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/tg/ - Traditional Games


File: BlackKnight.png (72 KB, 337x287)
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You wake up, head throbbing, in a place you've never seen. You flip over from your back onto your stomach, and try to stand. It's difficult, especially with your legs restricted by tight knit lengths of cotton, but you manage, and dust yourself off as you look around.

You seem to be in a place with many trees. You've heard daddy talk about them, 'forist', or so you think. The ground is slightly damp, and the air is chilly. You've never experienced natural cold before, and you don't like it.

You walk a few paces, and see a long thing with many tiny legs climbing one of the trees, and for some reason you aren't sure of you jump back in fear. You really wish you were home right now. You wish daddy and mommy were here. You wish one of them would pick you up and carry you back to your nice warm crib.

Speaking of warm, you feel very hungry. Usually mommy warms you up a bottle of goat's blood by now, or at least pours some cereal onto your high-chair table for you. While contemplating this, you see a small mouse scamper by. It looks at you meekly, and you return the glance.

>Call for help
>Try to find a way out
>Hold your hand out to the mouse
>Sing a song to make you feel better
>Other
>>
>>46395036
hold my hand up to the mouse.
>>
>>46395036
Previous thread: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/46290033/
Twitter: @BBEG_Questman If you read it, you'd know what's heppening
>>
>>46395149
You kneel down and extend your palm out to the mouse. It watches for a moment, still as stone, then begins to inch closer nervously. Eventually it reaches your finger tips, where is nibbles them lightly enough that it tickles a bit, before climbing up. You stand, and pet the little mouse gently as it squeaks softly in your palm.

>Eat the mouse
>Befriend the mouse
>Pocket the mouse
>Other
>>
>>46395204
Need some way to stand out without trips
>>
>>46395163
Its not like theres a BIG hint in the opening picture.....
>>
>>46395204
pocket the mouse, I mean we can always eat him later. preferably shirt pocket if we have one, so he can see where we're going
>>
>>46395204
befriend the mouse
>>
>>46395204
>Befriend the mouse

What the fuck is going on with /tg/ today?
>>
>>46395204
>Befriend the mouse
>>
>>46395454
You pet the mouse softly and give it a tiny kiss on the forehead. It seems happy, and you notice you aren't shaking as much as you were a moment ago.

Newly confident, you decide to look around for a way out, or at least a sign of other people. You don't find much, but you do stumble across what looks to be a small piece of candy. You kneel down and pick it up, examining it closely. The wrapper looks fine, and it doesn't smell. Usually daddy checks your treat bags for razor blades and cyanide capsules, but you suppose since you're out on your own, you'll have to make your own decisions.

>Eat the candy
>Pocket the candy
>Throw the candy away
>Other
>>
>>46395521
Break a bit from candy and feed Mr Mouse with it
>>
>>46395521
>Pocket the candy

TG YOU CANNOT DENY MY NAME
>>
>>46395454
I mean I was gonna try to eat it but then he suggested that so I figured it was too unoriginal
>>
>>46395535
seconded, but we do need some food soon
>>
>>46395580
Mmmh, how does poisoned mouse spund for dinner?
>>
>>46395595
spund -> sound
>>
>>46395535
You open the wrapper and hold the candy out for the mouse to sniff. He wiggles his nose at it, then begins nibbling. He looks pretty healthy as he does, but eventually he seems to get tired. You wonder if he's full, or just doesn't like sweets.

Suddenly you glance down and spot more candy. You lean in to get a closer look, and spot yet another. You realize that there are dozens, and they seem to form a line deeper into the 'forist'. Your child's instincts urge you to go forward, but something about the trail is unsettling. Candy doesn't grow on trees or from the ground, you know that much, so why would it be laying around here?

>Follow the trail
>Ignore the trail
>Other
>>
>>46395701
Follow trail, leave candy. also pick up a stick if we see one shit could get serious
>>
>>46395701
>Ignore the trail
>>
>>46395701
>Follow the trail
>>
>>46395701
>>Ignore the trail
im'pretty sure, dad talked to us about never following trails of candy that lead into a white cart.
>>
>>46395750
No remember, He said bring the candy back home for him to check. Its littering otherwises.
>>
>>46395714
You leave the candy on the ground, but follow it carefully through the trees and grass, until your neck hurts from looking down. When you finally turn your gaze up to rub your sore muscles, you are shocked to spy a small house made entirely of candy, from peppermint studs to chocolate walls, and hard sugar windows held with white frosting putty.

Needless to say, your little mouth is watering, but even with light, sweet smelling smoke puffing out of the chimney, you don't like the nature of this place. You think of turning back, when suddenly the little mouse hops out of your hand and scurries over to the front door. He turns back, looking at you as if to urge you over.

>"No little mouse, this is a bad place."
>"I'm not going, there's probably a paladin in there! Paladins are scary!"
>Approach the door
>Other
>>
>>46395701
> ignore the trail
Please don't do this to me
>>
>>46395886
>"I'm not going, there's probably a paladin in there! Paladins are scary!"
>>
>>46395886
>Approach the door, BUT ONLY IF YOU TELL ME THE SECERTS OF THIS HOUSE MOUSE.

Do it anons, Stick your dick in the pudding.
>>
>>46395886
>>"I'm not going, there's probably a paladin in there! Paladins are scary!"
fuck paladins, always luring kids with candy.
>>
>>46395886
fuck this mouse could get us in trouble, we should walk around and look for windows or alternate entrances, see if we can find out who's inside without them finding us
>>
So unless we're stupid we're playing as a young Vanessa, right? What's with the OP pic though, isn't Vanessa supposed to have black hair rather than purple? Or did I just fill that in myself?
>>
>>46396011
>*unless I'M stupid
>>
>>46395951
You tell the mouse that you know better than to just walk up to a random person's candy house in the middle of 'forist' and knock on the door like you're gonna sell cookies, and that no mouse, cute or otherwise, is going to convince you to go against everything those handpuppets at the library taught you about 'stranger danger' and/or not sticking things in your nose.

"Thou art wise beyond your years girl, but this beith my domain, and if thou wishest to escape and return to thine home then thou must do as I say. Only the kind witch who dwelleth here may aid you, but be on your guard, for even kindness doth not dull the edge of the blade that be the arcane arts," says the mouse.

You weren't sure what you were expecting, but you're in this now, and like mommy says 'sometimes you just have to take a deep breath, close your eyes, and accept things, even if they seem too big to take in all at once.'

>"No go mouse, I'm no dummy, and I'm not going in."
>"Mice don't talk, they squeak, so get busy."
>"What makes you so sure she can help me?"
>Other
>>
>>46396129
>"Mice don't talk, they squeak, so get busy."
Squeak squeak motherfucker
>>
>>46396129
huh, probably a good thing we didn't eat this mouse.

"what makes you so sure she can help me?"
>>
>>46396129
>"Mice don't talk, they squeak, so get busy."

>like mommy says 'sometimes you just have to take a deep breath, close your eyes, and accept things, even if they seem too big to take in all at once.'
LEWD
>>
>>46396011
I happen to not have access to or knowledge of photoshop or equivalents, just pretend it's black and forgive my uselessness
>>
>>46396129
>>Other
how can a mouse have a domain?
remember to always ask the important questions
>>
>>46396230
It's okay Umaru-chan, you're still better at editing pics than I am.
>>
>>46396129
>"Mice don't talk, they squeak, so get busy"
>>
>>46395886
other, as we are young Mrs. Vanessa BEG can we already do the horns and sharp teeth face?
>>
>>46396225
"Thou art sharp, in many ways. Doth thou kiss thine mother with yon mouth?"

You tell the mouse that your mommy hates being kissed, and that it makes both you and your daddy very sad. The mouse is unsure how to handle that information.

"Verily. At any rate, I am familiar with this witch, and she will aid thee. Pray, come hither and rap on yon chamber door, so that we may seek her kindness. I swear to thee on my honor as a Knight of the Small Table, no harm will come to thee so long as mine hear dost beat rapid and beat proudly."

>"No sell, I'm turning back."
>"Fine, just stop talking."
>"If you're a knight, I'm a princess."
>Other
>>
>>46396440
>"If you're a knight, I'm a princess."

This is a adorable, Shame we die at the end of this story.
>>
>>46396440
>Other
Tell him what your daddy does to knights
And thus the daddy complex begins!
>>
>>46396440
>>"If you're a knight, I'm a princess."
then nock on the door in a princess mannered way
>>
>>46396462
seconded, except for the dying part. we got this!
>>
>>46396468

Seconded
>>
>>46396481
You poke at the mouse one more time, unsure how to differentiate an annoyed expression on such a tiny face, but secure in your ability to irritate rodents. You move past him and knock on the door three times, gently, and await an answer.

It comes in the form of a portly woman with cloud-white hair in a large bun atop her head, as well as round spectacles and a black dress under a white, flour dusted apron. She smiles warmly down at the two of you and clasps her hands together in delight.

"Oh my! What a little darling you've brought to me Lionell! Why she's as sweet as a cinnamon bun!" The old woman reaches down to pinch your cheeks, leaving them sore and red.

>Bear with it, you need her to get home
>"Hands off, hag, these cheeks are spoken for."
>"Old lady, can you help me get home? I'm super hungry and I'm tired of this whimsy already."
>Other
>>
>>46396645
>Bear with it, you need her to get home
>>
>>46396468
Second.
>>
>>46396645
>>Bear with it, you need her to get home
>>
>>46396645
>"Hands off, hag, these cheeks are spoken for."
>>
>>46396645
>"Old lady, can you help me get home? I'm super hungry and I'm tired of this whimsy already."
At this age being blunt is still cute
>>
>>46396704
thirded, bear
>>
>>46396676
The old witch ushers you inside, and offers you a seat in her parlor. The house as a whole is quick cozy, being made of candy on the inside as well as out. The furniture tends to be made of chocolate or sweet bread, with the exception of the hearth, which seems to be burning real wood, though it smells strongly of roasted marshmallows.

As you peer around, the old witch brings over a tray of tea and sits across from you, pouring a cup for you and herself, as well as a thimble for Lionell the mouse. She drops enough sugar into each cup to rot your teeth at a sip, and begins nursing her cup.

"So tell me dear, what brings you here?"

>"This mouse. He said you could help me get home."
>"Oh you know, I thought it would be fun to wander alone in my jammies and see if I would get eaten by a wolf or an owl first."
>"I just want my mommy and daddy."
>Other
>>
>>46396851
>"Oh you know, I thought it would be fun to wander alone in my jammies and see if I would get eaten by a wolf or an owl first."

The sass option will be chosen at some point.
>>
>>46396851
>>"This mouse. He said you could help me get home."
because right now we are princesses and we need to talk like one.
>>
>>46396891
Seconded, we are best princess.
>>
>>46396877
seconded, we are dick princess
>>
>>46396851
>"This mouse. He said you could help me get home."
>>
>>46396915

>"This mouse. He said you *will* help me get home."
>>
>>46396914
I don't know if I feel safe with that name backing me.
>>
>>46396851
>>46396877
>>46396914
>>46397010
How could I NOT support Seth Sexton?
>>
>>46396947
The old witch blows on her cup, then takes another sip.

"Well it's true, I know of a way to get you home. But it won't be easy. To return, you must pass through the Gate of Eld. It is the threshold that seperates this land from the lands beyond. It lies beyond the Fields of Slumber, over the Blackmoon River, and through the Palace of Pleasure. The journey will be dangerous, but if you truly wish to make the trek, I will give you what you need to make it there."

>"Aren't you a witch? Can't you just zap me there with magic? My uncle Ray knows magic, and he doesn't even walk more than five feet. One time I saw him teleport his keys out of his pocket because he didn't feel like getting up to fit his hand inside."
>"Alright, I'll do it, if it means I get to go home."
>"Forget it, I'll just live here."
>Other
>>
>>46397121
>"Aren't you a witch? Can't you just zap me there with magic? My uncle Ray knows magic, and he doesn't even walk more than five feet. One time I saw him teleport his keys out of his pocket because he didn't feel like getting up to fit his hand inside."
BASED RAYmona Mayer
>>
>>46397121

>"Aren't you a witch? Can't you just zap me there with magic? My uncle Ray knows magic, and he doesn't even walk more than five feet. One time I saw him teleport his keys out of his pocket because he didn't feel like getting up to fit his hand inside."

Good guy ray holy shit.
>>
>>46397121
>>"Aren't you a witch? Can't you just zap me there with magic? My uncle Ray knows magic, and he doesn't even walk more than five feet. One time I saw him teleport his keys out of his pocket because he didn't feel like getting up to fit his hand inside."

Is there another answer?
Also, no wonder Ray died, that lazy guy
>>
>>46397179
>>46397173
>>46397159


seth sexton commands it!
>>
>>46397121
>>"Aren't you a witch? Can't you just zap me there with magic? My uncle Ray knows magic, and he doesn't even walk more than five feet. One time I saw him teleport his keys out of his pocket because he didn't feel like getting up to fit his hand inside."
>>
>>46397179
walking has nothing to do with the amount of drugs he snorted off titties and hookiers anon.
>>
>>46397235
Still the complete lack of physical exercise cannot have been good for him.
Especially with drugs
>>
>>46397235
maybe he summed a bad quality of magic drugs and/or hookers
>>
>>46397222
"Well, if you must know, I flunked out of magic school. I was only doing it because I felt pressured by society to pursue a higher education in a field I was informed was lucrative and growing, unaware of the competition I'd face and the difficulty of attaining a notable position in the cutthroat world of magic, sometimes literally. Now I'm saddled with so much student loan debt that I have to live in a candy cottage in the woods so the IRS doesn't find me. So, you're option are magical adventure or stay here and get diabetes from gnawing on this house."

Suddenly there is a savage pounding at the door, and a deep male voice sounds through it.

"Witch Brenda, this is the IRS! You're under arrest for tax evasion, building without a permit, and being generally boring at parties! Come out now or we will use deadly force!"

The old witch hops out of her seat and pull her wand from her apron, aiming it at the door.

"You won't take me alive! Quick girl, in my magic bag, there is an item that will help you!"

Panicked, you run over to a large and tacky canvas bag in the corner and dig through it. There are three items inside that look useful.

>A small, shining sword
>A wand with a point shaped into a star
>The old witch's wallet
>>
>>46397259
>>46397272
maybe, However I doubt he did it wrong. Its clearly an assassition attempt now that I think about it.

WE MUST PURGE THE PLANE OF EXISTANCE HE LIVES IN FOR RAY!

>>46397365
>A small, shining sword like dad!
>>
>>46397365
Aren't we a succubus? can't we charm the IRS?
>>
>>46397365
>other
>take the wand and the wallet. we are a princess, but also daddy taught us the value of the "walits"
>>
>>46397365
>The old witch's wallet
Clearly the most powerful item
>>
>>46397365
>A small, shining sword like dad!
>>
>>46397365
i have to say wallet. but i mean we have two hands so let's grab the wand too.


we have two hands right?
>>
>>46397365
>A wand with a point shaped into a star
>>
>>46397404
a succubbus child versus the magic IRS. who do you think will win?
>>
>>46397459
You grab the wand and tuck it into your pajamas, and then grab the wallet for good measure before the front door bursts violently off it's hinges, revealing a large, green skinned man and his short, barefooted partner, both in black suits and both aiming wands at the old witch. Spells begin flying, exploding and setting ablaze the candy cottage, leaving you and Lionell just enough time to slip out the cat door and into the woods.

You sprint as hard as you can for as long as you can, until a tree root catches your foot and sends your face-first into the dirt. When you recover, your whole body hurts, and you feel like crying, even though you know no kisses or lollipops will come of it this time.

>Cry, get it out
>Hold it in, you have to be brave
>Kick the tree that tripped you until your sadness turns into rage
>Other
>>
>>46397616
>Hold it in, you have to be brave
>>
>>46397616
>Other
Use your latent demonic powers to summon daddy to give you all the hugs and kisses in the world.
>>
>>46397616
>>Hold it in, you have to be brave

be brave like dad.
>>
>>46397616
>>
>>46397616
>>Kick the tree that tripped you until your sadness turns into rage
>>
>>46397616
>>Hold it in, you have to be brave
>>
>>46397716
You scrunch up your face and try to hold on until you don't feel tears welling up anymore, then release and take a deep breath. You don't feel as sad now, but you don't feel good either. At any rate, you're more or less back where you started, only now with a wallet and a wand. Lionell notices you holding back your tears, and decides to speak up.

"Girl, I ken the hardship and sorrow ye face, but do not think to shoulder the burden alone. I am here, and I have sworn myself to you, and so I vow to see you home safely, come the hounds of hell themselves to rend my flesh from bone."

>"Thank you Lionell. That helps."
>"I can see about that happening, my mommy breeds hellhounds for competition."
>"What can a mouse do? Besides chew through a wall and poop in the oatmeal can."
>Other
>>
>>46397616
>Kick the tree that tripped you until your sadness turns into rage
>>
>>46397920
>"Thank you Lionell. That helps."
>>
>>46397920
>"I can see about that happening, my mommy breeds hellhounds for competition."
>>
>>46397920
>"Thank you Lionell. That helps."
fuck, that april fools design is cancerous....
>>
>>46397920
>"Thank you Lionell. That helps."
>>
>>46398016
Lionell guides you through the woods for a while, as he is intimately familiar with the terrain after having lived near it his whole life. You follow absentmindedly, paying attention only when some form of tricky terrain demands your focus, but otherwise you have your mind floating far away, back home where the apple juice flows in rivers and the naps are long and bookended by gentle kisses in the cheek.

Eventually the trees begin to grow sparse, and you come to a large rolling field full of delightful red flowers. Lionell climbs your leg, back, and then your shoulder to perch safely near your ear.

"Beware, child, for this is the Field of Slumber. Many have dared to walk it's length only to be stricken down by the toxins of these blooms, and never awaken."

You try to think of a way to cross without breathing in the toxins Lionell is talking about.

>Pull your jammies over your nose
>Charge through to lessen the time you're exposed
>Burn the entire field
>Other
>>
>>46398219
>Pull your jammies over your nose
>Burn the entire field
>>
>>46398219
>>Burn the entire field
princess style.
>>
>>46397983
>fuck, that april fools design is cancerous....
It's a parody of google+ right?
>>
>>46398219
>Burn the entire field
>>
>>46398268
You saunter back to the trees and find a couple of decent branches which you bring back to the edge of the field. Lionell asks what you mean to do, but you ignore him, instead focusing on your task.

After several grueling minutes of random rubbing and angry grunts, you manage to spark the branches. Lionell warns you about the dangers of playing with fire, and how you might come to harm if you persist.

>"Fine, I'll put it out."
>"I live in a place where lava comes out of the ground nine months out of the year. The other three it's acid."
>"We need to get across, and now nobody will have to worry about the flowers again."
>Other
>>
>>46398374
>>"I live in a place where lava comes out of the ground nine months out of the year. The other three it's acid."
playing with lava balls with the other kids is the norla there.
>>
>>46398374
>"I live in a place where lava comes out of the ground nine months out of the year. The other three it's acid."
>>
>>46398374
>>"I live in a place where lava comes out of the ground nine months out of the year. The other three it's acid."
>>
>>46398374
>"I live in a place where lava comes out of the ground nine months out of the year. The other three it's acid."
Ahh, the cursed land of Detroit
>>
>>46398374
>"I live in a place where lava comes out of the ground nine months out of the year. The other three it's acid."
>>
>>46398404
You hurl the flaming sticks into the field, and watch as the flower catch, leaves and all. You find a comfy patch of grass to watch from as the field burns, making a great plume of black smoke and clearing a path for you to walk unimpeded. Once enough distance has been cleared, you set out to cross the scorched earth, ignoring Lionell's heaving and sobbing about the destruction of natural beauty or whatever.

On the other side of the now black and lifeless field, you come to a wide and rushing river. The water is black as night, and colder than ice. Lionell tells you that this is the Blackmoon River, and you may only cross it in the night, when the ferryman comes to bring travelers over with his lantern and raft.

>"Alright, then let's just play a game until night comes."
>"You know,this place is pretty inconvenient so far. It's like someone designed it to be a pain to get through."
>"My daddy took me to lil' guppy lessons at the public pool last year, and I won the silver star sticker. I think I can handle this."
>Other
>>
>>46398581
>>"You know,this place is pretty inconvenient so far. It's like someone designed it to be a pain to get through."
>>
>>46398581
>"My daddy took me to lil' guppy lessons at the public pool last year, and I won the silver star sticker. I think I can handle this."
>"The public pool too is lava 9 months a year and acid for the other 3 months"
>>
>>46398614
seconded,

also let's check through that wallet and see what we found
>>
>>46398581
voting this >>46398616
>>
>>46398581
>"Alright, then let's just play a game until night comes."
>"You know,this place is pretty inconvenient so far. It's like someone designed it to be a pain to get through."
>>
>>46398581
>>"You know,this place is pretty inconvenient so far. It's like someone designed it to be a pain to get through."
>>
>>46398648
Lionell shrugs.

"I admit it's not the most accessible place to live, but I think when you grow up somewhere you just get used to the little pains you have to go through."

You and Lionell sit down by the side of the river and take turn hucking stones into the water, trying to make the biggest splash. You win each round consistently, due to your ability to have a hand the size of his entire body. Eventually you run out of stones, and switch to cloud watching until the sun sets, and Lionell spots a light in the distance, approaching slowly but surely along the water's surface. When it arrives, you see a short man in black robes standing atop a raft. He holds a hand out as if to demand something.

>Give him the wallet
>Give him a high five
>Stab him with the wand and steal the raft
>Other
>>
>>46398835
inb4 give him your pussy

other: What do you require as payment?
>>
>>46398835
>>Other
give him some cash from the wallet.
>>
>>46398835
>Give him the wallet
Make it rain, just like daddy does to mommy
>>
>>46398835
>Give him a high five
>>
>>46398835
>Give him a high five
High Five!
>>
>>46398976
You slap his hand confidently. Lionell seems concerned, but not a moment later, the robed man retracts his hand and looks you dead in the eye.

"You know, in all my years doing this job, not once has anyone thought to show any appreciation for what I do. Thank you little girl. Your gesture has warmed my heart, and for your kindness, I will wave all fare, and guide you across post haste."

Lionell gawks as you hop aboard the raft, almost missing his chance to leap on out of sheer shock. The two of you ride the raft across the raging river, until you come to the other side where you depart and wish the ferryman luck with his lot in life.

"Good. All that's left is to reach the Palace of Pleasure before we get you home."

>"Sounds like a nice enough place."
>"Let's rest first, I haven't had my nap today."
>"Can we eat? I'm a growing girl."
>Other
>>
>>46398835
>Give him a high five.
>>
File: CUMMING.png (112 KB, 209x306)
112 KB
112 KB PNG
>>46399069
>>"Sounds like a nice enough place."
I can't wait to be proven wrong.
>>
>>46399069
>Other
"I think mommy worked there before she met daddy"
>>
>>46399128
I'm changing to this
>>46399133
>>
>>46399133
Yep supporting this.
>>
>>46399069
>>"Sounds like a nice enough place."
>>
>>46399133
Second.
>>
>>46399069
>Other We fuck now?
>>
>>46399133
ok gotta go witth this too
>>
>>46399133
kek. doo dis
>>
>>46399069
voting this >>46399133
>>
>>46399133
Once again, Lionell is at an utter loss for appropriate words. Leave it to mortal creatures to be so prudish about sex. It's just kissing without clothes, after all.

You decide to get a bit of sleep before you head out. Lionell finds you enough tall grass to form a decent blanket, and the two of you curl up and fall asleep quickly. When the sun rises, you do too, and begin making your way toward the final leg of your journey.

You spot the Pleasure Palace from quite a ways away, and begin following a well worn road along the way. Many carts and pedestrians pass you by, but none of them pay you mind. By the time you arrive, your feet are sore, and you're ready to collapse again, but one more thing seems to stand in your way. The massive gates to the palace are shut, and only people holding strange slips of paper seem to be allowed to pass unimpeded. You'll need one of those to get in, unless you can think of something else.

>Steal one
>Buy one
>Try to sneak in
>Other
>>
>>46399354
>other
>bang on the door yelling " let me in"
>>
>>46399354
>Buy one
If anyone asks our age, we're 20.
>>
>>46399354
>Bang on the door. " Mom, are you here!? Let me in!"
>>
>>46399354
>>46399388
This, yelling about how we want our daddy
>>
>>46399354
>Buy one
>>
>>46399406
>>46399459
eh buying one is probs the safest bet
>>
>>46399530
We are a spoiled little permasheltered half-succubus, we do not play safe, we play innocent
>Knock on door and ask if somebody knows mommy, from when she worked there
>>
>>46399388
You approach the gate boldly and begin pounding on it with your tiny fist, demanding to be allowed inside. The guard asks you to stop, but you ignore him and continue knocking. Travelers come and go, most of them turning to watch a little girl ceaselessly beat on a wooden gate demanding entrance.

Minutes pass. Hours pass. Days pass. Weeks, months, centuries, and millennia pass as you knock. Kingdoms rise and fall, gods battle and die for control of the cosmos. The stars themselves burn out all around you, but still you knock. Until finally, the guard gets sick of you and lets you in just to get you to stop.

The palace is nothing to write home about, really. Nude women, fountains of wine, bards playing beautiful music while people eat delicious food. Basically a Sunday barbecue at your house. You ask for directions to the gate, and are pointed to the throne room, where the emperor sits upon his Loveseat of Endless Delights. When you enter and find him, you see a tall, dark haird, muscular man in golden armor bearing the motif of a soaring eagle. He sits with thirteen sons, all decorated in glorious armor and standing proudly at attention as their father greets you.

"Welcome child. I am to understand you wish to return home, to your family."

>"Yes, sir."
>"No, I was just wondering what it's like to have your feet bleed from walking."
>"I did, but now I changed my mind. I'm taking over this palace, so get off my throne and get to scrubbing this filthy floors."
>Other
>>
>>46399594
>"I did, but now I changed my mind. I'm taking over this palace, so get off my throne and get to scrubbing this filthy floors."
Of course you're taking over in the name of your dear old daddy. He'll be so proud!
>>
>>46399594
>"I did, but now I changed my mind. I'm taking over this palace, so get off my throne and get to scrubbing this filthy floors."

DAD WILL BE PROUD OF US, DADDY LOOK! We built a mini-empire for you!
>>
>>46399594
"I heard you had a job opening"
>>
>>46399594
>> Other "Yes, sir. Can i call my mom? i think she used to work here."
>>
>>46399594
>"I did, but now I changed my mind. I'm taking over this palace, so get off my throne and get to scrubbing this filthy floors."
Also get some food and threaten him with our killer mouse
>>
>>46399594
>>"Yes, sir."
Do you anons want to die
>>
>>46399594
>>"No, I was just wondering what it's like to have your feet bleed from walking."
>>
>>46399681
we're a little kid, they won't kill us!
>>
>>46399681
We'll you see, They might know our mother and shes a scary lady.
>>
>>46399681
>Do you anons want to die
Our death would lead to a time paradox. In other words: we're fucking untouchable.
>>
>>46399765
UNLESS, IT CHANGES THE FUTURE.
>>
>>46399765
that's how we discover that the real vannessa died in a brothel and the vannessa we have right now is a robot.
>>
>>46399681
Do you always choose the seemingly safe route, never risk anything, never try to go a different way? Here is a hint, that ain't working the seemingly safe choice often is not the safest or most sensible choice.
>>
>>46399618
The thirteen sons of the emperor all gasp in horror, but the emperor himself seems unphased.

"She is but a child. Her ambitions exceed her means. Run along now, or I shall have you imprisoned for treason of the highest order."

He's not taking you seriously. There's only one things to do in this situation.

>Cry for daddy
>Pay off the oldest son, he looks easily swayed by trivial things
>Barf on the floor, grossing them out so much they abandon the palace altogether
>Henshin
>Other
>>
>>46399883
>Call for Daddy
>Henshin! whatever this is
>>
>>46399883
>>Cry for daddy
>>
>>46399883
>Henshin
>>
>>46399883
>>Henshin
AND
>>Cry for Daddy.
>>
>>46399883
>>Other
>Kill them all
>>
>>46399938
Supported
>>
>>46399938
thirded
>>
>>46399883
>>46399938
This
>>
>>46399938
You pull out the magic wand you stole from the witch, who may or may not be dead now, and wave it about. The emperor looks on with curiosity, as suddenly you are lifted into the air by a beam of multicolored light which provides dazzling visuals and modesty both.

You are surrounded by ethereal cuts of fabric which meld to your skin and transform into the pieces of an overly designed dress, complete with shoes and gloves. Once you are dressed to impress even the pickiest fashionista, you slowly fall to the ground.

The emperor and thirteen sons seem much more fearful of you now, and each begins drawing his weapon, ready to strike.

Confused, tired, hungry, sad, lonely, angry, thirsty, dirty, and of course a bit smelly, you grow tired of this ludicrous display. You drop the wand, fall onto your newly bloomered bottom, and begin blubbering, begging to just go home and put all of this behind you forever.

Just then, the doors to the audience chamber burst open and a true stampede of black stallions come galloping in. Riding atop them are several green men in red armor that is barely held together, who attack the thirteen sons in unison. This would be another infuriating addition to your misery, if the rear of the cavalry charge were not brought up by none other than daddy, uncle ray, and Vald, the sorcerer who daddy works for.

Daddy dismounts and sprints over to you at full speed, shouting your name as tears fill his eyes.

>Run over
>Let him come to you
>Refuse his hug
>Other
>>
>>46399938
What does Henshin even mean. afraid to google
>>
>>46400327
Transform, I think.
>>
>>46400305
>let him come to you

after a brief google search henshin means "transform" in weeaboo
>>
>>46400305
>Run over and cry into his arms about how mean they were.
>>
>>46400305
>let him come to you
>>
>>46400305
>Other
>Dodge the hug and slit my fathers throat
>>
>>46400363
>>46400305

was just going to write something similar, seconded
>>
>>46400305
>as tears fill his eye slots
Ftfy
>>
>>46400393
You. There is a I am a whiteknighting paladin and help damsels in distress for no money or other rewards,somewhere either on this site or another chan. Get your doofy-two-shoes loving ass over there.
YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE
>>
>>46400305
>Run over
We're not going to refuse daddy
>>
>>46400391
You close your eyes and spread your arms, waiting to be swept up in daddy's arms. He lifts you like a doll and squeezes you to his chest, blubbering as the thirteen armored men are beaten mercilessly with brutal axes and clubs by the green men.

"Oh, Vanessa my precious darling! I'm so sorry about what happened! I never meant for you to get hurt! Where did you get this dress? It doesn't matter! All that matters is I'm never letting you out of my arms again!"

You feel relaxed for the first time in days, and almost doze of there, but you perk back up when the emperor, now wielding a golden sword burning with golden flames, stands from his throne and demands order.

"Who dares enter my palace, attack my sons, and bring destruction upon my house!?"

Uncle Ray steps forward, but daddy puts a hand out to stop him. He passes you to Uncle Ray, and summons his own weapon, a large spear which he uses in both hands. Uncle Ray carries you out of the throne room, and the last thing you see is daddy pointing his weapon at the emperor, right as the doors shut.
>>
>>46400541
Cry to Uncle Ray, we want to see daddy delivering a beating to that mean person.
>>
>>46400541
RIP best dad, We knew thy well.
>>
>>46400561
seconded, i want to see his head roll with my own eyes, then take a trophy (was that emperor wearing a crown?)
>>
You stand before a decadent man glistening in gold. You have ridden for two days without sleep, and after much violent negotiations with these green men, have convinced them to aid you in infiltrating this palace in hopes that the witch you saved in the forest was telling the truth, and she did indeed come here.

Now this gilded peacock dares to stand between you and seeing her home and safely in her bed. His sons still thrash and wrestle with the green men, meaning this will be single combat.

"I ask again, who are you to trespass and defile my throne room?"

>"My name is of no consequence. You will not have time to commit it to memory."
>"I'm the Murderman, and I have a special delivery just for you."
>Silence
>Other
>>
>>46400599
Silence, Stare, the usual
>>
>>46400599
>>Silence
>>
>>46400599
oh shieet.
>other "I'm going to rip open your meatjacket and eat your heart"
>>
>>46400599
>Silence
>>
>>46400599
>Silence.
>>
>>46400645
You stare in utter silence as the emperor waits for his answer. He seems shaken at first, but then regains his confidence.

"Rather than banter back and forth, let's simply get this done and over with. Have at thee!" He cries as he charges you, bringing his sword down with great force. You raise your spear to block, and it is nearly knocked from your grip in one blow. You continue to parry his slashes one by one, watching for any open venue to attack. Unfortunately, he is quite skilled, and your strength is the only thing preventing him from breaking your guard and cutting you open.

>Call to the green men for help
>Try to go on the offensive
>Kick him in the nuts
>Other
>>
>>46400738

Spit in his face and call him a dirty slut
>>
>>46400738
>Try to go on the offensive
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH
>>
>>46400768
>>46400771
If we make him made it might give us an opportunity to stab him in his face
>>
>>46400738
>>Kick him in the nuts
Best move ever
>>
>>46400738
voting this >>46400768
>>
>>46400738
>Kick him in the nuts
>>
>>46400738
>>Kick him in the nuts
>>
>>46400800
Recalling that you are evil and therefore have no qualms with cheating, you knee the bastard in the crotch. Luckily he forgot his codpiece today, and crumbles like a house of cards. One swift stab does him in after that, and his sons are killed even more easily.

With this whole mess taken care of, so to speak, you decide to take a trophy. You grab the golden peacock's sword, a large and impressive blade of gold that burns with flames. It's not quite your taste, but a new finish and some reforging will make it perfect.
>>
>>46400738
>>Kick him in the nuts
>As you say "calculated"
>>
>>46401090
Can we hire the witch who made the candy house?
>>
>>46401090
Maybe we should add a spike on our boot, you know a codpiece piercer.
>>
File: 1458437193208.png (825 KB, 600x759)
825 KB
825 KB PNG
>>46401090
Wrapping here for today. I know it's short but this is just a little side story and this joke layout it hurting my eyes. Tomorrow we will continue our regularly scheduled story, complete with lovemaking, nation conquering, and slam dunking.

Thanks to everyone who came by despite the mess, I hope you come back tomorrow, and have a great day in the meantime!
>>
>>46401173
yaaaas
>>
>>46401173
best daughter? Also fuck ya, Love nation making!
>>
>>46401173
Thanks for running in this bullshit.
>>
>>46401173
Thanks for running mate. Let's hope the layout is back to normal tomorrow.
>>
>>46401090
I thought we sold our name for our hell fire sword. Is this a different one, or is that the cost of reforging it?



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