>>44022596
“So your name is Hartmut Harkin Halbschwert, yes?” You sat across the Mayor’s desk, nodding to every question he asks. You rubbed your gloves together, careful to remain stiff and orderly. First impressions are the only impressions after all. The mayor herself glances at you occasionally, looking at your accomplishments that you put down to ink on paper. Admittedly it wasn’t exactly well-prepared. In fact, you only came up with the idea of such a thing last night. And you had to spend quite a few coins asking someone to write it and dictate it for you. Reading is not exactly your strong suit after all. “You are from Solarno, across the sea.” She brushes her white hair back, grimacing a bit looking upon your list. “And… what is this?” She turns the paper over, showing off your crude drawing of you wielding your sword.

You smile, trying not to show your teeth. “Er, that is my demonstration of how I present myself in combat. You see, any thieves and right buggers that want to-“

She cuts you off, quirking her brow. “Why are you holding the sword by the blade?”

Ugh, this conversation again. “It’s an art, that my father taught me, and his father, and his father,” you explain for the hundredth time or so. “What it does-“ Wait for it. She’s going to ask it, isn’t she?

“You’ll cut your hands, won’t you?” she asks, as if talking to a baby.

You hold up your hands, showing off the specialized padded gauntlets that you wear. “I wear gloves, madam Mayor. And I have never in my life in the way that I wield my sword have cut my hands.”

[1/2]

>>44022612
[2/2]

You sigh. Maybe you shouldn’t have drawn that. It’s usually a dealbreaker towards people who want to hire you at all. That and your short stature and your inability to read. She leans back in her seat, nodding, not even giving you some sort of smile or frown or anything. “Listen, Mister Halbschwert. Ohlendorf’s Drift is a very poor town, and despite that, we have no problems with crime or with monsters or… well anything. The last criminal who attempted to steal a bag of gold pieces winded up getting tar and feathered by the mining community who make up the vast majority of residents here. And the miners while… eccentric, perhaps, are very reliable peacekeepers in their own right. Introducing an Adventurer will do nothing but present a new financial…”

She’s speaking very big words.

And involuntarily, you might have spaced out. This was a nice room after all, if barebones. You guess a poor town like Ohlendorf’s Drift might not have much in the way of luxury.

“And let’s see here.” You blink. “Even if we did want to hire an Adventurer, your records are not exactly impressive.” Really? You thought exterminating a nest of wild hogs was pretty impressive. Hogs are very slippery. And they eat everything, everything! “For example…”

> “Your honesty in stating that you ASSISTED in the slaying of an Elder Dragon is admirable, but it dilutes your accomplishment considering it says here you had the help of fifty other Adventurers.”
> “The extermination of an Ogre is impressive, the fact that Ogre was your size is not.”
> “Your actions at the Siege of the Goblin Hold of Terresko are admirable at first glance, but participation in the reinforcing wave after the initial Goblin line fell is not exactly flattering.”

>>44022626
>> “The extermination of an Ogre is impressive, the fact that Ogre was your size is not.”

>>44022626
>> “Your honesty in stating that you ASSISTED in the slaying of an Elder Dragon is admirable, but it dilutes your accomplishment considering it says here you had the help of fifty other Adventurers.”

>>44022626
> “The extermination of an Ogre is impressive, the fact that Ogre was asleep is not.”

>>44022626
>> “The extermination of an Ogre is impressive, the fact that Ogre was your size is not.”

>>44022626
>“The extermination of an Ogre is impressive, the fact that Ogre was your size is not.”

>>44022626
>“Your honesty in stating that you ASSISTED in the slaying of an Elder Dragon is admirable, but it dilutes your accomplishment considering it says here you had the help of fifty other Adventurers.”

>>44022626
> “Your honesty in stating that you ASSISTED in the slaying of an Elder Dragon is admirable, but it dilutes your accomplishment considering it says here you had the help of fifty other Adventurers.”

>>44022626

> “Your honesty in stating that you ASSISTED in the slaying of an Elder Dragon is admirable, but it dilutes your accomplishment considering it says here you had the help of fifty other Adventurers.”

>>44022626
> “Your actions at the Siege of the Goblin Hold of Terresko are admirable at first glance, but participation in the reinforcing wave after the initial Goblin line fell is not exactly flattering.”

SIEGES!

Still my favourite quest in this setting.

>>44022626
> “The extermination of an Ogre is impressive, the fact that Ogre was your size is not.”

>>44022626
>> “Your actions at the Siege of the Goblin Hold of Terresko are admirable at first glance, but participation in the reinforcing wave after the initial Goblin line fell is not exactly flattering.”

>>44022626
>> “Your actions at the Siege of the Goblin Hold of Terresko are admirable at first glance, but participation in the reinforcing wave after the initial Goblin line fell is not exactly flattering.”

I wonder if we worked for that Prince and his charming Engineer.

>>44022626
>> “The extermination of an Ogre is impressive, the fact that Ogre was your size is not.”

This the only sensible choice here.

> “Your honesty in stating that you ASSISTED in the slaying of an Elder Dragon is admirable, but it dilutes your accomplishment considering it says here you had the help of fifty other Adventurers.”

“Well…” You cough loudly, trying to find rhythm to your voice. “I mean, he was a very vicious Ogre! He had a sword that was long as I was! And his teeth too- I can show you the scars if you want!” You begin to untie your leather breastplate to show her.

“No, no, Mister Halbschwert.” She stops you. She shakes her head, frustratingly rubbing her temples. “I do not need to see the scars. I believe you when you say you killed an Ogre. I simply do not think it is very impressive considering he was your size.” She leans back in her seat, again scrutinizing you with those dark brown eyes of hers. “And while I do not wish to insult you, you are very small, Mister Halbschwert.”

You blink. “Erm. I am five feet five inches, that’s not entirely small.”

“You are not helping your case,” she says quickly. You sigh, looking down at the floor. “Mister Halbschwert, while it is nice that you volunteer your services. We simply do not have want or need of Adventurers in Ohlendorf’s Drift.” She stands up, groaning in exertion as she takes up her cane and hobbles over to you. Age seems to have caught up to her as she grumbles a little. “You are free to take up a job in Ohlendorf’s Drift, perhaps become a miner. But officially, we will not sponsor you as an Adventurer to claim treasures in our town’s name. I apologize.”

You sit there for what feels like hours. But eventually, you do have to nod and stand up. “Thank you, madam Mayor.” She nods, shaking your hand. Take it like a man, this isn’t the first time a town, a guild, or even a family desperately in need of help has refused your service. You walk to her door, and step back into the main hallway of Ohlendorf’s Drift’s Town Center. You sigh, grabbing your sword by the scabbard resting it on your shoulder. Time for the walk of shame.

>>44023541
[2/3]

Suddenly, on your shoulder, your partner in crime arrives. “So, did you get the job?”

“No,” you say. You look at him sitting on your shoulder. Spellcats are known for their mystery, their ability to cast magic, and attention to detail.

Not this one.

> Muck <
> Hartmut’s Spellcat and Magic Companion <

Muck’s single cyclopean eye glances around your face, surprised. “Are you sure? Did we hire the wrong person to write that list of meritorious accomplishments?”

“Big words, Muck,” you mutter.

“I mean, list of good things you did,” he says. “Did that not work?” You shake your head. You think it might have just made things worse actually. “Damn. We wasted that money for nothing. That was my food money too, you owe me.” You grab him by the scruff of his neck and hold him up to your face. “Ow!”

“Muck, can we please not start about money right now?” you ask.

He goes limp, his ghostly arms and legs hanging from his body. “I guess. I mean, it’s not like I can physically eat anything anyway.” He melts onto your hand, then immediately wraps around and goes back to sitting on your shoulder. “You and me, Hartmut, we are castaways, exiles, throwaways of this world.” You step through the door, and are immediately assaulted by the heat of the summer day. Stepping out onto the walkway, you look down into the water below you.

Ohlendorf’s Drift was a small town, built upon the delta of the Elder River to make use of the water for farming. But ever since the main highway passed over the town in favor of Delta Town years ago, the town began a slow decline. And that decline become an outright disappearance if the nearby mine ever dries up. You sigh. You thought an old dying town would need someone like you, someone to shake things up! You guess you were wrong.

>>44023565
[3/3]

Muck taps your cheek. “Hey. Don’t be sad. We can always find someone who needs help.”

You roll your eyes. “Yeah, like my dear mum.”

“There’s nothing wrong with going back home!” he says.

“There is if I have nothing to show for it, you know that,” you mutter under your breath. Muck relaxes on your shoulder, lying there. “Just… can we please-“

“Help!” The two of you flinch, looking in the direction of whoever said that. You immediately burst into a sprint, going towards the sound of someone in need of someone to help them! You stop up when you see a child crying her ears out, a few people standing next to her trying to comfort her.

“What’s the matter?” you and Muck ask simultaneously.

She sniffles, pointing out into the middle of the large canal. “My kitty is stuck!” You turn your head to see a cat, meowing as it sits on a pole in the middle of the canal.

How does a cat get all the way out there over water?

> “Say no more. I’ll get your cat.”
> “I’ll get your cat. For a price.”
> “Er. Muck, can you handle this?”
> Other

>>44023583
>Leap into the water, no time to chat!

>>44023541
I quoted the wrong option.

>> “The extermination of an Ogre is impressive, the fact that Ogre was your size is not.”

This won. Pay no attention to my mistakes.

>>44023583
> “Say no more. I’ll get your cat.”

>>44023583
>“Say no more. I’ll get your cat.”

>>44023583
>> “Say no more. I’ll get your cat.”

>>44023583
>> “Say no more. I’ll get your cat.”

>>44023583
Mentally whether we know how to swim.

If yes, jump in there and grab the kittycat. It's not as though its' a river

>>44023583
>> “Say no more. I’ll get your cat.”

>>44023583
>“Say no more. I’ll get your cat.”

>>44023583
> “Er. Muck, can you handle this?”

This options existence makes me think that we can't swim.

>>44023583
>> “Say no more. I’ll get your cat.”

>>"Shut your gob, you vapid cunt. I'll save your pussy"

>>44023785
i think it's mostly the fact that a spellcat might have luck convincing a regular cat?

>>44023583
> “Say no more. I’ll get your cat.”

>>44023741
>whether we know how to swim.

Irrelivant! We are a Hero! Irregardless of our swimming ability, we will save the cat!

> “Say no more. I’ll get your cat.”

You nod. “Say no more, child. Your cat will be safe in just a little bit of time!” you declare. You hand her sword, still resting in the scabbard. She stops crying when she holds her sword, amazed at its length comparative to her. “Here, hold that.” You take off your gloves and undo your cloak, quickly handing them off to her as well. “Hold these too.”

Muck says, “Would you like to give her your coinpurse as well?” You might as well. You reach for it. “Ah, ah, ah, I’ll take that for you.” He snatches it up in his mouth and sits down on the walkway. You jump into the water. It’s actually very nice to be immersed in this water. It’s warm, and it’s clean too! You can practically see the bottom of the river like this! But still, your feet don’t find any solid footing, and you are caught in a slight current. So you might as well get to it, and fast. “So when did you learn to swim?” asks Muck.

“I can swim, Muck!” you yell. “Just not good!” You force yourself through the water towards the pole. A short distance, and you do find some footing on rocks. Problem is if you do find footing, you’re up to your nose in water. Being short has its disadvantages you guess. But soon enough, you grab the pole, and climb up. You shiver a little at being exposed out of the water, but up goes your hand for the cat. It meows again, looking at you. “Come on, kitty.” The townspeople and the little girl encourage the cat to get onto your hand. “Come on.”

It immediately leaps onto your face, digging her claws into your cheeks.

[1/2]

>>44024160
[2/2]

Okay, not the worst thing in the world. It’s not even painful.

It climbs up onto the top of your head, clinging onto you as you make your way back to the walkaway. The few scant people and the little girl cheer you on as you climb back up. “Wow! Kitty!” She grabs her cat off of you, dropping your equipment, and rubs her cheek against the cat’s own cheek. “Aw, you’re safe!”

You smile, picking up your sword, your cloak, and your gloves. “Safe and sound like I said.”

One of the townspeople smiles, happily shaking your hand. “Good work there, mister!” You nod, smiling as well. Your chest is filling with pride now. Even if you aren’t being paid, the children are what count first.

The girl tugs on your sleeve, smiling. “Thanks!” She reaches into her pocket, then presents a single silver piece to you. “Here you go!”

> “Keep it.”
> “Thanks, kid.”
> Other

>>44024181
> “Keep it.”

>>44024181
> “Keep it.”

>>44024181
>> “Thanks, kid.”

>>44024181
>> “Keep it.”

>>44024181
> “Keep it.”

>>44024181
>> “Thanks, kid.”

>>44024181
>“Thanks, kid.”

>>44024181
Keep your money, it's alright. I wasn't going to let your cat drown; one dead fluffball's quite enough for me. Though I'd be grateful if I could lodge at your home for tonight.

>>44024333
nice try pedobear

>>44024181
>> “Thanks, kid.”

>>44024194
>>44024272
>>44024327
>Taking money from a kid

Holy fuck, the rumors were true, 4chan is filled with psychopaths.

>>44024554
Beggars can't be choosers

>>44024181
> “Keep it.”
But is there somewhere in town I can spend the night?

>>44024554
Meh, we are a paid adventurer. I just go with paid meaning contracted rather than working for tips.

>>44024554
I hardly see how accepting like ten bucks in exchange for saving a cat makes you a psychopath.

>>44024484
Hello, troll. Here is your reply

>>44024700
fag

> “Keep it.”

You gently push her hand back towards her. “Keep it, kid. That silver will do you more good than me.”

She blinks, surprised. “Are you sure?” You nod. “Wow.” She looks up to you, smiling with her gap front teeth. “That’s real kingly of you, Mister. Thanks!” She hugs her cat tightly, and then walks away, waving goodbye to you. “I’m gonna tell my ma and pa about you!” The townspeople shake your head, telling you how nice of a thing you did for her. But just as soon as they arrived, they leave you to do their own work. A little impersonal, but you won’t bother them. It’s their town after all.

Muck taps your cheek, getting your attention. “That silver piece would’ve bought us a nice apple to eat you know.”

You shrug. “We can afford to go hungry for the kids, Muck.”

“If this is what you do for children, I’m not ready to see you become a father,” he says. The two of you keep on walking along the walkway. Maybe there’s a tavern you can stay at for the night. “Wait, stop.” You stop in your tracks. “Look at this.” You come up to a paper, nailed to a post written in the Therindel Vernacular.

“By the King!” you yell. “It’s a piece of paper!”

Muck slaps you upside the head. “I am aware it is a piece of paper! But look what it-“ You stare at him, disappointedly. “… oh. Sorry, forgot.”

[1/2]

>>44025000
[2/2]

“Just read it,” you say.

“Says here the town is having a town meeting tonight.” Muck nudges your shoulder. “You know what that means. That means this town probably has problems. Problems we can be paid to solve!”

You cross your arms. “Uh. I don’t know, Muck. Aren’t town meetings for people who actually live in town?”

“No, no! Think about it!” He waves his paw around, trying to make you imagine the circumstances. “The town will bitterly declare their problem to each other. They are powerless to stop say… a dragon from torching their crops, or a band of feral kobolds are destroying their boats! Or maybe even Vogelvolk rustlers are stealing their livestock in the night! And you will swoop in in the middle of the meeting, and declare your intention to help these people!” He slaps your shoulder. “They will eat right out of your hands, Hartmut!’

You curl your lip, then stare at the paper. “Is that really what it says? That they need help with any of that?” He stares at you, then looks back at the paper. You sigh, probably not. He’s definitely not lying about the meeting though.

> “Forget it. Taverns always have people in need anyway.”
> “Sure, we can sit in, like proper folk.”
> “I love the idea of sweeping, swooping, whatever the word is, in the middle of it. Let’s do that.”
> Other

>>44025033
> “I love the idea of sweeping, swooping, whatever the word is, in the middle of it. Let’s do that.”

>>44025033
>> “Sure, we can sit in, like proper folk.”

>>44025033
>“I love the idea of sweeping, swooping, whatever the word is, in the middle of it. Let’s do that.”

>>44025033
> “Sure, we can sit in, like proper folk.”

>>44025033
> “I love the idea of sweeping, swooping, whatever the word is, in the middle of it. Let’s do that.”

I know we will make fools of ourselves but I really love this idea.

>>44025033
>> “Sure, we can sit in, like proper folk.”

>>44025033
> “Sure, we can sit in, like proper folk.”

>>44025033
> “Sure, we can sit in, like proper folk.”

>>44025033
>> “I love the idea of sweeping, swooping, whatever the word is, in the middle of it. Let’s do that.”

>>44025181
>Inb4 they're talking about cabbage tax and we offer to save them.

>>44025486
Let Harmut save YOU from tyrant taxes!

Muck and I will teach you how to reclassify your cabbages as livestock!

>>44025615
THE POWER OF CREATIVE ACCOUNTING COMPELS YOU! BE GONE FOUL PERCENTAGE!

> “Sure, we can sit in, like proper folk.”

“We can go there, Muck. But we go there when everyone else does, and we sit in, like proper civilized folk.”

Muck huffs. “No fun.”

You roll your eyes, sighing. “Muck, it’s a good thing I’m here to balance out your bad ideas.” You catch him by the scruff of his neck, and then toss him into your satchel. “Come on, tough guy. We’ll catch a meal than we’ll go.”

He coughs, poking his head out of your bag. “You know I hate traveling in your satchel! It smells like horse apples in here!”

-

-

As expected of a town that’s mostly centered around a mine, you mostly find large men and women covered in black dust wearing thick leathers and helmets. They must have just recently came out of it, considering they all smell absolutely terrible. The rest of the townsfolk, the scant few merchants, boat tenders, and the families of miners, all sit around like little islands in a sea of black and brown. At the front of the town hall stood the Mayor herself, backed up by some of her retinue, a guardswoman, her financial minster, the works. You sit down way in the back, so as to not draw too much attention to yourself. “In the back? Not wanting to really put yourself out there?” asks Muck.

“No, this is their town, let’s not muscle in on a problem that we can’t solve,” you say.

[1/3]

>>44026151
[2/3]

The Mayor clears her throat, talking into a loud funnel which projects her voice. “Alright. Welcome everybody, I must assume we are all here. First off, I would like to thank the efforts of Mister Hadley Hawkins and his daughter Henriette for tending the fields and keeping the town supplied with fresh corn!” She smiles, motioning her hand to a pair of incredibly tired looking people. A farmer and his daughter, who appear to be covered in dirt and corn kernels. A small round of applause fills the room, but nothing exciting. “… yes. Well. We are fed plenty by the efforts of the Hawkins family! So, thank you again, you two.” They all grumble, too tired to even speak. “… right. First order of business. We must address the ever er…” She sighs, rolling her eyes. “Mister Coalhearth.”

“Aye!” One of the big miners raises his hand. “Whaddya need?”

“For the last time, Ohlendorf’s Drift is not at risk of being taken over by dwarf immigrants.”

“They’re already stealing jobs up north!” yells Coalhearth. “Just wait ‘til they come down south and they start mining our metal and eating our food!” The miners all raise their fists, yelling over Coalhearth in agreement.

“Settle down, settle down!” The Mayor knocks her gavel into the podium. “For the last time! The dwarves aren’t coming here! The mine’s nearly depleted, they have no reason to come here!”

“’Cept for your bosom!” yells a random miner. The Mayor throws her gavel at him. “Agh!” She quickly retrieves a new one.

>>44026185
[3/3]

“Right.” She tosses the paper containing that particular case away. “Now, the real first order of business. The expansion of the town guard. We have currently twenty people defending a town of only one hundred and thirty two, more than enough considering you miners scare off most thieves and cutthroats anyway.” They all brag to each other, grinning and hooting in delight at the compliment. “But it is an interesting theory. Raise your hands if we shall expand it by ten men.” A number of hands go up, and the Mayor quickly scans the room. “… Majority has been reached. Very well, we will recruit ten new members of the town guard.” She clears her throat again, shifting to a new paper. “Second order of business. Renovation of the road leading to the mine, that has been coming for a while but the funding has not come just yet. We simply do not have money to renovate and repair that old road.”

You’re already spacing out. Ugh. You look to Muck and quietly whisper to him. “These people have no real problems.”

“Why are we even here,” asks Muck.

“Because you said to be here,” you say. “And this is the last town in Therindel that-”

You hear the Mayor clear her throat again. All eyes are upon you and Muck. You smile, quickly silencing yourself and stuffing Muck back into your satchel. “Is there something you would like to say, Mister Halbschwert?”

> “Um. No. Continue.”
> “Well, my services are always up for grabs if you’re willing to pay.”
> “I can pave that road for half of what real cobblers ask!”
> Other

>>44026217
> “Um. No. Continue.”

>>44026217
>> “Well, my services are always up for grabs if you’re willing to pay.”

>>44026217
>“Well, my services are always up for grabs if you’re willing to pay.”

>>44026217
>“Well, my services are always up for grabs if you’re willing to pay.”

>>44026217
>> “Well, my services are always up for grabs if you’re willing to pay.”

>>44026217
>> “Well, my services are always up for grabs if you’re willing to pay.”

>>44026217
>“Well, my services are always up for grabs if you’re willing to pay.”

>>44026217
>> “I can pave that road for half of what real cobblers ask!”

>>44026217
>> “Um. No. Continue.”
Just arguing with my ghost cat.

>>44025746
MAKE COMPOUND INTEREST COMPOUND INTERESTING

ROYAL BEURACRATS WANT TO BAN THIS NEAT TRICK

>>44026572

TAX COLLECTORS HATE HIM!

>>44026217
This right here >>44026567

>>44026586
You WON'T BELIEVE this one freaky tip for finding magic swords!

> “Well, my services are always up for grabs if you’re willing to pay.”

You stand up, placing your hands on your belt and stepping into the middle of the aisle. “Ah, yes, well.” You whistle a little, feeling everyone’s eyes on you. You look around, finding little sympathy from the townsfolk. If that little girl whose cat you saved is in here somewhere, you can’t see her. “My name is Hartmut Harkin Halbschwert, I’m an Adventurer. I seek out treasures, slay monsters, and defend truth and justice in Therindel!” You grin, looking at everyone.

One miner pipes up. “You’re pretty short, ain’t ya?” Laughs explode across the room. You can feel some heat trailing up into your cheeks. Yeah, you try not to let it get to you. “Hey, I got an adventure for you under my table! Won’t even need to hunch over! Haha!”

“People!” yells the Mayor. “Do not bully the Adventurer! He is offering his… unneeded services to us at relatively cheap charge.” The laughing slowly dies down, but the damage is done. You slowly step back towards your seat, grumbling a little. Downright rude, these people. “Regardless of what Mister Halbschwert thinks, we do have problems. But they cannot be solved by bashing them in the head with a sword!”

“Obviously y’ain’t trying hard enough,” mutters a miner.

The Mayor huffs. “Feh. Okay. Next order of business. The expansion of the local tavern to accommodate more ale and…” She sighs. “More service women. How vote do you vote?” All hands in the room are raised. “Very well, majority reached. Now-” The Mayor is interrupted by her guardswoman tapping her shoulder. “Huh, what is it?” She whispers into the Mayor’s ear. “What? What?” Her confused look turns into one of stark realization, then one of terror, then one of clever thought. “Oh, I see. Okay.” She turns to you. “Mister Halbschwert.” You stand up again. “Maybe we do need your services.”

[1/2]

>>44027251
[2/2]

You grin, stepping back into the aisle and running up to the podium. “What do you need?” you declare.

She stares at you, dumbfounded. “Um. I could have just addressed you from-“ She stops herself. “No, nevermind. My good guardswoman here has a job for you.” You look at her, and she quirks her brow skeptically at you. She places her hands on her hips, looking to you sternly. Frightful. A few miners whistle a little, admirably. “She will gladly pay you in gold for it, if you are willing to take it.”

“What’s the job?” you ask frantically.

“I am not willing to say, not in front of everyone,” says the Mayor. “Will you take it or not?”

> “Yes, yes!”
> “Well, no. Sorry, I’m a little not trusting of it.”
> Other

>>44027269
>> “Yes, yes!”

>>44027269
>> “Yes, yes!”
Maybe now my ghost cat will shut up.

>>44027269
>“Yes, yes!”
This will not end well.

>>44027269
>“Yes, yes!”

I'm not too enthusiastic about those mix of expressions you had right before you called me out, but I'm happy to help!

>>44027269
> “Yes, yes!”

>>44027269
>“Yes, yes!”

I will do the things!

>>44027269
>> “Yes, yes!”

>>44027395
We're the best doer of things this side of the kingdom.

>>44027269
>Other

That depends. I will require certain fees, of course. How much?

File: Joyous lewds.gif (534 KB, 427x240)

534 KB GIF

>>44027507
On the other side of the kingdom, a poor merchant is the best "doer"of "things"

>>44027269
> “Yes, yes!”

>>44027566
She just wants to cuddle us. Maybe some handholding is involved.

>>44027269
>> “Well, no. Sorry, I’m a little not trusting of it.”

File: Blush.gif (48 KB, 356x200)

48 KB GIF

>>44027662

>>44027662
DISGUSTING. YOU ANON ARE ABSOLUTELY SICKENING.

>>44027662
Will she ___spoon_____ us?

Holy shit this quest is hilarious.

You're awesome, Schteel.

>>44027761
Who knows, but I sure hope we can pat her head

File: Spoiler Image (1.9 MB, 368x340)

1.9 MB GIF

>>44027804
So Bold!

>>44027872
>>44027804
>>44027761
STOP I'M GONNA REPORT YOU MY DAD WORKS FOR MOOT2

> “Yes, yes!”

“Oh, yes, of course! I will!” You almost jump for joy, smiling happily. “Wh- what do I have to do?” The guardswoman steps off, then takes your collar and starts dragging you out of the hall. Everyone watches you leave, their heads swiveling to track you. “I promise you, Mayor! I will come back, glorious and a bigger man!” The doors shut before you can keep on talking. The guardswoman stands you up more properly, dusting you off. “Th- thank you, Miss! I won’t ever forget this, I swear to you I-“ She places her finger on your lips, silencing you.

She looks at you, heavy bags under her eyes, and an incredibly skeptical look on her face. “I am only hiring you to do this because I’m too tired to do it myself and the Town Guard has better things to do.” She places her hands on her hips, looking at you. She’s certainly taller than you, probably just by an inch or two. “So, Mister Halbschwert. Up the river ‘bout a quarter mile per say, there is a small lake.” You nod, patting your satchel. Muck immediately crawls up your arm and onto your shoulder, intending to memorize it for you if you can’t remember anything. “There is a dragon there, ‘bout twice yer size, not saying much.” You nod, figures. “And it feeds exclusively on the fish in that lake. It scares away the fishers and it gorges itself on fish that we could be eating ourselves. But I and my guards have mostly ignored it because it doesn’t go into town itself or harm anybody.”

“You want me to kill a dragon?” You smile happily, biting your lip and looking up to her in glee.

“Yes,” she says. “Get your horse, I will escort ya there.”

You blink. “Horse?” She quirks her brow, nodding. “I walked here, I don’t own a horse.”

[1/2]

>>44028250
[2/2]

“Ugh.” She sighs. “Fine, I’ll get you a horse, but only for tonight.” She starts walking away, intending for you to follow her. “Well, come on!” You nod, smiling at Muck. He gives you a smile right back. You’ve did it! You’re getting paid to slay something again! Ha! “Halbschwert, right?” You nod. She offers her hand, and you shake it. “Dottie Dunne.”

> Dottie Dunne <
> Captain of Ohlendorf’s Drift Town Guard <

“Nice to meet you!” you declare. “It’s uh…” A few guardsmen bring in some horses for you two to ride. Dottie takes up her one, yawning a little, squinting as she takes up a torch for a night ride. “Um. I’ve never ridden a horse before.” You look at one horse, and find that it massively outsizes you. A pair of guardsmen quickly throw you on, and you cling to the saddle and the horse’s neck for dear life. “Oh, there we go!”

Dottie grunts. “Follow me.” She gallops down the walkway. You kick the stirrups, and the horse quickly follows after. Either it’s well-trained and knows how to follow Dottie, or you got incredibly lucky!

-

-

[2/3]

>>44028274
[3/3]

Just a quarter of the mile up from Ohlendorf’s Drift, you do indeed find a small lake lit up in the moonlight. Dottie douses her torch in the river, and then motions you to follow you by cover of night. You aren’t really commanding the horse at this point as you stride up the lake’s edge. But there in the glistening moonlight you do see it, a dragon snapping and gnawing at fish hopping out of the water. Its scales had fully formed too, but judging by the short snout this one didn’t breathe any sort of element at all. That was a worry coming up here. Dottie stops up, and you dismount off of the dragon. “Right. Kill the dragon,” she says.

You nod. “Okay.” You pull your sword out of your scabbard, then grip the blade and ready yourself.

“What are you doing?” Ugh, this question again. “Why are you holding your sword like that?” she asks.

> “You’ll see. Well, as much as you can see in the dark.”
> Explain it to her, in detail, you might as well.
> “Look, I don’t have time to explain it to you, I’m going to go kill that dragon.”
> Other

>>44028290
> “Look, I don’t have time to explain it to you, I’m going to go kill that dragon.”

>>44028290
>> “Look, I don’t have time to explain it to you, I’m going to go kill that dragon.”

File: mordhau.jpg (481 KB, 1228x819)

481 KB JPG

>>44028290
>“Look, I don’t have time to explain it to you, I’m going to go kill that dragon.”

Is it Mordhau time?

>>44028290
>Explain it to her, in detail, you might as well.

>>44028290
> “You’ll see. Well, as much as you can see in the dark.”

>>44028327
Yes.

>>44028290
>> “Look, I don’t have time to explain it to you, I’m going to go kill that dragon.”
Let's goo

File: Fear the Deko.gif (1.89 MB, 400x225)

1.89 MB GIF

>>44028290
>“Look, I don’t have time to explain it to you, I’m going to go kill that dragon.”

Lessons can be provided for a modest fee afterwards.
Now then TO BATTLE!

>>44028290
>> Explain it to her, in detail, you might as well.

>>44028390
>Now then TO BATTLE!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_FQU4KzN7A

>>44028290
>“Look, I don’t have time to explain it to you, I’m going to go kill that dragon.”

Our legend begins this night!

>>44028290
>> “Look, I don’t have time to explain it to you, I’m going to go kill that dragon.”

>>44028290
>you dismount off of the dragon. “Right. Kill the dragon,”

Horf

>>44028472
My bad.

>>44028472
Hah, didn't see that.

Is that why our "horse" is so clever?

>>44028472
Pre-Battle dragon riding! Our battle skill is even mightier than anticipated!

>>44028579
OP did say it massively outsized us; this is obviously a dragon in a pantomime horse costume

>>44028720
Clever girl

> “Look, I don’t have time to explain it to you, I’m going to go kill that dragon.”

You grip your sword tighter. “Look, I don’t have time to explain myself. I’m going to go kill that dragon. You’ll see it isn’t stupid.” She stares at you, tiredly, skeptically, confusedly, a bit of all three at once actually. Whatever, you’re not in this to prove it to her anyway. You’re proving yourself against everyone back in town. You slowly walk up the edge of the lake.

“Hey,” she yells quietly. “Aren’t you going to sneak up on it?”

“No,” you say back. The dragon snaps a fish in its jaws. It shakes his head furiously, ripping the poor thing asunder in its jaws. You drum your fingers along the edge of the blade carefully, sticking your tongue out.

Muck pokes his head out of your satchel. “Need my help any?”

“No, I think I can take him myself,” you say. “But be ready to splash him with an ice potion.” He nods, picking a potion out with his mouth and hopping out into cover. You hunch over, leaning forward into a battle ready position. You whistle to the dragon. “Hey! Tsk! Tsk! Hey!” It stops chewing on its meal, then looks to you. The teeth it bears are sharper than most swords you see at the High City. And its eyes blink inward side to side as its dual pupils in each eye track you. The dragon squawks at you, hunching down on its legs and the ends of its wings. “Yeah, you!” You point to it. “You and me!”

“It doesn’t understand Vernacular ya mook!” yells Dottie. You roll your eyes. Can’t you do things your way just this once?

[1/2]

>>44029019
[2/2]

The dragon charges at you, screeching as it holds its wings up high way to make itself bigger. Focus, focus. You plant your feet steady. Then crack, you smash him in the face with your crossguard. The dragon stumbles backward, stunned. There’s no visible damage to the face, but the stunning is all you need. Again, you bash him with the pommel, sending his snout down into the ground. It squawks again, flaring its wings out before you can go for a killing blow to the neck.

Damn, okay. Think fast. You take a look at it as it begins rising up. Face is no-go, too solid. Jaws are too risky. Eyes are too small. Chest, what about the chest? The scales are probably like any other dragon, incredibly durable but…

The scales, they don’t overlap! There’s gaps! You grin, then hunch over. You dodge the snapping of its jaws as it leans right over you, showing off its chest right in your face. Perfect! You stuff the tip of the blade between the scales, then shove the rest of the sword right in. The dragon screeches, seizing up as you force it onto its back. It writhes as you pull out your sword, then find its heart. Again, you poke and prod with the tip, then find a weakness between the scales. There, you shove it in. The dragon goes stiff, then limps, completely dead.

You grin, pulling your sword out and quickly shaking it to rid it of the black blood of the dragons. “Nice work!” Muck calls out. You look back, and see a stunned Dottie and a jumping and cheering Muck. “Whoo! You showed that little dragon who’s biggest!”

You smile, patting Muck on the head as you wipe your blade clean with a rag. Dottie looks down at you as you return to her and the horses. “How did you do that? That dragon blocked all of our sharpest swords when we first tried to kill it.”

> “Well, my father, and his father, and his father, and his father…”
> “Hey, I can show you back at town if you’d like.”
> “Grit and determination. All you really need.”
> Other

>>44029033
>> “Hey, I can show you back at town if you’d like.

>>44029033
> “Well, my father, and his father, and his father, and his father…”
Have always said, wacking a dragon with a blade is a good way to have no blade. So wack it with something more solid.

>>44029033
>Grin like the fucking retard you are.

>>44029033

Explain our master sword technique and how we applied it in the battle.

Is she cute?

>>44029033
>“Well, my father, and his father, and his father, and his father…”

>>44029033
> Other
"That costs extra."

>>44029033
>“Hey, I can show you back at town if you’d like.”

>>44029033
>> “Well, my father, and his father, and his father, and his father…”

>>44029033
>“Well, my father, and his father, and his father, and his father…”

Had a great fondness of smashing things, yet also had an equally great fondness of really big swords.

>>44029033
>other

Explain through use of a long parable

>>44029033

> “Well, my father, and his father, and his father, and his father…”

>>44029116
She's as cute as you want her to be.

>>44029033

>"I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."

>>44029133
Seconding.

>>44029033
>“Well, my father, and his father, and his father, and his father…”

>>44029033
>“Well, my father, and his father, and his father, and his father…”

An ancient family technique known as "suprise, asshole!"

>>44029033
>> “Well, my father, and his father, and his father, and his father…”

So are we going to use this dragon for its scales etc.?

File: MH3U-Rathalos_X_Armor_Render.jpg (194 KB, 503x446)

194 KB JPG

>>44029824
Skin it and turn it into a hat.

>>44029033
>Other
"This is the sword I'll use to kill the GodHand!"

> “Well, my father, and his father, and his father, and his father…”

“Well, my father, and his father, and his father, and his father, and his father, and his father, and his father, and his father, and so on and so forth… we live in an area underneath the Great Dragon Migration that happens yearly. Dragons fly over regularly and we needed to make our kills quick and efficient or we’d be swamped.” You hurriedly and clumsily climb back onto your hose. “So… that’s how the technique got started?”

“Does it have a name?” she asks.

“Not really,” you say. “I mean, you could name it Halbschwert if you’d like. But…” You look down, and find the horse’s arse in front of you. You look back to see the horse’s head, it turning around to examine the area. Ah. You look back at Dottie, who stares at you as if you were a complete idiot. Well, this is the first time in a while that you got to ride a horse. You quickly turn around and right yourself. “Shall we uh… head back?”

She nods. “Follow me.” Muck climbs up and rides on your shoulder. He holds up a paw, and you quickly slap it in joy, smiling. Another dragon down. “I’ll send someone to retrieve its corpse later.”

-

-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkR79UXPh3M

You lean back and count each and every gold piece that Dottie places down on the table for you. As the rest of the tavern goes on and parties without you, all you hear is the clinking of hard won gold pieces. Fourty five, fourty six, fourty seven, fourty eight, fourty nine!

“Fifty.” She shoves it all towards you. “Fifty pieces for the death of the dragon.” You smile happily, tapping your hands along the table and grinning at her. She yawns a little, writing it off in her notepad. “And that will end that business, may even give us a marginal increase in fish catches this year hopefully.” You nod, quickly shoving all the coins carefully into your coinpurse. “You know, you could just use an inventory rift for that.”

[1/2]

>>44030126
[2/2]

You shake your head. “Me and mine don’t believe in using those. It’s uh…” You shrug. “Family tradition.” She nods slowly. “So uh…” You smile, tenting your hands and leaning across the table towards her. “You got any more things for me to do?”

She shrugs. “Unfortunately, that was the only thing I did have for you to do, and only really as a means of… pitying you.” You nod slowly. “I must say, I don’t mean to insult you or your way of swordsmanship but er, do you think you could do something other than adventuring?”

You grunt, leaning back in your seat and taking a quick chug of the ale she bought for you. “Ah, well. No.” She tilts her head. “I mean, I can’t read. I’m too short to do the big stuff demanded of me back on the farm and… really, I just want to seek fame and fortune out here in Therindel! The home of all humans! The Kingdom!”

“I see.” She leans back in her seat as well, crossing her legs. “You know, there’s more things to fortune and glory than just slaying a monster and finding treasure in the ground. At least, that’s what my family always raised me to believe. It’s why I’m the Captain of the Guard here.” You nod, fair, fair. She yawns, scratching at her cheek. “Tiring work but eh, I like it. Not much happens here, people solve their own issues quickly.”

“But surely there must be something you want me to do!” you declare.

“You’re starting to sound more like a desperate immigrant than an Adventurer,” she says. Fair point. She stands up, yawning loudly. “Oh, goodness me! Well, I should retire for the night, it’s late. You should too.”

[2/3]

>>44030149
[3/3]

You motion to the empty seat across from you. “Don’t want another drink or… something?”

She grunts. “Why would I? I need to get up early tomorrow anyway.”

One of the guards at the bar yells to her. “Hey! You never get up early, Dottie!” Dottie stares at you, obviously trying to sell her deception. “We always have to wake ya up, yeah! She’d sleep through a snowstorm!” Her staring intensifies.

> “Fine, I won’t bother.”
> “Seriously, stay! I can tell you all the stories of my finest battles across the country!”
> Other

>>44030165
>> “Fine, I won’t bother.”

>>44030165
>> “Seriously, stay! I can tell you all the stories of my finest battles across the country!”

>>44030165
>“Seriously, stay! I can tell you all the stories of my finest battles across the country!”

File: Sheckles, oh the glorious(...).jpg (455 KB, 1162x850)

455 KB JPG

>>44030165
>> “Fine, I won’t bother.”
no need to guilt her into drinking anymore. Also i want to save our well-earned sheckles.

>>44030165
> “Fine, I won’t bother.”
Man, GS thanks for bringing this quest back.

>>44030165
> “Fine, I won’t bother.”
>Try to look sad

We gotta play our strengths. Pity is our only strength. That's sad. I made myself sad.

>>44030165
> “Seriously, stay! I can tell you all the stories of my finest battles across the country!”

>>44030165
>> “Fine, I won’t bother.”
This is brilliant.

>>44030165
>> “Fine, I won’t bother.”

>>44030165
>“Fine, I won’t bother.”

>>44030165

> “Seriously, stay! I can tell you all the stories of my finest battles across the country!”

>>44030165
>“Fine, I won’t bother.”

> “Fine, I won’t bother.”

You shrug. “It’s alright, I don’t mean to be a bother to you, Miss Dunne.”

“Good, good. I can get some sleep then.” She turns around, waving goodbye to you. She immediately slaps the guard who called her out upside the head as she leaves however. Once she’s gone though, you lean back and smile proudly. You’ve done it, you’ve done it!

Muck hops up onto the table, looking at you with his single eye. “Fifty gold pieces! This will sustain us for a month!” You stare at him for a few seconds. “I mean, this will take care of us for a month. We could buy new equipment, new armor, and a horse!”

You frown a little, drumming your hands along the scabbard. “But I like my stuff. It’s served me well these past few years.”

Muck rolls his eye. “Come on. You really don’t want to upgrade.”

You shake your head. “Nah. What works, works. That’s the family motto. And right now, Ohlendorf’s Drift has a new kid in town! And that’s me, Hartmut Harkin Halbschwert!” You grin, pointing your thumb to yourself. “Just you watch, Muck! When we wake up in the morning, people are going to be begging me to seek out fortunes and treasures for them! By the end of the summer, we could have all the gold we want!” You snap your fingers. “That reminds me, we gotta divvie up this gold.” You quickly split it up between you two. “Twenty five for you, twenty five for me.”

Muck tilts his head. “Why do we even divvie up the loot? I don’t even spend it on anything.”

“Because you’re my close companion, and companions always divvie up loot,” you say. “It’s how it was in the stories Papa always told me. You never divvie up loot?”

[1/2]

>>44031237
[2/2]

“I never loot at all. I’m a physical embodiment of magic that doesn’t have any physical want or need for anything,” he says. “Technically speaking, I don’t even need to travel with you to get what I want.”

“Yeah, but the reason you are is because…” You poke him in the eye, and he flinches. “Of that.”

“My sight is fine, stop poking me,” he says. You can’t imagine what God had the sick sense of humor to give a Spellcat only one eye and incredibly terrible depth perception to go with it.

“Anyway,” you say. You chug up the last of the ale, grinning. “You know what this means, right?” He tilts his head, then nods slowly. You look over at someone, who appears to be already writing something down on you paper. “Hey, you there!” He looks over at you, quirking his brow. “A gold piece if you can write something down for me!” He immediately sits next to you, coming up with a blank piece of paper and a pencil. “Alright…”

“A letter to the family?” asks Muck. You nod. “Tell them I said hi.”

Alright, alright, how do you want to do this.

> Embellish, all good adventurers embellish.
> Be honest. It may not sound impressive, but honesty is good you suppose.
> Just write a short hello and goodbye.
> Other

>>44031258
>> Be honest. It may not sound impressive, but honesty is good you suppose.
Keep to the way it is, or nobody will believe you when you pull of something truly ridiculous.

>>44031258
>Embellish, all good adventurers embellish.

>>44031258
>> Just write a short hello and goodbye.

>>44031258
>> Be honest. It may not sound impressive, but honesty is good you suppose.

>>44031258
> Be honest. It may not sound impressive, but honesty is good you suppose.

>>44031258
>Embellish, all good adventurers embellish.

>>44030165
>Fine, I won't bother

>>44031237
>> Be honest. It may not sound impressive, but honesty is good you suppose.

>>44031258
> Be honest. It may not sound impressive, but honesty is good you suppose

>>44031258
>Just write a short hello and goodbye

>>44031258
> Be honest. It may not sound impressive, but honesty is good you suppose.

>>44031258
>Be honest. It may not sound impressive, but honesty is good you suppose.

Schteel are you actually a manlet? Is that why you run manlet quest?

>>44031745
Yes.

>>44031258
>> Be honest. It may not sound impressive, but honesty is good you suppose.

> Be honest. It may not sound impressive, but honesty is good you suppose.

Dear Ma and Pa,

I have sat down recently at a little town called Ohlendorf’s Drift. You may not know the place because it is across the ocean in Therindel in disputed territories and the town is not any official maps due to its low population. However, the town of Ohlendorf’s Drift has welcomed me in rather neutral terms. They regarded our art of wielding the sword as funky and weird. And indeed when I offered my services to the town, I was laughed at. But the Captain of the Guard, a very lovely lady by the name of Dottie Dunne took pity on me and gave me an assignment.

And what an assignment that was, slaying a dragon! Well, it technically wasn’t that big of a dragon, it was more like the size of a bear but I suppose beggars can’t be choosers. I slew it quickly and efficiently like you taught me and your father taught you and so on and so forth. I was paid fifty gold for the task, half of which have went to Muck. Muck says Hi by the way.

I should tell you right now that my adventuring days are coming to the greatest days now. I have finally found a town which may need a person of my particular skillset. And I imagine that one day, I will return to you wreathed in glory and splendor that is required of someone of such a profession. Fear not for my safety for I will return, no matter the squabbles!

By the way, please tell my brother Hargrove not to go into my room. I want it untouched when I return to you all.

Okay, actually you can use my room, you might as well make a little extra money by renting it out. But Hargrove is not to enter.

Okay, Hargrove can use my room, forget it, I’m being petty.

Actually, don’t write this down.

[1/2]

>>44032344
[2/2]

“Stop writing that down!” you say. The writer stops, a little annoyed by you. “Just… uh, finish it.” He nods.


Yours,
Hartmut Harkin Halbschwert

He hands you rolled up letter. You nod, then quickly take a walk outside of the tavern and find a mail dragon, roosting by the tavern window. You whistle to it, and it quickly flies up to you, happily panting. You hold up your letter and a gold piece. It quickly blows its green fire at the letter, absorbing it for transport, then bites down on the gold piece, for payment. It barks, then flies up into the air.

You how mail dragons actually work.

Muck climbs up onto your shoulder as you watch the dragon leave into the night. “Muck.” He looks to you, attentive. “I think this is the beginning of a very beautiful adventure.” The mail dragons screams into the night, soaring away.

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>>44032369
That's it for this weekend. Hope you all enjoyed. Should be back next weekend for more, schedule to be decided by then.

Follow at: https://twitter.com/GermanSchteel
Ask at: http://germanschteel.tumblr.com/

See you next time.

>>44032401
Schteel. Are you a manlet?

>>44032401
Looking forward to it, Schteel.

>>44032424
5'7

>>44032401

Thanks for the run, GS! See you next time!

>>44032456
Confirmed.

>>44032401
Schteel great thread, seems like a fun quest. If you continue running I'll be there friend.

>>44032401
Thanks for running, boss.

By my count, your word count is now at 2,030,000 words, give or take a few thousand to account for rounding. Keep doing what you do best, Schteel.

>>44032516
Thank you anon for keeping track of the word count.

>>44032456
That is like 6in shorter than a regular person

>>44032401
Night Schteel

>>44032857
It's like 3 inches shorter than a regular person.

>>44032904
If you live in asia...

>>44032944
He's 5 foot 7.

Average height in the U.S. Is 5 foot 10

>>44032970
That was a metric conversion issue on my part
I am 6ft 2in in American terms

>>44032970
Yeah, even the protag's 5'5" is pretty average for the equivalent time period, so people in Therindel must be huge.

>>44032401
Bravo sir, I'm greatly pleased by the turnout so far. Something tells me our little Halbschwert is destined for greatness.

>>44032401
Thanks for the fun, boss. Good to be back in Therindel

>>44032456
cool we are the same height