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>>43511382
Veins start standing out on Doomgirl's neck. "At this particular moment in time," she rumbles- you're sort of envious that her voice is so effortlessly /deep/- "I am not seeing how that's supposed to reassure me. Unless you think I'm stupid. Do you think I'm stupid?"

Mojang stops you from answering (in a way that would probably get all your dumb asses killed). "Okay, that's enough of that!" she chirrups brightly, clapping her hands together once. "If it makes you feel better, I can brick up the front entrance with a layer of cobblestone. Would that help? Both of you?" she adds, giving you a /look/ you recognize all too well.

You nod quickly; after a moment's hesitation, Doomgirl nods as well.

"Good! Now come on," the Minecrafter shoos you two away from the entrance. "This water isn't going away anytime soon, so let's get busy, okay?"

(Cont.)

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>>43511399
... well, she's got you there, you muse as the three of you split up. Little wonder your surrogate lil' sis has come so far in the fucking world- she's good at these sorts of touchy-feely-almost-violent little situations.

>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:
[ ] [MOJANG: ENTRANCE] May as well catch up with the Minecrafter, huh? Besides, you've been meaning to properly fortify the entrance to your Hyperdimension fortress (for when the water recedes, obviously).
[ ] [DOOMGIRL: PATROL] Try to get to know your newest acquaintance better as she secures the premises- which is important, since you and Mojang sort of left the front door open, last time you were out.
[ ] [SHARICITE] Inspect the big old lode of Sharicite a little more, and see if you can't glean any more insights. Seriously, the Shares Crystal is big enough to be fit for a goddess.
[ ] [SOLO: CAVERN BREACH] Leave everyone else to their duties. If you can at least breach the first cavern level (and seal it up afterwards), plants and trees will spread and start growing in the muddy parts of your fortress, and you can get food started.
[ ] [ALL IN: CAVERN EXPLORATION] Interrupt and gather everyone else up, breach the first cavern, and secure that sunnovabitch. You need access to food and fresh water, and you've put it off for far too long.

>>43511415
>[ ] [SOLO: CAVERN BREACH] Leave everyone else to their duties. If you can at least breach the first cavern level (and seal it up afterwards), plants and trees will spread and start growing in the muddy parts of your fortress, and you can get food started.
Beep Boop, nice see you again Blorp, on time even.Ish.

>>43511415
>[ ] [SHARICITE] Inspect the big old lode of Sharicite a little more, and see if you can't glean any more insights. Seriously, the Shares Crystal is big enough to be fit for a goddess.
Heck. I'm still wondering just how it got into Mojang's island. Not to mention why it exists here anyway.

>>43511415
>[x] [SOLO: CAVERN BREACH] Leave everyone else to their duties. If you can at least breach the first cavern level (and seal it up afterwards), plants and trees will spread and start growing in the muddy parts of your fortress, and you can get food started.
Work those skills before skill rust sets in.

>>43511415
>[ ] [SHARICITE] Inspect the big old lode of Sharicite a little more, and see if you can't glean any more insights. Seriously, the Shares Crystal is big enough to be fit for a goddess.

who needs food or friendship when you've got shiny things?

>>43511415
>[ ] [DOOMGIRL: PATROL] Try to get to know your newest acquaintance better as she secures the premises- which is important, since you and Mojang sort of left the front door open, last time you were out.

>>43511415
[X] [SOLO: CAVERN BREACH]

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i have a thing i dont know what im doing help

>>43511415
>[ ] [SHARICITE]
touch shiny?

>>43511415
>[ ] [SOLO: CAVERN BREACH] Leave everyone else to their duties. If you can at least breach the first cavern level (and seal it up afterwards), plants and trees will spread and start growing in the muddy parts of your fortress, and you can get food started.

Here I am, at 4 AM, waiting to participate in glorious dwarfy goodness. ...sometimes being european sucks.

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>>43511575
Nice. I like Urist's face there.

I feel like there could have been a starry eyed Vert in there too. Just saying.

>>43511415
>[ ] [SOLO: CAVERN BREACH] Leave everyone else to their duties. If you can at least breach the first cavern level (and seal it up afterwards), plants and trees will spread and start growing in the muddy parts of your fortress, and you can get food started.
>[ ] [THERAPIST] Nothing like chatting with friends and/or new acquaintances telepathically while you work, right?

>>43511415
>[ ] [SHARICITE] Inspect the big old lode of Sharicite a little more, and see if you can't glean any more insights. Seriously, the Shares Crystal is big enough to be fit for a goddess.

>>43511415
[ ] [ALL IN: CAVERN EXPLORATION] Interrupt and gather everyone else up, breach the first cavern, and secure that sunnovabitch. You need access to food and fresh water, and you've put it off for far too long.

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Alright, looks like it's a majority in favor of [SOLO: CAVERN BREACH], so- writing!

>>43511464
>on time even.Ish.

YEAH, about that, I only noticed I was late at about... 9:25. I'd be more specific when writing scheduled thread times, but I'm afraid that writing "next thread starting between 9:00-9:30 pm" will lock me in a vicious cycle of growing later and later.

>>43511575
>implying I would ever send help if it would stop the spice from flowing

Jesus, that is literally the quest in a nutshell. Thanks again, anon!

>>43511415
>[] SOLO: CAVERN BREACH

>>43511584
Cry some more, at least you aren't living on the other side of the world and have to choose between participating in this quest and not getting fired.

>>43511860
Why so hostile man?

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>>43511575
Anon, I'm afraid I have defiled your pure and honest efforts. I regret nothing.

>>43511762
>Jesus, that is literally the quest in a nutshell.
b-but what about the onee-samas?

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>>43511918
>b-but what about the onee-samas?
In this world, when a little sister is born, so is a big sis. Usually.

>>43511415
>[X] [SOLO: CAVERN BREACH]

Your fortress isn't very big yet, but your /realm/ apparently runs pretty damn deep.

You know this because you escaped from the void shark by tunneling through the underbelly of Endinomon, the landmass floating through the hyperdimension (the void, not your fortress), upon which Hyperdimension sits (your fortress, not the void). From there, you had about ten minutes to dig upward to your fort and close the drawbridge you and Mojang had left open, sealing Hyperdimension against an ocean's worth of water.

Even with your and Mojang's combined digging prowess, it was a close fucking thing. And lucky, too; who knows what would've happened if you'd accidentally cut through lava or, Armok forbid, Hidden Fun stuff?

Anyway, what you're getting at is that you know damn well there's enough space for three cavern levels and possibly a magma ocean. You're really not sure how Hidden Fun Stuff would figure into the equation, so just- first fucking things first, alright? Hit the first cavern, and you'll have edible things growing everywhere in no time flat, since your one and only fortress level is pretty much 99% dirt.

Easier said than done, but there's really nothing for it.

(Cont.)

>>43511918
>>43512026
Any girl can become an Onee-chan as long as they don't give up!

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>>43511762
always a pleasure!

>>43511918

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>>43512117
With a sigh, you roll up your sleeves, turn one liquid metal gauntlet into a pick, and start striking the earth. You do what you've always done in such circumstances: tunnel out an easily-fortified hallway some distance from the main fortress, dig out a stairwell, and start going down, praying that you find something. Really, the only thing you can DO is dig blindly until you hit the first cavern level, so-

... wait.

What if there was another way?

[ ] [NOPE] Just dig down the old-fashioned way. Sure, you won't have any control over how you breach the first cavern, but it's better than glitching the hell out on an island in the middle of an ocean-filled void.
[ ] [DF HACK: PROSPECT] Tinker around with this thing a little. It should be more effective in your you-made territory, and maybe you can find some sort of prospecting functionality that'll cut down on the risks.
[ ] [DF HACK: REVEAL] Go all-out and tinker with DF Hack, and try to get it to reveal as much of the terrain below you as you can. Sure, it's risky as all hell, but if you can pull this off, the rewards will be worth it. Maybe. Hopefully. Or you might just die.

>>43512149
>[ ] [DF HACK: PROSPECT] Tinker around with this thing a little. It should be more effective in your you-made territory, and maybe you can find some sort of prospecting functionality that'll cut down on the risks.

>>43512149
>[X] [DF HACK: PROSPECT] Tinker around with this thing a little. It should be more effective in your you-made territory, and maybe you can find some sort of prospecting functionality that'll cut down on the risks.
Well, I'll be! There's FUN in them thar hills!

>>43512149
>[ ] [DF HACK: PROSPECT] Tinker around with this thing a little. It should be more effective in your you-made territory, and maybe you can find some sort of prospecting functionality that'll cut down on the risks.

>>43512149
>[ ] [DF HACK: PROSPECT] Tinker around with this thing a little. It should be more effective in your you-made territory, and maybe you can find some sort of prospecting functionality that'll cut down on the risks.

>>43512149
>[ ] [DF HACK: REVEAL] Go all-out and tinker with DF Hack, and try to get it to reveal as much of the terrain below you as you can. Sure, it's risky as all hell, but if you can pull this off, the rewards will be worth it. Maybe. Hopefully. Or you might just die.

Time for some FUN!

>>43512149
>[ ] [NOPE] Just dig down the old-fashioned way. Sure, you won't have any control over how you breach the first cavern, but it's better than glitching the hell out on an island in the middle of an ocean-filled void.
Do we really want to invoke the RNGesus this early?

>>43512149
>[] DF Hack: Prospect

Seems like the easier option.

>>43512149
>[ ] [DF HACK: PROSPECT]
Let's see how many digits of slade is down there!

>>43512149
>[x] [DF HACK: REVEAL] Go all-out and tinker with DF Hack, and try to get it to reveal as much of the terrain below you as you can. Sure, it's risky as all hell, but if you can pull this off, the rewards will be worth it. Maybe.
What could possibly go wrong!?

>>43512149
>[ ] [DF HACK: REVEAL] Go all-out and tinker with DF Hack, and try to get it to reveal as much of the terrain below you as you can. Sure, it's risky as all hell, but if you can pull this off, the rewards will be worth it. Maybe. Hopefully. Or you might just die.
All in motherfucker

>>43512149
>[ ] [DF HACK: REVEAL]

All or nothing baby

>>43512149
>[ ] [DF HACK: REVEAL] Go all-out and tinker with DF Hack, and try to get it to reveal as much of the terrain below you as you can. Sure, it's risky as all hell, but if you can pull this off, the rewards will be worth it. Maybe. Hopefully. Or you might just die.

>not picking the riskiest option
>ever

>>43512204
>Not wanting to invoke RNGesus this early

>>43512149
>[ ] [DF HACK: PROSPECT]

>>43512204
Why is this a question

>>43512204
If you need to ask this, then you clearly aren't ready

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Looks like [DF HACK: PROSPECT] beats out the other option(s), so writing!

But first:

>Urist Twelfthbay uses DF Hack: prospect!
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
DC: The higher, the better.
Determines the mineral makeup of Endinomon, among other things.

Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>43512427

Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>43512427

MINERALS

Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>43512427

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>43512427

>>43512445
>>43512451
>>43512455
GOLD

>>43512455
YAY

>>43512445
>>43512451
Oh shi-

>>43512455
Oh, praise the RNGesus

>>43512473
No.

COTTON CANDY

Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>43512427

Digg'n time.

>>43512455
>>43512496
NINTENDIUM

>>43512554
We aren't in Lowee and the realm was made in international waters.

Enriched Patreum?

>>43512578
that just means the capacity for bits and pieces of all 4 of them.

>>43512603
Kickstartium isotopes?

>>43512578
Hyperdimensian?

>>43512636
Did Bay 12 Games ever have a Kickstarter?

>>43512603
Another giant Sharicite?

>>43512149
>[ ] [DF HACK: PROSPECT] Tinker around with this thing a little. It should be more effective in your you-made territory, and maybe you can find some sort of prospecting functionality that'll cut down on the risks.

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>>43512636
Gehaburnium?

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>>43512707

>>43512636
Gabenite? Freewarium? Internet Piracite?

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>>43512729

>>43512753
Nokianite?

>>43512814
Don't get ahead of yourself, anon, we didn't roll 100.

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>>43512729

>>43512814
SAPPHIRE AND STEEL

>>43512836
Oh Nepgear. So cute.

Inb4 we somehow 'steal' her away from Neptune too. I'd laugh my ass of if it happens

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>>43512836

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>>43512872
She doesn't exist in the dimension Urist comes from. Yet.

>>43512917
True.

But we aren't in Urist's original universe currently anyway. We're in between the universes. Anything is possible...

>>43512984
Urist is the one who brings the CPU Sisters into existence

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>>43512149
>[X] [DF HACK: PROSPECT]
>Highest roll: 85!

Under normal circumstances, it'd be real damn easy to resist the siren call of seriously tinkering with your strange suite of glitch-causing (and glitch-fixing) skills. Under THESE circumstances, it's easier to /justify/ using your powers like this. Because really, you can't- you can't risk busting through bad parts of the cavern levels, right? It's worth just a little peek, right? You can't risk digging accidentally bypassing ALL the caverns to hit the magma sea, right?

Your tongue snakes out, whetting your dry, parched, alcohol-deprived lips. Suddenly, your armor feels heavy, the pick in (on?) your hand feels heavy. Hell, even your dirt-brown braids feel heavy.

... you really need any plants that could help brew some nice booze, right? It's been too damn long since you last had a drink (a whole half day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), and the only thing standing between you and a functioning still are a few rock layers.

As you quietly pull up DFHack, you keep muttering shakily to yourself. It's not like you're trying to hack the very fabric of (un)reality in order to pierce the veil of the unseen, possibly exposing yourself to all sorts of nasty hyperdimension shit, right? That'd just be stupid. Terrifying and gutsy, but really, really stupid. You're just- you're just taking a peek. Just one, small peek-

>prospect all

Immediately, you're hit by so much information- a whole flood of it- that you sway in place before bracing yourself against the wall. Words and numbers file down your vision, everything from base materials to layer materials to liquids to plants to ores to gems to trees, all follwoed by numbers that go like "438 Z: -2..143." Tower-cap, prickle berries, mushroom types, underground and aboveground water sources, underground LAVA sources, and and and and-

(Cont.)

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>>43513134
You shake your head and grit your teeth, forcing the information to dance to your bidding. The text slows from a torrent to a crawl, and then you're free to scroll through it on your own terms. For your purposes? All you really need are the trees, and pinpointing the depth at which the underground trees grow will lead you straight to the caverns. You won't break into the ceiling and almost plummet to your death, or open up a stairwell underwater, or require any sort of messy rebuilding to stop flying monsters from slipping through cracks in your architecture and ravaging you in your sleep.

You get the information you need in about ten seconds. The remaining five minutes are spent scrolling through the ores, and your eyes narrow the further in you get, because you... you either don't recognize these names, not at first glance, or you can't figure out how to even begin forging them. There's no iron ore, no copper ore, not even any decorative ores or the sort of stuff you'd ignore or chuck into a quantum garbage dump.

Seriously, how the hell're you gonna deal with Nintendium, Seganium, or Xboxite? What the fuck is Ataricite or Enginium? Who would even MAKE an "ore of steam"?

Right. Questions for later, when you have those bloody rocks in hand. With coordinates firmly in mind, you count off the units of dirt around you, reorient yourself, and get to digging. It's not long before-

(Cont.)

>>43513166
>You have discovered an expansive cavern deep underground.

- you break through the rock wall, and the atmosphere changes. You inhale deeply, a smile on your face as you take in the scent of, of /living things/- plants and trees, and even the faint change in humidity that tells you that there's a water source somewhere close by. You'd be happier if you could sense all this through your beard, but y'know what? Your nose and braids will have to do.

Peering through the opening, you can see that you've chosen your break-through point pretty damn well: you're on a cavern floor, there aren't any strange hills or winding constricting passageways around you, and there's enough room to construct an entrance hall of sorts, something you can fortify against any underground monstrosities. As far as the eye can see, the thick, meaty trunks of tower-caps and fungiwood reach for the ceiling, and the mud of the cavern is carpeted with plants: plump helmets, cave wheat, and all that jazz.

(Cont.)

>>43513166
Blorp, are we ever going to be actually able to use the Hyperdimension materials?

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>>43513189
You glance back and forth.

... nothing in sight. You COULD go in and pick a few shrubs, and be out with instantly booze-able plants before anyone is the wiser. Hell, you could even knock down a few of the ores from the walls.

[ ] [NOPE NOPE NOPE] Seal the cavern and get back up. Plants will grow in your fortress soon enough. You'd best fortify the hallway between your fortress and the cavern before trying anything fancy, bucko.
[ ] [PLANT GATHERING] Go pick a few plump helmets and things. It won't take too long, and you can get a farming/brewing industry going right off the bat. The rewards outweigh the risks, here.
[ ] [MINE SOME ORES] You're honestly curious about some of these newfangled ores. Dig a few of them out before scurrying back into your fort, because why not? Plants will sprout soon enough, anyway.
[ ] [PLANTS AND ORES] Go do all the things. C'mon, you totally have time. It's not like there's anything else living down here right now, right? What's the worst that- no, you're not finishing that fucking thought.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>43513166
>plump helmets, cave wheat, and all that jazz.
NO TIME FOR (CONT.), START BREWING NOW

>>43513166
>Ataricite

Wood paneled armor?

>>43513208
>[ ] [PLANT GATHERING] Go pick a few plump helmets and things. It won't take too long, and you can get a farming/brewing industry going right off the bat. The rewards outweigh the risks, here.

>>43513208
>[ ] [PLANT GATHERING] Go pick a few plump helmets and things. It won't take too long, and you can get a farming/brewing industry going right off the bat. The rewards outweigh the risks, here.
Booze up!

>>43513208
>[ ] [PLANTS AND ORES] Go do all the things. C'mon, you totally have time. It's not like there's anything else living down here right now, right? What's the worst that- no, you're not finishing that fucking thought.
Nothin's here after all, this isn't Urist's boozeless mind speaking

>>43513208
>[ ] [NOPE NOPE NOPE] Seal the cavern and get back up. Plants will grow in your fortress soon enough. You'd best fortify the hallway between your fortress and the cavern before trying anything fancy, bucko.

Better play conservatively for now

>>43513208
>[ ] [PLANTS AND ORES] Go do all the things. C'mon, you totally have time. It's not like there's anything else living down here right now, right? What's the worst that- no, you're not finishing that fucking thought.

>>43513208
>[] [Workers] Summon dorfs to harvest plants and ores.

>>43513208
>[ ] [PLANT GATHERING] Go pick a few plump helmets and things. It won't take too long, and you can get a farming/brewing industry going right off the bat. The rewards outweigh the risks, here.

BOOZE LEVELS DANGEROUSLY LOW: REFUEL IMMEDIATELY

>>43513208
>[X] [PLANT GATHERING] Go pick a few plump helmets and things. It won't take too long, and you can get a farming/brewing industry going right off the bat. The rewards outweigh the risks, here.

>>43513208
>[ ] [PLANTS AND ORES] Go do all the things. C'mon, you totally have time. It's not like there's anything else living down here right now, right? What's the worst that- no, you're not finishing that fucking thought.
Just enough for booze and Xbox huge armor

>>43513243
Why do this when there is FUN!!! to be had?

>>43513208
>[ ] [PLANTS AND ORES] Go do all the things. C'mon, you totally have time. It's not like there's anything else living down here right now, right? What's the worst that- no, you're not finishing that fucking thought.

>>43513264
backing

>>43512578
meaning adamantine towers and all teh strands and !!!FUN!!! we can handle!

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>>43513203
Urist is a dwarf, anon. She'll find a way eventually.

Besides, "here's all this shit you'll never be able to use" would be a pretty mean prize for an 85 roll!

>>43513213
>Ataricite
>Wood paneled armor?

It's pretty fragile stuff, yeah! Maybe there's still a use for it, though.

>>43513208
>[ ] [PLANT GATHERING] Go pick a few plump helmets and things. It won't take too long, and you can get a farming/brewing industry going right off the bat. The rewards outweigh the risks, here.
ALCOHOL! SWEET SWEET ALCOHOL!

>>43513208
>[X] [PLANT GATHERING] Go pick a few plump helmets and things. It won't take too long, and you can get a farming/brewing industry going right off the bat. The rewards outweigh the risks, here.
We have a custom why image now. Need to roll a reason to repost it.
>Ataricite
Please tell me this means we might be able to meet Rei Ryghts?

>>43513208
>[x] [PLANT GATHERING] Go pick a few plump helmets and things. It won't take too long, and you can get a farming/brewing industry going right off the bat. The rewards outweigh the risks, here.

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>>43513325

>>43513208
>[X] [PLANTS AND ORES]

>>43513208
>[] plant gathering

>>43513208
>[X] [PLANTS AND ORES] Go do all the things. C'mon, you totally have time. It's not like there's anything else living down here right now, right? What's the worst that- no, you're not finishing that fucking thought.

>>43513316
>Nintendium
Oh god! This has to be the biggest Nintendium deposit discovered since Gunpie Yokoi left Nintendo and died!
We need to mine it out.

>>43513208
First [ ] [PLANT GATHERING
lets gather some ore if nothing horrible jumps out to maul us, but after we gather like 3 bushes.

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Okay, calling the vote now- [PLANT GATHERING] wins! Therefore-

>Urist Twelfthbay gathers plants!
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
DC: 60

>>43513208
>[ ] [NOPE NOPE NOPE] Seal the cavern and get back up. Plants will grow in your fortress soon enough. You'd best fortify the hallway between your fortress and the cavern before trying anything fancy, bucko.
We all seem to have forgotten that we know for a fact that there IS something waiting around to maul us when we're not looking.

Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>43513488

Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>43513488

Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>43513488
Iwata protect us!

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>43513488

>>43513503
>Rolled 94 (1d100)
Iwata protects!

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>>43513503

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>>43513503

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>>43513503
>>43512455
>set the DC low
>dice roll ridiculously high

>set the DC high
>dice roll ridiculously low

I... I think I've cracked it. I've cracked the mysteries of the 4chan dice for all time aside from Stupid Lucky ogre rolls.

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>>43513503

>>43513503
IWATAAAAAA

>>43513562
Dice hate Urist, but also love Urist

>>43513562
Iwata protects those who never lose faith in Nintendo.

>aside from Stupid Lucky ogre rolls.
Should just replace all Ogre Rolls with "You win."

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>>43513562

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>>43513503

>>43513562
Ogre rolls were broken by design though, since under those rules it was harder NOT to crit.

>>43513658
ish.

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>>43513562
That's what you think now, until you realize it was all a cunning ruse by the dice gods; when you peel back the pieces of your hitherto 'solved puzzle' hanging proudly upon your bedroom wall to reveal the innumerable layers beneath, only then will you recognize the merest fraction of your true hubris.

>>43513316
>It's pretty fragile stuff, yeah! Maybe there's still a use for it, though.
Speaking of, would you mind giving a rundown of all of those ore's properties?

>>43513733
Urist doesn't know them yet.

Mojang might have a better idea.

>>43513774
Ore of Steam

Very versatile and easy to work with but full of impurities. Only about 10% of a given amount is of high enough quality to be of use.

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>>43513877

>>43513877
The metal yield actually varies depending on the date. During a brief period known as 'summersale' the yield increases to as much as 80%.

>>43513975
Ore accumulated in this period does however have a tendency to sit around, unused in a phenomena that is not completely understood.

>>43513975
>all these ingots
>never use them for anything

>>43513975
Also brief times known as Wintersale and Halloweensale.

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>>43513208
>[X] [PLANT GATHERING]
>DC: 60, roll of 94
>..................
>PASS!

The plants. They taunt you. Oh, Armok, do they ever taunt you with their lush ripe leaves, ready for the plucking and the fermenting and the liquefying and the pouring-down-your-throat-ing. Even through the crack in the wall you made, you can almost TASTE the, the refreshing bitter tang of plump helmet wine and the frothy sweetness of cave wheat beer, quenching your thirst, and you're THIS close to just running out there and shoving raw plants down your gullet.

Beads of sweat slide down your face, and you swallow heavily.

You'll... you'll just walk out there and pick a few. Nothing to be fucking worried about. Sliding through the crack in the wall, you assume the dwarven panic position- hunched forward, low to the ground- and scurry forward, eyes adjusting to the ambient glow of biolumani- biolumone- /goddamn glowing fungi/ dotting the cavern. Gaze darting to and fro, you get started picking plants, involving the delicate art of tearing shrubs out of the ground and ripping them to scattered leafy fragments, leaving behind the usable bits.

Soon enough, you're amassing a small pile of edible and brewable plants (and rock nuts), and that's only the immediate area close to the wall. You... you might not actually NEED the other fucking caverns, at this rate. This one's got everything you need. Hell, if you sealed off the edges, you could convert this whole place into a harvestable safe area, a natural extension of your fortress...

(Cont.)

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>>43514023
Even as the BUILD DWARFY SHIT gears start turning in your head, you realize you're not alone in the cavern. You look up, brown eyes blinking rapidly.

The majestic cave swallowman stares back at you, making no move to attack despite the wooden spear and shield held in its clawed, feathered hands.

...

After a few moments- basically right when you blink- the cave swallowman resumes its patrol of the cavern, an easy, confident set to its feathered shoulders. For some strange reason, you feel a little more at ease, despite "feeling at ease" being as alien to you as breathing water.

Seriously, what the hell was that all about?

>Âsax, Cave Swallow Man Spearman, has graced your fort with his presence.

* * *

Amazingly, you make it back upstairs with no problems (and a sealed first cavern level- you'll get back to that later), and with a freaking bounty of food and booze plants. First thing you do is get a still up and running, second thing you do is crank out a handful of rock pots, and the third thing you do is convert plants to alcohol so fast that you're surprised that you don't light the damn things on fire.

After that, for a good ten minutes, your world narrows to the inside of a rock pot as large as yourself, and wonderful dwarven booze gurgling down your throat, inundating your taste buds and setting your nerves awash with what might as well be pure liquid gold.

(Cont.)

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>>43514035
Sighing blissfully, you place the emptied pot aside and knock out the remaining plants into booze in no time flat. Only then do you realize that maybe, just maybe, you should've left a few to cook or eat, but you've got enough of a buzz going to remember that you've got enough seeds to plant, so 's all good.

... and only THEN do you realize that you don't see anyone around. A few panicked moments of Therapist use shows that they're still in the fort, and a quick visual sweep reveals that Mojang has, true to her word, bricked up the entrance. Her and Doomgirl are probably off doing other things, like, y'know. Resting. Like normal people.

You suppress a yawn, rubbing at your eyes with grubby hands.

[ ] [SLEEP] Knock out some beds with what little wood your fort has, and get a well-deserved rest. Skip to the next day or, more likely, dream.
[ ] [MOJANG] Go find Mojang and see how she's holding up. She's probably finding some way to keep usefully busy around the place- she's no rookie to your way of life- but she's been through a shitload in one day.
[ ] [DOOMGIRL] Go find Doomgirl and see what she's up to. You don't really know a lot about her, and you sort of got off to the wrong foot, but... you get the sense she's as much a veteran as Estelle and Rokko.
[ ] [SHARICITE] Commune with the lode of Sharicite. Inspect it. See if you can't get Histoire to wake up again or something like that. Seriously, you've still got more questions than answers about this fucking thing.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>43514050
[ ] [SHARICITE]
Dip it in BOOZE

>>43514050
>[X] [DOOMGIRL] Go find Doomgirl and see what she's up to. You don't really know a lot about her, and you sort of got off to the wrong foot, but... you get the sense she's as much a veteran as Estelle and Rokko.

>>43514050
[ ] [DOOMGIRL] Go find Doomgirl and see what she's up to. You don't really know a lot about her, and you sort of got off to the wrong foot, but... you get the sense she's as much a veteran as Estelle and Rokko.

>>43514050
>[ ] [SLEEP] Knock out some beds with what little wood your fort has, and get a well-deserved rest. Skip to the next day or, more likely, dream.
Maybe we can contact Gamindustri. Wear the nightgown.

>>43514078
Did we ever take off the nightgown?

>>43514050
>[ ] [MOJANG] Go find Mojang and see how she's holding up. She's probably finding some way to keep usefully busy around the place- she's no rookie to your way of life- but she's been through a shitload in one day.

>>43514050
[x] [DOOMGIRL] Go find Doomgirl and see what she's up to. You don't really know a lot about her, and you sort of got off to the wrong foot, but... you get the sense she's as much a veteran as Estelle and Rokko.

She probably seen some shit and thusly needs booze, just like you.

>>43514050
>[ ] [SHARICITE]
Must. Keep. Poking. Shiny!

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As an aside, all these posts writing stuff about these Gamindustri/Hyperdimension ores are absolutely great.

ALL THESE IDEAS, MAN

>>43514050
>[X] [DOOMGIRL] Go find Doomgirl and see what she's up to. You don't really know a lot about her, and you sort of got off to the wrong foot, but... you get the sense she's as much a veteran as Estelle and Rokko.
> [X] [BOOZE] Drink booze with her. Best case scenario, she stops having a death wish for a moment, worst case scenario, you have what might as well be a nuclear weapon at your disposal. What can possibly go wrong?

>>43514084
Sometime before dungeon diving with Shovel

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>>43514035
>Âsax, Cave Swallow Man Spearman


I KNOW THAT NAME

>There was a goblin ambush. Master lasher Atu Wraithwhipped managed to do what three of the most appalling abominations in all of creation, two of them immortals, failed to do; kill Âsax. Âsax defended the fortress as nobly as any of my actual soldiers, but evidently, his specialty was in dealing with freakish behemoths, not armed, armored goblins.

>571 artifacts are listed, all of them just different names Âsax gave to his fungiwood spear and tunnel tube shield.

WE ARE TRULY BLESSED ON THIS DAY

>>43514050
>[ ] [SHARICITE] Commune with the lode of Sharicite. Inspect it. See if you can't get Histoire to wake up again or something like that. Seriously, you've still got more questions than answers about this fucking thing.

>>43514060
Giant shiny rocks are not soul gems...or maybe they are. Idefk

>>43514050
>[X] [DOOMGIRL] Go find Doomgirl and see what she's up to. You don't really know a lot about her, and you sort of got off to the wrong foot, but... you get the sense she's as much a veteran as Estelle and Rokko.
We should definitely make sure our resident WMD isn't going nuts somewhere.

>>43514050
>[X] [SHARICITE] Commune with the lode of Sharicite. Inspect it. See if you can't get Histoire to wake up again or something like that. Seriously, you've still got more questions than answers about this fucking thing.
I feel there's more, important things about this sharicite. I just feel it.

>>43514060
>dip it in booze
You would have an easier time pouring booze over that chunk of sharicite. It's like two stories tall or something.

>>43514050
>[ ] [DOOMGIRL] Go find Doomgirl and see what she's up to. You don't really know a lot about her, and you sort of got off to the wrong foot, but... you get the sense she's as much a veteran as Estelle and Rokko.

Say, what is a typical dorf reaction to masses of water, like oceans and stuff?
"I can totally navigate this shit" or "this shit is wack, I'm out"

>>43514220
Dorfs can't swim.

>>43514050
>[ ] [DOOMGIRL] Go find Doomgirl and see what she's up to. You don't really know a lot about her, and you sort of got off to the wrong foot, but... you get the sense she's as much a veteran as Estelle and Rokko.
BEST GAME
BEST GIRL

>>43514220
It generally ranges from "fish from it, drink from it if you're truly horrifically desperate, but other than that, stay away from it" to "BREAK OUT THE SCREW PUMPS, TIME TO DRAIN THE SEVEN SEAS AND ROYALLY FUCK UP NATURE."

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>>43514220
Basically stay away if you can help it.

>>43514374
>The Carp stands up

If we ever find Neptune again, we need to lace some puddings with BOOZE or with eggplants

>>43514472
>this kills the Nep

>>43514472
Do you think we could ferment eggplants?

>>43514491
This de-inhibits the nep. Which just means everyone gets leaded.

>>43514050
>[X] [DOOMGIRL]

If you were Mojang (and have been through everything from Arfoire poking through your code to getting shunted between dimensions)... you'd absolutely love to have a little alone time right now. Hell, she's probably already out cold somewhere in the fort, sleeping in one of her custom-made woolly beds.

Time to check on the other member of your fort. With a sigh, you reluctantly fill your tertiary waterskin with booze and head off to find Doomgirl, homing in on her with Therapist.

... after a few moments of walking, you don't even NEED that anymore, not when you start hearing her half-sane grumbling.

"Better believe it, soldier... ain't getting away from me, who do you think you are?... ooh, I like THAT idea...won't know what hit 'im, if he even knows enough to know... quiet, you moron, you'll scare it away..."

You reach the end of the dirt hallway (damp from ambient seawater) and just... sort of squint in disgusted disbelief. Doomgirl's in YOUR room. She's sniffing your wide-open cabinet, carefully probing the rock surface with her fingers like she's taking the damn thing's heartbeat. Your /nightgown/ was hastily thrown on the bed, crumpled up and discarded like a piece of trash-

Well, okay, it sort of IS a piece of trash from your perspective, but that's besides the fucking point! It's YOUR clothing!

(Cont.)

>>43514518
Lewded...autocorrect why.

>>43514105
Where's this one from?

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>>43514536
Your incensed breathing probably tips Doomgirl off, and she spares you a quick glance. "Oh. You."

Really? That's it!? You SAVED- well, you /technically/ didn't fuck up TOO much AND saved her-

"We got company. Some sorta creature," the armored soldier grunts, cutting you off and sobering you up right quick. She turns her head this way and that, twitchy and quick. "Can't find the damn thing. Invisible, knowing my luck. It's ALWAYS something."

... she doesn't even sound worried. Hell, she only sounds slightly incensed, like this is all some small inconvenience on par with untied shoelaces or nasty vermin underfoot. The insane berserker from before is completely gone- mostly gone, you correct yourself. Probably lurking just beneath the surface.

You clear your throat, pitching it down to its usual growl: what the hell should you do, then?

"Destroy your cabinet," Doomgirl answers immediately, jerking a thumb at the opened and clearly empty cabinet. "It's in there. That or get out and close the door so I can clear this place out myself."

You side-eye her. So... she DOES remember that there's a whole fucking ocean's worth of seawater outside the fort, right? And that blowing up the room wholesale might doom you all to an instantaneously-

"- watery death, I know!" Doomgirl growls. "Hey, c'mon, even I know I'm not that invincible over here!"

(Cont.)

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>>43514562
... nnghk. You just- you just want to go to sleep, goddammit.

You kind of feel like you're forgetting something important, though.

[ ] [DEMOLISH] the cabinet. Whatever's haunting the cabinet probably can't deal with the cabinet suddenly being discombobulated into a simple rock.
[ ] [ULTRA DEMOLISH] the cabinet and the bed. Leave no stone unturned, because dwarven paranoia goes hand in hand with dwarven thoroughness.
[ ] [LET HER DO IT] Leave Doomgirl to handle the... room exorcism or whatever. Bow to her experience, if not to her brand of fucking insanity.
[ ] [NOPE] Actually, leave the cabinet alone. Leaving whatever Doomgirl thinks is in there will probably be damned inconvenient, but destroying it will probably fuck you over in some even more roundabout way.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>43514220
One of:
Nope. Nope nope.
Stupid Dwarf Trick
Merperson Genocide

I remember this one time I had a volcano and an ocean on the same embark. I wound up tunnelling and cantilevering a lava pipe out from the volcano's tube out and dropping the lava directly into the ocean to make a small island. Then I built a couple of bridges out to that island and turned it into the gatehouse for my fort, which was constructed beneath the ocean floor.

>>43514576
>[ ] [DEMOLISH] the cabinet. Whatever's haunting the cabinet probably can't deal with the cabinet suddenly being discombobulated into a simple rock.
There, go to sleep.

And don't kill our cool bird guy friend.

>>43514576
>[ ] [ULTRA DEMOLISH] the cabinet and the bed. Leave no stone unturned, because dwarven paranoia goes hand in hand with dwarven thoroughness.

>>43514545

http://dfstories.com/asax-masterjails-the-most-awesome-cave-swallowman-ever/

The name says it all.

>>43514576
[ ] [DEMOLISH] the cabinet. Whatever's haunting the cabinet probably can't deal with the cabinet suddenly being discombobulated into a simple rock.

>>43514576
>[x] [ULTRA DEMOLISH] the cabinet and the bed. Leave no stone unturned, because dwarven paranoia goes hand in hand with dwarven thoroughness.
Invisible creatures is bad news, even if it's just vermin. Should we get one cat?

>>43514576
>[ ] [NOPE] Actually, leave the cabinet alone. Leaving whatever Doomgirl thinks is in there will probably be damned inconvenient, but destroying it will probably fuck you over in some even more roundabout way.

>>43514576
>[X] [NOPE] Actually, leave the cabinet alone. Leaving whatever Doomgirl thinks is in there will probably be damned inconvenient, but destroying it will probably fuck you over in some even more roundabout way.

>>43514576
>[ ] [NOPE] Actually, leave the cabinet alone. Leaving whatever Doomgirl thinks is in there will probably be damned inconvenient, but destroying it will probably fuck you over in some even more roundabout way.

>>43514576
>[x] [ULTRA DEMOLISH] the cabinet and the bed. Leave no stone unturned, because dwarven paranoia goes hand in hand with dwarven thoroughness.

>>43514581
Speaking of merpeople, having some of them around might actually be kind of handy now, maybe we could try DFHacking them into being a part of our civilization?

>>43514576
>[X] [ULTRA DEMOLISH] the cabinet and the bed. Leave no stone unturned, because dwarven paranoia goes hand in hand with dwarven thoroughness.

>>43514576
>[X] [NOPE] Actually, leave the cabinet alone. Leaving whatever Doomgirl thinks is in there will probably be damned inconvenient, but destroying it will probably fuck you over in some even more roundabout way.

>>43514576
[ ] [DEMOLISH]

>>43514576
>[ ] [ULTRA DEMOLISH] the cabinet and the bed. Leave no stone unturned, because dwarven paranoia goes hand in hand with dwarven thoroughness.

>>43514715
If we're DFhacking anything, we're getting that Cave Swallow Guy. Maybe as an elite follower, similar to Exey's goons? He seemed pretty cool.

>>43514576
>[ ] [DEMOLISH] the cabinet. Whatever's haunting the cabinet probably can't deal with the cabinet suddenly being discombobulated into a simple rock.

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>>43514576
Alright, looks like [ULTRA DEMOLISH] is the winning vote, so we'll pick up with that... next time, on Monday, 11/9, at 9-ish pm EST!

Updates and scheduling changes will go up on https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest, and questions can go here or ask.fm/BlorpQuest (which I'll get to tomorrow, I KNEW I forgot something).

As always, thanks for participating, guys; it's always a blast. Hope to catch you next time!

Bonus content next thread!

>>43514846
Thanks for the thread Blorp.

Bye bye.

>>43514846
Thanks boss.

>>43514846
Thanks blorp.

I always imagine you are this kimono'd girl for some reason. The white'd out eyes speaks to me.

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>>43515242
Yeah, I chose that pic for the whited out eyes- they speak to me too, because that's pretty much how I feel at the end of any given thread. Writing like this is as fun as it is draining (but it's a good pain).

... come to think of it, I've used that as the end pic for years now, so no small wonder.

>>43515242
seconded

Creepers drown, right? Can Forgotten Beasts?