental note. We need to get Dot a new eye. Don't demand she have it, but offer. Her choice and all, the fact that she hasn't replaced it herself means it has some import for her we don't know. So offer, but not pushy.

Spike: Just make it clear that you're worried about your mom a bit. After all, the business you're both in...if things go really bad, she'd probably lose you both. Things are a bit more stable with the new boss and all, but the old one's still pulling tricks, and....well. It's gunna be a mess. Just treat her right, yeah? She's your mom, and you worry about her.

>>42747135
We do, but somehow I don't think Spike wants to face his mom banging his co-worker head on.

>>42747178
...yeah, with her personality and mental issues, the eye is....there's probably a deal with that.

Make a gesture, but tread carefully, and above all else, don't demand. Trust issues, and all. Don't act like you know better for herself then she does.

>>42747260
"So, I was thinking..I'm getting you a new eye. Any preferences? You don't have to use it. But if that one gets to be an issue. I mean, I gotta look out for you guys."
Something like that?

>>42747260
>>42747372
>After the inevitable reaction
"Not everything's about that Dot. I'd do the same if it was one of the guys, if I can't fix a small problem like that...well, hold up, what's the story there?"

>>42747372
>I gotta look out for you guys.
>look out for you
Anon if that was intentional you have brought dishonor to our family

>>42747573
Nope.

>>42746948
I feel that Spike has to ask, "Are you fucking my mom?"

>>42746948

The two continue their drive through Crime Alley, the tiny car nearly scraping against the pavement as the two huge occupants are squeezed uncomfortably against the doors and windows.

"Yeah, things with them Man-bats and all the gang wars. Crazy shit, D," says Spike, trying his best to look out the window, but failing miserably. Most of the window is filled by his shoulder and upper arm.

"Yeah... Crazy shit," says Dwayne.

They arrive at the Comedy Club, and squeeze out of the car. Both of them pull SMGs from the tiny trunk.

"You know, Spike, I was actually talking more about, you know, your mom and me," says Dwayne, as both of them fire the SMGs into the front of the club. Glass shatters and spills into the streets, as the men inside begin shouting.

"Man what about her?!" says the fat kid angrily. Some of the men come out of the club firing guns, and both Dwayne and Spike duck behind a car out front. The car is riddled with bullet holes.

"Look, Spike, I know it's weird to have somebody with your mom, but..." A bullet whizzes by Dwayne's face, and he stands up over the car, firing towards the men. They begin scattering out of the club and into the alleyways.

"Man of COURSE it's weird! 'Specially when it's somebody like you!" says Spike, lighting a molotov, and handing it over to Dwayne. "An' just what's that supposed to mean?" Dwayne asks angrily, taking the flaming bottle and tossing it into the club, the fire spreading inside the open door.

Spike stands to face Dwayne. "It means, D, that I don't want somebody from a gang like this gettin' mixed up with my mom!" Dwayne looks down at the kid, half his own height but nearly as wide. "You talkin' about the gang you're already a part of, slim?" asks Dwayne.

(cont)

>>42747721
Give up dude. Your butthurt only gives him more power.

And me an erection.

>>42747764
Spike looks him straight in the eyes. "That don't mean I want her bein' a part of it."

The two men stand and watch the club burn for a few minutes, sweating inside their parkas and ski masks.

Finally Dwayne speaks up. "...You wanna hit McDonalds on the way back?"

"Yeah, alright," says Spike. They both squeeze into the tiny car and leave.
Elsewhere in the city, Knock and Red sit in a car together, on the way to the Novelty Factory.

"So..." says Knock. "You ain't around much, huh?"

"Sure looks that way, don't it cap'n?" says the man. His mask is pulled just above his mouth, and he is again chewing on a filthy smoldering stub of a cigar.

>KNOCK, WAT ASK

>>42747924
The only thing that could cause this much nonsensical anger is horrible hemmeroids or possibly bullet ants in the but, either way you should get it checked out.

>>42747865
"So, what's your deal man? I don't mean anythin', but you know, everybody's got reasons. Just coming and going like this, not really talkin to nobody puts folks off. I mean you've done real solid work so far and I ain't complaining. It's just between how the boss has been running things and trying to be a little more inclusive lately...why do you feel like you gotta stick it out on your own? Part of being in a gang is we got your back."

>>42748089
I understand that you are a very sad person but I felt I should point out that quest not mandatory and the word issues would tell most people it is a quest like story.

>>42747865

"So, uh, what do you get up to when you're not dressed like a sideshow and blowing our happy little burg to rubble?

>>42748089
Anon, you're better than this. Please stop. Just add the title to the filter. I know it's inconvenient, and I apologize.

>>42747865

"So, what's your deal man?" asks Knock. "I mean, I don't mean anythin' by it, but everybody's got reasons. Just coming and going like this an' not really talkin to nobody puts folks off.

I mean you've done real solid work so far and I ain't complaining. It's just between how the boss has been runnin' things and tryin' to be a little more inclusive lately... Why do you feel like you gotta stick it out on your own? Part of being in a gang is we got your back."

The man rolls his eyes. "Listen slick, I signed up because I needed somethin' to hold me over. Once I find what I'm lookin' for, I can blow this whole gig. Can't say I'm mucha one for this whole 'thug life' business."

They continue their drive, arriving in the industrial district. "Then what do you get up to whe you ain't dressed like a sideshow an' blowin' up the town for us?" asks Knock.

"Well, considerin' I'm an escaped convict, there ain't a whole lot for me to do, is there, Slick? Crash out back in the workshop an' work on stuff like that." He motions to the back of the car, where the supplies for the explosives are stored. "You all are always needin' somethin' blown up."

The pair arrive at the Novelty Factory, enter, and begin placing the explosives. Once Red confirms they are ready, the pair leaves, and heads off to set up the next batch at Scarface's docks- and set them off as a pair.

They get in the vehicle, and head off towards the docks.

>What should we talk about on the way?

>>42748391
>What should we talk about on the way?

"So, uh Red...why do you think we're here, anyway? Like on the planet and all."
Bonus points if Red gives a proper answer

>>42748391
"Got any plans once you get out? Beach in Haiti, little shop in Mexico or something?...Hey, you catch the game this weekend?"

>>42748391

"So Red," asks Knock, as the pair arrives at the dockyard. "Why do you think we're here, man? Like on the planet and all?" Red pulls his satchel of explosives from the back seat, and pulls out his gun.

"'S because somebody got screwed, kid. An' we're all here because somebody's laughin' at us."

The pair enter the warehouse, where a small group of men are standing guard. They catch them off guard, killing all bun one of them, and allowing the survivor to flee- straight back to Scarface. Red plants the bombs, and the two quickly leave again. Once they are a safe distance away, Red clicks a button on the remote, detonating both bombs simultaneously. Two columns of fire are seen on both sides of Gotham's skyline.

"So what've you got planned once you get out?" asks Knock on the way back.

"Think I'll just have a nice long nap, chief," he says. "Promise I'll make sure to go out with a bang though."

Sirens can be heard heading towards the bombs.


Elsewhere at the docks earlier in the evening, two suited gangsters, one male and one female, arrive on a ship. "You know, Dot. We've really got to do something about your eye- before it ends up becoming an issue," says the man.

"Hey Boss it's nothin. I can still see just as well as I always did. Eye's not real, ya know?" She smiles.

"Yeah, I know. I meant an eye that isn't broken and carving up your eye socket all the time," you say. Dottie pries open one of the crates, and you fish around in the straw inside. You draw out a large vase. The thing is hideous.

"Why, Boss? It doesn't hurt nothin'."

You sit the vase down, and feel around some more. Satisfied, the two of you go to the next crate.

"I'm just saying, Dot. We can get you a new eye. Unless there's some story or something there..." She shakes her head. "'S just the best one I could find that matched at the time. Never really thought about it after that."


>what ask

>>42748893
"Oh, well then I'll get a new one then, I'll be sure to make it match, I just don't you get hurt from something preventable, I gotta look out for you. . . I mean you guys I gotta take care of the crew as best I can."

File: eye.jpg (19 KB, 220x219)

19 KB JPG

>>42748893
What do you think of this dot? show her on our smartphone shaped like the joker.

>>42749032


Ugh, might as well have spaghetti falling out of your pockets.


"Hmm....we'll have to keep a look out for a trade-up then. No sense in any of us going to waste too soon, right?"

>>42748893
"At the time, huh..? Alright, so we'll get you a new one some time between now and the other thing."

>After we're back in the car.
"You up for being my campaign manager? Figured it'd come down to you, Holly or Dwayne. He's bad at spotlights, and I think you'd work better for that than Holly."

ITT: anon really wants to get with the hardmode waifu and has no idea how to.
It's simple, we get her to laugh. It's a start anyway.

>>42748893
rattle off some corny jokes in the meantime, gotta focus on work but that doesn't mean we can't.
"Alright, that everything?"
"No Dot, if I got out the bad material we'd both kill me on principle. I meant what we came for."

>>42748893

"Alright, so we'll be sure to get you one that matches," you say.


"I mean, I don't see the big deal," she continues. "I don't go in for shit like that, ya know? Dollin' up an' all that." She pulls a statuette from one of the crates. "The hell is this?" she asks, looking at the indescribable lump of fired clay.

"Dot I hardly think preventing half your face from rotting off counts as 'dolling up,'" you insist. You pile as many of the art pieces as possible into one of the smaller crates, and carry the whole mass to the car.

"Besides, I don't want any of us going to waste so soon."

"I dunno boss," she says, sitting in the driver's seat. "It'd be a damn bit more intimidating looking, wouldn't it?"

The two of you ride towards Two-Face's bar. The bookies should still be there. "By the way, Dot, how'd you like to be my campaign manager? Dwayne tends to get shaky in the spotlight."

She shrugs. "I dunno, what would I be doin'?"

"You know," you say. "Helping me come up with campaign slogans, helping set up speaking arrangements, coordinating things, killing anyone who gets to close..."

"That last one sounds good," she says, "but the rest of that sounds more like D to me. Or...Holly."

The two of you arrive. "Be right back," she says, leaving you in the car.

Dottie enters the bar alone; it is so late that the man at the door has left his post. She enters, and spots some men. She takes a seat at the bar next to one.

"Like to place a bet," she says, looking straight down at the table.

The man next to her looks around, the asks, "On who?"

She spins towards the man in her chair, bringing her knife down across the man's eye. The very tip of the blade catches in the bone of his skull and causes the blade to jump a bit, and a gaping gash is opened down his cheek.

She draws her gun and fires on two more of the men, hitting them in the stomachs and causing them to fall to the ground.

(Cont)

>>42748893
"I really think I'm losing my sense of scale here. A few months back, all these ancient necklaces, vases, chamber pots and backscratchers would have filled me with..not wonder, but some sort of feeling. Now I just look at them and think 'fuck 'em, they're dead, have been for centuries. I can go down to the Dollar Store and buy better ones.' that's not healthy, right? All this really does is make me think people will pay through the nose for something people died over."
"Really puts those Christmas tramplings in perspective though, maybe we oughta sell festive coffins in a couple months. Something with neon lights built in. 'Died doing what they loved' or 'A little later than expected'. Maybe a nice red fuzzy knock-off Elmo, for the kids you know?

>>42750212
>>42749928
I should update more often.

>>42749928
She stands snd leaves the groaning men- but not before stomping on the chest of one of them. A grotesque crunching noise can be heard, and bubbles of bloody spittle come from the man's mouth.

She returns to the car. "All done."

"Did you make sure they knew you were with Scarface?" you ask her.

"Left a note," she says.

Not long after, all three cars arrive at base At nearly the same time.

An unmarked truck is already waiting to receive the goods from the docks. As you and Dot unload the collection of junk, you think about the whole situation.

"You know, Dot. i really think I'm losing my sense of scale here. A few months back, all these ancient necklaces, vases, chamber pots and backscratchers would have filled me with... Well, probably not wonder, but some sort of feeling. Now I just look at them and think 'Fuck 'em, they're dead. Have been for centuries. I can go down to the Dollar Store and buy better ones.' I mean, that's not healthy, right? All this really does is make me think people will pay through the nose for something people died over."

"Nah, Boss. Totally healthy. I mean, look at this crap" Dottie holds up an ugly brown vase. "People probably never even saw what they were buyin'. Probably never gonna look at it at all. They just want it so other people won't have it.

Mosta this crap's modern too. Penguin probably had most of it bought from some rich boy beatnik type tryna make some statement about poverty by sculpin' something outta his own shit or somethin'" She puts the brown vase into the truck, thinks for a moment, then looks disgusted


"Really puts all those Christmas tramplings into perspective though. Maybe we oughta sell festive coffins in a couple months. Something with neon lights built in. 'Died doing what they loved' or 'A little later than expected'. Maybe a nice red fuzzy knock-off Elmo, for the kids you know?"

>>42750578
"Yeah, well, before you go all anti-consumerism, remember you still promised me an eye," she says, as she closes the van and gives the man the signal.

He drives off, and Dottie goes to wash her hands.

The next day, the other gangs are in chaos- Penguin, at least, pretends to be. It seems everyone hit everyone else last night according to eyewitnesses.

"And now, " you say, adjusting your green and purple suit and tie, "we address our public."

(Cont)

>>42740613
Just got here, ready to clown around

OP ded.

>>42751653
I bet the Bat got him.

>>42750597
Op you there?

Op died. Post clown porn.

And the best quest on /tg/ stalls for the first time. Hope its just a bad internet connection.

Anyone else still refreshing this thread every five minutes?

>>42754944
Eeyup.

>>42750597
Bump

>>42756298
just let it die, he's been gone for hours.

Holy shit guys I'm sorry. My internet went out last night. Where i'm located we can only get satellite right now, so every time it rains things fuck up.

I can't apologize enough. Writing.

>>42756316
>>42756322
Well fuck me I'm wrong.

>>42756322
Yay! You're back!

>>42756322
I'm just glad you came back. Keep the faith!

>>42756322
No worries, happens. Glad to see it wasn't anything worse then that.

>>42750597

Televisions flicker and go dark yet again. Gothamites on the streets stop in their tracks to watch televisions in department store windows, and families crowd near the televisions in their homes. By now, this has become routine to them- they may fear what they see, but it fascinates them all the same.
On screen, footage of of the Joker walking in a windy field plays. A voiceover plays over it.

"HONOR,"

The footage changes to the Joker sitting with a small "family," all in clown paint. He is wearing a purple cardigan, and the woman sitting next to him in an apron is wearing a bright yellow eyepatch. Two hulking "children" sit on the floor in front of the couple, both identical and wearing tiny beanies. They are all doing their best silent sitcom laugh. The voiceover continues.

"....DEVOTION."

A shot of the American flag. The camera pans to the Joker, saluting the flag. He is holding a handful of tiny american flags on sticks, and wearing a patterned suit, top hat, and sunglasses.

Fireworks fizzle behind him.


"....COURAGE.

A vote for the Joker is a vote against all these things. This November, vote Joker for Mayor..."

The words JOKER/DENT 2015 appear on screen.

"Joker: Because You Know What Happens If You Dont!"


There is a great deal of confusion in the streets that day. "Joker? For mayor?" The people wrack their brains over just what you could be planning- another bombing, perhaps? Gassing the debates?

Some people in the city joke amongst themselves that they might just vote for you. "We always vote crooks into office, don't we?" they tell themselves. "Always been best to keep them where we can see 'em. At least Joker ain't bought and paid for."

Then they laugh amongst themselves. And yet, privately, some of them wonder...

>>42756530
>Two hulking "children" sit on the floor in front of the couple, both identical and wearing tiny beanies.

God damn, that's both funny and adorable at the same time. That made my day.

>>42756530
I'd back him and his monstrous little family

>>42756530
You know what be fucked up? If we actually got elected and did a damned good job, by reducing poverty and homelessness, increasing job growth, raising the standards of inner city education, and lowering crime rates. It be the ultimate joke.

>>42756530

"Think we overdid it, Dot?" you ask, adjusting your suit again. "I really want the people to know where I stand on the issues..."

She lights another cigarette. "This is Gotham, Boss. You ARE the issue."

"Probably shoulda asked Two-Face before you announced him as runnin' mate, Boss. Especially after the attacks last night. City's buzzin' with how Two-Face bombed you an' Scarface last night," says Dwayne.

"Don't worry about it, D. 'Better to ask forgiveness' and all that. Besides, Maybe getting back into the public light will be good for him."

Despite your enthusiasm, Dwayne does not look convinced.

"How is the plan coming, anyway?" you ask Dwayne. "Knight Rider, has Penguin reached out to Scarface yet?"

Nightjar shakes her head. "You're really reaching now, aren't you? But yes, Mister Cobblepot got in touch with Scarface this morning, shortly after someone went to 'check in' on his merchandise. Wesker wasn't too forthcoming, but seemed rattled by something- I presume the attacks by Two-Face. We should have your photographs later tonight."

You nod. "Nightjar, do you think Penguin would want to donate to my campaign?" you ask.

She gives you a confused look. "I... Don't think so. Mister Cobblepot prefers to stay out of politics. Ever since his own mayoral bid..."

Your eyes light up. "I didn't know Penguin ran for mayor. Maybe I should call and ask for some tips?"

She looks like she might panic. "That... Is probably unwise. It's a bit of a sore spot. I think he'd rather put all that behind him now." She looks you in the eyes. "Don't bring it up to him. And for God's sake don't tell him I told you."

Dwayne interrupts. "I called up Two-Face a while ago. Told him we needed to talk about him attacking us last night. He seemed real curious about how he ended up runnin' for election too."

"See, D? He's excited."

"...I think he's pissed. Got the meeting set up for later. Same bar you and Penguin met at. This time we'll bring more guards."

(Cont)

>>42756767
We set up job and education programs, Joker's Clown College, a technical school where you can learn almost anything. Computer programing, computer hacking, locksmithing, lock picking. Basically the ultimate grey hat college.

>>42756821

Later that night, you arrive at the bar. Two-Face is already inside, sitting in the back room. Both you and Dwayne try to enter, but Two-Face stops you. "Just you, clown. This is just between you and me."

"Hardly seems fair," you say. "There's two of you." You hear him grit his teeth. "Think you're funny, clown?" he rasps.

Dwayne tries to protest, but you stop him. You enter the room and sit before Two-Face.

"Tell me what you're playin' at, Joker," he says with a sneer.

"I should ask you the same question. From what I hear you attacked both me and Scarface last night. Two simultaneous bombings, and people said they saw your boys at both scenes."

He hammers his fist against the table. "'Sall a frame-up! Probably that damn Black Mask."

"Figured as much," you say. "You aren't that Two-Faced, Harv."

He gives you a nasty look.

"An' whats all this about you runnin' for Mayor? Was a bold move for you to try to hitch me to your little scheme. Bold and stupid.

You tryin' to pin somethin' on me too?"

>what say?

>>42756946
Maybe, does it really matter? You would believe me, no matter what I told you.

>>42756946
"No, I'm not trying to pin amything on you, that wouldn't be very funny. What I am trying to do though is revolutionize thos city. I have a dream, Harv, a glorious view of the future. You're the most seasoned politician I know so I when I was struck by this vision I knew I needed you as my running mate. Don't tell pengy I told you, but the last time he was involved with politics things didn't go so well, but you? You're a previous district attorney you know the ins and the outs Harv."

>>42756946
Look, I want to change this town, make it better for people like you and me. Make it safer, maybe get a few of those kickbacks I've heard about. Basically, make this the cleanest, dirty city in this country!

>>42757080
Yesssss

>>42756946
"What's it matter, Harv? You wouldn't believe me, no matter what."

Another bang on the table.

"STOP CALLIN' ME THAT." Two-Face calms himself. "Clown, you oughta know that it ain't up to me." He rolls his coin between his fingers, and starts to flip it.

Before he can, though, you stop him.

"Har- Two-Face, listen. I'm not pinning anything on you. There's no joke in that. What I am trying to do, though, is revolutionize this city.

I have a dream, Two-Face. A glorious view of the future. I want to change this town, make it better for people like you and me. Make it safer, maybe get a few of those kickbacks I've heard about. Basically, make this the cleanest, dirty city in this country.

What could be funnier than that, Harvey? They spend years trying to stop us as this city rots from the inside out, and then we step into power and make it livable. A goddamn laugh riot right there, Harv. A joke for the ages."

You're the most seasoned politician I know. Even though we've had our differences, I knew I needed you as my running mate. And hey, don't tell Pengy I told you, but the last time he was involved with politics things didn't go so well. But you, Harv? You're a previous district attorney. You know the ins and the outs of things.

So what do you say, Two-Face? Partners?"

You offer him a hand.

He looks at you, unblinkingly. Utterly bewildered.

"You're damn near crazier than the old guy."

>roll 1d2

Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>42757228
heads

Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>42757228

>>42757261
Anon you are the winner! Way to go!

>>42757228

He catches the coin in the air, and slaps it to the back of his hand. "Heads," he says. "Good side wins."

"Right, " you day. "Good. Like I said, you and me can do right by this town, Harv. We can do what nobody else can: we already control the crime in this town. We can regulate it. Nobody gets hurt if they don't have to.

Just one big, well-oiled machine."

He stares at the coin, conflicted. "Good... Yeah..."

You smile to yourself. There is no room in Harvey's philosophy for shades of grey. Just "Good" and "Evil," "Yes" and "No." You just as easily could have argued that the whole plan is evil to convince him. Of all the people you've met in this town, at least you've met one who you can always count on- well, half the time anyway.


"So... When did you find out?" you ask him. He is still looking at the coin; inside, you can tell he is torn by the decision it made for him.

"Yer friend Wilson, 'course. Ran his damn mouth to half the town."

"Oh hell," you say. "Did.... You tell anyone? Like Scarface?"

"...No."

"Why not?" you ask. He looks at you, his burned, sneering face screwed up into a scowl.

"The hell do you think? I flipped a coin!" He sits back in his chair, and begins rolling the coin once again, thoughtfully. "'Sides, way I figure it, everybody's got good an' evil in 'em. Everybody's got two faces. Least I got the good grace to show you botha mine.

Alright Clown, listen. You got a deal. I'll be your runnin' mate. But you try to double cross me-" without looking, he flips the coin and catches it in the same hand "- an' I can't be held responsible for what happens."

>>42757580
Wouldn't have it any other way.

>>42757580
"Harvey, mind doing me a favour. When you flip a coin for me, make it a canadian loonie."

>>42757580
Well, our part's done for now. Time to go bother an ocularist about getting a new eye for Dot.

>>42757580

"Wouldn't have it any other way... pal," you say. The two of you shake on it, and depart.

When you leave the room, you find Dwayne chatting with one of Two-Face's men over a drink. When the two see you leave, they both down their drinks, say their goodbyes, and stand. On the ride home, you fill Dwayne in on the whole situation.

"Sounds like you got real lucky, Boss," he says. "Least we'll have a chance to give him those photos once Nightjar sends 'em over. Should drive a wedge between those two." "Yes," you agree, "but we still need to be cautious with Harvey. If he thinks we aren't on the level, then it's a toss-up for what he'll decide to do." You laugh to yourself. "Maybe we should get him a present, you know? To commemorate our partnership. How about a Canadian loonie?" Dwayne shakes his head. "Too damn many of those 'round here already."

"One more thing, D- I also promised Dot I'd get her a new eye. Her other one isn't lookin' so hot."

Dwayne holds his tongue. "Look, Boss- I'll see what I can do. Might talk to Nightjar about it. She might be able to get somebody Birdbrain knows to get her a nice one. Figure that's what you're after..."

The two of you finally arrive back at the base. Exhausted, you head back to your office and bedroom, already undoing your shirt as you ready yourself to fall straight into the bed.

Inside, however, you find you have a guest- Holly. Or rather, Prisilla. She came without her uniform.

She is sitting atop your desk, waiting for your.

"Were you serious?" she asks.

You are surprised. "Wait, Holly, what're you doing here this late? How'd you get back here?"

"Are. You. Serious. Boss," she replies, not a hint of humor in her voice. "About being the mayor."

>wat say

>>42757872

smile wide "Everyone knows politicians don't lie."

>>42757872
Yes, it'll be the biggest joke on Gotham. The Clown Prince of Crime becomes the Law. It'll drive Batman absolutely Batty!

>>42757872
>wat say
"What do you think? Yes, of course I am. I got a vision Holly, one to change this city."

"After all, all I want to do is make people smile."

>>42757872
Depends on what the people say I guess.
Can't do worse than the guys we've had at least. So, Six of one, half a dozen of the other. I guess, for the purposes of running for mayor, I'm very serious about running for Mayor. But I expect some laughs along the way.
Why?

>>42757872

You smile at her. "Everybody knows politicians don't lie," you say. "Depends on what the people say, I guess. Can't do worse than the guys we've had.

I'm serious about the running for mayor part. Helps me keep an eye on Two-Face. And I figure I might have a laugh or two on the way."

Her face is cold and serious. "So it's part of some plan, then?"

You laugh. "Imagine if I won! It'd be the biggest joke on Gotham. The Clown Prince of Crime becomes the Law! Can you imagine Batman's face?" You allow yourself to get serious for a moment. "All I want to do is make people smile. One way or the other, I have a vision for this city."

You shrug. "...But yeah, of course it's all a joke. You know as well as I do that I'm ineligible. Felonies and all that. I'm supposed to be arrested on sight."

She is quiet. "...And if I could make it happen?"

"Holly, what's this all about? Ever since the other night you've been on TV preaching about criminals-"

"Nobody in this town knows what they want, Boss. They want what they're told to. And up until now they've been told that the biggest thing they have to fear is you.

Think about it, Boss." She makes a wide gesture towards the room. "Gotham is like this funhouse. People like you roam around with your big costumes and laser beams, and everyone points at you and tells the people that you're the monster. They build people like you up so they have something to knock back down. They can't fight the real corruption, so they create a problem they can fight. Because THEY are the real problem. Not you."

"I don't understand Holly. What's all this have to do with me being the Mayor?"

"Because, Boss. They love you. Oh, they're afraid of you, but they secretly adore you. All of you. You're like.... gods to them, you know? My point is, Boss, that you're someone the people can trust. They know what they're getting with you- and if they vote for you, they can can always pretend that it was out of fear of what you'd do to them."

(Cont

>>42758308

"A vote for you is a vote against Gotham's real criminals," she finishes.

"Didn't Penguin run once though? And lose?"

She shrugs. "Yes, but... Well, if your campaign platform is focused on the kidnapping and execution of all of the city's firstborn children, people are going to take issue with that.

So... You know, don't do that."


"Holly... Holly this is crazy," you protest. She stands, and takes you by the shoulders, pointing you towards the nearby mirror. Inside, you see the face of a grinning, wild-haired clown.

"Have you looked in the mirror lately, Boss?" She whispers into your ear. "Crazy is what you do."

>wat do

>>42758379
LAUGH

>>42758379

"So I'm guessing I will need a campaign manager then. You up for it?"

So...I'll just make a little note here.

If this shit works, if we pull this off? We'll have some legit pull on our side, for when the real Missa J rolls back into town.

I say we go for it. The Crazy Crime Clown goes legit.

Ish.

>>42758379
>Laugh
I'll think about it.

>>42758424
We've Dot for that, Holly is better behind a news desk and Dot can bodyguard in a pinch.

its amazing because if you look at it though batman perspective all this crazy stuff is just like the comics or series.
10/10 amazing job GothamQM

holy shit what is happening.

were running for mayor and like half the city wants us dead

>>42758639
If lex luthor can run for president then why can't we run for mayor?

>>42758696
Well if the other half wants us as mayor...

>>42758379
I feel like we shouldn't offer Holly the campaign manager job.
We already offered it to Dot and she seemed down. Besides, would be a conflict of interest for Cris.

>>42758989

I can understand that but she has a lot of experience that can be helpful here and there are a lot of things that are going to need to be done in the course of the campaign

>>42758989
Yeah, and we need her siring up the populace without it looking like she's on our payroll.

>>42758379

You laugh madly. Maybe it's all just getting be too much for you.

"You know..." she says. "By doing this, I'm putting my career at risk. We have to do this properly or it will all be a waste."

"And I suppose you've got your eyes on being my campaign manager?" you ask. She puts her arms around you. "Oh, no. I prefer to stay a bit further away... I can do much more for you that way."

You think for a moment. "Holly... If we're able to pull this off somehow, and the real Joker returns..." "...If the OTHER Joker returns," she says. "If you pull this off, who will he be to try to take your title? And who would argue with the man who owns the city?"

Could it be? Could you have finally found a way to protect yourself from the Joker? By doing something he never could?


"...Yeah, Holly..." you say into the mirror, the woman still clinging to you from behind. You see her smile. "Yeah... I think this might work out."
Elsewhere in the city, Jim Gordon sits behind his desk, looking out his window. He rubs his eyes and takes a gulp of his coffee. It's been a long day.

He senses someone in the room. "Find out anything about Carter?" he asks.

A deep voice from the darkness answers back. "Even the real Joker never made moves as public as this. The power might be going to his head. Making him act irresponsibly. Or else he's scared by the gang war and trying to make himself look tougher than he is to the others."

"What do you think he's planning?" asks Jim. "I can't be sure," the voice responds. "Double up the guards on the candidates. Move any of the debates somewhere safer if you need to. And keep an eye on the ballot boxes next month. He might be planning another distraction."

"And what about the gangs?" he asks.

(cont)

>>42758424
NOOOOOO. We need her where she can do her best work, behind the news desk. Otherwise it'll antagonize Dot and the others to see her working so closely with us.

>>42759047

"Someone is trying to set all the gangs against each other. There were attacks against each of them at the same time last night, all by different gangs. My contact says Scarface's gang wasn't responsible for the murders of Two-Face's bookies. I'm willing to bet the other attacks were fakes as well."

"But who?" asks Jim.

"I can't be sure yet, but I think it has something to do with the gassing and the attack on Cris's benefit. Someone is throwing everything they can at the city. They're trying to wear us down. When I find something else I'll let you know."

Gordon sighs. "I'll look into Carter some more, I guess. See if we can find anything new. Must have been over the damn files a thousand times by now."

"Just keep it quiet," says the voice. "If anyone finds out the truth about who he is, they'll all eat him alive."

"Starting to sound real tempting..." says Gordon.

Silence.

He doesn't bother to turn around. He knows the man in the dark is already gone.

>>42759181
Bats cares for our well being?

>>42759181
>If anyone finds out the truth about who he is, they'll all eat him alive.
ah one of the worst kept secrets of gotham

>>42759222
Bats would slap the gun out of GI's hand if they were aiming it at Hitler.

Just remember. Everyone's crazy. It's all down to the degrees and now you cope.

His thing is killing. Can't stand it. Not ever.

>>42759323
*out of a GI's

BLaaaaaah

Welp, we oughta think this over a bit. Is it just me or is Holly being odd? We should talk to her about stuff. I get that we saved her, but man.

>>42759181

The next morning you wake up feeling like you'd stolen a million dollars.

Two-Face is in your pocket, Penguin has Scarface in his, and Penguin is an ally of yours. Nobody except Black Mask moves without you knowing. Well, besides your mysterious enemy...

"Morning, guys," you say as you cheerfully enter the main room. "How're things going? You guys get Holly out alright?" Dot is standing over the twins, who are stamping campaign buttons with a small device in the floor. She looks at you warily "...I didn't know Holly was here at all. Haven't seen her." "Anyway, Boss, we got a visitor..." says Dwayne, motioning towards the table. There sits Two-Face, idly rolling his coin.

"If you're wantin' to do this, we gotta do it right, clown. No slackin'. I know what it takes to get elected. Ain't no joke."

You hear someone walking down the stairs. "Joker, I've got some news from Penguin, and-" Nightjar catches sight of Two-Face's scarred, leering face. "-...oh sweet jesus."


"Two-Face, Nightjar- you two have met," you say, trying to diffuse the situation. "She's our double agent with Penguin. I wanted to keep an eye on him when we teamed up= and since he's attacked us, I guess I was right not to trust him."

She catches on quickly.

"I think you'll want to see these first, then, Mister Dent." She hands him a cheap camera, and he scrolls through the photos on the screen. Scarface, Wesker, and Penguin, all sitting at a table.

"Looks like Pinocchio found his way to Monstro," you say. Harvey gives you a strange look. 'You know... Monstro. Whale. It's a fat joke," you try to explain. It falls flat.

"Looks like everybody's been workin' everybody over," he hisses. "Except you, Harv," you say. "Guess you were right about everybody having two faces after all."


"Yeah, whatever clown," he says. "Let's get this show on the road. What've you got in mind?"

>Lets pitch our idea to Harv.
>We planned for a spookshow down in Crime Alley- how are we going to manage that?

>>42759660
Why not both?
Also, I figure hitting the campaign trail is in order. This whole election will be about as legit as we can make it. I've got rather little experience with politics though, so any ideas are welcome.
We'll muscle up on the Blockhead for his betrayal somewhere in here.
But not at the expense of the election Harv, after all, the bird brain is working me over too.
And it'll be easier to come at him legally from what Nightjar's told me.
So that's the way we play it.

>>42759660
Still, I wouldn't wind up too worried if some front runners took a dive some how. But they'll cross that bridge when they get there.

>>42740613

Did anybody else read those baman miniatures game rules? There's some names and stuff qm hasn't told us yet.

I don't know much about he game, but here's a few things I noticed

>Name Dorothy Valez
>Alias Dottie
>One-Eyefu
>If this Character Activates within 10cm of a Friendly Joker (Midnight in Gotham), Assign one AC.


>Name Isaac Melvin
>Alias Knock

>Holly
>Paranoid (Mental Disorder)
>At Raise the Plan Phase if this character has at least one Damage of any kind, they Allocate one additional AC.

>Name Guy Tepper
>Alias Red
>Aversion to: Holly
>This Character cannot be in the same Crew as Holly.

>Name Sabrina Vogel
>Alias Nightjar

>Name Natalia Knight
>Alias Nocturna
>Control Pheromones (3 SC)
>Target a Seen Enemy Character within 10cm, the Target suffers the Effect Hypnotized.


Who is Nocturna?

>>42759660
>Move on to explain the plans for Crime Alley.
I figure it's not the worst thing we could do, even the folks down there need some break in all the crazy, kids especially. Between you and me, who'd be crazy enough to move against us?

>>42759660
Maybe we should meet with our constitutes?

>>42759829
Seconding

>>42760079
>Know nothing about the game.
>Still think Dottie having One-Eyefu on her list is hilarious.
What's an AC?

Also QM could totally use the Absence. She dated people besides Wayne at some point right? And sometimes rich girls go slumming.

>>42760079
>>42760601
Dottie is our wEYEfu this is anything now we can not get off this train.

>>42759660

"I had a little idea for something to celebrate our candidacy- I've already had my men get started on it. This Friday night, we'll be converting the entirety of Crime Alley into a Halloween show. The entire street. Nobody down that way will dare make a move against me.

The way I figure it, we can bring my own little brand of crazy to those people, and give them a break from the normal kind. Whole thing will be totally on the level, of course. And if anybody tries anything, we kill 'em. For one night, Crime Alley isn't a shithole."

"Yeah, alright. Real cute. An' what are you plannin' to actually win this thing? Ya can't just pull a buncha stunts and hope people are stupid enough to vote for ya," he says.

"Well..." you say. "That's kinda my thing. I guess we should start campaigning? Meeting the constituents?"

"Ya need ads, clown. Saturation. That's the key. Ya gotta make sure they recognize you. And barrin' that, you gotta make sure the other guy looks worse."

"People knowing you ain't a problem," says Dot. "Lotta people probably at least know somebody you killed."

Two-Face looks at you. "...Alright, so we make the other guys look worse. People got real short memories. You done enough that it should all blur together. Some squeaky clean politician gets his dirty laundry out, though..."

"I could just ice 'em for ya, you know," suggests Dottie. You shake your head. "I'd rather do this legitimately. Gives them less ammunition to use against me."

"Exactly," says Harvey. "This is America. People love a maverick, but they love a scandal more. You give 'em a chance and they'll ruin you." He leans back in his chair. "...I speak from experience."

"And what about Wesker?" suggests Nightjar. "I'm sure both of you would like to get your hands on him."

"Not at the expense of the election. He and Penguin can keep each other busy for a while. And should it come to it, we can always take out Penguin legally."

>>42760601

AC is an action counter. Sort of like how in vidya strategy games units can have AP. So when she's near you she gets to move or attack more.

Pretty sure that's a renamed skill of Harley's though. Harley has a skill called "Daddy's Girl" that does the same thing.

Condiment King, Killer Moth, and Orca are also in there and look kinda badass. It's a shame that QM is probably the only one who ever considered those characters.

>>42760677
Soi we start selling "Vote for Joker" shirts, print up some ads, buy some billboard space.

Make the billboards and the shirts look like they were vandalized. Spray painted with "Vote for Joker" or "Gotham's lost its smile, I want to bring it back"

Also stay printing posters and leaflets that we can just have people give out at corners.

>>42740613
Am I dumb or is there something wrong with your twitter?

>>42760923
It's probably just twitter. I had to go to his page and back to mine before the link showed up in my list.

>>42760856
>A vote for Joker is a vote for Smiles and Laughter!

>Vote Mr. J and Smile all day!

>If you've gotten tired of the old clowns in office put a new one in! Vote Joker and smile.

>>42760677

You begin your campaign. Posters, buttons, and signs are distributed all over the city by your gangs.

"Why not take a gamble with Two-Face? JOKER/DENT 2016," "JOKER/DENT 2016- Because you know elections are a joke!" and all manner of other slogans soon cover the town. Many people wear the badges out of sheer irony- not giving much thought to the memory of the bow-ties that could have blown their children's heads off. Periodically your pirate antenna transmits your political ads onto Gotham's televisions - particularly on the local network when opposing politicians are running.

Red and company are hard at work up in the park, constructing the components for your Halloween celebration. "Kid, do ya know how mucha this shit I gotta make?" he tells you, as he leads you through the work area. "I got all these boys tryna build a whole set off-site, AND ya want it to fit an entire street, AND ya want it in just a couple days. Shoulda just killed me instead." Despite his complaints, however, things are pulling together quickly- due in no small part to a small number of unmarked trucks that appear at the loading dock sporadically with a load of surplus props from the television station.

Later that day, the phone rings. Dottie answers it, nodding and talking quietly into the receiver. She hangs up, and turns to you. "Ya got an appointment later, Boss. News station wants ya on TV. Told me to make sure ya didn't just hack their transmission again- they want you in person."


You, your running-mate, and your campaign manager all get dressed, and drive down to the station. When you arrive, the people bustling in the newsroom give you all wide berth, save for a shuddering young man- likely an intern- who received the dubious honor of being your guide. "Y...you're wanted on set soon, Mr. Joker, Mr.Dent." He leads you to the set of the evening news, where your old friends Steve Harvo and Patricia Scott sit behind a large rounded table, eyeing you warily.

>>42761128
Beside them sits Priscilla Cris, who gives you warm, practiced smile, An older gentleman sits next to you. "Can I, uh.... get you anything before you go on?" asks the boy hastily as he tries to leave.

Dottie catches him by the collar. "Hang on. I'll think of somethin'"

The Joker and Two-Face walk on set and sit down, as the news begins...

"Good Evening, Gotham. I'm Steve Harvo-"

"-And I'm Patricia Scott."

"Tonight, we address the topic on all of Gotham's minds- The Joker and Two-Face's political ambitions."

"That's right, Steve. And to do that, we have some very special guests here with us tonight. We have our own Priscilla Cris and political analyst Richard Parson... As well as Two-Face and the Joker themselves."

The camera pans to both of you. You try to smile into the camera. It is a surreal experience.

For as much as these people all fear you, the sheer novelty of having you on their network, and the ratings it can provide, makes them uncharacteristically brave. No matter what happens, they'll be able to talk about this for years- they'll be the people who interviewed the Joker AND Two-Face.

"First of all, we'd like to thank you both for coming on the show tonight."

"...uh," you try to start.

"Alright Joker, first thing's first," says Patricia. "Just what made you decide to run for office?"


>wat do?

>>42761257
For asking so politely we'll not report you like the others who harass us. And yes it is a quest. You should read the logs its been a good one.

>>42761398
Well, Miss Chris, I'm tired of my city living in fear. Fear of corruption, fear of unemployment, fear of just being plain sad! I just want to give back to Gotham and let the people have just as much fun as I do everyday here!

>>42761398
"Well we've all seen it, this town has gone crazy. The other night I saved a whole mess of people from bats and a couple of crooks and a couple crooks at that.
And that got me thinking, it seems you can't count on anyone anymore. But Gotham has always been able to count on me. This city needs protection, protection I can provide. And worse comes to worst we can all have a few well earned laughs at the freakshow that comes through about this tine every year.
I guess, more than anything, I just want to see the people here smiling again. That's not so bad right?"

>>42761398
>"Just what made you decide to run for office?"
mainly the criminal mismanagement of the city.
I look at the city with its payed off politicians who use people like myself and Mr Dent to distract from the cities real issues
An insane asylum that might as well have a revolving door so that the above politicians can keep campaigning for funds to combat the menace that they created.
A masked vigilante that seems to suffer from some kind of hero complex but does little to actually address the cities real issues.
and what are these real issues the cities face, the long term recession the city finds itself in for one, and (more issues should go here)
and i looked to all these facts and thought to myself they run this city like its some kind of joke, and i can do better, Gotham deserves a smile on its face

>>42761512
Maybe add to this.

"I want the people of my city to smile, and the fake ones either. The smiles where you laugh so much you start to cry tears of joy!

>>42761398
I want to make this city safer, not just for the average citizen, but the thugs and homeless on the streets. I hope to get those who feel lost and aimless, the opportunity become better, to wake up in the morning with a smile on their face and to laugh at what their life once was.

>>42761398
"Well for longest time no, as far as I can recall anyhow, Goth am has stayed the same unchanging thing. We elect the same politicians year in and year out, and they always promise two things hope, and change, but nothing ever changes and there is never anu hope. I'm not promising either of those intangible things. You see over the years that I've been in our lovely city I've only ever done one thing really well. I'm an agent of choas, I shake things up and flip them topsy turvy. It's the one thing that I truly enjoy. Why not vote for an actual clown this year? I can't be any worse than the other corrupt politicians here, and at least you'll know I'm not in it for the money, I've never liked money too much. What I do like are laughs and smiles. So Gotham do you want to help me throw the ultimate prank? The least I can promise you is that it'll be fun. And if there is one thing I know it's that this city is in desperate need of it's fun. Now I'm not politically savy, mind you, but that's why I approached Mr. Dent here to be my running mate, he has the experience and moral fiber to help navigate these uncharted waters."

We should also mention our fun house as a fund raiser, and some of our plans. Focusing on rehabilitation of criminals instead of just punishing them. A works program to repairvthe cities failing infrastructure and to create jobs, and are corprate tax on all corperations that don't hire local labor and produce locally.

>>42761398
Can we add in some sob story about when we were a little girl?
When I was a little girl, I would see my daddy, head out into the streets of gotham with a smile on his face. And well, one day he came back without his smile, and that was the first day daddy killed someone. Daddy was robbing them outsude a theater, to get money for food, but they wouldn't help him, they fought him. Maybe, if thing in this city were different, my daddy would still have his smile.

>>42761781
We should also through in our stance on education. "learning should be fun. We need to move away from standardized testing, that'll just keep us on the same path, we need more and better paid teachers, our inner city schools need to be renovated, and modernized. School was never a fun experience growing up it was to monotonous. Smaller class sizes and more teachers, with modern and exciting methods of teaching, interactive learning needs to take precedence over tests."

>>42761398
If theu ask us if this is a joke or if we're seriously running we should answer like this. "I'm always deadly serious when it comes to jokes. So I'm serioisly running even if it is a joke to the rest of you. I'd have achieved my goal of getting some laughs, but I would like to win, in fact I have a few plans in case I do win that'll really spice things up around here!" that'll get the cops scratching their heads. Then will dive into our stance on things, by going completely populist.

>>42761398

"Miss Scott, I'm just tired of my city living in fear."

Parsons jumps in. "Yes, but it's YOU they're living in fear of!"

"No," you say. "They're living in fear of corruption. Fear of unemployment. Fear of just plain... being sad! I just want to give back to Gotham and let the people have just as much fun as I do every day."

"Miss Scott and myself were on the end of one of your schemes ourselves, you know. You had us kidnapped, in addition to a number of the actresses from the station here," says Steve.

"Yes, but you all go away unharmed, didn't you? But look at the rest of this city. We've all seen it; it's gone crazy- and I should know. The other night I saved a whole mess of people- including Miss Cris here- from bats and a couple of crooks. ME. The Joker, stepping in to save people."

"It's a matter of convenience," scoffs Parsons. "You think that just because your crime ran afoul of someone else's that we'll all forget what you've been doing to this city for years!"

"Now hold on!" says Priscilla. "That's easy for someone who wasn't there to say. And you've always been always been in City Hall's corner, haven't you Richard? How else did you find your way onto Grange's advisory board?"

The man turns to her angrily. "I HARDLY think that's relevant. I'm not trying to dismiss your experience, Priscilla, but it's ovious you've undergone some kind of mental shock..."

"Please, PLEASE," you say. "For longest time , for as long as I can recall, Gotham has stayed the same. We elect the same politicians year in and year out, and they always promise the same two things: hope, and change. "

(cont)

>>42762353
And nothing ever changes, and there is never any hope. I'm not promising either of those things. Over the years that I've been in our lovely city, I've only ever done one thing really well. I shake things up. If the game is unwinnable, I flip the board. It's the one thing that I truly enjoy. Why not vote for a different kind of clown this year? I can't be any worse than the otherpoliticians here. At least you'll know I'm not in it for the money- I've never liked money too much, and if I wanted it, I'd just take it!

One thing I do like, thouh, are laughs and smiles. Now let me ask you, Gotham: do you want to help me throw the ultimate prank? The least I can promise you is that it'll be fun. And if there is one thing I know it's that this city is in desperate need of, it's fun. Now I'm not politically savy, mind you, but that's why I approached Mr. Dent here to be my running mate. He has the experience and moral fiber to help navigate these uncharted waters. And he's got all the change you could want- about a half-dollar worth. Isn't that right, Harvey?" You smile at your scowling companion.

"So that's what this is, Joker? Just a joke?" asks Parsons angrily.

"Look at the city, Richard, with its payed off politicians. They use people like myself and Mr. Dent to distract from the real issues. They've set up an insane asylum that might as well have a revolving door so that those same politicians can keep campaigning for funds to combat the menace that they created.

The city practically sanctions a masked vigilante with somee kind of hero complex, but does little to actually address this city's real issues.

We are in the midst of a long term recession. Crime runs rampant. People are afraid to leave their houses, and most of the city has been bought and paid for.

I looked to all this, and I thought to myself- these people run this city like its some kind of joke, and I'm not laughing. I can do better, and hey, Gotham deserves a smile ." You smile.

(cont)

>>42762409
Damn

At this point I might vote for him

>>42762409

"I want to make this city safer, Richard. And not just for the average citizen. I want the thugs, the poor, and homeless on the streets to feel safe too. I hope to give those who feel lost and aimless the opportunity to wake up in the morning with a smile on their faces.

And worse comes to worst we can all have a few well-earned laughs at the freakshow that comes through about this tine every year."


Holly gives you a barely-perceptible smile. You did it.

"Well said, Mister Joker. Well said," smiles Patricia Scott. "Now boys, next question. Gotham simply must know- boxers, or briefs?"

(cont)

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222 KB JPG

>>42762839

About an hour later, the two of you step off the stage. Dottie is sitting just off set, a small table set up next to her will a bowl of M&M's sitting on it- they're all green.

"You guys done so soon?" she says disappointedly. "Me an' the kid been bondin.' It took him this long to sort all these out. Sent him uptown to pick up somethin' fancy for dinner. Ah well," she shrugs. "How'd it go?"

"It couldn't have gone better," says another voice. It is Priscilla. She shakes your hand. "Mister Joker, we met at the benefit the other night. I can't tell you how excited I am to hear about your candidacy." She looks you dead in the eye, leaving the truth behind her words unsaid.

"I'm so glad we finally have a candidate willing to tackle the REAL issues," she says, as her eyes say, "You did well. Keep it up."

"I may have spoken out against you before, but right now, I think you're just what this town needs," and from her eyes you read, "You gave them material. Now I'll keep you in the news."

"I can assure, Mister Joker, that you can count on my vote!" she smiles, and you understand her unspoken words- "I can handle things here now."


She breaks from you, and turns to Harvey. "And Mister Dent!" she says. "I'm so glad to have you on the show. I remember your previous campaigns. You were one of the best D.A.s this city ever had."

"Yeah, an' I remember people like you circlin' like vultures when things went south fer me," he spits.

"I can assure you, sir," she says with a smile. "I'm not like them."

>>42762839
Boxers. What self respecting clown would wear anything but?

>>42762839
>"Now boys, next question. Gotham simply must know- boxers, or briefs?"

"This ones all yours, Harvey."

>>42762875
>Get some M&Ms and chill out.
It'll be fine Two-Face, the other candidates will be so worried about shooting us down that their campaigns won't even get off the ground.

>>42762876
Boxers with heart shapes.

Joker classics. You don't go up against the bat wearing anything else underneath.

>>42762875

You and Dottie leave, arriving back at the park later that evening. Two-Face left the studio with his own men.

The two of you head inside, and your gang applauds you as you enter.

"Ya did good, Boss," says Dwayne, slapping you on the back. "Damn good. I almost bought it."

"I wouldn't count on anyone else falling for it though," says Nightjar. "Still, it was good T.V. Mister Dent nearly shot the Scott woman over that underwear thing."

"Couldn't get to his coin," you say. "Good thing, too. He'd have thrown the whole campaign."

"You guys are gonna have a rough couple days," says Dwayne. "Your little Halloween party's coming up." You nod in agreement. "I'm gonna crash for the night then, guys."

You walk back to your room, stepping into the dark and closing the door behind you.

You hear a voice in the darkness. "You did well tonight. Very well."


You click on the light in a panic.

It's Holly. She is wearing her makeup.

"...Holly? How did you get in here? Why were sitting in the dark? Hell Holly, we didn't leave you that long ago. How'd you beat us back...?"

She puts a finger to your lips.

"Shh....." she shushes you.


>wat do

>>42764040
No. Get out. Pie to the face.

>>42764040
Nopenopenopenopenopenope

FLEE

>>42764040

Okay but seriously, Clayface?

god damn it captcha PIZZA IS NOT A PIE

>>42764040

"CLAYFACE!"

Please tell us we have a pie this time.

Heh heh, Pieface.

>>42764040
Flee out the door.
Go sleep in the bathtub if its actually real.

>>42764120
>>42764137

Don't think clayface has ever saw Holly.

>>42764080
THIS. PANIC PIE

>>42764040
Nope.
Karlo's still on the loose among other things.
"Sorry, you're going to have to explain this one."
Anything seem off about her appearance? Skin tone? Voice? Mannerisms?

>>42764196

Nigga could have been any random mook in the hideout, with plenty of opportunities to see Holly.

PIE GODDAMNIT!

>>42764198
This. "Sorry can't be too careful. Playdoboys out and about. Whats the password." there is no password.

Option 1: Clayface
Option 2: Nocturna
Option 3: Dot under the impression we find Holly attractive, and using a different identity closer to who she wishes she was to express herself. Liberty in anonymity and all that.
Option 4: Holly
All options in order of most to least likely.

>>42764040

You take her by the arms and hold her back.

"No, Holly. You're going to have to explain this one."

She looks surprised.

"I had my people bring me by. We left not long after you did. They're parked in the loading dock. And I came in through the back exit, like always," she says.

"...What exit?" you ask. She shows you- a sliding panel behind the wardrobe.

"I thought you knew- the Old Boss never would have allowed himself to be trapped in a room like this."

"Holly, this doesn't add up. You've been sneaking in and out of here without letting anyone else see you, then sitting in the dark waiting for me- why? Especially with Karlo still out there..."


She takes your makeup cloth from the dresser, and wipes her face. A ragged streak of the flesh is exposed across her face- you recognize Priscilla beneath the makeup.

"...Would Karlo know this, Boss?" She gives you a smile. "I just... Thought we could spend some time together..."

>wat do

>>42764806
Pie her

>>42764806
"Pie" her

PIE TO THE FACE, DAMMIT

>>42764806
What's your deal lately? I thought we covered that I thought we should keep this professional given the circumstances. Is this because of the Man-bats?

>>42764806
Pie to the face.

>>42764806
>Laugh
You're still on about that? After everything?
>Continued laughter

>>42764806
does anybody get the feeling there's something really wrong with Holly? this is getting weird.

>>42764806
>wat do
i just feel that if we do pie her, its going to have long term negative consequences, might be best to just humor her for the moment so she thinks we are under her thumb

>>42765220
Ya think?

personally i think she kind of snapped when the man-bats threatened to kill her and she has responded by latching onto the one who saved her. Which is us. The best we can do is either talk her down or leave the room.

And in future, damn well check our escape routes.

>>42765276
Define "pie" in this context pls

>>42764806
>Walk out
>Laugh
>Tell the gang we're taking the night off
>If she follows
>Laugh
>Shake our head in disbelief and walk out.

>>42765325
honestly, both
if we pie in face then i feel she will be more than pissed with us and her situation in general, with her lose of control of things and her lose of control over us
if we pie in the sheets then we are letting her think she has control over us and honestly we know manipulative she is

i really think the best path might just be to spend time with her and talk or something, its how i read the situation

Sit and talk. Don't do shit under the sheets, don't pie her.

>>42765553

Yeah seconding this, we do have psych training

>>42765553
This, we should put our psychology major work for us.

>>42765553
Fine fine, I'll agree to this.

>>42765553
I'd like to use our skills, not our crazy

>>42764806

"...Holly, what's up with you recently? You used to never show up at all, and now you're practically here every night. You've gone on television defending the Joker for God's sake. You've always been in control, Holly.

It's not like you to act like this."

She stiffens. "Maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do, then."

"I think I know you well enough to recognize that you're acting strange."

You sit down on the bed. Like always, she tries to sit as close to you as possible.

"Holly, let's be honest. You've been trying to play me since we first met. You dolled yourself up and acted like a horny schoolgirl while you had your men working behind my back- and it was all so you could get me under your thumb.

Now you're sneaking around my room at night and latching onto me whenever you get half a chance. Is this some new game for you or something? Did you just decide to play me a different way?"

As you talk, you work yourself into a fit of quiet anger. She slinks back from you, your words cutting into her like knives.

She looks hurt. Her eyes begin tearing up. "I... I'm sorry... I never..."

"Save it, Holly," you snap. "I'm tired of your crocodile tears."

...But as you look at her face, with her smeared makeup and sad, terrified eyes, you realize that you made a mistake. At least this time, she was being genuine.

You let yourself soften. "Look at yourself, Holly. You're a mess. This isn't like you."

"I can fix it!" She says in a panic. "Just give me a minute. I can clean it up!"

"...That isn't what I meant. I want you to tell me just what the hell is wrong with you recently. Ever since the thing at the benefit you've been a wreck."

(Cont)

>QM note: sorry it's taking so long. I had to step out for a bit. I'm phoneposting

>>42765972
It's ok. You are still doing good work

>>42765972
It's cool.

>>42765972
It's fine. You're fine.
Just don't forget to smile.

>>42765938

She looks hurt and ashamed. "...I just..."

She composes herself. She smiles the same sultry smile you'd seen all those times before, and stretches, pushing her breasts forward and falling backwards onto the bed. If it weren't for her smeared and tear-stained makeup she'd seem like the same Holly you'd always known.

"I just thought we could get this town under control... Together."

She pats the bed beside her.

"Not tonight, Holly. I've got a campaign to run- and you've got a show tomorrow morning."

She pouts, and hops to her feet. "Well... If you change your mind," she says as she slides open the secret exit, "you know where to find me..."

Holly leaves you alone in your room.

>>42765938
>>42766362

this bitch is a loonie holy shit

>>42766388
Dude...
All of the wimmenz here are loony
Thats why we have clown make-up

>>42766431
Coal?

>>42766496
Has fun making Bioweapons.

>>42766362

She went from tears to titties in fucking seconds. That screams manipulation.

>>42766496
Still a loon.

>>42766496

Literally a murderer. The answer is always Nightjar.

Vote Nightjar for waifu.

>>42766525

Honestly she might not clearly remember how to have a healthy interaction with someone at this point

>>42766525
That or going full defensive. Which makes some sense

>>42766525

I think the titties might be the manipulation part. The tears seem legit.

>>42766544
Nightjar is penguins girl, no doing. Dottie is the least crazy.

>>42766362
Go get a drink. Come back, scrub the make-up off, light up a smoke, put on some music. Try to forget that happened.
Fail, have genuine human concern for Holly.
Move on, show time is fast approaching.

>>42766591
>Dottie is the least crazy.
>Dottie, the girl from Arkham
>Dottie, the girl whose been wearing a broken glass eye until her eye hole for infected
>Dottie, the girl who LITERALLY KILLS PEOPLE WHEN THINGS GO WELL IN HER LIFE

smh fam tmh

>nightjar is penguin's girl
Imagine marrying into his gang to combine them. It's perfect

>>42766638
Sounds like she would be enamored with an abusive relationship.

>>42766638
Somehow I feel like he'd take offense to us insisting he be the flower girl.

>>42766665
Dottie or Nightjar?

>>42766680
Please, he'd obviously be the ring coushin.

He'd probably be all for it as long as there's cake

>>42766700
Probably means Dottie, but I'd really rather not. From the looks of her chart she's likely had more than enough of those.
They probably all ended in murder.

>>42766638
Nah, our choice of girls seem roughly equally bonkers.
Holly is a manipulator extraordinaire
Coal's an amoral mad scientist
Dottie is ultraviolent

>>42766969

N I G H T J A R
I
G
H
T
J
A
R

>>42767113
Nightjar is all about the cash man, we know OOC that that's not entirely the case but in character she just looks like a particularly adept gold-digger turned up to 12 with the knob ripped off.
Delicious brown or no.

>>42767195
Dottie also has the Delicious brown, and is loyal.

>>42767255

yes but from the game notes Nightjar sounds like a jewish princess

>>42767255
Also little in the way of emotions. Which as an anon pointed out earlier isn't insurmountable and if she fell for Brock would probably make Harley look tame by comparison.
Is that a good idea though?
I mean I'm not necessarily pro-Holly, but manipulative doesn't mean disloyal as a matter of course.

>>42767308
Having gone that way a couple times...no.

>>42767383
Yeah but I'd rather be with someone who isn't manipulative. Plus even if she is loyal her manipulations may come and bite us in the ass.

Jesus, has OP been posting for a full 24 hours?

>>42767563
Op is a champ.

>>42766362

You clean yourself up and try to relax. It seems like the city is falling right into the palm of your hand... But something's wrong. You think back to all the faces you've seen of Holly- and how easily she changes between them. Which of those faces is the real Priscilla? Does she even know anymore?

You find yourself unable to sleep soundly, instead tossing and turning all night.


The main room is as it always is so near a big show- buzzing with activity, as your crew puts the final touches on things.

Nightjar is waiting for you, looking grave.

"What's the matter?" you ask. "Somebody rattle your cage?"

"Yes," she says matter-of-factly. "And they might just bring down your house next.

Harvey made a move on Scarface last night. I'm assuming without you knowing? Now Wesker's convinced Penguin is betraying him."

"Well... I mean, he's not wrong," says Dottie, pinning together a few Halloween decorations.

"That may be, but it puts us all in an awkward position. He's acting more erratically than usual, and he's likely to take it out on your campaign. Which will get Harvey out from under your thumb, and set off this whole war again.

With that in mind, Mister Cobblepot offers a solution- we kidnap Scarface, and take him out of the equation. Dent never has to know."

>wat do

>>42767674
I say we kidnap the little fuck, "force" Penguin to bankroll our campaign and show Harvey we aren't just a pissant little kid

>>42767563

My internet went out earlier, so there was a period where I couldn't post. I still have a lot to get through for this issue.

If the thread falls off the board before I finish I'll continue it in a new one tomorrow.

>>42767746
This.

>>42767674

"Alright," you tell her. "But if we do this, Cobblepot bankrolls the campaign. It shows Harvey not to mess with us, and finally gets everybody under one roof."

"I'll... See what I can do," she says.

You call everyone over, and explain the night's activities.

"We're... Gonna kidnap Scarface?" asks Dwayne, incredulously. Boss, that seems awful risky..."

"It'll be fine, D- here's the plan."

>Your Mission: To Kidnap Scarface
>How do you plan to do it?
>Who do you plan to put on what task?
>What resources will we need?
>What information do we need?

>>42767674
"Fuck. Fine. We'll do something about Scarface, last thing we need is him screwing up our deal in Crime Alley. Tell me everything you know about Wesker."
>Just to fuck with her
Now tell me everything you know about Scarface.
>Shit eating grin optional.
Nah, but really, that thing full of murder gadgets or something?
Wesker...
We'll make a copy of scarface, convince him we kidnapped him and swapped him with a dummy.
You guys get Dot an eye yet?

>>42767967
Can't we just make a copy and convince Wesker we already did?
Failing that we need to figure out where he is, what his force layout looks like and what defenses he has.
Nightjar can likely supply most of this.
We make a plan from there

>>42767967
Do it quietly. We are trying to run a political campaign after all.
Put Dwayne, Spike and Dottie. They have good tech, brains and brawn between them.
We need cars and and guns. Grappling guns?
We need blueprints at the very least.

>>42768087
We should make a mock up of scarefaces family with a younger lookibg version of scareface we'll call chip. We kidnap both Wesker and scareface tie them both to a chair and make them watch a video of us holding all but Chip over a wood chipper. Chip is Ofcourse with us (as our puppet.) "Now scare face ot took me some digging but I did it, I found your soft spot, whats a matter at a loss of words, bet ypu never told pretty boy next you about the family did ypu ol' scare thought you'd keep them hidden?" then we break out chip and the video (us as chip) "Pa' they got ma' and Lil' Sandy. . . I tried to fight em off honest I did, but there were to many of em. . . Look what they did to my face, Pa?!" (we'd have his face done up like a clown in a suit and all.) this is mostly just to mess with Wesker's psychosis and for our entertainment. We make Scareface promise to leave us alone or else his family will get feed to the termites.

>>42768402
You didn't think we kidnapped and brought you both out here to kill you did you? That would be all too easy and not nearly as fun as this!" Then we laugh maniacally.

>>42768495
We could even have Scareface promise to get the unions backing us. And since they're just puppets if Wesker goes to somebody about it it'll just make him look even more insane.

>>42768402
Nah, we offer to trade our "real" scarface for the "fake"
The one we provide is murder gadget free, but LOOKS like it has its gun at least.
It's not loaded. Then we take the real deal hostage. Maybe take him and Wesker to the cops.

>>42767967

"Nightjar, first, we're going to need to know where he's hiding out."

"There's a funeral parlor downtown. Single-story building, with a basement where the morgue and crematorium are stored. The loading bay in the back leads to both floors; Scarface is probably in the basement. He has a... special way of distributing his drugs." She curls up her nose at the thought of it, looking disgusted.

"And what about his people?" you ask.

"He'll have them posted at the doors. I can't be sure about the inside, though. The whole thing is a front, of course, but it operates as a legitimate business- if you go during the day, there will most likely be guests."

"What else can you tell us about Wesker, then?" you ask.

"Nothing you don't already know. Completely insane, talks to that creepy doll of his, has a lot of pull with the unions, and smuggles drugs in corpses. He's normally much smarter than he's been acting, though. It might just be the threat of other gangs- or his dementia could be taking hold."

"And Scarface?" you ask.

She glares at you. "You're kidding, right? I'll tell you what: once you have him, we can cut him in half and count the rings."

>Turns out the rest of the crew heard a teary Holly shrieking "I can fix it! I can fix it!"
>Followed by us just going outside and chilling for a bit with Holly nowhere to be seen.

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>>42768861

"At the very least," you say, "I think we should try to confuse him- check the props and see of there is a dummy anywhere. We'll make a fake Scarface. Once we're inside, we can pretend we've already got him- the confusion should let us grab the real deal."

The gang looks at you, confused.

"Wait a sec, Boss." says Dottie. "You wanna kidnap Scarface... By distracting him with a fake Scarface?"

"Not Scarface, Dot. Wesker. We make Wesker think we have the real Scarface."

Dwayne looks confused. "Yeah, but won't they notice when Scarface... Talks?"

"You people can't be serious. You all DO know Wesker IS Scarface, right? Wesker just talks through the dummy!"

"But his lips don't move?" protests Dot.

"....and that is why he's called the VENTRILOQUIST!" shouts Nightjar.


"Alright, alright. Everyone calm down," you say. "We take our dummy Scarface, and slip in through the loading bay. Dottie, you'll take Dwayne and Spike and dress as pallbearers. I'll ride in inside s casket. Once we're inside, we can catch Scarface, throw him in the casket, and slip back out again. They might never notice.

Everyone nods in agreement, and begins making preparations for the night.

You take Nightjar aside. "Say..." you ask. "Did you have a chance to look for what I asked for yet?"

She rolls her eyes. "Yes, yes... Here." She hands you a small cloth box. "It was very expensive, you know. I spoke to your little accountant to get it paid for..." You glare at her. "You've been talking to Weatherby?" She shrugs. "Well, someone has to."

You open the box. Inside is a white and green glass sphere, with tiny red threads inside. It looks like a real eye- except that the green is too bright and too perfect. It's some kind of stone, set just beneath the surface of the clear glass.

You close the box and shove it in your pocket, then go get sized for your casket.

>>42769577
Oh yeah, we might want to check up on our accountant. Can't get fooled again!

>>42769577

A hearse drives up to the back of the funeral parlor. Two huge men and a woman in black suits go around back and roll out the cart and casket.

They wheel it up to the basement door, and buzz themselves in.

A man comes to meet them. "You three ain't the normal guys. Who sent you?" he asks.

Dwayne looks at the man with frustration. "You know how far we had ta drive this thing, pal? Guy kicked it all the way across town, an' the family decided they wanted the service here."

The man shakes his head. "Some people, right? Just take it through those doors."

He looks at Dottie. "Say, you doin' alright girlie? Your eye there ain't lookin' so hot."

"Been cryin' over my man," she says, slapping the casket. "You try haulin' your own all tha way across town."

"Oh geeze, lady. Sorry ta hear it."

"Don't be," she says. "Guy died doin' what he loved."

"Which was?" the man asks.

"Anotha woman," Dottie finishes, as they all push your casket through the double metal doors.

Once they are clear it is safe, they unlatch the casket and let you out. You hear voices coming from the next room- the embalming room.

>wat do
>how do you approach?

>>42769968
I'd say we should go hang with Weatherby while this is going on. Unfortunately it seems our goon squad isn't the sharpest tacks in the lunch box.

>>42770145
We should go in nice and quiet. Get a gun on at least one head and tell everyone to shut it. Then take the dummy and kill Wesker if need be. Hell, just do it anyway. That way we can see if he's the dummy or not. HAHAHHAHAHA

>>42770145
We gotta get eyes on our boys Wesker and Thompson.
>How do you approach
Quiet as a casket, then we laugh in his face about having snuck Scar-face away in the night and swapped him with a double we call Cotton Underwood.
Cotton's a failed actor, down on his luck. What some people do for money, eh cue-ball?
Good thing he's a coward too.

>>42770257
I'd rather not.

>>42770335
We should leave a note with him Wesker is sure to find it.

>>42770561
I feel like you're confused, we convince him Scar-Face is Cotton.
Then we trade Scar-Face for Cotton.
Then ask him to check inside the lapel.
And hold Scar-face at gun point force his surrender.
Got it?

>>42770685
The note could still be on him though, all we'd have to do is tell wesker to check for it, then we whip out the real scareface with a gun pressed to his head.

>>42770868
Man, he has the real Scar-Face. We're baiting him into taking the dummy.

>>42771035
Ah. . . Won't he call bullshit though? Wesker never goes anywhere without him.

>>42771113
As long as we cause him to falter momentarily we can press the advantage.
Plus. If we tell him we swapped out his dummy...we could let his paranoia, erratic behaviour and delusional state of mind work FOR us here.

FOR FUCKS SAKE

I've been trying to get something to load for a damn hour. I'll be back tomorrow. Check twitter if this thread is already gone; I'll make a 9.2.

Hopefully I can get off this satellite shit and back to normal in a day or two

>>42771965
Thanks for running QM!

>>42771965
Take your time and do it right

>>42771965
It's cool, we appreciate the effort

>>42774776
Post clown porn?

>>42775212
Please?

>one of those cunts who never puts Quest in the title

>>42775931
Thank you for bumping the thread

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>>42770145

The four of you slip into the embalming room as quietly as possible. Inside, you see Wesker and Scarface arguing with one another.

"B....But Mister Scarface, sir... Y...You can't try to take them all on at the same time!" stammers Wesker.

Scarface turns and slaps him angrily. "I don't pay ya ta think, see? All three of 'em already are out ta get me, an' somebody's on Black Mask's payroll ta boot..."

"Y...Yes, but Penguin..."

"Penguin an' the Clown are takin' us an' Babyface ride, dummy! Lookin' like the damn Joker's got everybody in his pocket..."

You step in, carrying your dressed-up dummy, a cloth covering his mouth.

"...Including you, right Cotton?"

The two men look at you, Scarface's practically rattling in anger. "The hell're you talkin' about, Clown? Who let you in here?"

"I think you know exactly how we got in here, Cotton. Wesker, that man on your arm isn't the real Scarface. We hired him weeks ago, when we kidnapped the real Scarface. We'll free him if you order the gang to stand down, Wesker."

You shake the dummy, trying to convince them he is struggling.

Both Scarface and Wesker look at you in amazement. They both draw their guns on you, and Dottie, Dwayne, and Spike draw their own. "I seen some stupid plans in my day, Clown, but this has ta' take the cake. Take off 'is gag." The little man shakes his Tommy Gun at you.

You pull the gag from the dummy's face. Its wooden jaw hangs limp and lifeless. "Oh my god! He's... dead!" says Dottie, trying (and failing) to be convincing.

"You musta finally cracked, Joker," says Scarface.

>wat do

>>42776306
Hold a gun to our dummy's head, threaten to blow it off if Wesker doesn't cooperate

>>42776450
No, that's clearly going to do nothing.

Although what we SHOULD do, I'm not sure about at all.

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>>42776306

You draw your own gun, and hold it to the dummy's head. "I'm warning you Wesker- if you don't cooperate, I'll shoot."

Scarface whips his Tommy Gun around, and fires directly at the dummy in your arms. Wooden splinters fly everywhere as the thing's head explodes and you drop it. At the sound of gunfire, several large men in suits carrying guns enter the large doors. Scarface waves them on, however.

"Give us a minute, boys." They leave, but are probably just outside the door.

"Real stupid of ya, clown, showin' up here. Real stupid. Bet fatso put ya up to it, eh? 'Salright by me. See, I been workin' on somethin', clown. While you all been tryn' ta grab up as mucha the city as ya can, I been tryn' ta find who ratted on us, see?"

Scarface and Wesker face you. Scarface sits rigidly upon Wesker's arm, holding his gun at you, while Wesker stands behind him, trembling.

"An' I think I figured it out."

The little man's eyes and gun dart between you and your crew...

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>>42776585

Wesker puts his gun to the back of Scarface's head. The little man does not turn around.

"You thought you'd pull one over on me, didn't ya, dummy? I didn't think ya was THAT stupid."

As the trembling man's gun shakes, you hear it clattering against the back of Scarface's skull. "I...I'm sorry, Mister Scarface! I'm sorry! Sh...She made me do it!"

Scarface turns to you.

"Alright clown. Do us all a favor an' ice 'im"

"Wait..." says Spike. "Won't that...?"

"Shuddap, tubs! I want this blockhead ta' know what happens ta' traitors 'round here."

Wesker is shaking more than ever. He is trying to back away from your group, but there is no exit save for the one behind you.

>wat do

metric units are fucking stupid

>>42776651
No hesitation shoot Wesker in the face.

>>42776651
Ask wesker who mad him do it, and then shoot him.

>>42776651
>shoot scarface

Jesus, no, don't shoot Wesker. He could be of use, and knows a lot of stuff. Take his ass with us!

>>42776747
Maybe a limb or something. We could make use of this...

>>42776651

"Who, Wesker? Who made you do it?"

"Th....the woman," he says. "I...I couldn't say no. She MADE me tell her!"

"Wesker, you're coming with us," you say, turning your gun on Scarface. The little man's jaw drops in surprise.

"Yer all a buncha rats! ALL A' YA!" Scarface reels around to knock the gun from Wesker's hand, and unloads the tiny Thompson into Wesker's stomach. You fire your gun at Scarface, leaving a gaping bullethole in his head.

Both men fall to the ground. The double doors swing open once again, as the men outside pour in shooting. Your team shoots into the crowd, making sure that no man who sees your face lives. You have a public image to maintain, after all. Once all the men are dead, your small crew exits the parlor, and returns home in the hearse.

When you arrive at the funhouse, Nightjar is there waiting.

"Where's Wesker?" she asks.

You shake your head. "Dead."

"Scarface, too," adds Dot. "He killed Wesker. We killed him."

"We found out the reason Scarface has been acting so weird- he was trying to out whoever tipped off Black Mask back when all this started. And he found him. It was Wesker himself."

Nightjar looks surprised. "Wesker outed... himself? That doesn't make sense."

"He said someone made him. A woman. He said he 'couldn't say no.'"

She nods. "Ivy, I'd wager. She can make men do what she wants. The guilt of having her take advantage of him must have been too much for him. He couldn't reconcile one personality betraying the other. Sad, really."

You shake your head. "It's weird though... Seeing one of the big names go down so easily. I guess I always figured people like him... Like us... always got away."

Dottie looks at you with confusion. "Ya just shot him, Boss. It ain't like he's gonna stay dead."

>>42776942
"In this town, I'd almost believe that."

>>42776942

"...What?" you ask. Perhaps the people in this gang really are mad. "You know, Dot, in this town, I'd almost believe that."

"She isn't wrong," shrugs Nightjar. "It's always the same with you costume types. Someone kills you, all the papers assure you're 100% dead, and then you show up a year or two later. It's always a big scandal. After a while it stops being shocking and just becomes... annoying."

"Everybody's got a getaway plan or three, Boss," says Dot. "'S just part of the gig."

"Didn't Penguin 'die' once?" asks Dwayne, making quotation marks with his fingers as he says the word "die."

"Once or twice, yes," she says. "But nobody tops your Joker. Maybe Batman, I suppose, but we can never really be sure."

Dwayne gives you a slap on the back. "Just you watch. His body'll disappear, or the building'll catch fire or somethin'. I'm sure you'll see your little friend again within the year."

This does not make you feel any better.

You head to bed without a word as your small group jokes with one another.


When you first started this job you thought you understood the rules. You stole things, scared people, and raked in money. Recently, though, people seem to be insisting that there's more- you don't just scare the people; you fascinate them. They don't just fear you; they admire you. And now you find that even death might be meaningless. Holly said the people thought of you like "gods..." Maybe she was onto something?

You clean yourself off and lie down. Tomorrow is Friday- the day of your campaign party.

You have a lot in store for you.

>>42777163

You awaken the next morning and dress yourself. You remember Dottie's gift - the glass eye in the small felt box in the pocket of your suit last night. You put in in your pocket once again, making a mental note to give it to her today.

As you enter the main room, you find no one inside- save for Nightjar and Professor Coal. The two are sitting at the table talking.

"Everyone's out getting your little circus ready," says Nightjar. "So why aren't you helping them?" you ask her. "Because I'm not part of your gang, am I?" She leans back in her chair lazily, as if to drive the point home.

"And Coal," you turn to her. "It's the middle of the day. Why are you here?" "Your Miss Cris thought it best. If you're planning to go straight, then you should be willing to work with people like me," she says.

"Oh... Yeah, I suppose this has had a pretty negative effect on your business, huh? Can't really provide a cure for something that isn't out to kill people."

"Not at all," she says. "Our orders have tripled. Nobody's sure what you're planning." She still seems a bit... down, though. "It's all a trick of course, right? Because I've got some plans for a slow-acting version of your Smilex: a kind of neurodegenerative toxin that eats away at the nervous system. It would take years to take effect, but would be completely irreversible and incurable. And you said you wanted some kind of horrid drug made, right?"

>wat do

>>42777488
"When did I say that? But I thought I explained on air this was all a joke on air anyway. At least as much as the people want it to be." "I'm thinking lower tax rates, and higher crime rates. Maybe get the people to vote on what they want done to them for X amount of time. Aside from murder of course. Then our entrepreneurs wind putting most of that back in the city."

>>42777488

"God no! I just wanted a recreational drug that makes people laugh! Jesus Christ, Coal!"

>>42777488
Wow, that sound kinda cool, let's save that for if I don't get elected. It seems nonlethal in the short run, right? They laugh it off as a good humored joke cause no one dies. But they are just dieing slowly, hilarious!

>>42777488
...hm. Well, she's going off the deep end rather wonderfully.

I say we keep a small amount of that shit around as a panic button. Not a huge amount, but, that's some nastyass shit. Good for emergencies.

>>42777488
>>42777646
"I can't believe I got through that pile of shit with a straight face. Anyway, Coal, not that I don't appreciate it, but I don't remember saying that, when was this?
Still. Worse to worst I suppose I could use it on the Bat to get the last laugh."

>>42777488
Coal...when have you ever seen me go full "Raze the City to the Ground" mode?

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>>42777488

"Jesus christ, Coal! Gut Buster? When I asked for that the other night I just wanted something to mess with people's digestive tracts a bit, not rot their brains out or whatever. Anyway, the way I see it, this whole mayoral thing's as much of a joke as the people want it to be."

"But you're still not doing anything direct, right? I mean you've got your men throwing a carnival for children out there!"

"Look, Coal. I appreciate your enthusiasm, but you know I don't go in for the whole "Raze the City to the Ground" thing. And this time, if I play nice, and somebody like Batman tries to stop me, then they're the ones that look like the bad guys- not me. Have you got some of that brain eater stuff? We can keep it on hand for emergencies. Just a LITTLE bit. I'm not sure how comfortable I would feel around that stuff."

"It's still in the planning stages," she says. "But it might not be very good for emergencies, unless you're planning on something years down the line."

"Hey, could help us get the last laugh on Batman," you suggest.

She stands. "Look, I'm just worried that you're wasting my talents." She puts on a concerned face, "And besides... I just don't want you getting in over your head."

"Look Coal, how about this: tell the police I've opened my vaults to you. We'll send some trucks full of some of your chemicals to meet them; call it a gift to prove I'm going straight. We'll put out word of the trade. And once the police have the tanks, somebody will come and steal them. That'll get some of your nastiest stuff out onto the streets, and you'll still be needed for all sorts of cures. And it'll be the cops' fault, not mine."

She smiles and pats you on the face. "That's what I like to hear."


"Well then, Joker, if you're ready, I think we should be getting to your event now," says Nightjar. The three of you take Nightjar's incredibly expensive black car, and drive towards Crime Alley.