>>45253229
You don't.

>>45253229
Always be happy.
Make friends with everyone. Even the bad guys. ESPECIALLY the bad guys. Its a CHA build.
Retrieve. Needn't retrieve gold.

>>45253229

A stranger is simply a friend you didn't know you had.

Life is beautiful.

If it smells good, it's probably tasty.

You just feel "empty" without something in your mouth.

Little humans are just retarded pack-mates. Since you're also retarded, they make amazing friends.

>>45253282
>Always be happy.
>Make friends with everyone. Even the bad guys. ESPECIALLY the bad guys. Its a CHA build.
Also, whenever anyone asks about your alignment, tell them you're a good boy, ooh, yes you are.

Don't be afraid to dump INT.

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Low int and wisdom.
Super high charisma.
Don't actually retrieve anything you're asked to.

Golden retrievers are the white people of dogs

Also remember your natural bite attack is nerfed as hell, the tail whip is far more effective if you can stand by someone and be really excited that thing just goes knocking around small children.

>Get pregnant
>have like, nine puppies
>literally everyone in the neighborhood wants one

Like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkFs3YzxN_E

"this is awesome"
"you are awesome"
"this food is probably awesome"
"this is probably awesome food"
"am I awesome yet?"

>Golden retriever - Elves

>Humans - German Shepherd

>Dwarves - Bulldogs

>Orcs - Pit Bulls

>Halflings - wiener dogs

>>45253229
Friendship levels: Max.
Optimism levels: Max.

>>45253314

My dad once had a golden retriever when he lived on the farm that would retrieve OTHER people's kills.

Hunting season comes along and ole Charlie would just bolt towards the distant sound of gunfire, and would occasionally come back with a duck or pheasant.

That said, this was also the dog who's idea of fun included "kill raccoons near bodies of water" and "deliberately knock over my dad's brother when drunk to get the leftovers."

>>45253229
Hope Corgi but taller.

>>45253405
>darnit billybob ah sure did hit that there duck din't ah? nao where is the darn thing
>whoa jay dab-you, wait up a second. aint this right here where old mcAnons farm is? betcha his goddamn dawg is roun here sumwher stealin ahr gayme
>ah swer ta gawd ah see dis daym dawg an it got a duck in 'is mouth ah'ma shood it

eh. neighbour's dog once stole half a pound of butter from the 4 ft high kitchen table and ate it
also regularly bypassed a 5 (later 9) ft fence because our garden apparently was just that much more interesting.

>>45253229
Have you watched BoJack Horseman? Be like Mr. Peanutbutter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7HoriPhc1Q

>>45253522
Golden Retrievers tend to see just about everything as a new challenge. And they see challenges as games for enjoying.

>Oh man they put up a fence! This looks fun!
>OH MAN THEY PUT UP A BIGGER FENCE IT'S AMAZING JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED.

It's like an appetizer before a meal.

>>45253295
>If it smells good, it's probably tasty
Don't forget to roll around in it first to get the scent all over you

>>45253229
Spend your days being generally pleasant and enjoying yourself. Try your hardest to do good things for your friends. If it can fit in your mouth, you should eat it. If you meet someone new, make friends with them. Unless they hurt your current friends, in which case fuck them right up. Nobody hurts your friends.

>>45253568
i just dont get how this dog whose shoulder height was around my knee could jump a fence that was taller than I could reach

>portal gun probably

>>45253381
Yeah, like that.

>>45253229
You should ask on furaffinity, they're the ones with experience on the topic.

>>45253579
Also bark at people who look different from what you're used to.

Don't actually hate them, just bark loudly at them and then immediately chill out be their friend if they don't rum off

>>45253522

Wrong side of the Missouri Compromise, dad was from Wisconsin.

>>45253381
>>45253525
The talking dog from Dexter's Lab is the best example

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>Playing as scrub-tier dogs
>Not playing as best dog

>>45253579

And if it can't fit in your mouth, pick it up and carry it to a friend, they know what to do with it.

>>45253616
He wants to know how to roleplay one, not fuck one

>>45253641
fuck if I know where that accent was supposed to come from, english aint even my first language

>>45253641
My condolences.

>>45253656
Those look like literal balls of fur with mouths

What are they?

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>>45253656
>Tiny ass yapping rat
>Best Dog

Bitch please.

>>45253641
So replace "Jay dabyou" with "oof da" and maybe some "aww Jeez"

Also, write them...drunker.

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>>45253717
>Lhasa Apso
>Tiny
>Yapping
They're not actually that small, they just have very short legs and have quite a loud, deep bark as is appropriate for their original role as interior sentries.

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>>45253792
In my defense, after you a dane, nearly every other dog seems pretty small.

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>>45253717
bitch, pleeease

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>not wanting the biggest ball of fluff that is a St. Bernard
>huge
>intimidating
>actually a harmless softy
>is also very soft
>charismatic
>and fucking big

Be a good boy.

>>45253568

And that meal, when we were dog-sitting our friend's retriever, was out neighbors chickens. We found one survivor who had somehow managed to jump back over the fence onto our side and was hiding behind a shed.

That dog will forever be known to me as "chicken-killer."

>>45253390
Truth.

Goblins are chihuahuas.

Fuck this thread and everyone in it, dogs are as disgusting as people if not more

Kill yourselves, I swear to god one of these days I'm going to soak some sausages in antifreeze and just walk around town chucking them into people's yards

>>45254268
Inshallah, brother.

>>45253717

Walk by a house that has a Great Dane and 1d6 yip-yip dogs every day on my way to work.

The yip-yips are all "What the fuck are you doing on my sidewalk, asshole, get the fuck out!" starting a half block away. The Great Dane barks twice, says "OK, we're done here, guys." and walks back into the house.

Big dogs don't need to give a shit.

>>45254268
(you)

>>45254268(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)(You)

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>>45254268
>cat people

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>>45254317
Hey, hey, as a cat person, don't lump us with that piece of shit.

>>45253846

Man, I'd love to own an Ovcharka like that but I'm not sure I could train him. I mean obviously I'd shell out for obedience classes and socialize him from a young age, but still. If your dog can murder a fucking bear he can definitely eat a poodle or a small child.

>>45253229
you shold also forget how to dog from time to time from all the excitment. Golden retrievers have a tendency to be overhealmed when there is too much stuff to do and just quit for a minute or two before they find someone who can help them out

>>45253390

What race is Pomeranians?

>>45254359
My cousin that lives next door has one. Friendliest dog i've ever seen(and so was his previous Ovcharka)

>>45254268
sounds like somebody is a faggot, how dose it fell to be a freindless fuck?

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>>45253381
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMqxjHHuvLM

>>45254440
How does it feel to be the kind of redditor that values "friends" in any measure of superiority?

>>45254317
Cats are disgusting too.

>>45254440
>how dose it fell

>>45254489
fuck, sorry for that, spellcheck screwed me over on that one

>>45254436

Good to hear, thanks m8. I'll look into it more I guess.

Other options being a Leonberger or St. Bernard

>>45253717
>Life expectancy: 7 years
>Best Dog

Okay bud.

>>45254582
Have you considered a Newfoundland? My brothers on his second, and they're great.

>>45253902

My neighbors have a Great Pyrennes named "Zeus" that's much the same way.

He's a huge pure white killing machine that is about man height when he gets on his hind legs. Every time we pass him while walking the big guy jumps, gives out a big throaty bark, and when we walk over to pet him he becomes a quiet, happy ball of fluff.

>>45254582

You should get a Samoyed.

Or, as I discovered, a Chow/Sheltie mix, which tends to make an adorably fluffy and loyal dog.

>>45254582
St.Bernards are amazing. Smarter than every shepherd, helpful, kind, easier to train and fluffy as fuck. And i doubt you'll need your dog to be able to suplex bears.

Drool over everything though.

>>45254317
> Obama
> weaboo
> cares about animals

Found the redditor

>>45254691
>disliking weebs on 4chan of all places
>doesn't remember 4chan literally hunting down animal abusers over the internet

hownew.ru

>>45254268
Calm the fuck down there Dong-Suk

>>45253336
But Border Collies and Laboradors are the best dogs.

Important question. Which system is best for doggie shenanigans?

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>not wanting to grow up to be a fucking lion

>>45254645

My last dog two dogs were purebred Shelties. I'm very fond of them but I'd like something bigger now that I actually have space.

>Samoyed

Interesting, I do need a dog that can deal with cold. It snows for 4-6 months where I live and often gets to be -20C down to -40C. (Dog gets to stay inside if it's cold, though)

>>45254612

Completely forgot about them, but they are pretty awesome. I used to look after one when the owners were away (same thing for a trio of German Shepherd-Rough Collie crosses). Thanks for the reminder, a Newfie could be cool.

>>45254666

kek. You're right, it doesn't actually have to be able to suplex bears. Being able to defend itself against a few coyotes would be a plus though. It might be better to get two for that purpose (female coyotes will lure away male dogs and then jump them), but feeding two St. Bernards seems like it would be impossible.

>>45254757
Golden Sky Stories
Refluffed Mouseguard
Shadowrun. Call it Kennelrun and turn mundane activities like trying to dig under the fence to roll in that smelly thing you caught a whiff of into an epic heist. SR also works surprisingly well for Rugrats style shenanigans.

Are Pit Bulls the "dindu nuffin" of the dog world?

They maul a baby and the response seems to be gushing over how angelic and perfect they are.

>>45254803
Pit Bulls are great, if they're not raised to be cunts.
They're just very good fighting dogs, so they're generally raised to be cunts.

>>45254803
They're more like genetically engineered supersoldiers trying to adjust to a world with no more wars.

>>45254803
Pit bulls are literally evolved to fight viciously at the drop of a hat.
They're as adorable as any other dog on a good day, but they are bred killers and that has to be acknowledged.

>>45254803
Like almost any dog, it's all about how they're raised.
Some unfortunate pit bulls are owned by people who want a mean, nasty dog and are raised accordingly.
Give a pit bull to a proper owner and they are indeed perfect and angelic.

It's nothing like a Kangal or a Dalmation, who are literal shitcunts to everyone except a single owner they imprint on.

>>45254803
They're no more dangerous than huskies. But everyone loves husky's because they're floofy

#floofprivilege

>>45254891
>literal shitcunts
Ew nigga.

>>45254891
I've met Dalmatians that were as sweet and friendly as labs

>>45254803
Yes and you should never use force on the dog to try to stop it from killing a kid EVER in fact while the dog is killing your child you should fight the owner

>>45254916
Harden up nigga
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YndPdVzP9H0#t=2m15s

>>45254347
Yeah right! I have both! And horses- all of them make good friends

>>45254803
there is no such thing as a violent dog, just a stupid master. Pitbulls are much more dangers than other dogs when it comes to jaw strength but overall they will be chill as fuck if you know what you are doing. I have a mutt, she loved to play with my neighbours two pitbulls, never had a problem

>>45254945
I always gently scatch behind the pit bull on my street's ears while he tears my children's faces off.

>>45254945
>tfw I wear steelcaps everywhere and dogs are at perfect kicking height.

>>45254800
Some dude did say he'd play a Golden Retriver in an upcoming game back when the system was released.

>>45253295
>You just feel "empty" without something in your mouth.
Hot.

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Rescue dogs are where its at. Purebreds are genetic failures.

pitbulls and amstaffs owners always go full "HE DINDU NOTHIN' HE A GUD BOY", it's hilarious

>>45255188
yeach, mutt dog best dog

>>45255188
Objectively.

Purebreds make Darwin cry.

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What color of Golden Retriever is, in your opinion, the best color of Golden Retriever?

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>ywn have the most aryan of dogs

>>45255277
Golden.

ITT: we /an/imal lovers now
never change /tg/

>>45255328
>not blue eyes
you're going in the right direction, but still need more eugenics

>>45254425
Kobolds, constantly talking up their great and ancient heritage while living in shit and knifing each other over scraps.

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>>45255328

That's not a Samoyed.

>>45255277
Lighter hair makes for thinner hair, which is nice and silky, but not quite up to scratch when you want to go nuts on your dog. My family had a full family tree of them, and two sisters had the starkest contrast in colour and texture.

I've also experienced an anecdotal tendency for paler golden retrievers to be more excitable and rambunctious, anyone else had the same experience?

It definitely depends on what you want from your dog, but since a golden retriever is by default an excitable adventurer dog, I'd lean more towards a slightly darker than average one.

>>45254803
They're genetically predisposed to being violent assholes.

You can train it out of them in most cases, but at that point you have to ask yourself why you didn't just get a dog that you don't have to specifically train not to enter suicidal attack mode on anything at the drop of a hat.

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>mfw will never be

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>>45255277
chocolate

Now how does one roleplay a Newf hound the Labs hard working cousin.

>>45255440
>They're genetically predisposed to being violent assholes.
Not true actually. In fact, if not trained by an asshole, they're one of the best breeds around kids.

(But they're well equipped to fuck shit up, and I'd never adopt one, wouldn't trust it unless I had raised I myself. No telling what trauma it might have)

>>45255508
does "upper class family" imply workaholic husband that's never home and lonely bored housewife?

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>>45255418
Oh, so THAT'S what greater dog is.

>>45255521
step 1: jump in water
there is no step 2

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>>45255277
Flat-coated Retriever best Retriever

Like a Golden Retriever but BLACK

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>>45255328
>used to have a black mutt bitch
>she fucking hated black Africans

God, that crazy, crazy dog went apeshit whenever a black African was somewhere in her detection range, which had a radius of something like three to five walking minutes.

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>>45255627

Greater Dog and Annoying Dog were either Pomeranians or Japanese Spitz.

Lesser Dog is a Samoyed, though.

>>45255692
spoilers: the dog noticed that you are uncomfortable around black Africans and reacted accordingly

>>45255560
It's 100% true, the statistics prove it.

>inb4 b-but it's just the owners!
Bullshit. There are better dogs out there for both raw fuck-shit-up potential AND intimidation, they just don't train into unstoppable killing machines as easily or reliably.

The most popular use of the breed since it's creation has been blood sports, and they were selectively bred to this purpose.

They do what they were bred to do, just like any purpose-bred breed. In this case, that purpose just happens to be "being a violent sociopath" rather than anything particularly useful.

>>45253390
What about Border Collies?

>>45255728
Spoiler-bis: the dog wasn't introduced to black people when she was young, and was just weary of the unknown.

>>45255692
>black Africans
there's any other kind?

>>45254288
Yeah, the Bigger and more intimidating a dog is, the quieter and more mellow they tend to act.

My Dane liked to bark like mad when the door bell rang, but he was a bit of a runt. Which meant he was still bigger than any of my cousin's shithead Lab Mixes.

>>45255745
Whatever helps you sleep at night, bruh.
Just keep watching for floating televisions.

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>ctrl-f
>Not a single mention of the dog from Up

Get your shit together, /tg/

>tfw 2 of my sisters have amstaffs
>they meet eachother on the street
>dogs apparently hate eachother
>one of them ninjas his way out of his collar
>starts attacking the other, biting huge wounds
>85lbs sister with the loose dog is just standing there petrified
>no one is helping (rightfully so, who the fuck would want to get into that mess)
>has to force the two dogs apart
>loses a fucking finger

I'm not overly impressed by amstaffs.

>>45255737
It's rules-illegal to have a race with such a big INT bonus.

>>45255789
That's how it works, m8. Dogs get used to some body types being friendly to them, the ones they don't know make them worried and/or fearful.

>>45255765
He probably lives in South Africa, where being white is actually a thing

>>45255827
That's a very convenient lie you've told yourself.

>>45255810
that's a mutt, this thread is about purebreds

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>>45253390
What about these guys?

>>45253295
>You just feel "empty" without something in your mouth
So it's a healer build

>>45255765
Most people indigenous to north Africa are closer to arabs or southern Europeans than anything else. The Sahara is one hell of a natural barrier.

That or he lives in South Africa, but a violently anti-Dindu dog would be pretty awkward in that case.

>>45255870
That's a cat, anon.

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>>45255765
Well yes, there are also African-American Africans, like General Butt Naked, White Africans, like the folks in South Africa and Arab and semite/greek-descend Africans, which covers most of the people along the Agean coast - It's a big continent.

>>45255745
Probably.

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>>45253229
No, but I once played a mutant Coyote with human-like intelligence in a Deadlands: Hell on Earth game.

>>45255870
catfolk.

>>45255879
Take your stale memes back to your shitty board, /v/

>>45255870
meme dog

also dogs who show their anus all the time are gross.

>>45253846
would ride into battle/10

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>>45255917
>fights naked

He wears suits now
Also he's become a priest

>>45255692
>>45255328
True,my friend have that Swiss Shepherd and since we don't have blacks around here it hates on Asian immigrants instead.

>>45254829
So basically like telling a space marine that the great crusade is over and he needs to calm the fuck down

>battle brother, why did you...
> FILTHYYY HERETIIIICSSSS

>>45255818
They may have the largest INT bonus, but they're all autistic as fuck.

They are high wired to shepherd and guide EVERYTHING to what they perceive is their rightful place. Regardless of the consequences or even if it achieves nothing.

So they're basically draconic.

>>45255870

Kitsune.

I'm serious, they're pretty much fox-dogs.

>>45256021
If you're an autist who can only understand things of they're related to 40K, sure.

>>45255870
very annoying

much meme

so reddit

wow

>>45255864
Dug is a golden retriever. Also purebreds? More like inbreds.

>>45255882
>Most people indigenous to north Africa are closer to arabs or southern Europeans than anything else. The Sahara is one hell of a natural barrier.

But then why are African-Americans allowed to state their ancestors built the pyramids?

>>45256038
But domesticated foxes are dog-cats

>>45256061
Cuz they wer kungs n shit

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>>45256061
Have you seriously never heard of Nubia

>>45256022
>Dragonborn
i'm okay with this.

>>45256061
KANGSNNN SHIIET

>>45255765
Boers, Arabs, Berbers.

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>>45256092
But actual pyramid-builders removed them from the premises

>>45255870
shrill annoying drama overly petty drama queens that are allowed to get away with being terrible because they're cute

ie kender

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>>45253390
I nominate Scottish Terriers to represent the Gnome race.

Also Golden Retrievers are too happy and friendly to represent elves, which have a history of being xenophobic little shits. They should be Border Collies.

>>45255870
Aliens.

>>45256129
And then got removed themselves. Nubia & Egypt took each other over all the time. Until the greeks, the romans, and the arabs decided they wanted a piece.

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>>45256061
>But then why are African-Americans allowed to state their ancestors built the pyramids?

Because biraciality is the dominant concept of race in the US. Within that logic, they could rightfully claim that their ancestors built the Great Wall of China and the Vatican on top of the pyramids.

It's a rhetoric trick that has been made possible by the discurives enviroment white US Americans created and are invested in.

>>45254743
> what are aryans
The best kind of white.

>>45253522

My dad had a Rhodesian Ridgeback in his youth named Jack. Jack once jumped through a plate glass window at the neighbors to eat like 5 pounds of hamburger off their table.

>>45253390
Halflings are corgis.

Small, adorable, and hard to take seriously, but they WILL fuck your shit up if you give them a reason to.

>>45255612
lewd

I was about to give my input. Then i saw /tg/ did a good job.

Just fyi my Lab character was named 'speed' and could carry an item in a satchel on its back.

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>>45254317

>>45255917
Actually there are more.

There's the really big Africans, the tiny Africans (literally pygmies), bush Africans and so on.

>>45253792
>>45254762
>Tibetan dogs best dogs

>>45256960
That's 2racerealist4America.

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Based as fuck herd dog coming through.

Their herding instinct motivates them to try to herd people too. When going on walks through the woods with the whole family, ours would try to slow down the fastests and then try to get anyone lacking behind to catch up.

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>>45257003
Tibetan Terriers are fun. The familiy of a friend used to have one. They bathed theirs regularily and rubbed almond oil into its fur, making it the damn best smelling dog I ever met.

>>45257033
Americans are silly, if they didn't have so much dakka, I really wouldn't recommend paying too much attention to what they think.

>>45257145
to be frank i dont think they give much fucks, and plus unless you have oil/are a cunt america wont turn its dakka twords you, russia, now thats what you shold pay attention to

>>45253706
Filename friend. They're adorable. Not sure if they're one of the breeds with bad health problems though, do some homework if you want one, I know the ones I've seen were sweet if a bit crochety.

>>45254268
Found the muslim

>>45257041

Watching Border Collies herd a bunch of kids or a pair of drunks is the most fun you can have on some Friday nights.

>>45257318

>Who could hate man's best friend, but man's greatest enemy?

>>45255043
>no such thing as a violent dog

You hyperbolic fucks ruin the position of everyone who agrees with you by making us look stupid. Stupid masters MAKE violent dogs.

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>>45253336
I actually think that the "insert race here" of dogs is dependent on where they're bred. Mostly because they're bred to mesh well with their owners needs, thus they reflect their owner's lifestyle and disposition. With that in mind Golden Retrievers are Scottish bred, so yeah, they're white, but more specifically they are Scottish. Rotties and German Shepherds are German, Welsh Corgis are Welsh, Tibetan Mastiffs are Tibetan, Chihuahuas are Mexican, etc.
>Pic Related is a Caucausian huehuehue

>>45257429
hmm, probobly shold not have translated that saying into english, aperently it dose not exist here. Anyways what i ment is that stupid masters make dangreous dogs

>>45257319
Reality show of border collies herding drunk dudes when?

>>45257455
It's not a saying in english, but it's an idea everyone knows.
Well, almost everyone.

wow

>>45254803
It depends on how game bred they are. If you have a pup descended from a line of type A killer fighting dogs, that little bastard is probably going to be as punchy as Angron.

That's why pit bull breeding is serious business, especially on the East Coast. And why most professional breeders fucking hate dumbasses in the ghetto slapping dog lineages together and murdering the ones that won't scrap.

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>Not multiclassing for maximum CHA shenanigans

>>45253229
Where is the rainbow shadow?

>>45258483
Yes.

>>45253309
>Don't be afraid to dump INT.

>>45253314
>Low int and wisdom.

Aren't Golden Retrievers the posterchildren for blind guide dogs precisely because of their high intelligence (by dog standards)?

>>45258994
Calling dogs smart or dumb is dumb.
Dogs are easily trainable and eager to learn, or they're not. Golden are easy to train, eager to learn and very willing to please, like most dogs.

>>45254268
Ahmed detected

>Good, Neutral, Bad
>Boy/Girl, Neutral, Dog
Depends where you fall on the axis.

Dump wis
Stack int/cha

>>45259438
Who's a neutral girl? Who's a neutral girl? Yes you are! Neutral girl!

>>45253717

This man purchased that dog for the purposes of sex. I guaran-fucking-tee it. Look at that fucking degenerate's face.

>>45259438
How about Good, cheeky, bad?

>>45259556
Do Americans ever use the word "cheeky"?

>>45253229

Rogue, dex/int/cha, a little strength to make sure your tail attack can destroy everything on a small table in one hit.

Be sure to retrieve all the gold you can, but never give it to anyone.

>>45259594
No we don't.

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>>45255816
See, this is because they were probably not English Mastiffs.

All other Mastiffs are inferior.

>>45259709
Is that shooped or do they actually get that gigantic? For fucks sake, I'm pretty sure women and light men could ride them like a horse.

>>45257343
Tyrannosaurs hate dogs?

>>45259730
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_Mastiff

The largest Dog breed in terms of mass. And as a former owner of one, yeah. They are fucking freight trains with the composure of kings.

>>45259785
>>45259709
>>45259730

>What the Lion is to the Cat the Mastiff is to the Dog, the noblest of the family; he stands alone, and all others sink before him. His courage does not exceed his temper and generosity, and in attachment he equals the kindest of his race. His docility is perfect; the teazing of the smaller kinds will hardly provoke him to resent, and I have seen him down with his paw the Terrier or cur that has bit him, without offering further injury. In a family he will permit the children to play with him, and suffer all their little pranks without offence. The blind ferocity of the Bull Dog will often wound the hand of the master who assists him to combat, but the Mastiff distinguishes perfectly, enters the field with temper, and engages in the attack as if confident of success: if he overpowers, or is beaten, his master may take him immediately in his arms and fear nothing. This ancient and faithful domestic, the pride of our island, uniting the useful, the brave and the docile, though sought by foreign nations and perpetuated on the continent, is nearly extinct where he probably was an aborigine, or is bastardized by numberless crosses, everyone of which degenerate from the invaluable character of the parent, who was deemed worthy to enter the Roman amphitheatre, and, in the presence of the masters of the worlds, encounter the pard, and assail even the lord of the savage tribes, whose courage was sublimed by torrid suns, and found none gallant enough to oppose him on the deserts of Zaara or the plains of Numidia.

All English Mastiffs are Paladins by nature.

>>45259730
It's pretty clearly photoshopped, but English Mastiffs can reach three feet tall and over six feet long.

>>45257652
I've heard it I'm English, too, but to be fair to that guy, it is self-defeatingly hyperbolic. Try being an equal rights advocate without getting lumped in with the worst of tumblr feminism.

>>45259785
>>45259842
>>45259859
Noice. I guess they're a bit like Great Danes in that regard: massive yet gentle.

>>45259542
Get out

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>>45253229

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>>45260331
Literally: How to play a Golden Retriever. Right here. Lemmie scan it. in.

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>>45260345

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>>45260367
If someone wants to pile all these scans into a .pdf, i'm betting they could be helpful for when we have this thread next week.

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>>45260384
So, golden retriever is a Pedigreed Pooch, +15 primary trait, +10 Human Handling, Base Canine Compulsion of 20, and 60 building points.

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>>45260419
Assume that he takes the Bone of Plenty, 'cause that'll keep his HP topped up.

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>>45260439
You're a Hunting Dawg, so your base stats are:
Brawn 40
Hustle 40
Dodge 30 (Large)
Alertness 40 (+15 Primary)
Human Handling 40 (+10 v. Dog Breeders)
Animal Magnetism 40
HP 30 (Large)
and you have The Mighty Sniffer, 85+ on an alertness check and you can track by scent!

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>>45260493
Pick flaws and perks to taste. I recommend "Happy Tail"

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>>45260517

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>>45260534

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>>45260560

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>>45260587

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>>45260616
19 total pages, btw

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>>45260641

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>>45260659
I love the dog in that picture, he's like... DAT TAIL!

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>>45260679

Dog hipsters are the worst.

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>>45260698
>>45260708
Wait, there are dog hipsters? Do they have immaculately groomed whiskers and wear thick rimmed doggy goggles?

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>>45260723

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>>45260745
And - Character sheet. Done.

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>>45258106
Why play a wilting flower when you can go max Cha

>>45255810
So that's updog

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>>45261111

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>>45261137

>>45260723
It always makes my day better when I remember I can Google image search "doggles" whenever I want.

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>>45261167

>>45261167
From cute to what the fuck in three pages. Nice!

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>>45261197

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>>45261241

>>45261241
I never asked for these feels

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>>45261302

>>45261329
What. The. Hell.

>>45261329
What was the comics name again?

>>45261329
Aw shit yeah, I love these guys! It's like World of Darkness for neighborhood pets!

>>45261695
>>45261563
>>45261307
>>45261204
>>45261193
>>45261863

Beasts of Burden. The specific one I posted is The View from the Hill.

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>>45261329

>>45261167
>>45261329
>0 Insight / 99 Insight

>>45254945
Yeah, that is what a sidearm is for.

>>45261329
But if there are no sheep or cats in Dog Heaven, what do the dogs chase?

>>45253229
You have five emotions; three of them are "love". The other two are confusion, and desire for food.

>>45263111
Bitches

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>>45261031

>>45259254
That's the thing though. Some dog breeds are generally slow to learn. That's why they're dumb.

>>45255870
>hating a dog because it's a meme breed
They're surprisingly aggressive but that's pretty much it. Why do you faggots have to make even dog breed choice a dick-measuring contest?

>>45261871
Do you have the one where they team up with Hellboy?

>>45254691
>he thinks it makes him look like an oldfag to hate animals
That's 2013 /b/ behavior at the oldest. Return to /b/ and never come back.

This thread needs more We3

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>>45261031

>>45255765
Aborigines are black non-Africans.

>>45255735
>It's 100% true, the statistics prove it.
The statistics that "prove" it use the results of a poll from a 1982 issue of Animal People Magazine for their figure for the total percentage of the dog population pitbulls make up, and modern figures for the percentage of attacks pitbulls are responsible for. They're assuming their percentage of the canine population has stayed constant over thirty years, despite the massive boom in the breed's popularity that occurred in the late 80s-early 90s, and despite more recent studies that use shelter data to estimate that pits and pit mixes may make up between thirty and fifty percent of contemporary dogs.

Do you have any idea how bad that methodology is? It's like using census data from 1945 to get the percentage of the American population that are Latino, comparing that to Department of Labor statistics from 2015 showing what percentage of the workforce are Latino, and thus concluding that every Mexican in the US holds down 1,493 jobs apiece.

>>45259594
Only when we describe something made entirely out of the things flaps of flesh covering the sides of one's mouth

>>45263950
>and thus concluding that every Mexican in the US holds down 1,493 jobs apiece.

Well, the Mexicans are taking our jobs, after all, and this statistic proves how they're doing it.

>>45254582
I absolutely love St. Bernards, German Sheperds, and Rottweilers. I've owned all of them, and they're all wonderful dogs.

If you ask me it really does depend on how you raise them, and whether or not you have enough space/dedication to let them burn off their energy. These are big dogs, and they need to be able to let loose and run around, otherwise they're a lot harder to keep in check. I am lucky since I live out in the woods my dogs have always had all the room they needed, but you can, in theory, manage by taking them for a lot of walks. Bonus points if you can let them off the leash to sprint around.

I will have to say though that if you're not sure if you could train a big dog that St. Bernards are the easiest to train, and the ones that adapt the easiest to being cooped up. They're just naturally friendly animals, but they can still seriously put the hurt on if you're being attacked. And yes, they can tell the difference between messing around and legitimate threats so you don't have to worry about it eating a kid if he punches your shoulder.

Still, do your research. Buying a pet (especially such a big one) is serious shit. Good luck.

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>>45261031

>>45256324
Had a retriever/shepard mutt jump through a second story window to go play with the kids at a nearby schoolyard.

He was a good dog.

>>45253229
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHPXIIcy3Cc&feature=youtu.be&t=1m19s

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>>45254268
Die in a fire.

>>45254317
Hey, I like cats. I own a cat. But I also like dogs. I grew up with them in the house and in my uncle's house. My favorite breed are the shelties.

¿Por que no los perros y los gatos?

>>45253229
Put every god damn thing you find in your mouth.

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>>45253229
>pic related
CHA
sorcery
a dash of leeroy

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>>45261193

>>45261031
I don't get it.

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Extremely important.

>>45265542
I mean, if you don't know, just ask.

You can go ahead and ask what that means.

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>>45253902
Can confirm all of this. Pic is mine.

>>45266191
Okay. What does it mean?

>>45264178
Train your Saint Bernard early, preferably before he's big and strong enough to tow you like a draft horse. Because they can do that.

>>45254945
>be me
>walking in the park
>oh shit pit bull attacking a kid by the swings
>owner is hysterical trying to pull the dog off
>immediately punch the owner as hard as I can
>pit bull looks up, whimpers, and walks away
>I did good today

>>45266723
there is nothing more hilarious than watching some tiny ass white woman getting dragged by her 10 foot long omega-canine

On that note there's a lady in my neighborhood who has a Greyhound, very pretty dog.

We aren't allowed to have anymore dogs, my Dad doesn't want one in the house until, and I quote, "I'm old enough that the dog will outlive me"

Had to put down too many :(

>>45266905
I'm thinking about adopting a greyhound after I graduate. I've heard they make good apartment dogs.
I do like beagles and Bassets, but they would be horrible in an apartment.

>>45266393
With the thing you're wondering in the sentence, anon, or we won't understand. What does what mean?

>>45266191
Fine, what's up dog?

>>45267576
Nothing much, how are you?

>>45254803
Yes, they're the niggers of the dog world.

>>45254482
>How does it feel to be the kind of redditor that values "friends" in any measure of superiority?

I ain't on reddit, but other than that, pretty good. I get hugs, free baked goods, and helpful criticism when I fuck up that helps me be less of a shit.

>>45255728
spoiler: this is not Reddit, gtfo

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>>45255917
>folks in South Africa and Arab and semite/greek-descend Africans, which covers most of the people along the Agean coast -

>>45255917
It's general butt fucking naked, you neanderthal.

>>45255737
Border Collies have a major problem with boredom. If you don't have something for them to do... they will *find* somethign to do. What that is... is most likely not good.

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It is hilarious that /tg/ finds it easier and more acceptable to roleplay a dog than to roleplay a woman.

>>45268832
[Citation needed]

>>45268832
Makes perfect sense. Digs ate creatures of honor, love, fraternity, and emotion whereas women are abominable constructs of hate, greed, and jealousy.

If Goldies are elves dies that make Labrador Retrievers half elves?

>>45269039
Dogs are creatures, rather

>>45268832
Does she have birds hooked onto her belt by the eye sockets?

If I am interpreting the image correctly, I would like to know why

>>45259254
>Calling dogs smart or dumb is dumb.

"What range of cognitive functions can x display".

You are retarded.

>>45268832

>easier

Playing any lower order creatures would be easier than playing a complex character, if you just bother to read a bit of material beforehand.

>more acceptable

The fuck you on about?

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>>45259769
Tyrannosaurs have converted to Islam now?
Mother of god! They tried to warn us!

>>45269628
>The fuck you on about?

Threads bashing "crossplaying", saying that no man should play a female character, and the like. They pop up periodically on /tg/.

>>45269828
Fuck off SJW shill

Hey guys are we going somewhere I love to go places new smells new sights new food new places to roll when are we going can we go now go now go now go now go now go now go now yeah we're going let's go this is great fuck yeah.

>>45255816
I feel you. Like literally, got bit a couple of time breaking dog fights. Though you shouldn't really try to pull them apart before you break the trance.

>>45254268
>>45259357
You're making want to loose a couple of greased swines on the nearest mosque anon.

>>45257083
I imagine that freshener smells like burning flesh and tires.

>>45260053
I recently got a pup from a friend who has a massive English Mastiff named Asia. Glacial but unstoppable force, Asia is. Has the strength to kill a bear but unless provoked she won't bother gathering the effort to chew a flea.

>>45270293
Good guess, it does smell exactly like the consequences of an abrupt end to apartheid.

>>45269999
He has a point, people do seem to be crazy uptight about a man roleplaying a woman for some reason.

>>45270561
No one truly, sincerely likes a tranny. With obvious evidence, they can't even like themselves.

>>45268787

So Kender then?

>>45259594

Only when we make fun of the English.

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>>45261329

That legitimately creeped me the fuck out.

>>45268832

A dog is faithful and doesn't cut you down every chance it gets.

>>45261871
Im going to regret the shit out of this, but do you have the daisy one?

>>45261329
Fuck me, man.

>>45261871
Writer Evan Dorkin
Artist Jill Thompson
Genres: Horror, Action/Adventure

> Horror

>>45268832
As you can sadly tell, most fa/tg/uys respect dogs more than they do women.

>>45255879
7/10

>>45272684
Not those anons, but I just happen to respect dogs more than people in general. It's not that they're women, its that they're human

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>>45253309

>>45256053
There is nothing wrong with Reddit.

>>45274370
>>45274370
>There is virtually no difference between Reddit and 4chan

Fixed that for you

Best breed/mix for the NPC companion of an angsty teenage girl who saw all her friends die?

>>45274683
This is what Reddit actually believes.

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Play some hoops

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>>45254268

>>45255765
White Africans have lived in South Africa for like four hundred years, Holmes. They predate the United States of America.

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>>45255627
What the hell is a Greater Dog?

>>45255412
Kobolds confirmed Niggers

>>45255699
i actually squee'd

>>45255699
He's just so happy!
He sees you looking at him and he's like, "hey, what are we doing? What's going on? We gonna play?"

>>45263950
>and despite more recent studies that use shelter data to estimate that pits and pit mixes may make up between thirty and fifty percent of contemporary dogs
This shouldn't be underestimated. There are a lot of mutts out there that feature pit heavily.

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>>45261241

>>45269828
And Bernie Saunders threads pop up on /pol/
Is /pol/ a leftist board?

>>45255248
They prove all his points on artificial selection tho.

>>45255765
Go ask /his/, they'll be glad to school you about all the Phoenicians, Jews, Arabs, Greeks, and Romans in N and NE Africa.