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>>46761531
This time, it's nothing life-threatening or potentially embarrassing- hell, on the whole, things have been going pretty well. When you'd jumped straight through Temptbleaches the Dutiful Chastity, you prepared yourself for the possibility that it'd dump you on the outskirts of Planeptune (requiring an overland journey), or throw you in the middle of the capital (requiring quick disguises to stop people from asking who this new goddess is, why she's named after Neptune, and why she's on fire).

Instead, you came out of the closet of Neptune's colorful, girlishly decorated room in the Basilicom, which is exactly where you needed to be. Or it would be, if Neptune would stop /distracting/ Nepgear at every opportunity, like she just NEEDS to give her new little sister the grand tour of her goddamn bedroom.

"Oneechan! Save meee!" Nepgear wails, keeping a deathgrip on her controller; her arms and elbows seem to go every which way, like she thinks moving the controller around will help her play better.

"Wahaha!" Neptune, despite having more experience, plays exactly the same damn way. It's a miracle neither of them have broken each others' cheeks yet. "Cry havoc, and let slip the Neps of war!"

... and, from the looks of it, the grand tour of Sega's gaming history. You tear your eyes away from their co-op game- Steel Slug or Metal Mollusk or whatever- and flop back against Neptune's bed, thick braids splaying behind you and digitized explosions ringing in your ears.

You stare, dead-eyed, at the ceiling, and drink from your barrel of booze.

... nope, you still have no fucking clue what chain of logic convinced Neptune's airheaded mind that this is the perfect time to introduce Nepgear to the wonderful world of video games, especially when you have fifty trillion other things you ought to be doing.

(Cont.)

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>>46761553
>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING, CHIHAYA KISARAGI EDITION:
[ ] [ENOUGH OF THIS] Channel your inner motherly figure and interrupt their game-playing. Shame on Neptune, you all have important things to do! Nepgear needs to be properly attuned to her nation's sharicite, they need the third Key Fragment, and time's a wasting.
[ ] [EXAMINE THE NEPCAVE] Rifle through Neptune's stuff. Read her books, [l]ook around, thoroughly search the area with [L], raid the fridge. If Neptune's too busy to help move the plot forward, then you'll damn well take advantage of it.
[ ] [EXPLORE THE PLANEPTUNE BASILICOM] Well, these two clearly aren't going anywhere, so you might as well explore the grand church of Planeptune and/or CPU Purple Heart while they're distracted.
[ ] [INDULGE THEM] Fine, let them have their fun. It's... unexpectedly nice, watching your surrogate little sister enjoy herself in her own element. Maybe you'll even join in a little. Give into the Nep.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>46761578
>[N] [EXPLORE THE PLANEPTUNE BASILICOM] Well, these two clearly aren't going anywhere, so you might as well explore the grand church of Planeptune and/or CPU Purple Heart while they're distracted.

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[x] [ENOUGH OF THIS] Channel your inner motherly figure and interrupt their game-playing. Shame on Neptune, you all have important things to do! Nepgear needs to be properly attuned to her nation's sharicite, they need the third Key Fragment, and time's a wasting.
Thanks for using my picture by the way, even through...
>3:39 AM

Good to see you again.

>>46761578
>[ ] [INDULGE THEM] Fine, let them have their fun. It's... unexpectedly nice, watching your surrogate little sister enjoy herself in her own element. Maybe you'll even join in a little. Give into the Nep.
Do it for Nepgear, tell her Onee-chan wants to play with her too

The theological implications of this are staggering, but those are questions for later
[X] [EXAMINE THE NEPCAVE] Rifle through Neptune's stuff. Read her books, [l]ook around, thoroughly search the area with [L], raid the fridge. If Neptune's too busy to help move the plot forward, then you'll damn well take advantage of it..
And by "Examine" I mean "Loot". Grab everything you can carry.

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>>46761578
>[ ] [ENOUGH OF THIS] Channel your inner motherly figure and interrupt their game-playing. Shame on Neptune, you all have important things to do! Nepgear needs to be properly attuned to her nation's sharicite, they need the third Key Fragment, and time's a wasting.
We have to be the responsible big sis for Nepgear. Cause Neptune sure as hell will never be.

>>46761578
>[ ] [EXAMINE THE NEPCAVE] Rifle through Neptune's stuff. Read her books, [l]ook around, thoroughly search the area with [L], raid the fridge. If Neptune's too busy to help move the plot forward, then you'll damn well take advantage of it.
read: rifle through drawers and pocket seganium and items of worth. Adventure mode does this, right?

>>46761578
>[ ] [EXPLORE THE PLANEPTUNE BASILICOM] Well, these two clearly aren't going anywhere, so you might as well explore the grand church of Planeptune and/or CPU Purple Heart while they're distracted.
So many engravings to admire.

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>>46761642
I think maybe hold the playing till at least Nepgear is attuned. Would be really bad to be this close and she suddenly goes poff on us.

>>46761578
>[ ] [ENOUGH OF THIS] Channel your inner motherly figure and interrupt their game-playing. Shame on Neptune, you all have important things to do! Nepgear needs to be properly attuned to her nation's sharicite, they need the third Key Fragment, and time's a wasting.

>>46761578
>[X] [EXAMINE THE NEPCAVE] Rifle through Neptune's stuff. Read her books, [l]ook around, thoroughly search the area with [L], raid the fridge. If Neptune's too busy to help move the plot forward, then you'll damn well take advantage of it.
Ignore the fridge, it's full of pudding. Neptune said she put the Key fragment in a drawer, right? Time to search the drawers! And pocket anything we can sell at a ridiculously high price later! Because she OWES us.

>>46761578
>[ ] [ENOUGH OF THIS] Channel your inner motherly figure and interrupt their game-playing. Shame on Neptune, you all have important things to do! Nepgear needs to be properly attuned to her nation's sharicite, they need the third Key Fragment, and time's a wasting.

via

>[ ] Channel your Histy and pull the plug and accidentally damage the camera lense.

Yay, Blorptime. Also 3:44 am.... don't care.

Also, if you make a personification of world fables, I would recommend red riding hood with her big musket/axe comco. (Big musket with axe blades at the front of the barrel)

>>46761578
>[ ] [ENOUGH OF THIS] Channel your inner motherly figure and interrupt their game-playing. Shame on Neptune, you all have important things to do! Nepgear needs to be properly attuned to her nation's sharicite, they need the third Key Fragment, and time's a wasting.


we got stuff to be doing and a buttrampant blanc waiting for us to advance the plot.
also the fact that bestnep might destabilize while this sheer retardation is going on is saddening.

>>46761578
>[ ] [EXAMINE THE NEPCAVE] Rifle through Neptune's stuff. Read her books, [l]ook around, thoroughly search the area with [L], raid the fridge. If Neptune's too busy to help move the plot forward, then you'll damn well take advantage of it.

>>46761578
>[ ] [EXAMINE THE NEPCAVE]
Check under the bed for dirty magazines! Catalog her fetishes for later use!

>[ ] [EXAMINE THE NEPCAVE] Rifle through Neptune's stuff. Read her books, [l]ook around, thoroughly search the area with [L], raid the fridge. If Neptune's too busy to help move the plot forward, then you'll damn well take advantage of it.
Nepgear has earned a bit of fun

>>46761730
>And pocket anything we can sell at a ridiculously high price later
Even the panties? Dude, that's Dwarf Fortress, not Elder Scrolls.

>>46761578
>[ ] [EXAMINE THE NEPCAVE] Rifle through Neptune's stuff. Read her books, [l]ook around, thoroughly search the area with [L], raid the fridge. If Neptune's too busy to help move the plot forward, then you'll damn well take advantage of it.
I thought this would never happen!

>>46761878
Well, I meant more any solid gold statues of herself eating pudding we came across.

She probably has at least two.

>>46761906
And you want to pocket them HOW?

Oh right. Dwarf Fortress logic.

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I actually want Urist to possess more people and summon more candidates.
Alternative version of the CPUs are fine too.

>>46761578
>[ ] [EXAMINE THE NEPCAVE] Rifle through Neptune's stuff. Read her books, [l]ook around, thoroughly search the area with [L], raid the fridge. If Neptune's too busy to help move the plot forward, then you'll damn well take advantage of it.
Maybe we can find those doodads we need

>>46761975
Nope, we need to Squat plutia a.....

>>46761975
>implying Urist isn't gonna end up full on god mode through sheer glitches and utter Neptune retardation.
>implying shes not already a borderline demigod

>>46761975
I'm half expecting the other goddesses to just get jealous of nepgear and do it themselves. I don't think Urist could handle any more of them anyway.

OKAY looks like [EXAMINING THE NEPCAVE] takes the cake- writing!

>>46761637
Thanks for your picture-crafting ways!

>>46761762
>>46761637
>3:39 AM
>3:44 am
JESUS, DUDES

>>46762029
i bet urist actually could because she seems legitimately underpowered based on how sheer bullshit her abilities actually are; like she barely can actually power her abilities normally and if she had the proportional power to cover her abilities normally she could probably take a couple of the CPU goddesses on herself.

>>46761553
Waaaait, hold the phone, they HAVE video games? But they sort of ARE video games. Do games exist that also have personifications? How does that work? And who's producing these games in Gamindustri, anyway?

>>46761975
Barring some truly horrific and practically impossible situations, possession won't happen again, sadly!

lol europe

>>46762100
I'm sure those will never happen again.

>>46762096
Vert is a canon hardcore gamer, and other official works show them playing vidya. So it's canon, although with 100% more existential crises, given the whole games personification thing going on in this quest.

Don't think too hard about it.

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>>46762039
You said we should shine on, so we did, dood.

So, how about enchanting our home fortress in such a way, that the bad guys need to assembly a "Khalims Will" like weapon out off 5pb, whose partes we have the pleasure to make out off her and disperse?

>>46762029
>Vert gets jealous of Nep getting a new little sister
>Deliberately reproduces the circumstances, swapping bodies with Mojang
>Didn't get the memo that Nepgear was a 100-to-1 odds happenstance that required Urist to work

>>46762125
>not thinking hard about it
>when the MC can casually break someones brain by stuffing a dragon in a 1 by 1 square any place she pleases, let alone most of the other shit she does on a regular basis.
i imagine existential crisis's are some of the least of concerns in gamindustri.

>>46762039
We europeans have trascended sleep, you see.

Do not worry, it's not like I'm sleeping at this hour any other day.

>>46762125
Apparently the only games that exist in in gamindustri are first party games if the dialogue is anything to go by. Every game mentioned is either developed directly by or sponsored by the nation.

>>46762125
>>46762178
Broken Physics are one thing, but where do the games COME from? Do they just appear in NPC shops when nobody's looking? Could a weak newbie adventurer like we started as pick up a copy of their own game to do research on their own abilities and tactics?

>>46762186
Haha jokes on you, it's ten in the morning out here. Technically I'm supposed to be working.

Technically.

>>46762221
my assumption was copies of each game type exist as games, and the main reason why everyone in Gamindustri doesn't break down into BSOD and glitches is due to the fact they almost never run into the copy of themselves in game form.

the worst part is one of the very few who wouldn't care at this point is probably the MC, due to already being broken as shit anyways.

>>46762221
Well, if I remember correctly, you have to unlock most of the more specialised abilities, either trough time or trough those prize/treasure cubes. Or semidivine Intervention.

>>46762295
Yeah, but knowing what you COULD get, or what tactics you should be using (Rolling right as Souls, etc) could be helpful.

>>46762288
I can actually see Urist sitting down for a nice relaxing session of proper Dwarf Fortress and enjoying herself while not having to deal with Gamindustry's bullshit

>>46762461
i could too.
i could also see some people flipping their shit over playing old games, such as rokko.

>>46762461
lol no pcs

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>>46762525
>no pcs

>>46762525
... there are PCs, or at least things that work like them. You usually do not see them. And no, they are not mac.
Where? In the guild buildings.

>>46762100
You're saying things like you have a choice.

>>46762125
>Vert is a canon hardcore gamer
but how
ps3 has no games

>>46762787
Good thing Vert is Xbox then.

>>46762809
holy FUCK I'm retarded
excuse me I have to go commit Sudoku

>>46762787
She is a hardcore PC gamer, mostly shown as Online Gamer with, for example 4 Goddesses Online.
She own multiple Computers according to ReBirth 2.

>>46761578
>[X] [EXAMINE THE NEPCAVE]

Fine. If Neptune's too busy reveling in her newly minted status as ~oneechan~ to even remember you exist, then you'll damn well take advantage of her distraction. You're not one for bragging, but between your keen adventurer's instincts and the strange glitches and/or laws of physics that you've made your own, you consider yourself pretty good at rifling through other people's personal property and looting their shit.

... not that you've had much of an opportunity to stretch your adventurer mode muscles. Given the sheer number of personifications who can pull entire life savings out of shattered pots and see nothing wrong with walking through locked front doors, specialized home security companies make a /killing/ in Gamindustri.

You slide off the goddess's bed and make your way to the nearest desk-and-bookshelf combo, trying to tune out Neptune's incessant shrieking and Nepgear's wails. Once you slide into her chair, a quick once-over reveals, to your total lack of surprise, that CPU Purple Heart isn't exactly one for heavy reading: her room is well-stocked with comic books, and the remaining shelves are filled with more video games.

You pluck a few at random from the bookcase, sliding the old-timey clear CD cases out just enough to see their titles before putting them back.

"Bionic the Hedgepig."
"Fantasy Starr."
"Panzerkampfwagen Wyvern-Rider."
"Knights into Dreams."

All off-label games. The universe gets touchy about these sorts of potential infinite loops, and retroactively tweaks game titles whenever a moe personification comes into existence. Gamindustri doesn't seem to give a shit that /THAT/ leads to more head-scratchers than it resolves, nor does it actually stop adventurers from playing their own... well, playing themselves.

(Cont.)

>>46763158
Few people bother. Apparently, it's like staring straight into an abyss reflected ad infinitum between two mirrors, and all the graphics in the world can't filter that sort of mindfuck from yourself.

It doesn't help that Gamindustri game developers have no way of knowing which of their games will become personified. For every one game that causes an adventurer to pop into existence, there are four that remain perfectly inert and don't need their titles edited...

So does Neptune keep games from her country's heritage because they're like interactive photo albums? Do they remind her of the good old days, and the best times of her life? Are they memorials to friends long gone? Or maybe they're just good games and you're thinking too hard about this-

You shake your head, pulling yourself back from the brink. Best not to think too hard about this, lest the universe start pushing back.

You stand back up and sneak a peek at the screen; Neptune and Nepgear are still totally engrossed by their game (Metal Mollusk, that's what it was). Looks like a boss fight, as far as you can tell; you've got a little more time.

Honestly, there's not that much more TO examine; a cursory examination of the fridge reveals that it's jam-packed with some sort of dessert-like substance, but as none of them are biscuits or roasts or cheeses or alcoholic, you ignore them for now. There's a cabinet and drawers, but they just contain clothes and frilly undergarments, so you also ignore them for now.

CPU Purple Heart's panties would probably sell for a ludicrously high price, but that would just be playing into Gamindustri's expectations. If you did that, you might as well slap on a sailor school uniform, stick a toaster in your mouth, and let all the anime rot your brain.

(Cont.)

>>46763188
No provisions, no weapons and armor, and no loose items that seem like something you can use as improvised throwing weapons to hilariously wreck some poor bastard's anatomy with.

... this goddess's room is considerably more boring than you'd imagined.

[ ] [KEY FRAGMENT] Rifle more thoroughly through Neptune's clothes for the third key fragment. You promised Histoire that you'd get her one step closer to being free. Besides, it'll also improve your line of communication with her, and you can't turn down the possibility of more information from the Oracle of Gamindustri.
[ ] [EAT THE PUDDINGS] Perhaps there's something here you're missing, some sort of hidden culinary gem that will give you positive thoughts. Perhaps it'l also hold the key to getting Neptune to stop playing that damn video game.
[ ] [ADMIRE THE VIEW] Look out the Basilicom window, and get the lay of the land from here. You've never been to Planeptune before, and the national church has a damn good view of all that's going on in the city.
[ ] [ENOUGH IS ENOUGH] Interrupt the gaming session, because you need to get Neptune's brain back in gear and shore up Nepgear's sense of responsibility, dammit.
[ ] [GIVE INTO THE NEP] You know what? Join in on their game. You only live once, after all, and you are also Nepgear's surrogate big sister. You're not jealous at all.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>46763214
>[X] [ENOUGH IS ENOUGH] Interrupt the gaming session, because you need to get Neptune's brain back in gear and shore up Nepgear's sense of responsibility, dammit.

>>46763214
>[ ] [KEY FRAGMENT] Rifle more thoroughly through Neptune's clothes for the third key fragment. You promised Histoire that you'd get her one st
Doodads now.

>>46763214
>[ ] [KEY FRAGMENT] Rifle more thoroughly through Neptune's clothes for the third key fragment. You promised Histoire that you'd get her one step closer to being free. Besides, it'll also improve your line of communication with her, and you can't turn down the possibility of more information from the Oracle of Gamindustri.
This can only lead to fun misunderstandings.

>>46763188
>stick a toaster in your mouth
I wonder if Urist actually thinks it's a toaster they stick in their mouth...

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>>46763214
>[ ] [ENOUGH IS ENOUGH] Interrupt the gaming session, because you need to get Neptune's brain back in gear and shore up Nepgear's sense of responsibility, dammit
Surely they can just pause the damn thing for a bit, yeah?

>>46763214
[X] [ENOUGH IS ENOUGH] Interrupt the gaming session, because you need to get Neptune's brain back in gear and shore up Nepgear's sense of responsibility, dammit.

the first option is a trap.

>>46763214
>[X] [KEY FRAGMENT] Rifle more thoroughly through Neptune's clothes for the third key fragment. You promised Histoire that you'd get her one step closer to being free. Besides, it'll also improve your line of communication with her, and you can't turn down the possibility of more information from the Oracle of Gamindustri.
[X][ALCOHOL] Surely everyone around Neptune needs some to get through their day. See if you can locate a stash and try some of teh local finery.

>>46763214
>[ ] [ENOUGH IS ENOUGH] Interrupt the gaming session, because you need to get Neptune's brain back in gear and shore up Nepgear's sense of responsibility, dammit

>>46763214
>[ ] [KEY FRAGMENT] Rifle more thoroughly through Neptune's clothes for the third key fragment. You promised Histoire that you'd get her one step closer to being free. Besides, it'll also improve your line of communication with her, and you can't turn down the possibility of more information from the Oracle of Gamindustri.

Also, to get Neptunes attention

>[ ] [THROW THE PUDDINGS]Preferably into Neptunes face when she is on a difficult spot in the game.

That should suffice to both find the Key Fragment and entertain yourself while you search the drawer.

>>46763188
[CHALLENGE NEPTUNE TO A GAME WITH THE KEY FRAGMENT AS THE PRIZE]

She won't be able to resist.

>>46763214
[ ] [EAT THE PUDDINGS] Perhaps there's something here you're missing, some sort of hidden culinary gem that will give you positive thoughts. Perhaps it'l also hold the key to getting Neptune to stop playing that damn video game.

>>46763214
>[X] [KEY FRAGMENT] Rifle more thoroughly through Neptune's clothes for the third key fragment. You promised Histoire that you'd get her one step closer to being free. Besides, it'll also improve your line of communication with her, and you can't turn down the possibility of more information from the Oracle of Gamindustri.

>[ ] [ENOUGH IS ENOUGH] Interrupt the gaming session, because you need to get Neptune's brain back in gear and shore up Nepgear's sense of responsibility, dammit
Nepgear deserved some fun, now she's had it. Time to make sure she doesn't vanish

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>>46763214
>[ ] [KEY FRAGMENT] Rifle more thoroughly through Neptune's clothes for the third key fragment. You promised Histoire that you'd get her one step closer to being free. Besides, it'll also improve your line of communication with her, and you can't turn down the possibility of more information from the Oracle of Gamindustri.
There's no way we'll trip and fall and end up wearing Neptune's panties on our head in a maid suit. Nothing can go wrong.

>>46763214
>[X] [ENOUGH IS ENOUGH] Interrupt the gaming session, because you need to get Neptune's brain back in gear and shore up Nepgear's sense of responsibility, dammit

>>46763287
>the first option is a trap.

...BLORP, make the Traps less obvious, so that we realize they are traps/smug bait, instead of disregarding them because tehy are too obvious.

>>46763214
>[ ] [KEY FRAGMENT] Rifle more thoroughly through Neptune's clothes for the third key fragment. You promised Histoire that you'd get her one step closer to being free. Besides, it'll also improve your line of communication with her, and you can't turn down the possibility of more information from the Oracle of Gamindustri.
>[ ] [ENOUGH IS ENOUGH] Interrupt the gaming session, because you need to get Neptune's brain back in gear and shore up Nepgear's sense of responsibility, dammit.

My first live thread. I'm so happy to finally join the fun.

>>46763287
Don't be dumb, nothing will go wrong.

>>46763344
It is deception. He put that there so the obvious trap diverts our attention from the hidden trap.

[X] [KEY FRAGMENT] Rifle more thoroughly through Neptune's clothes for the third key fragment. You promised Histoire that you'd get her one step closer to being free. Besides, it'll also improve your line of communication with her, and you can't turn down the possibility of more information from the Oracle of Gamindustri.

>>46763309
Change the Key Fragment to

>>46763214
>[ ] [ENOUGH IS ENOUGH] Interrupt the gaming session, because you need to get Neptune's brain back in gear and shore up Nepgear's sense of responsibility, dammit.

But keep the

>>[ ] [THROW THE PUDDINGS]Preferably into Neptunes face when she is on a difficult spot in the game.

>>46763287
>the first option is a trap.
You say that like this quest doesn't have a history of jumping head-first into every trap we see.

It's lead to only good times. And jagged spikes. But in a FUN way.

>>46763287
What, you don't like traps?

>>46763214
>[ ] [DUMP THE PUDDINGS]Into the Drawers.

This will probably lead to Neptune emptying her drawers in record time.... not for her clothes, but to get all the pudding.

[X] [KEY FRAGMENT] Rifle more thoroughly through Neptune's clothes for the third key fragment. You promised Histoire that you'd get her one step closer to being free. Besides, it'll also improve your line of communication with her, and you can't turn down the possibility of more information from the Oracle of Gamindustri.
Wasn't it in a drawer or something?
steal some jackets.

>>46763420
Everyone of even vague importance in Gamindustri is a girl, there are no traps.

>>46763420
it depends on how feminine the penis is

>>46763214
>[ ] [KEY FRAGMENT]

Right, looks like [KEY FRAGMENT] and [ENOUGH] are... pretty much tied, so I'll have to find some way to kludge them together! Writing.

>>46763344
Traps? What traps? Don't be silly. There are no traps. It's all in your imagination. There are never any traps.

>>46763345
Congrats! Hope you enjoy the ride, anon.

>>46763503
>Traps? What traps? Don't be silly. There are no traps. It's all in your imagination. There are never any traps.

That's right, it's not traps, it's just pits made with all the best craftsdwarfship, menacing with obsidian spikes, placed artistically under rugs.

>>46763503
>Traps? What traps? Don't be silly. There are no traps. It's all in your imagination. There are never any traps.

.... we will need to roll low on an percentile to not get mummy rot from the traps, don't we Blorp?

>>46763503
>Traps? What traps? Don't be silly. There are no traps. It's all in your imagination. There are never any traps.

SHADOWRUNS

>>46763503
...Let's hope Urist has a high enough Observer skill.

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>>46761531

I've awaited you.

>>46763214
[X] [ENOUGH IS ENOUGH]

So.

New Doom game.

Does this mean Doomgirl gets an UPGRADE?

>>46764037
It's not even out yet; just an open beta for the multiplayer that apparently a lot of people don't like for some reason or another

>>46764105
So, she rather gets a downgrade.

>>46764121
I rather she stay where she is currently, slaying monsters under our fortress. Since the new game isn't released yet, it shouldn't reflect onto her or her performance until it gets released in May.

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>>46763214
>[X] [KEY FRAGMENT]
>[X] [ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, FOR VERY PRESSING REASONS]

Right. Well, there aren't any fun diversions to be had with Neptune's junk, so you might as well move along to the one last thing you gotta do. Neptune claimed she's keeping that other Key Fragment in her bedroom drawers. You remember this very clearly because Blanc called her a goddamn genius for doing so, and there's no way you're forgetting /that/ once-in-a-lifetime occurrence.

Since you don't even want to bother pulling the goddesses away from their gaming session, you start rifling through Neptune's panties again.

That's not a phrase you ever thought you'd be using in a million years, but there it fucking is. You're just about elbows-deep in the damn things. Seems she favors the classic shimapan design, so there're enough stripes here that you half expect zebras to come bolting out, their camouflage ruined by your rummaging hands.

Just when you're about to give up, your hands encounter the unmistakable texture of... a rock. You've found the Planeptune Key Fragment, and just like all the other Key Fragments, it's a rock so aggressively mundane that even you can't tell what kind of a rock it's supposed to be. If you'd been paying more attention when you'd picked the first thing up, that right there should've raised a big red flag in your glitchy little mind.

... you're so busy chuckling about how you failed to pay attention back then that you fail to pay attention /again/.

There's some resistance as you start pulling out the Planeptune Key Fragment. Before your mind wakes up to that little fact, you've already pulled the Key Fragment free. In response, something in the drawer clicks loudly, audible even over the sounds of Neptune getting horribly defeated in-game.

(Cont.)

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>>46764465
For a moment, you stand frozen in front of Neptune's panty drawer. As it dawns on you that you may have fucked up greatly, the world around you takes on that familiar dreamlike quality as your brain scrambles to brace for the impact of your slightly delayed panic. A chain of logic marches through your brain, implacable and unstoppable:

Neptune is a noble.

Nobles are inherently annoying.

Therefore, it's entirely possible that whoever designed the Basilicom could have put in some sort of anti-noble mechanism, i.e. a lever-activated cleaning device that scours the entire room with magma if Neptune starts getting too uppity and requesting floor hatches made of sharicite.

Hell, it doesn't even matter that it could be an anti-theft device, because all YOUR anti-theft devices are functionally equivalent to anti-noble devices, in that they both involve obscene amounts of magma. You march over toward Neptune, keeping your voice admirably calm as you ask, out of innocent curiosity, if she routinely booby-traps her drawers.

"What? No, of course not! Why would I do that?" she fires back, not at all disturbed by the question- hell, she doesn't even look at you, her eyes still glued to the screen. "Deactivating traps just to get dressed in the morning would be super-hard mode, Urist!"

MotherFUCKER it's an anti-noble device.

(Cont.)

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>>46764489
Tucking the Key Fragment underneath your arm, you yank Neptune and Nepgear to their feet with strength born from terrified paranoia, the goddesses yelping in surprise as you drag them from their game. Okay, time to go!

"Oneechan, what's wrong!?"

"W-Wait! At least let me save-"

Nope, we'll come back later, you growl, letting go of Neptune just long enough to yank open the door and immediately come face to face with a foot of shiny steel plunging toward your chest and a quavery battle cry.

"DESU~!"

What the actual fuck.

>Urist Twelfthbay tries to jump aside!
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
DC: 65, Bonus: +5!

Rolled 22 + 5 (1d100 + 5)

>>46764506
DESU KA!?

Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>46764506
HUZZAH

Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>46764506

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>46764506
What is happening

>>46764536
>>46764541
That was too fucking close.

Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>46764506
Desu this motherfucker

Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>46764506

>>46764536
Mother. Fucking. Skill.

>>46764536
HAHAHAHAHA

>>46764541
Oh... oh my. That's even FUNNIER!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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>>46764536
>>46764541

>>46764536
"Go home and be a nurse man, Compa"

>>46764506
Blorp. Blooooorp. Guess what Bloooorp?

>>46764536
>>46764541
OGRES

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>>46764536
Oh wow

>>46764536
Urist kept some of the Nep nep reflexes it seems

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>>46764536
>>46764541
>100
>1, albeit one post late

oh

>>46764829
That means the 100 wins and the 1 is ignored, right?
If we're going full OGRES I expect to see Boss Bawss in a post or two.

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>>46764536
>>46764541

My body is ready.

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>46764829

Immediantly followed by double 80s!...?

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>>46764859

>>46764829
To honor the noble 100 in the top three, I think we should generously donate our fourth roll to Neptune.

>>46764859
STAHP

>>46764859
>>46764888
And I guess this is Nepgear's

Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>46764891

Never.

>>46764908
Nah, Neptune deserves a little DESU DESU DESU now and then, but Nepgear is as pure as any other pantheocide.

>>46765002
>pantheocide

She's as pure as the extermination of a pantheon? The fuck?

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>>46765034
I thought "pantheocide" was both the act and the person that commits the act.

Either way, in the Conquest End of mk2/RB2, Nepgear kills ALL the other Goddesses and Candidates, including her own sister, to power up a sword.

>>46765093
Erm. You could say she's pantheocidAL, in the same way that Hitler was genocidal rather than A genocide.

>>46765093
Nepgear looses a roaring laughter, fell and terrible!

Sniff... I'm so proud of her!

>>46765093
I know it works like that for regicide, dunno if it's the same for the other -cides.

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>>46764506
>100
>DC....... PASSED WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE
>1
>DC....... WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

You're perfectly happy being a dwarf. You wouldn't trade it for anything in the entire universe. Hell, the short time spent in the body of Neptune and/or CPU Purple Heart was your most harrowing experience by far, simply because you weren't /yourself/.

Even you have to admit that at this moment, you feel a gaping hole in your senses. You'd gotten far too used to having goddessly reflexes. With CPU Purple Heart's abilities, you'd have been able to see this attack coming as if it was in slow-motion, and then have all the time in the world to get out of its way, but not before beating ten kinds of shit out of your attacker.

As the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress, you can barely parse what's going on. The good news is, this time around, you really don't /need/ to, because your perfectly mortal reflexes apparently don't give a fuck.

You vaguely register a steel-tipped peach-colored syringe-ish blur driving toward you, but there's already a shot of adrenaline searing through your veins. Time to wrestle. Letting go of Nepgear, you twirl effortlessly out of the way and instinctively start raising your hands in a defensive posture, but when they're only halfway up-

There's a whip-snap and a stinging pain in your palm as one hand slaps against something warm and soft (and there's a scandalized SHRIEK that rings your eardrums), but there's no time to mull THAT over. Another blur of metal spins your way, a swirl of blue fabric that's all sharp edges and sharper green eyes.

Hissing in terror, you blindly duck under the cutting edges buzzing by your braids and pray you don't get sliced up, bringing your arms up to guard your face- but either you or your attacker misgauged your relative positions, and your hands slam into... something warm and soft, and there's another scandalized shriek.

(Cont.)

>>46765405
oh god temptbeaches is back.

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>>46765405
You stand frozen for a second or two before realizing that the attacks have stopped. Glancing back over your shoulder, you note that the Neps are unharmed, and.... Nepgear's staring at you with something akin to scandalized awe, her eyes as wide as saucers, while Neptune's clapping quietly, her mouth a perfect 'O.'

You turn to look at your attackers. They're... not getting back up anytime soon.

"I can't get married now... I can't get married now..." the fuzzy peach sweater girl murmurs brokenly, hugging her knees to her chest and rocking back and forth. Her syringe lies forgotten next to her.

The other attacker, a brunette in a blue trenchcoat wielding some sort of punching blades, kneels with an arm wrapped protectively around her chest. Her face is red, and she glares at you like she's trying her hardest to kill you with her eyes alone. "Damn it... of course an agent of Arfoire would resort to dirty tricks!"

What the hell is she talking about? WHAT dirty tricks?

"Combat spanking!" Neptune cuts in brightly before either of your attackers can. "I mean, wowzers, I've never seen anything like what you just pulled off! They didn't get a scratch on you, even though your hands... y'know!" she chirrups, miming what looks like a particularly enthusiastic high-five.

Except much, much lower.

"Oneechan..." Nepgear murmurs, her hands clasped against her mouth in scandalized judgment, and a different sort of panic slides down your spine. "Is that... is that how dwarves normally fight?"

What!? No! Armok help you, you didn't- no!!

"Estelle will be proud, young adventurer," Neptune intones solemnly, the effect someone ruined by the shit-eating grin tugging at her lips. "Because seriously, /wow/!"

No! NO! That was all Gamindustri's bullshit! You didn't-

"I'm telling Mojang when we get back," Nepgear murmurs decisively.

NooooooooOOOOOO-

[TO BE CONTINUED NEXT THREAD]

>>46765449
please kill me

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RIGHT, that's a terrible place to end the terrible thread, but end it here I must!

We'll pick up next time on April 22, Friday, starting from about 9-ish pm EST! As always, updates will go up at https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest, and questions (backed up as they are) can go to ask.fm/BlorpQuest.

Thanks for participating, guys! Hopefully, you guys enjoyed this kinda-sorta-rehab thread, and I'll catch you next time!

>>46765449
My 1 caused this. Even though it was a post too late.

I'm sorry, Urist. No one is happy with this.

>>46765449
alright, who are these people?

Who the fuck wears a blue trenchcoat?

>>46765483
Thanks for the thread, Blorp! Good to have you back!

Sleep well!

>>46765558
>The blue trenchcoat girl is IF
.....that jacket is a trenchcoat?

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>>46765486
The blue trenchcoat girl is IF. The other girl in the fuzzy peach sweater is Compa. They're the representations of Idea Factory and Compile Heart, respectively, and are Neptune's friends in all Neptunia continuities.

>>46765449
You ruined it all, Urist. You ruined your relationship with a Nepgear. She will never ever will consider you her BIG SIS.
YOU DESTROYED IT ALL!

>>46765587
>>46765573
holy shit, it IS a trenchcoat. I've never played the games, and spent so much time seeing the upper 2/3 of the characters that I never realized how long the trenchcoat was.

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>>46765486
>Who the fuck wears a blue trenchcoat?

Get MOTIVATED anon.

>>46765405
>>46765449
Super hidoi Urist.

Thanks a lot for running Blorp, see you next time.

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>>46765449
...really

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Fun fact: doing that to a female is like giving a man's crotch a solid kick. Meaning that they would actually be squirming on the floor to busy with pain and trying to breathe to worry about marriage (with Lady Vert, for example) or Arfoire's tricks.

>>46765483
Don't push yourself, Blorp.

Also, again, a thread where I go to sleep a little bit and wake up shortly after Blorp gave his Thread end post.

But still, we successfully Johnny Caged both Compa and IF without really thinking.

Hope for great threads in the future... and even if I am willing to wait long for a good post, could you please be fast than less than 1 Storyupdate per hour.

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>>46765405
>>46765449
We finally get a crit on the d100 in the first three and Urist's badass moment was still spoiled by that damn late 1.

>>46765695
We grabbed their arse, not their fanny.

>>46765830
>spoiled
>not improved

>>46765831
>kneels with an arm wrapped protectively around her chest.

>>46765695
>>46765831
It was their boobs, that's why IF is holding her chest. Not that there's anything there.

>>46765831
We didn't grab their ass, we gave them a Gamindustri handshake.

>>46765831
fucking Europeans

efficient AND effective

>>46765845
Wasn't for me. Urist just can't get a break, even with a crit.

So I just realized why leaving Doom girl to her own devices was a bad idea. mining ad-COTTON CANDY isn't the only way to reach he-THE CIRCUS, she might find a curious stru-CIRCUS TENT if we're unlucky.

>>46765859
I think for once, that those are just generic "Ouch, that bloody hurt." reactions.
Also, soft flesh with multiple nerveendings and therefore very sensitive are both arse, breasts and crotch/vagina, so theoretically we could have hit all three regions at both Compa and IF.
The bottom line is, that we hit them very hard where it should really hurt.

>>46765908
I would think that coming out unharmed counts as a break.

...although if it pushed her closer to a tantrum spiral, I suppose it's a net negative.

>>46765928
>Worried about doom girl fighting demons
>doomgirl
>fighting demons

anon I can tell you right now nothing would make her happier than demons appearing.

>>46765979
You don't seem to understand. The problem isn't the demons, it's the inevitable lag spiral that comes along with them. They're almost as bad as cats.

>>46765979
Well, her kind of demons are not Urist kind of demons.
Doomgirls are all rather fleshy and rather easily turned into chunky meat salsa, while Urists are more like mix and max horror abominations, some of them pathetic, but other could easily give everything in the Cthulhu mythos and its derivates a run for their money, mate.

>>46766063
The only not so easily killed one is the cyberdemon, who originally was heavily injured by Doomgirls ancestor Wolfa, who sadly was unable to finish it off before it could retreat, repair and revenge itself by invading the place where the descendent of Wolfa worked. (Pedantic alarm)

So would it be masturbation for games to play themselves?

>>46766222
It's a mind fuck. And not a particularly enjoyable one. Mostly just confusing.

>>46765830
I'm sorry! I didn't want things to be this way.
It was inevitable.

Since we met IF, how long do you give her until she goes into chuuni mode?

>>46766241
I'm not sure I get why exactly. Like, yeah, thinking too hard about your shared origins might be an issue, but surely just PLAYING the game couldn't hurt any more than a football player playing Madden 2017 would.
But yeah I do wonder if anyone is fully aware that there's another world where the games come from (that is, ours). They know they're based on games, and they get confused when physics don't act how they do in their games, and they're aware of things they can do in their games even if they haven't been able to do them yet in Gamindustri...

>>46762601
>the PCs control the guilds
Oh now it's all clear, the underpinning of gamindustry is EMULATORS!

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>>46766353
Not long.

>>46765449
>"Combat spanking!"
Silly Neptune, that's not the right place.

>>46766402
It's the circular logic involved being amplified by computer BS. There's a lot of metaphysical stuff happening in the background, and this is Gamindustri we're talking about.
This is minor bug inducing territory.

>>46762820
It's sepoku you Moron

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>>46768103
Lurk more.

>>46768124
No also DAMMIT IM LATE

So... I find that I found a HDFQ thread in progress, read down to Blorp's last post, and find out that I actually missed it.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Re: just above. Also, first post on 4chan. I don't know whether to be proud of that or not.

>>46769842
Because he starts it at 3:00 AM?

>>46769856
For me, because he ends at 8am and my job requires me to be in bed by 10pm.

>>46770394
>having a job
HAHAHAHAHahahahaahaaa... I made myself sad.

>>46770606
30k/Year PLUS BENEFITS vs. Blorp...

I think you're winning.

>>46770790
But I don't eat.

>>46765449
>combat spanking
DAMAGE CONTROL
WE NEED TO MAKE SURE NO ONE EVER MENTIONS ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED THERE TO EITHER MOJANG, BLANC OR ESTELLE, ESPECIALLY NOT ESTELLE.