>>47838465
They are spec ops, not line soldiers, extremely blunt and head on tactics are a forte by definition.

And some things are surprisingly more effective and viable when you had a chance to practice with them for half a century. In the quantity makes quality sense.

As to behaving irrationally, as per Deathwatch, it's how mounting psychological damage manifests itself in marines. Fear and corruption still get to them, just not in ways humans are used to see.

>>47838465

They are terryfying and almost impervious to most attacks in the fluff. They deep strike through the roof screaming about fureh and empprah wearing blood red armour and swinging revving chainswords to scare the shit out of ppl who see them, as the mythical angels of death that they are should.

Also, they are spec ops AND knights in spess, the latter actually being more important for their behaviour.

And if this still doesn't suit you, then maybe a setting with kilometers long starships that have cannons loaded with fucking chains by hundreds of whipped slaves is not for you.

>>47838465
Holy shit OP

Can we make this guys a thing? Like a less ANGRY!!1! version of the ANGRY Marines?

The Space Marines Chapter of Da spehss muhreens (They put space marines in the line for the name)

No one notices anyhting wrong because everyother chaper is retarded in some way like space wolves namin everything wolf, the world eaters being maniacs, etc.etc...

The Adeptus Retardes is just a particular but loyal chapter.

Impervious to the horros of the Warp becuase thy dont have the brainpower to *fail* to comprehend the incomprehensible. They just default to shoot anything that dosnt look human.

Tzennchian or warp trickery is out because they just dont get anything but service to the Emprah. Riches, power, status, pleasure, eternal life... it just doesnt register as they, all of them, dont really understand anything beyond shooting xenos and heretics.

Chaos cannot touch the passive, idiotic rock-solid block of faith in the Emperor that is Adeptus Retardes.

>>47841280
That is stupid enough to work.

>>47841280
Sure as long as they are solely recruited from potatoes I could see this as a great idea.

>>47838681
>>47840997
>Spec ops
Yes and no.
As per the Great Crusade, most of the Legions, barring the likes of the Raven Guard or Alpha Legion, used Astartes in a Shock Trooper role. The Imperial Army was the main force of the day, but the Legiones Astartes did much of the muscle work. Because of the smaller, less static roles present in 'modern' 40k, as well as the 'smaller' number of Astartes, they're applied in a Spec Ops role.

>>47841280
What would their colors be?

>>47841742
How about OP's pic? white and yellow

>>47841802
Sounds good.

Are their leaders the smartest, or the dumbest?

I'd find the later more fitting, their simple but pure faith in the Emperor somehow steers them right most of the time. At least, they don't fuck up any more than most other chapters.

>Preparing for Xeno attack
>Planetary forces discussing strategic options
>Member of the Adeptus Retardes stands stock still during all of it
>Helmet has him look serious and glowering
>Has no idea what the hell is going on
>Got lost about three minutes in
>Only knows that xenos are coming
>walks out of room while bigwigs are still talking
>*shrugh* "Adeptus Astartes"
>walks to the frontlines
>"CHAAAAARGE!!!!"
>Completely ignoring the IG and the strategy meeting
>Clash headfirst into the xeno horde without regard for common sense
>"Just another Sapce Marine Chapter"

Acting like armored vehicles isn't a drawback when they're wearing armor almost as good as a modern APC.

Also...greater intelligence doesn't necessarily imply greater rationality; because smarter people just rationalize doctrine better e.g. every theologian ever.

>>47841824
Abit of both actually

Smart enough to fool officers from other branches

Dumb enough to come up with the most outlandish plans.


How about this:most of their psykers are not librarians, mostly because they tend to fly under the Retardes Radar.

Adeptus psykers are somehow some of the most powerful psykers in the Imperium. Their faith,rather than the burning fanticism of the Sisters, is an unyielding rock tard-belief- This protects them against most small fries in the warp. Of course they cannot do much more than the basics of a psyker; but they are able to empower the basic abilities so much it doesnt even matter.

>>47842051
Bit of both makes good sense.

>Adeptus psykers are somehow some of the most powerful psykers in the Imperium.
>that explanation

I am actually really digging this, it sounds just reasonable enough to work while having the healthy dosage of silly that makes it entertaining.

What about their techmarines and apothecaries?

>Established comuncation with Eldar ship
>Eldar can feel the potato tier brain power of Tuberculous Maximus
>All the way from their ship
>Engaged into clever manipulations
>Eldar deploys elocuence and prose like few writters can come up with in weeks, basically making it up as he goes
>Tuberculous Maximus sits through it, wondering what 90% of that speech means.
>Finally, Tuberculous speaks
>"...So you are a xenos rigth?"
>"...I am of the eldar, ye--"
>"Fire all torpedoes"
>A red button is pressed and Lancers are fired directly at the Eldar ship
>"...Captain we dont have torpedoes"
>Eldar is pissed off
>"What is the mening of this attack Mon-Keigh"
>Eldar craft being damaged
>Tuberculous responds "It wasnt us! We dont have torpedoes"
>"Second mate scan the surounding area! Find where did those torpedoes came from!"
>"How dare you mon-keigh to--"
>Second mate"Calculations show the attack came from this very ship!"
>"I knew it! prepare for boarding!"
>"Captain we are alreay in the ship!"
>"Those bastards are ahead of us! Sound the alarm! scrable everything! shoot everything we got!"
>Eldar ship is destroyed by the unpredictable and random shooting

>Once again the Adeptus Retardes save the day from the unholy machinations of the Eldar

>>47842089
>What about their techmarines and apothecaries?

Techmarines are an odd mix, they get weird looks because of their "magic", but no one will complain with the guy that give them guns.

RetardesTechmarines are pretty standard for a techmarine. (The mechanicus since long has forgotten how most tech works and uses prayers to remember what they supposed to cut anyways, or uses long rituals that involve "reparing" the whole thing to fix one or two pieces.) They are 'very ortodox' techmarines, not being smart enough to actually make something new, but doing something they learned by repetition is fine.

Apothecaries could be the only people frustrated by the Marines, seeing as they are liable to ignore serious conditions, or overblow the symptoms of a sleeping limb.

>>47842507
Could be the tech marines are selected via autism tests on induction.

With apothecaries being the only "normal" marines they act as care givers but due to their lack of command authority they can't affect the chapterS military doctrine.

Over the generations they continue to select the retards for battle brothers from the home planet that is 80% autistic or potato. This is seen as a good use of those otherwise deemed lessee human stock by the imperium

>>47838465
see
>>47841554

>>47842507
Not too dissimilar to how ork boyz see their meks then really.

>>47842729
>This is seen as a good use of those otherwise deemed lessee human stock by the imperium
Or what is horrifying, is actually seen as quite good stock. Like ogryns but space marine viable? Shit, sign those guys up.

>>47842792
Sorry, to be 100% clear on the "like ogryns" part:

In intellect, simplicity and pure faith in the Emperor. Not in build or abhumanity.

>Alrigth, Poteitus Autisma, let us review this one... more... time.
>"ok"
>"You, look at me, you don't like killing the enemies of you emperor like a pathetic puppet"
>"But I like puppets"
>"No, you dont like BEING a puppet. Alrigth, being. still with me?"
>"yes"
>"So you will join us"
>"who?"
>*Deep breath* "chaos... you will join chaos"
>"But the emprah said"--
>"Who cares what the corpse says!!! You will join Chaos and betray the Chapter!"
>"...But ican still kill xenos?"
>Finally a breakthrough "yes, you may still kill xenos if that is what you wish"
>"...And heretics?"
>"NO! YOU WILL BE THE HERETIC! THAT IS THE POINT OF IT!"
>"but the Emprah said..."
>"AAAAAAIIIIEIEHGHHGHHEHEIEHAIEHIAHEHIAHEHEAIHEIHHEAHIHEHHHEEAAAHEEIHEHEH!!!!!!!!111@QEF235!"#%$&24TFWE4t"$wf24VcgQ24GVQ4"G2$V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
>"...."
>The daemon leaves the mind of the Adeptus Retardes, after somehow suffering an aneurysm.
>"....But I can still shoot traitor marines rigth?"


>Once again the Adeptus Retardes triumphs over the forces of chaos.

>>47842729
Potato mehreens and autismal Techamrines.

I like it

>>47842924
I'm thinking they were created with warhounds Geneseed.

There has been a lot if talk on tg about the characteristics of the Genesee being loyalty and brotherhood which fits quite well with the whole Schick of the chapter.

Plus i doubt any of the first founding loyalist chapters would want theirs used.

>>47843681
The Retardes were made from a "Faulty" Geneseed.

But at this point no one would question a 'Holy geneseed' and they are loyal and do their job well enough but... not really up to standard up there.

That's the thing, the neophytes spend the first years mildly disturbed, but with the geneseed influence on their IQ, they start to see the Adeptus Retardes as 'normal'.

>T'zeench Marines prepare for "just as planned stratagem"
>Purposefully left themselves wide open to a frontal attack
>"No self respecting tactician would fall for such an obious trap, so we really left ourselves open to counterattack when they try to attaack somewhere"
>Suddenly, a chapter arrives
>White armor with yellow accents
>Lead by Tuberculous Maximus
>"ATAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!"
>Adeptus Retardes charge straigth into what would be an obious trap.
>"No chapter would be as stupid as to attack such an obious trap you said, we will get them you said"
>Adeptus Retardes's commander is recognized as a briliant tactician.
>Tuberculous Maximus literally doesnt know the meaning of "tactician".

Once again the Adeptus Retardes save the day

>>47841280
>idiotic rock-solid block of faith

MAGA Marines, amirite? :^)

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>>47842294

What would they're symbol be? What would they're battle cry be? Would they have codex approved numbers because of autistic levels of OCD, or would they be too retarded to pay attention and have ridiculously high numbers?

This Chapter is interesting me.

>>47846935
A simple Aquila, hand painted by the astartes retardes brother on elevation to full battle brother.

I would think that the ocd would lead to a full chapter at all times ok n the home world. Unfortunately due to the retardes factor every time a company goes off on crusade for the emperor; the Co. is raised again; as a chapter is 1000 and they suddenly can only count 900 during the daily roll call.

>>47846935
>What would they're symbol be?
No idea.
A chicken or a yellow parrot they thought was an aquila?
>What would they're battle cry be?
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH"
"Human is not, use the bolt"
(I cant really come up with one... but chances are they have their own rhymes to remember stuff)
>Would they have codex approved numbers because of autistic levels of OCD, or would they be too retarded to pay attention and have ridiculously high numbers?

Numbers would be pretty fluctuating. Unless there is an (autist)techmarine around they would do guesstimates.

They only know of the supposed limit because they hear it all the time. Otherwise, they dont really follow the codex, they stick to the principles: shoot xenos, the Emprah is cool, Shoot heretics; and most common knoledge: there should only be 'bout a thousan of them at a time.(they sometimes forget some went out in mission and churn out a couple dozen more)

>>47846935
Autism != OCD

>>47847070
Is that the best way to be codex adherent and legion sized at the same time? Damn the templars should take note

>>47838465
>Iron Hands
>Massive amounts of time, equipment, training and resources used to create a Space Marine
>Greatest single investment outside of GK that can exist in the 40k universre
>Iron Hands think to cut off parts of their body to replace with cybernetics

Why do they not just forget the biological improvement and transplant themselves in to a majority servitor gun-platform with a Power-Armor derivitive?

>>47841280

Ogryn Space Marines?

>>47847483
See >>47842792

More comedic

I feel like Iniqisitors would utilize (abuse) these marines alot, having them crusade off into any direction they please. Its not like it would take much convincing.

>So theres alot of xenos and heretics and bad guys over there?
>Yes Tuberculous Maximus, and they all hate the Imperium. They hate it and all of the followers of the God-Emperor, and hate the Emperor even more so.
>"ANGRY SCREECHINGS OF HOLY RIGHTEOUSNESS "

>>47838465
Nut sack hasn't dropped or don't possess one? Explains why you are asking this question.

>>47841901
>this accurately describes the Blood Angels and their successor chapters

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>>47842294
>>47844204
Oh god, we need to make this chapter a thing.

>>47838465
Because Grimdark

>>47847989
>ANGRY SCREECHINGS OF HOLY RIGHTEOUSNESS
>REEEEEEE TRAITORS GET OUT

>>47841280
considering that this is what the Emperor set out to create when he first made the Space Marines, it could work

>>47846935
an Aquila painted by a player that forgot to thin his paints first

so what the hell would this chapter have for wargear?
i almost imagine like the bloody magpies where they have all kinds of shit pilfered from battlefields, but unlike them will gladly return shit is people ask for it, kind of like they have no clue whos it is and their kind of like a walking lost and found box.

>>47841439
i think everyone is talking about "present day" astartes, u know, 41k milenium

>>47851190
I would think that their load outs are simple. Bolters, heavy bolters, flamers, and lascannons. Does everything they need without being overly complicated.

But yeah I imagine that they pic up and use anything with a trigger and a cog stamp. Xenos tech and chaos items due to the lake of Aquila or cog is purged.

>>47851274
desu using one tech over the other isn't "easier" as no one really understands anything just keep repeating the sacred rituals which keep the machine spirits happy

>>47847662
But do they need officers to hold their hands while they're in transports?

What if the 2 unnamed primarchs were a potato and an OCD autist?

>>47851576
Well its easier to maintain a small amount of tech (especially when they are the most widely produced and used); compared to a varied amount.

If you want an example look at Russian versus German supply ww2.

That's why I selected the most generic weapons and the most stable (Las vs plas).

The same would go for their armor and vehicles, generic as fuck nothing deviating from the children's book version of the codex astartes (now with 10000% more pictures and diagrams). The original version drawn by the emperor himself ( it's a 5 page flipbook he wrote but never published to explain angels of death to imperial children, discovered in a ruins by a inquisition agent)

>>47851726
I approve of this idea.

The other primarch weren't autistic (pert, dorn, lion el) like tg say, that's just what happens when you are born a superman normal people can't relate to you; but these two... wow they were a while bother level;the reas on for why one has never been discussed, is that he was never found by the emperor.

He's probably still living in that basement in that hive stack he crashed in 10k years ago.

Now the other he was Mr potato head; he was the perfect loyal warrior son; you pointed him at a target and told him that they were the baddies, and let him at it, his screams of delight and sheer terror, deafening and scaring the enemies.

But the emperor couldn't acknowledge this son, packing him off with a special inquisition task force to look after, and hide him from the galaxy.

Stay alive for the morning, thread

>>47851978
>the emperors favorite son is literally retarded
and now i finally understand why horus was such a bitch to instantly fall to chaos, thats gotta suck shit.

>>47851609
Nope, they are brave guys

> Bolters, heavy bolters, flamers, and lascannons. Does everything they need without being overly complicated.
Anything no more complex than: pull trigger, heretics die

>>47852550
Grenades?

>>47851937
This guy gets it

Also, Astartes flipbook. Thats gotta be canon

>>47852581
... maybe not too many explossives

Just read >>47851726 an i think hes in a good direction

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>BROTHER MCGEE, WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE
>HERETICS

>>47838465
>Eldar
>oldest, most advanced species
>void combat strategy
>don't use void shields and fly around in flimsy peices of shit

>Tau
>technologically superior species that studies everybody else in close detail
>extremely limited by dumb FTL
>doesn't try to copy necron technology
>doesn't even try to access the webway

If we look at this shit too closely it all falls apart, anon. Try not to think about it too much.

Important question ! Does the gene seed make them retarded ? or do they recruit retards ?
I prefer the first with a an extra ritual that involves being dropped from "The Holy Stairs of Initiation !"
does that survive the last trial become Astartes and get their implants.
>they where literally dropped when they where reborn

I feel like this chapter would see the orks as the worthiest opponents.
Literally WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH VS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH. i also love the concept that they're to dumb for any warp fuckery to affect them, that they're just to obtuse. Its like playin dnd with a intelligence of 3 or 4, illusion magic just doesn't work on you because you don't understand it.
>tubercolosis maximus, what have you done?
>you just wiped half the planets cities off the map.
>tubercolosis nods vaguely "there where orks there"
>inquisitorshowsvisiblestrain.png
>through clenched teeth "but there where buildings and civilians there too"
>tubercolosous continues to nod vaguely
>lostpotato doesn't understand
>"we killed those orks good"
>inquisitour has fit
>maximus walks off to see if there are anymore orks to kill.
>its a good day to be this dumb

>>47852810
The holy geneseed evolves them to superhuman status via adding of extra holy chromosomes to their genetic makeup. The recruits have a low iq already, but now they have the genetic material back up they're claim to potatodom.

>>47838681
>Spec ops

They aren't. Special operations perform, well, special operations, in support of other forces. Space marines fight alone most of the time.

>>47852810
See >>47843681

>>47852810
Geneseed "defect".

But it actually would be hilarious.

Tests involve emptying their tank on a long road of stairs. Multiple times throught the neophyte-marine transition

>>47852831
>the geneseed contains actually potato genes, because the emperor dropped his lunch that one time in the lab
>"Eh, it's still good"

>>47852916
"Closer to potato, closer to the emprah"

>>47852810

>>47844041
>"Faulty" Geneseed.

>neophytes spend the first years mildly disturbed, but with the geneseed influence on their IQ, they start to see the Adeptus Retardes as 'normal'.

>Some Adeptus Retardes have episodes of something similar to the black rage while in combat

>erratic and wild swings coupled with wrathful screeches

>truly fearsome combatants

>>47853079
>Red Thirst/Black Rage is a tard fit

I will never see Blood Angels (my favourite Chapter, at that) the same way.

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>this whole thread
Wonderful

I'd like to imagine that other chapters regard them with fondness. They know the Redardes's limitations but they also know that there are few so profoundly loyal and in a sense brave warriors of the Emperor.

I think the Retardes view their fellow Space Marines as all their best of friends and are total bros to them (at least in spirit), there is no maybe or perhaps, they WILL help out if they can.

>>47852957
>>47852916
In dire situations a marine can take root and grow into an entire tactical squad in the space of about 12 hours.

Fuck it.

Im screencaping this when the thread dies.

Will repost so we can keep the potatoes going later.

Adeptus Retardes

Using purity seals to prevent chaos/heresy from sticking to them

OP's pic >>47838465

None Purer

The purest mummies

>>47852800
Tau are too young in tech to copy tech of necrons. Like if Roman Empire tried to copy plasmagun technology

>>47854161
This. Even Dark Age of Technology mankind wasn't quite up to Necron level tech.

>>47842824
>Blessed is the mind too small for doubt.

>>47853632
Fondness as long as they don't actually have to work with them. Then it becomes painfully tedious, enough to try to patience of a man that's lived a thousand lives.

>>47841439
>AKTHUALLY, if we were talking about something completely different, you'd be WRONG!

great post, 10/10

>>47854425
Can't disagree, the Retardes can't be without flaws, and co-ordination is not a strength of theirs.

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>>47842089
>What about their techmarines
Hey, this dreadnought ain't got no seat, cap'n! How we supposed to drive it?

>>47852957
OH NO YOU DIDN'T

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>>47854683
Forgot pic.

this is an excellent thread

>>47854497
>>47854425

They are regarded well enough as loyal and dutyful.

But they are /very/ hard to coordinate with other marines beyond having them charge in a general direction. And even at that, there is a non-zero chance for them to mess that one up.

Most 'profesional' chapers such as the ravens have a (non-reciprocal) strained relationship with them for their heavy handed aproach. The spess wolves on the other hand...

>>47842294
>"Second mate scan the surounding area! Find where did those torpedoes came from!"
>"How dare you mon-keigh to--"
>Second mate"Calculations show the attack came from this very ship!"
>"I knew it! prepare for boarding!"
>"Captain we are alreay in the ship!"
>"Those bastards are ahead of us! Sound the alarm! scrable everything! shoot everything we got!"

My sides. Oh god they hurt.

Beautiful.

How would Adeptus Retardes affect tyranids upon being absorbed? Would their genes corrupt biomass with retardation?

>>47856154
They'll start targeting each other since the retard gene makes them see each other as viable biomass to eat or, because they're filthy xenos.

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>>47838465
They spit acid..

>>47851274

Veterans get Ripper guns and Six/Twelves. Funny as hell, some Veteran Sergeants get equipped with Seven/Fourteens.

>>47856154
They start trying to eat each other.

They are biomass and im hungry

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>>47856334
Xenos 'Bout to get SHREKT

>>47856409

Ripper Guns for regular troopers, Mauler Autocannon (Twin-Linked Autocannon) aka Six/Twelve:
"Mauler Cannons have picked up the nickname “Six/Twelve” by regular Guardsman, referring to the number of shots an Ogryn will likely fire before they somehow break it or decide to use the weapon as a club."

>>47842924
And tard wrangler apothecaries

>>47841391
They get their recruits from the world Potatus Minimus

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>>47847294
Add like a sword and maybe a fist in the center of the potato

>>47838465
>Space Marines
>decades of training, maybe centuries
>finest wargear the Imperium has
>just +1 to his stats
>literally as good as a human sergeant

>>47847070
>A simple Aquila, hand painted by the astartes retardes brother on elevation to full battle brother.
you mean finger painted right?

>>47856633
Double dubs show kindly on this proposition.

>>47856633
Or wait, a fist holding a sword by the blade instead of the handle.

>>47856673
I like it.

>>47856673
That's completely fucking retarded. And yet it was a valid tactic with real swords, to hit with the handle to penetrate helmets.

I can totally imagine the Adeptus Retardes seeing that on a old painting and trying it with their chainsaw swords.

>>47856860
He did mean for heraldry.

>>47856883
And you think the Adeptus Retardes wouldn't try it in battle?

>>47856898
No, I was just saying.

>>47854623
Nobody?

>>47856860
>>47856898
Are the Adeptus Retardes legit threats or do their enemies die from laughing?

>>47856946
No, they see them as just another marine chapter.

>>47856946
Even considering how dumb they are, they are hilariously efficient at the one thing they do, which is kill enemies of the emperor.

>>47856946
I'd imagine legit threats in a straight fight, but if you were being sneaky or trying to do something involving stealth/subterfuge, then it would probably be quite easy to get around them.

>>47847294
The techmarines battlecry is REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

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>>47842294
Holy Emperor's Ice Cream.

>>47856860
So they're also throwing their pommels at the opponent?

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>>47857419
>"End dem wightly brudah cuptun potatius!"

>>47857045
Yep it is the Tech-Autismarines are a thing more OCD than Pepe, but still a thing.

>>47856633
>>47856673

Heraldry was handmade by the first chapter master of Adeptus Retardes.

Features a fist holding a sword by the edge, a weird Aquila that migth look like a chicken or a parrot un the rigth ligth, and on the underside of the disk is a representation of their planet, adorned with wings, on a ribbon.

>Handmade by Adeptus Retardes
>Planet

There is a potato in the heraldry.

Good enough?

Is this what happens when the ork codex is unplayable?
We just turn their fluff into a marine chapter.

>>47838681

>They are spec ops, not line soldiers

Depends on the chapter in question, that definition would apply to Raven Guard but definitely not to Imperial Fists. Every chapter has its own creed and fighting style.

>>47857685
>Good enough?
Depends, was his name Potentio Potatos?

>>47857888
And why the hell not?

>>47853632
Like when a battle is nearly won they sub in the retard chapter just to make them feel like they are part of the imperium.

Pity any Imperial Guard commander who has to work with them.

Finesse just goes straight out the window.
Then again, with some Guard commanders, this might be a match made in heaven.
Especially if they have good charismatic officers.

Retardes might actually be come to think of it one of the most tractable Space Marine chapters. If they can be used to their strengths.

Working with Tanith for example would not really go well at all.

>>47859832
A shame they're easy to bait and ambush.

A shame the so-called "element of surprise" never lasts long as a Retarded Marines, when startled, will always shoot first and ask later.
It may not even ask in some cases.

>>47861294
Most of the time they /do/ ask

At whatever they just shot...

Most of the time it cant answer back...

Why don't the Astartes get bombed to high holy heaven as soon as they show up, being that they make a point of being as unstealthy and unsubtle as possible? Why can't armies with the firepower to counter tanks use the same weapons against the Astartes? How has nobody figured out to counter the brilliant strategy of getting launched from orbit and killing everyone?

>>47861682
>Why don't the Astartes get bombed to high holy heaven as soon as they show up,
Everyone tries but they move faster than a tank's turret.

>Why can't armies with the firepower to counter tanks use the same weapons against the Astartes?
Because anti-tank weaponry is 40K is so shitty assumes the target will behave like a tank, being slow and shit. Fuck they are retarded 10K years and they havent discovered RPG machineguns. Oh wait the Bolters fire fist sized explossive bullets.

>ow has nobody figured out to counter the brilliant strategy of getting launched from orbit and killing everyone?
They are probably stupid, i mean is obious the answer is... rigth, you dont have one.

Falling from orbit isnt genuis but it gets them there, smashes some xenos and is a relatively covert way to arrive. Relative as in harder to spot and shoot than an actual plane.

>>47841824
Make the crown of their helmets a nice, bright yellow.
Speshul helmets for very special forces.
Bright yellow thunder hawks with scholum and a black stripe on the side launching from the battle barge 'shortius omnibus'.
Chapter motto, in retardum fidelis,

>the first company of retardes are those which are privy to the emperor's holy raptor strength
>upon seeing the few things that can actually upset them, they go utterly beserk, a whirling maelstrom of death and destruction
>the more of them there are together, the more their laten psychic fields enrage each other into even greater strength
>only the apothecary-handlers can bring them out of this rage-filled state

>>47862908
Literal tard wranglers for the glorious raptards

>>47862908
>>47863668


>>47853079
>>47853599


Well, Tardmarines Anon -Glorious Special Derrailer- here (if that even matters at this point) But these /these/ are goddamn canon.

>>47857419
>>47857574

Skallafags pls go

Hmmm so current chapter make up is

Homeworld garrison: standard codex astartes size (1000 battle brothers + support e.g command + autism marines)
Crusading companies : no. and size varies depending on the chapter masters various moods, and the resulting casualties suffered.
Librarians : none (due to mental deficiencies those psykers that survive initiation are not trained; latent psykers are common, with astounding results occurring; both good and bad)
Apothecaries : none ( due to lack of mental capacities the operations normally carried out by apothecaries is handled by the chapter serfs, otherwise known as the Caregivers, extra duties include the sedation of marines that are to excited after combat ends)
Terminators : few to none, the few surviving suits are used by the guardians of the codex flipstartes.
Dreadnaughts: the few suits of Dreadnaught armor are used to preserve those chapter masters who fall valiantly in battle ( loss of brain functions is minimal or unobservable).
Vehicles: the astartes retardes use primarily drop pods, rhinos/razor backs, bikes,and predators; the operation of which is decided by who can make the noise associated with the vehicle or weapons system the best, competitions are held yearly or when a position is opened up.
Techmarines: the Techmarines of the astartes retardes are a peculiar bunch, and are a rare through back during the creation process, while they also have the defective extra chromosome that their battle brothers have, their gene is deactivated leasing to compuction to create, dismantle and repair machinery obsessively (it has been noted on occasions during battle that they will dismantle fixed defenses and put them back together again due to a perceived deficiency, even while under enemy fire).

Thoughts?

>>47838465
So, Adeptus Retardes are like the opposite of Raptors chapter then?

>>47866297
>

For the apothecaries, I think it'd be better if they were the few retardes who DIDN'T go full retarded upon their induction, and thus are cursed/blessed to take care of their battle brothers.

For their psyker abilities, I think it's just a latent field that increases aggression and RAEG in their fellows (and especially themselves) whenever they see something wrong/bad; the most angry of raptards (usually those being the latent psykers) are promoted into the 1st company, thus causing a feedback look among squads when they go full raptor.

>Vehicles
Fuck, my sides; that's amazing.

Techmarines are just autistic and OCD as fuck, as opposed to being just "dull" like their brothers; they're excellent techmarines and fairly intelligent even for the admech, but lack any inspiration and extremely socially impaired even for the admech.

>>47866498
Yeah I like your apothecaries better, them being the only functional marines cursed to wrangle their potato brethren is brilliant.

And the feed back loop is great idea.

The Techmarines being brilliant I agree with, I was just giving them a bit of a downside, having them want to make sure everything is perfect,even if it was during the middle of combat...

>>47866832
For the techmarines, I'd think it'd be even funnier if they simply didn't communicate with their brothers at all, nor with each other.
They're just kind of "brought along" on missions, and they end up doing what needs to be done.

As for the apothecaries, it'd be pretty cool if they also acted in a supporting-command role; they're still subordinate to the chapter master (who is slightly less retarded), but often have to guide and "steer" their plans.

>Xenos! There are xenos on those worlds, we must remove them!
>"Of course, Chapter Master, but how shall we go about doing so?"
>By killing them, of course!
>"And which of them shall we kill first?"
>The most of them at once!
>"A good plan, Chapter Master, but the xenos have significant defenses around their more populated areas, we would take unacceptable losses upon entry; perhaps we could assault smaller locations and establish a beachhead?"
>Of course, thank you, caretaker

The Apothecaries don't actually command out of respect for tradition, as well as codex compliance. The retardes themselves, asides from the raptard company, operate remarkably like that of the ultras, except that they follow the codex unerringly and to a fault, and never improvise.

>inb4 that's how the ultras already act

>>47866982
>operate remarkably like that of the ultras, except that they follow the codex unerringly and to a fault, and never improvise.

>Implying Adeptus Retardes can remember the code

The ones that remember to read it tend to forget it soon after and default to: shoot xeno. shoot heretic. Eprah is cool.

they mostly fail to improvise because they are tards

Also, they do have recognized psykers, just not so formally trained.>>47842051

>Adeptus psykers are somehow some of the most powerful psykers in the Imperium. Their faith,rather than the burning fanticism of the Sisters, is an unyielding rock of tard-belief- This protects them against most small fries in the warp. Of course they cannot do much more than the basics of a psyker; but they are able to empower the basic abilities so much it doesnt even matter.

They are also very resistant to the eldrichness of the warp,>>47841280
>Impervious to the horros of the Warp becuase they dont have the brainpower to *fail* to comprehend the incomprehensible. They just default to shoot anything that doesnt look human.

>Tzennchian or warp trickery is out because they just dont get anything that is not service to the Emprah. Riches, power, status, pleasure, eternal life... it just doesnt register as they, all of them, dont really understand anything beyond shooting xenos and heretics.

>Chaos cannot touch the passive, idiotic rock-solid block of faith in the Emperor that is Adeptus Retardes.

I require a three paragraph max description of this chapter

>>47867276
Their codex is a simplified version which only contains that displayed via a flip book. They remember the entirety of the codex as it is only 10-15 pages long and all pictures with a few catch phrases.

Yeah I'll go with your few libbys idea.

>>47866982
This is gold interms of the apothecaries being an influence to stop the total annihilation of the chapter in months, and fits in well with the theme.

>>47855640
I can see it now:
>Ok, Sergeant Potatardus. Let me run by this again. By 0000, you are to assault this position.
>Uhhh....
>.... Kill Heretics over there when I say so
>Ok. BRUDAS!!! CHAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGEEE!!!!
>NOT YET POTATARDUS!

The charge of 100 screaming Astartes broke the morale of the Traitor Guardsmen that day, ruining the plans of one Raven Guard Captain to assassinate one Thousand Sons Sorcerer, and the plans of said Sorcerer to ambush Raven Guard.

This thread 10/10 many keks

>>47856946
>>47856993
>>47857000
They are literally the Penguins of Madagascar: The Chapter. They are hilariously incompetent, think they are extremely competent, and the combination of confidence and luck ends up making them actually sort of competent.

For example, they wanted slaves to power their engines like other Chapters have, but then realized that would mean they'd need slaves to whip them to make sure they work hard. But that would mean you'd need slaves to whip the whippers to make sure THEY work hard, and so on ad-infinitum.

In the end, they decide its more efficient to simply build a machine to move the engines, and then whip the machine.

>>47842824
>But I like puppets
wonderful

>>47838465
>>>47855640
>ruining the plans of one Raven Guard Captain to assassinate one Thousand Sons Sorcerer, and the plans of said Sorcerer to ambush Raven Guard.
Fucking kek.

>>47868305
>they decide its more efficient to simply build a machine to move the engines, and then whip the machine
My head hurts.

>>47868465
>Homeworld is Potadus Prime
>Half based on Irish culture, half on Russian
>Everyone is a drunk potato farmer
>Recruits are selected by administering a field sobriety test
>Anyone that can walk on a straight line and recite the ABCs despite their drunkenness is considered to be a worthy recruit that will be able to function once their cognitive abilities are compromised by the defective geneseed

>>47868600
And the Apothecaries are the one that don't drink.

>>47868619
They do drink, but it doesn't help.

>>47868667
>"Greeting, Brother-Captain of the Honorable Adeptus Retardes!"
>"Xeno?"
>"Excuse me, Brother-Captain?"
>"You a xeno?"
>"Ummm..."
>"Be nice, captain. Hello, Ultramarine. The captain asked if you are a xeno."
>"I'm a Captain of the Ultramarine chapter!"
>"That's nice, bud. What do you want?"
>"That is something I shall discuss with your captain."
>"Xenooooooooooooo"
>"The captain is out hunting xeno. Talk to me."
>"Won't he get hurt?"
>"He's used to it."
>"Oh. Alright. So, we detected a tyranid incursion in the Subsector Cyka-"
>"Ha shit not tyranid again."
>"Are you drinking lead?"
>"No."
>"It looks like lead."
>"It's a moonshine."
>"It does look like-"
>"XENOOOOOOOO! WE'RE GOING!"
>"By the Emperor's gouged out eye, what an awful breath."
>"Get used to it, smurf. They're all like that."

>>47868619
>implying
they drink the most, but because they are the planets drunkards the geneseed's drawbacks fail because of alcohol interference.
we are talking rip roaring drunk that puts the space furries to shame.

>>47868715
>all the apothecaries are inevitably sick of life and put their super-livers and implants through more abuse than even the wolves

>>47868762
>the adeptus retardes drink because they're too stupid to skip it
>apothecaries are actually aware of how retarded anyone is but stopped trying to fix things

>>47868758
Everyone on the entire planet are alcoholics. The apothecaries are the ones that were put through the early stages of the geneseed implantation while they were blacked out.

So basically Irish Space Marines.

>>47868758
>>47868792
No, the apothecaries are the ones with mild FAS, it makes them immune to the retarding effect of the geneseed because they were already retarded.

>>47868792
nah what i mean is the apothacaries are the ones who drink the hardest on the planet of drunk ass irishmen and russians, we are talking supernaturally drunk fuckers before the gene implantation of the geneseed and were supremely drunk during the whole mess, and afterwards their alcoholicism is just so bad, so damn bad.

>>47868792
>>47868815
>>47868866
No, see, the sheer amount of alcohol present in their system alters how the geneseed affects them granting them the necessary brainpower to be apothecaries while still making them retarded.

Perhaps like if Surgeon Simulator 2013 was an apothecary, but actually closing up their patients.

>>47868890
so in D&D instead of Int falling off the planet for them, its Wis instead? this makes them smart enough to tardwrangle but they are still crazy drunk ass fuckers.

>>47841280
>>47842051
>Their faith,rather than the burning fanticism of the Sisters, is an unyielding rock tard-belief- This protects them against most small fries in the warp
I love this idea so much

>>47842294
Ten out of fucking ten.
We need more of this. A lot more

>>47868946
Yes.

Perhaps something about the booze that the citizens of the planet make and what it is made of affects how the geneseed affects them where it is otherwise 'normal' geneseed, though might be too serious for this chapter.

>they're all drunk
I thought the point was that their geneseed just made them retarded, and that the apothecary's were those rare few neophytes who were immune to the mutation; they just drink out of their own voilition and despair for having to be caretakers.

>>47869020
That was my idea as well.

>>47842089
All basic marines are retards
Tech marines and apothecaries are highly functioning autists.
Like the dude who can draw the new York skyline from memory after a short helicopter ride, but can't function in the rest of his life.

>>47846935
A big squiggly yellow smiley face

>>47869379
i honestly liked the idea more of:
basic tardmarine
extremely autistic techmarine
drunken depressed tardwrangler apothecaries.

>>47869539
I thought it was a badly drawn aquila using hand prints?

>>47869549
Same.
Oh, and screeching raptor tards for 1st Company.

>>47869020
They're drunks before the geneseed, they're retards after.

Instead of the Space Yiff's wolfy wolf planet, they live on a potatoey potato planet. Can't have potato culture without public drunkenness.

>>47869549
Give the techmarines some OCD as well and I think it's perfect.

>>47841280
It's like Gav and Bob if they were Marines.

>>47869775
>>47869555
ok so revised list:
Basic Tard Marine
1 Company Raging Raptertards
Hilariously inept super powerful psykers randomly distributed
Extremely Autistic OCD TechMarines
Drunken Depressed Tardwrangler Apothecaries

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>>47869903
I think the techmarines should take the other route. Pic related.

>>47870022
Nah, it's better for techies to be this silent super savants who made a fusion lance turret because it makes better pewpewpew than the lascannon.

Surely their psykers are ridiculously powerful, but in a tard-rage type way.

They can't do anything controlled. But when they start getting stroppy, or mom hasn't made any chicken tendies, they lose control and unleash all kinds of fuckery unlike ever seen before.

Also, they don't yell in some kind of menacing powerful way when this happens, its more of a REEEEEEEE

Does a specially appointed Sister of Battle play the role of Mom? (Mooooooooom?)

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>>47870315
She'd have to have the patience of several saints for that job.

>>47870219
>Also, they don't yell in some kind of menacing powerful way when this happens, its more of a REEEEEEEE
So they specialize in psychic shriek?
>>47870315
>>47870322
Maybe an old female inquisitor who' been around forever due to juvinants and while she originally used the chapters easily manipulated nature for her own ends has now gone into a sort of semi-retirement as caretaker for the chapter. It would help explain how they've been protected from the usual internal bullshit of the imperium.

>>47870364
That idea is even better.
She just sort of sighs when the marines refer to her as mom but inside is smiling.

They blame their lack of testicles for not being able to get girls

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This thread is amazing, den/den.

>>47870322
That's cute. Got more Mom of Battles?

>>47870501
The reason why the Retardus refer her as 'Mum' because pronouncing 'Madam' was too hard.

>>47870364
>The inquisitor has gone somewhat senile with age
>Her good reputation with the Inquisition gives the Retardes free room to do Retardes stuff

The Retardes go absolutely fucking berserk if they see any harm befalling a child, and they also get along better than most Space Marines with children.

>>47870591
Same mental age. Same fascination for explosions.

>>47870591
Still, you can't leave them alone with them or they'll crush it with their enhanced strength.

It makes Retardes said when parents take their children away from them, but they forget about it quickly.

>>47870315
They are not literal retards as in "cannot use a toilet by himself", they are idiots as in : tiny atention span, minuscule short term memory, faith in the emprah that borders childishli stubborn to the point daemons cannot convince them to do shit because they will always default to "the emprah said".

Save for the raptar squads. They have the version of the black rage here. But can be treated by a few bother-apotecaries inyecting sedatives on them

Now, drunk of depression apotecaries being the only sane ones, thats gonna be canon.

>>47870659
So basically DSP?

>>47870364
Wicked idea.

In terms of the apothecaries I'm going to go with the drunk crowd, due to having to deal with the normal brothers.

I like the idea of a drunk population on the Homeworld, but the standard retardes shouldn't drunk as the emperor said it was bad (at some point to some drunk imperial army regiment maybe?). Due to the apothecaries lacking the mutation they ignore thus as alc is the only thing making life bearable, so for the emperor they drink, so that another tard is born, and therefore more dead xenos and heretics.

The legends of the chapter, inscribed by Mum (the only one who can read and write), make mention of the noble Sergeant Murinaeus Algernon, who, due to a bizarre warp accident, temporarily gained Omega class intellect and defeated a Chaos invasion by himself, before regressing into such a state that there was no more use for him accept for internment in a Tardnaught.

>>47871248
One of the Chapter's battle cries is "Flowers for Algernon!"

File: FLOWERS FOR THE RAT GOD.jpg (2.06 MB, 2700x1800)

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>>47871248
>>47871257
FLOWERS FOR THE RAT GOD
TEARS FOR THE TEAR THRONE

>>47871257
>joke
>my head

>>47872147
"Flowers for Algernon" is the name of a heartbreakingly excellent short story (later a mediocre book) about a mentally retarded person who receives an experimental treatment that turns him into a supergenius. Algernon is the name of a lab rat who has recieved the same treatment (becoming slightly more intelligent than the average human, although still a rat) whom Charlie, the retard, bonds with. He realizes that the treatment is only temporary when Algernon becomes catatonic then dies. With the effects reversed, Charlie becomes even more retarded than he was before and can no longer hope to function in society in any capacity. However, in his final moments of being able to do things like read and write, he tells his friends (in writing filled with misspells with childish grammar) not to forget to lay flowers on Algernon's grave.

>>47872216
That's sad. Both the novel, and the fact that the full book was mediocre.

>>47838465
1) Rationality varies wildly between chapters. Treating all marines as identical is futile. Compare the Raptors to Black Templars or something.

2) Intelligence =/= Rationality. Think of it as the combat difference between a high Strength stat and excellent martial arts skills and you won't go very wrong.

3) Honour is a type of decency, which is extremely important if you don't want to be as bad as Chaos or Eldar or whatever. If you're playing Imperial and you find *some* degree of honour in your faction off-putting, you're 40King wrong.

>>47873384
>putting Chaos on the same level than Eldars
Gee, I wonder what kind of mon-keigh is behind this post.

>>47873490
Didn't do that. You reveal yourself, Xenos scum.

>>47873690
>mon keigh thinks it's smarter enough to identify a xenos
You would be laughable if you weren't pathetic.


By Khorne.

>>47861682
Easy: this chapter dies A LOT. Like, they have a 99% casualty rate but are so godawful strong, tough, and furious in the heat of battle that they almost always destroy their enemies. They have no sense of 'avoiding danger' before a battle so there's almost always another chapter that collaborates with them.
>Commander Potatus Maximus
>"Potatus, move your forces behind this ridge. I will tell you when we see the enemy."
>*happily* "Okay, buddy!"
>trots off happily to tell his Lotta Tardus friends they're gonna go camping by Sunshine Ridge overlooking the Candy Valley.
>These are actual names on the map given to Potatus Maximus as he can't really comprehend anything else.
Basically, everyone uses the Tard faction and has learned how to work with them but they ALWAYS fuck something up.

>>47874371
They get shit done though. Dumb as a sack of hammers and tactically as sound as a mossy rock, but they get it done.

>>47868305
>whip the machine
Holy fucking kek
>The few non-tard guys in this chapter have to figure out this solution
>Create a machine that transfers kinetic energy into power.
>Convince Adeptus Retardes the new machines must be properly motivated
>Hands over special kinetic whips with force-amplifying connections
>Retardes spend all day whipping the fuck out of these machines, generating power with their insane raptard fury.

They'd become best friends with orks

>>47874610
>potatoes marines
>friends with xenos
HERESSSSSSSSSYYYYYYYYYYYYY

>>47874610
If they had a recurring Ork Warboss enemy who always enjoyed having a scrap against them, that would be great.

>>47874645
>>47874644
I think the Retardes should also be overly friendly until the actual battle. Like they're the only faction who will call up the Ork Warboss and ask him if he's ready to fight yet.
>Retardes are known for being polite to opponents but absolute horrors in battle.

>>47874645
Would "Mum" try to set it up like a "playdate" between the Retardes and the Orks?

>>47874736
No, wait.
What about "always polite until they find out you're a xenos"?
>"sir, a transmission! Main screen turned on!"
>"WAAAAAAGH!!!"
>"Hello there. How may we help?"
>"We wuz waaagh from archtyran, hoomens die now!"
>"Wait a minute... That green skin... OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKK!"
>"WAAAAAAAAAGH!!"
>"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORK!!"
>"WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
>"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOORK!!"
>apothecary walks in
>"I'm not drinking enough for this shit."
>takes a swing

>>47874794
>both Marine and Ork are obviously enjoying shouting at each other, even when they know they shouldn't be

>>47838465
>Possess inhumanly advanced intelligence
>Minds able to withstand horrors and abstract things that would drive normal men to insanity
>Can comprehend situations far more thoroughly than any human being
>Often behaves extremely irrationally
>Muh Honor

Autism

>>47874794
Kek
>Entire bridge/command center of raptards howling OOOOOOOORRRRRK!!!
>Raptards outside hear the call, rush to armor up and grab weapons howling OOOOOOOOOORRRRRRKKKK!!!
>Orks twenty miles away hear the echoing call of the Retardes secret base camp
>Orks rush to battle
>Furiously howling raptards come crashing through the trees in full armor, slaughter Orks as they've been raging without a target for a good hour or so.
>Retardes Howler units are born.

>>47874868
Dear god no.
That guy still gives me nightmares.

>>47874763
It's the only logical conclusion

>>47874763
>And you will play nice, or mommy will have to Vortex Torpedo again!

>>47838465
takes a retardes to know a retardes op

thought you'd know that being a colossal fucking retard

>>47842051
So, the officers would be like Rainman?
I love it.

>>47875404
No the Techmarines are Rainman or just pure silent superautists. They will tinker with the machines and tanks and if someone tries to pull them off they start screaming or emitting a dial-up internet noise and flail their mechadendrites around until they're let back to their precious machines.

>>47841742
>>47841802
Should be Don't-Shoot-Me Orange and gold, I guess.

>>47875589
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2TvN5lCVkRk

>>47853660

My sides have left this reality.

>>47869020
This.

>>47870219
The only way I could think of the Psykertards, is that they have a passive RAEG aura and the Adamantium will rule with a +2 instead of +1.

>>47870614
LENNNY!!!!!

>>47871257
Something to do with Of Mice and Men would also be acceptable.

>"IS DIS DA PLACE FOR DA DEAFWATCH MISSHUN?!?!"
>The Imperial Fist marine looks up at the Drednot
>"Yes, venerable dreadnought. Here, the captain will brief us on our mission to Charduin-V."
>"WHAT VEN-ABUL....WHAT IS SHARDUNVEE?!?! IT XENO TALK!!!!!!"
>The Drednot reaches out and grabs the yellow marine in his mechanical claw and pulls him up to his view port.
>"YOU DONT LOOK LIKE DA XENOS!!!! ARE YOU IN DA SKIES?!?!?"
>The poor Imperial Fist is struggling against impossible mechanical strength. Ceramite can be heard cracking.
>"No....I'm....an Imp....Imperial....Ffff-fist."
>"EMPERAL FISH!!!! NEVER HEARD UH DAT CHAPTAH. YOU'S UH XENO!!!!!!"
>"Drednot Neal, please put your fellow marine down. We need to go listen to the big captain and what he has to say. There might be cookies in the room as well."
>The Drednot looks down at the Sister of Battle and then, roughly, sets down the marine.
>"OKAY MUM!"
>As he runs in to the room as well as a 50 ton walking death machine can , he turns back and waves at the still woozy marine
>"BYE FISH!!!"

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Do Tardinators anything special going for them of are they just regular Tard Marines just with some more better armor and fancier weapons?

>>47876804
Tardinators have especially strong Tardinator Helms, for maximum close combat heatbutting and Tardinator charges.

>>47876826
Good for protecting against table corners and such as well.

>>47876826
which coincidentally look exactly like comically oversized football helmets

>>47876654
Fucking amazing. I cant see the Deathwatch taking in that many Retardes though, since teamwork isnt their strong suit.

>>47877335
I think it's funnier if it's kept relatively realistic, like just realistic enough to be almost believable, but subtly hilarious

>>47876654
>EMPERAL FISH
My sides will never be the same.

So who are the notable individuals in this group?
So far we seem to have:
Captain: Tuberculous Maximus who's 'brilliant' strategies have earned him victories against the Eldar
Algernon: Legendary figure who achieved brief brilliance and is now an especially dense dreadnought.
"Mom": An elderly female inquisitor who has sort of adopted the chapter and finds their antics endearing.

Any ohters?

>>47879737
see
>>47876654
Dreadnot Neal, one of the few Retardes to be in the Deathwatch.

>>47879737
Kristorius, nickamed "the walking STC" by outsiders and "Kris catpiss" by his battle-brothers was one of the first techmarines at the founding of the chapter. He was notorious for being able to reproduce everything he ever laid his eyes on, which is the reason why the fortress-monastery of the Retardes looks so much like the fortress of Maccrage.

>>47879737
Lennie: One of the few terminators in the chapter is especially large and strong even for a space marine. The trick is to convince him to actually fight the enemy.

>>47879737

theres Poteitus Autisma, a psyker who seemed to successfully fight off a demon possession by his sheer tardness, his story is farther up the thread.

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>>47876654
>Neal
I see what you did there

>>47879737
Caius Wallach Corinthus, who insists on being referred to by his initials.

>>47838681
>spec ops
>special operations
>blunt and head on tactics
>special
The fuck do you think "special" means, anon? Blunt and head-on is the shitshow that line infantry get into. Spec ops ain't none of that.

>>47874868
I like this as the look if their armor I must say

>>47880047
>>47880374
Seconding these two.

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They should all have really pale skin like master chief/raven guard.

Not because of their planet or a gene-seed mutation, though. It's because once their maglocked into their armor they can't figure out how to get it off.

>Holy Emperor their dreadnoughts must be terrifying.

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>>47879737
Brother-Sergeant Bennicus Akernon: A Vanguard Veteran armed with a plasma pistol and a storm shield. He doesn't actually know how to work the pistol; in combat he invariably accidentally overloads it and throws it at the nearest enemy before cowering behind his shield as it explodes.

>then he throws the shield.

Bennicus has slain many a foe in terminator armor thanks to his ap2 Gets Hot attack, and his widely respected by his tard battle borthers.

>>47884063
>Holy Emperor their dreadnoughts must be terrifying.
Mental decay in an already potato grade one.

They are used similarly to the Angry Marines Marine-Bomb.

>Put Venerable toaster on a truck,

>send to the enemy

>wait for the most annoying wake-up alarm to blas the Ancient marine.

>wait for a while in the trenches

>Struggle your way through the flesh-muck that used to be the enemies of the Emprah

>Retrive the again-asleep venarble toaster.

>>47841742
white and yellow, but they all wear orange safety vests

>>47884274
I imagine him going "pew pew!" as he holds down the trigger as hard as he can as the thing just heats up and gets brighter without firing.

Chapter Rule
Innocent duelist
Due to the ignorance before battle of potat morine, they are unable to move on the first turn.
However, their fury and devotion to the emprah is unrivaled, and after the second turn, gain +4 str It will not die, Feel no pain 6+(-1 for every latent psyker), and an extra attack. Thier movent speed is doubled.

Adeptus Retardes Psyker Rule

Ignorance is a blessing

Due to the Adeptus unassilable faith in the Emprah (which may or may not be due to the chapter's early indoctrination and low IQ) The mind of the Adeptus Retardes is a solid bastion capable of stopping cold all but worst the warp has to offer.

The Adeptus Retardes psyker is immune to Perils of the Warp, but in exchange he may not utlize psychic power ranked above 2.
Tard Stubborness

The Adeptus Reatrdes is well known for it's determination wether is vanishing daemonic incursions from their very mind (,Trying to fit an horizontal power-sword through a door,) or retaining theor faith in the face Heresy, double hersy and even extra heresy, this even extends to psychic migth.

Retardes models engaged in meelee may overwatch should the enemy be routed, or gain the counterattack special rule should the meelee continue.

Psychic power effects may extend for a second turn. However, for every Warpcharge spent, one charge will fail to generate that turn. To signify the battle brothe's will mantaining the current effect.

This is amazing!

If we are coming up with rules, I think one of them should be a reduction in price for standard tac marines squads, but if you do no tac marine squads maybe equipped with special wepons.

This is to represent their no.s vs special equipment levels.

They have tons of marines but they are all bolters potatoes

So do we just make all of the squads Brotherhood of Psykers ML2 under the assumption that there's a powerful psyker in there somewhere? Or do we take psyker characters as upgrades to our Marines the same way you can upgrade to an Apothecary in a Command Squad?

Also, do we get the Red Scorpions' "every Sergeant is an Apothecary" special rule or are we handling that differently?

>>47887901
Could go with old blood angels death company rules, each squad on a roll of 1 there is a latent psyker in the group choose one model; while he is alive the effects occur.

Otherwise you can buy librarians as Co. Choices.

Retardes Tactical Squad statline:
WS2 BS2 S5 T5 W1 A1 I3 L6 (sergeants are L9) 3+

>>47887955
I'd go WS 3

The sheer speed they attack at making up for lack of skill with the vet srg being WS 4.

>>47887901
Everything is BoP ML1 and only knows Psychic Scream, for 30 points you can make that ML2 with powers chosen normally. All psyker abilities are lost if the unit falls below 50% strength.

>>47887989
How about WS1 A3, then? With Smash.

>>47888014
Sure, you get to roll lots if reeeeeegh attacks but pretty much only one hit between every two marines.

>>47875618
Kek, underrated post

Please tell me this shit's on 1d4chan. Fucking Lovedagger's on 1d4chan.

>>47888411
I've taken a word copy going to clean it up and make it potatoez

What is the Chapter's battle cry? What is the single sentence that sums up their code and uplifts their spirits when times are darkest?

>>47888740
Mom might giv us a golden "paper" star if we do emperor good thing!

I think the psykers should be based on retard logic. Like they belive their retarded world view so hard that stuff in the imperial guard primer hand book start coming true! The idiot shit the commisars spew out become reality through tard psyker belief. So a bit like the ork warp power but following imperial propeganda logic and not ork logic, like lasgun flashlights will start one shotting greater demons with enough tard psyker power.

>>47889370
Yeah I agree, the power is based of sheer stupidity to reality; there psykers manifest the emperors will via sheer blind ignorance that it could be any other way.

Normal combat blades become force weapons by the belief that the daemons will suffer the big es wrath, protection from psykers as they believe that the emperor protects.

>>47889412
It would also work well with the autistic techmarines, as any non retarded logic would weaken the retard psyker powers thus the fact that they are too autistic to be able to ruin the wall of absolute ilogical retard logic the tard psykers/marines manifest while still being intelligent enough to do the ad-mec work is a great combination!, and the apoticares get so drunk they don't find the retard logic unbelivable, thus the retard logic gets so strong it makes the imperial guard primer genuinely realistic and helpfull in a bubble of idiot reality. Orks gets punched to death by unarmed guards men, tau can't shoot, and eldar gets out danced by ogryns.

>>47889498
Any intelligent person would weaken the retard psyker field so having the entire chapter made up by people who are either too retarded, autistic or drunk to doubt the retard logic is something that makes so much sense it could make for a really powerfull chapter!

>>47889498
>eldar gets out danced by ogryns.
That much be really damn stressful for the eldar up until the point of death.

>>47888740
FIVE THE EMPEROR!

Because 5 as we all know is 1 whole lot more extra faith in the Emperor than FOR

>>47890487
Goddammit why does that make so much sense

5 the emprah!

So, what happens when a Retardes psyker runs into a Blank?

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What if they met her ?

>>47890635
Headaches and crying.

For both of them.

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>>47890635

>>47890635
The retardes psyker would think of the blank as a psyker who are messing with the "real reality" that the commisars has has given to them, that flak armour does not stop bolter shots is clearly wrong as the commisars has said that it protects against all enemy attacts thus a bad psyker must be messing with the laws of reality as the emperors commisars has described it. Then they would proceed to purge the heretical "psyker" be the blank allied/neutral or hostile.

>>47838465
Of course you don't see Space Marines using stealth tactics. That's the point.

>>47881104
>Spec ops ain't none of that
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special_operations
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shock_troops

Do notice that being subtle is not a requirement of special operations. It's just what's usually used because real armies aren't space marines.

>>47880306
Neal the raptard was a great story

>>47890797
so they would kill the shit out of blanks or would they simply assume some dickheads being a jackass to a psyker? i really can't tell in your post.

NO STOP THAT NO THAT'S NO STOP NO THAT'S BAD THE EMPEROR SAID SO NO

- Battle cry

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Can you even begin to imagine how Big E would take the fact that some of his most loyal, devoted and dutiful sons are literally mentally slow?

And that their psykers are some of the most stable in the entire Imperium for that reason?

How do you deal with that?

>>47894340
Sorry, I think they would assume first that the blank is a psyker, due to the fact that the tard psyker is always surrounding himself in a tard reality psyker field that makes his tard version of reality true, And the tard psykers is always assuming that their tard version of reality that they make real inside their psyker bubble is the actual reality as they are always tards thus the field is always on, and if a blank comes near and damages their psyker bubble and thus removes the psyker powered tard reality that the tard psyker surround himself with, then the tard psyker will think a vile psyker is changing the laws of reality around him thus the blank is a bad psyker person to be killed.

>>47895743
You know, i think the field should not be a permanent thing, that's an ork thing but if you get enough literates --how bout that for the chapter official psykers? not "Librarians" *just* literate-- anyway, get enough tards and remind them how does the guardsman primer goes, then point out how the xeno/heretic isnt doing as the Emprah says.

Cue they having a collective psychic reality-warping tard-fit (like the raptards but less punch and more magic),and turning lasguns into threats, Tau-tech into glitchy hunks of junt and maybe even orks into midgets.For a whileat least...

>>47895579
Scouring the Imperium for somehting something that could get me drunk, then having binge with the chapter's apotecaries.

>>47895966
That's a great idea!

>>47891401
I'm unfamiliar with this care to share?

>>47896529
http://imgur.com/gallery/YdR3S

>>47852835
Except they don't. They show up when there's a problem throwing guardsmen at won't solve.

>>47897260
Yeah, but given the competence of the average guardsman, this may well include pickle jars that refuse to open and unplugged cogitators that won't start.

>>47897323
>>47897260
special operations can be done independently or in conjunction with other forces

All that really defines "special" operations is that they use unconventional resources/tactics. The Last Chancers would be considered spec-ops, for example. So would storm troopers, space marines (and all associated variants), assassins, inquisitorial taskforces... even navy ratings could be considered spec-ops when they get committed.

>>47897323
>implying
it seriously depends on the guardsmen and where the fuck it came from.
for example idiots from krieg and cadia are rather competent, even if slightly socially retarded.

I'm really thinking that they shouldn't be using the imperial primer, while a valid source of info for the odd marine, most of them wouldn't be reading books.

Maybe thats all the Adeptus Retardes Librarians are, the wierd potatoes that hoard random books with Aquilas on them. Some of them are actually psykers, others aren't but maybe one of their battle brothers is and him pretending to be a psyker (miming the actions of other chapters librarians that they meet or sanctioned psykers) leads to the same results anyway.

That way it's similar to the ork field but isn't, a gestalt thing but still relies on a potato reaching into the warp and drawing forth power via belief / naivety on how things really work.

Since all humans register on the spectrum, the presence of more brothers around a bookman leads to greater effects as his belief plus the belief of his potato friends combine.

I just want you brilliant sons of bitches to know that you have made my day. Thank you /tg for one of the funniest things I've read in the last year!

>>47888740
XENO GO HOME! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

HERETIC GO HOME! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

ORK GO HOME! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

any variation of NORMIE GO HOME! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

>>47899862
no.

>>47900082
o-ok

T.T

>>47899638
They dont. their codex is a very abridged version that is mostly pictures.

And the primer is more like...used for the pictures. They dont read it, the comissar/chaplain just manipulates them into both drawing from the warp and focussing on the book.

The resulting tard rage at the xenos for not being as the emprah said generates a temporary field similar to the ork waaaagh

>>47902894
Yeah see I don't think the ig should really be involved, commissars either, these guys don't listen to any one, well the docs but most of the time they do as they see fit.

They have become savants of war, programmed potatoes whose entire mentality has been reduced to the excerpts of the codex and the litanies of war that they mangle.

>>47869020
I still imagine if a retardes has to visit an apothecary as how a child who is afraid of the doctor would handle it. Squirming about, panicking when they see the needle and calming down once the examination/visit is over and they get a lolipop.

>>47903276
I just sah this as they while potatoes they are potatoes with power being sm they don't answer to anyone, so you can't convince them otherwise, they aren't running around making friends they are running around fighting and dying in droves like kriegers; shit them and kriegers probably work well together.

AR turn up point themselves at the enemies HQs and launch full attack either coming out victorious or dead ( the ships capt probably at this point turns the ship around and heads to pick up new potatoes for delivery to the war front - by the time he arrives the new Co will have been raised and put through hypno-training)

>>47903413
i really really like this idea that the krieg and the tardmarines are basically best buddies, i could see it now.

>>47903413
The capt of the battle barges acting as high risk long haulers until they fill up with corpses and equiptment and return back to the planet the few marines that survive becoming the new chapter command structure. As is the will of the emperor.

>>47903501
They are now I come to think about it quite similar. Retardes and Krieg I could easily see being good work-along-sides.

>>47905183
Yeah that kriegers medic cap kind of kind of is similar experience for them and first founding chapters who have "personalities"

>>47903276
Well, someone rounds up psykers and rilesthem up with the words of the emprah.

Really it just hasto be someone from the outside, to be smart enough to realize

>they distinguish between different companies inside the chapter by symbols painted on their pauldrons and other parts of equipment.
>they don't do it themselves as they're unable to count how many of the tardmrines should be in company, left alone what company actually is
>since the beginning of the chapter however, every piece of equipment forged for them is put into a "magical boxes" where they stay for a day before tards are able to retrieve it with freshly painted symbols
>at night symbols appear always on all sorts of vehicle in the hangar
>They seemingly appear because that's the Emperors will.


It's the apothecariesneaking at night/during hours of naptime who paint symbols on their equipment, swearing silently not to wake any other tards. At first they used classical Roman numerals, but since those were too hard to distinguish for tards, now they use clouds, flowers & such.

>>47906879
Imagine being a random non-main faction xeno and seeing 8ft of retarded fury with a cute flower on his armour.

>>47840997

>impervious to most attacks in the fluff

Well, except the fluff where they get killed by wooden spears.

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>>47842294

>comuncation
>elocuence
>rigth
>mening
>alreay
>scrable

Nigga, do you not have spellcheck?

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>>47852800

>Flimsy pieces of shit
>can destroy two sector fleets

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>>47862908

I like how the more Retardes get fleshed out, the more they are just becoming Blood Angels.

>>47908370
more like a cross between blood angels and world eaters

>>47908536
rather blood tard angels and ogryn.

>>47908693
I say world eaters as their RAEG is the source of their power, and they are some what benevolent outside their rage, hence blood angels

I think an important part of maintaining the psyker tard reality field is to only have either too drunk, to autistic or too retarded people near the psyker tard reality field, as any doubt in tard reality would weaken it, so close imperial guard support would be restricted to extremely drunk commisars, drunk/lobotomised/retarded guardsmen, general ogryn and extremely autistic tech priests, as any intellect or ability to recognise flawed reality would weaken the psyker tard field.

Massive support from rattling snipers shooting from a distance that is so far away that they are outside the tard psyker field would also make sense.

>>47909047
The rattling snipers would probably have to be dressed up as cute mascots (small teletubbies?) so the tardes marines won't shoot them on sight due to them looking a bit non human.

The Imperial Guard is the Hammer of the Emperor, and the Adeptus Astartes are like that of a scalpel, operating with extreme cunning and finessé.

Then you have the Adeptus Retardes, like that of a dozen drunken hillbillies filling the rotting gut of a brahmin with dynamite, who then launch the cow with a misshapen trebuchet at whatever thing they want to explode in gorey fashion.
>IMP-EAR-UM! IMP-EAR-UM! IMP-EAR-UM!!!

>>47909279
the AR are the Broken Beer Bottle of the Emperor