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File: Bluegill.jpg (31 KB, 400x400)
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Rolled 9, 3 = 12 (2d10)

Welcome back, swashbucklers, to part two of Mecha Space Pirate Quest's 18th installment! As always, you are Roarke S. Starwind, Admiral of the Iron Kestrels space pirate fleet, master of the starship Rhinehawk, and pilot of the Knuckle Kaiser.

Previous Threads: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Mecha+Space+Pirate+Quest%2C+Collective+Game%2C+mecha
Master Pastebin: http://pastebin.com/sSHs0QmF
Upgrade Menu: http://pastebin.com/QQQzkFZe
List of Moves: http://pastebin.com/HSdyCe2y
Rogues' Gallery: http://pastebin.com/E9ZcDLfG

Last time, we left off in mid-combat. You've already rendered two Bluegills unable to fight, and have just ripped the sword arm off a third. Red Siren, behind you, is still facing down two after slicing open a third with her wrist-mounted continuous-beam guns. Although she's outnumbered, she has two holographic shadows flickering around her in an elaborate martial dance that make it look as though the opposite is the case.

Your opponent considers his options. His Bluegill, one-armed and no longer holding a weapon capable of penetrating the armor Karen has put her heart into perfecting for you, standing against the Knuckle Kaiser, which towers over it like a monster out of ancient legend, its triangular-toothed, sharklike grin mere meters from the blank faceplate of the UJCIDF mech, flexing its gigantic armor-rending claws.

The Bluegill throws down its beam gun, which bounces off and floats away into space, holds its remaining hand up, and goes to sit down quietly at the base of one of the transport ship's fins, somehow looking very, very ashamed of itself.

[Continued, rolling initiative for two new challengers, both have +3]
>>
>>47273446

...But before that, you need stats for these guys, don't you?

UJCIDF PUMPKINSEED
Medium Striker Torso: C/S/K 8, 4 tons
Medium Striker Head: C/S/K 4, 2 tons
Medium Striker L. Arm: C/S/K 5, 2 tons
Left Hand: 2 CP, 1 Space, 1 Kill, 0.5 tons
Medium Striker R. Arm: C/S/K 5, 2 tons
Right Hand: 2 CP, 1 Space, 1 Kill, 0.5 tons
Medium Striker L. Leg: C/S/K 5, 2 tons
Medium Striker R. Leg: C/S/K 5, 2 tons

Armor: Heavy Striker (5 SP, 5 CP, 2.5 tons) on all locations

Main Sensors (Head): 4 CP, 1 Space, 2 Kills, 1 ton
Backup Sensors (Torso): 2 CP, 2 Spaces, 2 Kills, 1 ton

Options: Torso Cockpit with Environment Pod (2 CP, 2 Spaces), Torso Storage Module (1 CP, 1 Space), Liftwire (0.3 CP), Spotlights (0.2 CP)

Armament: The Pumpkinseed always has a fold-out vibro-gladius in its right arm. Normal Pumpkinseeds will also have a small shield on the left arm, along with a handheld version of a Medium Beam Gun, Rocket Pod, or Rocket Launcher. Another variant, the Cannon Pumpkinseed, also exists, but in keeping with the modular nature of Jovian mecha this one is simply a normal Pumpkinseed that trades the shield and the ranged option for a Heavy Cannon.
Arm-Mounted Sword: WA +1, 5K, 4 CP, 4 Spaces, 2.5 tons
Arm-Mounted Small Shield: DA -1, SP 6, 7.5 CP, 3 tons
Handheld Medium Beam Gun: Range 350m, WA +1, 3K, Infinite Ammo, 5 CP, 4 Spaces, 1.5 tons
Handheld Rocket Launcher: Range 350m, WA 0, 4K, 10 rockets (can be fired singly or in a salvo), 4 CP, 4 Spaces, 1.5 tons
Handheld Rocket Pod: Range 250m, WA -1, 2K, 20 rockets (can be fired singly or in a salvo), 4 CP, 4 Spaces, 1.5 tons
Handheld Heavy Cannon: Range 450m, WA 0, 9K, Ammo 10, 3 Reloads, 12 CP, 9 Spaces, 4.5 tons

Thrusters & Speed: 5 per leg, 1 in the torso. Moves 350 meters per turn in flight, or can run 250m. 11 CP.
Total Weight: 39 tons
Total Cost: 103 CP
>>
>>47273515
Is that what a pumpkinseed looks like?
Man fuck those guys, that shield throw was some bullshit.
>>
Two familiar machines come zipping up over the edge of the ship from where its small twin catapults are located. Larger than the Bluegill, but built along similar lines, they have a graceful, long-limbed look to them that epitomizes the aesthetic of Bahamutcorp space-combat mecha. Their heads are shaped like old-fashioned frogmouth jousting helmets, the shallow V of the 'eyeslit' glowing orange. Like the Bluegills, they're painted a pale bluish green, with division and serial number in white on their pauldrons.

One of them is the cannon variant, lacking a forearm shield and instead toting a huge rifle. While the other actively climbs up towards you and charges into melee range, the second (the one who beat your initiative) jets upwards to a height that puts it roughly 350m from you.

However, forewarned is forearmed, and your arms and reach outmatch that of the melee Pumpkinseed charging you, allowing you to attack first. The Cannon Pumpkinseed is no threat this turn, spending both Actions on movement.

>[What do, Roarke Starwind? You might as well feed me 1d10+14s since you're going to attack.]
>>
>>47273576
Look at the bright side. At least they haven't developed giant wheels for bluegills to ride in when fighting in gravity conditions.
>>
>>47273576

Not quite. For one, they're green, they've got sort of a swallowtail-shaped backskirt covering a torso thruster and fin-shaped thruster cowls at various places on the legs. Their shield also isn't large and round, but more of a pillbug-shaped gauntlet-and-bracer cover on the left arm. Plus they have swords instead of large maces. They're also green.

Otherwise, yeah, pretty similar.
>>
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>>47273674
>implying they haven't
>>
Rolled 6 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47273667
Disarm the sword knight. Since he isn't using a heavy cannon he can't do anything to us without the sword. Two punches out of 8 is enough to destroy it. Then we move on to the cannon knight. Still keeping with our no casualty stance.

Show this melee mech why our mech is called the Knuckle Kaiser and not after some fruit.
>>
Rolled 3 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47273667
Well, the right arm is the one we want gone due to the built in sword, though with experience from before, we should keep ourselves positioned out of cannon seed's line of fire.
>>
Rolled 6 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47273515
Man, that suddenly looks like some /ss/ shit.

>>47273667
"Disarm" them. Get it? DIS ARM? Heh. Yeah. Great at jokes and shit.
>>
Rolled 7 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47273667
Can we finally get our hot blood flowing? Gotta test these pirate hunters out. We'll be fighting a whole bunch of them in upcoming war.
>>
Rolled 2 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47273667
disable the right arm, use the rest of him as a shield
>>
Rolled 9 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47273667

Destroy the sword arm and then grapple can the cannon! We are too slow to get there without spending both turns (right?).
>>
>>47273897
well if I recall our grapple hook is likely long enough to bind them and if bound they cannot use their cannon.
>>
>>47273758
>Ruin Sentinel /ss/

doujins when!?
>>
>>47273897
Grapple-chan can reach 400 meters and likes yoga so is flexible enough to disable one of the cannon hand. Just gotta roll high on that pin. I believe in you Grapple-chan!
>>
Rolled 7, 10, 8, 10 = 35 (4d10)

>>47273719

Well, there go my sides again.

>>47273726
>>47273747
>>47273758
>>47273854

If you destroy the right arm, what are your supplementary targets?

Like the Bluegills, these guys are B-Class Mooks with +11 after taking their mech's weight into account.
>>
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>>47273947
>grapple-chan desperately wants to wrap around another mechs cannon
>>
>>47274003
The head. One punch is enough to destroy it. Also makes them look like a fool.
>>
>>47274036
>>
>>47274052

We get a free second hit on the same location whenever we land a punch, bro. We just tore off its right arm already, it looks like. Plus, I like grappling the sword one or using our hookshot on the cannon one better.
>>
>>47274003
The Einerad was apparently pretty strong too. The wheel could withstand beam weapons and was often used to just run other mechs over.
>>
>>47274098

I first played through the Painted World on a very small TV with awful contrast. Bonewheels were the worst part of everything, because they're hard to see at a distance and like dark places. At least I always made heavy meleeists with greatswords and such, if I'd been a caster it would have been a real "pick up the soap, Chosen Undead" scenario.
>>
>>47274091
We can hit the melee pumpkin 4 times in one action. Two to destroy arm, One to destroy head.

I'm assuming we are using the last action to grapple the cannon guy since we don't have enough speed to reach him in one action otherwise.
>>
>>47274135
Should we be on the lookout for wheel mechs now Wong?
Is clemmy's mech just a wheel skeleton with stilettos?
>>
>>47274148

This is incorrect. You may attack twice with your punch per Action because it has the Quick property. If it hits with either of those, you get a free second hit at that location. You don't get to turn that free second hit into a grapple attack, using the grapple once is itself an Action.

So for instance, you could make two attack rolls (potentially four hits) on the melee Pumpkinseed, and use your second Action to launch your harpoon at the cannon Pumpkinseed.
>>
>>47274180
no anon, she has TWO wheels. also we should totally make wheels of our own.
>>
>>47274228
The upgrade to the mech in the picture is a mech that has the wheel built in so people couldnt take it away.
>>
>>47274221
That's what I said though.
>>
Since Thunderbird is late.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6iimHE85EZZdTkwcHVxT2ZxWXc/view?usp=docslist_api
>>
>>47273936
>Shota in the doujin manages to turn the tables on the sentinel that is on him, and slips away

>panting, he turns the corner and two more sentinels staring him down with knowing smiles

Want.
>>
File: Krag_Bowie_Bayonet[1].jpg (885 KB, 1684x822)
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Rolled 2, 5 = 7 (2d10)

>>47273936

'(Take on me!)'

'TAKE ME OOOOOOOOOOOOON~'

'(Take on me!)'

This Pumpkinseed has the most common vibro-gladius shape employed by the UJCIDF, the so-called Big Bowie. As you might expect, it looks like a big, wide knife proportionately sized like a sword, with a shallow hook at the tip. With a flawlessly practiced four-step it whips its right arm down towards you, the blade extending to its deployed configuration as it does.

You don't wait for it, you turn your mech's body sideways, tighten the electromagnetic clamps holding your feet to the deck, and as his arm moves past you you grab it with both of yours and flip the smaller machine head over heels so that it slams down on its back on the deck, before you lean in and clamp your left fist's fingers around its shoulder, activating the rippers in your palm and fingers to shred the metal. The arm comes off, and just as the Cannon Pumpkinseed reaches its desired altitude you point your right arm at it and fire the grappling harpoon.

'I'll be gone...' Murmurs A-Ha as the smart microdrones wrap the cable several times around the Cannon Pumpkinseed's wrist, jerking its arm out straight towards you and ruining its attempts to shoot.

The Cannon Pumpkinseed doesn't hesitate, it fires all of its thrusters in a frenzy and jerks around like a bee caught in a spiderweb, doing its best to pull free (in other words, two Escape attempts, if the first one succeeds it will do a cannon shot at you instead, opposed Reflexes+Mecha Fighting - mech's weight penalty basically)

'In a day or twoooo~~~~~~'

[Rolling against >>47273873 and >>47273897 If the first Escape attempt succeeds the second Anon has your escape roll]
>>
>>47274466

And nope. He's still grappled, and it's your move. What do, space warrior?
>>
>>47274359
> Shota manages to summon NPC phantom bellclaire, she just stands there and watches
>>
>>47274359

Technically speaking he should laboriously climb down from that balcony you 'fight' the first one on only to find the other two waiting for him below.
>>
>>47274476
Beat him up with his buddies arm.
>>
Rolled 5 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47274476
Grapple-Chan is stronk. Is it 50m or 100m per point we beat them by?

Pull the cannon mech in. We have a chance to get him towards us in just one action. If you guys want to look like a cool cat, we can pull with the last action. OR if we are in range. Charge and DROP KICK.
>>
>>47274513
Yeah, but what sort of an moron would drop down into a hole after they're exhausted, right?

We're all fucking idiots. Dammit.
>>
Rolled 8 + 11 (1d10 + 11)

>>47274529

So, you wish to perform the Grapple Drag maneuver? Opposed Mecha Fighting roll, +1 for every weight category you have over him (so since you're at 59.5 and he's at 39, you get +2). For each point you beat the enemy by, you drag him 100m closer. If he enters your melee range (he's 350m away, so you need to beat his roll by 3 to get him adjacent to you) you get a free Ram or Dropkick attempt.

>>47274548

Or I could get beaten to it. Your total there is 21, let's see how well this pilot does...
>>
>>47274548
>>47274621

150m away now. Do you wish to use your second action on another try?
>>
Rolled 8 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47274648
Another try!
>>
Rolled 10 + 11 (1d10 + 11)

>>47274656
>>
>>47274359
>[ESTUS INTENSIFIES]
>>
>>47274656
>>47274673
Can't he not resist since we have 3 points higher of a modifier and we rolled an 8?
>>
>>47274656
He has no way to beat that a 24. We got him boys! He goes barreling towards us so fast that our drop kick destroys his arm. 8K damage
>>
Rolled 9 + 11 (1d10 + 11)

>>47274656
>>47274673

24 (you get +2 from your weight difference) versus 21! Poor. Little. Pumpkinseed.

I'm assuming you want to dropkick, so gimme another! This one should be 1d10+12 because of the -2 WA on dropkicks.
>>
Rolled 1 + 12 (1d10 + 12)

>>47274718
>>
Rolled 10 + 12 (1d10 + 12)

>>47274718
I wonder what's going through his mind.
>>
>>47274699

The Pumpkinseed pilot still gets a chance to dodge, and is rolling amazingly well.
>>
>>47274727
Oh. Thanks, anon. Good talk
>>
>>47274730

I'll throw +2 on there and use it as a dodge roll. It doesn't matter what the attacker in this case had because you rolled a 10 and your bonus is bigger.
>>
>>47274749
that pilot must be screaming I WILL NOT JOB inside that cockpit of his.
>>
Don't these guys have no chance at all of beating us? Why are we spending so much time on this fight?
>>
>>47274797
I'm sure the biggest thought going through his head right now is "AAAAHHHHHH FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCK!".
>>
>>47274849
They dont get paid to not fight and its hard to kidnap people with giant robots buzzing around you.
>>
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Rolled 1, 4 = 5 (2d10)

"KYAAAAAAA~!" Echoes over the comms, "D-DON'T TANGLE MEEEEE!"

You begin retracting the cord, while the high-pitched, feminine voice from the Cannon Pumpkinseed temporarily drowns out A-Ha.

"NOOOO DON'T PULLLLL!" The pilot wails. She's thrashing around as best she can, but the Kaiser is just too strong. It takes effort and all your attention, the UJCIDF mech named after a sunfish is fighting like a big gar.

"MISTER STARWIND DOOON'T I DON'T WANNA GET SMASHED I'LL SHOW YOU MY T-T-TITS ON V-V-VIDCOMM OR WHATEVER YOU WAAAAANT!" She wails as you drag her into melee range.

You try to kick her, but she zips right out of the way at the end of her now-quite-short tether as you spot motion out of the corner of your eye.

"LET GO OF HER YOU BASTARD!" Roars a tomboyish but still distinctly female voice, presumably from the melee Pumpkinseed you disarmed. Its right arm might be nothing but some sparking cables emerging from its shoulder now, but its left arm still works fine, and it's dropped its rocket pod to grab one of the discarded handheld swords the Bluegills held, charging at you clumsily and flipping the sword around into a reverse grip to try and cut the cord. You tag her elbow with the tip of your shield and casually send her sprawling in zero-g, although she still has the sword in her left hand. The Bluegill is still huddled, covering its face with its remaining hand. That's its sword the Pumpkinseed nee-san has.

>[The Cannon Pumpkinseed is going to try, again, what it did last turn, making two escape attempts and if the first succeeds it will try shooting you with the second. You know what to roll, lads! Also, the picture is just one I grabbed off google, you don't really know what she looks like. +11 to both rolls, for her.]
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>47274879
Hey Wong sorry I missed yesterday.
>>
>>47274879
oh jeez, that made me laugh. can we later find their address and send them starwind themed merchandise?
>>
>>47274849

The maximum mecha complement of this vessel is 20. It might not be carrying its full load, but it can definitely take more than the eight machines you've seen emerge from it so far. In fact, it should be somewhat ominous that two have been emerging every turn and you didn't see any more this time.
>>
>>47274879
What are the mechanics involved in beating a motherfucker with another motherfucker?
>>
Rolled 10 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47274879
Damn. We are on TV so we can't seed the pumpkin. We can still fondle her good though.

Punch the melee mech's last arm. Then if we do punch the cannon mech's arms.
>>
Free tits you say?

NO! Focus! We're here for kidnapping!
>>
>>47274916

Hm, really it should be something like making a WA+0 Mecha Fighting roll against both enemies, and if sucessful against both it's the same as if one rammed the other.
>>
>>47274879
can we flirt with the tangled mech while we finish disarming her? i think it will be fun.
>>
Rolled 3 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47274879
I suggest we recruit her. Her reactions pretty fun
>>
>>47274907
>>47274945

It's okay Sleepy! Also, poor Cannon Girl has failed to extract herself from your villainous clutches.

Meaning that now it's your turn to decide what you want to do and roll for it.
>>
>>47274960
You say that like those two things are mutually exclusive.

The real question is - does tit girl give upgrades?
>>
>>47274974

Yes, but I'm telling you now there's no upgrade for sleeping with her beyond the satisfaction of defiling military girls.

Give it your all, Roarke Starwind!
>>
Rolled 4 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47274995
Reel her in and dropkick? Or just dropkick?
>>
Checking out the rules for this anime mech fighting game and the very second fucking weapon I see is a goddamn boomerang. Not even a mecha sized one, just a regular boomerang.
>>
>>47274995

Oops, meant to include you >>47274979

I had to ignore Sleepy's roll since it wasn't formatted properly. Poor Sleepy.
>>
Rolled 10 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47274995
>Punch the melee mech's last arm. Then if we do punch the cannon mech's arms.

>>47275010
Can we also work on Catherine Zeta Jones? Sometimes we need girls that are quiet and just listen to you, you know?
>>
>>47275010
eh, it's enough. hopefully it might also help us a little bit in recovering our tainted reputation.
>>
>>47275021

You can't actually do either since she's already in melee range. You dragged her into hug/punch distance last turn.
>>
>>47275043
>kidnap and defile a merc defending a ship
>expecting this to improve your reputation
>>
>>47275031

I'll tell you now that pilot isn't Catherine Zeta Jones since I don't know much about her. Quiet is fine, though. Again, no upgrades.
>>
>>47275061
we don't need to do that. we could just kidnap her and have a nice dinner. then let her go on her merry way.
>>
Consensus is on striking the arms, so I need at least a few more rolls.

>>47275061
>Merc
>>
Rolled 10 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47275090
>>
>>47275090
She could be the queen of sheba, it doesn't make a bit of difference.
>>
Rolled 5 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47275090
>>
Rolled 2 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47275090
>>
>>47275079

...And now I'm tempted to make her Catherine Zeta Jones. Although privately I decided after the Tarrasque battle that she and the somewhat hapless Bluegill Pilot Uno are dating.
>>
>>47275139
Good job, Uno
>>
Rolled 1 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47275090

>>47275139
NO! Don't do this to me, your comrade!

>Again, no upgrades.
Implying groping a booty so smooth I can't believe it's not butter isn't an upgrade in and of itself.
>>
Rolled 10, 3, 8, 9 = 30 (4d10)

>>47275021
>>47275031
>>47275120
>>47275133

>kyaa intensifies!
>+11!
>>
>>47275165

Melee Pumpkinseed has lost its other arm, and Cannon Pumpkinseed is now missing its right arm. Typing now!
>>
>>47275165
Dem rolls
>>
Littlw late but still in time to fuck some mechs up

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6iimHE85EZZdTkwcHVxT2ZxWXc/view?usp=docslist_api
>>
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You're missing a decent chunk of your song as two women wail at you, and you can hear Red Siren laughing her ass off over the comms too, her Archen holding onto itself as she sits on the trio of scrapped but not destroyed Bluegills, mostly reduced just to torsos by now. Some people would pay fortunes to be sat on by Red Siren.

"I SAID LET HER GO YOU SON OF A BIIIIIITCH!" First, the mouthy one. She ducks your first punch, but stumbles over broken Bluegill parts on the second and takes your left fist right on the elbow. It cracks badly, and you lean a little to the left and pop her in the same spot with your right fist, the drills on the knuckles slicing through her servos like butter. You shove her chest and she goes stumbling backwards.

You're getting viddcomm requests from the Cannon Pumpkinseed, but you know that thing could do some damage if it got lucky with its big, heavy weapon.

"NOOOOO DOOOON'T SMAAAASH MEEEE I DON'T WANNA DIE A VIRGIIIIIIN" The Cannon Pumpkinseed kicks its legs, only tangling itself worse in the harpoon's cable, "I-I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT JUST DON'T SMAAAASH MEEEE! I-ISN'T IT MEAN ENOUGH TO HAVE ME ALL WRAPPED UP LIKE THIS!? WHY WOULD YOU BULLY A CUTE GIRL!?"

You gently rip her machine's right arm off while she's squirming around. It frees her from the cable, but also leaves her disarmed unless she tries to copy her friend...who is yelling loudly at her for being a coward and a crybaby...and grab a sword in her left hand.

"W-wait I'm free? Thank you!" The one-armed Cannon Pumpkinseed throws her remaining arm around the Knuckle Kaiser, lifting one of her mech's heels almost to her mech's posterior.

The armless melee Pumpkinseed, meanwhile, is backing up as far as she can and lowering her head, "OUTTA MY WAY, I'M GOING TO KICK HIM TO PIECES!"

"NOOO DON'T YOU'LL HIT ME TOOOOO!" Clinging Pumpkinseed wails even more loudly.

Red Siren sounds like she's having trouble breathing through her gales of laughter.

[Continued]
>>
>>47275487
this is great. we should recruit them.
>>
>>47275487
MY

SIDES

Mr.Wong, pretty please can we keep the Manzai couple?
>>
>>47275549
Probably shouldn't recruit people who give up that easy.
>>
>>47275549
>taking the worst of the worst

I mean, i'm sure everyone will be laughing when their incompetence causes our actual pilots to die.
>>
>>47275574
they can be bar bunnies. well, just the crybaby, the otherone is giving a fight, even if she is at a huge disadvantage.
>>
We will hire them wrong, as a joke.

They'll wind up in the ass end of nowhere instead of with us!
>>
>>47275580
Chill out, anon. We ain't that blackhearted of a pirate to send rookies into battle without training them through "Roarke's Special Course", sponsored by Red Comet, three times more effective than its competitors.
>>
>>47275637
Not sure how fucking them makes them better pilots.
>>
>>47275637
It's so good, you'll hear bells!
>>
>>47275637
Or we could just not pick up random idiots from the UJCIDF. That would be better.
>>
Let's focus on the reporter first, offer recruitment but don't force it. Last time a UJCIDF pilot joined the team, family members got imprisoned
>>
>>47275637
>we force them drink a six pack each
>we put eye of the tiger on the background and send them to the training sim.
>we shout at them "GET BETTER OR YOU'LL DIE"
>they ace all the tests.
>>
>>47275669
Me either, although I'm sure the former Captain Ozark may have been able to give a very thorough, if convoluted and nonsensical, theory as to why that's the case. I'm willing to be he shared it with roarke at least once ahahaha.
>>
>>47275684
You've obviously not taken a look at the voting history of this quest. Dumb idea? Sign me the fuck up!
>>
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>>47275139
You are dead to me.
>>
>>47275637
But seriously, just let them be and loot their mechs. I'm sure they can find work at a cafe or something.
>>
>>47275728
Confirmed for Meido-cafe.
>>
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"Pathetic, really pathetic. You rookies can't hack it at all, can you?" That's a semi-familiar voice, coming over the comms. You've been a little distracted by Pumpkinseeds, but now you look up, and see Something Else.

They're clearly a derivative of the basic Pumpkinseed, but there are some notable differenced. First, they're silver and white. They have a more pointed top to their heads, and a cross-shaped 'eyeslit' glowing icy white. Your Target Analyzer tells you that those short rods they're each carrying are a less primitive version of Mohammed's plasma swords, no longer needing to be attached to the main body of the mech via a cable. Instead of a little gauntlet-cover, each one has a full-sized round shield hooked up to a missile launcher. Your Target Analyzer also reveals each one is toting a pair of emergency single-use Heavy Missiles, one in the right forearm, another concealed within a slot on the head. The one in the rear has a longer rod, long enough to be wielded two-handed, and her shield is attached to her shoulder rather than her elbow, letting you see that it's attached to some kind of independent mechadendrite.

"This is Gretchen Colburn of QTPI news, here to report on a devastating defeat! Of th-"

Red Siren interrupts Gretchen as she mauls the third Pumpkinseed, which had been trying to sneak up on her, shooting off one of its arms and its head with her wrist cannons.

"Yes, THREE full squads of UJCIDF Pumpkinseeds, brought down by Red Siren and Roarke Starwind. What could the implications of this matchup be? Is it a juicy celebrity love affair? Stay tuned! But don't worry, your lovely host doesn't plan on giving up without a fight...not when the UJCIDF has loaned me and my friends these lovely Pumpkinseed IIs!" The one with the beam spear poses dramatically, and her four friends all activate their beam rapiers simultaneously. Thin, alabaster needles of light pierce the darkness of space from the plasma projectors mounted into their hilts.
>>
>>47275702
Transfer of skill through osmosis
>>
>>47275684
>>47275690
At this point they're just entertainment and I hope possibly a recurring enemy (Oh no its him again run!). If recruitment a possibility I'm sure well get some more information at that point so its pointless to argue now. The nice thing about all these bluegills is getting a larger spare parts inventory for the kestrels.
>>
>>47275721
Mostly by Thunder I think. And I've been here for most of the quest so far and have tried to steer anon away from them. Hasn't really worked yet.
>>
>>47275702

"LUNG CAPACITY M'BOY! ALSO ENDURANCE! MARATHON SEX IS THE BEST WORKOUT A BODY CAN HAVE, AND LEARNING HOW TO RESPOND INSTINCTIVELY TO THE UNSPOKEN CUES OF THE PERSON YOU'RE TANGLED WITH IS INVALUABLE IN A FIGHT! POUR ME ANOTHER SHOT, DUDE, I'M GONNA GO SEE IF THAT WAITRESS HAS A HUSBAND!"
>>
>>47275763
They got fucking gyans dont they?
>>
>>47275763
this will be easy.
>>47275777
it's what makes things interesting. also nice trips.
>>
>>47275806
Rest in peace Ozark, you frigging legend
>>
>>47275806
He was a true hero.

We salute you, Sir.
>>
File: 2000[1].jpg (448 KB, 2000x2886)
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It should come as no surprise to anyone what these things look like. Gretchen's has an 8K Beam Lance instead of the Beam Rapier her four friends are equipped with.

UJCIDF PUMPKINSEED II
Medium Striker Torso: C/S/K 8, 4 tons
Medium Striker Head: C/S/K 4, 2 tons
Medium Striker L. Arm: C/S/K 5, 2 tons
Left Hand: 2 CP, 1 Space, 1 Kill, 0.5 tons
Medium Striker R. Arm: C/S/K 5, 2 tons
Right Hand: 2 CP, 1 Space, 1 Kill, 0.5 tons
Medium Striker L. Leg: C/S/K 5, 2 tons
Medium Striker R. Leg: C/S/K 5, 2 tons

Armor: Heavy Striker (5 SP, 5 CP, 2.5 tons) on all locations

Main Sensors (Head): 4 CP, 1 Space, 2 Kills, 1 ton
Backup Sensors (Torso): 2 CP, 2 Spaces, 2 Kills, 1 ton

Options: Torso Cockpit with Environment Pod (2 CP, 2 Spaces), Torso Storage Module (1 CP, 1 Space), Liftwire (0.3 CP), Spotlights (0.2 CP)

Armament: Pumpkinseed IIs have a handheld Beam Rapier and an Active Shield sub-servo on their left elbow, in addition to the usual ranged options. They also each have a single Heavy Missile concealed inside the right forearm for emergencies and a second in the head.
Handheld Light Beam Rapier: WA +1, 5K (only 2K of structure), EMW (treats SP as 4 less than usual), 5 CP, 5 Spaces, 1 ton
Arm-Mounted Active Shield: DA -1, SP 8, 17 CP, 4 Spaces, 4 tons
Handheld Medium Beam Gun: Range 350m, WA +1, 3K, Infinite Ammo, 5 CP, 4 Spaces, 1.5 tons
Handheld Rocket Launcher: Range 350m, WA 0, 4K, 10 rockets (can be fired singly or in a salvo), 4 CP, 4 Spaces, 1.5 tons
Handheld Rocket Pod: Range 250m, WA -1, 2K, 20 rockets (can be fired singly or in a salvo), 4 CP, 4 Spaces, 1.5 tons
Arm-Mounted Heavy Missile: Range 1200m, WA +2, 12K, 1 rocket, 3 CP, 3 Spaces, 0.5 tons

Thrusters & Speed: 5 per leg, 2 in the torso. Moves 400 meters per turn in flight, or can run 250m. 12 CP.
Total Weight: 39 tons
Total Cost: 117.5 CP

Re-roll initiative. 1d10+5 for you. 1d10+4 for Gretchen's friends, two of whom are facing you, and 1d10+8 for Gretchen herself, who has great reflexes.
>>
>>47275813
When we loot that ship, we need to take every vase they have. they are bound to be priceless.

>>47275838
Goodnight sweet captain. May flights of bridge bunnies take you to your eternal "rest".
>>
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>>47275806
I hope he kept some memoirs, we need to publish them after blacking out a few names of people and locations.
>>
>>47275763
is there a way we can salvage these mechs? seems that we could benefit from their weapons, and the mech themselves.
>>
Rolled 4 + 5 (1d10 + 5)

>>47275891
Of course the reporter would be an ace pilot. Why wouldn't she be?
>>
Rolled 3 + 5 (1d10 + 5)

>>47275891
>>
>>47275891
friend 1
>>
>>47275891
So the only things that can hurt are the beam rapier and those heavy missiles.

Speaking of those beam rapiers, we really need claws made out of them. Ignoring 4 armor? yes please.
>>
Rolled 9 + 4 (1d10 + 4)

>>47275958
damnit forgot dice
>>
>>47275777
Everyone had the choice to say no and disagree and no one did and by this point its part of Roarke's character
>>
>>47276008
>implying a quest can keep a consistent character
New people constantly join and drop out. And they don't really care about precedent.
>>
Rolled 1 + 4 (1d10 + 4)

>>47275891
friend 2
>>
Rolled 8, 8, 9 = 25 (3d10)

>tfw I realize I didn't roll and then the pizza arrived.
>>
>>47276036
Thats why we have to try and keep it as constant as we can
>>
>>47276089
Except stupid ideas are, you know, stupid. So no, i'm not going to try and keep that constant.
>>
>>47276074
People are just downright determined not to be jobbers today.
>>
>>47276089
>>47276008
Which can change during the quest as he grows older and more experienced. Provided he doesn't die. People can change during their life they don't stay the same throughout the entirety of life.

Anyone else having trouble posting?
>>
Rolled 5, 2, 6, 8, 5, 9 = 35 (6d10)

Two of the Pumpkinseed IIs detach from the group. One pauses to look down at the huddled Bluegill by the ship's fin in silence...probably yelling at it over the comms. Then it kicks it. The smaller mech bolts upright, grabs a rocket launcher that Gretchen tosses to it, and follows the paired Bluegill II's on a circuitous route towards Siren.

"It's not quite half-and-half, Darling, but I'll have to be satisfied with that..." The redheaded pirate idol sighs, then adds more firmly, "If you're ogling that girl's tits on vidcomm, don't get distracted. Remember, mine are better, so keep them safe and you can look at them later!" She's speaking on the ally frequency, so the UJCIDF can't hear you.

"Are you frightened, are you scared? Watch closely, viewers, I'm about to give Roarke Starwind the fight of his life!" Her Pumpkinseed II has a customized crest, and is a bit more ornate, swishing its beam lance through the air and charging directly at you. Her friends parallel her course, a graceful trifecta of blows, "Witness this, our fearsome Jetstream Atta-"

You turn the volume up.

'TAKE ON ME! (TAKE ON ME!)'

TAKE ME OOOOON! (TAKE ON ME!)'
>>
Rolled 5, 4, 1, 6, 6, 5 = 27 (6d10)

Oh, right

[FEED ME d10s!]
>>
>>47276160
no, not really.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>47276211
>>
>>47276197
Please don't tell me she has an older brother who also uses the same type of suit.
>>
Rolled 3 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47276211
>>
Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>47276197
Time for another onesided battle
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>47276197
inb4 we jump on her mechs head.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>47276211
>>
>>47276160

For a moment I did.

>>47276128

It's because you mocked their nee-chans' tender feelings by calling them jobbers.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>47276211
We really need to take that spear and shove it up the ass of one of these mechs.
>>
Why is nobody formatting their rolls anymore?
>>
>>47276293
You said d10's, you got d10's.
>>
>>47276293
I did! I think!
>>
>>47276211

Also, you can ignore this set of rolls, they were an accident.
>>
Rolled 8 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47276309
You mean ignore our rolls or the enemy's?
>>
>>47276293
Thought you were just asking dor d10s
>>
Rolled 7 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47276197
I give them 5 minutes, max
>>
>>47276305

Yes, but by now you should know that you roll +14 to dodge.
>>
>>47276337
>thinks most of the people in the quest are like his namefags
First time here, qm.
>>
>>47276328
Thats pretty generious anon, when we start kicking her ass leta make sure to ask her who's having the fight of their lives?
>>
Rolled 3 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47276211
You really need to clarify, Wong.
>>
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>>47276359
>NameFags are for pussies
>Anons FTW
>>
>>47276217

Successful dodge, barely.

>>47276224

Successful dodge, barely.

>>47276225

Dodge

>>47276229

Hit, unless you can roll me a successful parry that beats 21. Which is bad, because EMW is actually better than AP up until the particularly big and meaty enemies (AP makes up for it because big and meaty enemies have more Kills and are more of a pain in general). At least it was one of the rapier not-Gyans and not Gretchen's lance.

>>47276238

Dodge.

>>47276280

Dodge.
>>
>>47276319

The enemy's.

>>47276321

I generally won't ever ask for d10s unless you score a crit.

>>47276328

That's a lot of ten-second rounds.
>>
Rolled 4 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47276437
Rolling for the parry
>>
>>47276437
Lets see tgat parry
>>
>>47276437
So you're saying she stopped trying to hit us

and hit us?

Well now we can start having fun! Ha HA! Combat!
>>
>>47276473
We hit, son.
>>
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>>47276319

And we have a successful parry. Roarke is phenomenally lucky. Sorry, everyone, I wasn't clear enough when I said "unless you parry successfully", I saw we had unused rolls and didn't actually NEED more. Mea culpa!

Do note, these girls all have a +13 to their rolls.


Starting with fresh dice to avoid confusion, what do you want to do with your turn, lads?
>>
Rolled 9 + 19 (1d10 + 19)

>>47276552
As usual ora ora the shit out of their arms
>>
>>47276552
Take spear, shove pointy end into ass of gyan. Twirl it around.
>>
>>47276552
>these girls

Jesus Christ, she's such a raging fucking lesbian every single guard of hers is a chick, too?

Goddamn, girl, get your fucking libido under control.
>>
>>47276577
>The sheer irony of roarke saying that
It should count as a stun attack or something.
>>
>>47276577

Well, her four best friends are all girls, that's normal.
>>
>>47276577
More like she is a news reporter and having hot wing ladies boosts ratings.
>>
Rolled 8 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47276552
disarm the mooks, work our way up to the reporter
>>
>>47276575

A Grab to disarm is something Roarke is pretty good at, but I'd advise against using someone else's captured melee weapon as the Pure Brawl and only Brawl guy.
>>
>>47276624
Take the weapon and fake out an attack for a punch
>>
>>47276624
What about if you shoved the spear into a defenseless mechs ass? Like the crying girl.
>>
>>47276577
Considering Roarke is pretty much this even down to one of them being a guy http://youtu.be/umhuM3M_mfI
>>
By the way, those shields of theirs automatically parry the first attack they're targeted by each round. All successive attacks require actual parries.

I won't dismiss your rolls, but just note that the first attack made each round against one of them is considered an automatic miss. So whichever one you're punching had one automatic miss, then >>47276568 is the second attack, >>47276611 is the third, and we don't have a fourth yet.

By the way, are you going for a mook or the reporter?
>>
>>47276591
But Roarke doesn't field only women.

And he does have his libido under control. He was able to turn down at least a handy on the first date.
>>
>>47276641
>>47276659

Awful idea. If I'm reading right, earlier the one Pumpkinseed was able to grab an unused weapon with one Action. We'd be wasting an action to make one of them waste an Action, and if we held onto whatever we grabbed it would disable one of our fists.
>>
Rolled 5 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47276664
Get rid of the reporter's spear, it's the most killy weapon they have.
>>
>>47276660

Sam a girl. Did the shitposter get to you too, Thunderbird?
>>
>>47276659
No. One, it's in the middle of combat, 2 it might kill her, and 3 it's a waste of a good peice of loot.

We should just focus on disabling and dismembering, trying to get as much loot as possible.
>>
>>47276691
Fine, is Big Red good with melee weapons? Take the spear and give it to her.
>>
>>47276664
The mook so we can focus on the reporter
>>
>>47276624
Out of curiosity what is used for attacks involving throwing shit at people?
>>
>>47276705
Oh god, it's that one gay dude in denial again.
>>
>>47276724

Melee. That's why Samantha was the one dropping the bomb on the Tarrasque.
>>
>>47276705
At the end of the day she still has a dick even though we see her as a girl
>>
>>47276726

Shitposter please leave. If you have to be a /pol/tard, why can't you be one of the cool ones who likes Donald Trump instead of a bathroom-checking Cruzmissile?
>>
>>47276740

Just call her a trap. Otherwise the one shitposter who's butthurt about Roarke sleeping with her has a spergfit.
>>
>>47276754
>Still thinks fucking something with a penis doesn't make him gay
Roarke is bi. Just deal with it.
>>
Rolled 7, 1, 10 = 18 (3d10)

>>47276568
>>47276611
>>47276693

+13 all.
>>
>>47276792
Just squeaked by on that Last roll
>>
>>47276776

Oi. Word of QM here. Roarke is a Viking/Spartan/Roman. If you guys want to argue about it using 21st century terminology save it for when you aren't facing down girls with beam weapons. This all started after one poster started going on about how Roarke should get upgrades from Mohammed and Yoritomo, so I really do believe Anon's comments that it's one frustrated fujoshi or gay guy trying to push his sexuality on normal /tg/ deviance. If you're sincere, and not a shitposter, please knock it off. If you are a shitposter, I wish you find a more fulfilling way to express yourself, because at least waifu wars were funny.
>>
>>47276792

Two hits and a miss! Who were you prioritizing again?
>>
>>47276840
If you think this is one guy, then you obviously weren't paying attention last thread. You had one guy saying it was all a fujoshi conspiracy and multiple people telling him 'no, fucking a trap really is kinda gay'.
>>
>>47276840
Let's go back to arguing over which girl is government top dog
>>
>>47276860
Shouldn't it be three since were suppossed to have plus 19
>>
if it's pretty, Roarke will fuck it.
>>
>>47276876
Obviously Sam, on account of not being a bloodthirsty madwoman
>>
>>47276861
And again, it's a little gay. I say this as a Sisterly Alliance fag. Sam and Karen a best forever. It's still a little gay. And that's ok!
>>
>>47276901
But he asked for girls.
>>
>>47276881

No. Plus 14. Are you trying to ruse me, Thunder? Knuckle Kaiser's weight begins with a 5, so it imposes -5 on his rolls. Similarly, these girls have a smaller dicepool than Roarke, but their Pumpkinseed IIs inflict only a -3.
>>
can we please get back to bullying young girls in mechs?
>>
>>47276934
Nope just forgot about weight lowering the rolls
>>
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>>47276876
Clemmy. She is such a sweetie.
>>
>>47276960
That hair totally sells it.
>>
>>47276960
Obviously a photoshop. The pillow doesn't have any attachments.
>>
Alright, since we can't reach consensus, I'll decide. Typing now! I believe you wanted to focus on the mooks, which...is a slightly questionable choice, but with three hits you can remove the right arms from all three, which is ultimately a good move!

>>47276960

+5 CP for Clemmy.
>>
Wong, please ignore the shitposting faggot. He's some asshole trying to get you to move to /qst/. Fucking Samantha may be a LITTLE bit queer, but she's a girl in her heart so there's nothing wrong with that. Just don't respond to him anymore. In fact, nobody respond to him anymore. He's not a player and is only here because his earlier attempts got deleted by the janitors.
>>
>>47277036
Damn man, just come out of the closet already. It's not a conspiracy.
>>
>>47277036
You're just as annoying as the 'shitposters' you're against.

fuck off.
>>
>>47277036
Can we all just focus on ripping this chick's mech apart and fucking with them.
>>
How about we all keep our opinions on this to ourselves and go back to enjoying a fun quest? Because in the end, it doesn't matter if its gay or not, what matters is that Roarke likes Sam. And that is what matters.
>>
'I'LL BE GONE~'

'IN A DAY OR TWOOOOO~~~~~~'

You, however, don't wait around for them. You push the clinging one-armed Pumpkinseed aside for her own good, first. Then you prepare to receive the attacks of the three more elite warriors. Releasing the electromagnetic locks on your feet, you fire your thrusters and jump over their perfectly coordinated attack. One is a little slow, and has time to react, turning to poke at you with her estoc. It burns a neat little scar into your shield, so you focus on her first. You swing your arm wide to throw her sword to the side, grab her by the elbow, and twist once to the left, once to the right, then pull. Her arm pops off, and she squeals with indignation at you over the comms, "Why are you being so mean!? Don't you want me to arrest you? I...I mean...of course you don't...but it would really make my career..."

Her friends turn around as one, "Bully!" "New reports indicate you are a BRUTE, Roarke Starwind!"

You rabbit-punch the second rapier Pumpkinseed II's shoulder, plant your foot on her back, and rip her arm off. You have a drift of floating right arms surrounding you by this point, it almost gives you an idea for a weapon system...that and something Karen kept murmuring in her sleep about 'infinite flying fists' and 'a cape that can flap in space'.

Gretchen spins around to face you, holding her lance proudly, "To think, initially I brought them along because I wanted to do a scoop on the so-called 'Starwind Effect'. Ever since you started hitting the holonews, young women have been joining the UJCIDF in droves. Some are probably hoping you'll capture them, some are hoping to capture you. E...Even I..." She squirms a little in place.

You reach out, and gently take her right hand in yours, the Knuckle Kaiser's massive fingers dwarfing those of the small, silvery Pumpkinseed II, "Gretchen, it's okay, I understand." You murmur over the sound of A-Ha.

[Continued]
>>
>>47277224
>Karen kept murmuring in her sleep about 'infinite flying fists' and 'a cape that can flap in space'.

It's GLORIOUS!
>>
>>47277279
Fantastic
>>
>>47277224
Full Asura system.
>>
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Rolled 1, 7, 8 = 16 (3d10)

"You...you do...?" You hear a quiet gasp over the comms from her, her voice sounds slightly confused. Her friends squeal in congratulation. You make the Knuckle Kaiser nod. You swear her Pumpkinseed II is looking a little dewy-eyed, and you can feel the gaze of an impressionable young girl radiating from the cross-shaped 'eyeslit' like a fuzzy pink laser.

So you're very gentle as you reach out and stroke her machine's right shoulder, tightening your grip just enough to bend the metal as you twist her machine's arm off. There's a shriek that lacks any sort of journalistic self-possession over the comms, managing to form into words, "MISSILES! FIRE MISSILES!"

As one, panels of armor on their head slide back to reveal a Heavy Missile poised to fire, and they launch!

[Feed me 1d10+14s!]
>>
>>47277279
I just need to know what name that system will have, because I cannot be any more hype right now.
>>
Rolled 5 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47277297
>>
Rolled 2 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47277297
Meh. What a bitch.
>>
>>47277302

There is spirited debate between Polaris and Star Platinum at least.
>>
Rolled 6 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47277297
>Status: Emotionally Rekt
>>
Rolled 3 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47277297
>>
Rolled 10 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47277297

>>47277302
Still saying we call it the Polaris system
>>
>>47277313
You just doomed us to taking two missiles to the cock.
>>
>>47277279
>Fists of Io System
>When not in use, stored as interlinked hands and forms a cape
>When in use, KnuckleKaiser's ECM overwhelms the enemies comm system with "ORARARARARARARARARARARARARARAARARARARARARARARRARARARA!!!!!!"
>>
...And then I realized just HOW I messed up.

Oh well, this fight has gone on long enough as it is. We'll say you were attacking from directly behind the one so she couldn't parry, and that Gretchen was distracted.
>>
Rolled 9 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47277297
It's ok. We'll just offer up anons as sacrifice to the dice gods
>>
>>47277329
Thunder be praised
>>
>>47277339
At least then roarke and sam could have a proper heterosexual relationship.
>>
>>47277329
THE DICE GODS HAVE SPOKEN!!!
>>
I'm still waiting for a "superior machine to the Black Ogre" to show up piloted by "the most skilled martial artist in the galaxy" called the "Asura".

And then it gets absolutely fucking destroyed because no matter how many fists you bring to the fight, you can't turn them against their emperor.

And because that would be like, six fists versus dozens of them.
>>
Rolled 1 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47277297
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>47277312

Dodge.

>>47277313

>>47277313
>>47277317

Hit but not a crit (Heavy Missiles have +2 WA)

>>47277324
>>47277329

Not dodged, but parried! Having two shields saved you from taking some damage to your arm, there, as one was already a bit dinged up. I figured I didn't need to ask if you'd want to use the fresh one or not, it seemed obvious.

Rolling for LOCATION!
>>
>>47277329
How about the knucklenado?
>>
>>47277387
also have webm of a turkish attack chopper being shot down.
>>
>>47277413
oh come the fuck on /tg/ dice!
>>
>>47277419
As another anon put it, straight to the dick
>>
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>>47277387
>not giving credit to the guy who popularized a cape of fists
>>
>>47277419

Not bad, one of them (I'll let you decide if you'd rather it be Gretchen or one of her subordinates for the sake of drama) just sunk 5 Kills of damage into Knuckle Kaiser's torso and knocked its armor down to 6 SP.
>>
>>47277426
Doesn't roll of the tounge, it has to sound good when you yell it out
>>
>>47277456
How about the fistening? Just kidding.
>>
>>47277456
Just say it in Weeb, Knucklenado sounds pretty good in it.
>>
>>47277441
The Asura Fist/wrath? Yamamoto would blow his pants if we did pick it. Also besides the reference the name does imply hot blooded and destruction. A contender for sure.
>>
>>47277446
Roarke right now http://youtu.be/WY7TxL5XvcA
>>
>>47277446
Unless there's a 'crotch' hit location, can we say that missile hit us in the crotch? Cause that would be funny. Have gretchen's missile be the one that connects for extra bitchyness.
>>
>>47277538

I was already planning on it.
>>
>>47277398

...I hate to dim anyone's enthusiasm, but six fists really IS more realistic. You could have more, but then it starts causing your dicepool to rapidly drop.
>>
>>47277565
What if the six fists break up art into smaller fists on demand?
>>
>>47277565
You think you can make a cape out of six fists?

Firstly, how fucking big are you making these fists

secondly we'll just learn to use more of the drones at once and subsystems.
>>
>>47277599
Have 2 wings with thrusters at the end, 2 fists clamp onto the wings per side. It'll look pretty cape-like.
>>
>>47277624
But then it won't billow, it'll just waggle around in huge motions, not wave-like at all.

That's not a cape!
>>
>>47277641
You have to make allowances for rigidity in giant robots.
>>
>>47277641
What about fabric, like an actual cape, but with fists at the key parts to produce a wave like effect?
>>
Funny enough if we ens up trying to waifu the reporter we already have the perfect song for her

>>47277624
I was hoping for a cape like Crossbones gundam
>>
"Grab your swords in your other hands, we've got him!" Howls Gretchen. Her friends' shots go wide, but hers is spot-on and aimed directly at the target of her ire. You wince in sympathy as the Heavy Missile explodes against the Kaiser's mighty robot crotch, tearing up the armor and damaging your circuitry. The fact that it knocks you around in your cockpit and fills your screen with white light is a secondary consideration.

"Nice shot, but...but we really don't got him, G." One of the other girls shrugs. The third chimes in, "Y-yeah, look around, everyone who tried it is missing both arms. I think we lost."

All three of them sigh, somehow managing to look dejected even without vidcomms on, "We tried our best." Gretchen says firmly, "This might even be a new record for damage. Nobody's ever really heard of the Black Ogre getting seriously hurt before."

"Yeah! We did our best!"

"It's not our fault, if our machines were bigger, then maybe..."

Gretchen shoves the second one with her remaining left arm, nearly knocking her off the ship, "Don't blame the Pumpkinseed II, it's cute and perfect! We just needed more of them. And...and maybe we should have opened with the missile salvo and THEN closed to melee range..." She holds her arm up in surrender, and pats the Knuckle Kaiser's chest, "Good job, big guy."

>[What say?]
>>
>>47277599

Well, by default they're as large as your regular fists, which are pretty huge. Probably flatter, too, for more surface area.
>>
>>47277688
[incoherent groaning]
you shot me in the dick!
>>
>>47277688
>Now whose fight of whose life was that?
>>
>>47277688
you just shot me in the dick women!.
also nice dubs Wong.
>>
>>47277710
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFiSdsW9lfA
>>
>>47277688
"You shot me in the dick. I know of atleast four women who are now after your head. God help you."
>>
>>47277688
YOU SHOT ME IN THE DICK!
>>
>>47277688
Can't grope yet. Still on live TV.

"Rosita, you got your signature move ready? We are done here."
>>
>>47277704
But six fists in anything other than a 1 column configuration won't cover anything more than like, half of the machine. And those little capes are silly looking. And if it's only 1 fist "wide" then it'll just be a long scarf, which, while fashionable, is not majestic.
>>
>>47277688
thanks.
your still kidnapped
and I'm stealing your mech, too
>>
>>47277764

Would you rather have twelve that make attacks as though you had your Reflexes and Mecha Fighting halved? If I'm telling you they're big fists, and that the flexible framework for the wings will cover it, I mean it.
>>
>>47277738
This works
>>
>tfw people start calling Knuckle Kaiser stupid shitty arm puns because he tears all the fucking arms off of things

Oh sweet lord.
>>
>>47277727
I love that game. Just so much fun.
>>
>>47277790
Hey, you better believe I'm going to make damn sure we're getting a worthy cloak! Even if it means doubting you. I will do whatever I must for the good of the best waifu in the universe.

Knuckle Kaiser daki's when?
>>
>>47277800
>Knuckle Kaiser has a load of armaments.
>The Kaiser is armed and dangerous.
>>
>>47277790
>Not wanting to have one GIANT fist.

We need quality attacks not quantity. Also it's pretty damn cool to see a transforming cape.
>>
>>47277800
>What our for Roarke he comes out and disarms you with his charm, then his mech
>You know fighting Starwind is like a Hemingway novel, a farewell to arms

Thank you i'll be here all night
>>
>>47277790
>Would you rather have twelve that make attacks as though you had your Reflexes and Mecha Fighting halved

Do we still get two hits per fist at normal fist damage?
>>
>>47277790
Do we have to use all 12 or could we only use 6 of them and have the rest still on us?
>>
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"You shot me. In the dick." You're still wincing even though YOUR crotch is just fine.

"No, I shot the Black Ogre in the dick." She continues patting you, "...After you took advantage of me, and when I was trusting and helpless, ripped my arm off. You just have to do some bodywork, I need to replace a servo on a machine I'm BORROWING for JOURNALISTIC REVIEW." She harrumphs.

"In. The. Dick."

"Yes! In the dick! Do you want me to kiss it better or s-forgetIsaidthatohbyJunoIdidnotmeantosaythat!"

"In the. Dick." You repeat one last time.

"W-well it was revenge for all the women whose hearts you've broken."

"You're lucky it's just me and Red Siren here today." You pat the Pumpkinseed II's conical head.

"No she's not, darling~ She's very unlucky I'm here...because if you're not fully functional I'm skinning her with a potato peeler~" Rosita's Archen looms over the Pumpkinseed's shoulder, getting off her throne of Bluegills, Pumpkinseed, and Pumpkinseed IIs.

The three Pumpkinseed II's and two Pumpkinseeds on your side, along with the various damaged Bluegills, all try to hide behind you. Rosita can be scary.

"Um, hey. Look, since I actually scored a hit, I deserve an interview." Gretchen pushes her luck, stubbornly, "You've kind of ruined my material for the day, these girls won't be any good to interview now that you're actually here and they're all...EXCUSE ME, PLEASE STOP TALKING LIKE HIM ABOUT THAT OVER THE ALLY-ONLY FREQUENCY LADIES I STILL HAVE TO HEAR IT EVEN IF HE CAN'T...Ahem. They're useless. And I can't test-drive broken Pumpkinseed II's. At least it looks like you have some Harpies nearby getting decent footage, I should've thought of that. So what exactly do you want? Why ambush little me?"

"We want to be interviewed, dear girl!" Rosita purrs cheerfully.

"We just want to get our side of the story out there, that's all. I couldn't rest with a stain on my name." You manage to stop sounding so indignant.

[Continued]
>>
>>47277834
The kaiser's catchphrase is "Need a hand?"
>>
>>47277790
I still say we should have a fuckton of fists and use them to intercept missiles and attacks to prematurely detonate them and shit.

A forcefield of fists, if you will.
>>
>>47277894

Having 12 would absolutely halve your pool no matter how many of them you were using at once.

I'll know more once I stat the thing, alright? As it stands, it's going to be very expensive.
>>
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>>47277908
>"Yes! In the dick! Do you want me to kiss it better or s-forgetIsaidthatohbyJunoIdidnotmeantosaythat!"
>MFW
>>
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>>47277908
>"Yes! In the dick! Do you want me to kiss it better or s-forgetIsaidthatohbyJunoIdidnotmeantosaythat!"

The punishment is BULLYING
>>
>>47277940
Roarke's passive sexual aura is a powerful thing
>>
>>47277940
My sides.
They have left me.
Why Wong, Why?
>>
>>47277908
How wet will this portion of the galaxy be when the headline reads, "Pirate Admiral Roarke S. Starwind, Rebel Pirate and the People's Hero."
>>
>>47277908
>"W-well it was revenge for all the women whose hearts you've broken."

What kind of tripe is this? We've been only kind to all the ladies we've known. Even the ones who've tried to shoot us.

Not like we slept around and ditched them.

Nope.

Never did any of that shit. Mmmhm. Never.

Seriously though, girl you watch too many cheap magical girl vids
>>
>>47277940
>>47277942
>>47277955
That's the 10 cool right there!
>>
>>47277960
Does this mean we get to become The Rock and cut third person promos on the military?
>>
>>47277960
depends, are we wearing a shirt in the photo?
>>
>>47277908
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExTKEFZFi_8
>>
>>47277965

What about the ones you haven't slept with? What about their feelings?
>>
>>47277985
Fool we need to keep that for Oda's merchandising. We gotta capitalize on all that sweet fan girl money.

We do have to think of a way to get half our shirt torn during the interview though. Or maybe show some pecs. Maybe have Gretchen accidentally spill water on our white shirt? Or we give her a wink as she drinks water, spraying it out on our shirt.
>>
>>47278051
>Knock the cup out of her hand getting a couple drops on our shirt
>Guess we gotta take our shirt off, don't want to catch space pneumoniae

Fool proof
>>
>>47278051
Have oda give coupons for Roark body pillows to capture female pilots
>>
>>47278070
Let's keep it somewhat classy, though we should definetly use the charm when appropriate to catch her off guard and prevent her from spinning things her way.

Honestly, I sort of want to mention the fact the Navy basically left a experimental weapon in the open because one of their SOUL pilots thought the heavy weapons platform would be better for mining.
>>
>>47278076
One day Oda's gonna to set up a merchandise stall or two at a convention, and we'll have the bad fortune of agreeing to attend and maybe sign a thing or two. Then Roarke shall know true fear, and fangirls (and some female enemy pilots we've come across) can smell fear. seriously this needs to happen somewhere down the line.
>>
>>47278043
Damn, you're right.

I see the error of our ways, Wong.

From now on, every first Friday of the month is "Sleep with Roarke day" open to any and all women except the ugly ones
>>
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>>47278051
We gotta look dapper as fuck at this interview. Will this be the first time we get our voice on air? We should get Oda a recording of us saying things like, "Good Morning. The Stars are shining today, but not as bright as you." Clemmy get's a lewd alarm version.
>>
>>47278130
>"Good Morning. The Stars are shining today, but not as bright as you."

>10 Cool
>>
>>47278125
there will only be one fan. it will be clemmy. the others are trapped in their rooms.
>>
>>47278076
Roarke products hit shelves:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcecsbdwmKg
>>
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"You'd better come inside. Don't worry, I know we lost...and I'm sure Red Siren has plenty of Harpies ready to sodomize this poor little transport ship if I try anything funny...which I'm pretty sure would be a breach of my journalistic integrity, and honor, and such. Everyone, pick up your arms and weapons! I'll take Admiral Starwind in and start grilling him." Gretchen shoves her floating arm off on one of her friends, loops her Pumpkinseed's remaining arm around one of the Knuckle Kaiser's huge forearms, and leads you to the mech bay.

"Why yes dear, of course I do!" Rosita chuckles wickedly. It's the kind of laugh that turns boys into men, "...Although it's a little sad, I'm used to being the celebrity. Oh well, I suppose this time I'll have to settle for just being the female lead who appears relatively late in the story and steals the audience's hearts like a true heroine." She shrugs, and grabs your other arm with the Archen.

All in all, it makes getting into the ship a little difficult, three mecha won't fit abreast through the catapult.

Soon enough, though, you're seated on a comfortable couch, with Gretchen fending off curious pilot girls who want to make absolutely sure you're not injured or bruised anywhere, or tell you that they weren't hurt by you during the battle as a pretext for starting a conversation. Dewy, emotion-filled eyes are everywhere.

"So! Let's roll the camera!" Gretchen nods at one of the few men on the ship, who's glaring at you jealously.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to tonight's edition of QTPI News! As always, I'm your lovely host, Gretchen Colburn. We have a special surprise for you tonight. On my way to California Station for a few human interest pieces about our brave troops and the ever popular Maximum Thrusters review of Bahamutcorp's latest machine, I met some interesting guests! That's right, I've been kidnapped by Red Siren and Roarke Starwind!"

[Continued]
>>
>>47277942

How do you want to bully her? I might be able to work it in. Bullying the media is a true patrician's pasttime.
>>
Rolled 10 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47278167
Alroght Wong rolling to seduce the audience
>>
>>47278179
We will, naturally, say things that can easily be misconstrued as lewd and very suggestive, but with a professional and proper tone. She must receive the most mixed of signals and throw her off of her game in front of her audience.
>>
>>47278179
work the charm, keep her flustered.
>>
>>47278206
You did it again you glorious bastard.
>>
>>47278206
sasuga thunderbird
>>
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>>47278206
>Girls' fw this story airs
>>
>>47278179
not that anon, but I think the best way is to combine our cool and hit her when she tries invasive or antagonizing questions. Tease when possible, joke about things but also be truthful when need be. If they say our former captain was a skirt chaser go with something like "He always had a way with women."
>>
>>47278206
Nice
>>47278179
Keep it very subtle and go maximum innuendo. Maybe comment her studio must be set to a martian clime, then unbutton one or two buttons on our shirt.
>>
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>>47278206
HOLY SHIT.
>>
>>47278206
Clemmy's gonna just flood her pants when she see's this.
>>
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The camera pans over to you and Red Siren, sitting on the couch. The pirate idol squeezes your hand encouragingly and gives you a smile.

The screen behind Gretchen flashes to show the explosion from her missile hitting the Knuckle Kaiser, although it doesn't show where it hit. "Look at this guy, I managed to get a hit on him! Woohoo! It was a little scary, though." In front of the cameras, she's one big cheerful smile, "I have to admit, this is almost as exciting as it is scary, I've always wanted an exclusive interview with Siren herself...and now I've got the Black Ogre's pilot here too! Admiral Roarke Starwind, he's really real, folks!" She leans over and pinches your arm a little, "Not dead or anything!" Cute wink at the camera!

Then she makes a serious face, "But I know what you all want to know, and if I don't ask straightaway my inbox will get more hatemail than the person who invented speed limits. Admiral...can...can I call you Roarke? Anyway, big guy, tell me about Suleiman 1. You're implicated in something pretty serious there, aren't you?" She frowns, resting her cheek on one of her palms.

>[What say? This is, obviously, important...so take your time, I'm giving you twenty minutes minimum to work it out.]
>>
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>>47278206
>>
>>47278206

Accepted. It shall be as you have rolled. May Jove protect you, Thunderbird.
>>
>>47278272
Tell the truth about everthing involving the green skulls and don't mention the military playing up that we went to avenge our dead comrades and bring up how this isn't in our mo and we have nothing to gain from destroying the station and we have plenty of colony members who we can have you talk to about this
>>
>>47278280
oh god, what fresh hell has he unleashed, and how much money can we make off of it?
>>
>>47278332
Get ready for women throwing themselves at us to join our harem, were gonna need to buy a bigger bed
>>
>>47278280
a lot of waterfalls have been opened in may young girls hearts.

and pants.
>>
>>47278272
I went to Suleman because I heard the Green Skulls were pushing around hard working colonists. What started off as a simple revenge mission on the monsters that killed some of my own squad members and almost killed me, turned into a rescue mission when I found out they were enslaving and tormenting the colonists.
>>
>>47278332
We have unleashed a raw combination of Cool and sexiness that the system shall never recover from.
And Oda better be jumping on the money making like a Space Jew.
>>
>>47278355
Remember were still a pirate if we go amd act like were superman saving the colonists were gonna seem like were lying its better to play into the image we have
>>
>>47278345
>yfw General Fairchild was the one who got seduced
>>
Rolled 3 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47278272
"Well sometimes its the things that are unsaid that carry the greatest implications (some form of subtle wink at her/camera). I have been accused of a great deal, yet I feel as thought much of what is thought is based on some very wrong assumptions. I will even go so far as to say insinuations, which can be more substantial (again with the charm) than direct accusations. So allow me to shed some light as to recent events on Suleiman 1. And because mere words lack the sensual fidelity that this story deserves (give the eyes ahaha) allow me to give you something more substantial... a personal perspective. [show and narrate video footage and interviews with those we took on, I assume we would have this prepared as getting on the air was our goal].

Rolling for the Roarke brand attraction
>>
>>47278272
Well, for starters keep it simple but honest to a degree. Our initial goal was dealing with green skulls, but as we got there the situation was far more severe. Razed villages, harmed civilians, Green skulls playing with innocents like they were toys. It was sickening. After all, even if we're pirates, there is no point in being savages about it. So we did the only reasonable thing and got rid of every Green skull on that colony.

Took out 2 of their ships including their bosun, a cowardly sort who left his own family to fend for themselves. Though they seemed to have a stolen some military tech before we arrived. Apparently someone left it there and told the poor miners to use it to work the asteroids over. Bad form and likely did not help them.

Still, as proven the green skulls are poor sports who care little about their own or civilians. To hear what happened to the colony was a cruel fate no one served and it has our heart felt apology. We certainly won't stop hunting down the green skulls, thats for sure. The knuckle kaiser will see to it.
>>
>>47278272
>"As it stands, I got a tip that the Green Skulls - who had tried to space me, if you forgot - were at Suleiman 1. I decided that I had to get vengeance for my Captain and fellow pilots who fell in combat to them. We entered the habitat dome and found that there were still civilians on the station, at which point the objective changed from the destruction of the Skulls to freeing the civilians they were holding hostage. After a brief but intense skirmish inside the dome we managed to eliminate what little resistance was left inside and ensured the well being of the people living there. Some of them even volunteered to join us before we left. We then investigated the rest of Suleiman 1 and was ambushed by another of the Skulls' ships. After dispatching it and solidifying that the Skull's were no longer assaulting the station we left. The station was intact, its people safe, and a large portion of the Skulls dead. If any damage was dealt to the station it was done after we had left, which leads me to believe the Skulls were eliminating any evidence of their loss to protect their image of strength."

And I'm kind of at a loss further. I'm really not good at writing.
>>
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>>47278398
Not that it needed the roll, with >>47278206
Oh and I forgot the image with the post
>>
>>47278345
women get hot and bothered, men find out they're gay. Oda makes enough money to afford more treasures of ancient nippon.
>>
>>47278272
"The people of the galaxy. You've seen the news. Suleiman 1 is gone. Wiped off the stars and it's inhabitants missing. The UJCIDF is throwing false rumours into the air. I'm here to give you the truth. Nothing but the cold hard facts.

The Iron Kestrels are a different kind of pirate. We don't harm the innocents. Even digging up past jobs of the Iron Kestrels can give you that information. It's the same with Suleiman 1. In fact we saved them. Against the true scum of this asteroid belt. The Green Skulls! When my crew touched down on that colony, the villages were torched and the people enslaved to work the mines. The Iron Kestrels destroyed every single piece of Green Skull armour in that colony and freed the people. In fact, we have about two dozen Suleiman 1 colonist aboard my ship.

I taught them how to survive. Gave them the tools to fight against tyranny. Now they are my brothers in arms to fight against the evil that has been festering in this asteroid belt, the Green Skulls.

I swear to you. Whoever did that to Suleiman 1 will have to answer to me and they will be feel the wrath of my steel."
>>
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>>47278393
>>
>>47278393
that would be most amusing.
>>
Rolled 6 + 14 (1d10 + 14)

>>47278420
Its always fun to roll just to see what might have happened
>>
Basically say that we went there to get revenge on the green skulls. We managed to defeat a ship and most of their forces with minor damage to the colony superstructure due to our dynamic entrance with Oda. The fight then moved off colony to get rid off their big zam and their last remaining ship in the area, We punched both to death.

I assume we brought SOME footage, right?
>>
>all these write-ins

>so many parts to be cannibalized by Wong

Must feel like a butcher with a fresh cow.
>>
>>47278272
tell her what happened on Suleiman 1, but leave out the details related to military personnel or the conspiracy, such as the info from the Jobber Brothers. not sure how to spin Sam's involvement, beyond a desire to assist the colonists leading her to offer her assistance in infiltrating the colony.
and lets not tell them that we have the Terrasque. that might be dangerous
>>
>>47278447
We have it on our pc and if we needed more we could probably have Avi release the entire recording of the fight and everything after until we left the colony
>>
Oh and throw Jesus under the bus for denouncing a crazy prototype super weapon that the skulls found and nabbed
>>
>>47278272
Tell her the footage on the internet that Avi uploaded. We don't even have the fire power to destroy a colony. Only killing the Green Skull presence on it.
>>
>>47278364

The Space Jews fear the Space Samurai...for his ability to merchandise anyone and anything.

Gotta keep his nakama's Harpies daijobu, don't you know?
>>
>>47278471
Do not under any circumstances implicate the Navy.

This will start shit we cannot handle yet.
>>
>>47278471
As much as I want to the minute we through the military out we start losing credibility and looking like were covering our tracks
>>
>>47278457
Careful with the footage. Don't want to give Sam away
>>
>>47278393

Let's just say she has a very large, even insurmountable bonus against being seduced by Roarke. Or half the human race in general.
>>
>>47278489
>Cyborg/AI general confirmed
>>
>>47278489
Being a lesbian doesn't make her immune!

She will feel it once we meet her in person and unlock our special ability that boosts our Cool to 15!
>>
>>47278484
Indeed. One angle I feel we must exploit is our crew who joined up from the colony, we must have recorded an interview or two with them to pass on. really get the human tragedy of it. And the fact they find us a half decent guy one would hope.
>>
>>47278489
Loves doing the horizontal scissors then eh?
>>
>>47278447

Red Siren definitely has you covered, she's the one who likes the press the best and she wouldn't come here without the sensor footage from the Rhinehawk as well as some prime footage from the Knuckle Kaiser's ASP.
>>
>>47278471
No need to directly implement them. We can poke and tease, but do not be direct.

>>47278473
Also, we need to remember that any video evidence we give will be attacked directly. Do NOT use the evidence on it's own. Be persuasive and use it to punctuate. As a whole we need to play it smart and prevent them from trying to shift the conversation or make it look like we have a grudge against the navy or it WILL be ripped apart and reimaged. Like normal media.
>>
>>47278489
Don't worry wong when thw time comes we'll do the impossible and break through our own limits
>>
Looks like it's time to make Daki's of Roarke and rake in the mad space dough.
>>
>>47278622
our dick will be the one that breaks Fairchild's heart walls!
>>
>>47278640
Imagine how much we can make if we film a Roarke x Viewer porno
>>
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You're not the best orator in the world, but this time...you think that honesty, and real emotion, is the best.

"You can call me whatever you want, Gretchen, and congratulations on doing more damage to my machine than anyone else has yet. Sometimes, it's what's unsaid that holds more power than any words exchanged in the heat of battle." You wink at her over your shades, and she swoons just a little.

Then you get serious, "As I'm sure many of you who follow the affairs of the pirate fraternity know, the Green Skulls broke the peace of the region when they launched an unprovoked attack on the Iron Kestrels weeks ago. Half of our pilots were killed, including our Captain. I survived on pure luck and determination to make it back to my family, the crew of the Rhinehawk. I won't lie to you, I intend to wipe the Green Skulls out down to the last transport ship and misbegotten green Harpy...not just for what they did to me, but for what they did to the innocent people of Suleiman 1. By chance, in the process of building up our strength to get revenge for Captain Ozark, my mentor and friend, I uncovered information that the Green Skulls had taken over the colony of Suleiman 1, and knew that since the colonists must have somehow been prevented from calling for help the situation must be more dire than I suspect even the UJCIDF must have imagined."

"I see! You know, a longtime fan of the show sent me this video...and by the way, here's a shoutout to 'nAVIgator' for the 'Harpy Swarm versus Kaiser' clip! That was at Suleiman 1?"

"Yes. When we first arrived. Luckily for me, they didn't have you as one of their pilots." You smile at her and she blushes prettily, putting a hand on her chest and making an 'oh stop!' gesture that somehow conveys how little she actually wants you to stop praising her. You hear a muted barrage of jealous sighs from the gaggle of young female pilots watching.

[Continued]
>>
>>47278697
>nAVIgator
One of those usernames that future Avi will face palm at having thought of. He prolly has Space AVIator somewhere.
>>
>>47278697
>nAVIgator

Give that boy a pay raise
>>
>>47278697
Dear God, Roarke is just emitting his sexiness to the system.
We gonna be rolling in money like Space Jews aren't we?
>>
>>47278697
>'nAVIgator'

Avi u cheeky cunt
>>
>>47278697
..Avi you may have the bridge bunnies. You have earned them.
>>
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"Now, I AM a pirate." You continue, leaning forward towards the camera, "I won't deny it. I break the law often and occasionally with pleasure. I take things that don't belong to me for a living...but even a cursory inspection of the Iron Kestrels' battle record and my own file should tell you that we don't destroy innocent lives. Evil like that cannot be tolerated, not in this region, not in the Belt, not in the Solar System, not anywhere in the Milky Way Galaxy. During our brief time on Suleiman 1, we engaged and destroyed two Green Skulls' battleships and a complement of slightly under ninety mecha. I'm proud to say we did it without losing a single pilot, mostly due to the superior ability of our aces and the strength of our machines."

Red Siren gestures at the cameraman as you talk, and he hits a few buttons to change the view from the battle on top of Gretchen's transport to the footage of the ships. The view pans around, showing the colony from several angles, and the Rhinehawk and Yamato on an intercept course with the Green Skulls' cruiser. The footage then zooms in to show the Knuckle Kaiser holding up a peeled-up slab of hull plating while the Osano-Wo prepares to stab its heat swords into the ship's reactor core. The footage plays, the explosion relatively small against the backdrop of the asteroid.

"I come from a working-class family on Io. I know what it's like to suffer at the hands of more powerful people and not being able to do a damned thing about it. It may be a little too sentimental for someone in my profession, but I wasn't willing to sit by and let it happen to the colonists. So I put an end to their sickening behavior, and I made sure not a single Green Skull survived."

Gretchen points, "What kind of mech is THAT!?"

[Continued]
>>
>>47278848
Goddammit Oda.
>>
>>47278882
No, she's probably looking at the zam. Hopefully not the betta.
>>
>>47278848
stay calm, let her explain. No need to drop spagetti if we are already going to say something.
>>
>>47278848
>DAMAGE CONTROL

No idea just some mech we found in the colony it had some pretty powerful weapons so we took it
>>
>>47278927
>I thought it was a green tomato. So I looted it.

>Pirate.
>>
If it's Green and nasty, probably a Green Skull prototype
>>
>>47278848
What's the point of all this, by the way? In a few hours Haman is just going to have a press release calling us liars, show their version of the combat footage (which i'm sure will look completely real) that has us blowing up the colony, and that'll be the end of it.
>>
>>47278991
The seed of doubt, anon.

And because we're about to get a bunch of women who will never believe Roarke could do any evil because TEN COOL NIGGA
>>
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You smile, "That? Some military prototype. Apparently it had been left behind and taken by the Green Skulls. The miners were using it on the asteroid, apparently by UJCIDF recommendation...an unfortunate mistake, but then, who could have predicted the Green Skulls would show up and try to take it? Luckily, we took it back."

"Are those Bluegills carrying it!?"

"Yes. We would like to personally thank whichever member of the UJCIDF left several broken Bluegills floating in space. Rest assured, those machines are still killing bad guys." You grin roguishly at the camera, "The Bluegill is still a damned fine mech."

Several of the girls watching, you would surmise they're the Bluegill pilots, swoon and grin at you, only being held back by a few of Red Siren's people in scarlet-and-pink body armor. One of them shouts out, "WE LOVE YOU ROARKE STARWIND!"

You do your best to maintain your composure as another hurls her underwear onto the set, which earns her a very sharp look from Gretchen, who then continues, "So, did all of this happen as soon as you arrived?"

You shake your head, "No, first one of our scouts made her way onto the colony at great personal risk, once we ascertained that there were still people there we used our mecha rather than our warships...despite the fact that at the time we had the advantage in space...and I led a small rescue mission. We used surgical strikes with small numbers of ace units to eliminate the Green Skulls before they could burn any more villages or cause any more damage." Footage plays showing you destroying the Green Skulls' Warmouth and Morgan II. Thankfully without the audio track, otherwise ROARKEMANIA would hit the holonet's imageboards like a railgun, "Afterwards, I took a handful of my pilots and some aces to neutralize the prototype."

"That sounds really dangerous! Weren't you scared?" Gretchen sounds worried.

[Continued...by the way, there WILL be more input needed from you guys soon!]
>>
>>47278991
Eh, we said it first. Plus we're blaming the skulls. If the Navy reacts strongly and tries to jump on it fast, it'll set off red flags all over the place
>>
>>47278848
>That, my dear, is the Tarrasque. Equipped with a Primary Mega Particle Accelerator Cannon with a range up to 800m that could and almost did killed yours truly. Built by the UJCIDF, one would ask why such a mech was left on a mining colony?
>>
>>47278991
One thing to ask on TV: where did they get this footage anyway?
>>
>>47279031
Haman's response: Some poor doomed amateur filmmaker on the colony took these before being killed by depressurization. Our forces found it while looking for survivors.
>>
>>47279019
"Didn't think about it at the time. I was too busy fighting bone heads and worrying about my crew at the time
>>
>>47279041
COME ON PEOPLE ITS 20XX JUST LOOK AT THE PIXELS
>>
>>47279026
Nah, they can play it like we're trying to push responsibility onto someone else. Make it a moral thing - we're not only butchers, we're liars and cowards who can't stand our actions being brought to light.
>>
>>47279041
>Fined the one amateur filmmaker on Suleman 1
> Notorious for making bad mechanical B movies
> known far and wide as the only filmmaker on Suleman
>currently making a documentary from the cockpit of his harpy in his cool Kestrel's jacket
>Checkmate
>>
>>47279041
>tfw by sheer luck "That would be my wife, and she neither had a PC, nor could she operate one if her life depended on it."

>inb4 Blah blah anecdotal evidence blah blah pirate scum blah blah "Primary source who is in no way beaten and interrogated"
>>
>>47279019
"Scared? No, my dear, the opposite. It's why I am at the front lines using nothing but my fists. My blood boils for a fight like that."
>>
>>47279019
>Not for a second I knew I had to make it back for that special girl
>Then do the Roarke Starwind grin to the camera
>>
>>47279074
You sly dog
>>
>>47279074
>10 COOL
>>
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You give her a brave smile, "It's sweet that you care. I'll admit, when I saw it I panicked a little." You chuckle modestly, "It was a big machine, and a big gamble. Still, I guessed that if we used our numbers, which were superior by that point, to corner the Green Skulls on the asteroid directly, they would take the miners hostage. Instead I opted for a small strike force that could operate in the dense canyons and tunnels and hit the prototype where it was vulnerable." There's a brief shot from the KK's ASP showing your fists peeling through the damaged rear armor of the Tarrasque and reaching within, along with your Bluegills dodging its fire in the background.

"A big machine even for you! So what was the next step of your master plan?" Gasps Gretchen, tugging reflexively on her twintails.

"We crashed the Green Skulls' cruiser with no survivors. A precise blow to the engine core disabled it while leaving it intact enough to be...well, I'm sure you don't need to hear the details of looting an enemy's ship." You're a pirate, it's expected.

"Once we were finished, we celebrated our victory over some of the Belt's best beer and went to repair our machines. To tell you the truth...I only found out about the tragedy because I watch your show." You lean closer to Gretchen, who looks touched, "You covered it very professionally, I don't blame you for giving me a rather nasty shock when I saw the devastation."

She blushes even more, "A-Admiral...I-I mean Roarke, um..." She's momentarily off-balance, but then recovers herself with a true journalist's dignity, "So, you're saying...?"

"Yes. When I left, Suleiman 1 was still intact. In my opinion, losing against a bunch of upstarts like us must have been an awful blow to the Green Skulls' pride. General Fairchild has already made a declaration, do you mind if I make one too?" You adjust your shades, looking firm and authoritative as you get even more serious.

Gretchen waves for you to go ahead.

[Continued]
>>
>>47279110
First the general seduces her, now us. I guess it pays to be a popular news anchor.
>>
>>47279130
Waiting for the propaganda three-way
>>
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>>47279110
>A big machine even for you! So what was the next step of your master plan?
>We crashed the Green Skulls' cruiser with no survivors.
>>
>>47279110
We now can prove to the galaxy at large

That Roarke is the realest of niggas.
>>
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You clear your throat, "To whoever did this, I am coming for you. You had better hope that the tender mercy of the UJCIDF finds you, because when I catch you nothing will stop me from ripping you apart. I don't care how many mecha and ships you throw against me, or how powerful they are, I will rip through them like the fist of a vengeful deity and I will pluck your rotted heart right out of its chest before I crush you with the Knuckle Kaiser. There is no desolate crater, no barren moon, no distant, wild world where you will be safe from me. I am coming, and justice marches with me." Your fists clench, and your voice has an undercurrent of deep, passionate anger by the end.

Gretchen is fanning herself a little, and so is Red Siren, who looks impressed despite her habitual cool, "You...you're really not frightened, even of the Green Skulls?" The reporter murmurs, batting her eyelashes.

You shake your head, "Not for a second. After all, just as I did then, just as I am now, I know I have to make it back for that special girl who's waiting for me." You give the Roarke Starwind grin to the camera at full blast and the air melts with a chorus of soft, feminine sighs from your audience.

Gretchen melts for a moment, "So, Roarke~ You're also wanted for a pair of high-profile kidnappings, both of girls from prominent and respected families. Do you care to make a comment on that?"

>[What comment do you care to make?]
>>
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>>47279138
>tfw you didn't think anything of those lines til anon pointed it out

fug
>>
>>47279110
fucking Bane posting is still alive. We need to go onto Space 4chan and see what new dank memes have been made.
>>
>>47279130

The general hit on her. You have no evidence for or against her succeeding.
>>
>>47279163
You had her swooning, that seems to indicate success.
>>
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>>47279110
Got you.
>>
>>47279158

I don't know if anyone caught it earlier, but it's a known fact that Karen posts on imageboards.

And she probably shitposts on /mec/
>>
>>47279152
What? We only kidnapped Fatima didn't we? I don't remember another noble.
>>
>>47279177
SAM
>>
>>47279177
TV is saying we abducted Sam.
>>
>>47279175
I was gonna say later that we should have Karen and Avi shit post about how great we are and see who anons say will kick our ass so we can research them
>>
>>47279177
i'm pretty sure it refers to Sam. remember that officially she's our prisoner.
>>
>>47279152
Roarke doesn't actually know Sam is from an actually respectable family, does he?
>>
>>47279175
We're never ever going to be able to leave this place, even in the far future. I'm not sure what i should be feeling.
>>
>>47279152
Farahim is an honored guest of the Iron Kestrels. She is unharmed and will remain so until her safe return to her fiancee.
>>
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>>47279192
>>
>>47279187
We should use Space /pol/ to find Space Jews to rob.
>>
>>47279197
>implying even death will provide sweet release

Remember, you're here -forever-.
>>
>>47279177
She means Sammy. Play it cool.

>>47279152
Well, as said, we treat out captives with dignity and respect. Those who have been captured will be ransomed or put under care until it is safe to do so. We are not barbarians and while they are on board they are treated with the dignity they have earned and deserved.

Keeps it vague without pushing out any truths or the like. We are treating them with respect and the like after all~
>>
>>47279168

Did she?

>Gretchen looks a little terrified, "That...that's really intense. I'm not even a pirate and I'm shaking a little."

>The General gives her a smile that almost looks genuinely warm, "Miss Colburn, you have nothing to be afraid of. I am always pleased to see you, and I'm very much a fan of the show. You're always welcome to come to me for a private interview whenever you like, in a setting a bit more intimate than this. Don't tremble, now." She pats her hand, and stands up.

>"Y-y-yes, um, thank you for coming on today! General Hermione Fairchild, everyone! See you after these messages!" The camera does that thing all news shows seem to do where it pans out while the reporter and guest chat.

>Then it cuts to commercial.

>"Hey Dude, I don't mean to distract you but there's a group of Siren's guards outside." Richard says.

Of course, you can always ask her.
>>
>>47279200
Considering that Mars is a major power now, it's probably full of righteous Muslims instead of righteous Nazis

And Allahu Akbhar instead of Deus Vult
>>
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>>47279152
Damn Roarke. No mercy for the women out in space eh?

"Of course both girls are safe and sound on board my ship." If we wink I hope its the, "I want to be your prisoner", wink.
>>
>>47279202
> you died
>there is only heavenchan and hellchan
>the only difference is the background color.
>>
>>47279214
>shitpost on both
>>
>>47279214
Is being on the red board good or bad?
>>
>>47279214
>implying there isn't a special limbochan for the truest of NEETs

Get on my level, neither heaven nor hell could contain MY autism.
>>
>>47279214
Hellchan sounds like it's easier on the eyes.
>>
>>47279210
and probably full of 40k PRAISE THE EMPEROR level stuff since we don't know what Earth is like right now.
>>
>>47279189

He has some idea. She's very well-bred, the very picture of fine Jovian womanhood.

Despite being what Yoritomo would call "a precious otoko no ko, a mythological creature of Japanese lore!"
>>
>>47279224
I believe you, anon.
>>
>>47279152
the two of them are being treated very well by myself and my crew, and will remain as such until I am able to reunite them with their families.
>>
>>47279210
We could also use it to find the last Australian shitposter.
>>
>>47279245
second
>>
>>47279233
Wong, are there Space Russians and /k/ommandos running around with AKs and Nuggets?
>>
>>47279246
>the last australian
>survivor of all the fucked up horrible mutated wildlife after earth got fucked up
That is one motherfucker we do not want to mess with.
>>
>>47279246
>How can anyone use the word "cunt" so frequently?

>What's a "drongo"?

>Something about a baby dingo..
>>
>>47279257
>implying we wouldn't recruit his ass
>>
>>47279246
lets be real here, who do you think they modeled the Green Men after?
>>
>>47279263
That nigga went feral decades ago. It's just that nothing can kill him anymore.
>>
>>47279257
>implying its not just a picture of our father and pregnant mother
>>
>>47279268
Abos?
>>
>>47279270
motherfucker became immortal after cooking and eating one green man in one sit.
>>
>>47279288
>kept muttering something about shrimp and barbie while doing so
>>
>>47279288
>Green men invading Earth land in Australia
>Few survivors manage to flee back to space with terrible tales of vicious creatures that spoke an unknown language
>>
>>47279297
>He's just been listening to Land Down Under for the past 100 years
>>
>>47279288
>Green men sent a recon force to australia to begin the invasion of earth
>after they saw the footage of what the last australian did to them, they called the invasion off
>>
>>47279305
>Only way to get him out of his berserker-esque state. That or a Fosters
>>
"We treat our captives with dignity and respect. That's just good business. Both girls are safe and sound aboard my ship, and will remain so until they are reunited with their families. We have already arranged a ransom for Lady Fatima Ahmad with her fiance, and I would like to ask everyone watching to please wish them happiness on their special day." You give the camera a sunny smile. It costs nothing to do a nice thing for Fatima, and she hasn't tried to bite you at all recently.

"Yes! And a special acknowledgment to our Martian viewers...I got the models you sent me, guys, love those designs!" Gretchen picks up a model of some kind of spider-like walking tank and smiles at the camera while holding it, "But Roarke, I'm still curious...what kind of ransom are you asking from the UJCIDF for Corporal Blanchett, or has their policy of not negotiating with pirates when it involves an active crime hindered your attempts to return her safely home?"

>[What say?]
>>
>>47279304
>Green Men turn white, when they here Him call for Vegemite!
> the last Bogan on Earth!
>>
>>47279323
Make up a request thats just a little beyond unreasonable so we can act like we tried to give her back
>>
>>47279323
We about to fall off the board.

"That's easy. The UJCIDF can have Corporal Blanchett back as long as she gets reunited with her brother safely and with full freedom. I won't break apart a family."
>>
>>47279311
>Even today, the Green Men flee whenever they hear the words "STRAYA CUNT!"
>>
>>47279323
"negotiations are postponed at the moment, and I wanted to clear the air about Suleiman 1 before we continued. hopefully things will work out soon"
>>
>>47279323
>"The last time I had a real conversation with the UJCIDF was when I apprehended Ms. Blanchett. Thus far they have not been forthcoming and I can't get a hold of her brother to ask where to drop her off."
>>
>>47279323
Once we can establish contact with her family, negotiations can begin in earnest until then she'll remain in safe hands.
>>
>>47279256

The /k/ommando is a breed that never dies. As for Slavs, most probably, although I can't guarantee their culture has survived intact. Roarke is pretty American, but that comes mostly from his musical tastes and the Iron Kestrels having a very American uniform. People like Oda, who very specifically carry on the cultural traditions of a single nation, are pretty rare. Even on Mars, you have guys with Turkish names working with guys with Arab names, and some look very Persian and could easily be mistaken for a Westerner if you encountered them in the 21st century.

>>47279268
>>47279280

The original idea was that the Green Men could be trusted with their vast intellect and superior physical abilities when the first ones were made because they were by nature less aggressive and carnivorous than normal humans. A lot of the big genetic engineers and terraforming scientists believed in new-new-age theories about how a new type of human could elevate humanity to new levels of togetherness as we entered space, after all.

So really, using Australian DNA would have been an awful idea and we would have seen mega-emus roaming Mars within a decade while the Green Men called everyone soft cunts and pooftas.
>>
>>47279323
Well, the situation is rather tense for the time being with the new stance taken towards piracy, so setting up negotiations will take time. Of course, if the worried brother would like to contact his sister, then we would be all for it. Wouldn't want family to worry for family.
>>
>>47279373
Ahhh.. thats a shame. No space canadians operating a giant shield system and enduring multiple gassings from space germany.
>>
>>47279373
Australian green men would've just marginalized and disenfranchised the muslims on mars, though, rather than start a extrasolar war of annihilation.
>>
>>47279403
if there were australian green men, there would be a new australia instead of Mars
>>
So there are two results.

Either the General looks at this and thinks "He's a sneaky little shit." or sees all the flirting and thinks "Oh holy shit he really is retarded.".

Fifty fifty either really good for keeping us low on the radar or setting off huge red flags.
>>
>>47279418
>or sees all the flirting and thinks "that fucker is moving in on my woman"
ftfy
>>
>>47279418
honestly, I'm waiting for Keith to call in to bitch about us honeydicking half the ship
>>
>>47279437
You mean the entire QTPI News audience. We did score a critical on every maiden's and auntie's heart.
>>
>>47279437
>Implying we will answer his call.

He already had several bones broken after using Cemmy's PC to contact us. He's got no way to contact us and that's fine. The more frustrated he is the more we can laugh at him.
>>
>>47279437
Keith would spill so much spaghetti on national news. He'd probably admit he was the one who thought the zam should be used for mining.

>>47279450
Any being that can be moved by the d, shall be moved by the D.
>>
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>>47279453
If necessary we can always find more direct ways to laugh at him
>>
>>47279476
we can use clemmy to laugh at him. she might even put on her starwind® mask to make it more realistic.
>>
>>47279476
>find Jesus' tripcode on 4chan

>hijack it and post a fuckload of quasi-porn and get him permabanned

>do it to his social media accounts as well

>send him an email telling him that his passwords were shit
>>
>>47279465
>This criminal is lying to you all about everything, that mech wasn't a Green Skull prototype at all they don't have the intelligence to even create something half as well as our joven masterpiece
>>
>>47279490
>she took the cover off the bodypillow and cut arm and eye holes into it
>>
>>47279503
>she didn't take off the accessories, though
>>
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>>47279502
>Fairchild's fw
>>
"It has been difficult. I want to establish contact with her brother and let them speak directly, it seems like the most decent way to do it. Obviously I want to be paid, but I don't want to break up a family. I understand the delay, though, and believe me when I say that it's no problem. I, too, want to clear the air about Suleiman 1 and ensure I have a clean reputation before we can negotiate in good faith, and until then Samantha...Miss Blanchett...is a welcome guest aboard the Rhinehawk." You smile...then decide to crack a little joke, "But if any of the UJCIDF top brass is listening, I've always wanted one of those Wels-class battleships.. If you don't mind painting it in my colors before you hand it over, I'd be especially pleased."

Gretchen pokes her fingertips together, "Well, you're a very charming captor, I can tell. As our listeners at home can probably tell, we're all safe here, although most of our gallant mecha are missing their arms." She pouts, "...You still deserved that missile."

"I know I did." You reply archly.

"By the way, what's the model of your machine?" Gretchen, a clear and obvious mech enthusiast, leans closer, her hand creeping up your arm.

"The Knuckle Kaiser? It's a Thoroughbred-MP from Bucephalus Heavy Industries, War-Era. I picked it up on an asteroid." There's no point in hiding it, you're sure the military technicians have analyzed that already.

"A Thoroughbred! I heard they were cursed...and...you know...all destroyed." She gasps.

You see the opportunity, and look at her over the rims of her shades, "They said I was destroyed too, but some classics never die." You wink.

She blushes, and turns to Red Siren, "Wow! This is such an honor, getting to interview you AND Roarke. So, you believe what he's said?"

[Continued]
>>
>>47279503
>she left the extra attachments on purpose.
>>
>>47279437

He would be more likely to if it wasn't for the fact that he doesn't believe you destroyed the colony, according to Clemmy.
>>
>>47279516
>>47279510
Of course!

And she approaches Keith while hip-thrusting.
>>
>>47279514
>"They said I was destroyed too, but some classics never die." You wink.

I think I'm starting to fall for Roarke. I ain't even gay though. Too much Cool.
>>
>>47279530
someone needs to make a gif of that.
>>
>>47279528
Oh right, Jesus has stupid high empathy but no Cool. What a jackass.
>>
So everyone realizes the general is going to send a fleet at auditorium the moment this interview hits the net, right?
>>
>>47279562
>implying that wasn't the plan all along
>>
>>47279562
If she wanted to do that, she would've done it already
>>
>>47279567
She didn't have confirmation of our location. Now she does.
>>
>>47279562
>Implying that the Auditorium can't move locations
>>
>>47279571
>declared war on pirates

>doesn't go after the NEON FUCKING SIGN THAT EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT THAT IS THE AUDITORIUM

I mean, yeah, sure, she can say she's going to kill ALL the pirates and totally ignore them. She totally needs us as an excuse at this point.
>>
>>47279583
She very publicly declared war on us alone, and privately just wants us dead for interfering with her plans. That's a pretty different motivation.

Especially for auditorium, which is functionally a normal business.
>>
Rosita smiles warmly, "Absolutely. Roarke is a sweet man even if he can be a bit of a brawler. I thought nothing could shake his cool until he came to me so tense and full of anger...even a few tears...oh stop looking at me like that, Roarke, people should know that you care! He takes the tragedy of Suleiman 1 incredibly personally, and frankly I support him and his cause completely. Roarke Starwind is not a mass-murderer. Besides, I'm sure you've all seen his ships plastered across your screens, beam batteries of that size are useful against other ships but couldn't crack a colony lengthwise like that. At worst, you'd be seeing a big melted canyon crack in an otherwise-intact superstructure, but this is in pieces. That takes a sustained barrage with some serious firepower, at its least expensive."

Gretchen grins, "So, what do you have to say about the rumors that Roarke Starwind keeps one of your posters in his cockpit?"

"They're true. I gave it to him years ago. He was good to me then, and he's been a good man ever since. He claims it's the reason why he survived being shot down, and I know he brought it with him to the new mech." She winks archly, drinking in the faintly jealous gasps from the audience with a hint of smugness.

"What do you have to say about the OTHER rumors?" Gretchen waggles her eyebrows smugly.

Red Siren's saintly grin becomes more sharklike, "Ohohohoho...well, he IS quite the man. Roarke is like a lion. You can admire him and pet his mane, but never tame his heart. I just..." For once she looks flustered, and falters, "I like being with him." You recognize the telltale signs as she puts her arms around you and hugs you close, "He's my hero. If that makes me biased, I don't care, I'm biased because he IS a good man. Even if my record sales go down for saying so, that's fine. He keeps my heart warm."

"Are you alright?" Gretchen looks a bit worried.

Red Siren smiles, "Yes, I'm a pillar of calm. Absolutely calm."

[Continued]
>>
So, how good is Big Zam's main cannon against ships?
>>
>>47279602
Wonder how many people who are watching this are going to kill themselves after that
>>
>>47279623
Other than crits?

Absolute shit. It literally cannot hurt a ship without a crit or megacrit.
>>
>>47279623
It's the single highest damage mech weapon we've seen. Since mechs get crits and supercrits against ships pretty easily, it'll probably pop ships like firecrackers.
>>
>>47279633
Just realised that we should probably give Clemmy the "talk" after this
>>
>>47279633
>a new pirate crew is formed, styles themselves after Yin-Yang
>men want revenge on Roarke for stealing their waifu
>women want Roarke for themselves
>>
>>47279652
>THAT WHORE TOOK MY ROARKY-POO! I'LL RIP OUT HER WOMB! I'LL TEAR OFF THOSE HUGE TITS AND THAT PRETTY FACE OF HERS!

Oh boy.
>>
>>47279653
>implying they won't destroy themselves because their goals are totally different.
>>
>>47279637
We tore apart a battleship with 6k weapons, yoritomo killed it with 5k weapons. The main cannon on the zam is 16k.
>>
>>47279638
FLAGSHIP: the Rhinehawk
Stats:
Heavy Striker Hull (1000 Kills, 10 Spaces all occupied)
Medium Weight Armor (60SP),

Weaponry:
Port Medium Beam Battery (WA +0, 4000m range, 100K, Space 2, Port 180-degree Arc only)

Energy Shield gives 1000K health. Can't touch the hull underneath even with crit. Large Batteries do 200K damage. Nah it does jack shit damage. The only way to kill a ship with a mech is through sheer volume of attacks on a non-shielded hull (AKA our 8 attack per turn or Oda's 4 per turn). More chance for the megacrit table to proc explode.
>>
>>47279665
We only hurt it because crits, though.

If it weren't for crits we would be literally incapable of causing damage to starships of any kind.
>>
>>47279676
Mechs crit a lot against ships. This is baked into the math.
>>
>>47279686
Man you are really ignoring the point, aren't you?
>>
>>47279694
You know how mobile suits can absolutely wreck starships? The mechanics of this game are built to emulate that, +8 to any hit against starships IIRC
>>
>>47279694
Unless the formula for crits completely ignores damage done, you have no point.
>>
>>47279701
>>47279705
For fuck's sake this entire fucking time I've been saying that the strength of the weapon is irrelevant at this stage because it fucking is. WITHOUT CRITS

LIKE I HAVE SAID MANY FUCKING TIMES

THE MECHS WE HAVE CAN'T HURT THE SHIPS

WITHOUT CRITS

WHICH SHIPS CAN NEGATE WITH SHIT LIKE SHIELDS

Fuck me. The K's don't fucking matter is what I have been saying. You fucking retards.
>>
>>47279705
Please kindly fuck off. Crits may bypass armour but that doesn't mater for killing Ships. We didn't do 1000K damage to the battle cruiser. We rolled on the megacrit table and got explode 3 times. The battle cruiser resisted twice but failed the last one and instantly exploded.
>>
>>47279718
>WHICH SHIPS CAN NEGATE WITH SHIT LIKE SHIELDS
You have a reference for that?
>>
>>47279725
And the math around resist rolls is what, exactly?
>>
"Roarke~" Rosita nestles her cheek against your shoulder. Sure, you know she might be trying to make the other girls a little jealous, but you also know that there's more to it than that. Fortunately, Gretchen has more than just a cute face going for her as a reporter.

"So, we're all anxiously awaiting news of your latest album. It's called...Wolf Girl, right?"

"That's right. Awoooo~!" Red Siren winks, "It's a bit more primal than my earlier work, and a bit more mature I think, displaying the animal sensuality that we should all learn to embrace within ourselves."

You temporarily zone out their talk about music, slightly disconcerted by the way the pilots are looking at you. You think one of them is on the verge of drooling, and with some trepidation you remember that Gretchen picked them up to do a scoop on young female pilots joining the UJCIDF because of you.

Even the damned tomboy who almost headbutted you...you think, she's the most tomboyish of the group...is looking at you like she wants to unwrap you and gobble you up like a piece of fine Lunarian chocolate.

On the other hand, they're not totally helpless pilots. Maybe recruiting them is worth the risk. Or maybe it's a terrible, awful idea. Having serious fans is still somewhat new to you.

"So, what about the rumors about you and General Fairchild, hmm?" Red Siren is teasing Gretchen.

The reporter waves it off with slightly callous disregard for the General's feelings that might be somewhat unwise and influenced by your presence, "Please. We're just friends, she's probably just interested in my collection of figurines. By the way, Roarke...I'd like to know more about you. I'm always overjoyed to give such a sensational pirate a private interview, and I'd love to discuss it with you wherever and whenever you want. Please? For me? I promise no softball questions and a lot of fun."

>[What say, while you're being the smoothest pirate alive?]
>>
>>47279738
Seriously. FUCK OFF. It rolls a 1d10. 1-5is explode. 6-10 is resist. It gets -1 on the next time it rolls to resist if it does so successfully.
>>
>>47279744
>>47279748
>being this butthurt at questions
Your autism is showing.
>>
By the way, in case the thread dies and since these are just fluffy questions at this point, game resumes Wednesday at the usual time. Be there or be assigned to Jesus' squad without Clemmy.
>>
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>>47279745
Let's mirror what General Fairchild did to Gretchen. Exact moves and words.
>>
>>47279745
>Miss [last name] are you asking me out on a date? If so I would be thrilled, just think about it you, me and the most elegent restaurant this side of the galaxy, then dancing then, maybe you? Hows friday?

>>47279770
>Thread on my b-day
Truly the best gift
>>
>>47279745
>"Unfortunately an Admiral's job is never done. And it would be remiss of me to put you in harm's way any further than I already have by forcing you to give me the time of day."

We really shouldn't indulge her. Also because Fairchild is REEEEEEing so hard right now. I don't feel comfortable dragging the crew around for Roarke to be poon. Don't split the party.
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>>47279755
>gets told the math because anon is tired of his shit

>lolbuttmad

Well okay then. That argument is settled, I guess.
>>
>>47279786
We aren't splitting the party. What are you talking about? We are just giving her permission to interview us. She can come to us. Not us coming to her.
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>>47279786
Wait. Damn. I don't know how I managed to replace "get" with "be". I need some sleep.
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>>47279799
>gets buttmad at anons asking for clarification of rules
>HUE HUE I TOLD YOU
ah, autism.
>>
>>47279771
>>47279777
>>47279786

I AM going to find a way to combine these, so help me Jove!
>>
>>47279807
>wanting to rustle the jimmies of the women already clinging to Roarke
>>
>>47279821
They knew what they were getting into
>>
>>47279812
But he did tell you.

He literally did.

Like I don't know what you are getting at. You were all throwing tism fits and then when he called you on your shit you thought memeing at him would make you the victor? Now you're doing it to me?

Yeah, okay. Have fun with that.
>>
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"Well, an Admiral's job is never done, and I'd hate to put you in harm's way with my boring life..." You give the twintailed girl plenty of line, but she's swallowed your bait and is swimming right for shore.

"I'd be honored to give you a private interview. Really. Any time you like." She bats her eyelashes.

"Are you asking me to dinner, Miss Colburn? I'd be thrilled. We'll find an elegant restaurant, someplace where we can chat the night away."

"Yes! Yes! Um, I mean...that would be very nice." Gretchen smoothes out her hair, looking very pleased with herself.

"You never have to worry while you're with me. I am always pleased to see you, and I'm very much a fan of the show. You're always welcome to come to me for a private interview whenever you like, in a setting a bit more intimate than this. Just don't tremble, now." You wink at her, deliberately imitating General Fairchild's words...only you don't pat her hand. She's already leaning so close to you, it's easy to snag the arm of her chair and pull it right up close, slipping your arm around her waist and hoisting her onto your lap. With the reporter sitting comfortably on you and Red Siren nestled against your side, you give the camera a winning smile and say, famously, "Let's go to commercial, shall we?"

>[End Session]
>>
Goddamn do I regret asking the question now.
>>
>>47279827
Fucking your oldest friend is one thing, fucking a random goddamn reporter who was just the other day talking shit about you is another. Calm your dick.
>>
>>47279821

We're going to rustle a lot more than their jimmies.

We are going to fill the galaxy with young Roarke Starwinds so that if the Green Men ever come back they'll find a storm of fists awaiting them.
>>
>>47279587
>She very publicly declared war on us alone
Nope, all pirates
>which is functionally a normal business.
Nope, outright kidnaps people and engages in straight up piracy. Even her records aren't actually legal.
>>
>>47279853
Sam is a pretty random chick too. Chill man, it's what Pirates do. Red Siren and Karen actually have history and reason to have mutual love with Roarke. Not to mention Red Siren is cool with it even before she was a pirate.
>>
>>47279832
The one throwing autism fits is the one screaming FUCKER ever post, regardless what they are responding to. It seems unlikely there were actually two of you. But keep trying to do...whatever the fuck you're doing.
>>
>>47279863
Bruh if we start putting our dick in any more stuff for no reason we're pretty much just AEQ in space. Please don't.
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>>47279851
>"Let's go to commercial, shall we?"
Do we have to wear two pairs of sunglasses when we go out of public now? We gone get attacked by a crowd of fan girls every time we are seen now.
>>
>>47279863

Sam gets a lot of points for being amazingly chill and a total sis to Karen, though. Plus I'm pretty sure she actually outright loves Roarke, but I forget if she's actually said so.
>>
>>47279851
Good times. Thanks for running, can't wait for the next one.
>>
Lets figure out some things we have to do soon since we habe time in this thread

Talk to Clemmy about the other girls

Talk to our brother and make sure he's safe

Get another mixtape

Have Karen and Avi research possible opponents on space 4chan

Train
>>
>>47279853
It's fine, we have true love Clemmy. One of these days, we'll come back and find out best Clemmy has cleared out all the chaff for us.

It's just Roarke and Clemmy. Roarke and Clemmy and their adventures. ROARKE AND CLEMMY FOREVER AND FOREVER A HUNDRED YEARS Roarke and Clemmy.. some...things.. Me and Roarke and Clemmy runnin' around and... Roarke and Clemmy time... a- all day long forever.. all a - a hundred days Roarke and Clemmy! forever a hundred times.... OVER and over Roarke and Clemmy... adventures dot com.. W W W dot at Roarke and Clemmy dot com w..w..w... Roarke and Clemmy adventures.. ah- hundred years..... every minute Roarke and Clemmy dot com.... w w w a hundred times... Roarke and Clemmy dot com......."
>>
>>47279892
We need some Credence Clear Water in our next mix tape.
>>
>>47279865
I'm not the one arguing with the guy who wasn't even involved in your little spiel, but okay. Have fun with your victim complex and your unseen enemies. You're all autists.
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>>47279897
I like you.
>>
>>47279902
Safety dance and turning japanese are what I really want
>>
Next time will have the UJCIDF interlude, giving Roarke some downtime before the Fatima Ransoming and letting you see what the hell all of this looks like from the perspective of someone who isn't a pirate.
>>
>>47279912
>turning japanese
We should only play Turning Japanese whenever we team up with Oda and have to kick ass together.
>>
>>47279851
Nice. Thanks for running as always.
>>
>>47279921
The lyrics are about a guy talking about his picture of his waifu
>>
>>47279916
How much CP did we get from this mission? Also don't forget to update our ship on the Master Paste bin.
>>
>>47279897
This reminds me, was Clemmy watching this?

Did she get double seduced because she's delusional and thinks every statement was made about her?
>>
>>47279931
Exactly. Which is why we both sing it, as men who love their waifus.
It's a song for us to bond and become friends over.
>>
>>47279942
>every time Roarke says something sweet on holovids or at all really Clemmy thinks it's directed towards her

Oh boy.
>>
>>47279942
>and thinks every statement was made about her
But anon, every statement WAS made about her.
>>
>>47279939

Soon, I've been meaning to get to it but I spent today figuring out how to build a grunt unit that could actually endanger the Knuckle Kaiser with a good pilot.

As for the CP, that depends on what you're keeping and what you're scrapping for points. I wouldn't make you decide that tonight, of course.
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>>47279931
Soo... Drunk Karaoke duet with Oda?

>>47279942
>that special girl who's waiting for me
Holy shit. I didn't even notice. Clemmy is gonna be in cloud nine when she sees this interview.
>>
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>>47279909
I like you too, anon.
Now, let's go have some fun AT BLIPS AND CHITZ!
>>
>>47279964
Obviously we are taking all of the severed arms.
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>>47279969
I was talking to the potential Allenby waifu to tell the truth
>>
>>47279958

This. I've been sold on her ever since the whole 'you don't treat me like a monster' thing. If she's at all harem-compatible we should marry that girl and produce Usso Starwind.
>>
>>47279964
I think we need to get the Pumpkinseeds to our Blue Gill Joe 1-5.
Please tell me Catherine Zeta Jones is available for us. She's one of the girls that gives me the energy to draw.
>>
>>47279985
>I was talking to the potential Allenby waifu to tell the truth

Uh, who?
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>>47279851
>With the reporter sitting comfortably on you and Red Siren nestled against your side, you give the camera a winning smile and say, famously, "Let's go to commercial, shall we?"

I can't wait to see Fairchild's reaction.
>>
>>47279985

How can I include an Allenby waifu when she's so unfairly perfect?
>>
>>47279994
I don't know but im not gonna stop fighting for it
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>>47279964
I say we keep the mechs, the pilots, and whatever ship they rode in on. we can name the new division under us Zenana.
>>
>>47279991
>>47279662
Replace Roarke with whatever the journalists' name was, and tits with dick and womb with balls and you're golden.
>>
>>47279988

I won't rule anything out even though I didn't have anything planned and kind of wanted to show relationships on the Rhinehawk that don't directly involve Roarke. I never rule anything out.

Except for Miles, she's Richard's. And Maya, she's Avi's despite the age difference.
>>
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>>47280004

That's the spirit.
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>>47280018
>And Maya, she's Avi's

More like Avi is Maya's.
>>
>>47280029
Oda and Clemmy are easily my two favorite characters in this. Grandpa Swordcane is up there too.

But I'm literally only here to hang out with Oda and win over Clemmy.
>>
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>>47280032

You pretty solidly hit the nail on the head, there. I'd point out that, being Ozark's son, he's definitely talented in certain ways...

...but you've already seen that with Ozark's daughter, haven't you?
>>
>>47280029
What character has the highest out of mech combat skill of all the people we have met?
>>
>>47280047
Are you saying Avi has secretly delicious hips and ass?

Pft, Karen isn't Ozark's kid. She wears glasses. Ozark's absolutely superior genes wouldn't allow for that.
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>>47280018
Thanks for giving me hope! Now I gotta change Roarke's course subtlety without railroading too much so we can get more time with Catherine Zeta Jones.
>>
>>47279892
Almost forgot

Find out who spooned with us last night
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>>47280072
It was Fatima, bruh.

And you can't tap that until we're guaranteed we aren't getting paid for her.
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>>47280072
Head cannon pictures it to be CZJ

>>47280047
Wong get on Space Dandy if you haven't already. Dandy reminds me so much of Roarke. This scene would be pretty cool for Karen.
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>>47280091
Then a scene for Red. Seems like the kind of romantic kiss that she dreamt of ever since she was little girl.
>>
>>47280097
And the only pictures we have for Clemmy are hugs.

Tsk, At least Clemmy is getting boned with those hugs, though.
>>
>>47280102
Don't worry I'm spit balling a few scenes in my head for either Clemmy or Red Siren. Just had to make a quick Clemmy chibi one to even it out.
>>
>>47280118
It was joke comrade.

About the breaking of backs.

Like great bear of country greatest.

And sexual innuendo veiled thinly by skelemurder.

You see, comrade, when of use humor like mine, anon's do not read posts for fear of sperging across city blocs.
>>
>>47280118
Make more Clemmy stuff. She needs more CP. That way when we fight her, her mech is a beast and it makes the post fight sex even better.
>>
>>47280134
>Clemmy actually about to win the fight

>Roarke opens vidcomm and is nude from the waist down

>tears off Clemmy's machine's arms when she is uncontrollably masturbating

>it makes her masturbate harder

You know I wouldn't be surprised if she had some toys in her when we finally fight her.



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