Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>44963319
>>Work on increasing the cave's SPOOKINESS

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>44963319
>>Summon a FAMILIAR
A skelewoman with big tits but SHE HAS NO TITS BECAUSE SKELETON AAAHAHAHA

>>44963319
>>READ Gyrnax's books to try and find out more about the ritual he was performing when you were created.
Magic time.

File: skelly2.jpg (116 KB, 640x747)

116 KB JPG

>Stat Dump

Billy Bones, Awakened Skeleton Sorcerer 1
HP: 40/40
Armor Class: 13 (+1 Dex, +2 Natural)
Damage Reduction 5/Bludgeoning
Str 14
Dex 12
Con --
Int 7
Wis 10
Cha 13 (Cloak of Charisma +2)
Full Attack: Two claws at +3/+3 - 1d4+2/x2, or longsword +3 - 1d8+2/19-20x2

Current Spooky Level: 1 (Phone Rings, But No One Is There)
Current Local Favorability: Small-Scale Folk Hero

>>44963354
>>44963392
>>44963446
>PLEASE VOTE FOR TWO THINGS REEEEEEE

>>44963485
Soryy, I though you would just choose two most popular options.

>>44963485
Okay okay. Tits guy here.

>Work on increasing the cave's SPOOKINESS
With cute anime girls

>>44963319
>READ Gyrnax's books to try and find out more about the ritual he was performing when you were created.
>READ Gyrnax's books to try and learn more about the local area and surrounding townships.

Does he have any more books or is this all of them

>>44963319
READ Gyrnax's books to try and find out more about the ritual he was performing when you were created.
>READ Gyrnax's books to try and learn more about the local area and surrounding townships.
Maybe we can figure out how to create more skeltals

>>44963319
>summon a FAMILIAR
>Work on increasing the cave's SPOOKINESS

summon a pet rat or something they're kinda spooky

>>44963742
Seconded.


Hey Pessimist, how long is our bone?

>>44963319
>>READ Gyrnax's books to try and learn more about the local area and surrounding townships.
>>Summon a FAMILIAR

>Locked
>Increase SPOOKYNESS
>Summon a FAMILIAR

>Sorry, things will be just slightly slow-going until around 7:00 PM because I'm finishing up some work
>>44963817
>L-lewd

>Increase SPOOKYNESS
With the help of goblins Pirk and Nirk, you set about increasing the relative spoop factor of your living arrangements. Utilizing a handful of totems and fetishes they had collected over the years, you outfit the entrance of the cave with some animal skulls and creepy stick sculptures. You position Xylobones in the best possible acoustic space to give his ribcage beats that haunting echoing quality.
>Summon FAMILIAR
Using your growing attunement to magic, you are able to summon forth a skeltal familiar to aid you in your adventures. But what sort of familiar do you desire?
>ARCHIMEDES, a CAT
>GUSTAV, a RAT
>WODAN, a RAVEN
>SHOELACE, a SNAKE

>>44964149
>POE, a RAVEN

Quoth him, NEVERMORE.

>>44964195
seconding

>>44964195
Seconding

>>44964149
>>POE, a RAVEN

>>44964195
Seconded as fuck.

>>44964195
Absolutely.

>>44964149

>SHOELACE, a SNAKE

>>44964195
>>44964209
>>44964219
>>44964223
>>44964225

You perform the necessary incantations and light a candle. You're not sure if the candle is just for show, or what, but within a few hours a raven has perched itself on a deer's skull near the cave entrance. He is mostly whole, although his feathers are patchwork and his head is a fleshless skull.
"My master," the bird caws when it sees you. "I am Poe. We are to work great magics together, you and I."
The bird hops onto your shoulder when you come close enough, ruffling its feathers and making itself comfortable.

>Now we're going to get to the really autistic part, but we need to just get through it and a moment when I'm busy with work is as good a time as any since it's already slow.
>We need to allot you guys some SKILLS so we know more about what you're good at.
>You have 16 skills points, of which no more than 4 can be put into any one skill. Certain skills, which will be marked with an *, are class skills that will give you an extra bonus as long as they receive at least one point.
>I will allow you to allot two points per post until they are all gone. Posts allotting points to skills that already have four points will be disregarded.

Available Skills are as follows:
Acrobatics
Appraise
Bluff*
Climb
Craft* (Specify alchemy, leather, metal, etc.)
Diplomacy
Disable Device
Disguise
Escape Artist
Intimidate
Knowledge* (arcana*, history, nature, local, religion – Knowledge will take time to learn)
Perception
Perform (oratory, musical instrument, interpretive dance, etc.)
Sense Motive
Sleight of Hand
Spellcraft (recognizing spells, learning from scrolls, etc.)
Stealth
Swim

>>44964758
>I encourage you to take your time and pay attention to what others are already posting, to avoid invalidating your post and to avoid four different posters throwing "one point for good measure" and suddenly you guys are expert basket-weavers

>>44964758
Two points into Craft: Bones and bone accessories (like marrow)

>>44964758
Two points to Disguise

>>44964758

bluff and spellcraft

>>44964758
>Spellcraft should be *'d btw

>>44964758
>>44964832
Im not sure if thats a valid craft, but...if it is, we could game it pretty hilariously if so. Two points into Bonecrafting if it is in fact valid, putting it at 4

>>44964907
>>44964832
>Craft (Bone) would allow you to make things out of bones, such as totems, sculptures, or improvised spears, but would not allow you to create bones from nothing

>>44964758
Oh boy, these parts are always rough
>16 points
>4 for each max
Preform 3 - to disguise ourselves as a minstrel or bard we can decide later what instrument, but I would say trumpet.

Acrobatics 3 - Mr Bones the dazzling Skeleton
Spellcraft 4 - We are a sorcerer for a reason
2 points for >>44964832 it fits our theme
Sleight of Hand 3 - we are the rougish type
Knowledge Arcana 1 - useful for us

Opinions?

>>44964758
one to Knowledge: Arcana
one to Knowledge: Bones

>>44964940
Read how it works faggot, two points per post

>>44964977
Its just a suggestion, geez.

>>44964758
Two points into spellcraft, setting us at 3 now

>>44964758
Spellcraft (to four)
Knowledge arcana (to two)
Just asking, is bone knowledge valid?

>>44964758
Sense Motive
Diplomacy

>>44965082
Knowledge (Bone) is not a real thing, but as a skelly you have a thorough understanding of bones without the need for special training

knowledge arcana to 4
>>44964758

>16 points are spoken for, assuming you guys do in fact want to max out Bonecrafting

>>44964758
Sense Motive to 2
Diplomacy to 2

>>44965220
We gots to, for our heritage
I like the current loadout, except i would take one point from bluff to max out knowledge arcana personally

>>44965336
Same, dawg. Seems sound to me.

We need Poe to practice his "double caw-perch on tree branch-lock eyes with a lonely farmer-caw once more-and continue staring until the farmer dares break eye contact" move

>SKILLZ
Craft (Boneworking) 4
Disguise 2
Bluff 1
Spellcraft 4
Knowledge (arcana) 3
Sense Motive 1
Diplomacy 1
(Poe also gives you a +3 bonus to Appraise for being so obsessed with shiny things)

In your study of the Arcane, you delve a bit into Gyrnax's personal library. A lot of it is arcane instructions for various wizardly spells, and your failure to understand the majority of it further distinguishes sorcerers from wizards in your mind. You manage to learn that he was attempting to use magic to draw a powerful spirit into a skeleton, a more powerful entity than the tumbleweeds of negative energy that usually inhabit reanimated corpses.
At last, a week has elapsed since your last visit to Belford. You strap on your swanky cloak, bones polished to a gleaming white, and set out down the road with Poe clinging to your shoulder, occasionally caw-ing ominously.

>Where are you headed?
>Go SPOOK some farmers on the outskirts
>Visit the MAYOR and his daughters
>Visit the TAVERN and sniff around for rumors
>Visit the DOCKS
>Other (Write-in)

Poe can speak common, right?

Insist he makes a bone or beak pun, until he does he's probationary familiar

>>44965511
>Cemetary and local mortuary

>>44965511
Tavern
We need to do some adventuring work.

>>44965565
1+

>>44965511
Tavern

We should try to make the locals more comfortable with us.

No bones about it

>>44965565
Seconding
I wonder if anyone's up to no good around there

>>44965565
Seconded. Let's go to the tavern after and maybe the daughters

>>44965565
I'm not sure what'd be going on in a cemetary, but what the hell, let's see what we can do.

Tavern. We don't need to lose our town privileges so soon.

>Cemetary/Mortuary
Most people that die in Belford die pretty peacefully and are buried on their farms. What few posthumous services are necessary are usually carried out by the local Temple, which does have an attached cemetery. The clerics of Bel, a minor local deity for whom the river is named, have a lazy monopoly on faith in the area, although the population as a whole is not particularly devout and there is little in the way of religion besides a few partially-secular feast days throughout the year.
The guards allow you access to the walled town center, although they watch you warily as you enter, and one of them has to calm down a passing old woman who panics upon seeing you. A few people recognize you on the streets, given that you are somewhat memorable, and a few of those reactions are even favorable, as your second most notable trait is that you saved the mayor's daughters. When you pass by the cemetery, everything seems peaceful and the small plot of land is deserted. You note its location. Perhaps you could return closer to dark when more spooky affairs might be afoot.
You make your way onwards to The Carp's Den, where the dock workers are taking their early afternoon lunches. Garth behind the bar waves you over and offers you a tall glass of milk, which you slosh all over yourself vigorously.
"As good as you remember?" the barkeep asks.
"It does my old bones good," you reply.
The general subject of conversation seems to be an unusually large ship staying in the area. Generally large ships stop at one of the two larger trading posts both up- and downriver, but one has been docked in Belford for almost two days, flying the flag of the central Imperial government, and some people say they've seen the insane wizard Sarnax coming to and from the captain's cabin, muttering to himself about "diversification" and "foreign market saturation."

>Continued

>>44965565
This
>"Gotta see if ol' uncle Joe is still in town"

Also on the tongues of the common people is a local widow whose farm on the outskirts of town has had its basement infested with giant rats. ("Such paltry peckings would be beneath us," Poe caws) Additionally, a traveling merchant who passes regularly through town has been attempting to hire more muscle for protection than normal, citing an increase in bandits on the southern road as the Imperial patrols are redistributed to more frequently-traveled highways.

>What do?
>Go fulfill your low-level scrub rite of passage and KILL GIANT RATS IN A BASEMENT
>Get some distant soil under your bones and trying to sign up with the MERCHANT CARAVAN
>Go to the docks to check out the IMPERIAL SHIP
>Go see the MAYOR and/or his DAUGHTERS
>Other (Write-in)

>>44966428
>Go see the Mayor's daughters

>>44966428
>Go fulfill your low-level scrub rite of passage and KILL GIANT RATS IN A BASEMENT
Rat bones are good to craft with, if they're giant rats.
Oh right, we also have some old bodies laying around!

>>44966428
Could we get the rats under our control with our mind magic? We would be the skeletal ratcatcher. I wish we had a flute so we could bullshit others saying that's what controlls them.

>>44966428
sign up with merchant. then spook him and steal hi stuff

>>44966428
>Go to the docks to check out the IMPERIAL SHIP
By my skull and crossbones.

>>44966428
>Get some distant soil under your bones and trying to sign up with the MERCHANT CARAVAN


Much as I want to rise to the bait and go for the rat basement.

>>44966428
>Go fulfill your low-level scrub rite of passage and KILL GIANT RATS IN A BASEMENT

>>44966428
>>Get some distant soil under your bones and trying to sign up with the MERCHANT CARAVAN
i'm done with this place let's see the world

>>44966428
>Go fulfill your low-level scrub rite of passage and KILL GIANT RATS IN A BASEMENT
We should increase spook level before venturing further

>SKRUB RITE O PASSAGE LADS
Let's spook some rats

>Scrub Rite of passage
It's a rite of passage. Can't ignore it.

>Workday almost finished, bear with me just a little longer

>>44966428
Teach Poe the art of punmaking.

You interrupt a nearby group's conversation, sliding unnervingly into a seat at their table and remaining motionless and silent until their conversation dies down and they begin staring at you.
"So," you say. "About these rats."
It seems Widow Sophie has had a problem with rats the size of dogs crowding her basement. Attempts to run them off by the old woman have failed and people are worried that her home will become unlivable if the rats multiply and move upstairs.
"I don't understand," Poe clucks. "What do they eat? What would make a rat even grow that large?" No satisfactory answers to these questions seem forthcoming.
You learn of the location of the farm, and take your leave of the tavern, noting your intention to right this heinous(ly mundane) wrong. The prospect of fighting half a dozen dog-sized rats alone stresses even your elevated ego.

>Fight the rats yourself
>Go get your goblin minions, and potentially Xylobones
>Attempt to raise a posse of townsfolk

>>44967782
Posse.

>>44967782
>Fight ourselves

>>44967782
I feel like we shouldn't stress the townsfolk with this. If things go south, we'll probably be a lot less welcome in town. Let's
>Go get your goblin minions, and potentially Xylobones
to help us, then send them away and take the credit. It looks a lot more heroic that way.

Get Xylobones. Use music to soothe the beasts, before we smash their skulls.

>>44967782
>Go get Xylobones
We need good background music.

>>44967782
>Attempt to raise a posse of townsfolk
"We gotta stick together, folks. A spine on its own is useless. You need arms! Legs! A skull, if you dare! And some cartilage to stick it all together, technically, but that's irrelevant. What i'm tryin to say here is that we should help each other out when it's needed, because if everyone does that for everyone, there's no problems that couldn't be solved, and the world would be a happier and easier place to live in."

>>44966428
>Go see the MAYOR and/or his DAUGHTERS

I propose we pop in for a chat, let them know we're still on good terms, maybe rustle up a bit of a rapport and perhaps ask that cute redhead what they think an enterprising bag o' bones on his way up in the world should take on as a challenge. Plus it might help us get some info on that ship, though given her dismissal of far away lands maybe not.

>>44967855
Seconded

>>44967782
>>Go get your goblin minions, and potentially Xylobones

We should make them gain exp enough for gaining classes.

>>44967782
>Let's only bring xylobones and we can hoard the xp for just the two of us

>>44968392
Plus we can bolster the name of skellys all around

You get back to the cave as quickly as you can, and it's still early afternoon by the time you, your goblins, and your musical skeleton are on their way to where you were told the Widow resides. You have used to Bonecrafting abilities to reattach the skeleton's severed arm.
"Wait here," you tell them as you approach the home, and you come to the residence alone.
"The, ehhh, Widow Sophie, I presume?"
Widow Sophie shrieks uncontrollably for several seconds before you manage to get the words out to explain your situation. She remains extremely wary until she hears that you are there to take care of her rat problem, and gives you the go-ahead to enter the cellar. You exit the farmhouse and signal your companions to join you at the wooden cellar door. A garden hoe has been shoved into the handles. You remove it and tell Xylobones to arm himself with it. The door opens with an exaggerated creak, sending dust cascading down into the darkened stairs. You and Poe exchange appreciative glances. Very spooky.
You are nearing the bottom of the stairs and you can already hear the scrabbling and squeaking of the rats below. In the low-light, the basement stretches out before you in classy black and white. You can see two of the rats scampering around aimlessly, while four of them are clustered around an old moldy bag of meal. The two close to the door perk up, their eyes glistening in the minimal light. Their noses twitch, probably smelling the goblins.

>What do?
>Combat spells known: Daze, Charm Person, Sleep
>Charm Person will not affect beasts like the rats.
>Roll d20s where applicable

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>44968445
Sleep.

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>44968445
Sleep, bag them then either burn the bag or drown them.

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>44968445
Sleep is easily one of the most broken spells early on.

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>44968445

Time to sleep ratty!

>>44968499
>>44968579
>>44968580
You hold up a single skeletal finger, a hissing "shhhhhhh" passing through your unmoving teeth. The scent of dried rose petals fills the air, and sounds seem to briefly come from further away, or underwater. "Come now," you say to the foremost rat. "Rest those...weary bones."
Four of the rats collapse immediately. Pirk and Nirk race over to the closest rat and begin frantically stabbing it in the head. They are working on the next one as you and Xylobones turn to face the two remaining rats.

>What do? YES, you can technically just use repeated castings of Sleep to cheese low-level encounters, but they gotta fail their Will saves

>>44968724
We should try to tame some of those rats.

>>44968724
Isn't sleep nosave since it goes by hit dice?

Daze, then bash them in the heads.

>You must be a real bonehead to not try to get away!

>>44968767
>It affects up to 4HD, Will negates

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>44968724
Sleep the stab

>>44968724
Daze and conk the dazed one in the head.

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>44968724
More sleeping.
Stuff the rathaul in bags for cavekeeping.

>>44968724
>sleep again and stab

>>44968794
>>44968972
You snap your fingers at one of the remaining rats, and it goes momentarily wobbly, its eyes darting around in confusion. Xylobones shambles towards the rat, cracking it in the skull and getting the blade of the hoe trapped in the rat's brain. The remaining rat screeches and charges towards your minion, biting into him and removing the foot from one of his legs. He stomps around awkwardly on one foot. Behind you, Pirk and Nirk are executing a third rat.
"That was a bonehead move," you admonish the remaining rat.
>>44968978
You attempt to hush the remaining rat to sleep, but it only raises the heckles on its back and chatters at you.

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>44969216
daze then charge

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>44969216
bash a bitch

>>44969216
DID THAT RAT JUST SAY WE HAVE OSTEOPOROSIS?
OH IT'S ON NOW!
bash his 'ead in.

File: SKETAAAAAL.gif (939 KB, 500x281)

939 KB GIF

>>44969413
The rat drops the skeletal foot in its mouth, frothing and coughing as it jerks around in a panic. By now, the goblins have finished murdering the sleeping rats, and the four of you charge the dazed rat and stomp the everloving shit out of it.
Several minutes later, the four of you emerge from the cellar into the evening light. In slow-motion, you put the hood of your cloak up. Xylobones high-fives you, as you had instructed before climbing up the stairs.
"Looks like you're pretty..." Poe says. He stops and stares you.
The two of you let the tension build. There's a twinkle in your familiar's eye.
"...bad to the bone."

>Continued

>>44969519
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
I've been waiting for that pun.

>>44969519
You leave your minions momentarily to inform Widow Sophie of the good news. She swoons a swoon she hadn't had occasion to swoon in over thirty years. You catch her politely and set her on her couch. When you are sure she is alright, you take your leave and send the minions back to the cave.

>GO WITH your minions. It's getting a bit late...
>GO TO TOWN and tell everyone of your deeds. Surely no one would object to that?
>SNEAK INTO TOWN after dark to more closely inspect that cemetery
>Other (Write-In)

>>44969623
>SNEAK INTO TOWN after dark to more closely inspect that cemetery

>>44969623
>SNEAK INTO TOWN after dark to more closely inspect that cemetery
Maybe while going there we see some sailors we can spoop.

>>44969623
>>SNEAK INTO TOWN after dark to more closely inspect that cemetery

>>44969623
SNEAK INTO TOWN after dark to more closely inspect that cemetery

Xylobones deserves a break, but for the intrepid skeltal sorcerer this is naught but the start of the SPOOKING HOUR

>>44969623
>>>WALK INTO TOWN in broad daylight to more closely inspect that cemetery

>>44969701
later on everytime we reanimate more skellies Xylobones needs to play https://youtu.be/HzdQJTpUubo and get the newly reanimated skellies do the vocals.

Every time there is a new skelie they must do the Skeleton Dance

>>44969835
I always liked http://www.weebls-stuff.com/other-toons/video/spooky-scary-skeletons.html ,but that'd be pretty hard to emulate without avanced magic.

>>44969643
>>44969676
>>44969700
>>44969701
It's dark by the time you make your way back to the Belfast town center. Only a single guard is posted on each gate, and it is child's play to slip past one of them unnoticed by having Poe fake an opportune noise in the wrong direction. Once inside, you have the place more or less to yourself, although a crowd is still going strong at the tavern. You skirt the activity and swiftly locate the cemetery. Slipping over the iron fence, you stalk among the tombstones, reveling in the spoopyness of it. While reading the tombstone of Dalton Garvey (Gnawed by Gnolls until he had Egnough), you hear some clattering and lowered voices. Creeping over on the tips of your toe-bones, you can see where a faint lantern-light shines from a freshly-dug grave. Daring to peek over the edge, you silently observe two figures dressed all in black. They seem to be trying to use the grave as the start of a tunnel into the adjacent Temple.

>What do?
>Write-In

>>44970276
>Spy on them

>>44970276
>"So... do you guys come here often or is this a one time thing?"

>>44970276
>Have Poe add to the spoopy ambiance
>Spy

>>44970276
Sense motive

>scrub here not sure if I'm rolling correctly

>>44970276
>Write-In
Have Poe spy on them. If they notice Poe have it stare at them until they look away then fly barely over them while creaking nevermore!

>>44970407
Fucking kill me please

>>44970448
read the sticky

>>44970407
We were all scrubs once. Bone up on your forum knowledge, and you too can stop being a bonehead and git gud.

>>44970407
Seconding this dude, otherwise why the fuck do we even HAVE these spells?

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>44970407
Agree with scrub.

>>44970407
>>44970555
>>44970626
sense motive is a skill used to determine if someone is lying or witholding information not "Read Mind"

>>44970276
Pick a bone with them

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>44970276
Scare them.
To death.

>>44970276
>spy on them
if found, go down with as many puns as we can use

>>44970709
http://www.d20srd.org/srd/skills/senseMotive.htm
Effectively acts as an anti-bluff check.

I for one second
>>44970391
You'd figure that an animated skeleton would make an incredible spy. You don't breathe, or make involuntary muscle movements, and are far, far lighter on your feet, not being burdened by all those organs.

Charm person on standby

Course we're friends, look how much we've got in common! I've got phalanges, you've got phalanges...

>>44970626
They are not conversing with each other beyond an occasional "on your left" or other short murmur. You can't get a bead on what exactly they're trying to accomplish in here. Maybe the temple has valuables? You've never been inside of a temple that you can recall.
You retreat slightly, but send Poe ahead. The raven flies to the closest tombstone to the grave, staring down into it, clacking his beak. Eventually one of the diggers looks up and sees the tiny red pinpoints of light from the bird's eyes. The two of them stare at one another until finally the grave-digger looks away, at which point the raven swoops low over the maw of the grave, croaking "Nevermore!" as he goes. You take this opportunity to swagger into view.
"So...do you guys come here often or is this a one-time thing?" you say.
>SPOOP SUCCESS +100 SPOOKY POINTS
The two men cower in abject terror as you stand over them. A distant flash of lightning illuminates you.
"Wait!" One of them says. "This is him! This is the guy! I told you!"
"There's an actual skeleton living in Gyrnax's cave?" the other says, addressing you directly.
"Wherever he lives," the first man says, "this can still work. Hi, sir," he says up to you, his voice trembling somewhat. "So I'm sure a man, or whatever, of your intellect can be moved by reason. We're pilgrims, you see, and the bones of one of our ancestor saints have been locked up in the basement of this Temple! The servants of Bel locked it up in their vaults, but only after stealing it from our shrine a few towns over. If you help us get it,"
"Or even just keep your mouth shut..."
"...we'll see to it that you're rewarded, although our coffers are a bit light of late, what with so few people still worshipping ancestor saints."

>What do?
>You could HELP THEM
>Or CHARM THEM
>Or PUT THEM TO SLEEP AND/OR BURY THEM ALIVE
>Or SOMETHING ELSE, perhaps?

>>44971074
I don't trust them.

CHARM

>>44971074
Free trapped skeltal

>>44971074
Ask for proof.

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>44971074
>CHARM them. We will retreive those bones and we'll make them into a new living skeleton for our army

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>44971132
>>44971074
I'll back this. CHARM them, and ask them if that's all they're looking for, what they want to do with it, stuff like that. If they were telling the truth, great! If not, we have a bone with that.

Also, rolling for sense motive.

>>44971074
>CHARM THEM
Maybe we could get a reward for bringing these two to the temple?
when they ask what we were doing there we must of course answer: I got a feeling in my bones.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

Agreeing with charm

Then we can bonecraft on any stray skellingtons and make them our undead allies.

File: Spoiler Image (271 KB, 460x1840)

271 KB JPG

>>44971348
Good bones and calcium to you anon

File: image.jpg (46 KB, 549x471)

46 KB JPG

>When you see where human milk comes from

You draw back your hood, plopping into a seated position on the edge of the grave. Poe flaps by, squawking "Hope has flown away!"
"Come on, now, friend," you say, crooking a finger and twisting it upwards, as though you were to drag it along someone's chin. "What are you really doing out here?"
"We're stealing the saint's bones so we can sell them to totem sellers in the capital!" he says cheerfully.
"What the fuck?!" the other man says, smacking his friend with a shovel.
"Easy, easy," you say, making the same gesture to the other man. "No need to go breaking any bones."
"It's just, that's not what I'M doing here!" he says indignantly. "I only convinced him of that so he would come with me. I was going to betray him and steal the bones to sell for myself."
"Haha! Actually, if I can be totally honest here, the thought had crossed my mind as well. Hey, if you help us we'll give you a cut of the sale!" the first one says. "We won't even betray you!"

>What do?

>ask them to follow us please. lead them to mayor and have him call the guards.

>>44971700
"Of course, I could just tell some priests and guards about you two. I'm sure they'd have a BONE to pick with you."

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>44971700
NOW I'm casting sense motive

>also, what alignment are we going for here?

>>44971700
vote we betray them and take the saint's bones. Sounds useful.

>>44971700
Have poe contact the nearest guards and get them to come.
Then, tie the two up with a riddle and say you'll help them if they solve the riddle. Make the riddle nonsensical and unsolvable though.

>>44971700
God damn it these guys...
How about you guys take a break. the night's young and you look tired.
cast Sleep and drag them to the temple.
>>44971778
they're under a Charm Person spell so they have no reason to lie and you can't cast a skill.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

We should have these Boneheads turn themselves in to the town and have them tell the town what they were trying to do.

Rolled 1 (1d20)

Cast sleep, throw them into the grave, grab the nearest guard

>>44971822
Over and under, through and through, what kind if sound dies a trumpet do?

Doot doot.

>>44971911
Maybe we can send them to the mayor. Tell them he's a connected man, by virtue of being mayor, and might be able to leverage a better deal for the bones. We're all friends here, right?

>>44971911
>>44972049
this is a smart, and slightly punny, way to handle this situation and get better street cred with the town

I doubt they have such a low will they couldn't save from that.

>>44972079
I'm sure they'll see the mayor is a real charming fellow in his own way. They have a good feeling in our bones about it.

>>44972019
>as you try to cast sleep on the fiends, you accidentally cast it on yourself. The fiends take your bones along to sell too.

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>>44971700
Its time to score brownie points with the town.

Tell them that this will be a splendid partnership thats almost too good not too celebrate. Convince them we have this mad tight guard friend (Whos totally not a nark) who has some top quality alcohol stashed in the barracks.
The night is long so lets celebrate before we do the heavy lifting.

Goodnight thread

>>44971778
>They really seem like they're telling the truth.
>>44972119
>a 3 and a 6, not that that's any of YOUR business, doubting Thomas
"Well boys this sounds like a premium arrangement. I've been looking into moving some contraband through the ol' cave as well, I've been putting out feelers in town. In fact, I've got a guard already on the take, and he's on duty tonight. Let's see if we can find him, and he can help us dig."
The two men like the sound of help with the digging, and you boost them up out of the grave. The three of you set out in the general direction of the mayor's residence. It isn't long before a guard approaches, Poe flying low fast circles around him and leading him onward.
"This is the guy," you murmur, nudging the men forward. They nod slyly, knowingly. What a stroke of luck this has been for them.
"So Bones here says you're a good inside man," the smaller of the two men says. "Help us dig into the temple, and we'll cut you in on some contraband we'll be moving out of town."
The guard looks from the two men to you, dumbfounded. You imagine, wistfully, being able to wink cunningly at this guard. You feel the briefest pang of envy for fleshbags.
"Um..." the guard says, crafty enough not to blow his shit but unsure of exactly what to say.

>Continued

>>44972439
>inb4 he goes along with it

Fortunately, after only a few seconds, you can hear Poe cawing as he approaches with another guard following him. The two thieves begin to look very nervous.
"Don't worry," you hastily assure them. "This is, uh...my other guy."
"No way, Bones!" one thief says, pointing to the guard. "This guy's ratted you out man! That's Weylan Voight's kid, he's a goody-goody, there's no way he'd do anything crooked. We gotta-"
But you cut them off, moving to surround the two men between the three of you. The men look at you, hurt. The spell breaks, and they become seethingly angry.
"Don't do anything stupid," the newly-arrived guard says. He seems uncomfortable by the fact that you are one of his allies.
"You're that guy, right?" he asks warily. "The one who's a skeleton?"
You stare at him disbelievingly. "In the flesh."
"Mayor said you're not supposed to be in town after dark," the man said. "Let's all take a little walk to the guardhouse, shall we?"

>GO PEACEFULLY to the guardhouse.
>Ask to be taken to the TEMPLE to explain the situation to the clerics.
>Ask to be taken to the MAYOR to explain the situation to him.
>Other?

>>44972439
Tell the guard to run off and grab whatever he needs to help. We can head back to the graveyard and wait, unless he some a better idea of where we can wait.

Maybe near the tavern? All the noise could help us make further arrangements without people taking any real notice.

It'd also let the guard bring more people without the two men hearing a small contingent of guards bearing down on us.

I'd love to hear his input.

>>44972748
>Ask to be taken to the TEMPLE to explain the situation to the clerics.

>>44972748
>>GO PEACEFULLY to the guardhouse.

>>44972748
>Ask to be taken to the TEMPLE to explain the situation to the clerics.
might be good to get in the good graces of more people than just the mayor

>>44972748
TEMPLE
E
M
P
L
E

>>44972748
>GO PEACEFULLY to the guardhouse.
Sure. we've got nothing to hide.

>>44972748
> You stare at him disbelievingly. "In the flesh."
I keked

Take me yon saint-skeleton holder, fine guard-meat. (To the temple)

>>44972748
>Ask to be taken to the TEMPLE to explain the situation to the clerics.
We need to spread out our roots in this town if our true nature is to blo-

Shit, wrong puns. Sorry.

>>44972748
>Ask to be taken to the TEMPLE to explain the situation to the clerics.
After all, they should be the ones to press charges.

On the way to wherever, suggest that one of them eat more, because they're all SKIN AND BONES,

Temple. We need moar friends.

>>44972748
>GO PEACEFULLY to the guardhouse.
We didn't do anything wrong aside from being in town a little later than usual. We caught grave robbers, I'm sure they'll understand.
Plus, skellybone on temple grounds sounds like pain.

You entreat the guards to deliver you to the priests so that they could know about what happened. You wait while the younger guard whistles for the other active guards. Three guard escort the thieves away, while the younger guard walks with you back towards the Temple.
"I'm Dane," he says to you, the only two words he awkwardly says the whole way to the Temple. When you arrive, he knocks on the door, drawing the attention of what you assume is the head cleric, a woman in her late thirties with a gentle face but hard, stony eyes under her short-cropped hair. The guard explains what he's seen, and you explain that you caught the men and tricked them.
"I don't understand," she says. "What were you doing in the cemetery to begin with?"

Actually, if we go to the guardhouse, can we be bros with the guards instead? They might appreciate our punnery more than the temple clerics.

And, y'know, not freak over our nature as an unholy abomination as much. It's the little things like that.

>>44973104
>>I saw some movement and decided I would be a bonehead not to check it out

>>44973104
We're a skeleton. Cemeteries are a natural habitat. Why wouldn't we like them for relaxing and shit?

Not like we need to sleep or anything.

>>44973104
I had a feeling in my bones.

>>44973104
"Is that a joke? There's tons of skeletons down there, it's a happening joint for folks like me. Well, it would be, if they weren't so stiff. Really, though, Poe told me he saw something suspicious. And poe is just a bird, so he's fine to be here."

>Locked

>>44973104
"Why WOULDN'T I be in a cemetery? I clearly belong there more than I belong here."

>>44973104
>"I don't understand," she says. "What were you doing in the cemetery to begin with?"

>"I HAD A FEELING IN...MY BONES!"

>>44973104
"What sort of bonehead would think that a skeleton doesn't have any business in a cemetery?"

>>44973104
Well you see two humans walked into the cemetery and someone had to tell them visitation hours were over.

>>44973104
> Well, you see, I had a tickling in my humerus that a bit of funny business was going on as I was out on my midnight stroll. My crow - Poe, you've met him, yes? He's a bone-ified darling - saw these two fellows digging in a grave, and I said, 'Whoa, my friend Boney Bob lives there!' And encroachment upon property is a grave offense in skeleton culture, so I went over and had a talk with these gentlemen, and wouldn't you know it, they were trying to steal these beloved divine femurs and other assorted pieces you have in this place to sell to the highest bidder.
They'd probably stop us before we finished, but whatever.

>>44973429
holy shit that's amazing

>>44963319
Aw shit yeah it's skellyquest.
Am I late? Did I miss it?

>>44973429
You have a fucking gift anon

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>>44973429
Oh my.

>>44973429
beautiful

>>44973429
What this guy said

>>44973429
This thing

>>44973429
>All of this. I deleted a bunch of other crap I wrote in favor of this.

"While I appreciate what you've done here," the cleric says. "I'd ask that in the future you please come to the cemetery only in the day time." She looks you up and down, cocking an eyebrow. "You're...probably going to freak some people out."
"Guard, you may of course do with the other criminals what you wish. But..." she looks away, shaking her head to herself. "But I believe him, for what reason I do not know."
The guard salutes the cleric sharply, hesitates for a moment to look at you, then walks crisply away. As soon as he is out of earshot, the cleric steps close to you, her faces inches from yours. Her breath fogs upwards through your skull.
"There is a dark power in you," she says. "But...I do not sense that you are evil. Still," her eyes dart searchingly across your face. "All your jokes and japes are covering something. Not sinister...something...ominous? No...spectral...sp...sp...sprightly? Hmph," She shakes the train of thought out of her head and refocuses on you. "You should come here. In the daylight. A good affiliation with the sacred might save you from yourself."

>QUEST COMPLETED
>+500 SPOOKY POINTS
>IT'S SPOOKY
>THE WORD SHE WAS LOOKING FOR WAS SPOOKY

>>44973429
>+100 for this post, actually, that was quite something

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>>44973735

>>44973735
Hey, Next time you run please post a link in your twitter so we know.

I think we need a skeleton, maybe Xylobones, always with us so that whenever we make a pun, they'll always 'ba dum tiss' afterwards. Maybe just when we do a good pun.

>>44973927
I say we bone craft xylobones into xylo-mount or xylo-wheels.

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>With this and the SP from the Dire Rats you guys are actually quite close to leveling up, but I'm going to have to call it for this evening. I will most likely run again next Wednesday or Thursday.
Twitter: @ChronPaul
>Thread is archived on suptg
>As always, criticisms, commentary, and questions are welcome.

"He fears that toward him pointeth there,
A fleshless human hand;
Where the mountain rains have swept away,
Its covering of sand;"
-Edgar Allen Poe, "The Skeleton Hand"

>>44973982
Please read>>44973839

>>44974001
Roger Roger!

>>44973982
Dude you are the fucking bomb. Never stop. I mean, if you stop doing Skeleton Quest do another thing sometime.

>>44973982
Q. What feats we taking?

Also shouldn't we have gotten a feat at first level?

>>44978922
Because, as a Solo Sorc, I'd imagine Combat Casting would help.

Dis quest is out of the flesh!

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