File: some sort of nep-like thing.png (582 KB, 595x1587)

582 KB PNG

>>45768780
"Are you my big sister?" the flame-wreathed silhouette asks again, blue innocent eyes sparkling mercilessly at you. Armok help you, she's almost the spitting image of Neptune, just with longer hair and far fewer wacky memes.

You shoot a wild-eyed glance at Blanc and Shovel Knight, hoping for help. No such luck- the goddess of all things Nintendo answers your implied SOS with nothing more than a shrug, and the knight is nearly unconscious from exhaustion. Sweating bullets, you turn back to the new goddess and wordlessly shake your head, braids whipping back and forth.

"Oh." The long-haired girl frowns briefly, tilting her head in thought. She suddenly claps her hands together, and her eyes brighten back up. "Then are you my mommy?"

What the /hell/.

[ ] [YES] You know what? Sure, let's just go with that, and hash it out later.
[ ] [NO] Emphatically not, because you don't want her imprinting on you.
[ ] [IT'S COMPLICATED] ... you'll tell her when you get back to your fort and give Neptune the good(?) news.
[ ] [FULL DISCLOSURE] Fuck it, you're not leaving any room for wacky antics caused by misunderstandings. Dump it all on her!
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>45768796
>[x] [IT'S COMPLICATED] ... you'll tell her when you get back to your fort and give Neptune the good(?) news.

>>45768796
>[X] [FULL DISCLOSURE] Fuck it, you're not leaving any room for wacky antics caused by misunderstandings. Dump it all on her!
But let's tell her as we move towards the Fort, yes?

>>45768796
Wait, Blorp. . .
If she came about by Neptune's powers, she's Neptune's daughter, right?
Then, since Urist was in Neptune to make her, is Urist the father?

I get the feeling fathering a child while still a moe anime girl is a very dwarfy thing to do.

File: image.png (291 KB, 511x512)

291 KB PNG

>>45768796
>[ ] [IT'S COMPLICATED] ... you'll tell her when you get back to your fort and give Neptune the good(?) news.

Shovel Knight needs a safe place to rest first.

Also
>"Oh." The long-haired girl frowns briefly, tilting her head in thought. She suddenly claps her hands together, and her eyes brighten back up. "Then are you my mommy?"
We are going to have a field day when we get back home.

>>45768796
>[ ] [IT'S COMPLICATED] ... you'll tell her when you get back to your fort and give Neptune the good(?) news.

>>45768796
>[X] [IT'S COMPLICATED] ... you'll tell her when you get back to your fort and give Neptune the good(?) news.

>>45768796
>[x] [IT'S COMPLICATED] ... you'll tell her when you get back to your fort and give Neptune the good(?) news.
Best way to set up for spilling all the pasta

>>45768796
>[x] [IT'S COMPLICATED] ... you'll tell her when you get back to your fort and give Neptune the good(?) news.
You see, it involves storks, or alternatively bees and flowers...

File: 1456942407971.jpg (12 KB, 200x396)

12 KB JPG

>>45768841
... oh.

Oh god.

>>45768877
This is me, actually leaning toward >>45768824
now that I think on it.
>[ ] Explain on the way!

>>45768796
>[x] [YES] You know what? Sure, let's just go with that, and hash it out later.

...I'm sorry. I have to. Urist is Mom, and Gear has all kinds of Aunties now.

>[x] [IT'S COMPLICATED] ... you'll tell her when you get back to your fort and give Neptune the good(?) news.

>>45768796
[x] [IT'S COMPLICATED] ... you'll tell her when you get back to your fort and give Neptune the good(?) news.

>>45768796
>[ ] [FULL DISCLOSURE] Fuck it, you're not leaving any room for wacky antics caused by misunderstandings. Dump it all on her!

This could go nicely or poorly, but at least it is the best option.

>>45768892
It's also immaculate conception, technically.

>>45768892
>Long winded explanation from Urist explaining that she is not her mother exactly.
>"...So are you my daddy?"

File: image.jpg (63 KB, 525x578)

63 KB JPG

>>45768841
I think it's the reverse.

Neptune is the dad cause her raw power is what gave Urist's summoning (aka birth) the things it needed for Nepgear herself.

...Probably.

>>45768981
It's from Neptunes body, and Urist spawned her creation. Urist is the paternal end of things.

>>45768917
So. . . The Messiah came from the immaculate conception of a Goddess and a Beekeeper?

Sounds about right.

>>45768981
But Urist was the one who went all deep into Neptune. While she was unconscious, too.

Granted, Neptune was also in Urist. Who knows, when we get back to the Fort maybe she'll have fathered some sort of Ancient Pudding Slime for us to raise.

File: Touhou - Let's Play Resid(...).jpg (2.81 MB, 1968x2780)

2.81 MB JPG

Even though I kind of found it enjoyable that the Tentacle monster was Vermin known as Mac no Eyes, harem protagonist, I hoped for a different tentacle monster.

>>45768824
But then we have to tell it twice when we tell Neptune about it, just wait and tell them both at the same time.

>>45769010
>Ancient Pudding Slime for us to raise.
Can we keep Nepgear while she gets the pudding creature then? I feel like Neptune would accept that trade.

File: 1454268520504.jpg (67 KB, 400x400)

67 KB JPG

Okay, looks like [X] [IT'S COMPLICATED] takes the vote; writing!

I never thought I would accidentally find myself writing about immaculate conception. Or accidental parenthood. Or bear witness to a debate about which of these characters is the father and which is the mother.

>>45769116
Could be worse. Imagine throwing ogres into the mix.

>>45769116
Questing mang

Not even once

>>45769116
Well, isn't it technically more like Mitosis with the Goddesses and their CPU Kandidates? Aka, Asexual reproduction.

>>45769116
/tg/ is a wonderful place.

I feel at the end of this, Neptune will proclaim loudly that Nepgear has two moms via the Power of Forbidden Love!

>>45769116
I want Nepgear to cuddle with Urist and fall asleep on her lap while murmuring 'Mommy,' all while Estelle, Rokko, and Mojang look on while making 'squee' noises. Is that so wrong?

>>45769116
>accidentally
Suuuuuure it was, Blorp.

It was preordained.

Oh, wait, shit, if we're the dad, we have to pay Child Support, don't we? Damnit, so much for making mad cash off any future Sharicite we find.

This is why you're careful when you go so deep in the cute, ditzy ones.

File: image.png (297 KB, 457x720)

297 KB PNG

>>45769194
No. I kinda want it too.

>>45769200
That's why we should be the mom. Then Neptune pays us while we watch over Nepgear.

>>45769116
Is it even important to know which one is mother and which one is father in this Universe? (In reality it is for people who care more for childerns money and their personal needs instead of the needs of the child, but we are in Anime cutesy Dimension.)

>>45769213
To be clear, I want this to happen with Urist back in her original body. Maybe Nepgear tries to use the mass of braids as a blanket.

>>45769237
That be cute. And of course back in Urist's body. Which means Nepgear be bigger than Urist.
>NPC: Hello there! Say miss, are you out with your little sister today?
>Nepgear: Nope. She's my mom!
>Urist consumes alcohol rapidly.

Think Nepgear would try to braid her hair like Urist's at least once?

>>45769296
Urist might just argue at being a father in that case, it's the only point of masculinity she can claim.

>>45769230
I think Urist would identify paternal. Gruff, emotionally detached, drinks, doesn't deal too much with the kid besides discipline and such.

Plus, then she can be overprotective and end up wrapped around her daughter's finger.

>>45769326

But Urist doesn't care about masculinity, she cares about Dorfiness.

Just because Dorf women are more manly than the men of any other race doesn't mean she doesn't see herself as a woman.

>>45769326
>>45769346
Urist doesn't really care about that though, she doesn't like being a little girl yeah, but it's the little beardless part she hates.

>>45769377
I agree. Urist wants recognition as a dwarf. Not as a man. She's never indicated she dislikes being a girl. Only in being a MOE ANIME GIRL.

>>45769377
We need a drawfag to draw a family portrait of Urist, Neptune, and Nepgear, with Urist having a poorly drawn beard over the top of the picture.

>>45769394
Fine, we'll just have to find How Do You Do It, and ask her. Unless Blanc wants to explain the Birdos and Bee 52s to us.

>>45769377
But she's always on about missing a beard and-

Wait.

Dorf women have beards, don't they? Dammit.

>>45769424
Urist wants a feminine beard.

Note: Telling the difference between a masculine and feminine beard is impossible for non-dwarves

>>45769441
Aren't Mutton chops a female beard?

>>45769468
No, they're just castrated.

>>45769468
Varies by style, I suppose. I prefer somewhat long sideburns, myself.

>>45769418

>poorly drawn beard
>not one drawn by Nepgear in an effort to make her Dadmom happy

>>45769544
Who else would DRAW it?
Urist would have engraved it into the picture.

>>45769577
>Who else would DRAW it?
Scribblenauts-Chan.

>>45768796
>Some kind of Nep battle machine

Mmmmwell, you know, when you think about it, are we all not the children of Armok?

>Summoning Nepgear
>Not summoning Nepugya
https://youtu.be/JuF8APno4zo?t=1m36s

>>45769785
>Nepugya
Yes this is an oversight. Let's summon again!

File: wat.jpg (7 KB, 208x199)

7 KB JPG

>>45768796
>[X] [IT'S COMPLICATED]

PANIC surges through your veins at that innocent glittery-eyed question, because holy fucking hell with a bumblebee on top, you're too young to be a parent! You're not even married! And you /certainly/ didn't spend a night in the same bed as anyone else, you've been REALLY FUCKING careful about that-

You manage to calm yourself down; looking around in wild-eyed terror might cause some distress, and that's the absolute last thing you want when you're dealing with a newborn goddess. Seriously, you've been through this song-and-dance once before with Mojang, back when she wandered in from the Gamindustri Graveyard as a newly spawned adventurer. You walked her through her new life, dealt with all sorts of uncomfortable questions, and Mojang turned out okay!

... well, aside from the cat-related trauma and/or fetish. And the rampant exploding. And how she apparently can't put on pants. Seriously, you've spent inordinate amounts of time trying to fix Mojang's wardrobe, but she always, always just wears a big goddamned hoodie and kneesocks and calls it a day-

Anyway, as long as you just do your level best to ignore all the horrific, unanswerable questions of parentage, you'll survive with at least 40% of your sanity intact.

You clear your throat and square your shoulders, look the new goddess in the eye, and proceed to deflect the question as hard as you fucking can. Look, this entire place was just filled with dangerous monsters, and there's no telling what else is out here. You'll answer her questions when you're all safe and sound inside your fortress. Deal?

(Cont.)

File: 1446995967112.jpg (55 KB, 503x518)

55 KB JPG

>>45769820
"You have a fortress!?" The new goddess nods rapidly, staring at you like she's drinking in every single word you say and believing it wholeheartedly. You fervently pray that isn't hero worship twinkling in that intense gaze. "Okay, I'll wait until... until we're home!"

... nnghk. You avert your eyes; that innocent naivety is nothing short of blinding.

>Urist Twelfthbay, Beekeeper: I have improved my dodging. That was not satisfying.

"Huh? Did you say something?"

N-Nothing! Nothing at all!!

In no time at all, your ragtag group is on the move; you and Blanc (who hasn't spoken a word in some time) are supporting Shovel Knight, while mini!Nep walks alongside, shooting you curious glances every now and then. The new goddess had eagerly offered to help, before you pointed out that she's still kinda made of fire.

You then had to explain that fire is bad, and THEN you had to go on to tell her why she appears to be the exception.

Jeez. When you hand this problem over to Neptune, she's gonna have her hands full, isn't she.

To take your mind off all the terrible things you desperately don't want to think about, you take another look around. As always, the hyperdimensional void's "sky" is stunningly beautiful, a picturesque nighttime wonderland filled with distant stars and all sorts of galactic phenomena- or it /would/ be, if the damn stars would just stay still.

As it is, the void is a whirling dervish of a kaleidoscope, even though all the floating islands around you are moving a lot, lot slower. Which means you're all moving at roughly the same speeds, and in the same rough direction. It's like you and everything else in sight are all orbiting around some distant, all-powerful center of gravity, or however all that astronomy mumbo-jumbo works.

... and all that complicated shit is more comforting- and makes MORE sense- than you suddenly spawning a goddess from out of nowhere.

Seriously, what the hell.

(Cont.)

File: 1432165206309.png (175 KB, 348x312)

175 KB PNG

>>45769839
A few short hops across the void later, and you're approaching your hyperdimensional fotress, Hyperdimension (which desperately needs a better name). A quick glance at Therapist tells you that Mojang's right at home where you left her, while Doomgirl, Tiff, and Thravar (and Neptune, inside "Urist") appear to have made it unscathed.

'Course, you didn't need Therapist to tell you that much, because there's a big, smoking, hole-filled hollow asteroid embedded in the side of your fortress's island. Carp, your void shark (okay, "abyssal") is grazing on the front lawn, still tethered to the remains of your ill-fated ride.

Sensibly, Mojang appears to have closed the drawbridge to your fortress- and speak of the devil.

"Stop right there!" Mojang's voice rings out from somewhere inside. "I-I don't know who you are, but! Um! Friend or foe? If you're not good, then you'll be punished by, by a lot of guns!"

You frown. Her voice sounds... awfully frazzled. And even with your body-swapping situation as it is, she should be able to identify two of Gamindustri's four goddesses by sight alone.

Shit. If she's this out of it, getting in might be a little difficult. What the hell happened?

[ ] [CALL OUT] C'mon, Mojang, you know who we are. This's Urist, just... uh, it's a long story, alright?
[ ] [LET BLANC ANSWER] Bonafide goddess right here. With the current situation as it is, it'll save some time. You can explain once you're in.
[ ] [NEPTUNE] Call for Tiff or Doomgirl. Better yet, call for /Neptune/, because she of all people can fucking vouch for you guys.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>45769855
>[ ] [CALL OUT] C'mon, Mojang, you know who we are. This's Urist, just... uh, it's a long story, alright?
Be extra surly just to prove it.

>Urist Twelfthbay, Beekeeper: I have improved my dodging. That was not satisfying.
She's regressing

>>45769855
>[X] [LET BLANC ANSWER] Bonafide goddess right here. With the current situation as it is, it'll save some time. You can explain once you're in.
If we introduce ourselves as Urist we could get blown the fuck out because lel Arfoire can change into whatever she fucking wants to

>>45769855
>[ ] [WRITE-IN]
"I'm Urist, wearing a Neptune suit." Then proceed to tell her something only Urist would know.

>>45769855
>[X] [WRITE-IN] "Friends! Definitely Friends!"

>>45769855
>[ ] [LET BLANC ANSWER] Bonafide goddess right here. With the current situation as it is, it'll save some time. You can explain once you're in.

Blanc, Goddess of Lowee, and, um. Company.

[X] [NEPTUNE] Call for Tiff or Doomgirl. Better yet, call for /Neptune/, because she of all people can fucking vouch for you guys.

>>45769855
>[ ] [LET BLANC ANSWER] Bonafide goddess right here. With the current situation as it is, it'll save some time. You can explain once you're in.

Let's face it, Majong wouldn't recognise us as NepEX and Neptune would probably just joke around. (Or Arfoire has taken over our body or our body is in coma.)

>>45769855
>[x] [CALL OUT] C'mon, Mojang, you know who we are. This's Urist, just... uh, it's a long story, alright?
This is definitely not a trick to make you open the fortress door, okay?

>>45769855
>[X] [LET BLANC ANSWER] Bonafide goddess right here. With the current situation as it is, it'll save some time. You can explain once you're in.
I doubt Mojang will believe we're Urist. Especially if Neptune's been pretending she's Urist and everything is fine.

>>45769939
God, as if shapeshifting wasn't bad enough. Now we have to deal with bodyswapping shapeshifters.

>>45769962
>Neptune's been pretending she's Urist and everything is fine.

So, if Urist has been acting hugely out of character and making her worried and paranoid?

I wonder if each Gamindustri nation is ruled by THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE, meaning it may actually be deicide o'clock.

Also, Neptune at this point is nowhere near ready to be a big sister. Then again, she wasn't in mk2/RB2 either.

>>45769820
>Seriously, you've spent inordinate amounts of time trying to fix Mojang's wardrobe, but she always, always just wears a big goddamned hoodie and kneesocks and calls it a day-
Tell me she at least puts on spats?

File: Lilium_longiflorum_(Easte(...).jpg (2.12 MB, 2256x2256)

2.12 MB JPG

>>45769855
>Her voice sounds... awfully frazzled.

Who wants to bet what Neptune did to her. (Or is currently doing to Mojang)

>>45770011

She's the personification of Minecraft with multiple Creeper traits trapped inside a Dwarf Fortress.

There was a catsplosion.

File: Grin Neptunia.png (610 KB, 588x766)

610 KB PNG

>>45770011
A thorough and comprehensive nepping.

We need more bees.

[X] [Cat Impression]
literally no better way to prove we're urist

>>45770132
>[X] [Cat Impression]
>Purple Hear doing a cat impression
I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE

>>45770000
Spats stands for sport pants. Do the math.

>>45770187
Are you implying she doesn't even wear panties?

>>45770000
Maybe she is nopan?

File: Spoiler Image (220 KB, 500x281)

220 KB PNG

Right, the consensus is [X] [LET BLANC HANDLE IT]; time to put the fate of the party into an ailing pint-sized goddess's hands! With Purple Heart cat impressions as a backup.

>all this talk of Nepgear's great big happy family
pic related

>>45770000
After looking at the pictures of Creepergirl that I've been using to represent Mojang, she's... well, she's dressed similarly to Neptune, I guess?

>>45770199
>>45770201
THIS IS PATENTLY FALSE, HOWEVER.

File: 2015-10-04-184338.jpg (182 KB, 960x544)

182 KB JPG

>>45770221
...So what kind of panties does she wear?

>>45770284
Creeper panties

Why is this even a question?

>>45770305
Mustvlead to explosive accicdents.

>>45770305
Nah. Cat ones to keep her calm(ish)

>>45770349
Must lead. Damn phone.

>>45770352
30 seconds in and the narrator goes into insane troll logic? Nope, not worth finishing.

>>45770352
Are you retarded?

File: Spoiler Image (190 KB, 550x550)

190 KB PNG

I sure hope we don't screw up getting our body back.

>>45770598
I say we just run up to Neptune and headbutt her. Best plan.

>>45770669
If we roll high enough, it just might work!

Which means it has absolutely no hope of working.

>>45770681
But what if it were a one in a million chance?

>>45770681

>Proceeding to roll a 100 wenn the roll is made if that works.

File: White_Heart.png (186 KB, 311x839)

186 KB PNG

>>45769855
>[X] [LET BLANC ANSWER]

Force of habit very nearly makes you shout right back to Mojang, but you're rudely interrupted by a kick to the back of your shin. C'mon, really?? What the f-

"Hold it," Blanc cuts in, slowly letting her end of Shovel Knight slide to the floor. "Let me handle this."

But-!

The goddess of all things Nintendo sighs, working out a kink in her neck. "You're not U-... who you think you are right now, remember?" she continues calmly, shooting the confused mini-Nep a quick glance. "You'll only convince your friend up there. Right now, I'm the one who's most qualified to convince her to let us in."

Shovel Knight mumbles something incomprehensible.

"No, you should be resting."

Mini-Nep tentatively raises her hand.

"You were literally /just born/."

Mini-Nep quietly lowers her hand, biting her lip and staring down at her feet. While you're pat the new goddess on the shoulder in what you hope is an encouraging manner, Blanc unsummons her hammer and steps forward, calm and composed and EXTREMELY low-energy. Belatedly, you hope Mojang won't take Blanc's inability to transform back into civvie mode as some sort of implicit threat or anything.

"Yo," she deadpans, raising a hand in greeting.

... and then you realize that that's, like, the least of your worries right now.

"I'm Blanc, aka CPU White Heart, and I'm the patron goddess of Lowee. My short-term and long-term goals are to break Arfoire over my knee. This right here is /technically/ Neptune," Blanc continues, patting you on the shoulder. "Except she's got brain problems. We're working on that. Over here, we have Shovel Knight, who has problems everywhere else but her brain. And the girl on fire has no name yet, because she was just born. Say hi, nameless girl on fire."

"H... hi...?" Mini-Nep adds, her voice quavering slightly.

You take advantage of the frozen, confused silence to dip down and hiss into Blanc's ear, because is she goddamned /insane/-

(Cont.)

>>45770694
Conversely, what if it were a million in one chance?

File: 1370150562702.png (159 KB, 859x352)

159 KB PNG

>>45770740
"Trust me. I know what I'm doing," Blanc replies, not at all fazed. "We ought to be able to confuse her enough to have her let us in. I read it in a book once," she adds, nodding sagely.

Mojang's voice cuts in before you can say anything else. "U-Um..." she whimpers, HER voice quavering, too. Goddammit, she sounds close to crying. And when she starts crying- "Can, can you really fix brain problems?"

Yes!, you cut in. Yes, we can! Urist isn't acting like herself, right? We can fix that!

"H-How did you-"

Mojang doesn't finish the sentence, because a second voice (oh god it's your voice OH GOD) cuts in and says something you can't hear. Except you sure as HELL can hear Mojang's terrified, muffled, gibbering /shriek/.

For a few tense moments, more raised voices and the sound of gunfire follows. Then, after a long, silent pause, hidden mechanisms clank together, and the stone drawbridge lowers with a dreadfully final THUD.

"That wasn't too bad," Blanc says quietly.

You stare at the entrance to your fortress, your heart in your throat for no reason you can adequately express.

Hiding behind you, and quavering like a cup of pudding in a moving train, Mini-Nep tugs at your arm. "W... we don't need to go back home on my account," she whimpers. "Could we please go back to cutting tentacles now?"

[ ] [SOLO ENTRY] Go in alone. Shovel Knight and Mini-Nep are liabilities right now, and Blanc needs to keep an eye on them AND prevent... uh, monsters from getting in. Or insane people from getting /out/.
[ ] [ALL IN] Bring everyone inside and close the door. Wacky antics are wacky antics, but you don't want to wrestle with problems from OUTSIDE while you're dealing with problems /inside/ your fort.
[ ] [WAITASEC] Give them some time to sort out whatever it is that's happening in there right now. In the meantime, concentrate /hard/ on Therapist to try and get through to them that way.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>45770756
>[ ] [ALL IN] Bring everyone inside and close the door. Wacky antics are wacky antics, but you don't want to wrestle with problems from OUTSIDE while you're dealing with problems /inside/ your fort.

>[ ] Name Mini-nep/Nepgear Nepgear

Those are the 2 most important things right now, apart from getting the minds back in the corresponding bodies.

>>45770756
>[X] [WAITASEC] Give them some time to sort out whatever it is that's happening in there right now. In the meantime, concentrate /hard/ on Therapist to try and get through to them that way.
Specifically, let's try to cut through to Urist/Neptune and let her know we're here to swap bodies back so she better sit down, shut up, and let a coupel of REAL goddesses (even if one was just born and might be her sister or daughter or something) handle this. If she's a good girl, we'll give her a pudding.

>>45770756
>[ ] [ALL IN] Bring everyone inside and close the door. Wacky antics are wacky antics, but you don't want to wrestle with problems from OUTSIDE while you're dealing with problems /inside/ your fort.

>>45770756
>[X] [ALL IN] Bring everyone inside and close the door. Wacky antics are wacky antics, but you don't want to wrestle with problems from OUTSIDE while you're dealing with problems /inside/ your fort.

>>45770756
>[Just us and Shovel] Protection by right of brain problems!

>>45770817
It's not like we can get more brain damaged!

Well, Shovel can, but you can't expect us to remember that! We have brain damage!

>>45770756
[ ] [SOLO ENTRY] Go in alone. Shovel Knight and Mini-Nep are liabilities right now, and Blanc needs to keep an eye on them AND prevent... uh, monsters from getting in. Or insane people from getting /out/.
>[ ] Name Mini-nep/Nepgear Nepgear
Name her before she gets named pudding

>>45770756
>[ ] [ALL IN] Bring everyone inside and close the door. Wacky antics are wacky antics, but you don't want to wrestle with problems from OUTSIDE while you're dealing with problems /inside/ your fort.
We really don't want to leave bait outside.

>>45770756
>[ ] [ALL IN] Bring everyone inside and close the door. Wacky antics are wacky antics, but you don't want to wrestle with problems from OUTSIDE while you're dealing with problems /inside/ your fort.

>[ ] [ALL IN] Bring everyone inside and close the door. Wacky antics are wacky antics, but you don't want to wrestle with problems from OUTSIDE while you're dealing with problems /inside/ your fort.

>>45770756
>[ ] [ALL IN] Bring everyone inside and close the door. Wacky antics are wacky antics, but you don't want to wrestle with problems from OUTSIDE while you're dealing with problems /inside/ your fort.
Deal with our problems in the most Dorf way possible - Get everyone inside, raise the bridge, and flood the outside with lava.

W-we're working on the lava! Shut up!

File: noble urist.png (265 KB, 550x550)

265 KB PNG

>>45770756
>[X] [ALL IN] Bring everyone inside and close the door. Wacky antics are wacky antics, but you don't want to wrestle with problems from OUTSIDE while you're dealing with problems /inside/ your fort.

It's been ages since I was last awake when Blorp was running, so I'm kind of making up for lost time now.

>>45771322
What, and kill Carp!?

>>45771349
Presumably it would be restricted to a moat

>>45770755
then it'll happen nine times out of Nep

>>45770756
>[X] [ALL IN]
>[X] [NAME THE NEW GIRL]

You reach out with Therapist to try and get a sense of where everyone /is/, but you can't see a thing on your normally-reliable ability. There's- there's some sort of interference that turns everything you try to read into illegible gibberish. You didn't think it was possible, but you're getting /static/, here.

Right then. Mucking about out here ain't gonna get your brains back in their right fucking bodies, that's for sure. For a few moments, you're tempted to leave everyone alone up here, while you go down and risk your sanity, but you then realize that all it'll do is get their asses gnawed on by abyssals, fairies, and MORE sudden twists.

Sorry, new goddess, you're all going in. It'll be safer than staying out /here/, that's for sure.

The new goddess seems to shrink in a little on herself, but she nods without kicking up a fuss.

... huh. She's a pretty good girl. Nothing like her predecessor.

"She needs a name," Blanc says succinctly, hefting Shovel Knight back up- the young adventurer is pretty much conked out by this point, snoring loudly. The patron saint of all things Nintendo frowns, putting her words together. "And she's not technically a goddess. More like a... an apprentice."

What, so she's like Neptune's backup, or something?

"I don't know. Nothing like this has happened before," Blanc replies, sounding a little strained. Ah, there's the worried disbelief you'd been expecting to surface. "Histoire might, though. I'll- /we'll/- talk to her when we return to Gamindustri."

You snort. Yeah, well, you miiiiight not need to wait that long.

(Cont.)

File: 1456645992575.gif (1.86 MB, 404x557)

1.86 MB GIF

>>45771398
Closing the drawbridge behind you, you direct your small group of invalids and newbies further into the fortress.

Well, she’s clearly a freaking Nep. Look at that hair! Look at those eyes and that face! She looks just like Neptune!

“I-I look like you?” the new goddess stammers, clasping her hands to her cheeks and not even bothering to hide that she’s pleased as punch.

“Fair enough,” Blanc muses, ignoring the mini-Nep. “We can’t wait for Neptune to name her, by the way. She’d leap at the chance to add a ‘junior’ or ‘mini-‘ to any variation of Nep.”

… how did you goddesses come up with your names, anyway?

“Made them up ourselves,” she shrugs.

Before you can continue, you finally emerge in the dimly lit storage room.

If not for your inexplicable existential dread and the fact that this place's inhabitants seem to all be going absolutely insane, you could almost /weep/ in relief.

Just as you remember, there're the hallways that branch off into your quickly-constructed bedroom, the farm areas, and the workshops. And then there's that OTHER hallway, the one that leads straight to the caverns. Heck, Mojang's bed is still right in front of you, nestled up to the-

- to the, uh, big blank spot where the gigantic chunk of Sharicite used to float.

Shit.

[ ] [COMB THE UPPER LEVELS] Okay, time to look for goddamn /everyone/. Maybe people're barricaded (and/or trapped in) your bedroom, or they're murdering each other in the farms or the workshops?
[ ] [DOWN TO THE CAVERNS] Only the truly desperate would have gone down here- and boy, did everyone sound desperate. Holy shit, no one had better have breached the cavern levels, because 'safe' would cease to have any real meaning.
[ ] [OH SHIT, THE SHARICITE] First things first, figure out what happened to the Sharicite, since it's the one thing keeping your fortress from twisting into uninhabitable void-twisted insanity AND your one link to Histoire.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>45771417
[ ] [DOWN TO THE CAVERNS] Only the truly desperate would have gone down here- and boy, did everyone sound desperate. Holy shit, no one had better have breached the cavern levels, because 'safe' would cease to have any real meaning.

>>45771417
>[x] [DOWN TO THE CAVERNS] Only the truly desperate would have gone down here- and boy, did everyone sound desperate. Holy shit, no one had better have breached the cavern levels, because 'safe' would cease to have any real meaning.

>>45771417
>[ ] [COMB THE UPPER LEVELS] Okay, time to look for goddamn /everyone/. Maybe people're barricaded (and/or trapped in) your bedroom, or they're murdering each other in the farms or the workshops?
Top to bottom

>>45771417
>[PLONK DOWN THE PORTAL] Repurpose the clearly still sharicite door as the source. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

File: PANIC.gif (1.33 MB, 516x465)

1.33 MB GIF

>>45771417
>[X] [OH SHIT, THE SHARICITE] First things first, figure out what happened to the Sharicite, since it's the one thing keeping your fortress from twisting into uninhabitable void-twisted insanity AND your one link to Histoire.
>[X] PANIC

File: 1425003759334.jpg (57 KB, 640x479)

57 KB JPG

>>45770598
>>45771339
HELLO DARKNESS, MY OLD FRIEND

>>45771444
Did we even grab the portal?

>>45771417
>[X] [COMB THE UPPER LEVELS] Okay, time to look for goddamn /everyone/. Maybe people're barricaded (and/or trapped in) your bedroom, or they're murdering each other in the farms or the workshops?
We have to find our little si- I mean, our friends.
The Sharicite. . . didn't we make that into some terrible dimensional door? Ehh, we'll worry about that later.
For right now we need to find Nep-I mean, Urist, and HEADBUTT HER TO SANITY!

So how quickly would Urist "detour" over to the stills "just incase they're there" while taking a little taste test of alcohol?

>>45771458
It's in storage

>>45771417
>[ ] [OH SHIT, THE SHARICITE] First things first, figure out what happened to the Sharicite, since it's the one thing keeping your fortress from twisting into uninhabitable void-twisted insanity AND your one link to Histoire.

As long as you can't substitute the sharicite with something else (No we don't try to see if we can abuse Nepgear for that.) we need to look for it posthaste.

File: delicious heresy.png (244 KB, 454x621)

244 KB PNG

>>45771454
It's too bad I don't have proper sprites of the rest of the cast.

>>45771458
>>45771464
Confirming that Urist did grab it! Or rather, it just sort of disappeared and went back into her inventory upon closing it.

>>45771417
>>[PLONK DOWN THE PORTAL] Repurpose the clearly still sharicite door as the source. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Seconding.

>four way tie

This is almost impressive.

>>45771417
>[X] [OH SHIT, THE SHARICITE] First things first, figure out what happened to the Sharicite, since it's the one thing keeping your fortress from twisting into uninhabitable void-twisted insanity AND your one link to Histoire.

We made the door out of it, didn't we?

>>45771497
Now we just need 2 more people voting to [DRINK] and we'll be complete!

>>45771417
>>[PLONK DOWN THE PORTAL] Repurpose the clearly still sharicite door as the source. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

>>45771417
>[ ] [COMB THE UPPER LEVELS] Okay, time to look for goddamn /everyone/. Maybe people're barricaded (and/or trapped in) your bedroom, or they're murdering each other in the farms or the workshops?

>>45771516
Why not both

[ ] [OH SHIT, THE SHARICITE] First things first, figure out what happened to the Sharicite, since it's the one thing keeping your fortress from twisting into uninhabitable void-twisted insanity AND your one link to Histoire.

and

>>[PLONK DOWN THE PORTAL] Repurpose the clearly still sharicite door as the source. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

>>45771417
> [DRINK] The stills are still intact. The stills *must* be intact. You are way too sober to deal with this shit.

>>45771417
Adding

> > [DRINK] The stills are still intact. The stills *must* be intact. You are way too sober to deal with this shit.

to everything else. Dropping the door portal deals with the Sharicite for now, and we can go on to explore wherever the Stills are.

You are determined to let that tie stand?

>>45771417


>[ ] [OH SHIT, THE SHARICITE] First things first, figure out what happened to the Sharicite, since it's the one thing keeping your fortress from twisting into uninhabitable void-twisted insanity AND your one link to Histoire.

>>45771508
I doubt it, we were somewhere else entirely. We used some of Neptune's share.

The stills have been replaced with a pudding factory

>>45771417
>>>[PLONK DOWN THE PORTAL] Repurpose the clearly still sharicite door as the source. WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

>>45771540
Dude, it's not like it's hard to do. Drop the portal to temporarily hold the place of the Sharicite with Nep the murder fucking flame goddess apparently sticking with us while Blanc stays behind nursing Shovel Knight and looking after the Dooricite while we go off to investigate the stills, I mean the Upper Levels.

File: WHITE WHALE HOLY GRAIL.png (8 KB, 322x266)

8 KB PNG

>>45771568

>>45771605
What if it's still alcoholic

>>45771636
Delicious sacrelige.

I reread the whole archive over the last few days and something occurred to me... What happened to Rokko's power up ("hope for the third legend"), given how that whole thing ended up. Between that and Mighty No. 9 continuing to be a train wreck, somehow I don't think being in Smash is going to make up for it much...

(Also I started playing DF again thanks to this quest returning. Thanks, Blorp!)

>>45771417
>[ ] [OH SHIT, THE SHARICITE] First things first, figure out what happened to the Sharicite, since it's the one thing keeping your fortress from twisting into uninhabitable void-twisted insanity AND your one link to Histoire

#no 1. problem it might be our new door now

>>45771688
I think Mighty No. 9 is the thing that her stolen heart is being used to try and bring to life.

So far, it still ain't working to well.

>>45771688
the powerup wasn't Legends 3, that's for sure.

it was either the Archie Comic(which is ALSO gone), or the recent rumours that they're going to announce something in the next Direct whatever.

>>45771417
Going by that mention of brain problems, Neptune for some reason isn't telling them what happened, even though they KNOW Nep's been in our head. What the heck, Neptune?
>Find Neptune and punch ourselves in the face for being actively unhelpful

...Unless the brain problems are Doom or Tiff?

>>45771819
Bit late, yo

So, where is our favorit ork/human/draenei Thraviell? She is probably the most sane out of all the current occupants in the fortress, next to some personalitys of Tiff.

File: nepgear is confused wow.webm (1.24 MB, 1024x576)

1.24 MB WEBM

Poor Nepgear. All she wants to do is get to know her big sister/mother/father/genetic donor. Is that so much to ask?

>>45771869
But Thravar is have a thing for BIG pauldrons and even BIGGER weapons. Like she compensating something.

File: horrifying screams come f(...).png (67 KB, 435x507)

67 KB PNG

>>45771417
>[X] [OH SHIT, THE SHARICITE]
>[X] [PLONKING DOWN THE PORTAL]

Oh shit, the sharicite.

... oh SHIT, the sharicite.

... ... oh shit, the SHARICITE.

For a few long moments, you clutch wordlessly at the air, and you find yourself teetering on the precipice between mind-numbing despair and all-consuming rage. You're certainly doomed without that sharicite keeping your fortress sane, and- while you have no proof- you're absolutely certain that NEPTUNE had something to do with this fucking mess-

And then a stray idea, absolutely insane and yet completely grounded in its own twisted logic, hits you hard enough to make you bark with laughter.

Muttering feverishly to yourself, you pace around the storage room, looking for an appropriate alcove. The hallway leading out to the drawbridge won't do, nor will any of the passageways leading anywhere /useful/, because you still want to keep using them in the future and not, say, completely shatter the usability of your fortress.

Eventually, you stumble upon a barely-started hallway, a 1x1 square that you'd dug out but hadn't had time to further delve into. Well, too bad, your hospital's gonna have to go somewhere else, because you're plonking your portal down right here, right now.

There's surprisingly little fanfare when you pull out the masterwork door made from impossible materials and fit it into the alcove. One moment there's nothing, and the next moment, a warm, pulsing glow illuminates the storage room, shining outward from Temptbleaches the Dutiful Chastity.

(Cont.)

>>45771900
Is this another masturbation video.

File: 1456519331857.gif (2.94 MB, 294x582)

2.94 MB GIF

>>45771917
Your sharicite door.

Your sharicite door that stretches from floor to ceiling and seems to take up far more space than it actually does, almost as if it was crafted from a chunk of sharicite that was roughly the same mass as the door you're looking at right now.

Your sharicite door that you'd crafted from the shattered remains of a juvenile faceless tentacle monster and your own chunk of sharicite, which you'd somehow grabbed while unconscious and crafted into a fucking door.

"Urist? Are you finished getting extremely worked up about interior decorating?"

Blinking, you turn around. While you were busy, Blanc had, quite prudently, relocated the rest of the party to the opposite end of the storage room. She's watching you with the air of someone who's worried for your sanity, but is far too polite to say anything about it outright.

Shovel Knight is curled up in a heap of leather (you desperately need bins, a part of your mind remarks off-handedly). Nep-something is sitting on the ground, her tongue poking out from the corner of her mouth, and- bless her little heart, she's hard at work at a toy mini-forge!

... you shake off that strange feeling of warm fuzzy pride and focus. N... no, you're done. Everything's cool now.

You walk toward a discarded rucksack, on your long leggy /legs/ (you'll never get used to CPU Purple Heart's body, and by the grace of Armok, you will never need to). So... what was that Blanc was saying about talking to Histoire?

The goddess of Lowee opens her mouth. She quietly reconsiders, and then proceeds to close her mouth. Blanc's either a fast learner or she's at least half as genre savvy as Neptune. "... you've found a way to contact her, haven't you."

(Cont.)

>>45771923
I mean, if you're feeling that way, it's not like any of us can stop you.

File: 1456702906837.jpg (169 KB, 1280x1444)

169 KB JPG

>>45771933
Bingo. You fish out those Gamindustri Key Fragments, broken rock fragments that look like nothing important, and gently toss them into the air, ignoring the sharp intake of breath. Thankfully, it doesn't take very long for a certain clipped voice to make itself known.

>Is everything alright, Urist? You're later than usual; I've already finished analyzing how to separate Neptune from your mind, and-

Histoire pauses. The floating Key Fragments swivel in place to face you in all your Neppy glory, the blank stone somehow contriving to look blanker than ever.

Then they turn to "stare" at Blanc, who's staring back with an uncharacteristic expression of wide-eyed, slack-jawed surprise.

Finally, there's an actual honest-to-Armok double-take at little miss long-haired new-Nep-something, who's managed to forge a lump of ore into a vaguely humanoid metal doll and is quietly making "pew pew" noises as she flies it around in one hand.

Histoire doesn't make any sound for a good thirty seconds, but you're almost positive that there's a lot of internal screaming going on right now.

[TO BE CONTINUED NEXT THREAD]

>>45771934
I was referring to that one video where an anon used Facerig's new Live2D support to record himself masturbating using Nep's face.

>>45771947
Wait, how did we pull out the fragments? Surely our inventory is over in our normal body?

see ya histoire it was nice knowing you before your brain aneurysm

>>45771923
>>45771949

No, I made it a minute ago

I wasn't jerking it.

Or was I?

File: end.jpg (17 KB, 512x512)

17 KB JPG

Alright, this is as far as I can go on a weekday night, so we'll pick up next time with Histoire picking up the pieces!

Next thread will most likely be this SATURDAY, 3/5, at 9-ish pm EST as well! As usual, updates will be at twitter.com/BlorpQuest, and questions can go to ask.fm/BlorpQuest and/or here!

Right, guys, thanks for participating in this slightly later-than-usual timeslot, and I'll catch you next time. Hope you enjoyed the thread!

I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE BONUS SCENE EITHER, but that'll come later

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE-ish!

>>45771947
Thank you blorp... once in three months I wake up early enough to catch the thread, and it is wonderful.

File: Decision Time2.jpg (48 KB, 600x600)

48 KB JPG

Hyperdimension (Urist's fortress) desperately needs a name, but this time, I'ma leave the naming to you guys!

>VOTE FOR A NAME
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

The one with the most votes will be the new name of Urist's fortress, because it's really confusing referring to the void and this fort by the same name! And if that doesn't work, I'll pop a vote next thread. LET'S GET CRACKING

>>45771947
I think her mind can handle it, eventually.

But yeah, Nepgear is Nep"Craftmaster"gear and Histoire is just stumped.
I hope the next thread isn't too far off.

>>45771947
Nepgear confirmed for best daughter, tied with Mojang.

We're going to make her dwarf yet. And she's on fire, so she can be her own forge!

I wonder what SHE can summon?

>>45772005
>>VOTE FOR A NAME
Hyperdimension

>>45772005

Syrupleaf... wait that is taken.
Boatmurd... also taken.

Koumakan?

>>45772005
Boattickled

>>45772005

Fortress Buzzkilled

>>45772005
Puddingeaten

>>45772005
Hyperdimension is pretty fitting as is
Fortressmode?
Dwarfhome?
It doesn't really have to be all that unique, like DF names usually are, because it's litterally THE Dwarf Fortress, the only one of its kind.

>>45772005
Jaap Haumann, to go with the concept of an impenetrable fortress that's more dangerous to be inside than outside of, and to go with our door Temptbleaches the Dutiful Chastity.

Cog Echo!
Bannercalled!
Treatyclosed the Ageless Angry Armored-Abbey of Hate!

gonna put my actual vote behind Bannercalled

File: FF5_Gilgamesh.jpg (138 KB, 677x1000)

138 KB JPG

>>45771984
Blorp, I have a question. Bare with me now.

The Hyperdimension is inbetween dimensions, correct? It's also outside of Gameindustri, which means that Gameindustri's rules don't apply to it.
Ein is the representative of Final Fantasy, which means that however loosely, Gameindustri is connected to the Final Fantasy universe.
The Interdimensional Void exists in Final Fantasy and connects all the Final Fantasy universes and can be used to move between them.

So, is the Hyperdimension connected to the Interdimensional Void and more importantly, what's the chance of running across a character who in canon is known to use the Interdimentional Void to move between universes?

>>45772005
> [NAME] Elephant's end

File: 1446530524210.jpg (109 KB, 600x884)

109 KB JPG

>>45771688
Haha, I'm glad you liked it! This is a pretty good time to get back into DF, too, what with all them newfangled updates and features.

Also, regarding Rokko's power up: yup, it was basically just a bump to her optimism and/or hope. I guess we'll have to see how that pans out, but like you said, it... doesn't look good, does it?

>>45771968
Urist picked them up from a discarded rucksack she found in the stockpile.

If she'd looked closer without her sanity fraying at the edges, she probably would've also noticed the discarded armor and clothes that would just about fit a certain dwarf currently inhabited by a goddess.

>>45772015
... I'm not sure anything trumps her canon summons, to be honest!

>>45772016
YOU CHEEKY LIL CUNT

>>45772005
I fired up Dwarf Fortress and after only a few tries I got a decent name.
[X] Bluerock

>>45772065
Actually, an addendum: I don't suppose "Hyper dimension" has a Dawrven translation in game, or something that means similar, does it? Because that would be helpful. Great Realm?

>>45772092
>discarded armor and clothes
NEPTUNE WHAT DID YOU DO.
WHAT.
DID.
YOU.
DOOOOOOOOO.

>>45772016
Seconding

>>45772092
> ExcitedAspect Fortress

>>45772005
Bearddreams

>>45772128
I am so excited to get to watch Urist act like a lunatic airhead from the outside, you have no idea

I do wonder what has Mojang so worked up. She knew Neptune was in our head, so she should be able to get the gist of what happened, right? Unless the mental problems refer to our other allies, because Urist was the only thing keeping the team together and stable, as a fortress leader should.

File: 1456726858730.jpg (37 KB, 552x571)

37 KB JPG

>>45772074
The short answer is that sadly, Ein's Interdimensional Void isn't connected with the hyperdimensional void!

After some deep thought (read: sitting with my head in my hands and reflecting that it's 1:30 am on a weekday), I figure it works like this:

- The hyperdimensional void isn't /entirely/ divorced from Gamindustri's rules.
- The hyperdimensional void exists on a different level entirely, separate from even the goddesses and definitely from the adventurers spawned under the goddesses' watchful eyes.
- Ein spawned as an inhabitant of Gamindustri, beholden to its rules.
- The Interdimensional Void only exists within the FF universe, and as a location in one game (and a few spinoffs), and it's not exactly a defining feature of Ein.
- Neither void is connected, nor will they be, even if Ein hopped out of Gamindustri and into the hyperdimensional void.
- Therefore, the chances are pretty much zero.

Hope that helps! Hitting the hay now.

>>45772016
Thirding! Don't change a good thing.

Or UrNepMoNep

Or Skinship of Little Sisters and watch Estelle break through the dimensional boundary to get there.

>>45772163
Sleep snorp, Blorp.

>>45772163
Blorp, sleep well, so that you can grace us with your stories the next time in a reasonable time in your normal (pretty good) quality.

>>45772005
Shore of Hypermurdered

>>45772163
What about Rei Ryghts and Croire?

>>45770480
>30 seconds in and the narrator goes into insane troll logic?
That actually made me more interested.

>>45772005
Rockjump

>>45772005
Ultradimension

>>45771688
>>45771747
>>45771700
The powerup wasn't representing real events, it's was just an in-quest thing.

>>45772163
G'nighty Blorp.

https://a.pomf.cat/cpctcp.mp4

>>45772005
Dwarf Dimension

Totally not a subtle crack about wanting DDs.

>>45772005
I like bluerock.

It sounds nice.

>>45772015
https://youtu.be/vtorWUZ0Yyg

I vote for Brainproblems

>>45772005
Onulingtak Geshud Torir
Waywardtwilight the Fortress of Void

>>45772155
I vaguely remember Urist telling Mojang to deal with us if we went full Nep. I don't know which thread or even if that's right though.

>>45772005
>>45773010
Ooh that one's awesome.

>>45773010
>Onulingtak Geshud Torir
Nah man, that's fucking gay.

>>45772092
You're probably going to want to survey-monkey this shit.

>>45773307
>>45772092
This really doesn't matter too much. Just pick one that's not awful and roll on with Histoire's broken reality and Extra Scenes.

>>45772005
Voidwalker, or the dwarven equivalent
The Hyperbay
Pond(Where we keep the Carp)

>>45772128
Decided to prance around in the cute nightgown?

>>45774659
.....SHIT, YOU'RE RIGHT.

At least she hasn't crafted her own Nep Gear pun intended out of DF cavern materials.

although the nightgown may perhaps be modified and dyed purple.

>>45774659
Or, since she's now a dwarf, she is locked in our room suffering withdrawal because she is too stupid to seek out alcohol on her own.

>>45774835
She got a mood while in Urist's body.
And there's no shells and crystal glass in the fortress.

>>45774683
I dunno, I kinda expect her to have somehow crafted a dwarf-sized version of her usual outfit.

What if Nep-in-Urist has gone into a strange mood?

>>45775851
>>45775327

I suppose she'd go melancholic and roam the fortress naked before drowning herself in lava.

That would be hard on Mojang.

>>45773109
Oh, crap, that's right. I don't remember if it made it into an actual command but I actually suggested that myself at one point. That may cause issues... But in my defense at the time we were dealing with personality overwriting, not body swapping.

Hmmmm
Urist
Neptune
Nepgear
NepUrist?
NePurist?
Nee Purist-chan Oh God...dess.

>>45776699

Speaking of names... remember how Blanc said the goddesses came up with their own names? NepGEAR.

The Nep part is obvious. But what is a gear? Something found in dwarven contraptions, obviously! Nepgear is going to name herself after her mother, Urist! Plus the Sega gamegear, but whatever.