>>42949396
>3d filth

But of course, you have no experience in this field. You've been a kissless virgin your whole life, luckily having a few side hugs under your belt from your middle school days. But you arent entirely ugly, infact your boyish metabolism has yet to fade, so getting a girlfriend might not be all that hard. You're sure any girl that got to know you would love you for your loving nature, and funny personality.

But where to meet girls? Obviously online. You had a few ideas, but one stood out above the rest.

>Make OKLUVR profile (dating site) giving you access to the most number of single women in your area
>Make a 4chan thread, you might find a girl with similar interests as you
>Log onto myface, you have quite a few girls you know IRL on your facebook


>Look for a job

>[write in]

>>42949474
>[write in]
Pray to the dark lord to help you get a girlfriend

>>42949535
Seconded.

Invoke Satan.

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>>42949535
I third this we must invoke the dark god for the best waifu

>>42949535
Fourthed, time to ask the ol' guy for some help here.

That idea was to give up before even trying.

Your whole life you've never been good enough to make anyone proud. None of the kids at school would ever talk
to you, your dad was ashamed that you even shared his DNA, your mom only let you live with her because she felt sorry for her 24 year old loser son.

You get off your chair and slowly lay down, embracing your tall white carpet. The stains all over it keep you from feeling just a moment of comfort and you start to
sob. Why does everyone else seem to get through life so easily when you are damned to a life of browsing imageboards and masturbating all day??


After laying still for about 10 minutes, you lift your head up.... far in the corner of your room, a copy of dungeons and dragons monster manual lays open.

You walk over to read it...

It's open to page 330 and the description of "goat" catches your eye. You've seen images of goats online before, namely goats heads shaped like pentagrams. You recall your time as a 16 year old even searching articles about
coming into contact with the Devil himself through the use of demonic prayer Maybe the dark lord himself.

Browsing through your 30+ book marks, you find the page containing information about the demonic prayer and begin chanting "O might lord Satan, by whom all things are set free, I cast my humble virgin body [you took some liberties]
utterly into thing arms and place my heart unreservedly into your dark order. Comfort me and bring me what I desire", you hesitate for a few minutes before continuing "I want a girlfriend, someone to cherish in hold in health and in sickness your dark lord please bless me, amen"

Silence.

Starting to think you wasted your breath a loud voice echoes off in your ear. "My son, a pretty waifu do you desire? Premarital sex ? I can help you.. fulfill your temptations" it vocalizes.

"But I want something from you first, a trade.. if you will"

You're startled, but determined enough to see this through "Yes master, what is it you desire?" you mentally ask him.

"A sacrifice, a girl of my own, I care not how it is handled.Place three candles next to her dead body and chant the demonic prayer of sacrifice. Then, I will give you your girl" He exclaims.

"Do you have any other questions, mortal?"

>[write in]

>>42950061
>Do i have to kill her myself?

>>42950061
>So I get a girl for every girl I send you?

>>42950061
>Do you have any preferences?

>>42950121
>>42950102
>>42950061
These

>>42950102
>>42950121
>>42950138
All three, also
>Is there any additional payment for sending girls that are your preference?

>Can I choose what she looks like?

>>42950061
>What if I want to be a girl?

File: Warlock_ritual.webm (2.81 MB, 320x320)

2.81 MB WEBM

>>42950061
Is it too late to take back that prayer yet?

>>42950197
this

>>42949396
...This has to truly be the dumbest quest thread yet, what is the point?

Hop on over to /a/ or r9k and just live it for real.

>>42950102
>>42950121

These two

"Yes, dark lord of hell below, must this women die by my hand alone?" you ask

"I care little for how she dies, however, I insist it must be a fresh corpse, having passed died within 48 hours before the ritual"

You start to get some ideas, and decide to ask if he has any preferences

"Again, I care little for who this girl is. It could be a prostitute, an eight year old, or somebodies grandmother, I dont care! Just place three candles around
her body and chant the demonic prayer of sacrifice. But be considerate, since you're choosing my girl, remember im choosing yours. Maybe you should consult your
own preferences"

" I only want one girl. I won't allow you more than one anyways, because you asked for a *girlfriend*. Polygamy is not viewed highly in the
land of men, I have your best interest at heart. I am satan"

"Oh and one last thing, you can call to me for help when you need, but again be considerate. I'm not going to do the job for you, and I have a life myself. But if
you're really in a pickle, chant the demonic prayer. Goodbye"

That was a lot to take in and as you decide to thank satan for his time, all is silent and you arent really sure he heard it.

Looks like you have a job after all.

>>42950061
Oh dark one, with all due respect I do not think that I could even overpower a woman. I may require some "assistance" for the task set before me.

A victim you wonder.. who might the perfect victim be.

Thinking back to your earlier options you might have some luck trying to find a victim online

>Dating site
>4chan thread
>Myface social networking
or even
>Gregslist

But you could also, you know, step out into the real world and find a woman there, or some how manage to get a womans corpse.

>[write in]

>>42950439
>Find a job in morgue

>>42950356
>what is the point?

practice storytelling and thinking creatively.. fun, for those who chose to participate.

>>42950439
Gregslist

>>42950439
>Gregslist
People on there are fucking crazy. Put an ad up that you want to sacrifice a girl to Satan and I'm sure there'd be at least one reply

>>42950439
>Gregslist

>>42950458
I second this.
What are the requirements needed for working one?

We need a girl that will please Satan do you think he would enjoy a sjw or a pure maiden?

>>42950508
What kind of girl do we want?

>>42950507
Well, it isn't most popular place to work, so requirements are prettylow (at least for menial job)

>>42950491
Don't forget the free meal to go along with. B8 em in.

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>>42950383
>I have your best interest at heart. I am satan

>>42950458
This.
Preferably the coroner's office, though.

>>42950491
>>42950550
>Free meal when you offer your life and soul to Satan, no fatties, no one over 40

>>42950439
Start a cult on herbalist, promise a waifu or some shit

>>42950575
I think we need a degree or something to be a coroner why not see if there is a night shift janitor job at a morgue

>>42950601
Fucking auto correct

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>>42950590
I like this ad this is a good ad

>>42950458
Let's go and offer to work one night for free to prove how great we are at the job.

once we're alone, just do the thing and walk out the door because fuck working

>>42950647
We I might need a job in case something goes haywire

>>42950590
This

>>42950647
This
its a great idea.

You start to feel a little disheartned. You get a bad flash back about disapointing your father. He'd always ridicule you for forgetting to put
your dishes away, or take out the trash.

"Satan..." you call out, admist your anxiety

"... Yes, human... " he responds " you know mortal, I dont even know your name.. I think next dubs will decide that. But none the less, what do you want"?

"I've never really gotten into a fight before, i'm not sure I could even over power a woman. I want to know if you can give me any assistance" You say

"Jesus christ!" he exclaims. He takes a second, "ok look kid, I know you have a bunch of japanese weapons in your room you've spent a large chunk of money on,
all those days you've spent slashing water bottles must mean you're atleast proficient with them", you start to think satan is doing this for your own good, he's
the encouraging voice you've needed these past four years

"Well not just that Satan, I don't really know where to find women, alive or not"

Satan is really patient, "ok look [anon] i'm not going to hold your hand through this, but I think you should check Gregslist. There are so many freaks on that site
you could probably find a crazy bitch willing to let you kill her... or maybe just a job at the morgue" "But this is your quest, I cant keep helping you for simple tasks
like this, the next time I hear from you, you better have made more progress than just turning on your damn computer. Good bye son" He seemed a little bipolar, just
like your father. You figured satan was probably an alcoholic too.

Logging onto gregslist you see a few options, you decide to start browsing the pages.

personals:
>M4W
>Stricly Platonic
>Casual encounters

>Jobs listing

>Discussion forum (write in which sub forum)

>Items for sale (write in which item section)

Also roll a d20 when you vote

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>42950796
>Jobs listing. Find a job in morgue.

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>42950796
>Stricly Platonic
"Male searching for woman to sacrifice to Satan. Includes giving your life and soul. Free last meal. No fatties, must be at least decently attractive"

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>42950796
>>Jobs listing
Morgue part time job or at least look up people who work there and offer them money for alone time with the corpses

Name will be Anon E. Moose

Name him David Goliath

Name: Bacardi

Call him Obama

>>42951055
First name Call, last name Obama. I like it.

>>42951055
I don't want to but if we HAVE to then we'll only answer to o-beezy. Or obeezy-chan if the settings in Japan

You weren't ready to become another Gregslist killer, so you decided to see which job listings were open. A job would not only get you more money, it would
also put you in contact with more women, and even enhance your skills. One job listing in particular caught your eye, "Foresnic Morgue Attendant".

http://boise.craigslist.org/trd/5257615928.html (gregslist)


Wow imagine that, not having to kill any woman, but still getting your own waifu! What a dream!

Such low requirements too, you were a high school graduate any had the proof to show for it, you decided to email Rockstarjohn54

"Hi my name is Calhim Obaghma, and I was very interested in your posistion" you decided to fib a little bit "I've always wanted to work in a morgue,
something about dead bodies seems very peaceful to me, I know its unorthodox. I look forward to hearing back from you

-Calhim"

You spent thirty minutes mindlessly browsing /tg/ and constantly refreshing your email before finially getting a response.

"Hi Calhim! So very nice to meet you friend, this is a position we've been looking to fill for a while, just to be sure.. the
job requirements mean you will have to be touching dead bodies a lot as we move a lot of volume here. It gets kind of stinky in here.
But if you can handle that, i'd love to set up an interview for a couple hours from now, how does that sound? Any questions you may have?

-John"

You don't have much experience working in jobs, but wow this seemed really easy. Extremely easy even, it may be best to ask a few
questions to make sure there isn't a catch here, or just verify your interest in the job. I mean it wasn't too late to turn him down either.

You wanted to respond to his email in one way or another

>Accept
>Refuse
>Ask questions [Write in]
>[Write in]

>>42951216
>Ask questions about work hours and payment . It would be suspicious if we didn't ask about it. Accept anyway.

>>42951216
>Accept
Make the excuse that we've been spending our money poorly, so we'll do anything to not starve.

>>42951216
>>Accept
Say thats not exactly what we expected but it won't be a problem

>>42951216
>Accept
Fuck it

>>42951270
>>42951216
This Anon's got the right idea.

You started to fire up another response to Rockstarjohn54@gmail.com

"Hey John, sounds great I just had a few questions. First off whats the pay, and what kind of hours would I be recieving. I wasnt
really expecting an interview today, but I could definently attend it.

-Calhim"

A response, this time very quickly

"Hey again, Calhim. Well as it said on the ad [ http://boise.craigslist.org/trd/5257615928.html - the actual ad], we'll be
paying you 10$ an hour, which is a lot for these parts. We'd need you maybe about 30 hours a week, typically later afternoons into the night, thats usually when most of the bodies come in anyways.

Well i'm splended to hear about your interest, and that you can attend our interview later.

You'll want to bring your high school diploma, drivers license/ID, and your social security number so we can put you in the system.

Oh and this will be conducted at the managers home, we typically don't do interviews in front of the cadavers we feel it to be a bit disrespectful.

His address is 586 Brindisi Lane, show up at 6:00 or just after.. nothing earlier, you arent the only interview we have today..

Thank you Calhim, see you later :-)

John"

To think a meeting with the devil would lead you to scoring your first job interview. Life was strange, but somehow it was falling into place.
You were really just excited to be closer to getting a girlfriend.
You started to imagine walking in the park, and in hand with some beautiful young woman you could call your own. You lay back on your bed for a moment,
just day dreaming of love. Looking over, your clock reads 3:00 PM, you do have sometime to kill before the interview, though it only makes sense you spare
a 30 minute window to shower and get dressed. But in the mean time you decided to.

>Go on the internet [write in, roll 1d20]
>Play computer game [write in, roll d20]
>Call your mother
>Rest
>Masturbate
>Train with your japanese weapons
>[Write in, roll 1d20]

>>42951154
...
Did you post that ad?

>>42951452
I don't trust him he put a :-) instead of a :)

>>42951566
>Train with your japanese weapons
I wanna be the very best at murder

>>42951569
No, RockstarJohn54@gmail.com did

I have a feeling anyone of these responses might get us in trouble ( injury, late) so I say keep away from the weapons and set multiple alarms.

>>42951566
>Rest
Save your energy for later.

>>42951688
Also set up alarm clock.

Masturbate.
This is now a lewd armor thread.

>>42951581
>>42951452
Same,
>Do a background check on him and the manager

>>42951740
>>42951618
>>42951688
>>42951678
You decide one hour of training a weapon would be fine, followed by a rest before getting ready to go, maximizing your time but not falling behind on time.

First thing first you needed to pick which weapon you wanted to train

>Sai - one handed, piercing damage
>Tanto - one handed slashing damage
(you have two of each)

These might be better for concealment but


>Katana - Two handed, slashing, holy grail of weeaboo

Would be really epic!! and powerful to use IRL too

>>42951581
What's wrong with that :-(

>>42951800
>Sai - one handed, piercing damage
We can be just like Raphael!

>>42951800
>Sai - one handed, piercing damage

>>42951809
Be gone foul John! >:(

>>42951800
Sai, I'd love to use a katana but we need to conceal slightly feel.

You go into your backyard, into your own training dojo. Todays enemy is a 24 pack of nestle pure life water you have stacked ontop of your garbage can.

Your radio, sitting next to the door is turned onto the Jazz radio station, something about jazz always pumped you up for this.


You charge, with both Sai in hand, directly into the unfortunate pack of water bottle, "DIE YOU SCUM" you scream, unsure of who it was directed to.
The waterbottles had not really lost your favor, so maybe you were speaking to your former self. The self that never had a job or love, he was dead
and your purpose now was grander than life itself.

Admist all this introspection you forgot to watch the bottles burst water out, water was all over you now and you pretended in your head it was the blood of your enemies.

You picked the pack of water bottles up and threw it high into the air, as it came crashing down, it managed to meet with both of your blades, devestating another half dozen of water bottles!

The pack fell onto the ground and you were surely out of breath at this point. Although a passerby would probably laugh at this spectacle, especially because you had spared a few water bottles,
you could feel your skill increase and a sort of bond forming with these weapons. They needed a name you knew, but this would come in time. You wiped the sweat/purified water off your forehead and cracked open
a bottle for yourself. Fighting is a lot of work, but you knew you would probably need to fight to obtain the woman of your dreams.

>>42951866
:-\

>>42951966
So, exactly how much of a fa/tg/uy is the MC.
In both respects.

Jesus, this was the most excercise you've gotten in weeks, you used to jog a bit before but recently you've stopped,
being in the kind of depressed fonk you were in.

Deglecting that you were a bit sweaty from the miniscule amount of excercise, you stripped off your clothes and jumped onto your bed.

You noticed you were a bit aroused, and decided you earned yourself a quick wank... You've gotten very accustomed to masturbating not
only to just mental images, but quickly. Life always seemed to be more about the destination than the journey to you, and today was no acception.
You imagined dominating the big breasted nerdy girl from the LGS from behind. you probably could have had a chance with her, but sadly it will have to wait to
another life time, she moved away a year ago.

As I said, you were quick, and wiped the fluids off your chest using your sweaty tee shirt, no one would notice anyways.

You felt really tired from all of this and drifted into sleep...

>>42952021
He's kind of thin, he's at the point in his life where his metabolism will start to catch up with him if he doesnt change some habits

He has a few of the D&D rule books, having played a little bit in high school and at the LGS but recently withdrew from attending due to a kind of depressive sadness, he'd rather play games through IRC

For all you knew, you were walking to the girls house. To think you were actually going to get with her finally, it was like you were dreaming!
Walking down the street the weather suddenly got colder and shifted to night, as you walked up the steps to her front door, a deep chill over came you moments before
the door opened up to show some sort of monster run straight at you!

You shot out of slumber instantly, you were startled and recalled where you were. For once you were happy that your dreams typically didnt come true. There had been exceptions before..

The time read 4:40, you figured you would hop on the computer real quick before getting ready. An article on the news depicted a man being arrested for his murder of a young woman, how awful you thought to yourself.
Yet in the back of your head, you knew we we're all one deal with the devil away from being murderers.

Something about your dream and this headline piqued your interest regarding this new job, you decided you ought to do some research before heading on over.

But there was a problem, there wasn't any company listed in the ad OR the emails with John.

And googling Rockstarjohn54 [ https://www.google.com/search?q=rockstarjohn54&rlz=1C1CHMO_enUS469US469&oq=rocksta&aqs=chrome.0.69i59j69i57j69i59.1820j0j9&sourceid=chrome&es_sm=93&ie=UTF-8 ] only brought up a link
to some "Free Chat" porn site you didn't click because you knew the dangers of viruses.

Well I guess there were a few options

>Keep prepairing for the job anyways
>Email John [Write in]
>Look up morgues in the area
>Turn down job request
>Consult /adv/

>>42952254
Oh and as always,

>other [write in]

Thanks for participating guys, btw

>>42952254
>>Look up morgues in the area
>Keep prepairing for the job anyways

>>42952254
>Consult /adv/
You can always trust /adv/

>>42952254
>Keep prepairing for the job anyways
We are not attractive victim, so it's probably be okay.

>>42952306
>>42952254
This, also make a thread on /b/

>>42952270
>[write in]

Call mum and let her know we have a job interview and we want a reward before we go to it

ou still had a limited amount of time to get ready for this, so you decided to hastly search up any morgues in the area. Only to find the county's website, with a page about the coroner

Her name was Carry Greenfield, and attatched was an image of her. She looked like she was in her late 40's, blond hair, not particularly attractive at all.
On the page was a brief description of what the coroners job was, as well as an address and phone number of the main office.
Keeping this page open, you made two new tabs and on the first went to /b/ making a gore thread, you hadn't exactly lied about being interested in dead people, you had a sizable gore photo to
start the thread off you posted three images.

There might be some good posts in a while, but for now you turned to /adv/ to share your story. But then you wondered if you should share the part about earlier too, or just the current dilemna?

(First vote decides)

>Share
>keep secret

>>42952412
>keep secret

>>42952412
>>keep secret

>>42952412
Keep that shit vague with some key words only people that prayed to satan would figure out

You knew better than to share that information, especially with that happened on /r9k/ a few days ago.

"Hey /adv/ i'm a neet looking to get my first job, i'd always just wanted to work at a Morgue and today on Gregslist and today I found an opening. I conversed with an employee over email and he's having me come over
to the managers house later for an interview, its a kind of thing they do out of respect for the dead I guess. While anyways, I was just wondering if you guys found this weird, there was no information about the morgue itself
in the email he posted or the ad, but I just really want this job, what should I do?"

You posted this with a picture of a spooky skeleton and shifted back to your /b/ thread. One refresh and you saw about five new posts, most of them containing gore images. The most gruesome, was a man with a metal pole
protruding from his chest, he was definently done for. No one posted in your /adv/ thread, so you decided to take a quick shower.

You washed your hair every few days, and this happened to be one of those days, you really didnt spend much time in the shower spare a few brief seconds enjoying the warm temperature and a few more seconds applying lavender body wash, man did that stuff smell good!

Drying off you came back to your computer and saw a few replies from the thread, the advice fell into a few catagories


>Ditch the whole thing, you can find another job
>Email john himself [write in]
>[write in]
>Just keep getting ready


or just forget all that and
>call your mom

>>42952566
Keep getting ready, make sure we've stashed our sai somewhere that it can be reached quickly

>>42952566
>Just keep getting ready

>>42952566
>>call your mom

Forget, it! You figure, you've popped enough water bottles in your day to defend yourself and are on a time schedule anyways. You get dressed and decide to wear your loose fitting button up shirt, tucking your sai into your undies. You give your hair a nice comb, put on some
slacks and wow, you have not looked this good in years! Hell you could probably call the whole job off and just try to pick up random girls, but you knew your safest bet was to not get your hands dirty.

The time was 5:20 when you decided to call mom.

"Hey mom"

"Calhim i'm not going to pick you up mcdonalds again"

"No not that, I have a job interview today!"

"Wow, I am amazed!! With who? Why didn't you tell me sooner"

"Well, I wanted to keep it a surprise, it's the local morgue"

"Wow.. thats an interesting choice, when is the interview?", She knew you were about to ask for a ride...

"At 6:00, could you take me?"

"Yeah i'm almost home right now"

"Aight peace out mam"

You sat around, watching the gore thread update in the meanwhile. Someone had posted an image of a man whos arm had been completely sliced off, blood all over the floor, the comment read "OP this is you"... You shrugged, 4chan is such a weird afterall

It isnt much later till your mom shows up. "Come on Calhim!! You dont want to be late!"

You grabbed your identification and came downstairs, following her into the car.

After telling her the location, she plugged the address into her phone and said it would be about 15 minutes. On the drive there, she started talking about her job but like always you tuned her out...

The car stopped outside of an small house, nothing too particular, save for a few dead plants out front.

"This is it?" Mom asked
"Yeah, I forgot to mention he was holding the interview at the managers home"
"Really....?" She seemed a little worried, like mothers always seemed to be.

"Well, Calhim I can even wait for you, I dont mind.. since interviews are only typically 30 minutes. Or go inside with you, acting like im just overly excited... or I dont know, I just feel a little weird" Again, nothing new from mom

Though her points weren't completely unfounded, that being said it was 5:53, and you recall John saying he didn't want you until after 6:00PM, so you had a few options.


Mom
>Comes with you
>Waits outside
>Drops you off

You
>Wait in car till 6:00
>Knock on door now
>Investigate the house
>Call it off
>[Write in]

Roll a d20 when you vote

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>42952792
>Waits outside
>Investigate the house
Roll under or over?

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>42952792
>Drops you off
>Investigate the house

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>42952792
>Mom drops you off
>Knock on door now

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>42952792
>Waits outside
>Investigate the house

>>42952792
>>Waits outside
>>Mom Waits
>>Investigate the house

Rolled 1 (1d2)

1. Drop off
2. Stays outside

>>42952833
Negates my roll,

Writing

You definently got your anxiety from your mother, "You dont mind waiting outside?" you ask

"No, I have a few calls I need to make anyways, i'll park the car about two houses down", again she was a little weird at times. This was a good chance for you to get a glimpse of the home, you started to walk along the side of it. There was an unlocked gate, and you quitely unlocked it and started along the side of the house. There were quite a bit of plants, some in containers, others growing along the path, there was a side door atop a step but you kept sneaking into the backyard. Just a typical backyard nothing seemed too weird about it, there was however an empty window and the faint sound of a males voice could be heard. From what you've observed of this place, nothing seemed particularly out of the ordinary, but you were very curious about what was being said. Then again, there was a side door you could check as well, sounded like the talking in the house was from the opposite end of the door. Or you could just call this off, and go back to the front door.

>Check Window
>Check Side Door
>Go up front, wait 6 minutes
>Knock at door already
>Write in

Also roll in any vote u make

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>42952934
Seems safe enough.
>Go up front, wait 6 minutes

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>42952934
Check window

>>42952934
>Knock at door already
straight back now, no slumping little neet. make a good impression

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>42952934
>Go up front, wait 6 minutes

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>42952934
>Check Window

>>42952934
peek through the window

You were already in this man's backyard, you might as well go all the way with it.

Creeping onto his back patio you position yourself under the window.

You could hear one voice "You do have a lot to offer, but at the moment i'm expecting someone else. You should hear from me very soon" sounded like the interview had just finished, funny, guess you had a bit of competition. You stayed under the window for a few moments, hearing foot steps inside the house and a door close.. You decided to creep back to the front of the house now. You didn't get a glimpse of the other candidate leaving, but that didnt matter much. Two houses down, your mother was focused on her phone, she didn't seem to notice you.

Your heart started to thud as you approached the door, you had wanted female companionship for so long and this step determined the ease of that coming into frutition.

A man opened in the door, somewhat slouched in posture. He had short light brown hair, a polo shirt and khakis on. Something about his outfit seemed tacky but you put these thoughts to the back of your mind, you wanted this job.

Managing to get your words out first, you said "You must be John" and extended your hand.

"Oh... yes, nice to finally meet you", he took your hand and gave you a firm shake, nothing too strong. "Come in."

Looking around, you were a bit surprised to see the insides were a lot less clean than the exterior would make you think. For starters, there were hardly any lights on... and the areas that were lit had webs of some sorts in the corner, it was like he had his Halloween decorations out early. "Sorry about the house, I haven't had visitors in a while" he said, before directing you to take a seat on a red leather couch.

From this room you could see the entry to the kitchen (which housed the window you stood under), a closet door to your left, a ways in front of you, a door you assumed led into the basement, and in the distance you could see a stair case, and just beyond.. the door to the side yard.

You weren't sure what caused this level of vigilance, but you seemed aware of all the entries and exits from where you were. This place was a bit eerie. John took a seat in a white arm chair and repeated himself "take a seat on the couch".

Roll 1d20
>Sit and listen to John
>Ask John anything [write in]
>Run and open one of the doors
>Attack/Threaten John
>[Write in]

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>42953326
>Sit and listen to John

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>42953326
>Sit and listen to John

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>42953326
>Sit and listen to John

>>42953326
>Ask John anything [write in]
Before we start this, I just want to say that working with dead bodies at a morgue has been a passion of mine. I know it seems strange, but there's no complaints, the bodies don't tell any lies, to paraphrase. It's almost reverent, most people simply don't appreciate work you and all the others do, and I want to do my part for their trip into oblivion. Thank you for listening to me monologue, I wanted to get that off my chest before we started, eheh.

"Alright, well i'm glad to finally meet you, i've been looking for an assasitant for a long time"

"According to your email you've heard the tasks required for this job and are willing to fulfill them, correct?"

You nod, and the brief silence ensuing motivates you to speak. "I've always been passionate about wanting to work with dead bodies,
I know it sounds weird, but they never complain... they never tell lies. Most people don't really appreciate all the work invovled, but I do and I want to do my part
to assist their trip into oblivion", you feel like going on but catch yourself "T-thats all"

"Alright kid look" John replies, "i'm glad that you're excited to work, but there's part of this job that I haven't told you about."

He stands up and walks to the closet. Turning his body torwards you, "... come over here" he says.

You walk next to him and he opens the door. Inside the closet a middle aged sits, his hands tied behind his back, and a gag ball in his mouth. He doesnt seem to be resisting, almost as if he's been drugged. But he's clearly still alive. The sight horrifies you, and you go to reach for your Sai, unsure of what murderous maniac you're standing beside.

A 9mm pistol is held up to your head, "look, at this point you've seen too much and you have two options"... "You use whatever weapon you have in your pockets to kill him.. Or I kill you, consider this your job offer". John steps back a bit to keep distant from you, but he doesnt let his aim down.

"Well?" he says


>Execute the man
>Attack John
>Try to escape
>Ask question [Write in]
>[Write in]

as usual D20!!!

>>42953577
>[Write in]
Tell the man to give you a second to steel yourself and ask the dark lord if he wants this middle aged man as a sacrifice.

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>42953577
Pray to the dark lord

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>42953610
>>42953577
Forgot dice
Are you taking best of 3 or best of all dice or wat?

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>42953577
>Ask question: "Are you following Dark Lord too?"

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>42953577
>Ask question
What the hell? what is the point of this? are you surev you cant let me go? i dont care if youre a serial killer, i just wanted to fuck a pretty lady only recently dead.

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>42953577
Those water bottles weren't fast enough, John won't be either, lets do this!

>Attack John

>>42953620
I have my methods

taking a few more votes

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>42953577
>Ask Question
Will we get to kill a female next? That's kinda why I wanted this job...

>>42953610
Thisss

>>42953577
>Execute the man
Try not to get blood on yourself.

In the heat of the moment, you've decide to consult the dark lord.. out loud "O mighty lord satan by.." John interupts "-Whom all things are set free! Shut this mother fucker up before I do"

Either Satan granted his prayer, or you just chose to wise up.. "Listen kid, you're not the only one in league with the devil... we all have our debts to pay."

Again you use the silence as a cue to speak, still frozen in place "Are you going to kill me?" you ask

"As it stands no, I do have a job for you and again you can accept it by ending that chump's life over there." He continues "I know what kind of job you want, I know what you're after... do you think that job listings for morgue positions just pop out of thin air? Do you realize we are both already working for the same employer?"

"A pussy like you won't get anything from Satan-" he starts again... in a way your fathers voice rings in your head, all the belittling comes back to you. The world goes black and your hands reach for your weapons, you know what you're doing, yet in your head you're still just running towards a pack of water bottles.

>>42953621
This.

Who are we stabbing ?

>>42953751
Tied up guy

>>42953751
Middle aged guy.
Go in through the back of the neck, and sever the brain stem. Less blood, and more efficient.

Odds are we would have picked that one up browsing /b/.

File: 1433787702948.jpg (24 KB, 324x371)

24 KB JPG

>>42950383
>I have your best interest at heart. I am satan"

>>42953751
>Execute prisoner. At least you get a job. Progress!

>>42953751
Ball gag man. Can we scream a Raphael from TMNT quote out as we do it?

>>42953823
>Cowabunga dude!
Dude... I mean I know you made a deal with Satan, but you seem a little more than fucked in the head.

>>42953851
We picked those sai for a reason, in a high pressure enviroment you have to stick with what you know.

When training in your back yard you would always shift all the weight into the blow... Your kai converged at his neck, much like the water bottles, his contents came pouring out as you pulled your blades back. A little bit of blood splattered onto your pants. Someone in the back of your head started to laugh... maybe you were just laughing outloud. You stared at the body like it was just another broken water bottle, just another piece of plastic you would have to dispose of. You turned to John, and after a brief moment of silence, you yelled "SHREDDER!!!" at your victim. Your sanity had clearly dropped a little.

John seemed at ease, despite having watched a murder... who knows what that man's eyes have seen through the years.

>>42953915
>said kai instead of sai

oops

File: 1442882778153.png (379 KB, 689x752)

379 KB PNG

>>42953915
>you yelled "SHREDDER!!!" at your victim.

File: pr54036-2-982508-600x600-(...).jpg (57 KB, 600x600)

57 KB JPG

"That was exceptional", John says

You get out of your combat stance and put the Sai back, and stand frozen looking at the ground.

John, walking up to you, places his hand on your shoulder "You know, I didnt lie at all about the job description, i'm going to need your help transporting carcasses.." seeing how youre still silent, he continues "it's not just us in league with the devil, there are many... people go as far as to turn against their own humanity to make their worldly wishes come true.. I work with a group of people, we keep these bodies moving, people pay millions just to avoid the dirty work"

"I know you want something out of this too, and we will take care of your desires, but if you with me now... if you're with us, you need to help me prepare this body"

You snap out of your paralysis, "for who?"

John says nothing and, lifts up his shirt, exposing a huge tattoo of the satanic goat head you've seen on the internet multiple times before.

Who knows how long this will take, maybe you should say something to your mom before proceeding.

>Agree to help
>Refuse
>Ask any question [write in]
>Talk to mom, aka LIE!! [write in]
>[Write in]

>>42953971
hey, you guys choose the story, I just do the execution

>>42954034
>Agree to help

Come on! We have bright career opportunity!

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>42954034
Call mom, tell her they want me to start right away, and that she can head home.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>42954034
Wipe the blood off our pants and
talk to mom, tell her we're going to go to have a look at the morgue but John will give us a lift back so she can go home

>>42954034
>Agree to help

>>42954047
Splinter would be proud.

Is this whole thing some attempt to get fa/tg/uys to go get a job a burger king?

I mean, your best option wasn't hard to decipher. "Alright, i'm in... I just have to make a call real quick"

John looked confused, but didn't seem in a hurry enough to care.

You dialed your moms phone, ringing three times before she picked up "Hey sweetie"
"Hi mom"
"Everything alright?"
"Yes, i'm fine"
"Well.... do you want to leave then"
"No I actually got hired, um your free to go now"

your mother sensed something had changed in your voice, though she didn't expect you had just murdered someone.

"I dont know Calhim, [pronounced, KAHLEEM btw] i've seen a bunch of shows and I know how people can get forced at gun point to make calls..." she started ranting for a sec "..i'm going to come up to the door to make sure you're ok and to meet this employer guy"

"Mom, no-"

Click, she hung up on you instantly, probably stepping out of her car to head over. You still have blood on your pants, if she sees that there will be no end to this.

You quickly tell John whats happening, he frowns and starts to speak but you assure him that you have a plan...

>[write in]

File: 1439096903163.gif (2.39 MB, 448x252)

2.39 MB GIF

>>42954156
>"I dont know Calhim, [pronounced, KAHLEEM btw] i've seen a bunch of shows and I know how people can get forced at gun point to make calls..." she started ranting for a sec "..i'm going to come up to the door to make sure you're ok and to meet this employer guy"

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>42954156
Remove those trousers and ask John to take his off. Its just a normal no pants party, all the cool kids have them.

>>42954156
Can we murder our mother? Seems i found a root of our problems.

>>42954173
bitch that's a 10/40

he just killed a man, he's not ready for the composure of calling his mom moments after will a normal tone

you guys are creative cmon now its not the end

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>42954156
rain check murder dude, help with corpses laater. wash pants with a handful of water . tell mom we spilled tea

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>42954215
Supporting

>>42954196
I mostly meant his mom going, "Did you get forced at gunpoint to work for the devil?"

>>42954224
>>42954215
"Listen, John i'll be back" you say, running to the faucet. You turn on the hot water , run it on your hands and splash it all over your trousers managing to cover up the blood but making a huge mess. You then speed to the door, making eye contact with John... he does not look happy.

Your mom is approaching the front steps when you tell him "ill contact you as soon as im home", he grunts something to himself and steps closer to the front door so your mom doesnt have an excuse to look around.

You open the door.

"My!! What happened Calhim!"

"I spilled some tea on my pants"

"Wow it must have been a whole lot!" she giggles, turning her eyes to your new coworker, "and you are...."

"John", he extends his hand.

"So you decided to hire my son? I'm very excited... you know this is his first job right? When does he start??"

John looks over at you "..We have yet to discuss that mam. Pleasure to meet you but I have work to do, bye" he starts to walk away and turns back, "I'll see you soon" he directs at you.

You and your mother walk back to the car, "he seems decent enough, but what a dump he lives in!"

you say nothing on the way home, arriving there about 6:50. Like always you tread upstairs, back into your room.

Opening your computer, you find a new email from rockstarjohn54,

"Im upset about earlier, but I haven't given up on you just yet... meet me by the 711 at 10PM, wear all black..
- John"

Seems like you have another 2.5 hours before you need to leave for 711.

its been an extremely long day, and you're tired but you know something to John and plan to show up later.. I guess the question is how to spend the time

>mess around on the internet [write in]
>train any skill [write in]
>play video games [write in]
>rest
>research
>[write in]
>write in.. your journal
>leave your room to make havoc
>go get a tattoo
>literally do anything

>>42954347
>Train up with our katana, maybe try figure out if we can bring it with us for tonights trip out.

>>42954379
>>42954347
This

>>42954347
>rest

>>42954384
>>42954382
>>42954379
Holy shit im sorry guys I should have said something earlier but im actually crapping out, (been posting for six hours) I mean obviously the quest is far from over.

Though next time it will start with training and rest.

Did you guys enjoy this at all, have any constructive criticism ? I've never ran a quest before, or GMed (though my ultimate goal is to GM) so I really found this to be good practice but also tiring as hell.

If you're interested enough in this I could continue it again, not sure if people would really care to keep up with a twitter idk

Just looking to hear your thoughts

Thanks, you guys made this fun for me btw

>>42954431
It was suprisingly interesting.

Also don't forget to archive it

>>42954452
Thanks you Bv)

How do I archive thread?

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67 KB JPG

>>42954431
As the guy who posted the first dark lord write in, I'm really satisfied with this quest and its direction. I would like you to continue it, or at least finish this first objective. Where do you see this going, not spoiling anything or just random ideas. Also, when do you think you'd run next if you plan on it?

>>42954431
The end of chapter 1.
I've enjoyed it, starting off as a NEET looking for a waifu and now a murderer for satan that shouted out "shredder!" after stabbing a dude, definitely good fun. I'd definitely be up for continuing the adventure.

>>42954458
Here: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/requestinterface.html

>>42954460
Thank you a lot im glad you stuck with it, even when my writing got slow

There's definitely a lot going on with John to be explored. I mean we know what Calhims after, but the world is much bigger than just wanting a girlfriend. Is the moral (??) Lmao

Definitely within the next few days, i'd say either Friday morningish/ sometime Sunday.

I'm coming out of the neet thing myself, which is why I was influenced to write this.. as in I might be hired soon but this is so fun so it will definitely become consistent (if not this than another quest)

Summary of what just happened (for next thread)

Have a goodnight everybody

http://pastebin.com/VyDMD4EN