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>>43206802
To put in perspective, a fist-sized chunk of Sharicite- literally the source of power for Gamindustri's goddesses, and worth its (exponential) weight in gold- would be enough to spark greed-driven battles between groups of adventurers. A chunk of Sharicite THIS big... well, some decades back, it would've sparked an apocalyptic world war between the goddesses themselves.

As you peer off the edge of your floating island, squinting down at the monstrosity on its own crater-filled rock, Mojang fidgets next to you, biting her lip. "Oneechan," she murmurs. "You're not really thinking of doing this, are you?"

You pause at the worry in her voice. If you can get past that Forgotten Creeper, keep it off your back, and cram that block of Sharicite into the bottomless pit that is your inventory, then you'll be home free. You can't USE the damned thing, but you've got a hunch that keeping it in your hands would be a hell of a lot better than leaving it out in the wild; for all you know, there are many, many worse things lurking out here that could make good use of Sharicite.

(Cont.)

oh nice it's back

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>>43206823
On the other hand, Mojang has literally just recovered from being half-dead, and she'd also been fending off a swarm of the small will-o'-wisps that seem to be native to the hyperdimensional realm. Getting her back to your fortress would not only let her rest, but it'll also give you the chance to better fortify your only sanctuary, and possibly the only thing standing between you and your messy demise.

The Forgotten Creeper could guard that thing long enough for you to get back here. On the other OTHER hand, there's no guarantee that it won't immediately get killed by bigger things lurking out here and even less of a guarantee that the Sharacite will still be here when you get back...

Hnngh. You need another damned drink.

[ ] [HOMEWARD BOUND] Mojang's well-being takes priority, and you really need to look after your fortress. You can come back for this later.
[ ] [SMASH-AND-GRAB] Run in, hit the Forgotten Creeper with everything you've got, and snag the Sharicite before it kills you in return.
[ ] [TAME IT, TAKE 2] That Forgotten Creeper is technically your and Mojang's creature. Give taming it one more shot.
[ ] [ASK MOJANG] Your surrogate little sister probably has a better head for these sorts of things, and she's a better judge of her own abilities.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>43206802
ZOMG! It's teh Rie!

>>43206846
>>[ ] [HOMEWARD BOUND] Mojang's well-being takes priority, and you really need to look after your fortress. You can come back for this later.
Don't forget we also have to deal with creepy teeth thing we made before we left.

>>43206846
>[ ] [SMASH-AND-GRAB] Run in, hit the Forgotten Creeper with everything you've got, and snag the Sharicite before it kills you in return.

[X] [ASK MOJANG]
[X] [WRITE-IN] ABOUT ENDER PEARLS
also, ration alcohol so it lasts longer
the idea is to pearl over, backpack the sharicite, then pearl back before getting brutally exploded

>>43206846
>[ ] [TAME IT, TAKE 2] That Forgotten Creeper is technically your and Mojang's creature. Give taming it one more shot.
>[ ] [ASK MOJANG] Your surrogate little sister probably has a better head for these sorts of things, and she's a better judge of her own abilities.

>>43206846
>[ ] [ASK MOJANG] Your surrogate little sister probably has a better head for these sorts of things, and she's a better judge of her own abilities.

>>43206932
>[X] [WRITE-IN]

Summon cat.

>>43206846
>[ ] [SMASH-AND-GRAB] Run in, hit the Forgotten Creeper with everything you've got, and snag the Sharicite before it kills you in return.
>[ ] [ASK MOJANG] Your surrogate little sister probably has a better head for these sorts of things, and she's a better judge of her own abilities.

Start praying to the RNGesus, anons

Sorry for the delay, guys, kept getting pulled aside for a while there! Looks like [ASK MOJANG] is the number one answer, leaning toward [SMASH-AND-GRAB] so- writing!

>>43207349
Well alright.

>>43207349
seems to be more grab than smash

>>43207349
Just wondering, how often do you update your ask.fm?

>>43206846
>[X] [ASK MOJANG]
>[X] [SMASH-AND-GRAB-BUT-MOSTLY-GRAB]

You're on the verge of making up your mind and telling Mojang to pack it up, 'cause you can't risk her getting hurt, especially not over what's certainly your own dwarven avarice screaming at you to take the huge fucking shiny thing and make it your own.

And then you turn to look at your surrogate little sister. Mojang's tired and half-dead and still reeling a little from getting thrown out of the goddamn universe as you know it, and she's not worried about getting dragged into another one of your harebrained schemes: she's worried for YOU.

You open your mouth. After a moment, you close your mouth again. She's... she's a big girl now. Bigger than you'll ever be, if her achievements as an up-and-coming Leanbox adventurer are any indication. Metric shitloads of people know of Mojang and her boundless creativity; hell, she's just about a household name in some areas of Gamindustri.

She's got a lot of experience under her belt, now. Might as well draw on that, huh?

For some reason, this simple act of asking a question floors Mojang. "Oh, you're- you're asking me what we should do?" Some of the exhasution clears out of her eyes, and she straightens up, adjusting her hoodie fastidiously.

... if it's really this rare of you to ask for Mojang's opinion on stuff like this, then it's a goddamned miracle that she hadn't grown up traumatized. /Too/ traumatized, rather.

The redhead peers down at the monster. "Well, if we're really taking that Sharicite, then... that monster's just a really big creeper, you know? It just happens to be one that spawns normal-sized creepers and spits out explosions, too!"

Yeah, that'd be the deadly dust, and- wait, she's in favor of going in there and stealing the thing, too??

(Cont.)

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>>43207962
"Ah, um! Well." Mojang's eyes are glittering something fierce. "It's a really, really big vein of ore, isn't it? It'd be a pity to just leave it there!"

... the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it.

"Anyway, we could distract it! One of us could run in there, while the other goes in and takes it. That just... comes with a slightly bigger risk of getting blown up a little."

What's the other option?

Your surrogate little sister turns to face you, her eyes glittering for another reason entirely. "We could disarm it," she suggests just a little too casually, a poorly-concealed smile clearly tugging at the edges of her lips.

It takes you a moment to realize what she's sayiABSOLUTELY NOT.

"But! But I believe in you, oneechan! Bay-chan! Urist-senpai!" Mojang chirrups, clasping her hands together and twisting from side to side. "Yours is the best impression I've ever seen in! In forever! And if it can disarm /me/, then it'll definitely work on a creeper like /that/!"

(Cont.)

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>>43207988
You clutch the sides of your face, feeling your face settle into a rictus of horrified denial. A smash-and-grab risks one or both of you getting exploded, and that's bad enough back in Gamindustri. Here, you have no guarantees that an ill-timed explosion /won't/ send you ricocheting off into the void, and in pieces to boot. You COULD try to summon an actual cat, but there's also no guarantee that it won't turn into a hideous monstrosity and try to kill you all (again).

As much as you hate to even CONSIDER admitting it... she's got a goddamned point.

[ ] [ANSWER IS CAT] You will do the thing. You will imitate a cat, and you will feel your much-battered dignity curdle into a ball of embarrassed self-loathing that you might not be able to bounce back from.
[ ] [SUMMON A CAT] You'll take the fucking risk.
[ ] [SMASH-AND-GRAB II] You'll distract the creepers. Mojang'll get the easier job of going in and taking the Sharicite.
[ ] [FUCK THIS] Okay, you'll deal with this later. Let's just go home.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>43207856
Honestly, whenever I 1) actually remember to, and/or 2) when I've got the time!

>[ ] [ANSWER IS CAT] You will do the thing. You will imitate a cat, and you will feel your much-battered dignity curdle into a ball of embarrassed self-loathing that you might not be able to bounce back from.

As if there were any other option.

>>43208010
> [ ] [ANSWER IS CAT] You will do the thing. You will imitate a cat, and you will feel your much-battered dignity curdle into a ball of embarrassed self-loathing that you might not be able to bounce back from.
Mwahahaha. Poor Urist.

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>>43208010
>[ ] [ANSWER IS CAT] You will do the thing. You will imitate a cat, and you will feel your much-battered dignity curdle into a ball of embarrassed self-loathing that you might not be able to bounce back from.
At least nobody is around to record it.

Loot before dignity

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>>43208010
>[ ] [ANSWER IS CAT] You will do the thing. You will imitate a cat, and you will feel your much-battered dignity curdle into a ball of embarrassed self-loathing that you might not be able to bounce back from.

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>>43208010
>[ ] [ANSWER IS CAT]

>>43208010
>[ ] [SMASH-AND-GRAB II] You'll distract the creepers. Mojang'll get the easier job of going in and taking the Sharicite.

Let's just go with the original recipe

if for some reason this doesn't work, ask mojang for better ideas

>>43208010
>[x] [ANSWER IS CAT] You will do the thing. You will imitate a cat, and you will feel your much-battered dignity curdle into a ball of embarrassed self-loathing that you might not be able to bounce back from.
for the shinies...

>>43208010
>>[ ] [ANSWER IS CAT] You will do the thing. You will imitate a cat, and you will feel your much-battered dignity curdle into a ball of embarrassed self-loathing that you might not be able to bounce back from.
Because fuck you Urist.

>>43208087
wait actually
>[X] WRITE-IN: Tame it with meows

>>43208190
Isn't that what [ANSWER IS CAT] is?

>>43208215
pretty much, but this way we get to keep it instead of merely temporarily pacifying it

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>>43208010
Right, it's basically unanimous!

[X] [ANSWER IS CAT]

>Urist Twelfthbay desperately tries not to succumb to her own embarrassment!
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
DC: 60

>>43208010
>[ ] [SMASH-AND-GRAB II] You'll distract the creepers. Mojang'll get the easier job of going in and taking the Sharicite.

Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>43208255
Better than the last summon DC

Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>43208255

Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>43208255
Well well well

>>43208271
>>43208276
aw hell yeah

Good work, team

>>43208010
>[ ] [ANSWER IS CAT]
Debase yourself for money!

If only Rokko were here to see, and record, this.

>>43208276
excellent job you.

>>43208255
Was this for the action to succeed or for Urist's pride to not be shattered forever?

>>43208478
Good question.

>>43208478
pretty sure they're the same thing

Pretty sure the answer is 'Yes'.

>>43208391
>Rokko had placed a tiny camera on Urist back in Leanbox.
>It's been actively recording since
>When we get back, she will download the footage
>She will end up showing Estelle and Vert the vid

...Serious? Or wishful thinking?

>>43208535
>>43208683
Do you just not know how to link to posts?

I do, but I keep screwing up.

Not used to chan format. At all.

Or I thought I did. Shit, need to check the FAQ again.

>>43208806
Just click the post # and type a reply.

>>43208823
Oh. Huh. Why wasn't that working before...

>>43208841
4chan is half retarded at times. don't worry too much about it.

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>>43208010
>>43208271
>>43208276
>>43208294
>[X] [ANSWER IS CAT]
>DC: 60.............
>PASSED!

Two minutes later, you're standing on the edge of the Forgotten Creeper's crater-filled island. Above and behind you, Mojang keeps dutiful watch, armed with a bow and a scant handful of quickly crafted arrows.

That's what she claims, at least. If she decides to pull out a goddamned phone and start recording this like-

Shit. No. Eyes forward- you really can't afford to get distracted right now. The Forgotten Creeper, wreathed in a corona of whitish-blue lightning, has turned its full and undivided attention toward you, hissing like a leaky gas pipe- you've never liked the sound, but THIS one's laced with an almost static-y undertone that resonates straight through your bones. The mottled green monstrosity looms over you, filling your vision, seeming almost six times taller than a normal dwarf; all around you, the regular-sized creepers swivel their heads with an almost robotic precision.

This is the kind of situation you'd normally face in full adamantite armor and all the crossbow bolts you can hold. Right now, you are armed with only the pair of cat ears sitting on your head and your own acting ability.

You can't fucking lie. You are scared shitless right now, your legs shaking like saplings in a storm.

"You can't back down, oneechan!" your little sister whispers in your ear via Therapist. "They'll give chase if you turn your back on them!" If it was anyone else, you'd think she was regretting pushing you to do this; since this is Mojang, you know full well that she believes in you.

That's all the impetus you need to go all-fucking-out with this Being A Cat nonsense. Building up your courage and un-clenching your vocal chords, crane your neck up at the Forgotten Creeper and give voice to a disgustingly tentative "mew?", which even trembles ever so slightly as it leaves your lips.

(Cont.)

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>>43209251
The Forgotten Creeper seems to hesitate. Behind you, you think you hear a choked-off whimper, and a flare of embarrassment burns through your brain fast enough to cause something to /snap/-

And you promptly dismiss it as unimportant. It IS unimportant. Cats give zero shits about what anybody thinks, strutting around like they're fucking royalty. You are a cat. You feel your fear and embarrassment draining away as you clear your mind, latching onto this one tidbit like a sober dwarf clings to a barrel of dwarven wine. You, indeed, are a cat, which are admired for their aloofness.

"Meow," you purr as you daintily sashay forward, head held high. The creepers slither a few steps back, surely repulsed by your feline grace. As they fucking should be. "Mew!" You pause and stare at each of them in turn before promptly ignoring them and walking through the ever-widening circle of creepers. The Forgotten Creeper clumsily tries to get out of your way, but you're on it in a moment, and it begins hissing fervently as it builds up enough of a charge to-

- do nothing, because you're sitting on its foot. You ignore the monster's horrified stillness, licking the back of your hand before running it down the side of your face; only when you are done do you allow the Forgotten Creeper to skedaddle away, taking its posse of monsters with it. They quickly disappear into the warrens and from your mind, and Mojang's running toward you, almost skipping in her happiness.

"Oneechan! That- that was amazing! You were the epitome of catness! That was so... oneechan?"

You squint up at Mojang, frowning thoughtfully.

"Oneechan, what're you-"

>Urist Twelfthbay, Stray Cat (Tame) has adopted Mojang, Minecrafter.

On hindsight, that was probably the worst possible moment for you to come back to your senses.

(Cont.)

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>>43209272

"Oneechan!" Mojang knocks on your door for the tenth time in a row. "C'mon, it's already been, like, an hour!"

You don't answer, because you're far too busy trying to become one with the bed and disappear into blessed nonexistence. You'd basically run straight home (with Mojang hot on your heels), entered your fortress, slammed the drawbridge shut, speed-crafted a door and a bed, and locked yourself into a one-tile small bedroom while dying of hideous embarrassment.

"I promise I won't tell anyone about that- that thing!" Your surrogate little sister pleads. She's gotten pretty good at trying not to sound giggly. "Please, you should come back outside! Let's build something, okay? Or, um, talk about what we should do next!"

What's gonna happen next is you never coming out of your room ever again! Except to eat cats! Every cat in the world! You're gonna eat ALL the fucking cats if it'll help wipe out all memory of this moment from the annals of history!

"Oneechaaaan!"

~~BAD END~~

... okay, yeah, not really. You snap out of your funk before too long, because when you get right down to it, your survival instinct's far stronger than your dignity.

Probably.

(Cont.)

>>43209272
BUT THATS FORBIDDEN LOVE

>>43209303
>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:
[ ] [SHARICITE] Inspect the Sharicite lode you'd burned ALL YOUR DIGNITY to acquire. The fucking thing had better be worth it.
[ ] [FORTIFY] Your fortress is barebones- it's the barest of bones right now. You're airtight right now, which is good, but you've got to at least set up some traps and a watchtower, and Mojang can probably do something with the surrounding terrain.
[ ] [AMENITIES] Farming, water, and room to live comfortably are your top priorities, so you need to forage from your surroundings to get the supplies needed to become self-sufficient.
[ ] [SCOUT] You need to scout around the island making up your fortress. More specifically, you need to get the lay of the land (void?) AROUND your fortress, and see if you can't find anyone else from Gamindustri (or threats you need to be on the lookout for).

>>43209323
>[ ] [SHARICITE] Inspect the Sharicite lode you'd burned ALL YOUR DIGNITY to acquire. The fucking thing had better be worth it.

>>43209323
>[ ] [SHARICITE] Inspect the Sharicite lode you'd burned ALL YOUR DIGNITY to acquire. The fucking thing had better be worth it.
I don't believe you.

This is obviously some coma induced dream.

>>43209323
>[ ] [SHARICITE] Inspect the Sharicite lode you'd burned ALL YOUR DIGNITY to acquire. The fucking thing had better be worth it.
Fucking loot. Better be worth it.

>>43209323
>[ ] [SHARICITE] Inspect the Sharicite lode you'd burned ALL YOUR DIGNITY to acquire. The fucking thing had better be worth it.
> [ ] [AMENITIES] Farming, water, and room to live comfortably are your top priorities, so you need to forage from your surroundings to get the supplies needed to become self-sufficient.

>>43209323
>[ ] [AMENITIES] Farming, water, and room to live comfortably are your top priorities, so you need to forage from your surroundings to get the supplies needed to become self-sufficient.
If we get stuck in fort, I want to have food/water/booze stored away so we can last longer and keep our strength up.

>>43209323
>[ ] [SHARICITE] Inspect the Sharicite lode you'd burned ALL YOUR DIGNITY to acquire. The fucking thing had better be worth it.

Who cares? We can just buy new dignity!

>>43209323
[ ] [FORTIFY]

>>43209373
>CHOOSE ONE
Oh right, just the sharicite then

>>43209323
>[ ] [SHARICITE] Inspect the Sharicite lode you'd burned ALL YOUR DIGNITY to acquire. The fucking thing had better be worth it.

>>43209323
>[ ] [FORTIFY] Your fortress is barebones- it's the barest of bones right now. You're airtight right now, which is good, but you've got to at least set up some traps and a watchtower, and Mojang can probably do something with the surrounding terrain.

We can examine the sharicite AFTER it's safe

>>43209323
>[ ] [FORTIFY] Your fortress is barebones- it's the barest of bones right now. You're airtight right now, which is good, but you've got to at least set up some traps and a watchtower, and Mojang can probably do something with the surrounding terrain.
>[ ] [AMENITIES] Farming, water, and room to live comfortably are your top priorities, so you need to forage from your surroundings to get the supplies needed to become self-sufficient.

we do one, Mojang does the other. Division of labour, yo. Sharicite can WAIT. BECAUSE WE ARE PARANOID, and it isn't booze. Do you really want to examine it without booze?

>>43209323
>[ ] [SHARICITE] Inspect the Sharicite lode you'd burned ALL YOUR DIGNITY to acquire. The fucking thing had better be worth it.

>>43209303
>[X] SHARICITE

>>43209323
[X] [FORTIFY] Your fortress is barebones- it's the barest of bones right now. You're airtight right now, which is good, but you've got to at least set up some traps and a watchtower, and Mojang can probably do something with the surrounding terrain.

>>43209323
>[x] [SHARICITE] Inspect the Sharicite lode you'd burned ALL YOUR DIGNITY to acquire. The fucking thing had better be worth it.
>[x] [AMENITIES] Farming, water, and room to live comfortably are your top priorities, so you need to forage from your surroundings to get the supplies needed to become self-sufficient.

>>43209323
>[ ] [FORTIFY] Your fortress is barebones- it's the barest of bones right now. You're airtight right now, which is good, but you've got to at least set up some traps and a watchtower, and Mojang can probably do something with the surrounding terrain.
is there such a thing as Fool's Sharicite?

Incidentally, I noticed sharicite almost rhymes with genocide.

>>43209882
Instead of being made of crystallized shares, it is made of of crystallized semen.

>>43209906
what
no it doesn't

>>43209906
Where the fuck are you from that those almost rhyme?

>>43209959
A place where '-ite' and '-ide' sound similar, I'd guess.

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If I recall, only Goddesses can use the Sharicite. It is valuable for regulars, but otherwise has no use for them.

>>43209323
>[ ] [FORTIFY] Your fortress is barebones- it's the barest of bones right now. You're airtight right now, which is good, but you've got to at least set up some traps and a watchtower, and Mojang can probably do something with the surrounding terrain.

>>43209323
>[ ] [SHARICITE] Inspect the Sharicite lode you'd burned ALL YOUR DIGNITY to acquire. The fucking thing had better be worth it.

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>>43209959
>>43209981
Germany?

>>43209323
[X] [FORTIFY] Your fortress is barebones- it's the barest of bones right now. You're airtight right now, which is good, but you've got to at least set up some traps and a watchtower, and Mojang can probably do something with the surrounding terrain.

>>43209323
[X] [FORTIFY] Your fortress is barebones- it's the barest of bones right now. You're airtight right now, which is good, but you've got to at least set up some traps and a watchtower, and Mojang can probably do something with the surrounding terrain.

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>>43210052
Yeah, you need a CPU crystal or whatever it was called.

[Sharemities] or [Sharetify] We spent all our dignity on the sharicite, so we should at least do something with it, like eat it, but we need a second plan or so. Plus, anything can go fun while we're at it.

>>43210175
Make a planepacked out of it. That way anybody who wants to actually use it must look upon it and potentially get driven mad as they see everything.

>>43210193
planepacked is good. I support.

>>43210193
Planepacked?

>>43210276
>He doesn't know about Planepacked.

http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/Planepacked

>>43210193
Seems like it'd complicate the resell ability.

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>>43209323
>[X] [SHARICITE]

Eventually, you leave the safety of your room, your ego having sufficiently recovered to allow you to function like a normal dwarf. Sure, Mojang basically had to whip together a cake from what materials she had left, along with repeated promises to never ever EVER talk about this incident with another living soul OR any inanimate objects, but you're still obscenely proud of your own dwarven resilience.

"Anyway!" Mojang's still tittering a bit, her face red as she studiously avoids your gaze, but you're feeling generous and will thus allow her to continue living. "I couldn't find a better place to leave the Sharicite, so..."

Floating smack-dab in the middle of your stockpile space, huh. Well, it's really not like you were using the space for anything else, you growl as you stare up at the luminescent chunk of crystalline stone.

Sharicite. The crystallized form of all the shares received by the CPU-goddesses of Gamindustri, and the physical manifestation of all the belief that's being poured into the CPUs and their nations. Supposedly, each nation's Basilicom has a two-story tall chunk of Sharicite squirreled away in their catacombs, serving as a locus for all that worship (whether by straight-up "Praise the Lady" junk to adventurers completing Guild quests in the name of some nation or other).

Legend has it that these mega-Sharicite chunks are all grown from the very first shares each CPU received from their very first days in existence. There's also the persistent rumor explaining why Sharicite can be rarely found beneath Gamindustri's crust: they're the remains of long-dead, long-defeated goddesses (though the current extant goddesses sure as hell aren't confirming or denying that).

(Cont.)

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>>43210311
Anyway, everyone can agree on the direct correlation between a CPU's strength and the amount of shares she's packing at the moment. Naturally, really stupid adventurers who sought ultimate power and/or ascent to goddesshood have tried their luck at internalizing Sharicite in some form or other. Some cheetah-girl chucklefuck back in the 8-bit era swallowed a tiny shard and promptly glitched hard enough to moonwalk into space. Just recently, some truck-based adventurer thought that maybe she could harness Sharicite's power by snorting it as a powder, and learned the hard way that the crystal is nigh-impossible to crush for a /reason/ when she (and her immediate surroundings) were instantly vaporized by the release of whatever energies lie dormant in the thing.

... so anyway, what you're trying to say is that you have no goddamn clue what you're going to do with the Sharicite. You sure as hell can't use the stuff, you're stranded in the hyperdimension and can't sell it for megabucks to a goddess who ISN'T Arfoire, and- quite frankly- you're almost afraid to even TOUCH the damned thing.

>"Please touch the Sharicite, Urist."

...

You look at Mojang. Mojang looks back at you, eyes wide. Immediately, you drop your talking backpack and scoot as far away as possible from the fuckign thing because WHY IS YOUR BACKPACK TELLING YOU TO TOUCH THE SHINY THING, YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING KILL IT.

"And then I'll dump water on it!" Mojang stutters, pulling out a sloshing bucket. Attagirl, following up on your threats. "And then I'll wall it in!"

>"No! Don't do that!"

There's that voice again, but just slightly fainter. Your backpack rustles, pops open on its own, and the things that float out narrowly avoid getting skewered by your crossbow bolts.

(Cont.)

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>>43210354
... rocks. Two flat rocks, swirling in the air. Two flat rocks that you'd picked up from killing those big insectoid centaur-swordsbeasts, which you'd dismissed as being absolutely useless plain stones, and are currently glowing in time with the Sharicite's faintly pulsing luminescence.

Clearly, you are a terrible fucking appraiser.

>"Please don't be alarmed, Urist- and Mojang. I do not have time for you two to be alarmed. We have much to talk about."

And apparently you're terrible at remembering voices, because you're JUST NOW recognizing who you're talking to. Judging by that childish high-pitched voice, and the clipped tones of a youngster trying to sound as official as possible-

>"I am Histoire. It is truly my pleasure to meet the both of you, although I wish it wasn't in such trying circumstances. m(_ _)m"

...

You fire off another barrage of shots and, in between Histoire's panicked shrieks and rocks dancing through the air, Mojang has to wrest your crossbow away from you.

[TO BE CONTINUED]

>>43210354
time for tiny historie

>Captcha is panckes
goddammit now i want Ihop but I'm broke.

>>43210354
> some truck-based adventurer
How does this relate to Phantom?

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Okay, it's closing in on obscenely-late-for-a-weekday-o'-clock, so I'm afraid I'll have to end the thread here! Apologies for the super-delayed start this time (as opposed to the usually delayed start, goddamn), and we'll pick up next time on Saturday, 10/24, starting from about 9-ish pm EST!

As usual, I can be reached at https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest, and questions can go here or http://ask.fm/BlorpQuest/. Hope you guys enjoyed the thread, and I'll catch you all next time, so good night!

As for the bonus material, that... that will have to wait a while, since I've been getting swamped. Apologies; I should have something by the next thread!

>>43210421
OH GOD DAMN YOU BLORP!
marry me and make your cum dump you bastard

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>>43210486

>>43210354
>"Please touch the Sharicite, Urist."
This is making me excited. Just what will happen when we do? Was what I said in the previous thread actually true?

Histoire was who we met in our secluded dream dimension wasn't it?

>>43210527
i think so.

>>43210482
wait, who was cheetah girl?

>>43210514
> "Sharicite, show us on this doll where she touched you."

>>43210541
I suppose it is a somewhat roundabout reference to Jaguar.

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>>43210527
Yes.

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>>43210514
Well, think of it like this: what's the worst that could possibly happen?

>>43210527
Yup, that's it in a nutshell!

>>43210541
Cheetahmen II, a game that honestly should not have been released in its state but, well.

>>43210541
I think it might be referring to a really old game that was something like 50 or so 1/4th finished games.

>>43210564
Mutated into a horrific monster.

>>43210564
>>43210570
It's from Action 52
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZlYGN5W2Yg

>"Please touch the Sharicite, Urist."
We're gonna touch the shiny aren't we.

>>43210605
Yeah, that is the one.

Belatedly: holy shit, we've hit 50 threads, and it's also been about a year.

Happy 50th! I wish I had some sort of bonus prepared, but the only thing I can do is answer one of the earlier questions I'd gotten about the quest: what if we'd started Urist out in one of the other nations, instead of in Lowee?

Planeptune: Urist would have bumped into the moe personification of the Sakura Wars series: a lesser-known series that's never come out of Japan, and is currently languishing in no-new-games hell. In between fighting in steam-powered mechs (and learning how to better harness Mechanisms), would have tried teaching Urist how to sing and dance in hopes of inducting her into an operetta troupe. As she's VERY close to Neptune, Urist could very well have started fighting in earnest for her role as the main character and/or dealing with a goddess who literally has nothing better to do.

Lastation: Urist would have bumped into the moe personification of the Metal Gear series, which... eventually would have led to some really depressing shit given the current situation between Kojima and Konami, though we sure as hell wouldn't have known it at the time. Urist would've gotten one hell of a tutelage of traps and stealth, and also a chance to investigate what's going on with Noire. Depending on how that'd have been handled, the quest would've gone down a markedly different route.

Leanbox: Urist would have bumped into Mojang, and the entire first arc probably would have been Urist trying to avoid her little sister figure, figuring out that that ain't gonna happen, and then coming to terms with whatever the hell's happening with their relationship. Urist would have gotten drafted into working for Vert, which would have made things happen a hell of a lot faster re: Arfoire's shit.

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>>43210864
I do kinda like Neptune bugging Urist.

What about K-Sha?

>>43210864
Which console is Rokko classified under?

>>43210966
Lowee.

>>43210975
No regrets

>>43211020
That doesn't even qualify as a joke anymore.

>>43211045
Uhh what? I just like Rokko more than the other two, and we met up with mojang in the end.

>>43210864
Sounds like picking Planeptune would have been a blast. Leanbox would have been great too, what with more Mojang sister shenanigans (and Vert)

just a thought: with a dwarf-powered computer we can become a CPU ourselves. (and it is possible to build a turing-capable machine in DF, so...)

...is it wrong that DF brings out my megalomaniac side

>>43210482
Who's the truck based adventurer? The simulator games?

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>>43211135
If we went with Lastation, we could have been Noire's first friend.

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>>43210864
>a lesser-known series that's never come out of Japan
That's not true, Blorp. Sakura Taisen V was released on the PS2 and Wii in the States as So Long, My Love.
We've also gotten alot of the anime over here.

>>43211167
I don't even know if Urist would tolerate her tsundere bullshit.

>>43211219
She isn't tsundere against everyone you know?

>>43211160
Big Rigs?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMnMOEB1zmE

>>43211254
4 games in one
Over the road, under the road, mountain, and Out in nowhere racing

>>43210564
>Well, think of it like this: what's the worst that could possibly happen?

>a section of gamindustry working on DF rules
It's going to be the the stomping ground of the highest level suicidal adventurers and that's even BEFORE anybody discovers terrifying/savage biomes.