Go on

nigga wut

But seriously, probably around the human familiar. That's getting into magical realm territory. And past that point is just silliness.

>>43661682
>illiterate wizard with picture spellbook
I actually like that idea. Is there something wrong with me?

>>43661682
#2 on the list. (but if you mentioned #3 right after, i might let that slide.)

>>43661712
What kind of games do you run?

>>43661682
Lost me at two dogs. Would've gotten me back with 5 dogs in a trenchcoat, with only one as the actual wizard.

>>43661759
that poses too many questions.

>>43661682
>tail

>>43661682
4.
Next?

>>43661802
Like what?

>>43661682
Jesus Christ OP, how many drugs are you on right now?

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>>43661682
>An illiterate wizard
Hesitate.

>An illiterate wizard with a picturebook spellbook
Draw the line.

>>43661682
>An illiterate wizard who is a dog
I let this slide with a guy who wanted to play a talking fox. Shit was mistake, guy was a total ass, wanting all kinds of special treatment.

(Too bad he was stuck in a wheelchair and shit in a bag, so I couldn't say shit)

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Probably the two dogs point.
I mean, a wizard can't be TWO dogs.

In my general experience its the goal of these players to come into conflict with other players and grind the game to a halt.

You have to share your headspace.

>>43661834
Like, "why humor you?"

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>>43661867
Meet the most powerful wizard in the world.

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>>43661867
what about one dog and one person?

>>43661682
>An illiterate wizard who has a tail
Hesitation.
>An illiterate wizard who is two dogs and nobody thinks that's strange
Stop.

I would stop at the picture book. Not because I think that is too much or the next few lines are unplayable. I just think that a picture book wizard is a great concept and I don't want it ruined by bogging it down with so many other features.

>Stop: Illiterate wizard
>Keep Going: an illiterate wizard who uses picture spell books
>hesitate: an illiterate wizard who has a tail.
>hesitate: an illiterate wizard who has a tail and dog ears
>Full Stop: An illiterate wizard is a dog.

>>43661940

That is clearly not two dogs, anon.

>>43661682
#3. Wizards can, in fact, be illiterate in Pathfinder so long as they use Read Magic, which grants them literacy.
A picturebook in the normal sense, however, isn't magic text. If the pictures were made of up of spell formula and were just carefully hidden to look like pictures? Then I'd stop at dog unless this was a high-powered campaign or one where awakened was possible. I still wouldn't allow two dogs.

>>43661682

I am completely fine with all of these
Unless the player is shit, I see no problems

This isn't a linear order.

Picture book spellbook improves the illiterate wizard, and being a dog is better than being a furry.

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>>43661682
I'd actually allow up to the juggling part.
The juggling and screaming is too much.

>>43662265
I was just about to post this. The order is wrong. Also, having a human familiar could explain why nobody thinks the dog wizards are strange.

I'd probably stop him at the "two dogs" stage unless it was specifically a game about wacky shit.

>>43661744
this

>>43662114
They share a body, can you truly say they are both not one dog, with one that just looks like a cat?

>>43661682
Up to
>An illiterate wizard who is two dogs and nobody thinks that's strange
actually works the setting I use.

>>43661682
>Player wants to play a wizard

Full Stop

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>>43661682
I wouldn't stop, OP

I'd allow 100% of it

do you people not like fun?

>>43661682
>An illiterate wizard who is actually two awakened dogs working together
That's where I would say "nah"

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>>43661682
here's another one for you:

Player wants to play a ranger
A ranger with a wolf animal companion
A ranger with a female wolf
A ranger who can talk to wolves
A ranger with wolf ears
A ranger with a wolf ear and a tail
A ranger who can turn into a wolf
A ranger who is half-wolf
A ranger who is a wolf
A ranger who is a wolf who fucks their wolf animal companion
A ranger who is a wolf that fucks a pack of wolves they have as their animal companions
A ranger who gets fucked by a pack of wolves they have as their animal companions
A ranger who is really a pack of wolves that go around fucking people
A ranger who is really a pack of wolves that go around fucking people and nobody thinks this is weird
A ranger who is really a pack of wolves that everybody wants to fuck

>>43661682
>An illiterate wizard who has a tail
Is he like a lizardfolk, or is this furry?
>An illiterate wizard who has a tail and puppy dog ears
Line drawn, no furry.
>An illiterate wizard who is a dog
Oh, it's like Sir Bearington. Never mind. Continue.
>An illiterate wizard who is two dogs and they have a human familiar
Ehhhhh, maybe once I know where you're going with that.
>Illiterate two-dogs wizard with "Lassy" the human familiar that constantly juggles them
What? Why?
>Illiterate two-dogs wizard that is juggled by their human familiar Lassy who screams incessantly
No. Not under any circumstances. Characters who are always too loud ruin the game for other people.

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>>43661682
> okay
> o...kay...?
> oh that sounds cute
> justify that
> okay you're REALLY gonna have to justify that to me
> okay
> You're gonna have to take Leadership and the second one is your cohort because that's how we do things here.
> No. But he can be a follower who the dogs say is their familiar.
> That's hilarious.
> Why
> WHY
> Why..?
> Why
>

>>43662867
I guessed your joke at the second line in.
That's where I'd stop.

I'd tell you to stop.

>>43661682

>An illiterate wizard
Lost me but saved by the picture book. This is clearly out of order

>An illiterate wizard who has a tail
>An illiterate wizard who has a tail and puppy dog ears

Again, immediately saved by the next line.

This game is dumb. OP's dumb, and also gay.

>>43662899
>Oh, it's like Sir Bearington. Never mind. Continue

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

>>43661682
Nobody thinking it's strange is where I draw the line. Everything after it gets rejected too, and the furry bits would be rejected if it wasn't actually a dog. I would urge him to play just one dog instead of two, but it's not a deal breaker.

>>43662867
Stop at >A ranger who is half-wolf
Polymorph items can explain pretty much everything else.

>>43661737
Nah, I like it too. Wasn't there some sort of PrC in 3.5 for Wizards about geometric magic or something? So it isn't like there isn't precedent for it.

You lose me at the screaming with the caveat that you have to roll each round in combat to see if Lassy drops you on your head because just cause you can be juggled constantly doesn't mean it isn't a fucking stupid plan.

>>43662867
5&6 I'd ask for a in-universe reason why.
7 I'd tell them to take a level or two in Druid for wildshape.
8 doesn't even make sense, humans and animals can't breed.
9 is probably too silly, but I'd offer to run mouseguard sometime for them.
10 is when I tell them to go to F-list or jack off before we play and that their headcanon is theirs but I'm not doing ERP bestiality for them.

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>>43663190
>but I'm not doing ERP bestiality for them
you monster

>>43661682
>Illiterate two-dogs wizard with "Lassy" the human familiar that constantly juggles them

Got this far. An Awakened dog with a human familiar sounds amusing. Not sure why or how she'd be juggling them though.

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>>43661682
Im crying over here.

>>43663279
Look man, we've got a group of like six. Odds are none of them want to hear you talk about taking the knot in a panting voice. I sure as fuck don't, when I want porn I go get it.

>>43661682
I raised an eyebrow and thought about stopping the player at "juggling the dogs" but figured that the three of them could mechanically count as one composite character. The constantly yelling bit, however, seems like it would actively disrupt a game rather than just being a weird character. So yeah, I draw the line when it actually disrupts the game.

>>43663279
There is a time and place for that behavior.

Right now.

>>43661682
Two dogs. I don't want to deal with the issue of a being effectively comprising multiple bodies unless someone has already done the legwork for it.

>>43662867
Gets fucked. You've reached the point where I begin to wonder what the point is.

>>43661682
Every single line up to and including 11 gets better and better. I wish I had players that creative.

>>43662867
8 and below is fine in almost any setting, 9 and higher for magical realm.

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>>43661682
I am literally a chicken.

>>43661802

To answer all of your questions. The dog forming the right leg is the wizard. The rest are just really well trained.

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>>43663444
>half-wolf is fine
>being a wolf is magical realm
I don't understand your magical realm but I guess I respect it

>>43663529
Shit I miscounted. Being an intelligent animal ranger is actually a character idea of mine if I can find a DM willing to do it.

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>>43661759
>>43663449

We must do battle.

>>43662867
Are you actively trying to be a shit, or is it accidental?

The former may be more morally reprehensible but at least it's more easily fixed. Cut that out.
If it's the latter, you probably are better off just not posting at all.

>>43663607
I'm sorry, is the point of chicken not to see how far you will go?

>>43661682
Immediately start the game at "illiterate wizard who is a dog"
take a character sheet, and draw a corgi wearing a wizard hat on it and replace his sheet with that.
write "bark bark bark" for every line in spells and inventory.

>>43663449
Rokur Gepta?

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>>43663663
this guy gets it

>>43663442
There was a race in dragon compendium that had one mind but two bodies called Dvati.

I don't remember exactly how they worked but I remember that they got their max hp split, half onto each body, so bearing in mind wizard hit dice and the stat penalties for playing a child (technically puppy but same diff) then they are looking at having somewhere south of piss all hp on each puppy.

>>43661737
The point of DM chicken threads is to lay down increasingly ridiculous situations and ask the other posters to say at what point they would stop and veto the character. There has to be some enticing stuff towards the top of the list (and ideally spread all throughout the list) for the thread to be interesting. I'd be more confused by someone who isn't at least mildly interested at the idea of an illiterate wizard with a spellbook of pictures. Or maybe it's not a picture book, maybe it's an illuminated manuscript and he gleans the necessary information he needs to cast the spells from the illustrations -- those illustrations were historically included in the manuscripts for the benefit of the illiterate, you know. Headed off topic now, but you get what I mean.

>>43663792
>1 hp spread each between two bodies
>twice as many spells per day
top minmaxing

>>43663999
the point of chicken is to see how far you're willing to go before just hurting yourself

there's no point if there isn't the threat of getting hurt

>>43662056
Exactly

>>43662867
It might make for an interesting story on its own using all the ideas, but for a group play, I feel, it would be too much.

>>43664043
Yeah, but these threads are more interesting if there is something to keep you going even through the intense cringe toward the end of the list. It's a more interesting choice than simply "How long can you stand teh Pspeschal Sneuxfureighckque?

>>43664043
If it's just a straight line of masochism, most people end up stopping pretty early.

You've got to entice them, make them go one step lower, thinking that there might be some way to make it better, like it did before, but it just gets worse, and worse, and they start regretting stopping when they had the chance, but it's far too late now.

>>43662867
I'd put up with ears and tail 'cause I'm weeaboo trash

>>43663999
An illiterate wizard, who can follow magical symbols and diagrams, but has had the ability to read text burned out of their brain by holding spells in their mind, or having seen a Word of Power before they were ready, could be interesting.

>>43661682
Stop at nobody thinks that's strange for a serious game
Stop at scream for a joke game because that WILL get old

>>43662867
>A ranger with a wolf ear and a tail
Hesitation.
>A ranger who can turn into a wolf
Ok, I'm back
>A ranger who is a wolf who fucks their wolf animal companion
Aaaand you lost me

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>>43661682
Illiterate Wizard. Full stop.

If the player can't sober up a bit and take it slightly more seriously... he might wanna consider a different group.

>>43664221
>You can't play an illiterate wizard seriously

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>>43664283
The thing is intelligence is the hallmark of a Wizard. You want to be illiterate, you play a Sorcerer. That is magic you're born with.

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>>43664520

>you can't be both intelligent and illiterate

>>43664554
That's called Wisdom, Anon, not Intellect.

You could be Illiterate but have amazing common sense.

>>43662686
I'm with you.

Because there are no Wizards in the current setting.

>>43664582
I think he means, someone could be exceedingly intelligent and simply have never encountered the written word or something like that.

>>43664582
Can you be intelligent and not know-

How to cook?
How to sail a boat?
How to make a wagon?
How to play the guitar?

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>>43664582

>intelligent people automatically learn to read

>regardless of where they're from or how they're raised

>just pick up a book and figure it out, sooner or later you'll roll a 20, right?

>>43664582
There are many reasons someone intelligent might not be able to read, though. They may have come from a society where written language hasn't been developed, or were just never taught it. They could be dyslexic, or have brain damage. If the player can sell it to me, then I'm game for the idea.

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>>43661682
I'll let the player take it all the way, and the kill the abomination within five minutes of gameplay.

>>43664582
You can also be literate and a complete idiot. As evidenced by yourself.

I'm going into this assuming that I am running a game with normal races/classes.

>>43661682
Confused at the tail, but put a stop to it at the dog ears.

>>43662867
Stopped at wolf ears. Too much wolf going on.

>>43664737
Then again we're both posting in a shit thread. That puts us in the same boat I'd wager.

>>43664678
Vampires don't drink kool-aid.

>>43664221
>seriously
>wizard

choose one.

>>43662867
>A ranger who can turn into a wolf
Sounds cool, like a ranger/druid hybrid.
>A ranger who is half-wolf
Only works if the "Half-Wolf" functions like a werewolf. Anything beyond is just silly.

>>43661682
Hesitate at 5, refusal at 7.

>>43662867
Hesitate at 6, refusal at 8, unless it's a magical realm game, in which case refusal at 13 because that's the point where it gets too silly for me to get my rocks off.

>>43664894
>hesitates at people having some animal features
>willing to beat it to people getting fucked by animals
I don't follow, anon

>>43662867
Found the lamashtu worshiper

>A ranger who is a wolf who fucks their wolf animal companion

Full stop.

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>>43664737
Solid burn there, 7/10.

>>43662867
First line. Ranger is a shit class with limiting abilities that force the GM to pander to them.

>>43665042
in every game?

geez, that's rough

>>43664952
It's a matter of ensuring that everyone at the table is comfortable. Sometimes, that mandates being a little bit heavy handed.

But regardless of that, I don't mix ERP with regular RP because that never ends well for anybody involved. The two need to stay separated to avoid imploding.

>>43665049
Name a system where a Ranger doesn't force the GM to include wilderness, survival stuff, and things for an animal companion to do without becoming irrelevant.

>>43665156
In 4th edition D&D their insane damage output stays pretty relevant no matter where the adventure is.

>>43665187
Twin shot makes me cum.

>>43665187
If damage is all it takes to stay relevant in one of your games I'm sorry you're stuck in it.

>>43665187
They're also pretty sneaky-peaky. IIRC in the IDW DND 4E comics one of the main characters was an elf ranger who preferred urban environments. He also got into some pretty amusing conversations with a dwarf paladin who used to be a poet.

>>43661682
... So they wanted to play Scooby, Scrappy and Shaggy?

>>43665237
Oh, also they can use Dungeoneering instead of Nature skills, so they can be good innaundergroundcomplexorcavesystem instead of innawoods, which is likely to be more relevant in the average D&D game I'd think.

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>>43664767
You can't come back from this

>>43662867
I'd stop at the fucking assuming this wasn't an ERP, which since I'm running it, it isn't.

>>43661943
Too soon

>>43661682
I would tell them no once they want the fifth item. Everything before that is fine and dandy in a standard semi-serious game and would probably help make their character interesting while supplying plenty of plot hooks.

>>43662867
Up to number four is okay. Five, just like in the original post oddly enough, is where I say no.

>>43661682
I hesitated at "nobody thinks it's strange" and refused at "juggling".

>>43665156
Pathfinder has several archetypes that can really change them up. Spend most of the time underground in dungeons? Deep Walker. Spend most your time in cities? Urban Ranger. Hunting spawn of the lower planes? Demonslayer. Etc. etc.

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>>43661682
>dogs can't speak
>dogs can't make hand gestures required for spells
>dogs don't have fingers or a thumb to hold spell components
>human familiar must CONSTANTLY make skill checks to successfully juggle 2 dogs
>even if the 2 dogs could SOMEHOW cast spells, the human familiar SCREAMING would break their concentration on spellcasting and require concentration checks
>dogs must also make concentration checks to maintain spellcasting WHILE being juggled
>human familiars are prime targets for enemies
0/10 character
0/10 beta DM for allowing this
0/10 for not knowing any of the rules
0/10 for not applying yourself
F-
see me after class

>>43661682
>An illiterate wizard who has a tail and puppy dog ears
NOW HOLD ON JUST A MINUTE HERE STEVE YOU KNOW FULL WELL THE RULES ABOUT F--
>An illiterate wizard who is a dog
...Go on.
>Illiterate two-dogs wizard with "Lassy" the human familiar that constantly juggles them
And this is when it becomes lol so randumb and I slap some shit again.

>Allowed a PC to have a backstory that involved him being powerful and losing his power
>Three other players so far since then have tried to do the same thing.

I have made a mistake.

>illiterate
No. Got to have at LEAST some sort of symbol based written language to do wizard shit.

>>43666342
I allowed a player to have a backstory that involved him making a huge blood sacrifice 50,000 years ago to basically become Drow Dr Who with a misanthropic streak, and also devoted to fighting 'Muh drow prejudice' despite the drow being literally made of evil in the setting.

I allowed it because he WOULDN'T. STOP. BITCHING. I had chewed through over a dozen previous concepts of a similar nature and shot them all down, but this guy is seemingly incapable of creating a character with a reasonable backstory, and he whines in the most passive aggressive way whenever I say no to a character concept.

So now I just hustle everything forward and cut him off whenever he tries to mention his character's dark and edgy past, because aside from that admittedly pretty glaring issue, he's not altogether a bad player.

>>43662493
Or is it two cats where one happens to look like a dog?

>>43662867
>A ranger who is a wolf who fucks their wolf animal companion
Stopped there

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>>43664606
More likely, someone extremely smart, but is incredibly dyslexic.

Or someone who comes from culture of oral tradition.

>>43665156
That's no worse than rouges forcing the game play into situations where lock picking is a relevant mechanic.

I play anima. So yrah whatever. Enjoy mo ML.

>>43663623
You plateaued like half way down the list and for some reason kept typing.

>>43661682
>An illiterate wizard who is actually two awakened dogs working together
This is where I would draw the line. All above that sounds really funny.

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>>43661940
Much like the show and the meme upon which this is based, there is a point where things cease to be inane and start to become contrived.

>>43661751
Gurps.

>>43662867
I'm fine with it until he gets to the fucking part.

Hell, I'd even fade to black and have him fucking the animal companion be cannon, but past that is too far.

>>43661682

stop it i don't care when. Just do it. And tell that fucking furry to yiff in hell.

>>43666882
>Furry
>wants to play a dog
> not an anthro dog-boy
>not even a talking dog
>just a dog with PC class levels

>>43666892
http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/awaken.htm

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>>43661737
What if the mage is an using Elder God magic. The words are a muddle of untranslatable signs.
To cast his magic he must mentally visualize the words, while also keeping the Elder Sign clear in his head to stop him exploding into uncontrollable mutation.

Every time he casts he has to roll for will/int, to keep the sign in his minds eye. Elder God Spells are ungodly powerful but are suicide belt levels of dangerous. He doesn't NEED the book to cast the spells, but if he has the book on him he gets a big boost to his will/int test when casting.

>pic is real plant.

>>43666909
I was thinking about line six, exclusively.

>>43661682
Well, I hesitated at Illiterate Wizard. I was about to call it quits after the tail.

Boy, am I glad I kept going.

>>43661682
Stop at two dogs. That person has too much action economy and thus breaks group balance. Everything else is fine.

>>43662867
Stop at more than 2 wolves, once again balance. I might let you take a leadership feat or something for multiple wolves later on. If you can make them sexy within the point buy and level given, it's on you.

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And this is something that I saw pulled in an actual game. Here's some sample gargoyle rules for reference: http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/gargoyle.htm

Wants to play a half-breed
Wants to be half-monster
Wants to be half Gargoyle
Wants all monster abilities + human abilities
Wants this without level adjustment
Wants Drawn-out emo backstory so the gargoyle can have special "engravings" on his hide. Like tear drop tattoos.
Wants to be lawful evil in a good-aligned campaign
Wants the other PCs to accept and not notice the evilness, even though we have a SUN CLERIC.
Wants to cross-class ranger/wizard at earliest opportunity.
Wants to dual-weild magical items on top of being a gargoyle-human hybrid
Wants the Book fo Vile Darkness (DM finally refused)
Wants to MAKE the Book of Vile Darkness (DM Oked this)

This is the way the world ended...
with an emo Mary Sue and our other wizard making a one-way dimension door and going "Nope Nope Nope" all the way out of this plane while everyone else was consumed by the evil wave unleashed by creating the Book of Vile Darkness. Mary Sue included.

>>43667016
To clarify, our non-gargoyle wizard Noped out of there and everyone else died. The end

>>43662867
#5 is where I say no, #10 is where I kick them out of the group

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>>43661682
I don't understand what sort of pussy ass GM wouldn't stop at #2. Archetypal magic-users can't be illiterate. Literacy is their entire existence. No other class needs to be able to read except them to do their job.

Other kinds of magic classes that don't have a spellbook, like warlocks and sorcerers, can be illiterate, if your game system includes them. But then they can't use scrolls, which they probably need to be able to do.

>>43662867
I'd stop at the fucking spoiler text. Just type it out normally, OP.

>>43667106
In this case they are literally being used as surprise boxes. Because each point is supposed to be unknown until after you read the one before it.
It's intentional.

>>43667016
>Wants to play a half-breed
Okay?
>Wants to be half-monster
Uh... Okaaay? (Let's hear this out...)
>Wants to be half Gargoyle
Well it could have been worse.
>Wants all monster abilities + human abilities
No, but we can still talk about the concept.
>Wants this without level adjustment
Hahaha no.
>Wants Drawn-out emo backstory so the gargoyle can have special "engravings" on his hide. Like tear drop tattoos.
Fuck no. Clean up or ship out.
>Wants to be lawful evil in a good-aligned campaign
I explain that we're doing good this time, and maybe we'll do an evil campaign a different time.
>Wants the other PCs to accept and not notice the evilness, even though we have a SUN CLERIC.
Nope
>Wants to cross-class ranger/wizard at earliest opportunity.
I guess, if that's how you want to spend your Exp.
>Wants to dual-weild magical items on top of being a gargoyle-human hybrid
You won't even find two of them, so no.
>Wants the Book fo Vile Darkness (DM finally refused)
No.
>Wants to MAKE the Book of Vile Darkness (DM Oked this)
GTFO

>>43667116
Which is completely unneccessary for this game and really just annoying.

>>43667156

It is necessary. You're supposed to consider each step on its own, without looking ahead to see where it's going.

>>43662095
Switch full stop with "at least he's not a furry" and that would be my reaction.

>>43666917
I like it.

>>43666917
That's not a plant, it's a fungus.

>>43661682
1.
I keep telling you that Wizard is not an option in Dark Heresy, but somehow you don't listen.

>>43662867
I'm fine with the ranger being a wolf. After that I start questioning the point if we're not running an ERP game.

>>43661682
>An illiterate wizard who has a tail
Stop because we are entering furry territory.

>>43663584
>Filename is not Nekomancer.jpg

One fucking job

>>43662056
What kind of penalties would you give to an illiterate wizard when learning new spells?
Impossible unless first demonstrated?

>>43667083
>Sorcerer needing scrolls

Scrolls are for chumps who have to crib their spells off Magic For Dummies.

>>43661682
I'll hesitate at an illeterate wizard and refuse at an illiterate wizard who has a tail and puppy dog ears.

>>43661682
>Nobody thinks that's strange
The setting reacts to the players. Want to go unnoticed? Learn stealth.

>>43668042
I'd go with that one.

He's got high INT and therefore should pick up shit quickly. Its just the Dyslxeia that's fucking whit him

>>43661682
You said no to two-dog magic?

No at two dogs but I'd allow one dog with a human familiar and everyone assumes the human is in charge.

>>43661682
>Illiterate two-dogs wizard that is juggled by their human familiar Lassy who screams incessantly
Only if the rest of the party is ok with it. This might ruin attempts at stealth.

>>43662867
>A ranger who is really a pack of wolves that everybody wants to fuck
Ahaha no, make your CHA roll like everyone else.

>>43667016
>Wants all monster abilities + human abilities
Nope, half of each.

>>43661682
The tail and puppy dog ears I wouldn't allow, everything before or after that is A-OK, though it would depend on the tone of the game

Ok ok get this.
A kooky peasant that walks around and talks to his chicken.
The peasant is actually a male witch.
And the chicken is actually his familiar.

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>>43664582
You talkin' shit 'bout Charlemagne son?

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>ewok
>ewok trader
>ewok trader that becomes a jedi
>ewok trader that becomes a jedi and doesn't understand basic
>ewok trader that becomes a jedi and doesn't understand basic with a double-bladed lightsaber
>ewok trader that becomes a jedi and doesn't understand basic with a double-bladed lightsaber who falls to the dark side

I'd okay two dogs, on the caveat that these dogs, being dogs, are just so loyal to each other to the point that they are unwilling to ever leave the same 5foot square, and each spends at least half their time barking, sniffing things or doing other dog things, effectively giving both of them combined one characters worth of actions.

>>43668961
That's...kind of adorable. However,
>dogs in charge of reading a spell book
>even one with pictures
>then somehow casting said spells

>>43661682
I'd stop at being iliterate because it's rather silly.

I mean, if you can understand the intricate physics of the world and magic so that you can use it to your will, you can spend some weeks to learn a fucking written system.

>>43661682
Wizards can't be illiterate. Play a sorcerer instead.

>>43668168
Like that talking dog from Discworld?

>>43669079
They're awakened dogs.
The wizard who is simply a dog is harder to pull off

>>43661682
>An illiterate wizard with a picturebook spellbook
I like this idea. everything else sounds stupid

>>43668736
Before the destruction of Death Star II? No. NO! The ewoks weren't a part of the greater galaxy BEFORE the Battle of Endor!!!11!

>>43666342
An idea came to me while reading this, how would you feel about a PC formerly being a powerful wizard who was shot in the head with an arrow and is now an 8 INT fighter who can't remember any of his old magic?

>>43664582
Or you know blind and there is no brail

>>43669910

Make him level as a barbarian. Look up Phineas Gage sometime.

>>43661682

>Player wants to play a wizard

wizards ruin the setting. basically, there is no limit to what a wizard can do and they always end up being stupid plot devices.

>>43669981
I'm well aware of Gage. I considered barbarian at first, but chose fighter instead as I felt barbarian implied a greater amount of muscle than reasonable in a former wizard.

I probably opt out somewhere around the tail. At that point you're just piling on snowflake for the sake of snowflake.

One of the worst players I ever had rolled a bard with negative cha who lugged around a giant stone guitar and tried to resolve every situation by hitting people with it. It was funny for about half a session. Jokes are only funny when they can put aside and maybe come back later. If the joke is your whole character concept it will wear out very fast.

>>43664623
Those are all wis based.

Int in D&D is mostly book knowledge and it's hard to have book knowledge if you can't read.

>>43665156
D&D 3.5 with alternate class features like urban ranger and the ones that replace animal companion.

>>43663663
Holy shit I can't stop laughing

>>43668320
Isn't a male witch a wizard or is this some tumblr pronoun bullshit

>>43670477
Witch and wizard are entirely different classes.

>>43670477
In some games, "Witch," is a separate class, like how, "Sorcerer," is sometimes.

>>43670477
Witch is a gender-neutral term. It doesn't matter if you're male or female, if you're a witch you're just called a witch.

>>43668736

>ewok
Ok Fine
>ewok trader
Hesitate, lets see how you justify this
>ewok trader that becomes a jedi
Ok if I gave you trader, I may as well give you Jedi
>ewok trader that becomes a jedi and doesn't understand basic
Line Drawn, you cant possibly tell me an ewok managed to buy a ship, trade, and be learn Jedi arts without speaking Basic

>>43670477
it's warlock you plebe

>>43668736
All the way. I want teddy bear lightning and a great spanning dark side cult/tribe on Endor.

>>43661682
Prolly around the dog. Like, that would get old after a while.

>>43662867
Sounds like the average Werewolf: the Apocalypse character to me.

>>43661682
I'd nix it at the tail.

>>43662867
Wolf ears, but I would consider allowing the wolf transformation without the stuff in between.

>>43667016
Canned at 4

>>43668736
Also canned at number 4

>>43662867
>A ranger who is really a pack of wolves that go around fucking people and nobody thinks this is weird
This is my fetish.

>>43670575
That is a different class, retard.

>>43666154
Have you tried not playing D&D?

>>43663693
Holy fuck, that is a reference I thought I would never see anywhere. Kudos anon.

>>43661682
>everything above
Shrug
>Illiterate two-dogs wizard that is juggled by their human familiar Lassy who screams incessantly
STOP
HAMMERTIME

>>43669115
To be fair, if you go with an Elder God type mage, you could justify the illiterate part by playing someone of a very low, mixed-blooded, and mentally aberrant type. Probably a seaman, negro or mulattos type.

>>43661682
It depends entirely on the setting and tone of the game.

Trying to come up with one answer to this is retarded.

>>43661682
>An illiterate wizard who is actually two awakened dogs working together
This is where it stops. Not because I find the concept offensive, but because I don't want to deal with figuring out under what conditions do your wizard powers actually work in regards to you being two entities.

>>43662867
>A ranger who is half-wolf
Stops here.

>A ranger who is a wolf
Start up again.

>A ranger who is a wolf who fucks their wolf animal companion
NOPE. NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE.

>>43662867
Hesitated at wolf sex.
Refused at wolf orgy

>>43662867
:

>Player wants to play a ranger
>A ranger with a wolf animal companion
Okay.
>A ranger with a female wolf
The fact that you need to specify that tells me something's fucky, but there's no reason it can't be female.
>A ranger who can talk to wolves
I run 2e, where, "Burrowing animal," is just a language you can take like any other, so I don't see why you couldn't put a language slot in, "Wolf," if your backstory calls for it.
>A ranger with wolf ears
>A ranger with a wolf ear and a tail
Not unless he's some kind of shapeshifter.
>A ranger who can turn into a wolf
Justify it mechanically.
>A ranger who is half-wolf
No.
>A ranger who is a wolf
Ehhhhh, probably not.
>A ranger who is a wolf who fucks their wolf animal companion
No, "On-screen," sex in my game. Anything short of that is fine.
>A ranger who is a wolf that fucks a pack of wolves they have as their animal companions
See above, and you'll need to get to a level where you can have a whole pack of wolves.
>A ranger who gets fucked by a pack of wolves they have as their animal companions
See above.
>A ranger who is really a pack of wolves that go around fucking people
No.
>A ranger who is really a pack of wolves that go around fucking people and nobody thinks this is weird
Not even if you payed me.
>A ranger who is really a pack of wolves that everybody wants to fuck
You are banned from my games.

>>43665239

Is our love worth disobeying the clan?

No.

>>43661682
1. Sounds good
2. How does that work?
3. Oh okay, that's pretty good
4. Well, I suppose...
5. Uh oh, one of these guys...
6. Nope, sorry.

>>43667083

By 3e RAW, spell books aren't in any language but secret sigils and graps and pictograms anyway, unique to the wizard who owns it.

In short, get fucked.

>>43662867
1. Ok
2. Ok
3. Ok
4. Ok
5. *sigh*
6. Anything else?
7. Figured
8. Okay you're a wolf ranger, stop repeating your fetish
9. See 8
10. No

>>43667016
1. Sure
2. Alright
3. ...I suppose
4. We'll have to balance it
5. We'll have to REALLY balance it
6. Whatever, at least you're attempting to have a backstory
7. You get one chance
8. Only if this is RP'd correctly (2% chance of success, by my estimate)
9. As you wish
10. If you can find them
11. Unlikely, but point out specifically what you want in it
12. I guess

I made it to the end, though I'm fairly certain at the lawful evil point that it won't work for more than a few sessions

>>43661682
usually somewhere around buttsex

but ERP in general is a no go

>>43670477
In a lot of RL lore, warlock is the name for evil spellcasting men and witch is the name for evil spellcasting women. This usually involves them being taboo is more than one way in conjunction to normal society.

>>43661682
>An illiterate wizard who is two dogs and nobody thinks that's strange

Here I finally say "no", but I knew I would do it after hearing about the dog.

Up to this point it was only "go on, continue" or asking "why?". Zero hesitation, I just wanted to know what the concept really will be. No "I am extremely weird, but nobody notices" bullshit on my sessions.

>Illiterate wizard who is a dog.
Right there. If you were going for a gnoll or something it would have been funny for a while.

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>>43663414
There used to be a place during the time of the weekend, but no, that proud tradition had to disappear.

>>43681716
There was nothing proud about those threads.

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>fighter
>female fighter
>female fighter with big tits
>middle-aged female fighter with big tits
>middle-aged unmarried female fighter with big tits
>middle-aged unmarried female fighter with big tits who dearly wants to get married someday
>middle-aged unmarried female fighter with big tits who dearly wants to get married someday who tells younger party members that they can surely do better than an old lady like her, ara ara

>>43674984
You sound like a prude

>>43682907
1. Okay
2. Okay
3. Hesitate, but okay.
4. ...okay
5. ...okay
6. okay
7. If the others are fine with it, then okay.

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>>43682907
> Ok
> Ok
> Sounds Familiar
> Ivy, is that you?
> OMG, Ivy! You are the best Soul Calibur Fighter (besides Voldo). Whatcha been up to?
> Pfft. Hahaha.
> D'Aww, so totally someone's Fanfiction of Ivy.

I'm jelly. You jelly? Nothing scary there.

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>>43662867
>A ranger with wolf ears
Fucking Disgusting.

>>43661682
>An illiterate wizard who is a dog
Hesitate

>An illiterate wizard who is actually two awakened dogs working together
No

>>43666154
>can't make hand gestures required for spells
Draconic spells (like the powers of certain other types of creatures) can be triggered solely by an act of will.

Most extraplanar monsters have an array of spell-like powers as formidable as the spell arsenal of a high-level wizard or priest, sylvan creatures such as dryads or brownies can charm or confuse their opponents, and even dragons have a handful of spell-like abilities based on their color and age. In fact, any monster that can use spell effects without an equivalent wizard or priest character level falls into this category.

Geometers don't use any somatic components for their spell, and dogs can bark. Just make it a barking dog wizard.

>>43684326
Verbal components require the caster to speak clearly (not be silenced in any way); thus, a spell with only a verbal component could be used by a naked, bound spellcaster. Deafened spellcasters have a 20% chance to miscast any spell with a verbal component. With stammering and stuttering—where nothing can be said properly—the spell fails being cast.

The only requirements for using a scroll are sufficient light to read by and the actual verbalization of the writings. If the reading of a scroll is interrupted, the scroll effect is lost and that spell fades away and is lost.

Items that only activate when issues the proper verbal command will fail if the fail to register the intended utterance.

Dragon spells have only a verbal component. Some ixitxachitl act as priests, learning special versions of spells which have only verbal components, from the following spheres: Charm, Divination, Elemental (Water), Necromantic, Healing, Protection, and Sun (Darkness only). A dark naga casts spells as a 6th-level wizard (4,2,2), and employs only verbal spells.

Phaerimm, or other creatures who can cast spells with but a word or thought (act-of-will spells, as opposed to spell-like natural powers, can easily be altered into verbal-release magics... but the devising of a verbal-only version of a spell that normally has somatic and material components is not nearly so simple a matter). It may devise new spells, or verbal-only spell versions, itself by means of experimentation. Either means of acquiring new magics is slow and expensive, and this can often force dark nagas into servitude to a stronger evil creature or anyone who hires them, or into the life of an adventurer.

Tabaxi Lords use spells that require only verbal components. Drowned ones communicate among themselves by a form of telepathy; they have no need of a spoken language (other than for spellcasting). The verbal components for [their] spells are spoken in unintelligible whispers.

>>43684333
A impaired-speech wizard can use the spell vocalize to allow him to cast spells that normally require a verbal component. Casting these spells must take place within the duration of the vocalize spell. According to the Player's Handbook, the use of components is an optional rule. If components aren't used for spell casting in your campaign, it is assumed that the caster must be able to speak in order to cast any spell. Vocalize can still help a speech-impaired wizard if the components rules are not in use; otherwise, all of the rules for speech impaired wizards apply.

An impaired-speech wizard cannot use his familiar to speak verbal components, including those familiars capable of speech, since spells only operate if the wizard himself utters their verbal components.

Victims covered in liquid cannot use spells with verbal components (unless they are affected by water breathing or a similar spell or device that allows them to breathe underwater). The liquid can be removed by extensive toweling, entering a plane where gravity exists, or spinning the victim fast enough so that the liquid is flung from his body.

A wizard's ability to speak can be impaired as a result of disease, magic (such as a silence spell), or physical damage. A gagged wizard will also be unable to speak. No spell with a verbal component can be cast by a wizard with impaired speech; he must be able to enunciate each phrase or sound of a spell's verbal component clearly and distinctly for the spell to be successful. Ventriloquism cannot substitute for an impaired speech wizard's voice when he attempts to speak a spell's verbal component; ventriloquism is useless to a speech-impaired wizard, since it is an extension of sounds the wizard is normally able to make.

Two dogs together.

Never allow economy of action to be imbalanced. It's a death of game at design level.

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>>43662867
>Player wants to play a ranger

>>43662867
>A ranger who can talk to wolves
Eugh, you wont get weird magical powers randomly. No. Stopped there.

>>43667016
>Wants to be half-monster
Forget about it, your character wouldn't be able to take part in society like this. You would literally have to stay out of the cities or screw up the entire party.
Not to mention how much of a bad influence you would be on non-monster encounters on the road / in the wilds.

>>43670477
In real life witch wasn't a gender specific word.

>>43682907
I'd let a good roleplayer play a character like this. There's nothing mechanically wrong here. Although I would wonder why the character is a fighter and wants to get married. Conflict of interest? Also, wouldn't the big tits be an obstacle?

>>43665277
underrated post

>>43661759
Dogodia the Fur-bidden One

>>43661682
Hesitate at illiterate.
No at dog.

>>43661682
At the point where it became two dogs. My settings are often pretty tongue in cheek, so until then the wiz woulda probably fit in just fine with a proper backstory but two dogs is pushing it.

>>43684501
Not is she fights with the tits.

>>43667016
What's the book of vile darkness? Is it like the necronomicon?

>>43685561
Necronomicon on steroids. It's creation is a multi-plane spanning event of pure evil. Think of it as the "ultimate artifact of doom and evil".

>>43668535
>Charlemagne
>the guy that slept with a tablet under his pillow to practice his aweful handwriting
>illiterate

What kind of shit teacher do you take Boetius for?

>>43685447
Hah!

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>>43684501
I'd say it's an outlet for her rage and bloodlust.
Being someone who enjoys fighting and wanting to get married are not mutually exclusive.

The only real question is if she gets into any kind of serious relationship, and there is a dispute, will she beat her hubby/wify?

>>43667016
Canned at 1, and already considering "accidentally" not inviting the player to the game. If the player is under 16 or a new roleplayer, they get a free pass.
I've never, ever seen a half-breed done in a way that's not an excuse to create something more special and unique than anyone else can do, and/or a result of the player's furry/fanboy urge to smash together two things they really like with utterly no concern for playability or coherency.

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This was for gurps so at least there were rules for it
wants to play a wizard
with a demonic gorilla familiar
wants to be able to summon demons
the wizard is blind
and uses seeing eye demons
he is also mute but knows sign language
witch he uses to translate to his speaking mouth demons
he is actually completely paralyzed
so is carried on the back of his gorilla familiar
who he can communicate to telepathically
but doesn't obey him
the wizard is worn around the gorillas neck as a necklace
the wizard is actually trapped in a necklace with no means of perceiving the world except thru the eyes of his disloyal familiar, and no way to interact with it except to summon powerful demons he can't control

>>43688904
At the last point aren't you just playing the gorilla?

>>43661682
Went out at 2, came back in at 6, went back out at 11.

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Wants to play a priest
Wants to play a priest who fights unarmed
Wants to play a priest who fights unarmed and has electric punches
Wants to play a crab-man priest who fights unarmed and has electric punches
Wants to play a six-armed crab-man priest who fights unarmed and has electric punches
This is my next character, first game next week

>>43691712
>Six-armed
Clearly you don't know the first thing about crabs

>>43664846

A man cursed to turn into a wolf at times is fine but a innately half wolf/half man creature is just silly.

Okay.

>>43693014
mommy was a crab, daddy was one hell of a brave spider

>>43681716

Why do we no longer do that? I was going to join in then it stops just as I have time.

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>>43695016
this

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>>43661682

>>43688904
what the fucks the point in knowing sign language if you literally can't move?

>>43685502
>Not is she fights with the tits.
>Big titted MILF fighter
>Specializes in grappling
>Originally used her tits and ass to pin and smother opponents
>On accident learned on day she's strong enough to crush a man's head between her breasts
>Ass and thighs just as lethal
>Travels with trappy shota cleric
>He has a crush on her and she'd happily /ss/ him
>But trap cleric has been dragged off to a river because she needed "help" to wash off her last opponent one too many times
>Now the idea of her losing control during /ss/ leaves him with nightmares
>Nightmares and a strong, ever persistent fearboner as he can't help but wonder if it'd be worth it

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>>43661682
>Player wants to play a wizard
>An illiterate wizard
>An illiterate wizard with a picturebook spellbook
There, and on the condition that INT has to be his dump stat.
Haaaaave fuuuun!

>>43699583
>YFW he roles 5 18s and a 17 right in front of you

>>43698286
Go on...

>>43662867
>Non-serious answer:
#11 got me rock fucking hard. I'm in.
>Serious answer:
I'd start being extremely wary at #6 and just stop everything at #7. Everything past that threshold is where I call the cops.

>>43661682
Stop at #6, don't want to jump through the hoops of a character with multiple bodies.

>>43662867
>A ranger with wolf ears
>A ranger with a wolf ear and a tail
Not without an explanation.
>A ranger who can turn into a wolf
Get some levels in druid for wildshape and I'll allow it.
>A ranger who is half-wolf
No.
>A ranger who is a wolf
Fuck it, why not? Animal Setting. Everyone's an animal. But your wolf companion is a cohort now so you'll need the leadership feat to keep her.
>A ranger who is a wolf who fucks their wolf animal companion
I suppose if you end up married to them it'll be fine. But I'm not doing an ERP.
>Everything past that
Hahaha no.
>>43667016
Dead on #4.
>>43688904
In a comedic campaign, sure. Why not?