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>>45687004
A chill goes down your spine, and you barely manage to resist vomiting. It was inevitable, you /know/ it was inevitable because this twisted universe loves girls and making girls suffer and making girls suffer with /tentacles/, you KNEW that the damn things would make an appearance somehow, but- that monster is in your fucking MINDS, what the everloving /hell/!!

You wish you could curse more, but down below, CPU White Heart is in a bad spot.

-WONDERFUL DEE EFF SEE,- the monster burbles in contentment, like a discerning buyer examining someone's wares.

"Gerroffame, you-" Blanc snarls, smashing reaching appendages into bloody goo with every swing of her maul; however thanks to whatever Arfoire did to her, she's not nearly up at full fighting potential, and she's too damn slow like this. One tentacle already has her by the leg, wrapping up her calf and knee and forcing her to thrash around in an ever tightening radius; it won't be long before more of the things lash her down further, and that'll be it for her.

But you're not going to give this monster time to do that, are you.

>[X] [ATTACK!!]

With a wild shriek, you force CPU Purple Heart's body into a steep dive, lashing out with her ridiculous zweihander katana thing- immediately, you're off-balance, having underestimated your own divine strength, but that doesn't matter one fucking bit. As it cuts through the air, the glowing sword-girder seems to burn a searing purple trail behind it, and you're forced to blink the afterimage from your eyes.

You blink again as the tentacle you were aiming for slides into two gooey halves, followed by five of its neighbors; the bisected appendages flop into a disgusting mess, seeming to deflate before your very eyes.

(Cont.)

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>>45687021
See, you'd pat yourself on the back, but there are literally hundreds more of the things sliding up from the ground, and you have to dodge frantically to avoid getting snagged.

"Are you shitting me? Is this entire floating landmass a monster or something!?" Blanc roars below you, grabbing a bolder tentacle and pulping it with her bare hand.

Right. Too many damn tentacles, and you're basically a flying melee fighter with a sharp blade. If you're fighting this thing, you need a damn plan.

[ ] [DRIVE FOR THE CENTER] Damn the torpedoes, fuck defense, full speed ahead! Kill the heart, and the rest will fall; you're fast enough for that, you're a goddess right now!
[ ] [MAKE IT BLEED] This monster has to have some sort of upper limit of how many tentacles it can lose. Keep away from its main mass and chop it down from the inside out. Gotta go fast, motherfucker.
[ ] [PINPOINT THOSE RESTRAINTS] Dance around the monster's reach and slash at the tentacles restraining Blanc- you'll stay out of trouble and free your ally in one fell swoop, though you'll might give the monster time enough to shake off its sleepiness.
[ ] [MORE FIREPOWER] If you get caught in those tentacles TOO, you and Blanc are pretty much doomed. Stay out of range and see what sorts of violent ranged abilities Neptune's body has to offer, and rain death on your enemy!
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>45687145
>[ ] [JET] Turn into a jet and do a bombing run

>>45687145
>[X] [PINPOINT THOSE RESTRAINTS] Dance around the monster's reach and slash at the tentacles restraining Blanc- you'll stay out of trouble and free your ally in one fell swoop, though you'll might give the monster time enough to shake off its sleepiness.

>>45687145
>[ ] [PINPOINT THOSE RESTRAINTS] Dance around the monster's reach and slash at the tentacles restraining Blanc- you'll stay out of trouble and free your ally in one fell swoop, though you'll might give the monster time enough to shake off its sleepiness.
And then we can fuck off.

>>45687004
How long has our D been missing?

>>45687145
>[ ] [DRIVE FOR THE CENTER] Damn the torpedoes, fuck defense, full speed ahead! Kill the heart, and the rest will fall; you're fast enough for that, you're a goddess right now!

Normally I would recommend the ranged option (Neptune Jet) but this thing should never be and be gone. Return it to nothingness, so that people can say less annoying terms.

DRIVE FOR THE CENTER
Nuke the site, cleanse it with divine fire, burn it all.

>>45687145
[ ] [PINPOINT THOSE RESTRAINTS] Dance around the monster's reach and slash at the tentacles restraining Blanc- you'll stay out of trouble and free your ally in one fell swoop, though you'll might give the monster time enough to shake off its sleepiness.

>>45687145
>[x] [MAKE IT BLEED] This monster has to have some sort of upper limit of how many tentacles it can lose. Keep away from its main mass and chop it down from the inside out. Gotta go fast, motherfucker.

>>45687145
>[x] [DRIVE FOR THE CENTER] Damn the torpedoes, fuck defense, full speed ahead! Kill the heart, and the rest will fall; you're fast enough for that, you're a goddess right now!

>>45687145
>[ ] [MAKE IT BLEED] This monster has to have some sort of upper limit of how many tentacles it can lose. Keep away from its main mass and chop it down from the inside out. Gotta go fast, motherfucker.

I AM NOBODY'S WAIFU. IF ANYTHING *YOU* ARE *MY* WAIFU. IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?

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>>45687145
>[ ] [PINPOINT THOSE RESTRAINTS] Dance around the monster's reach and slash at the tentacles restraining Blanc- you'll stay out of trouble and free your ally in one fell swoop, though you'll might give the monster time enough to shake off its sleepiness.
The tentacle creature doesn't understand.

Little sisters are so much better than waifus!

>>45687369
>Urist in Purple Heart's body waifuing the tentacle monster
2lud

>>45687369
Gross

>>45687145
>[WRITE-IN] Try to summon something that damages on contact. Magma men, fire imps, a FB made of acid, etc. Then send it to attack the monster..
>If it doesn't work, use [MORE FIREPOWER] to [PINPOINT THOSE RESTRAINTS]

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>>45687391

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RIGHT, looks like [PINPOINT THOSE RESTRAINTS] wins! Wrote about a quarter of the update before remembering something very important-

>Urist Twelfthbay slices, dices, and can even cut a tomato!
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best of three, higher is better!
DC: 80; Bonus: +15 for being NepNep!

Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>45687849
>that DC
Satan save us!

Rolled 38 + 15 (1d100 + 15)

>>45687849

Rolled 85 + 15 (1d100 + 15)

>>45687849

Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>45687849

Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>45687849
HWG

>>45687889
Thank god.

A bad part of me wants to flub all our rolls against this thing

>>45687955
You should be seriously ashamed.

It would be nearly acceptable if it where a normal tentacle being, but against a being uttering those kind of words there should never be anything other than eradication.

>>45687955
That's something a bad guy would do!

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>>45687955

>>45687955
>wasting time while shovel is in danger
SHAMEFUL

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>>45687955

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>>45687955
I'll flub all your rolls against this thing.

>>45688335
Well, if we are lucky it will be "just" behave like a sarlacc: We get to be stripped into one of its stomaches for multiple decades while we are slowly consumed.

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>>45688468
>implying Urist would ever be so lucky
>implying it wouldn't be far, far worse than that if she and Blanc are both immobilized by this thing
>and not in the lewd way

>>45687004
ITS TIME! NIGGERS!

>>45687874
>>45687889

The Dark Lord Answers your pathetic peals for salvation from the vacuous pit of the necrotic. Bring forth your debt to thee.

>>45688792
Satan is in league with this abominational cross between Hentai assumptions and the worst side of Harem animes, evidenced by the low rolls at his summoning. So he owes us one favor.

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>>45688792
Thanks for the help Satan-chan! Here's your sacrifice!

>>45688560
Hmm, I'm guessing mind rape with probable puppeteering. Quasilife as a doll.

>>45688560
Considering this guy gives off some Gravemind impressions...yeah, it'd be pretty bad.

>>45688929
So.... should we get ready to use a final solution? (Summoning Hidden Fun Stuff/Setting a Hidden Fun Stuff spawner)

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>>45689010

You have pleased me, Blorp.

You have pleased as all.

>>45689010
>>45689033
He made it on saturday, but remember he was still a bit late.

>>45688560
I am tempted to write lewd funtime writefaggotry for this...

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>>45688904

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>>45687145
>[X] [PINPOINT THOSE RESTRAINTS!]
>DC.... PASSED!

Punching straight through the sick bastard's internal organs and killing it thoroughly appeals to you; diving headfirst into that clusterfuck while wearing a bikini does not. Sure, this is Neptune's body and she miiight deserve getting goosed by a few tentacles, but that doesn't change the fact that you're wearing her body and would walk funny for a month AND don't want to, y'know, fucking die.

The frontal approach is right out. Too damn risky. As for making it bleed, the monster is barely reacting to your attacks-

"Fuck you. Fuck you!" Blanc's fury isn't nearly back up to her usual explosive levels, but her furnace is clearly getting stoked. One tentacle's caught her wrist, stopping her from properly using her maul, so she's savaging her attacker with her bare hands, slime gushing everywhere as she messily tears the flesh slithering all around her.

-DELICIOUSSSS,- the monster booms. Somewhere in that looming, writhing mass, the balefully glowing lights- eyes?- suddenly dim, as if going half-lidded. -OH YESSS, LITTLE GIRL, YOUR RESISTANCE ONLY MAKES ONIICHAN HAAARDERRRRR.-

...

Suddenly, you're calm, almost detached. Absent-mindedly, you slice a questing tentacle and look down, your eyes meeting Blanc's flat red gaze. Wordless agreement passes between you, goddess-to-(provisional)-goddess, and a peaceful sense of determination fills you from head to toe.

This thing's gonna die.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qheHsjZg9zs

This thing's gonna die, and Blanc's gonna help you kill it.

(Cont.)

>>45689149
..I'm terrified to ask for a source because I don't know whether that's porn...

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>>45689238
Adrenaline surges through your veins and you go from zero to sixty in a heartbeat, angling straight down toward the ground. The monster's appendages are deceptively slow and peaceful, but writhing tentacles soon fill your vision and your entire world as they surge up to meet your headlong charge, cutting you off from the sky as they form a cage around you-

And not one touches your skin.

Relaxing just slightly, you let the Nep-Nep take over, and CPU Purple Heart's muscle memory saves both your asses. Neptune's sword effortlessly dances before you and carves a path through, malevolent feelers reduced to so much mangled meat. You don't stop there; the bloody slime suspended midair doesn't even have time to start falling before you boost through (ew ew ew EUGH), and you spin sword-first toward Blanc.

The world flips upside-down, the star-studded cosmos briefly seeming to pass beneath your feet, and your sword unleashes the wrath of Nintendo upon the poor unfortunate tentacle monster.

The grin splitting CPU White Heart's face is terrifying to behold. "Heh."

-MY WAIFUS,- it burbles too late, tentacles grabbing uselessly as Blanc puts all she has into flying straight up, a glowing white rocket hurtling into the stratosphere. You can't capitalize on her freedom, or the distraction she makes; forewarned by the magical ability known as "pattern recognition," you barely have time to boost back out of the way as the slender girl comes screaming back down like the fist of the goddess that she is, holy flames lighting up the hyperdimensional void.

"EAT THIS, JACKASS!"

The impact rattles your eardrums, and you have a picture-perfect shot of Blanc's hammer smashing through fifty tentacles, missing the main mass by a hair, and embedding itself into the rock beneath the monster.

(Cont.)

>>45689238
Is it an eggplant plant?

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>>45689271
Slowly, surely, the rock cracks in a ragged circle around Blanc's point of impact, white flames shooting out from the island's core, before nearly half the island gives way with a colossal CRUNCH, shattered fragments the size of small buildings hurtling into outer space.

And freed from the rocks' embrace are bones, wrapped in desiccated vines.

For a moment, you can't help but stare at the devastation Blanc has wrought, and that's when the monster makes its move.

-ENOUGH OF THAT.- The voice is no longer indistinct; it's clear as a bell, and imposingly deep. -MY WAIFUS. MY CHOICE.-

Damaged, oozing, and missing a third of its mass, the tentacles shift nonetheless, and /something/ pulses out from the monster's core.

"Goddammit." Blanc immediately boosts back, her eyes narrowed as she braces herself. "Urist! Watch out, it's-"

-MY GAME,- it whispers silkily, and you stiffen as something cold and calculating slithers into your mind.

>U͡r̂ͤ̿ͩ̾ͮiͮͤͧ̈́͗̽͞s̈́̿ͤ̔̇t̂̿̓ͪͭ ̃̍ͯ̐͐Tͮw͂̽̈́͛͑ͫ͜e͒͋ͬͧ͞lͭf̊͑ͥ̋ͫ̓͢t̾̓̐h̆ͬͨb̒̍ͯ́̾̇͗͡a̓̆̄̉͌̍̉y̵̅ ̂͛͢r͋ͨ̅̿ͮͤes̶ͯȉͮ̀̒̈̒̈s̡ͪ̍͌͊ͯt̍̊̔̍s̶ͤ ͣ͆̀t̓̾ͤͭ̾h̨̔ͪͣ͐̃͒̈́e͊͛ͦͤͫ͑̚
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
DC: 85; Bonus: +25 and a slight safety net due to divinity, prior successful mauling, and burning existential rage.

Rolled 51 + 25 (1d100 + 25)

>>45689328

Rolled 30 + 25 (1d100 + 25)

>>45689328

Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>45689328
Whee!

>>45689328

>>45689246
Prisma Illya

Rolled 85 + 25 (1d100 + 25)

>>45689328

>>45689365
>>45689367
>>45689370
Welp

>>45689365
>>45689367
>>45689370
Dammot

Rolled 80 + 25 (1d100 + 25)

>>45689328

>>45689365
>>45689389
it's like the modifier doesn't even matter

>>45689365
>>45689367
>>45689370

The Dark One calls.

Hear the knell of his mocking laughter.

>>45689389
>>45689407
SONOFABITCH

I shouldn't have rolled ;_;

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>>45689365
>>45689367
>>45689370
You all suck.

>>45689415
uh, pretty sure the last correct roll was the 17.

Lte us just hope the safety net is "First five rolls".

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>>45689365
>>45689367
>>45689370
>Huh, anon's been making these rolls easily
>and the modifier's going to be pretty high for the next one
>Better bump the DC up a litt-
>oh

Writing!

>>45689506
That's bad logic and you should feel bad

>>45689488
I expect the safety net is 'You're mad enough to get a second try to not get mind controlled, after enduring a lameass monologue about waifus and other bullshit'.

>>45689557
That is also fair. Or being smacked out of it by Balnc.

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>>45689527
To be fair, 3 tries on a 40% chance is something like a 79% chance to succeed on at least one of them.

But then again, since when have dice ever obeyed the laws of probability?

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>>45689506
Considering how rolls usually go for this quest, you shouldn't have put faith in anons rolls.

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>>45689506

give me back my first four rolls rule.

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>>45689246
Not technically porn but ya know. Fan service.

>>45689699
>not LUCKY STUPID and STUPID LUCKY

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This somehow seems relevant.

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>>45689742
WE ARE NOT OGRES.

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>>45689527
>>45689662
>>45689684
>>45689686
I blame my hiatus for making me relearn this lesson

>>45689728
possibly the lewdest thing ever.

>>45689775
And yet can anyone who isn't a dwarf explain just how our fortress works the way it does?

>>45689787
Difficult things should be difficult. Easy things should be easy. Failing a difficult task should be expected and failing an easy task should be hilarious. That's it.

>>45689787
Well we forget everything at one time or other.
At least you are as sorry as Margatroid.

>>45689814

Temporal displacement beams and ultrarelatavistic calamity cascade variations in the neutonic substructure of the euclidean particle exchange theory.

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>>45689787
Oh well. It happens.

>>45689900
And now what sort of thing do you suppose people said about how the ogres did their thing?

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>>45689900

>>45689936
Sandnigger magicks.

>>45689959
Yeah I've seen up to the end of season 2. Should probably watch Drei at some point.

>>45689992

Well, when you put it that way.

>>45689814

Blorp whats your opinion?

This:
>>45689900

Or this:
>>45689992

>>45687145
What is that statue even

>>45690077
Not going to lie, I really, really like the sound of >>45689900
because I'm a fan of ridiculously overcomplicated explanations for ridiculously simple concepts!

>>45690418
I... I have no idea. I THINK it's from a movie, but I grabbed it like a minute before thread started because through some terrible oversight, I don't keep pictures of writhing masses of tentacles on my computer.

>>45690418
It isn't a satue. It is from Doctor WHO. One of the third Doctor Episodes, "The claws of Axon".

>>45690485
Plant people?

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This thread is lacking in eggplant Moe.

>>45690519
A mass or nerves and other fleshly biological things.

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>>45690573

Someone killed Blorp. I think.

>>45690834
>>45690768
probably this post.

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>>45690834
I think this happend.

>>45690882
>>45690883
Agreed
I will commit seduku for my actions.

>>45690768
I-is that m-m-mayonnaise to go with eggplant?!

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>>45690938

>>45689328
>DC...........

- and like hell you're going to let that monster finish whatever the fuck it's doing.

Gritting your teeth, you shake your head and release all fucking limiters. Whatever twisted propulsion system powers CPU Purple Heart's flight hurls you forward so fast that you nearly break your neck, and you don't exactly cut the most dignified figure as you scream in rage, but it's enough.

You punch straight through the monster, layers of tentacles giving way like so much string cheese, and the entire physical structure- tentacles on tentacles, supported by tentacles and buoyed by sick twisted dreams of haremhood- collapses into a pile of ooze and gore.

And that's it. It's over.

You slide to a stop and collapse to your knees as you regain your breath, cold sweat beading on your brow. Shaking off that fucker's mental attack drained you something fierce, but you still manage to lash out a wobbly kick to the tentacle beast's remains. With a grunt, you thrust the point of Neptune's sword into the ground and start levering yourself back up-

(Cont.)

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>>45691170
- but then his strong shoulder slides underneath your arm and brings you back to your feet, and he steadies you with a careful hand.

"Too close, Urist," your aide mutters dourly, shaking his head. The dark-haired man cuts you a glance, but his bangs fall over his eyes- not that he can do anything about it, since he's got his hands full with you, and you take a grim satisfaction in that. "I swear, if anything happened to you-"

Bitch, bitch, bitch, you snap back. In all the years he's adventured with you, he doesn't coddle you like a mother hen when you're a rock-solid dwarf, but now that you've got legs that go all the way up, you're suddenly fucking fragile, this-end-up-only?

He sputters indignantly, flushing red, and you roll your eyes. Goddamn dork- you make to shove him away. It doesn't work, because you're a skinny goddess instead of a dwarf, but what the fuck ever- a wry grin tugs at the corner of your mouth, anyway. Never change, you stupid-

"I see how it is," Blanc deadpans. She saunters over and shoots your aide a flat stare. "You've got your eyes on those great big stonking tits that her temporary body's got on her. Look, Urist, I'll do you a service- I'll remind him just why flat is justice."

"W-Wait, are you serious?" he stammers, looking scandalized. "Come on, Lady Blanc-"

"Whoops," she deadpans.

And that's when CPU White Heart slides in and takes his other arm, all but pressing herself against it, the little minx. She ignores how you stiffens, and as your aide loses his goddamn spaghetti, she gives you this smug, superior /look/, staring straight into your eyes with a strange intensity-

(Cont.)

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>>45691202
Again, something wordless passes between you. But this time, a cold bucket of water goes right down your spine as something's hold over you snaps- and snaps easily, at that.

"Girls, girls," h̡͠҉e͟͢͝͝ says, putting an arm (no longer warm it's cold and) around both your shoulders. You turn away from Blanc's eyes- was that a flicker of relief?- and stare straight ahead, no longer daring to look straight at your a- at the, the vaguely humanoid thing standing between you.

You owe Blanc so, so fucking much for this.

"Look, we shouldn't be fighting. We have more important things to do- gotta get you patched up." Something brushes your cheek, and it takes all of your willpower not to scream, or even twitch; instead, you growl deep in your throat and shake it off like you would an unwelcome headpat, and h̶̡é̷̛̛͝ chuckles indulgently under his breath.

... it's waifus. He's saying that fucking word again.

Right. R... right. H̸̨́e̵̷̡ thinks you're still in h̵͢͞i҉̴s̡͢͠ spell. Blanc, too. That's great, because you really don't want to chance getting another blast of whatever the hell that was. You don't want to test Blanc's resistance to it, either.

Just as you start preparing yourself for sudden explosive violence, the thing between you and Blanc perks up. "Hey! Isn't that one of your friends up over there?"

Your head snaps up, and you crane your neck to stare.

(Cont.)

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>>45691222
Shovel Knight. It's Shovel Knight, and oh Armok she looks like absolute shit, if it hadn't been for that stupid helmet you wouldn't have recognized her because /that's all she's wearing/ from her original outfit.

The young adventurer leans on her shovel, breathing raggedly. She's... she's wearing a goddamn school uniform, blazer and pleated blue skirt and knee-high white socks and all. Even worse, it doesn't look much better than she likely feels; she's roughly decent, but she'd be a lot more decent if not for those big ugly rents in her clothing that reveal pale skin and dried blood.

Thank fucking god that that horned blue helmet is perched right where it always is, even if it's a little crooked. Though it gives her a lopsided look, she's still wearing her massive gauntlets and gloves, and they're still in one piece.

What makes you happiest is that her shovel is covered- hell, it's ENCRUSTED in slime.

Shovel Knight sucks in a breath and draws from some reserve of goddamn endless determination, because she's standing right back up like she wasn't ever tired in the first place. Gods, she's been out here for /days/- "Release them, fiend!" she booms, pointing her shovel at the thing between you and Blanc. "Release the innocent gi-"

She pauses. You can /feel/ her eyes widening under that helmet, and her shovel wavers, and droops slightly, and-

Oh. Oh, shit.

Any adventurer seeing two goddesses under this thing's yoke would probably have a slight existential crisis, huh.

(Cont.)

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>>45691252
"Good timing! Girls, let's go introduce her to my hidden friends," ḩ̵͠é̷̡͘ suggests casually, squeezing your shoulders. "I've been meaning to introduce them to you, and to everyone who's in the hyperdimensional void! They're very important to everything, you see..."

You shiver involuntarily as the thing's voice whispers into your ear. "You'll absolutely /love/ them."

Armok save you.

And you don't mean that in lieu of a curse.

[ ] [PLAY DUMB] Friends? He has friends? He has HIDDEN friends!? Fucking- you can't kill him yet, you need more fucking info. Except you can't risk using Therapist to alert Shovel Knight- that's how your dream-self crashed into this monster in the first place, isn't it?
[ ] [VIOLENCE NOW] Now or never, because FUCK future hooks- you don't want this thing pumping out any more brainfuck waves, even if you are prepared for them this time. Kill it with Blanc, and get Shovel Knight in on the action!
[ ] [THERAPIST] Telepathy is a risk in front of a monster with mind-fuckery powers, but when you gotta, you gotta. Alert Shovel Knight to the fact that this ain't what it looks like, and get her in on this. If you can get THREE of you playing along, this monster might just reveal everything.
[ ] [FLEE] Fukkit. Ping Blanc and Shovel Knight on Therapist. Get all three of you to... to your portal, because you know you can access it. Get the hell out of here. This is way above the three of you, and you can't risk ANY more brain waves fucking you up.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>45691306
>[ ] [VIOLENCE NOW] Now or never, because FUCK future hooks- you don't want this thing pumping out any more brainfuck waves, even if you are prepared for them this time. Kill it with Blanc, and get Shovel Knight in on the action!
>[ ] [LEVER] Pull it

>>45691306
>[ ] [VIOLENCE NOW] Now or never, because FUCK future hooks- you don't want this thing pumping out any more brainfuck waves, even if you are prepared for them this time. Kill it with Blanc, and get Shovel Knight in on the action!
No.

>>45691306
>[ ] [VIOLENCE NOW] Now or never, because FUCK future hooks- you don't want this thing pumping out any more brainfuck waves, even if you are prepared for them this time. Kill it with Blanc, and get Shovel Knight in on the action!
It Must Die

>>45691306
>[ ] [VIOLENCE NOW] Now or never, because FUCK future hooks- you don't want this thing pumping out any more brainfuck waves, even if you are prepared for them this time. Kill it with Blanc, and get Shovel Knight in on the action!
This'll definitely work this time

>>45691306
>[x] [VIOLENCE NOW] Now or never, because FUCK future hooks- you don't want this thing pumping out any more brainfuck waves, even if you are prepared for them this time. Kill it with Blanc, and get Shovel Knight in on the action!
...with fire!

>>45691306
>[ ] [VIOLENCE NOW] Now or never, because FUCK future hooks- you don't want this thing pumping out any more brainfuck waves, even if you are prepared for them this time. Kill it with Blanc, and get Shovel Knight in on the action!
Remove Waifus

>>45691306
>[X] [THERAPIST] Telepathy is a risk in front of a monster with mind-fuckery powers, but when you gotta, you gotta. Alert Shovel Knight to the fact that this ain't what it looks like, and get her in on this. If you can get THREE of you playing along, this monster might just reveal everything.
Oh goddesses, the harem visual novel protagonist is working for Arfoire, we need to squeeze him for information before we annihilate his ass.

>>45691306
>[ ] [FLEE] Fukkit. Ping Blanc and Shovel Knight on Therapist. Get all three of you to... to your portal, because you know you can access it. Get the hell out of here. This is way above the three of you, and you can't risk ANY more brain waves fucking you up.
We need to get Shovel Knight a chance to get away and rest.

And us a shower.

>>45691306
>[ ] [VIOLENCE NOW] Now or never, because FUCK future hooks- you don't want this thing pumping out any more brainfuck waves, even if you are prepared for them this time. Kill it with Blanc, and get Shovel Knight in on the action!

combined with

>[ ] [WRITE-IN] Just throw everything you have at them. Anything, Everything.

This includes Hidden Fun Stuff, Jet Nep, Everything.

>>45691306
>[VIOLENCE NOW]
It may not be the most stratrgically sound choice, but I cant' imagine Urist doing anything else right now.

>>45691415
Seconding Nep jet.

>>45691422
Drinking?

>>45691306
>[ ] [VIOLENCE NOW] Now or never, because FUCK future hooks- you don't want this thing pumping out any more brainfuck waves, even if you are prepared for them this time. Kill it with Blanc, and get Shovel Knight in on the action!

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>>45691306
>[VIOLENCE NOW]
>[VIOLENCE LATER]
>[VIOLENCE FOREVER]

>>45691456
That's for afterwards.

>>45691306
>[X] [WRITE-IN] Summon some cats.

>>45691306
>[ ] [THERAPIST] Telepathy is a risk in front of a monster with mind-fuckery powers, but when you gotta, you gotta. Alert Shovel Knight to the fact that this ain't what it looks like, and get her in on this. If you can get THREE of you playing along, this monster might just reveal everything.
Information is key to every war.

>>45691555
>deliberately taking more SAN damage

that isn't a good idea.

>>45691543
I think even Urist would rather use the Booze to make sure that that abomination stayes down than drinking it. (AKA: Booze over it and burninate. Works in anime.)

>>45691306
>[ ] [WRITE-IN]

"Master, I also have hidden friends that deserve to know your glory! Faithful companions to serve your . . . every need!"

Summon corrupted cat-neps

>>45691490
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhr-CRcK3OM

>>45691490
I like the cut of your jib anon

>>45691607
>Cat-Neps
Oh why not, let's summon ALL the goddesses in chibi-catgirl form, then give them the same reproducing abilities.

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>monster thinks he has his waifus under control
>invites "hidden friends" over to plunder their supple peripherals
>the moment one of them addresses us in any way, pic related

>>45691636
>>45691306

I wanna do this plan. We will Urist corrupt the Nep and probably scar Blanc for life.

>>45692068
>Implying Blanc isn't scarred for life as it is. With many, many scars.

I wonder what manner of forgotten beast Urist-in-Nep would summon.

>>45692550
Hyperdimension dogoo

>>45692550
A Giant Eggplant made out of acidic gas.

>>45692550
Hoard of eggplant-men.

>>45692608
>>45692591
>>45692584
>>45691306

Can we count these as summons votes?

>>45692677
We don't even know if we CAN summon yet.

But if we can't I'm pretty sure Nep-in-Urist can.

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>>45692550

File: 1450622606786.gif (2.88 MB, 653x540)

2.88 MB GIF

>>45691306
Okay.

Just-

... alright.

The thing's words, they ARE going through your ears, and they ARE registering in your brain.

You realize there's a chance this thing /might/ be batting for Arfoire, because Arfoire is the source of everything that's fucking terrible in Gamindustri, and you can't attribute anything this diabolical to ANY deity, even the perverted unknown makers of the Gamindustri dimension.

You are VERY aware that /more/ of these tentacled waifu-screeching grognards slumbering in the hyperdimensional void spells very bad news for your fortress, Hyperdimension (gods, you need to name your fort something clearer than that).

Hell, having these things within spitting distance of Gamindustri is /terrifying/, and if you hadn't closed the door to your portal on the way out, you... you can't even FINISH that thought, that's how horrifying it is.

So, yeah. You know, on some level, that more information is the key to winning every war, or some philosophical shit like that, and that it could be worth it to play along in the search for more information.

It's just that you are completely, absolutely, irrevocably, indisputably, incredibly, INEVITABLY, 1000% done with this sanity-sapping horror.

>[X] [NOPE]
>[X] [FUCKING NOPE]
>[X] [VIOLENCE]
>[X] [INDISCRIMINATE VIOLENCE]
>[X] [KILL IT WITH EVERYTHING]
>[X] [TAKE A SHOWER LATER]
>[X] [VIOLENCE LATER, TOO]
>[X] [VIOLENCE FOREVER]

Determination fills your heart, and suddenly, you know what's going to happen. Shovel Knight's going to lift her trademark weapon back up, but the monster will have noticed that moment of weakness, and then it'll grin to itself and keep trying to psychologically fuck up the young adventurer and open her up to a psychic attack, so you can't raise the monster's suspicions until it's too late-

Hey, Blanc.

The shorter goddess pins you with slightly panicked glare, but you wink and keep growling- hands off, slutendo slutertainment slut... ystem! He's mine!

(Cont.)

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>>45693048
And then you tense up, and you start /pulling/, your prior words camouflaging imminent violence with playful harem antics bickering. Immediately, Blanc tightens her grip on its arm and follows suit, her eyes glowing imperceptibly.

"Ow! H-Hey, not in front of the new girl," the monster laughs nervously, playing up the hapless harem protagonist role to the hilt. It ruefully shakes its head at Shovel Knight, not noticing as you and Blanc tense up further and coordinate a quick count of three. "Sorry about that, they're kind of a handful. If I wasn't here to keep them together, they'd be at each others' throa-"

The shrill inhuman /howl/ that erupts from the monster's maw is audible even over the sound of one tentacled body being torn straight down the middle as you and Blanc crack it like a fucking wishbone, and it is the most splendid music for your ears.

You cut your half of faceless protagonist into messily leaking fifths before kicking off the ground, landing in front of Shovel Knight and keeping your sword up. Behind you, you hear a whimper of sheer relief and the sound of someone falling to her knees.

Blanc touches down next to you a moment later, and she's disdainfully wiping down the front of her body with the back of her hand with clear disdain (wasn't there some shady group that would've paid a fortune to see her like this?). "That one was on me," she growls wearily, some of the fire leaking out of her voice. "Should've briefed you on built-in divine defenses that'll blunt the edges of that kind of shit."

You shrug helplessly, but you're saved from an answer by- shit, no, you're not saved at all.

-I WILL NOT GO DOWN LIKE THIS,- the monster howls, and howls, and /howls/, its voice ringing in your mind and seeming to slice right through to the other side. A much smaller radius of tentacles surrounds its main mass, which itself barely comprises a ten-foot tall mass of writhing, wounded, dried-up thorny vines.

(Cont.)

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>>45693074
A surge of power burns through your vision, setting your nerves alight. Like HELL you're underestimating this thing, now or forever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAqMj5s0Z8E

You shout out for Blanc as you hurtle forward, swinging your sword like a baseball bat. The first slice severs the tentacular mass from the ground, the second cut nearly jars your arms out of their sockets as your sword embeds deep, and the third, impossibly, knocks the monster up into the sky, its feelers flailing uselessly-

And suddenly, CPU White Heart is just /there/, waiting in the air like she'd been there all along.

"GOT IT!" Blanc roars, not even bothering with her maul. The slight girl cocks her fist back before letting loose with everything she's got- the monster almost disintegrates under her punch. With a sad little wail, what's left slams into the ground hard enough to crack it /again/, a spiderweb of fissures sending spikes of rock up into its body.

You catch one last glimpse of a disintegrating humanoid form, a kaleidoscope of plaid and white t-shirt and eyes everywhere and jeans and black hair and tentacles, before it shatters completely.

You wait, like, thirty seconds.

And THEN you're finally allowing yourself to relax, your breath coming out in ragged gasps as every muscle in your body seems to protest at the exact same time. Fucking /hell/. Fucking hell!

You stiffen when a shoulder comes up under your arm, but it's just Blanc. "Come on, up we get," she says. Despite still having the light-blue hair and those ridiculous sideburns, her calm, quiet voice sounds like her un-transformed self again.

Y'know what, Blanc counts as an authority figure, like a mayor or a manager, right? And you're a dwarf. So you're pretty much /obligated/ to bitch in her ear (or above her head, what with this height difference) to help yourself get over this shitty experience and not, say, fall to PTSD-ing pieces.

(Cont.)

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>>45693109
That was abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous, you grouse, working off steam. All we did was step out a fucking door, and we get hit with this shit- that's hands down the /worst/ encounter rate ever experienced by adventurer-kind!

Blanc favors you with a flat-eyed /stare/ and a frown that looks more like a pout.

... what? What's that for?

"You sound exactly like Neptune when you complain about things like that," she sighs.

You are very proud of yourself for only screaming internally.

"Right, how about you?" Blanc adds, pushing you back to your feet and turning to Shovel Knight; the younger adventurer's still sitting flat on her ass, looking stunned. "Are you holding up okay?"

She swallows heavily. "That..."

CPU White Heart frowns. "That?"

"That was very, very amazing," Shovel Knight whispers, jittering in place. "Two goddesses! Two goddesses working together! The teamwork, the camaraderie, the /trust/ built up between rivals! Eons of battling each other, turned into an ironclad bond culminating in a coupling-"

"Don't even start. That was /not/ a coupling skill," Blanc shoots back, her eyes narrowed. (Wait, it wasn't? But, wait, no, that's-) "Besides, this isn't CPU Purple Heart. It's Urist."

"What!?" Shovel Knight turns to face you, dispelling your train of thought as she climbs back to her feet and... sways a little woozily. "You! You have... grown?"

Heh. You clap her on the shoulder, noticing that you're actually taller than her like this. Okay, she clearly isn't all there. C'mon, let's get out of here before something else happens-

(Cont.)

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>>45693126
"Something else is happening."

You whirl to stare where Blanc is pointing- the cracks in the ground.

Where smaller tentacles are wriggling out, like some sped-up time-lapse video of plants growing.

-WAIFUS,- they hiss, summoned by the howling of their recently-murdered broodfather

Welp.

[ ] [NOPE NOPE NOPE] OKAY, SAY GOODBYE TO THE ISLAND, GUYS, WE'RE VAMOOSING BACK TOWARD YOUR FORTRESS.
[ ] [YAAAAAAAARGH] PURGE THEM, PURGE THEM ALL, BECAUSE THIS IS /BULLSHIT/ AND TYING UP LOOSE ENDS.
[ ] [NOW WE'RE NOPING WITH PORTALS] TIME TO PULL OUT THAT SHARICITE DOOR, BECAUSE ANY EXIT IS A BETTER EXIT THAN STAYING HERE, FUCK
[ ] [SUMMON HORRIFIC THINGS] HEY, WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SUMMON AS DWARF FORTRESS WHILE IN NEPTUNE'S BODY? BEST DISTRACTION, THAT'S WHAT
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>45693136
>[ ] [SUMMON HORRIFIC THINGS] HEY, WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SUMMON AS DWARF FORTRESS WHILE IN NEPTUNE'S BODY? BEST DISTRACTION, THAT'S WHAT

>>45693136
>[ ] [SUMMON HORRIFIC THINGS] HEY, WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SUMMON AS DWARF FORTRESS WHILE IN NEPTUNE'S BODY? BEST DISTRACTION, THAT'S WHAT
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY CAN GO WRONG?!

>>45693136
>[ ] [NOPE NOPE NOPE] OKAY, SAY GOODBYE TO THE ISLAND, GUYS, WE'RE VAMOOSING BACK TOWARD YOUR FORTRESS.
>[ ] [YAAAAAAAARGH] PURGE THEM, PURGE THEM ALL, BECAUSE THIS IS /BULLSHIT/ AND TYING UP LOOSE ENDS.
>[ ] [SUMMON HORRIFIC THINGS] HEY, WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SUMMON AS DWARF FORTRESS WHILE IN NEPTUNE'S BODY? BEST DISTRACTION, THAT'S WHAT
>[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>[ ] [JET] NEP JET

>>45693136
>[ ] [NOW WE'RE NOPING WITH PORTALS] TIME TO PULL OUT THAT SHARICITE DOOR, BECAUSE ANY EXIT IS A BETTER EXIT THAN STAYING HERE, FUCK

>>45693136
>[CAPTURE!?] Can we contain these things, including mind powers, to interrogate them?

>>45693136
>[SUMMON HORRIFIC THINGS] HEY, WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SUMMON AS DWARF FORTRESS WHILE IN NEPTUNE'S BODY? BEST DISTRACTION, THAT'S WHAT

WE HAVE ESTABLISHED THE LOCATION OF THE EVIL BIOME.

>>45693136
>[ ] [SUMMON HORRIFIC THINGS] HEY, WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SUMMON AS DWARF FORTRESS WHILE IN NEPTUNE'S BODY? BEST DISTRACTION, THAT'S WHAT
Good things only, I'm sure.

>>45693136
This is the most bait option here, Blorp, and everyone knows that. I bet you put it just to fuck with us. Anyway,
>[ ] [SUMMON HORRIFIC THINGS] HEY, WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SUMMON AS DWARF FORTRESS WHILE IN NEPTUNE'S BODY? BEST DISTRACTION, THAT'S WHAT

>>45693136
>[X] [YAAAAAAAARGH] PURGE THEM, PURGE THEM ALL, BECAUSE THIS IS /BULLSHIT/ AND TYING UP LOOSE ENDS.

>>45693174
>an entire necromancer's tower falls out of the sky and crushes half of them, raises the giblets, and uses them to butcher the other half.

>>45693136
>[ ] [SUMMON HORRIFIC THINGS] HEY, WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SUMMON AS DWARF FORTRESS WHILE IN NEPTUNE'S BODY? BEST DISTRACTION, THAT'S WHAT

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>>45693136
>[ ] [YAAAAAAAARGH] PURGE THEM, PURGE THEM ALL, BECAUSE THIS IS /BULLSHIT/ AND TYING UP LOOSE ENDS.
[ ] [SUMMON HORRIFIC THINGS] HEY, WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SUMMON AS DWARF FORTRESS WHILE IN NEPTUNE'S BODY? BEST DISTRACTION, THAT'S WHAT

>>45693136
>[ ] [SUMMON HORRIFIC THINGS] HEY, WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SUMMON AS DWARF FORTRESS WHILE IN NEPTUNE'S BODY? BEST DISTRACTION, THAT'S WHAT

Incoming Hidden Fun Stuff with an anime bend. break out the acidic stuff.

>>45693136
>[ ] [SUMMON HORRIFIC THINGS] HEY, WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SUMMON AS DWARF FORTRESS WHILE IN NEPTUNE'S BODY? BEST DISTRACTION, THAT'S WHAT

>>45693136
>[ ] [YAAAAAAAARGH] PURGE THEM, PURGE THEM ALL, BECAUSE THIS IS /BULLSHIT/ AND TYING UP LOOSE ENDS.

Combined with:

>[ ] [SUMMON HORRIFIC THINGS] HEY, WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SUMMON AS DWARF FORTRESS WHILE IN NEPTUNE'S BODY? BEST DISTRACTION, THAT'S WHAT

Can we summon a highly concentrated base solution? (Bases are way more efficient at dissolving things than acid. It is just harder to produce safely.)

>>45693136
>[X] [SUMMON HORRIFIC THINGS] HEY, WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SUMMON AS DWARF FORTRESS WHILE IN NEPTUNE'S BODY? BEST DISTRACTION, THAT'S WHAT
>[X] [NOPE NOPE NOPE] OKAY, SAY GOODBYE TO THE ISLAND, GUYS, WE'RE VAMOOSING BACK TOWARD YOUR FORTRESS.

Time for !!FUN!!

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Okay, looks like SUMMONING HORRIFIC THINGS is the winning vote, so-!

>Urist Twelfthbay Nep-Nep summons!
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
DC: Higher is better; Bonus: +15 for high Nep-Nep synchronization and circumstances!

>>45693192
A little from column A, a little from column B! Because anons raised it as a possibility I didn't consider, and I'm morbidly curious, and WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG

Rolled 12 + 15 (1d100 + 15)

>>45693470

Rolled 66 + 15 (1d100 + 15)

>>45693470

Rolled 79 + 15 (1d100 + 15)

>>45693470
Good things I'm sure.

Rolled 54 + 15 (1d100 + 15)

>>45693470

Rolled 18 + 15 (1d100 + 15)

>>45693470

Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>45693470
Waste this waste with pure Destruction.

>>45693483
well not bad.

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>>45693483
oh boy

WRITING

Should I ask for relevance or is that just troll feeding?

>>45693727
>ITT: 4chan's captcha only hampers honest anons.

>>45693804
copypasta

>>45693804
It is someone's retarded spambot report all instances of it you see

>>45693804
Seems like someone's been posting it in threads all across the board, just report and ignore!

>>45693804
That must be a bot, no self-respecting troll would post something THAT unrelated to the thread.

>>45693831
http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/filename/ningyo%20hime.jpg/

>>45693727
Did you perhaps have the wrong tab open anon? did you mean to respond to something in /v/?

>>45693859
I saw it in the space quest, it's spam

>>45693470
I'm so glad I finally convinced you guys to try this.

I attempted it last thread too, but it was too late and didn't catch on.

I feel the trick with write-ins is to catch the vote early and I'm fucking terrible at that.

>>45693537
> Every DC so far has been 80 with +15 bonus

> 79

> Summoning in Neps body.

I hope they're eggplants and we have an uncontrollable physical reaction.

Then we make booze out of them.

>>45694240
Anon, I hate to be nitpicky, but 79 + 15 = 94.

>>45693136
>>45693470
>[X] [SUMMON HORRIFIC THINGS]
>[X] [YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH]
>94 total

The scene in front of you takes on an almost nightmarish quality, unreal and impossible for your mind to grasp. Tentacles. /More/ tentacles, tiny tips wriggling out of the ground, nudging aside dirt and rocks and the blendered remains of their parent as they seem to swell and /grow/ as the rest of their wet, slimy lengths are revealed-

"These things /breed/?" Blanc hisses, hefting her hammer-maul.

"They... they do," Shovel Knight shoots back, wearily leaning on her shovel like a crutch. "I was caught by a smaller one, it was preparing to take me up here to show off-"

Your eyes refuse to focus, and you briefly look beyond the island you're on to stare in the distance. Armok help you, you're already homesick for your crappy little fortress in the middle of the hyperdimensional void, your one bastion of sanity in this goddess-forsaken place. You're past putting up any strong fronts: you just really want to get back there, see Mojang's smiling face, listen to her cheerful prattling, and-

- your fortress is right there. Your fortress is right there?? You almost rub your eyes before remembering what's been all over your hands, so you just blink rapidly before staring at that point in the distance. There's a lumpy little wall, barely one story tall and nothing but a blot of gray stone on brown dirt, but it's unmistakably your fortress.

Shit, that's right- Shovel Knight's last known location was supposed to orbit close to your fortress soon-ish, and she's right fucking here.

You /have/ to eradicate these, these faceless tentacles before they get any closer to your fort.

(Cont.)

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>>45694517
Quietly exhaling, you stick Neptune's sword point-first into the dirt and start reaching inside that... that place where all your power comes from, you don't fucking know. Immediately, an aura of some sort snaps into focus around you, probably haloing your head and causing your hair to waft gently in an invisible breeze.

Damn. These goddesses ARE over/flowing/ with power, you'd have to channel for thrice as long just to get this kinda fancy-pants aura going.

"Nep- /Urist/, what are you doing?" Blanc corrects herself, not looking at you.

(Under the circumstances, you can't blame her for that slip.) Something stupid and ill-advised, you growl back. You'll need some time to summon, so keep them off you until then.

... right, you're speaking to a goddess, and one that saved your ass, to boot. So you add a 'please.'

Blanc snorts. "Fine. Not like I got any better ideas. Not like we can run /that/ fast." She hefts her weapon and twirls it in her hands, some of her old bravado rekindling in her chest (such as it is). "Come on, you fuckers, c'mere if you're hard eno-"

And that is PRECISELY when your summoning efforts are rewarded by a surge of energy that yanks something straight out of your inventory, knocks you off your feet, and goes off like a fucking nuclear bomb. You grunt and throw an arm across your face, but even /then/, you can see the blinding purple light through your eyelids.

Something has broken within you- but it's a good feeling. Irrevocably broken, but not shattered. Surging wildly, but not unstable.

(Cont.)

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>>45694543
Soaring high, and freed from its cage.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_L81LiZtXxk

Your eyes clear just in time to see purple fire swirling among the massed tentacles, energy briefly coalescing into jagged bolts of lightning that burn everything they touch to ash. Divine thunder punctuates every lash with explosive cracks that seem to hit unsuspecting tentacles from range, and then it's back to spinning and slicing-

"What the hell did you /do/?" Blanc howls over the noise.

How the hell should you know!? This is NEPTUNE'S body! You might've broken something!

"MIGHT have!?"

Nnngh- blame later, purge now!

Between the three of you (four, if you count Shovel Knight's drunken stagger as any form of attack), you mop up the remaining tentacles without further incident. Whatever the hell you summoned doesn't give the poor bastards enough time to cast mindfuck spells over ANY of you; fuck, it's all you three can do to keep out of your personal thunderstorm's way, praying that it doesn't suddenly start thirsting for the blood of goddesses or shit like that.

Given your previous track record, you really, really wish you were joking.

The last tentacle pops under Blanc's boot with one last wail of -MY WAIFU-, and that's the end of that. Cautiously, you turn to face whatever the hell you just summoned, which is just sort of staring at the last dead tentacle.

... it's... a lot less fiery and lightning-y and brimstone-y, now that you're looking at it. Even as you watch, the divine energy coalesces further, like it's gaining more control over itself. The outline of your summon quickly becomes something humanoid, raging holy fire smoothing out into long hair- and hell, it's becoming recognizably /feminine/, all long legs and gentle curves.

A feeling of dread creeps over you, slides down your spine, and nestles itself right down in the pit of your stomach, weighing it down like the heavy fatass it is.

(Cont.)

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>>45694559
"Urist," Blanc growls hoarsely, eyes as wide as dinner plates. "/Urist/."

Mmhmm?

"Please tell me you did not just summon a fucking goddess."

Still indistinct, still wavering around the edges, the fire coalesces further into something vaguely resembling a slender girl with long, purple hair.

... if it'll make her feel better, then no. No, you did not just summon a fucking goddess who's, like, the splitting image of Neptune.

Hearing your voice, the girl-shaped- fire-shaped?- the fire girl turns toward you, blinking great big innocently blue glowing eyes, and goddammit she'd better not say what you THINK she's going to say-

"Are... are you my big sister?" she asks.

Dead, frozen silence.

"That is totally a coupling skill," Shovel Knight whispers hoarsely before sliding to the ground in an unconscious heap.

[TO BE CONTINUED NEXT THREAD]

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>>45694578
>This is Nepgear
WELP

>>45694578
NEPNEP

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>>45694578
>Summoned Nepgear
Fuck yes!

>>45694578
more like....Mom?
>when Mojang hears about this

>>45694578
I wanna know what would have happened if we nat 100'd that.

Also, good end!

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>>45694578
Yes. This is going to be good.

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How long until Nepgear starts the murder?

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Okay! 2:30 am. Thread's ended!

Next thread's gonna be... let's say Wednesday, 3/2, probably at 9-ish pm EST, because I need a little time because my notes are currently useless BECAUSE IT WAS INEVITABLE.

Updates will be at twitter.com/BlorpQuest, questions can go here or ask.fm/BlorpQuest (which I will get before next time!).

Thanks for participating, guys; see you all next time! Hopefully, the frenetic pace of the thread will relax a bit so it's not wall-to-wall plot twist happenings depending on the whims of the dice god, why this.

>>45694637
I think she already did as her first act. If we count the extermination of that as murder.

>>45694651
Wellllll Dice gonna dice Blorp. You should have learned this from Ogre Quest.

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>>45694651
What would we have summoned if it was a nat 100? A nat 1?

>>45694671
I mean the murder on things shaped like people.

>>45694651
Blorp! Blorp! April 1st is coming up fast.
Will you give us a session of Hyperdimension Boss Bawss Quest for April Fools?

>>45694695
> Nat 100 would have been ourselves, Neptune in Urists body.

> Nat 1 would have been the same thing.

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>>45694695
Come on anon. Does this look like the face of a murderer?

>>45694620
If the highest total roll had been under a certain threshold, you would've been teased with a silent ghostly summon that looked sliiightly like Nepgear, if you squinted.

If the highest total roll had been 100 or over, Nepgear would be completely solid, in less of a trance, and basically a permanent party member.

The highest roll as-is was VERY high, and hit a strange sweet spot: Nepgear's here, and she's LUCID, but her existence isn't quiiite completely stable.

GONNA HAVE TO WORK FOR YOUR LITTLE NEP SISTER

>>45694699
I rather have him be focused on Hyperdimension Dwarf Fortress Quest (And his RL) than on some April first joke.

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>>45694727
Yes.

>>45694695
>>45694620
OH RIGHT. Nat 1.

Nepgear would be solid, and she would be lucid, and she would be permanent.

She would also have been from the worst possible non-canon parallel dimension I can cook up.

You would've gained a new recurring boss fight, whenever she manages to hunt you down.

>>45694699
Probably not, sadly!

>>45694787
Aw. But Ogres.

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>>45694768
Murdergear?

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>>45694733
>GONNA HAVE TO WORK FOR YOUR LITTLE NEP SISTER
A CHALLENGE I WILLINGLY ACCEPT.

WE'LL MAKE A DWARF OUT OF YOU YET, NEPGEAR.

>>45694733
So, to get Uni we have to do the same thing to Noire?

Just want to see the interaction between Uni and Doomgirl (And Duchess Nukem and Serious Sammy/Hellfire/Netrisca.)

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>>45694799
>But Ogres.

EXACTLY. The moment I let slip the dice of ogres, there'll be no putting Pandora back in its box, anon.

>>45694804
Something like that!

>>45694812
DOES SHE WANT TO BE A DWARF, THOUGH

THINK HARD ABOUT THIS

>>45694817
... this whole thing with Neptune is a strange case, and I REALLY don't think it's in anyone's best interests to try and reproduce a one-off weird situation with any of the other goddesses! Like Noire.

Especially Noire.

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>>45694866
But if we get Uni, /u/ things happen.

>>45694866
>DOES SHE WANT TO BE A DWARF, THOUGH
>THINK HARD ABOUT THIS
I mean, I'm fairly certain big sis Urist would notice Nepgear more than Neptune really ever did. That count for something.

...I wonder how Vert would act if/when she finds out we could summon a little sister goddess.

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>>45694939
She'd put out huge bounties on shareite to try to replicate what we did.

>>45694866
She's already sort of a dwarf. It's not like she'd get a beard or anything, she'd just lose half her height.

>>45694882
So, "Force on Force Wargame" would happen?

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>>45694882
I'M REASONABLY SURE /u/-ISH THINGS ARE HAPPENING ANYWAY, ANON

Even if they're less blatant, and

uh

On second thought, you have something there.

>>45694939
>>45694970
>Nepgear and Neptune
>Nepgear sees Urist first in Neptune's body
>Nepgear first sees Neptune acting like a cranky hardbitten alcoholic dwarf
I just now realized we might fuck up Nepgear's first impression of her big sister, and that I should be planning for the implications of that.

oh, BOY.

>Vert
OH, GOD

>>45694967
I have the feeling she'd really try and make a sweet deal with us to be her little sister. Especially if Nepgear makes it through this and Urist is seen to her as big sister.

Then Urist would have a goddess as a big sis and another as a little sis.

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>>45695023
What would it take to summon Plutia?

>>45695023
>might

There's no question we're going to screw it up.

Although it's not like Neptune is any better than Urist.

>>45695048
10 Natural 1s at summoning in a row.

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>>45695064

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>>45695023
I'm not sure Nepgear's first impression of Neptune herself would be all that great even if it was her back in her body.

>>45694768
>OH RIGHT. Nat 1.
>Nepgear would be solid, and she would be lucid, and she would be permanent.
>She would also have been from the worst possible non-canon parallel dimension I can cook up.
>You would've gained a new recurring boss fight, whenever she manages to hunt you down.

So, a bland Villain which motivations is as bland as the ones of modern Final Fantasy Villains and Protagonists?

>>45695023
Urist is where her love of crazy robots comes from

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>>45695047
>Urist, Neptune's newest little sister

It would have to be a VERY sweet deal to get Urist to agree to that! And on top of, that, technically, she already has ties with Lowee, even if it's just contractual!

>>45695064
>>45695071
Actually, that wouldn't be all that far off, because of the way it's set up here.

Seriously.

>>45695107
... admittedly, very true!

>>45695178
>mfw it hits me

>>45695360
mfw Urist tells her the story of that one dwarf whose whole body was sutured with adamantine thread and became invincible

I think nepgear will perform urists company even after swapping back.

>>45694733
>GONNA HAVE TO WORK FOR YOUR LITTLE NEP SISTER
Gonna have to work to tell her no and get back in the inventory

There's something I don't get. All these "nameless protag" tentacle monsters are technically still part of their respective VN/harem vg representations, right?

What the FUCK did Arfoire do to them to extract these guys?

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WHEN DO WE MEET IRIS HEART?

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>>45695388
>Urist, Neptune's newest little sister
Was actually referring to Vert for the older goddess sister.

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>>45697772
Try to get on her good side.

>>45697772
Rest assured, there's no way Blorp would introduce Iris Heart. he doesn't swing that way.

>>45694578
>"Are... are you my big sister?" she asks.
>not "Are you my mommy?"
YOU HAD ONE JOB
ONE JOB

>>45697837
already mentioned >>45694618

>>45695023
Is it a formatted version of Nepgear, or did Urist just dragged Nepgear from another dimension?

>>45697772
spankfag no please go and stay go

So, let me recap the situation.
-Neptune is lost in development hell, inside Urist's body, somehow locked in the dwarf's fortress,
-Noire is missing,
-Vert has her country locked down,
-Blanc is with us in development hell, and is trying to hide the fact she's bugged and always in HDD form,
-Urist is in Neptune's body, near Blanc,

-Shovel Knight is with us, and lost her armour,
-Doom is with Neptune (PANIC),
-Mojang is with Doom who is with Neptune (!PANIC!),
-Arfoire is somewhere out there,
-development hell is an extremely hostile land, so any minute spent out there put us all in danger.

So, except recovering Neptune and hopefully our body, what's the plan? Stay around to investigate, or return to Lowee?

>>45697919
There's probably plenty of adventurers still lost in the Void, so whatever happens, the Fort is staying as an advance base.

If we reapply the portal there(whether or not we somehow paint over the images), we'd need to trap the whole thing to blow to prevent Arfoire from getting her hands on it.

First and most important business is to get Neptune back to gamindustri. Blanc is more vulnerable here, but she NEEDS a lead on regaining her powers. Or just ignoring it by getting a massive hunk of sharicite and stacking MORE power on top of what she has now, potentially destabilizing the balance if she ever regains her "normal" powers.

Next is confirming Rokko and Estelle's status, I suppose. And XCOM. And whatever else she was warning us about. Which probably means that Rokko and Estelle will be the ones joining Blanc out here in the void. Fun.

>>45697982
Oh, right, it's the Void, not development hell.

If Urist engraves sharicite, can that augment the ore's powers and thus Blanc's? I think of the diamonds here, who are a lot more valuable once they're properly cut.

>>45698059
that's been specifically been stated to be the most suicidal thing to try, given that even Blanc herself ran away when first trying out the portal.

and doing that wouldn't even augment Blanc, it's linked to the fort right now. Are you referring to her hammer, perhaps?

>>45698074
You think if Nepgear touches the sharicite back in the fort, that would fully stabilize her?

>>45698074
Dunno, Diablo and its ripoffs use a lot of gems to put in sockets, and gameindustri is about video games, so...

>>45697772
As soon as Urist tries to get on N-chan and get horrified by the lewd pictures of CPUs spanking each others.

And then Neptune arrives, and sends the pictures to Noire and Blanc per mail and laughs as they're both disgusted.

>>45698161
fuck if I know, I've played neither neptunia nor DF

I mean, uh, there might be more pressing priorities than stabilizing Nepgear. Unless it grounds her "existence" to the Fort and makes her a part of it as an embark? Is Urist stealing Nep's sister away from her?

.....come to think of it, shouldn't we have contacted Histoire while we were in gamindustri?

>>45698175
seriously, what are you even talking about? Could you explain the process step by step?

>>45698198
Simply put, since most sharicite parts are really small, maybe Urist can use her craftmanship to cut them and improve them.

>>45698210
First of all
>cutting sharicite
>the last person who tried this literally exploded
the only reason the portal works right now is goddess fuckery working with DF powers instead of against.

>most sharicite parts are really small
and the only one we have on hand is the rather HUGE piece on the Fort. And the LAST one we had before that was fist sized, far larger than something you can just slot into a weapon. If DF even allows for that sort of thing as something that boosts stats.

>>45698239
Then you should read the quest again, newfriend, because
>the last person who tried this literally exploded
No, Urist is still around, she isn't in pieces, and it's explained as it being a fey mood rather than "goddess fuckery".

>>45698259
I think you should take your own advice.

>>45698302
>"n-n-n-no u"
I think we're done here, mate. You clearly lost.

>>45695048
>>45697772
I'm going to ask for royalties if you people keep reposting my pictures without crediting me as "The Magnificent and Handsome One that will lead us scrubs to a new Golden Age".

Friendly reminder that we left alone :
- a sawy mememaster in a buggy body that can turn critters into forgotten beasts and creates catmaggedons,
- an insane psychotic grandma in a rocket-propelled wheelchair that may or may not have PTSD,
- a normal girl that explodes when under stress, like for example from getting near an insane PTSD veteran used to fight demons or a buggy semi-goddess.

Either the fortress will be in ruins, or they'll have fixed everything by the time we're back.

>>45699588
>A small section of the fortress is built entirely of obsidian, and-are those traces of adamantium?

>>45699690
>obsidian
>there's a game development studio called Obsidian
OH NO
WE MUST HURRY DOUBLETIME

>>45697551
This right here is a very good question that should be kept in mind.

>>45697784
Oh!

Well, shit, then that's Vert's Perfect Communication 1000% Completion Best End right there, isn't it.

>>45698239
>>45698259
Actually, you're both right!

As a material, sharicite isn't a big old ticking time bomb, nor is it particularly unstable, otherwise goddesses wouldn't keep them smack-dab in the middle of population centers and their own churches. It's just notoriously resistant to being fucked with; it's crystallized belief given physical form through some poorly-understood divine process, and it provides constant unwavering incomprehensible power to only a few types of chosen beings.

The last few adventurers who 1) tried cutting/shaping/etc and/or 2) imbibing/absorbing/consuming sharicite discovered that sharicite reacts to tomfoolery by unleashing, like, all its incomprehensible energy in one go. Urist is the one exception, so she technically IS the "last adventurer who tried this."

Granted, the only reason it worked for Urist (ostensibly under her own power) is because for all that she's glitched and unstable and fucked up in the head, Dwarf Fortress is fundamentally broken in some very crucial ways, and doesn't obey certain ironclad rules.

Hope that helps.

>>45700688
So basically, rather than cutting the sharicite, Urist hacked it.

Also, answer >>45697772 please. Not Plutia, but Iris Heart.

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>>45700688
>Well, shit, then that's Vert's Perfect Communication 1000% Completion Best End right there, isn't it.

Probably.

>>45700688
>spoiler
Don't let her Big Sisters hear anyone say that

>>45700728
Basically, yeah!

Regarding Iris Heart (I mean, you can't get one without the other, right?), no plans currently!

Granted, I said that for Nepgear as well, so take that as you will.

>>45700767
... come to think of it, Urist (like most other PC-based adventurers) does have more of an affinity for Leanbox, so it wouldn't be as farfetched as it sounds!

Of course, it would depend on Vert not losing her spaghetti or CHARISMA BREAKing while trying to sell the idea to Urist.

>>45700857
don't let spankfag in
hell ruin everything

>>45700857
I'm fairly certain that if Vert includes something pertaining to beer and/or a place for Urist to have her fort, Urist might do it

>>45700888
How rude, I don't ruin things, I improve them.

>>45700857
I sometimes make pictures that aren't about spanking, you'll have to tell me if you want something.
No drawing however.

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What the goodness, look at the time!

PANTHEOCIDE O'CLOCK! MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE DAY!

>>45701146
Spankfag needs to make a picture of Neptune spanking some sense in a genocidal Nepgear.

>>45697551
Or worse, if she could extract male protags (even as the formless tentacled demons they actually are) what's stopping her from extracing other male characters and keeping them as males?
The rules of the universe forbid that. She's going to destabilize existance itself.

>>45700979
>you'll have to tell me if you want something.
Something like >>45694746 but with plenty more shibari on Rom

>>45697551
Dunno, but I'm honestly very worried about that.

If Arfoire can extract male (somehow) main characters, maybe she can extract characters from the game that aren't the protag.
Can you imagine Gwyn, the Marker, or the Orphan of Kos in gameindustri? They would totally destroy the opposition.

DON'T BE LATE BLORP

>>45699588
Good thing dorf walls are indestructible.

>>45703436
Does anyone know how to operate the drawbridge?

Do the girls need to eat?
Won't Doom try to eat Mojang if she's starving?

>>45703464
Mojang probably does.

Mojang can likely also summon edible minecraft critters.

>>45703510
And Doomgirl will very appreciate pigs that explode into nicely cut chunks of bacon when you punch them, no doubt.

>>45703534
And Doomgirl will probably lock Nepturist somewhere.