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>>45242063
Oh shit.

Oh SHIT, Neptune isn't in your head right now.

She's in your body, she's in YOUR body and she's UNSUPERVISED and Mojang doesn't know and oh nooooOOOOO-

"All of it. Get us all of the alcohol."

....

Sometime later, you're sitting in a chair, clutching a barrel of alcohol like your life depends on it. It probably does. Blanc, meanwhile, is sitting on the edge of her bed, looking deceptively serene; there's only the slight furrowing of her brow. You know the goddess well enough to realize that that's pretty damn emotive of her when she's untransformed and not spitting hellfire.

"So. You're okay now?" Blanc asks warily, staring at you like she's not sure what to make of you. Can't say you blame her, under the circumstances; you know you'd be pretty freaked out to see a completely different mind peeking out of an otherwise familiar face.

But, yeah. You're not okay. You're extremely not okay. She has to help you.

The shorter girl (oh Armok, she's /shorter/ than you, what the hell) massages her temples, looking exhausted. "Urist, I don't even know how you /got/ here," she grumbles. "This should be impossible."

Oh, you WISH this was impossible.

(Cont.)

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>>45242111
"No, I'm serious. By all rights, Neptune should still be comatose. You can't just up and possess a goddess's body."

Your mind's wandering a little, skittering as you try to focus on everything at hand. It's not easy; you're a bundle of nerves right now, and you're latching onto the strangest details, and-

A sense of unease settles over you. Something feels /off/, but in your current state, you don't know if it's just you not being accustomed to this, or if it's something in your room, or if Neptune had some weird Goddess Sense that's trying to ping you.

[ ] [STAY SILENT] and try to get a closer look at everything- Blanc, the room you're in, and your erstwhile host body.
[ ] [INTROSPECTION] Peer inside yourself, and try to get a sense of Neptune's powers. Why are you (or, y'know, she) transformed?
[ ] [EXPLAIN] Right, you guys need to swap info. Blanc doesn't know a thing about what's going on up in the hyperdimensional void, and you don't know... a thing about what's happening /here/.
[ ] [DRINK] all the alcohol. By Armok, you need it. Screw everything else, you need a good drink- you DESERVE a good drink to get you through this shit.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>45242157
This dimension is certainly very hyper.
>[x] [STAY SILENT] and try to get a closer look at everything- Blanc, the room you're in, and your erstwhile host body.

>>45242157
>[ ] [INTROSPECTION] Peer inside yourself, and try to get a sense of Neptune's powers. Why are you (or, y'know, she) transformed?
>[ ] [EXPLAIN] Right, you guys need to swap info. Blanc doesn't know a thing about what's going on up in the hyperdimensional void, and you don't know... a thing about what's happening /here/.

Leaning toward introspection but let's relay what we can.

>>45242157
>[ ] [EXPLAIN] Right, you guys need to swap info. Blanc doesn't know a thing about what's going on up in the hyperdimensional void, and you don't know... a thing about what's happening /here/.
>[ ] [DRINK] all the alcohol. By Armok, you need it. Screw everything else, you need a good drink- you DESERVE a good drink to get you through this shit.
Bwuh?
I feel like I missed something.

Great to have you back Blorp, we missed you.

>>45242157
>[ ] [INTROSPECTION] Peer inside yourself, and try to get a sense of Neptune's powers. Why are you (or, y'know, she) transformed?
>[ ] [EXPLAIN] Right, you guys need to swap info. Blanc doesn't know a thing about what's going on up in the hyperdimensional void, and you don't know... a thing about what's happening /here/.
You now realize Neptune's liver has nowhere near the resistance to alcohol Urist's has.

>>45242157
>[X] [DRINK] all the alcohol. By Armok, you need it. Screw everything else, you need a good drink- you DESERVE a good drink to get you through this shit.
It's vitally important we stay just drunk enough the full realization of our plight doesn't send us spiraling into despair.
>[X] [EXPLAIN] Right, you guys need to swap info. Blanc doesn't know a thing about what's going on up in the hyperdimensional void, and you don't know... a thing about what's happening /here/.
Okay, try and keep up a few sentences of information flowing. It's important you get them to know what's going on in the void, and subconsciously learn things to reflect on later.
>[X] [INTROSPECTION] Peer inside yourself, and try to get a sense of Neptune's powers. Why are you (or, y'know, she) transformed?
All the while, keep the majority of your mind turned inwards, trying to figure out what's wrong with Neptune so you can find a way to fix it, bringing her mind back here, to hopefully slingshot your mind back towards your own body in turn, de-Neptune-izing you fully as you go back to yourself.

Your subconscious can file away information from Blanc and give her info without you to pick up later, and Neptune's liver shouldn't take much to free your from the soul-crushing despair of FUN!

>>45242157
>[ ] [INTROSPECTION] Peer inside yourself, and try to get a sense of Neptune's powers. Why are you (or, y'know, she) transformed?
>[ ] [EXPLAIN] Right, you guys need to swap info. Blanc doesn't know a thing about what's going on up in the hyperdimensional void, and you don't know... a thing about what's happening /here/.
>[ ] [DRINK] all the alcohol. By Armok, you need it. Screw everything else, you need a good drink- you DESERVE a good drink to get you through this shit.
>[ ] [NO PUDDING] Try not to think about pudding
>[ ] [PUDDING] Think about pudding

>>45242157
>[x] [EXPLAIN] Right, you guys need to swap info. Blanc doesn't know a thing about what's going on up in the hyperdimensional void, and you don't know... a thing about what's happening /here/.

Yeah, let's take the opportunity to swap notes.

And Blorp? I'm incredibly glad to see you back.

I'm for drinking, but I hope we do it after the other important things, because likely shenanigans.

>>45242157
>[ ] [INTROSPECTION] Peer inside yourself, and try to get a sense of Neptune's powers. Why are you (or, y'know, she) transformed?

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>>45242268
>>45242406
Thanks, glad to be back!

Looks like [X] [EXPLAIN] more or less gets the vote, so- writing!

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>>45242157
>[ ] [DRINK] all the alcohol. By Armok, you need it. Screw everything else, you need a good drink- you DESERVE a good drink to get you through this shit.
>[ ] [WRITE-IN]
PUDDING!

Yay! Blorp is Back! Does that mean it's time for Hyperdimension Segata Sanshiro Quest?

>>45242532
Hey
Hey blorp
You /V-II/?

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>>45242532
Oh, before I forget.

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>>45242535
>that feel when you could never do Hyperdimension Segata Sanshiro Quest justice

>>45242588
Man, I don't even have a PS4!

Although that new Idolm@ster game IS coming out for that system, too...

>>45242653
... YES

>>45242157
>[CLONE] You think maybe this is actually the body of one of the Arfoire clones? Is there even a way to check?
>[EXPLAIN] tell Blanc what's happening with Mojang and your body

>>45242702
>He isn't already l@dy for Im@s: STAR PLATINUM edition
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isKSYKgl9JQ
Maybe this will help

>>45242653
this isn't actually stated, right? So I can brainstorm one like I did for the pajamas?

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>>45242702
>>that feel when you could never do Hyperdimension Segata Sanshiro Quest justice
Don't feel bad man. Segata lies in that annoying place where it's super awesome to imagine his adventures and play Sega Saturn, but is impossible to translate the feel into a system based text game.

But he'll always been in our hearts.

>>45242653
>>45242777
Take your pick

>Call of Beer.
After being thrown, the shield returns straight to your arm is a solid grip as soon as you take a swig of alcohol

>Aura of Fermentation.
Hastens distilleries to produce more alcohol at a lower risk of contamination, and fermentable but currently still alive plants exude just a slight tint of pleasant alcohol when you are near.

>Froth Armor.
Enemies that strike the shield are either blinded by froth or experience a slowing effect.

>>45242777
Well, it is from a painting (which was made in to a wallpaper) from Baldur's Gate 2, and, as far as I remember, it is probably just a normal small shield.
So I think you can think up a bonus made by it. (Maybe increased Liver fortitude?)

>>45242157
>[x] [EXPLAIN] Right, you guys need to swap info. Blanc doesn't know a thing about what's going on up in the hyperdimensional void, and you don't know... a thing about what's happening /here/

We are back, baby!

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>>45242157
>[X] [INTROSPECTIVELY EXPLAIN WHILE DRINKING]

What? Something feels wrong? Well, screw /that/, you're way too keyed up to focus on the finer details. Besides, it's nighttime in Gamindustri, the lights in Blanc's bedroom are very dim, and for some reason, all the colors look muddy and mixed together. Probably some weird side effect of swapping bodies or whatever, so you put it out of your mind and focus what little brainpower you have left on not immediately falling to pieces right then and there.

You take a swig of alcohol, feeling it burn all the way down. Right. So why CAN'T you just up and possess a goddess's body?

... Blanc shoots you a weary side-eyed glance, like you just asked the stupidest question in the world and she WANTS to tell you as much, but doesn't have the heart to break the news to you. "Because we /are/ goddesses," she explains patiently. "Our minds are wired differently, connected to our nations and our goddess powers. Your consciousness should have suffered terminal sensory overload before being shunted back to your own body."

Oh shit, really!? You hurl your senses straight into the center of your new body's core, tapping into the goddessly powers of the goddessly representative of all things Sega, and it's just... some weird purpley glowy stuff that doesn't hit you nearly as hard as it did when you and Neptune were sharing your one tiny dwarven body.

"... I said SHOULD have." The pint-sized goddess rests her elbows on her legs and props her chin on her hands. "If it was going to happen, it should've happened minutes ago. I dunno how, but you adjusted to that shit immediately."

Tsk. Way to get your hopes up. You take another sip to smother up your disappointment. You'd LOVE to get shunted back into your own body, that'd just about solve most of your current problems.

(Cont.)

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>>45242777
How about being immun towards the negative effects of alcohol?
Urist hears about that fabeled shield after experiencing the first negative effects of alcohol, which came with one of the DF Updates?

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>>45243933
"You wouldn't enjoy it," Blanc deadpans cryptically. "Hell, I don't even know why your consciousness ended up in this idiot's body in the first place. You're not one of Planeptune's adventurers, and you don't have any connection with her-"

Oh, that? Yeah, well. You shift in place, trying and failing to ignore how this outfit bares skin in all the wrong places. Neptune's been bunking inside your head for the past few days.

"- and there's that connection. Explains how your brain hasn't popped, too." She heaves another sigh, closing her eyes. "Tell me everything."

It doesn't take too long; honestly, there's not much to tell. You ended up in the hyperdimensional void because of reasons, you and your friends (and/or allies of convenience) are trying to survive in a realm that makes even less sense than Gamindustri, and Arfoire's apparently dicking around up there like she's got some stupid plan. And Neptune said something about getting horribly glitched by one of Arfoire's lackeys...?

"Mm. She got off lucky. Whatever they did to her, it only put her in some sort of coma." Blanc shrugs noncommittally. "If someone could get close enough to syringe this idiot to glitchiness, she wasn't safe in Planeptune. Her friends are out looking for answers, so they dropped her body off here for safekeeping."

... well, you ARE wearing the face of someone she's known for ages, so Blanc picks up on your unspoken skepticism pretty easily. "She's my rival, but I don't want her /dead/. Not anymore," she adds testily, some of that old fire coming to the fore. "Besides, Vert's tied up, and Noire isn't answering her damn calls, so I'm the only one available."

(Cont.)

>>45243933
>I dunno how, but you adjusted to that shit immediately."

Our game involves managing an entire fucking worlds history and life, your countries ain't got shit Blanc

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>>45243980
You take another sip, contemplating this unwelcome news. Tied up?

Blanc doesn't even bother dressing up the truth, and punches straight to the heart of the matter. "Most of her adventurers are MIA, probably sucked into the same interdimensional void that took you and Shovel," she growls, narrowing her eyes. "And she's still cleaning up after all the shit Arfoire did to her Basilicom. She's falling to pieces."

And Noire-

"Not answering her calls, or her email, or her blog, or whatever," Blanc snaps, raw frustration seeping through her calm facade. "And I can't fly over there to beat some goddamn sense into her. Not in this state."

She presses on before you can piece that apart, leaning closer and staring right through you with burning red eyes. "Look, you have to find some way to get back to your own body. I don't even want to think about what will happen if you're running around in the body of a Gamindustri goddess, or how it'll affect Planeptune or whatever. Right?"

Something nags at the back of your mind, even stronger now. You can't place it, though, because you're too busy being absolutely terrified of what Neptune could be doing in your body /right now/.

... but surprisingly enough, you can't help but feel that you need to see those friends you left behind in Gamindustri.

>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:
[ ] [AGREE] You want to get back to your own body, and getting Blanc's help is the best way to do so. Besides, you're worried about Neptune and your own body.
[ ] [HOLD ON] Expand your senses. There's something strange going on right here in front of you, and you need to pin it down before doing anything else.
[ ] [DISAGREE] You need to take this chance to deal with business in Gamindustri. Not just Vert and/or Noire, but your friends, Estelle and Rokko- are they safe?
[ ] [WRITE IN]

>>45244013
[ ] [AGREE] You want to get back to your own body, and getting Blanc's help is the best way to do so. Besides, you're worried about Neptune and your own body.

>>45244013
>[ ] [HOLD ON]

>>45243980
[x] [HOLD ON] Expand your senses. There's something strange going on right here in front of you, and you need to pin it down before doing anything else.
[x] [DISAGREE] You need to take this chance to deal with business in Gamindustri. Not just Vert and/or Noire, but your friends, Estelle and Rokko- are they safe?

>"If someone could get close enough to syringe this idiot to glitchiness, she wasn't safe in Planeptune. Her friends are out looking for answers, so they dropped her body off here for safekeeping."
Okay, What the fuck has been going on since the RROD triggered?

>>45244013
>[ ] [HOLD ON] Expand your senses. There's something strange going on right here in front of you, and you need to pin it down before doing anything else.
Might be a clue.

If nothing else we should leave a note/letter to Rokko and Nee-chan with Blanc to deliver.

>>45244013
>[X] [DISAGREE] You need to take this chance to deal with business in Gamindustri. Not just Vert and/or Noire, but your friends, Estelle and Rokko- are they safe?

>>45244013
>[ ] [HOLD ON] Expand your senses. There's something strange going on right here in front of you, and you need to pin it down before doing anything else.
>[ADVENTURERS] How're Estelle and Rokko, hell, do we have a list of adventurers who have disappeared, so I know how many to look for?

>>45244013
>[ ] [HOLD ON] Expand your senses. There's something strange going on right here in front of you, and you need to pin it down before doing anything else.

Situational awareness. Don't want to being stuck in some kind of "Lotus Eater machine World".

>[ ] [WRITE IN] Maybe Blanc could sent someone to just look at how Noire is doing.

For all she knows, Noire could have been attacked like Neptune and being hit worse. Or not as bad, but does not take the time to fix the damage which was done to herself and is slowly making it worse. Her perfectionism will be her death in that case.

>>45244013
>[x] [HOLD ON] Expand your senses. There's something strange going on right here in front of you, and you need to pin it down before doing anything else.
Seems important

>>45243937
I'm pretty sure she's experiencing those effects in Neptune's body right now.

>>45244013
>[ ] [HOLD ON] Expand your senses. There's something strange going on right here in front of you, and you need to pin it down before doing anything else.
>[ ] [DISAGREE] You need to take this chance to deal with business in Gamindustri. Not just Vert and/or Noire, but your friends, Estelle and Rokko- are they safe?
Plus we can give them a heads up about what's happening on the other side. I'm sure our best friend unofficial waifu Rokko and big sisters Estelle and Vert would really, really would like to hear from us. Even if it is in Neptune's body.

I also just realized. Apparently, us being in her body has seemingly increased her alcohol tolerance. Wonder if that will be a permanent thing after we get back to ours.

>>45244013
>[X] [HOLD ON] Expand your senses. There's something strange going on right here in front of you, and you need to pin it down before doing anything else.
There's too much body-confusion bullshit going on.

Is Blanc real? Is this Neptune body real? Is anything besides booze real? Or is this all a simulation inside a simulation inside a simulation of Arfoire's doing to get the secret of Dwarf matters?

>>45244013
[ ] [HOLD ON] Expand your senses. There's something strange going on right here in front of you, and you need to pin it down before doing anything else.

>>45244198
Even if she does, depending on how long she is stuck in Neppermints body, she will need it moreso than in her more "acclimated" normal dwarf body.

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I want to ruin Blanc for marriage!

>>45244271
That was my point, Neptune's body probably has less tolerance even with us controlling it.

>>45244013
>[x] [HOLD ON] Expand your senses. There's something strange going on right here in front of you, and you need to pin it down before doing anything else.
>[x] [DISAGREE] You need to take this chance to deal with business in Gamindustri. Not just Vert and/or Noire, but your friends, Estelle and Rokko- are they safe?

>>45244013
>[x] [HOLD ON] Expand your senses. There's something strange going on right here in front of you, and you need to pin it down before doing anything else.

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>>45244320
I want to go drinking with Vert.

>>45244320
>>45244461
I want to know what happened to moru

>>45244367
So after being drunk you not only have massive headaches and find everything annoying, but your eyesight is impaired..... no wonder the germans have the same name for this and the male cat.

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>>45244258
>[X] [HOLD ON]

... there's something off, here.

Okay, sure, so goddamn near EVERYTHING feels off: you're sitting in a chair and your feet can easily (easily!) touch the ground, this damn battle bikini feels like nothing at all, and then there's that shitty thing going on with your eyes. But it's beyond even that.

See, you're in the body of a goddess. Sure, it's the body of the silliest goddess in all of Gamindustri, but goddesshood is goddesshood: your senses (other than your eyesight, apparently) are so sharp that you're afraid you're going to freaking cut yourself with them. Your normal body- Urist Twelfthbay's body- has trouble getting out of bed in the mornings, but as CPU Purple Heart, you've got so much built-in power that you feel like you could go out there right now and fuck up the sun so bad that there won't BE any more mornings, ever again.

And right now, it's like you're staring at a Spot The Differences puzzle; you've only taken one glance, but all those supernatural senses have cottoned onto something and are waiting for your slow dwarf-y mind to catch up.

Blanc runs a hand down her own face, like she's trying to calm her nerves. Or maybe it's because you're staring. "Urist? You still with me?" She leans in closer, frowning. "Shit. I swear to /me/, if Neptune's stupid brain screwed you up-"

(Cont.)

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>>45245141
A shock courses through your system as the realization hits your brain running at a few hundred miles an hour.

You grab Blanc's head with both hands and pull her closer. Her instincts are sound- she immediately responds by snarling and socking you in the gut, but instead of demolishing your spine and bursting through your back, her fist simply thuds impotently into CPU Purple Heart's flat stomach (Sega's the toughest company in the world!, something echoes back to you).

From this close up, even your shitty eyesight can spot the telltale glint of light blue roots.

Her hair is /dyed/ brown.

[ ] [PANIC] SHE'S ARFOIRE, EVERYONE IS ARFOIRE, THIS ROOM IS ARFOIRE, ABORT ABORT ABORT
[ ] [THERAPIST] Keep Blanc still long enough for you to ping her with Therapist! THE INNOCENT HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
[ ] [EXPLANATION, NOW] Don't panic or do anything you'll regret. There's got to be a perfectly reasonable reason for all of this, but you really, really want it now.
[ ] [ALCOHOL] Okay, this is far too many plot twists in one night. Booze yourself up.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>45245183
>[ ] [THERAPIST] Keep Blanc still long enough for you to ping her with Therapist! THE INNOCENT HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

>>45245183
>[ ] [THERAPIST] Keep Blanc still long enough for you to ping her with Therapist! THE INNOCENT HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
>[ ] [EXPLANATION, NOW] Don't panic or do anything you'll regret. There's got to be a perfectly reasonable reason for all of this, but you really, really want it now.
Be prepared for Therapist to not work, if we can't use it as Purple Heart, though.

fuck, I almost forgot

>>45245183
>[ ] [THERAPIST] Keep Blanc still long enough for you to ping her with Therapist! THE INNOCENT HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

>>45245183
>[ ] [THERAPIST] Keep Blanc still long enough for you to ping her with Therapist! THE INNOCENT HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
>[ ] [EXPLANATION, NOW] Don't panic or do anything you'll regret. There's got to be a perfectly reasonable reason for all of this, but you really, really want it now.
Blanc please. Tell me it's just, something dumb and not at all evil. Onegai

>>45245183
[x] [THERAPIST] Keep Blanc still long enough for you to ping her with Therapist! THE INNOCENT HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
[x] [OSHITIMBLIND!] When Therapist confirms our suspicions, claw out Not-Blanc's eyes

>>45245183
>[x] [EXPLANATION, NOW] Don't panic or do anything you'll regret. There's got to be a perfectly reasonable reason for all of this, but you really, really want it now.
Doesn't her goddess form have blue hair?

>>45245302
Sure it does, but it also looks completely different and why would she have to DYE her hair?

>>45245183
>[x] [THERAPIST] Keep Blanc still long enough for you to ping her with Therapist! THE INNOCENT HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

>>45245302
Maybe she's just stuck, it could be affecting all the Goddesses ,it would explain why Urist is in Purple Heart mode and not Neptunu modo

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>>45245183
>[ ] [THERAPIST] Keep Blanc still long enough for you to ping her with Therapist! THE INNOCENT HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
>[ ] [EXPLANATION, NOW] Don't panic or do anything you'll regret. There's got to be a perfectly reasonable reason for all of this, but you really, really want it now.

So... the Blanc in your version of the Hyperdimension not only still uses her hammer in HDD for instead of an axe, but also is naturally blue haired?

>>45245183
>[X] [THERAPIST] Keep Blanc still long enough for you to ping her with Therapist! THE INNOCENT HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
>[X] [ALCOHOL] Okay, this is far too many plot twists in one night. Booze yourself up.

>>45245183
>[ ] [PANIC] SHE'S ARFOIRE, EVERYONE IS ARFOIRE, THIS ROOM IS ARFOIRE, ABORT ABORT ABORT
>[ ] [THERAPIST] Keep Blanc still long enough for you to ping her with Therapist! THE INNOCENT HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
>[ ] [EXPLANATION, NOW] Don't panic or do anything you'll regret. There's got to be a perfectly reasonable reason for all of this, but you really, really want it now.
>[ ] [ALCOHOL] Okay, this is far too many plot twists in one night. Booze yourself up.
>[ ] [PANIC] SHE'S ARFOIRE, EVERYONE IS ARFOIRE, THIS ROOM IS ARFOIRE, ABORT ABORT ABORT

>>45245183
>[X] [WRITE-IN] Roll 1d100 to check if the carpet matches the drapes. And to get this game an AO rating.

>>45245183
>[ ] [EXPLANATION, NOW] Don't panic or do anything you'll regret. There's got to be a perfectly reasonable reason for all of this, but you really, really want it now.

>>45245302
>>45245356
If she really were Blanc (and Blanc in White Heart mode to boot), that gutpunch would've knocked us through the wall

>>45245183
>>45245424
Support.

>>45245432
Knocked Urist through the wall, but maybe not the strongest in the world Neptune and not if she wasn't serious.

>>45245326
>>45245432
I'm just saying that it's probably nothing more than a bit of minor bleed-over between forms

>>45245482
..... well, plutia displayed some subtle bleed-over, but that was only psychological.

I don't remember the speech pattern of Blorps Blanc, but I get an inkling that she used less insults.
(Sadly we can't hear her voice. Would be more obvious then, if there would be bleed-over.)

>>45244013
>[ ] [HOLD ON] Expand your senses. There's something strange going on right here in front of you, and you need to pin it down before doing anything else.

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>>45245424
>[X] [THERAPIST]

OH no. You've had enough fucking twists for an entire lifetime, all crammed into the space of- what, a day? This ends now!

Keeping Blanc pinned for ANY length of time is somewhat like grappling with a bronze colossus: you damn well can't stop her from moving wherever she wants, and if you weren't currently CPU Purple Heart, she'd turn you into meat pudding if she so much as flicks you with a finger.

But you only need a split-second, and that's how long it takes for Blanc to shift gears into straight-up combat mode, so you reach out with Therapist and-

It's not there? It's not there! No, wait, it IS there, you just have to dig a little deeper and-

- aaaand the moment's passed. You know that the moment's passed because Blanc thrusts a palm up into your chin, snapping your head back enough to lift you off your feet, goddess form be damned.

You stagger back into the wall, the barrel of booze thudding against the floor, and the representative personification of all things Sega climbs back to her feet, mad as hell, her eyes burning red and her hair no longer neat-

- but now that you're looking, REALLY looking, it's STILL all wrong. Her dyed hair isn't scraggly or sideburn-y enough to be CPU White Heart, her eyes aren't /glowing/ in anger, and-

"What the hell was that!?"

- and her /voice/ has the rough, snarly inflection of CPU White Heart, but in Blanc's calm tones. As you think this, Therapist finally finishes loading up in your mind's eye, but it's laden with static and lag like it's operating from a long, long distance away.

(Cont.)

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>>45246249
Well, okay, on the bright side, the girl standing in front of you is none other than Blanc.

"Okay, jerkoff, don't think I won't beat you black and blue just because you're borrowing Neptune's body-!" She jerks her head slightly, and her hair shifts straight into CPU White Heart's trademark fringe and rendering that dye nonexistent, down to the two long strands framing her face.

... on the other hand, you've just royally pissed off none other than Blanc.

>Urist Twelfthbay works that Negotiator skill!
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
DC: 70; circumstances bonus: +5!

Rolled 41 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>45246312

Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>45246312
We totally had a good reason

Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>45246312
Start praying

>>45246312

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>45246312
Oh fucking shit, she's a drone

Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>45246312

>>45246340
Safe!

>>45246358
>she's a drone

>Well, okay, on the bright side, the girl standing in front of you is none other than Blanc.
Reading comprehension, do you have it?

>>45246402
Apparently not.

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>>45246340
Seems like we are not going to be pound into paste by Blanc, at least not yet.

On the other hand... if she would destroy the body, either Urist ceases to exist, would be a disembodied wraith or could have been zapped back into her body.

But, alas, less easy solutions, more (text)adventure.

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>>45246473
"Great! Neptune's dead, but I'm back in my body! Yay!"

>MEANWHILE, PLANEPTUNE BURNS, GAMINDUSTRI IS FOREVER DESTABILIZED AND PLUNGES BACK INTO THE GRIMDARK AGE OF WAR
>until someone engraves a memorial slab for Neptune's ghost

>>45246525
>"Great! Neptune's stuck in my head forever, but I'm back in my body! Yay!"
>98% NEPTUNIZED
ftfy

>>45246580
"Great! Pudding! Yay!"
>100% NEPTUNIZED

>>45246580
>99.999999999999999% Neptunized

>>45246525
This is the danger of the easy solutions: They usually backfire hard if the scale is big enough.

I'm just waiting for Urist to go out into Gamindustri in Neptune's body and somehow accidentally accomplish more in a single hour/day than NepNep has in years.

>>45246525
>GRIMDARK AGE OF WAR

Well, there are some people who would like that turn of events.

Also, captcha is a bit weird today.

>>45246708
.... she could give Urist (Her body) permission to build a Fortress whereever she pleases in whichever size she wants in the border of planeptune.

>>45246708
>urist accidently's goddessism
>fixes all the problems in a day
>neptune fucks it all up as soon as she gets her body back in a week.

>>45246966
>For that brief period in time, Planeptune shares shot to the top of all the countries.
>Drop back to last when Neptune returns.
>Proceeds to try and keep Urist around by various means to boost her shares back up.

>>45246966
>Neptune returns, all Planeptune worries for efficiency of new system. Three weeks later, she still hasn't left her rooms, whole nation is automated and working great.
>They finally go to look for her, some Dwarven machine is making pudding as fast as she can eat it, labelled "Neptune Distraction Device."
>Everyone backs out of room, boards it up, lives in peace.

>>45246638
>9999999999999% NepNep'd.

>>45246312
>DC..... passed!

Whoa! Wait, wait, wait-

"Nope, done waiting, murdering now," Blanc grunts, taking the chair you'd just vacated in a one-handed grip. You sidle across the wall, trying to get some distance from CPU White Heart and/or Blanc and/or whatever's going on with her right now.

No, seriously! You had to be sure!

"Sure of what? You had to take a closer peek at the fabled Blanc?" She gives her makeshift weapon an experimental swing. "Do you really think you're the first adventurer to try that shit on me?"

No! That, that you're- that you're goddamn /Blanc/! You're kind of sorry about that and all, but it's still what had to be done!

... you're not a good negotiator. Hell, your skill title might very well be Not Negotiator, and you don't even have the brains right now to dress all that up in fancy diplomancy, or weave together a more convincing way to state it. But somehow, SOMEhow, that stops Blanc's advance, and she actually hesitates, though you can't get a read on her expression. "Are you serious?"

You don't even hesitate to give her an emphatic yes. For some reason, that seems to be enough.

"Right." Blanc laughs bleakly, dropping the chair and sitting heavily on the bed. "The paranoia, the doubt, the backstabbing... I almost forgot."

She's probably not going to kill you, so you get the chair upright and sit back down. What's she even-

"Back when Arfoire first reared her ugly mug, that's what she did to us." The goddess lifts her head and gives you a rueful /look/. "She bamboozled us with those freaking clones, and we could never be sure who was real and who was fake. It was worse back then; we were all but enemies, so we were more than willing to mess each other up."

(Cont.)

>>45247621
You vaguely remember Estelle and Ein talking about something like that, about how Blanc nearly tore them apart out of frenzied paranoia. It's... probably not the best time to bring that up, so you change the subject.

"Huh? What happened to /me/?" Blanc hesitates, and you can /see/ her mind working overtime- and then she sags in place as she comes to a decision. "Remember when I told you I was going to go beat some sense into Vert?"

Yeah, and then she disappeared for a little while, before showing up and getting thrashed by V- oh.

"Yeah. 'Oh.' Arfoire intercepted me, took me off-guard. I thought she was just going to copy my powers like she always does, but she- she's playing for keeps. She took something very important from me. That's why I'm messed up."

... somehow, you're starting to see a pattern here, another memory nagging at the back of your mind. Before you can tease it out, Blanc pins you with a stare, some of that old fire flaring back up behind her eyes. "You have to take me with you to the hyperdimension void," she states firmly. "I need to get it back."

Get /what/ back?

"What she took from me."

Well, yes, but what DID she take from you?

(Cont.)

>>45247654
Blanc's eyebrow twitches, and you can almost /see/ her patience fraying. "That's not important. I just- look. Whether you like it or not, I'm coming with you. I don't care if you don't know how to get back. I don't even care if you have business to deal with in Gamindustri. Either way, I'm coming with you."

Armok dammit, what sort of logic is that?

"If I follow you, I can get to Arfoire." Blanc glares at you- glares /through/ you, like she's contemplating just what she's going to do to the dark goddess. "She wants you, Urist, she'll probably want to claim ownership of Neptune's body, AND she's clearly got someone working for her in Gamindustri. I'd say the chances are high that you'll lead me to her, no matter what."

... great. That's... that's totally reassuring.

>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:
[ ] [HYPERDIMENSION] Fine. Put your heads together and figure out how to get back to the hyperdimensional void. It shouldn't be very difficult, given how easily YOU(r consciousness) got here.
[ ] [GAMINDUSTRI] If that's how it's going to be, you might as well get some business out of the way. You're worried about Vert and Noire, if only because hey presto, they might be sitting ducks for Arfoire.
[ ] [YOUR FRIENDS!] Track down and visit Estelle and/or Rokko, or get Blanc to do this for you. You need to know how they're doing. Hell, at this point, you need as many allies as you can get.
[ ] [PRESS THE POINT] No, seriously, you're getting tired of all this dramatic-pause-and-then-no-information stuff. You'd really, really like to know what Arfoire took from Blanc, because that seems stupidly important.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>45247682
[ ] [PRESS THE POINT] No, seriously, you're getting tired of all this dramatic-pause-and-then-no-information stuff. You'd really, really like to know what Arfoire took from Blanc, because that seems stupidly important.

[ ] [HYPERDIMENSION] Fine. Put your heads together and figure out how to get back to the hyperdimensional void. It shouldn't be very difficult, given how easily YOU(r consciousness) got here.

>>45247682
>[ ] [HYPERDIMENSION] Fine. Put your heads together and figure out how to get back to the hyperdimensional void. It shouldn't be very difficult, given how easily YOU(r consciousness) got here.
>[ ] [PRESS THE POINT] No, seriously, you're getting tired of all this dramatic-pause-and-then-no-information stuff. You'd really, really like to know what Arfoire took from Blanc, because that seems stupidly important.

>>45247682
>[ ] [YOUR FRIENDS!] Track down and visit Estelle and/or Rokko, or get Blanc to do this for you. You need to know how they're doing. Hell, at this point, you need as many allies as you can get.
>[ ] [PRESS THE POINT] No, seriously, you're getting tired of all this dramatic-pause-and-then-no-information stuff. You'd really, really like to know what Arfoire took from Blanc, because that seems stupidly important.

>>45247682
>[ ] [YOUR FRIENDS!] Track down and visit Estelle and/or Rokko, or get Blanc to do this for you. You need to know how they're doing. Hell, at this point, you need as many allies as you can get.
>[ ] [HYPERDIMENSION] Fine. Put your heads together and figure out how to get back to the hyperdimensional void. It shouldn't be very difficult, given how easily YOU(r consciousness) got here.
I want them to know we're okay at least, but I'm not going to say no to more firepower over in spoopy zone.

>>45247682
>[ ] [GAMINDUSTRI] If that's how it's going to be, you might as well get some business out of the way. You're worried about Vert and Noire, if only because hey presto, they might be sitting ducks for Arfoire.
>[ ] [YOUR FRIENDS!] Track down and visit Estelle and/or Rokko, or get Blanc to do this for you. You need to know how they're doing. Hell, at this point, you need as many allies as you can get.

>>45247682
>[ ] [HYPERDIMENSION] Fine. Put your heads together and figure out how to get back to the hyperdimensional void. It shouldn't be very difficult, given how easily YOU(r consciousness) got here.

>[X] [HYPERDIMENSION] Fine. Put your heads together and figure out how to get back to the hyperdimensional void. It shouldn't be very difficult, given how easily YOU(r consciousness) got here.

also get Blanc to send a messenger or something to your buds and tell them you're not super dead or something

>>45247682
>[X] [HYPERDIMENSION] Fine. Put your heads together and figure out how to get back to the hyperdimensional void. It shouldn't be very difficult, given how easily YOU(r consciousness) got here.
Neptune can not be allowed to fuck around in our fortress and/or body for any extended period of time

>>45247682
>[X] [PRESS THE POINT] No, seriously, you're getting tired of all this dramatic-pause-and-then-no-information stuff. You'd really, really like to know what Arfoire took from Blanc, because that seems stupidly important.
Okay, no, seriously. She planning on the Red Ring to be used, to eject certain types of Adventurers, and she was going after people who could build, and had robust systems in place. Judging by what you've done there so far, this could be the detail that clicks her whole plan together, and lets you know how to stop her.
Unless she just stole what little bust you had, in which case this is OBVIOUSLY to divert you from where you are NEEDED.
>[X] [HYPERDIMENSION] Fine. Put your heads together and figure out how to get back to the hyperdimensional void. It shouldn't be very difficult, given how easily YOU(r consciousness) got here.
Must. Escape. Neptune.

>>45247682
>[x] [HYPERDIMENSION] Fine. Put your heads together and figure out how to get back to the hyperdimensional void. It shouldn't be very difficult, given how easily YOU(r consciousness) got here.
>[x] [YOUR FRIENDS!] Track down and visit Estelle and/or Rokko, or get Blanc to do this for you. You need to know how they're doing. Hell, at this point, you need as many allies as you can get.

>>45247682
>[ ] [HYPERDIMENSION] Fine. Put your heads together and figure out how to get back to the hyperdimensional void. It shouldn't be very difficult, given how easily YOU(r consciousness) got here.
>[ ] [PRESS THE POINT] No, seriously, you're getting tired of all this dramatic-pause-and-then-no-information stuff. You'd really, really like to know what Arfoire took from Blanc, because that seems stupidly important.

>>45247750
Oh, geez, what are we going to look like when we get back? I shudder to think what she'll do with our hair.

>We arrive to find Nep!Urist demonstrating what Urist would look like if she embraced the silly anime girl stereotypes of the world
>Urist will never get the image of herself acting cutesy out of her memory
>Neptune will humor her and do the grouchy voice, and Urist will discover it doesn't have nearly the effect she thought it did

>>45246525
Is that Nepgear going on another pantheocidal rampage?

>>45248030
Joke's on her, she doesn't exist in this Gamindustri!

>>45248076
you speak as though that's a problem

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>>45248076

>>45248094
It kinda is, just in case we run afoul of a Goddess and need to put her down permanently. Nepgear is more than qualified for that.

No Nepgear, the Goddess kills us. RIP.

>>45248076
>implying
in b4 nepgear jumps dimensions from a different gamindustri that isn't completely fucked and does her thing.

>>45247682
>[ ] [HYPERDIMENSION] Fine. Put your heads together and figure out how to get back to the hyperdimensional void. It shouldn't be very difficult, given how easily YOU(r consciousness) got here.

We need to make sure that it doesn't fall apart, or that someone "accidentaly" kills the friendly birdman.

Also, send an envoy to Vert and an envoywith escort to Noire to check up on them. (And remind Noire that she should open up her channeland communicate with the other Goddesses, even if she is the favorit target of anything that can hack.)

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>>45248150

>>45248138
Rather, as a problem for Nepgear's pentheocidal ambitions.

>>45247682
>[ ] [YOUR FRIENDS!] Track down and visit Estelle and/or Rokko, or get Blanc to do this for you. You need to know how they're doing. Hell, at this point, you need as many allies as you can get.
>[ ] [PRESS THE POINT] No, seriously, you're getting tired of all this dramatic-pause-and-then-no-information stuff. You'd really, really like to know what Arfoire took from Blanc, because that seems stupidly important.
Start talking you flat bitch, or we'll go without you.

>>45247682
Huh so is that where the big ass chunk of Sharicite came from? Arfoire has Mug?

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>>45248194
She will never live down that ending, won't she?
Seriously, let it rest. She thought is was the best/only way at the time.
Still, why was it even included in the remake? At least they had the holy sword variant, if someone got locked into the route.

>Nepgear
Without spoilers, does V-II treat her better than the constant abuse she got in V?
After V, they really did deserve to have a pantheocidal rampage dropped on.

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>>45248312
>>45248194
Seriously, it was only the one time, and let's be honest, they had it coming. I mean, look at these faces. Would YOU be able to resist killing them?

>>45248397
well, no.

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>>45248382
>dub again didn't cover most of the game

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>>45248397
Those are pretty stabable faces.

>>45248429
embarrassing dess

>>45248397
>I mean, look at these faces. Would YOU be able to resist killing them?
No, but that's because those are yukkuris instead of CPUs.

>>45248441
I mean, why even dub the game if they aren't going to, well, dub the game?

>>45248397
Loli-hag best CPU.

Think we might one day encounter Tiara?

>>45248450
One the one hand I would also say always death to the Yukkuries, but on the other hand there are people who take that to far.
A quick death. Just atomize them, with prejudice.

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>>45248312

>>45248471
>don't dub the game
"These cute girls only speak moon language. This sucks."
>dub entire game
"You spent HOW MUCH on voice actresses?"
Damned if they do, damned if they don't.

>>45247682
>[X] [HYPERDIMENSION]

You have to admit, you ARE worried about the other nations. Though you've only met her for a short amount of time, Vert at least seems like an okay person, and flushing Arfoire AND her own adventurers down into the hyperdimension is a pretty fucking terrible Pyrrhic victory. And Noire closing off all communications just seems like bad news waiting to happen (but then again, Lastation is known for being kind of stand-offish, so maybe that's just their reaction to foreign policy going down the shitter).

Either way, you're not touching that with a ten-foot pole. Sure, you're inhabiting CPU Purple Heart's body and appear to have most of her powers, but that doesn't mean you're anywhere close to /qualified/. Besides, you can't convincingly act like big OR small Neptune, and with all that's happening, you just know you'll be branded as an Arfoire clone and make everything absolutely /worse/.

Blanc quietly confirms that she's basically in the same boat- she's been holed up in her Basilicom, keeping a low profile from all but her most trusted advisers under the (only half-false) cover of recovering from her wounds.

So yeah, that settles that. You're heading back to the hyperdimensional void. And apparently, Blanc is coming with you, because she's damned good at throwing her weight around and you don't feel like arguing.

... you aren't prepared for the soft smile Blanc gives you, or the naked relief shining through her facade, as she nods her thanks. "Good. I'll just tie up some loose ends."

The next few minutes pass in an exhausted blur. You're content to keep sitting on your chair, staying out of the way as you nurse that barrel of booze. Blanc calls in adviser after adviser; you don't recognize ANY of them aside from that brown-haired girl with the garish red 'DK' tie, and she seems to give each of them brief, different sets of instructions.

(Cont.)

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>>45248791
No one seems at all surprised, or even particularly worried. Seems that Blanc slips out like this often enough, unannounced and kept all hush-hush. Hell, all this goes smoothly enough that you get 'em to agree to deliver a short message for you, to Estelle and Rokko, telling them that you're not horribly dead.

You DO think briefly about pushing Blanc for more information, but honestly, she's been through enough shit. Besides, you DID manhandle her, however reasonable your intentions may have been. If you piss her off a second time, you REALLY don't think you'll be lucky enough to calm her down so quickly again.

Speaking of which, Blanc's suddenly next to you, hefting you up to your feet. You're... having a little trouble staying upright. "Okay. Up you get," she grumbles. "And stop drinking. Neptune's enough of a mess WITHOUT that."

No, no, you're- you're good. You're okay. You're totally okay!

Blanc snorts. "CPU Purple Heart can't hold her booze. Good to know. Right, now come on, you've got Neptune's powers now. Between the two of us, we ought to find the 'door' that got you in here."

A door?

"A soft spot between the dimensions that you found. Somehow. It should be somewhere within the Basilicom."

You squint, looking around blearily. Your eyesight really DOES suck, but for some reason, it's better when there's light closer to where you want to look-

"... you mean you can't see in the dark. Urist, that's /normal/."

(Cont.)

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>>45248813
What? Really? Shit. Goddesses really ain't what they're cracked up to be. But whatever, enough about that. You pull free from Blanc and stagger over to the wall you remember using to enter the room. Right. Soft spots. Look for soft spots. You got the goddess eyes, you can /sense/ your signature all over this wall, you just have to push at just the right place, and-

>BECORROTIG ETESTMUSOD
>"TEMPTBLEACHES THE DUTIFUL CHASTITY"
>A SHARICITE DOOR
>This is a sharicite door. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of bone and leather. This object menaces with spikes of sharicite.
>On the item is an image of Urist Twelfthbay the dwarf and Estelle the Dragon Warrior and Rokko the Blue Bomber in sharicite. Urist Twelfthbay is cringing. Estelle and Rokko are striking a perverted pose. The artwork relates to the groping of the dwarf Urist Twelfthbay's chest by the Dragon Warrior Estelle and the Blue Bomber Rokko in the early summer of 260 during Irafe Eletha, "The Assaults of Thunder."
>On the item is an image of Neptune the goddess and eggplants in sharicite. Neptune is surrounded by the eggplants. Neptune looks terrified.

Huh.

... huh.

You know you should be absolutely mortified and/or enraged and/or terrified by /something/, but you're too drunk to put your finger on i-

"What the FUCK!?"

[TO BE CONTINUED NEXT THREAD]

>>45248839
That's one lewd door

>>45248813
>>45248839
>"... you mean you can't see in the dark. Urist, that's /normal/."
No that's weird.

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>>45248839
>"The Assaults of Thunder."
Thanks for the thread Blorp, it's great to have you back finally.

>>45248587
>"These cute girls only speak moon language. This sucks."
Said no one who enjoys Neptunia, ever.

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Right, it's getting pretty late, so we'll wrap up the thread and continue next time!

We'll pick up on Monday, 2/8, at roughly(?) 8-ish pm EST. Updates will go on https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest, and questions can go here or to ask.fm/BlorpQuest (which might be better, since I can't catch this thread before it slides off the board)!

Thanks for participating, guys! Catch you all next time!

Boy, am I ever glad to be back in America, where I can post on an imageboard about scantily clad anime girls committing wacky dumb anime-esque violence toward each other while anon posters comment enthusiastically about increasingly strange things. GOD BLESS.

Rokko sidestory coming whenever it's done! Eventually!

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>>45248839
>On the item is an image of Urist Twelfthbay the dwarf and Estelle the Dragon Warrior and Rokko the Blue Bomber in sharicite. Urist Twelfthbay is cringing. Estelle and Rokko are striking a perverted pose. The artwork relates to the groping of the dwarf Urist Twelfthbay's chest by the Dragon Warrior Estelle and the Blue Bomber Rokko in the early summer of 260 during Irafe Eletha, "The Assaults of Thunder."
>On the item is an image of Neptune the goddess and eggplants in sharicite. Neptune is surrounded by the eggplants. Neptune looks terrified.
Excellent.

>>45248912
Bye bye Boss

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>>45248891
Fun fact:

I pulled the dwarven/elven names and translations from an actual DF game. Hell, that's how I get most DF-ish names to use in this quest, for Urist's creations that aren't famous characters or megabeasts.

Because really, you just can't beat- or out-Dwarf Fortress- Dwarf Fortress's random name generator. I knew EXACTLY what I was going to do with Dutiful Chastity and The Assaults of Thunder the moment I saw those cross my screen.

>>45248984
Blorp, it was worth basically staying up from 3 am to 8 am.
You bring me to laughter like not much else. (Well, Starcraft field manual also does that, but thats beside the point.)

Captcha: Pick all pictures witzh "bread", how fitting for me.

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>>45248912
Damn my sleep schedule, I'm never awake when you're running this.

So how was the land of Rice and Smog?
Are you the real Blorp or a Commie Robospy sent to report the activities of the Enemy youths

>>45249201
disgusting

>>45248912
What kind of hell were you in that wouldn't allow this, and how many bombs do we need to drop to free the poor bastards left behind?

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>>45249343

>>45249465
no
remove this heresy immediately

>>45249465
BIGGER

great, and urist is forbidden from destroying/defacing the door or risk a violent explosion.

>>45249945
The power of Uni compels you.
(Both the character, the christian denomination etc.)

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>>45249991

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>>45249991