REPOSTING FROM LAST THREAD

Updated Raj's backstory with part 2. Lemme know what you guys think.

>>53269573 #
>>53269602 #
>>53269700 #
I gotta go now, unfortunately. I'll respond to your changes asap

First for SHAMEFUR DISPRAY

Just to remind any newcomers what we've got set up so far.

>20 Named Legions
> Tentative yes to a Separatist Forgeworld
>6 Loyalist Legions
>5 Traitor Legions
>5 Separatist Legions
>3 Undecided
>And 1 Legion still to be added

>>53271603
>A vet with a dozen other factions in the mag

>>53271603
I don't think that's right, you missed something.

>>53271645
Hm? What?

>>53271527
We really have to figure out the three war masters this thread. Probably the arch traitor and the actual reasons for falling too.

>>53271658
20 named legions.
6 loyalists + 5 traitors + 5 seperatists + 3 undecided = 19 legions.

>>53271722
Are you guys including me?

>>53271722
I see the problem! Leviathan Host didn't write if they were Traitor or Separatist. Reading through they appear Traitor so
>6 Loyal Legions
>6 Traitor Legions
>5 Separatist
>3 Undecided
>1 To be made

>>53271834
Maybe? Check if you're in the doc.

I think we also need to figure out which one legion we might scrap in order to allow for a Tzeentch legion, but I'm not sure about that.

>>53271838
Reposting their summary just in case other people haven't read it as well.

http://sys.4chan.org/derefer?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdocs.google.com%2Fdocument%2Fd%2F1fw8Bnyof8qEEwdt7qJJR8m_wS-4cp9lM_BUQm2gMXKw%2Fedit%3Fusp%3Dsharing

Later history is deliberately vague so it can be filled in as the story is developed.

Writing up a summary for the SpeMech Faction itself rather than just individual forgeworlds at the moment.

Have a overview of the legion and primarch starting to flesh out the history
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WiwPcW1oYhlmpuxUZ0YH6LAdQqAmIhphKLjOfsxPHks/edit?usp=sharing

>>53272024
Aight, shaping up to be decent. Looking forward to the Primarch's arrival. You might want to spell check though.

I'm also not entirely convinced by the scheme, though it might fit better once we have a more complete picture of the legion.

>>53271855
>Maybe? Check if you're in the doc.
Not yet

>>53272444
Ah. You should be able to edit the sheet. Feel free to add yourself as legion XXI, I guess.

>>53271527
Looking at the current legions, I see the following three at the moment as warmasters:

Ja'she of the Sentinels.

Ashur of the Loxodontii

And Vardon L'Ancien of the Soverign Legion

>>53272505
Done

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Hi guys, post your description files in the summary roster, so is easier for everyone to learn about the other Legions and Primarchs.

>>53272896
I see them.

>>53271527
>OP pic
>Pic related

>>53273435
Will do...

This weekend.

Because Army.

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Okay, I don't totally hate what I've written right now. But it's hard to tell if it feels Sue-ish or appropriately Primarch-ish. Posting before I fall back into self-loathing.
>https://docs.google.com/document/d/14muymzpOrjNl8Y-n_6CQnDCq2Nu3Qsc9ZVuJffx79Fk/edit?usp=sharing
Your call, could use some pros and cons, doc accepts comments too.

Still reading through backlog. Should note that I'm working on the Legion itself in a separate doc, this one is just Primarch stuff.

>>53273522
I'll take a look, if it looks Sue-Ish I'll let you know

>>53273522
>>53273563
Same

>>53273522
Looks good so far! It's well within an acceptable perameter. After all, he is a Primarch, he is supposed to be SLIGHTLY overpowered.

I'm updating my description file, too.

Link:
>https://docs.google.com/document/d/1t608XhyARQm0jg8zpEtVs-yJpU8EmPDbLEk-giB46dA/edit?usp=sharing

OK guys this is my updated document for the Shadow Stalkers. I have changed them a bit to make them seem more likely to fall to chaos, specifically Slaanesh.

>https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UUIbGgROdNQQC15RQ6kqJnUquSvuxPtkepqvyKDn0yY/edit?usp=sharing

I have also written a potential way for Isekho to be corrupted by Slaanesh. Its just a idea, let me know what you think anyway.

Working on some Patterns for the SepMech to Produce.

>>53274153
can see him becoming the first to fall to chaos

Idea for this au nikaea vote. what if the emperor allows psykers which become a cause of some legions to become separatist

>>53274526
Could be an interesting idea

>>53274526
Sounds interesting, could explain the lack of any particularly psyker-based Separatist Legion.

>>53274742
nikaea could be the first crack in the imperium which leads to the separatists faction. The primarch could start to resent the emperor and his decisions

>>53274526
That's not a bad idea. Especially since according to the group document, pretty much all of the Primarchs are indicated as "pro-psyker".

Out of 20/21 Legions, only 3 are actually anti-psyker at this time.

Which could be useful, or we could encourage a few more anti-psykers, especially since there's a few new Primarchs coming in. Mold the clay while it's less solid, so to speak.

>>53274870
That could then give the Chaos faction the confidence to reveal their true allegiance?

>>53273435
Will do asap. But sleep comes first

>>53274526
We would also need to very carefully consider the implications regarding the Emperor as well.

If he's making this decision, it means his viewpoint on psykers/the Warp/Chaos is likely to be rather different than in canon.

I can't remember though, did Canon Emps ever tell all the Primarchs "Yes I am a Psyker, this is what that is, this is what that means"? I know he didn't tell them about Chaos, but did he ever explain the Warp-based nature of his power?

>>53274886
would lead to brother resenting brother and give more reasion to rebel and I think we do need some more anti psykers.

>>53274890
could allow the chaos legions to grow in strength in secret for longer if the real problem is seen to be the seps

>>53273435
Description's been added for the Pale Hounds. It's pretty basic at the moment, but more will come

>>53274886
So perhaps the Sepratists in this AU are the ones that form something along the lines of the Grey Knights? A dedicated Anti-Psyker/Chaos Chapter/Taskforce?

>>53275368
Then I imagine they'd be very well equipped by the SepMech? That's a fun abbreviation btw.

I see what you do, but this last thing of the Grey Knights...Well, maybe. But...no, I think they have better things to do

>>53275510
agreed dont want grey knights v2 here

>The Orsus-Pattern Lasgun:

Developed during the Great Crusade and only beginning mass production in M32, the Orsus-Pattern Lasgun was designed for the Local Systems to deal with the Ork incursions on their worlds. This Pattern of Lasgun is designed for power over sheer volume, capable of dispatching an ork in a shot or two if the marksman is well trained. The drawback, which was inserted by design by the fabricators is the inability to rapid fire; forcing a guardsman to make each of the 15 shot magazine-count.

>>53271575
Ok, I read Ashur's backstory, specifically the part of him getting collared, and I have to say: Good fucking job man! It was like reading a page straight out of one of the (good) Horus Heresy books. Keep it up man! I can only hope to write something like that, be it for Raj or any one piece.

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So I've been absent for the past few days, been working on a doc for the VI Legion
>https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Ean3hIg8lS1r-FsT3HKDapt2m9S-qSksT6GtO2Sjl9Q
will keep working, tell me what you guys think

>>53272896
I'm honoured to have my primarch proposed as warmaster although I see a few difficulties, among which him becoming removed from power around the legion turning traitor is the most significant.
In a sense, he could be Warmaster of that expeditions tendril that later turns traitor up until they do turn traitor, at which point he is removed from command and the legion shatters. We would need a new warmaster to actually guide the traitor faction after the official betrayal.

>>53276066
Your praise humbles me, but also gently rubs my ego.

How many ships would a Legion have? Ballpark estimate.

>>53276188
Might want to quickly take a peek at the last thread, the first of the SepMech worlds is more or less vassal ally to the Death's Heads

>>53276286
Probably a couple thousand.

>>53276286
Few hundred battleships, several thousand cruisers, thousands of transports, hundreds of escort and Scout vessels.

>>53276400
>>53276479
No, it's nowhere near that many.

>>53276286
Most Legions have about 100,000 Marines or so.

There are always Imperial Army detatchments that travel with the Marines, but the Marines themselves would have maybe 20 Battleships, 20 Battle Barges, probably 100 Cruisers and maybe 500 Frigates/Destroyers/Scouts under their *direct* control.

Imperial ships are very very big. And most Chapters, as we know, are lucky to have more than one or two Battle Barges for 1000 Marines. Multiply that force level by 100, plus some for being 30k, and even the numbers I just gave might still be too extreme.

>>53276553
>No, it's nowhere near that many.
Could be.

>>53276553
Well the question is are we counting the Legions in addition to their human Auxiliaries or the Explorer Fleets?

>>53276566
Hundreds of fully-equipped battleships (especially crewed/commanded partly by Marines) is enough to knock out half the Galaxy, lol.

There's no way *each* Legion fleet comes close to that amount. Maybe all of them together.

>>53276479
>>53276553
...huh, maybe I'll just have a couple notable named ones then. I figured I could maybe name my battleships, but not any more.
Guess I'll give each Chapter a named ship, compromise.

>>53276618
Well, they did knock out the entire Galaxy.

Guys, the Imperium had hundreds of fleets during the Imperium. Just look up the list of Expeditionary Fleets or something.

>>53276688
*Great Crusade

>>53276688
http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Expedition_Fleet
Literally thousands, but no word on how big they are.

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Sovereign Legion got a link for pre-Heresy information (which I am calling the Secession because that's how they probably view it).

I won't add information about the Legion post-Secession until I know more about what life's like for the Separatists.

>>53276688
>>53276760
All I'm really saying is, watch the Infinity+1 powerlevel-wank of "LOOKIT HOW MANY SHIPS I GOT MOTHERFUCKERS!!!"

Having thousands of battleships or whatever at one's disposal kinda trivializes most opponents during the Heresy-era, until you actually have the Heresy itself.

>>53276947
They were split apart into chapters, then companies as well don't forget.
And this was during the Imperial Army, there was no fully separate Navy.

Though yes, I'd wager low tens of battleships, not hundreds. The Emperor probably a ton of ships under his direct command at any rate.

>>53276947
>Having thousands of battleships or whatever at one's disposal kinda trivializes most opponents during the Heresy-era
They were pretty trivial though.

Okay, so let's look at it like this.

There were 4000 expedition fleets. We don't know the exact size, but we do know the 8th expedition fleet had 29000 Iron Warriors at least. Let's round this up to 30000.

Assuming similar ratios as modern chapters for simplicity's sake, so 2 battle barges a chapter, this fleet would have 60 battle barges. If we were to assume one battle barge per 300 space Marines because this is Heresy era, there would be 100.

This is presumably the high end.

>>53277942
>If we were to assume one battle barge per 300 space Marines
Assuming that fluff is accurate with its 300-marine capacity listed, which I doubt it is. A 5 mile ship can easily hold twice that number even accounting for Armament.

>>53278085
>twice
Or thrice. Or five times.

>>53278085
>>53277942
>>53278215

I think given the greater level of 30k technology, comfortably supporting 500 Marines + their stuff is reasonable per Battle Barge/Battleship equivalent.

So, a 100,000 Marine "averageish" Legion might expect to have 200 large capital ships all told. Given that few naval fleets are composed exclusively of massive vessels, I would further posit that each Strike Cruiser hold half that many (250 Marines + gear), and each Frigate/Marine equivalent would hold 100 soldiers.

If we then estimate 50 capital ships (10,000 Marines), 150 Strike Cruisers (37,500 Marines), and roughly 525 smaller escort vessels (52,500 Marines), you get an average Marine expeditionary force of perhaps 1 Capital Ship (500), 3 Cruiser-equivalents (750), and 10 Frigate-equivalents (1000), carrying a total of 2,250 Marines in 13 ships.

There's also 25 smaller escorts left over to be flexible reserves as needed.

I think 2250 Marines and 13 Imperial ships sounds pretty good for an average Imperial conquest force in this era. They can be combined as needed, and if not, an average Legion can be assaulting up to 50 different worlds more or less simultaneously without feeling unduly stretched thin.

This also lets us avoid assuming that implausible numbers of gigantic ships magically spring out of nowhere, in an era where Imperial shipyards are fewer and farther between, not having been built yet while the Imperium is still expanding. Lesser vessels are much easier to lay down keels for and supply.


Thoughts, everyone?

>>53279622
>I think given the greater level of 30k technology, comfortably supporting 500 Marines + their stuff is reasonable per Battle Barge/Battleship equivalent.
Technology has nothing to do with it. A 5 mile ship should hold thousands of soldiers.

>>53279622
Other than that, sounds good. This is not including IA vessels however, which would double the number.

>>53279727
Well yeah, of course you could physically stuff them in there.

But you also have to take into account the food, the ammo, the replacement parts, all the supply chain stuff, the bulkier Land Raiders/Attack Bikes/Thunderhawks/Land Speeders/Dreadnoughts/etc...

There's a whole bunch of things that go along with even a few hundred Marines, and that's all competing for limited space with the actual crew of the battleship itself and all the things that keep them and the ship afloat and fighting.

Presumably in the Heresy Era, doing all that is more efficient than it is with the damaged goods of 40k.

>>53279622
Without much else to go on, I gave the Pillars 10 battleships, 96 cruisers and 650 destroyer/frigates.
Those sounds like rookie numbers now.

But 50/150/500 sounds like a reasonable spread of battleship/cruiser/escort to me.

>>53279761
Even with all that in account, a battle barge should still be able to carry an entire chapter. A wasp-class Amphibious Assault Ship carries 1800 soldiers; a ship over twenty times longer can undoubtedly carry as many and then some.

>>53279839
Nothing wrong with having a skew towards the small end, of course. Battleships are good because it's hard to kill them dead, they can often be repaired. They also get all the cool toys. In bulk.

But small ships are also quite nice because they're individually less of a weakness, should they be knocked out. Easier to build in small shipyards, easier to get parts for. Much quicker to build, all that jazz. They're not as flashy, but they are efficient. Much faster moving as well, should flanking and envelopment strategies be to your liking in space.

>>53271527
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lXzgPnp0B3RlEwNLceNUNyNGMamVQS6pkwBVvFE3h5c/edit?usp=sharing

I worked a fair bit on CoH backstory, but have left everything from the Edict of Nikeea and onwards blank as I might change how they fall depending on what we decide. I have added a bit about Linares too Silverish guy if you want me to add anything?

If we do decide to go with the anti-psyker Nikea being the Separatists then the Pillars would be Loyalist, we've got too many eggs in the psyker basket.

>>53279885
I've already got them down as being heavy into void combat, so while I think I'll have above average escort craft I won't want one fifth of the battleships.
Might go 40/140/650 to reflect our character.

What Primarchs do we currently have at or respresented at the Council of Nikea? Also what would have brought it about in our universe, seeing as (at least to me) there aren't any Legions totally involved in the use of psykers like the KSons were

>>53280622
The Disciples are also supposedly psyker-heavy, though I'm not sure how active their creator is.

I'm having the Pillars be pretty involved in their psyker usage too.
But admittedly, explosives are available to people without magic brain powers so we use those even more. Gotta love grenades.
Can't think of any reason we'd not be present at Nikea either.

>>53280622
Well, the Steel Souls will certainly be represented, and it's entirely possible their Primarch will personally attend. Psykers are an integral part of that Legion from top to bottom.

>tfw looking back over my Hektor Heresy shit and I find Anorexia and Septicus
Good God, I should write more for Nurgle.

>>53271527
Side note for anyone who knows the answers to this question:

What happened to psychically gifted recruits or Marines whose powers awakened after becoming Marines during the Crusade, *before* their Primarch was found?

If they did (and weren't somehow removed from service for whatever reason), who would have taught them to control their abilities? The Emperor? Malcador? Someone else entirely?

>>53280982
CoH also. Lambach actively looks for anf recruits psykers. Which I haven't gotten to adding to the document yet. But squad leaders and many of his Dreadnaughts are librarians.

>>53281125
Also, I'd really like to get Emil's time of rediscovery nailed down, so I can keep writing fluff for the Legion before his arrival.

It's hard to do that properly without knowing if they waited 1, 5, 50 or 500 years for their Primarch to show up, you know?

>>53280889
>>53280982
>>53281143
I think Einchurt would likely have been there, or at least represented. He doesn't actively hate psykers like Mortarion, but sees them more of simply as unreliable, not worth the effort to "unlock" their powers.
VI Legion Astartes that manifest psychic gifts are usually just used as suicide weapons, burning themselves out while causing maximum destruction.

So as it turns out you can't put two hyperlinks in a single google sheets cell.
Kind of annoying since I've separated my Primarch and Legion into two separate docs. Awkwardly linked the two together via hyperlinks in the docs themselves until I think of something better.

Also captcha is taking the piss.

So who's going to pull the Sanguinius-martyr short straw?

>>53281168
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wlaKVtg-3SfJF6118s5SF8eo0zpg1twRmpydWnn1iI0/edit?usp=sharing

Well, I've updated the Steel Souls quite a bit. For some reason I've been rather an ass to them during their pre-Primarch phase, lol.

>>53281670
I will volunteer.

>>53282013
>Separatist Legion's Primarch died for the Emperor
I'm sure there's some way to spin this.

>>53282195
>[ALPHA LEGION INTENSIFIES]

>>53282195
>He doesn't know what volunteering means in the army

>on google docs
>click insert
>"Special Characters..."
>omega symbol Ω
Guess we know what Google thinks of the Ultramarines

So, Already working to give some neat toys to the Death's Heads.

Anyone else want some Neato Separatist TekHeresy?!

>>53282671
Centaurs. :^)

>>53282736
As in...LITERAL CENTAURS or...?

>>53282776
Space Marines centaur per armor. Somebody suggested it in HkH.

>>53282817
>HkH.
So...4 legged power armor...I can...I'll see what I can make.

>>53282831
That was just a joke, nothing came of it for good reason.

>>53282886
I mean, when I hear Centaur I think All Terrain Vehicle for Space Marines.

Maybe something like quadrupedal dreadnoughts? I feel it'd make more sense for it to be built around a coffin than a marine.

>>53282904
I'll write up something real quick.

>>53282904
>Centaur-Pattern Heavy Dreadnaught:

An initial Short-Production Pattern, the Centaur-Pattern Dreadnought was an investigation into increasing the survivability and fire output of a marine consigned to life within the confines of a dreadnaught shell. Built on an expanded Contemptor-Pattern chasis, the Torso was extended further back to mount both a stronger reactor as well as a pair of Senty-Pattern Automatic Shields. To better handle the weight of these additions, the Centaur Dreadnaught is equipped with a secondary pair of legs at the end of the Chassis. With this configuration the testing teams discovered a host of both benefits and drawbacks.

First among them was the time it took an Astartes to become adjusted to the second pair of legs beyond those of a traditional humanoid. Secondly the drive trains on the rear legs were difficult to maintain and if they failed in battle the unit would be rendered immobile. The Last of the Draws was the major couplings in the shield banks were quick to overheat and an overreliance on their use could cause one or both shields to fail until the dreadnaught cooled off.

Even with these drawbacks, there was no ignoring the benefits that the Centaur-Pattern provided; Among those being the creative use of the shields by interned Assault Marine pilots. By having both shields angled forward, the Dreadnaught could make use of its greater speed to plough through heavily defended positions, with ork gunfire spalling off the two shields like rain before sweeping aside swathes of greenskins beneath the blades of a massive Poweraxe. In addition more reserved Marines could make use of the incredible load-bearing potential to mount either batteries of heavy weapons or carry a squad of Marines into combat.

All in all? I kinda like it.

>>53283198
I'm a little unsure, but also a little intruiged.

>>53279911
Looks great, nothing wrong with it. Maybe a little bit more focus on the Silver Blades martial skill rather than social ones, but as you wish.

>>53283920
Yeah I was gonna add a bit with some of the more famous victories the 2 primarchs had accomplished but thought I'd check in with you first before adding more meat to it.

>>53283965
Roger. I'm about to do a driving exam right now, so if you want we can do it later.

>>53283198
>TFW your lore revolves around a mutiny in your legion, enslaving your own primarch then turning him into an elephant-centaur daemon prince, but nobody reads your lore, then comes up with a similar idea and will probably call you an unimaginative copycat

Thanks, Triumvirate Warmasters writefags

>>53273522
Pretty good backstory, I don't get Sue-ish impressions. The awakened Psyker bit is neat and I like the Monastery. Are you looking to make the Righteous Way W3's Lectitio Divinitatus?

>>53276188
That backstory is nice and grim, perfect for Einchurt. I guess we'll fill in which legion discovered him after we determine the discovery order. Pretty good overall, though it doesn't give much character to Einchurt before he's discovered by the Imperium.

>>53273776
Not bad at all. You might want to through your piece again and spell check here and there. Maybe read some of the Primarch's wiki pages, or even the piece Elephantfag wrote for the Loxodontii, just get a feel for that descriptive 40k writing style. Other than that, pretty basic 'conquerer feudal world' backstory. Nothing special, but nothing terrible either.

>>53276214
Having Ashur be Warmaster, but then replacing him once his legion goes rogue is a bit weird and doesn't gel well with me. The Loxodontii could be the Word Bearers analogue, but I don't buy Ashur as Warmaster. He really doesn't seem the type. Plus, we'd still need to appoint another Warmaster after he gets collared.

>>53274153
So are they the Shadow Stalkers or the Smoke Stalkers? I'm partial to Smoke Stalkers myself. Like the Silverish Guy, a quick round of spell checking and rephrasing might be in order. The world of Mist is very interesting, though I get the feeling you haven't done as much with it as you could. You introduce a fascinating planet, and then you go for the rather basic 'unite the planet's tribes diplomatically' story. What stalks the dank wastes of Mist? I'm expecting the world to be properly terrifying. The story of with the Sirens is much more interesting. It reminds me of when Fulgrim found the sword that corrupted him into doing Slaanesh's bidding. Was that intentional?


>>53275283
Cool. Try to expand on it in the near future, the Pale Hounds have potential.

SepMech, could you develop some pattern of Dreadnought similar to the Castraferrum, cheap and modular, in small—scale production run for my Legion? We rely heavily in them, but I think that the Comtemptor is too expensive to cover our needs.

>MFW loyalists asking for help to the SepMech
>Dude, pre—secession
>Also in the same segmentum (I think)

>>53274526
Maybe. Guess that's something we'll have to discuss in relation to something I'm gonna suggest we talk about later.

>>53274929
I don't think it's a secret that the Warp is the origin of Psychic powers. The Primarchs new that, certainly.

>>53281977
I like it, pre-Primarch legions are things that don't get explored often enough, glad to see you thinking about it. You've inspired me to start thinking about the Titan Marchers pre-Raj.

>>53281670
I was planning on having Raj die during the Siege of Terra, protecting the Imperial Palace and the Eternity Gate. So maybe he could fill that role? He's not nearly as pretty as Sanguinius though.

>>53279911
Nicely written backstory. I'm liking the idea of the world still having temples, but not religion per se, and Lambach's arrival relighting religions sentiments. Pretty unique. Also, nice to see Primarch friendships coming into the picture some more.

>>53282817
>>53282831
I'm actually not opposed to the idea of centaur-like abominations made by the the DarkMech, but it doesn't seem like something the SepMech would do.

Centaur-marine hybrids might be cool for the Chosen of Hecate? They have Greek influences, after all.

>>53283198
This is pretty well written though, so what do I know?

>>53284995
I'm sure that won't be a problem. Ashur's fate is awesomely cool.

Ok, so, things I'd like to discuss and get done in this thread or the next, hopefully:
>Make sure the 21 legions are all tied to a faction, preferably in a neat 7-7-7 split.
>Lock down every legion's opinion on Nikaea. Maybe relate it to the factions?
>After the factions are locked into place, finally appoint the 3 Warmasters.
>Evaluate the legions we do have. This might mean having to make the difficult choice to scrap one or two if they're not particularly unique or interesting, or they're not likely to have someone writing for them.
>Appoint a Tzeentch legion.
>Agree on a Primarch discovery order.
>Expand on the relationships between the Primarchs.

>>53285031
Ok, I'm from Spain and sometimes I make terrible grammatical mistakes. Will check the doc. Thanks!

And being Kadir a feudal world, I don't think that philosophy would work towards getting to power. Not Linares' style, either.
Although it may see some improvements.

>>53285031
I wasn't planning on writing the not!Divinitatus, the philosophy was going to be a Legion thing mostly.
Plus I think the Disciples and their noise marines were going to write it. Not sure where that poster went though, so I may end up being involved in the Divinitatus' creation. Just have to see.

Probably going to need some pre-heresy stuff and primarch/legion interactions next myself.
It'd be nice to nail down what really goes down on Nikea too, but that's going to take some wrangling.

>seriously though I want more loyalist noise marines

>>53285117
I'm not a native english speaker myself, but I understand that it may cost others slightly more effort.

>>53285132
Yeah, I feel ya. Real shame the Symphonious Disciples anon seemingly disappeared.

>>53285031

Ye I think I started to forget my legions name but I will be going with smoke stalkers.

Everything is still a work in progress so I will be improving and adding too it.

As to the thing about fulgrim, I don't actually know too much as to what happened to him. I know he was possessed at some point but not much else so it want really on purpose. Is it too close to his story? Should I change it?

>>53285070
On the primarch discovery order why not just state how long after the start of the great crusade they were discovered and we can go from there or do we want specific characters found first to be warmasters or something

>>53285291
Nah, it's actually a neat allusion. In fact, you could even expand on it.

>>53285298
Not a bad idea , but we might simply be able to come to an agreement. Personally, I would like for Raj to be between the third and fifth to be discovered, for example.

I just added Ashur's stance on the council of nikaea, and honestly seeing how many pro-psykers we have, I decided to correct my primarch's stance and go full anti-psyker by going the Leman Russ approach:
>We have these wyches! They're unnatural, scary, and utterly without redeeming qualities!
>But you have weird dudes who bang drums and shoot mind bullets left, right and centre?!
>Those are our shamans! They draw their power from within their own purified and enlightened soul and the blessing of our homeplanet! They're entirely different strategies!

And then the shamans were heretics.

>>53285070
Thanks for the feed back man. I added that bit about him accidentally reigniting religion so I have a back up to use if we don't go the path of banning psykers

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>>53285345
>it's an Ashur is even more blind than Isekho episode

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>>53285345
>that doesn't sound right but I don't know enough about warp spirits to dispute it

>>53285331

Also I'm still unsure what I want Isekho to have done oncr he became war chief. Does he defeat the other tribes? Unify them?
Any suggestions would be appreciated.

>>53285475
Maybe he just unites a couple of local tribes through whatever means, builds up a small village of sorts, and then starts huntng the terrifying creatures of the mists, securing both a source of food and making sure the people are safe? This would mean the people flock to him on their own accord.

I like havingKane found between 2 and 5. although it could be cool having an Arse like him being the first discovered primarch.

>>53285514

Neat idea. An extra reason to play up how dangerous the world is.

>>53285070
Ok, so, in relation to the question I possed in this post above, I asked if we could evaluate the legions we have. Out of our 21 legions, I have doubts about 3 of them at the moment.

>Symphonious Disciples
Really cool concept, but the anon who posted them hasn't shown up in days and there's barely any content on them. We don't even have a Primarch name

>Spears of Dawn
This anon also hasn't shown up in a while. We don't have much on them, except for the fact they're based on celtic mythology. Neat, but I'm not sure how viable they are.

>Host of Purity
Out of the three I've poted here, thes guys have the most content. Still, I'm not convinced with them. Nothing really stands out about them and they feel like a complete filler legion to me.

Thoughts guys? I'm not looking to step on any toes here, but I just feel like these legions are either lacking or just not viable.

Linares may be found like the 5/7, enough time for his Legion to fight for themselves and gain reputation, and enough to fight along their Primarch and get used to his fighting style.

>>53285835
I agree with the Spears and the Disciples. Lack of info and the anon not showing up. We may even make them like the lost legions of the cannon universe, and send someone to terminate them or something. Or simply look for new ones.

Could someone post an updated version of the pic with all the Legions grouped?

Maybe we should give them an ultimatum?

Otherwise we should open our ranks. The best concept isn't working if there is no one to fill it.

Having just a filler Legiopn is not that of a problem. A simple Vanilla Legion which we could hate like the Ultramarines is not the wrst thing.

>>53285835

If the two anons are missing and not gonna update their legions I say we scratch those two. Host of Purity has a good amount t of background to it so far so I think they should stay at least.

>>53286000

Scrap those two*

>>53286000
I agree here. I think we can leave Host in for now. Worst come to worst we just use them as they are, but they have a bit of work on them so their writer might still return and just be busy?

Also does this mean CoH makes the cut to stay? Whoo!

>>53285982
A hated Legion may be needed. Haters Gonna Hate.

>>53285883
We should look for new ones. The Lost Legions are the OU's biggest plot hole, and we shouldn't try to repeat it.

>>53285982
>>53286000
>>53286014
>>53286093
Very well, let's scrap the Disciples and the Spears and look for two new legions. The Host of Purity can stay, as long as they get more of a personality in the coming days, sound fair?

>>53286159

Sounds fair enough

>>53285835
Ok if the Host of purity is not going to work out I have an idea for a tzeentch legion if we are still lacking one

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HEY YOU! Yes, YOU, person reading this post that is not part of this project yet!

Are you looking to join in on this incredible, amazing, irresistable AU? Well lucky you, now you can!

We have opened up TWO, yes TWO slots for newcomers to join in on the fun! Even better, we have not filled up ANY of our factions yet!

Do you want to create a legion of heroic Loyalists, vile Chaos Traitors or dangerous Seperatists?! Now is your chance!

If you're interested, start out with these basic questions:
>Name
>Primarch
>Legion/Primarch Personality
>Tactical Specialty
>Thematics
>Colors
>Loyalty

Don't wait. Don't delay. Don't fuck with us, or we'll rip your nuts off!

>>53286425
I want to join!!!!

^^

By the way, started to write down the Gunslingers lore. but I hurt my back and can't sit longer than a few minutes. If you have ideas or comments, please leave them here, i try to work them in^^.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vDHVYMhqY1MFAMZij2hHI2tgKIYFDxYxyZooRNoOBvI/edit

>>53286487
and not much atm

>>53286487
You might want to open up the file. You don't want us all individually asking for permission.

>>53286520
SepMech here.
Since I don't really think we need a sheet in the spreadsheet for the Mech yet, I'll just post the splatpage I've been working on for some patterns of stuff. Feel free to leave requests and suggestions!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1f0OarcH8ZWaN1cBv1Zekj8MW6ne72x3dyClZn-Of3ks

>>53285835
>>53286385
I see nothing wrong with the Host of Purity. They just need a little more development in order to stand out. As it is, their preferred tactics are rather typical for Space Marines. In addition, most canon Legions, even the smaller ones, had somewhere close to a hundred thousand Space Marines. Your numbers are a little too low to be feasible, I feel.

The Host of Purity already fixates a great deal on genetic purity. Perhaps give them a focus on weapons typically associated with 'purification' and 'cleansing'? Flamers, meltaguns, inferno pistols, etcetera. And maybe increase the emphasis you put on terminator armour. For example, taking the knight theme, perhaps the sergeant of each squad is a 'knight' with the battle brothers serving beneath him being his squires?

On an unrelated note, I forgot to post the Sovereign Legion's link >>53276885, so I'll post it here now:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lc9rPkIszb8iKy9j9qZop3pWLcTyKjSlrRYRauGApVg

>>53286626
>Sovereign Legion
>Ogre Legion

Never felt that great about the Sovereign Legion as a name but with the 'Legion' bit being used by someone else, the name should probably be changed again.

>>53286626
My gripes with legion are as follows:
>The color scheme is kind of bland and does not really mesh with the theme of the Legion
>"Muh genetic purity" marines have been done to death
>A legion obsessed with purity would not stray away from the Emperor's path, so them being Seps makes little sense to me
>Their theme of being 'medieval knights' has also been done to death, and is incredibly boring for Space Marines anyway

All around, I feel like they're not awful, I just don't feel like they add anything. Your suggestion of just giving them flamers weapons to further emphasize their purity aspect just makes them look like boring Salamanders to me.

They're not the 'vanilla' legion. The Ultramarines are 'vanilla' because, compared to other legions, they're relatively normal and on the level. The Ultramarines still have a good color scheme, clear theme and well-characterized Primarch. Vanilla =/= boring.

>>53286692
Hmm, fair enough. How about:

>Sovereign Host
>Marines Sovereign
>Sovereign Champions
>Sons of Sovereignty
>Sons of the Sovereign

Genetic purity can be a thing if the emps as psyker is viewed as abomination. A mutant which leads mankind down to corruption.

>>53286751
I would rather not contribute another idea which has already been done to death if needs be we can remove them

>>53285047
First Draft completed.

>>53286871
It's not poorly written, and I don't want you leaving us with the Host. My gripes really are with the concept of this particular legion.

You said you had ideas for a Tzeentch legion? Maybe that's something we could work on? Feel free to throw out any fun ideas you might have!

>>53286751
>Sovereign Host
Doesn't provide an easy singular or plural noun for Marines on the Chapter.
>Marines Sovereign
Same as above, although you could go with 'Marine/Marines,' which is a little bland.
>Sovereign Champions
A little too fancy.
>Sons of Sovereignty
Probably the best one out of the suggested names. Son/Sons is easy enough, plus the name is still appropriately fancy and arrogant without pushing it too far.
>Sons of the Sovereign
Implies superiority over other Primarchs, which is a little too arrogant.

Sons of Sovereignty it is, until anyone else comes up with something better.

>>53286425

Glad a spot opened. Been lurking for a couple days but you were full so hadn't joined.

>Name
Clay Shields

>Primarch
Terro Antrisar

>Legion/Primarch Personality
Terro and his sons believe that nothing can withstand forever. Should two opposing forces meet, one will eventually give way. War is less a matter of destroying an enemy than outlasting them. So too does Terro look upon humanity and its struggle against the galaxy. There are many trials, perhaps they will never end, but they must be endured, and it is the duty of the strong to shield the weak. He views himself, his brothers and their legions as the defenders of man, and the great crusade less as a conquest and more as a pre-emptive defensive action. Terro is a serious and contemplative figure, and believes strongly in the ideas of duty and fate. His past on a dying world, his long time alone, is not an accident or a curse, but a part of his destiny. Terro and his legion are considered dull and unimaginative by their brothers, or stupid automatons by the most judgemental. Others may respect them as calm and patient, doing what they believe is right without exception or compromise.

>Thematics
Not really sure. Biblical golems combined with ww2 soviets?

>Colors
Brown and ochre

>Loyalty
Loyalist (or potentially separatist depending on the exact reason for the split)

>>53286425
I would be happy to contribute, though I'm more of a drop ideas then fuck off kinda guy

>Name
Stars of Sol

>Primarch
Heschel An

>Legion/Primarch Personality
Quiet and taciturn. Unquestioning obedience to commanding officers

>Tactical Specialty
Small squads, usually backing up non-Astartes forces. Heavy focus on long-range sniping to minimise risk.

>Thematics
Asian-based

>Colors
Half-white, half-blue

>Loyalty
They get knocked around quite a bit since their so spread out, majority will probably end up as loyalist.

>>53286901
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gVBmy0UZIM3UBxVU5zm-ew59Yx4c_I3GFhVPyMBn11A/edit?usp=sharing
What do you think?

is 4chan work again?

>>53287291
Ye.

I'm working on a Forge Lords doc right now, I'll update you guys when it's done.

>>53286994
The last bit, if it lets me post.

>Tactical Speciality
Wide fronts, defence in depth, continuous offensive. Their tactics are all about wearing the enemy into oblivion. They constantly seek to increase the pressure upon their enemy, never allowing time to regroup or redeploy, always escalating the engagement until enemy morale and cohesion collapses. Robustness of command lines, morale, individual soldiers and units is their greatest strength, and the bedrock of their success.

Although they can be killed as any other, Clay Shields have the ability to heal from any non-fatal injury. Although recovery may take weeks, even months, in rare occasions years, they will eventually heal to their original state, even regrowing limbs if necessary. Their primarch takes this to another level, being able to visibly regenerate during combat. As a result of this, the chapter has no dreadnaughts or bionics, but a higher proportion of veteran soldiers.

>>53287060
Hmmm. I like asian theme legions. However a legion focused on long rang exists already here and another specialises in taking enemy key elements out.

>>53286994
>>53287370

Bit of primarch backstory.

Terro landed upon a world is the process of dying. He wandered among the crumbling cities of civilisations long dead, until after many years he met the stunted descendents of the world's people. There were few of them left, and the radiation and heat which had destroyed their world had almost brought them to extinction. They mistook Terro for a Golem, a machine of ancient built in the likeness of man to be their servant, and took him in as such. In this, Terro found meaning to his life, so had no complaints about being a servant. Unlike them, he could withstand the blistering heat and punishing radiation of his world. The remaining people, little more than a tribe, were better off for his help, but still they dwindled, and years later he was left without any humans to aid. Instead he lived alone, reading the records of the lost civilisations of his planet. Alone, he eventually began to rebuild, and built a vast city complete with fortifications. When he was at last discovered by the Imperium, he came to realise his existence thus far had been simply an education. It had made him strong, made him patient, let him know the value of serving before he had to command, forced him to learn to endure. Where once he had shielded the people of that dying world and ultimately failed, he would now do the same for greater humanity, and this time succeed.

>>53287599
The other thing I'm noting is we have a lot of Exotic Legions, which while I'm all for we're forgetting there's nothing wrong with having some legions that share motifs with cannon.

>>53287370
Thematically intereating but it could and in most cases will lead to a mary sueish legion. Unkillable. Lots of veterans. Every marine a survivor.of million battles. Everyone a hero. I don't think the lack of dreads will make up for it. And I haven't written something about the primarch who regnerates himself in battle. Some kind of super vulkan uber perpetual. I already hate the perpetual thing in canon. Make them tougher or find another nish but not that plz.

>>53287676
>Unkillable. Lots of veterans. Every marine a survivor.of million battles. Everyone a hero.
IE every space Marine

>Primarch regeneration
It's oka.

Controversial opinion time: I don't mind perpetuals

Guys I'll be AFK for some time. See you! Don't scrap me!

>>53287676
I didn't really mean to imply that they could survive more than any other marine, just where other legions would need to put some bionics on these guys just wait a few weeks to grow a new whatever. If another legion's marine would have died of the injury, so would one of these. The extra veterans are mostly just the guys who would have been dreadnaughts in another legion. In other words, I didn't intend survivability to actually be much higher. The regrowth is more thematic than a direct improvement in combat power.

On the other hand, I can see where you're coming for with the primarch perhaps being over the top, but again I'd like to point out there's no perpetual style 'immunity to death'. Cut the man's head off and he's gone for good. And it's not like a primarch would ever die due to multiple small injuries sustained over time anyway.

>>53287795
I actually think they're pretty retarded, but it's a pretty marmite subject.

>>53287753
Not in 30k mate.in 30k they die in great masses. The great crusade is a meat grinder. In 40k you are correct. Nigh Unkillable

The Clay Shields are cool, but I think that individuals lasting for so long is too far from grimdarkness than desired.

>>53287855
Kane wants to befriend the King of Ale^^

>>53287847
They're the same marines as in 40k. It's just things are deadlier in 30k.
>>53287855
Eldar live for millennia. Some space Marines love for centuries.

>>53287795
Same.

>>53287855
Also, Don't know if you saw the post but I took a crack at your Dreadnought.

>>53287599
Well its not so much as an elite assassination squad as less than a dozen marines assigned to look over an entire world. The reason they resort to sniping is because they simply don;t have the numbers to go all out against the enemy. Sniping isn't really what I had in mind as their speciality but it made sense given their organisation.

In terms of the frontier they would be the extremely ubiquitous marines, nearly every planet knows of them but that results in them having paper thin supply lines. Also, due to their upbringing, they won't deviate from the original mission parameters given (e.g. protect this shithole death world)

>>53288151
In hindsight perhaps applying the rigid leader-based culture of China to scattered independent marines wasn't the best idea. I'll probably rework them into something else if nobody steps up in like 24 hours.

>>53287887
I thought space marines were celibate?

>>53288286

Platonic, you dingus.

>>53288305
This explains much

>>53286425
Oh man, we have a free loyalist spot, I'm so tempted to bring CoH back to the light side. But I think I have a nice good guy goes bad story going ot would be a shame to waste it.

>>53288278
Never mind, I'll just push something out now.

>Name
Blazing Stars

>Primarch
Narad Zelos

>Legion/Primarch Personality
Independent and insubordinate. Legion is hard to control but will bunker down and give their lives for their battle-brothers when push comes to shove. General lack of respect shown towards their Primarch and other Astartes.

>Tactical Specialty
Drop pods/precise orbital insertion. Construction and operation of forward assault bases and trenches with a heavy infantry focus. Used to build up initial tactical positions.

>Thematics
American Civil War

>Colors
Blue with red and white trim

>Loyalty
Separatist or traitor? More organised legions dislike working with them

Clay Shields guy here. Responses so far have been negative on the whole. Should I try to rework the idea or just abandon ship and try to think of something new? If rework, any suggestions of what to change, other than presumably the whole regrowth/regen thing?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BQB39coMcIWV38kBjkHbp84bbFwdp_QdoJJkykC2yi4/edit?usp=sharing

I made a doc for the Forge Lords. It's rudimentary right now so I'm open to suggestions. I need to work on how Emps picked up Mot right now I think.

>>53287077
I don't mind it at all, has quite a bit of potential. Couple of things we'd need to keep in mind though:
- Growing wings immediately brings in the Sanguinius comparison
- As opposed to canon, there's a couple more psyker legions. We need to figure out why this guy was chosen specifically.
- An Aztec legion is like a Celtic legion in the sense that they're the unoriginal way of being original, if that makes sense? Have you considered native North American influences?

>>53287629
>>53289018
I don't actually mind them actually, but if others feel like the power might be too much, then that's a no-go. Your writing is good in and of itself though.

>>53288887
So marines with a bit of a rebellious streak? Care to elaborate?

>>53285031
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wR3s3gy47FxuLws805y9Tj6dCB8QS0Ctbm51Fx3i0LI/edit
Added Valorn's past to the Hounds doc. now to start on the past of the Hounds themselves.

>>53289274
If everyone agrees then I remove Host of purity and develop this idea and then we will have all 4 chaos gods represented

>>53289459
You have my ok. The VIIth legion is yours.

I'm not the big boss though, I don't know why people seem to think I am

>>53289500
You're a doctor. People trust doctors

>>53289500
Probably because you were one of the more vocal namefags in IA among others.

Is there any reason why legions can't have any sort of scout armour like later chapters use?

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>>53289633
I believe that they skipped the neophyte process entirely.

>>53289681
So technical they could have a version they use right?

Question.

Any of us know any Drawfags? We should probably figure out the symbol of the Separatist forces, Legions, so on. So forth.

>>53289700
The Legions do use scout armour. It's just not the default option for their recon units. And Neophytes go straight into service in power armour rather than 'cutting their teeth' as scouts first

>>53289700
I don't see why not, though legions had a different tactical purpose than chapters so It might not be as efficient as putting all your dudes in full armor.

>>53289715
I've been using the Minotaur sigil for the Forge Lords, though that might come about after they turn to chaos.

>>53289826
I mean more the symbol the legions will march beneath, as implying the triumvirate continues to exist up into the 41st millennium its right to assume the they would form their own mini-imperiums.

>>53289869
Except the CSM legions.

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>Name
Twilight Phantoms

>Primarch
Jan Vacek

>Legion/Primarch Personality
Apparently level-headed, but actually vengeful and filled with hate for their enemies. Dour but prone to fits of explosive rage. Take great pride in their work, but see it as just that, work. Don't really have a warrior culture so much as what they see as a being a form of artisan craft.

>Tactical Specialty
Stealth, but generally tactically flexible. Vehicle use is not as strong as other legions, but individual marines are very skilled. Prefer skirmishes and close quarters, almost guerrilla warfare.

>Thematics
Tacticool, 80s revival, neon, John Wick

>Colors
Black with white trim and cyan highlights

>Loyalty
Separatist

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNXsO6j0n4s

Partly joking, but not really.

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So i was thinking, maybe the Heresy should be in three waves:

1. Initial Heresy, the primarchs who first rebel for various reasons, not necessarily all of them have turned to Chaos.
2. Other primarchs who begin to question the Imperium as a result of the first Heresy also rebel. Some may turn to Chaos.
3. The Great Heresy, a united Chaos front pushes against the Imperium, non-Chaos traitors form a confederation.

Pictured: Chaos and the Imperium

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>>53290515
>Killing strangers intensifies

Not sure how to feel about them.

>>53290515
I've already seen a not!John Wick Primarch with IA's Raydon.

Actually, how are we doing right now? We should be able to lock down the factions pretty soon with these new entries.

>>53290569
I think that single mass scale civil war with Primarchs turning on the Imperium would already change waaaay too much for there to ever be a second, let along a third. Once shit goes down, it needs to go down.

>>53286924
>Sovereign Citizens

AM I BEING DETAINED!?!?!

:p

>>53290683
>>53290625
I was mostly joking, but I don't think we have a sneaky legion do we? That seems like something of a departure from the norm. I'm not totally up to date on who is in and who is out though.

>>53290569
I don't see why it doesn't happen all at once. Maybe something like the Separatists declaring their succession shortly after a Burning of Prospero type event then Chaos making itself known shortly thereafter. Maybe Chaos pretends to be on both sides at first and waits till the separatists and loyalists have their first major engagement to pull an Istvaan style attack. They then apparently have the upper hand, but end up fighting a war on two front. Some more stuff happens, and Chaos mounts a Siege on Terra. The Separatists come to help just because they don't want to see all of reality end, but after the battle is over and all sides are too weak to go on they splinter away, the Separatists and loyalists having a sort of truce because of the help at Terra, and Chaos hiding in the Eye.

If we have any open legions permission to take a swing? I had an idea that perhaps the SepMech are sort of inspired by a sort of Iorn Hands-Stye Legion.
So like I said, permission to take a shot?

>>53290763
My personal thought was to have a number of legions break off from the Imperium after they're left behind on the Isstvan like event.

Having a couple more split off during a Prospero-like atrocity makes sense.

>>53290999
You're free to take a shot, certainly.

>>53291001
I doubt that any group smaller than 6 would have the confidence to say they were going to defect unless there was already shit hitting the fan. So either Chaos comes first or Separatists do, but I don't think the one that comes first would trickle in.

>>53291139
You say that, but Horus started with pretty much 7 legions. The Thousand Sons only joined later on and the Night Lords were just fucking around, not really giving a shit about the Heresy proper.

>>53291207
Yeah, a group smaller than 6. Maybe four or five, but any less than that would be too scared to openly rebel.

Am I right in thinking the Forge Lords would be one of the larger legions due to Mot Hadad's autistic micromanaging?

>>53291362
An argument could be made for any Legion being very large or very small, yours included.

It really just depends on where you draw the line between what is reasonable and what is a kid on the playground saying his stick is infinity times better than the other kid's, so that means he wins.

You see this all the time with people who write their Marines as being even more giganterer than everyone else, having even more ships/tanks/whatever than everyone else, and of course even more soldiers than everyone else.

It's just a sliding scale of what people will tolerate.

All that is to say, "Autistic micromanagement" certainly doesn't necessarily lead to a large Legion. If anything, they'd be disorganized and completely lacking in personal initiative. Like how most micromanaged employees behave.

>>53291362
I would actually wager that would mean they're relatively small, because Mot over scrutinizes and pushes all the recruits too far. Hell, he could even outright reject having any larger than he could personally manage because he needs refuses anyone else doing it.

>>53291362
>>53291426
>>53291479
My assumption is that Mot would see to it Marine production is boosted out of the ass. Them having a larger than average Marine count makes perfect sense to me.

>>53291511
I Second this, however I would see the crash (I.E turn rate of veterans) to be rather limited due to the standards that he holds his Marines to.

>>53291426
Maybe autistic micromanagement would be the wrong phrase, then. I'm imagining Mot as brutally efficient but also domineering.

>>53291511
That doesn't really follow from what Sarco was describing, but ok.

And if Sarco's full attention makes moar mehreens happen, why aren't all the other Primarchs applying their skills to the same task? What are they busy doing with themselves, lol. Is Sarco's entire ability "I get more soldiers than everyone else" or something?

>>53291534
Oh yeah, the Bronze Lords would be an attrition machine. An almost literal meat grinder.

>>53291565
You make a fair point.

>>53291629
So maybe the Forge Lords would vary wildly in population throughout the crusade. I do see them having a shit ton of special gear though.

To-do list:

>Ogre Legion write-up
>Establish Heresy events
>Move on, done, I've done the Heresy, time for M32-M41
>New Chaos Xenos
>Imperial Guard!!! I am Zorg after all!
>Admech too
>Other Xenos

I have big plans for this. Big plans.

For you new guys, I was IA's premier "Anything but Space Marines" and HkH's "I'm just gonna write a shit ton of post-heresy stuff because you guys are stuck in M31" guy.

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thoughts on colour scheme

>>53291907
Were you the guy who made the space KKK regiment?

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>>53291967
Yes. I might even bring them back for the Emperor's sake.

Among countless other regiments and other forces, because why the fuck not.

Pic related

>>53291959
That drives fear into me^^

>>53292029
I'm not sure if we should be adding other things /tg/ has created to this.

>>53291959
It's not particularly pleasing to the eye....

File: Standard Legion Marine.jpg (59 KB, 400x500)

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>Name
The Sanguine Shields
>Primarch
Tassidus Cain
>Legion/Primarch Personality
Stubborn, cold and calculating; The Sons of the Sanguine Shields are adept at bearing the brunt of an enemy's offence before bringing the full brunt of their legion to bare upon the weakened foe.
>Tactical Specialty
Reactionary Warfare, geared particularly towards siege breaking and counter-offensives as well as a penchant for cybernetic enhancement. Fields more Tech-Marines than other Legions
>Thematics
Knight's Templar/Crusader Era Europe
>Colors
Bright Red with Darker Blue Tones (See Image)
>Loyalty
Separatists

>>53292098
>I'm not sure if we should be adding other things /tg/ has created to this
What are they gonna do, sue me? I literally made those regiments!

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Found the Ogre Legion's color scheme.

>>53292112
Hilariously, we already have a primary with the surname Cain.

>>53292112
Sounds pretty good to me. It looks pretty similar to the Marchers in terms of color palette, but that's not a major point. The name's a bit of a no go, considering we have Deshain Kane already.

>>53292115
I don't think you should be adding any groups or factions, unless they've been discussed with the people here? Personally, I'm not fond of the idea of bringing /tg/'s other projects into this either. Same question was asked during IA, and the idea was solemnly rejected then too. W3 should be it's own thing.

>>53292208
I can always change the last name, I was just using a name I frequent in some campaigns. Otherwise I'm wondering if the legion meshes with well with what we've already got.

>>53292208
Bubba!

>>53292218
>Same question was asked during IA, and the idea was solemnly rejected then too
No, I don't think it was.

>>53292115
Self plagiarism is still plagiarism, and weakens the integrity of the entire project.

>>53291959
I shall miss the gift of sight...

>>53292112
>"Bright Red with Dark Blue tones"
>Is more than 50% blazing orange

Anon... I...

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>>53292040
>>53292098
I have toned it down a bit. thoughts?

>>53292291
Hey now! The hex codes were for a shade of red! It isn't my fault B'n'C doesn't support it well

>>53292291
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

>>53292291
>Self plagiarism is still plagiarism
It's not self plagiarism if I acknowledge it.

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>>53289018
>>53289274

I'm happy to throw away the whole regen thing. I can see why people wouldn't like it. Personally I think they have enough character without it anyway.

More importantly colours.

>>53292333
Ok.

>>53292346
I just don't think recycling things from other projects is a great idea.

>>53292451
>I just don't think recycling things from other projects is a great idea.
Eh, oh well. Only trolls will make mountains of it in all likelihood. Plus some concepts I didn't fully expand on, like Septicus.

>>53292307
Better...
The fear is gone...
Agony is coming in. Somehow I connect this to a drowned man.

>>53292112
Octavius Vect? That work for a name?

>>53292361
Ahhj. Pleasure for my eyes.that is a color scheme i like.

>>53292307
I like it, it feels very jungley and fits the meaning of Matlalihuitl's name

>>53292523
Cheers bud. My experience of painting armies has always made me think browns can be surprisingly attractive for a 'dull' colour.

>>53292307
>>53292559

I'd reverse the blue and green to go more for the jungle theme, make it primarily green. I don't mind the current one though, just green would be more thematic.

>>53292307
Little bit "neon", maybe. But I have no strong feelings in this regard.

>>53292361
Normally I like a little bit of color to stand out from darker tones, but it almost feels like you'd do better to remove the red and go full earth-tones, except maybe for the lenses. The gray components could get a little bit darker, which would enhance the earth-tone as well.

(Personally, I'd suggest either bright blue or bright green for the lenses. Sapphires and Emeralds are often found in clay-dominant soils. If you stay with red, make it a dark red for Garnets.)

Better?

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>>53292507
>>53292559
>>53292625
>>53292664
reversed

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>>53292700
..Of course the Image Didn't load

>>53292720
Try using the Chapter Constructor.

https://bitbucket.org/chaptergenerator/chaptergenerator/downloads/

>>53292218
>Same question was asked during IA, and the idea was solemnly rejected then too
Actually, you were one of the ones who said you didn't mind.

>>53292762
And later on I changed my mind about it. That's not that weird, is it?

>>53292707
I don't particularly like it, but that's based on personal taste, not anything inherently wrong with your scheme beyond teal and green clashing with each other a little bit.

>>53292720
It's very visually busy/complex. Sometimes that's okay, sometimes it's more distracting than good.

In my experience, there are very few paint schemes that look good while having a two-tone helmet, in particular.

>>53292821
Any Suggestions? Trying to avoid using a lot of the paint schemes already done to be honest. Since mostly that seems to be the issue. Already have a different name for the Primarch, just need the greenlight to add it to the Sheet.

>>53292707

Looks flat to me now, but I think that's because there's no aquilla/skull/elblems on the chest and shoulders.

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>>53292862
I think this is the best one so far

>>53292870
That one's actually kind of good.

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>>53292707
Reminds me of pic related.

>>53292870
I honestly have to agree with you there

>>53292860
I'll play with the painter for a bit, see if anything jumps out at me.

>>53292895
>>53292902
>>53292922
Ok we have a final colour scheme

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>>53292720
>>53292860
>>53292950
This one kind of felt good to me. Very, very dark red with a moderately bright blue to draw the eye, and gunmetal to break up the color blocks.

>>53293105
I dig it!

I'm also just looking at seeing if I can do a red/white Knights Templar look at the moment but i'm TOTALLY down for it.

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Should the Forge Lords change their name and/or color scheme after the heresy? Also, I'd imagine that they pioneer the use of daemon engines but I wanted to get input before I made any declarations.

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Alright then...Thoughts?

>>53293218
I like it a lot. Can you post one without a shield so we can see more of the armor?

>>53293156
Well, I would Certainly say for if you're going Chaos feel free to make some crazy pain schemes to go with the transition but its really up to you!

>>53293218
Pretty good. Is that still the Sanguine Shields? It looks a lot different and it's a little over-decorated, for a more pragmatic legion.

Is that a standard battle brother? If not, then what does the standard battle brother look like?

>>53293156
well they are a traitor legion called the FORGE Lords. Be weird if the pioneered the use of men's sanitary products or knitted top hats instead of deamon engines
>>53293218
These guys remind me a lot of the Loxodontii. not that that's a bad thing, but there's quite a few similarities in my mind

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For people making new legions, here's the aesthetics of (some of) the existing legions, to make sure you're not making anything that's too similar.

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>>53293361
Well, with what i've been writing up tentatively their Primarch Octavius landed on a distant Forgeworld (You can imagine how well this goes over when the Emperor shows up claiming Octavius is his child). With what I have planned while Octavius is loyal to the Emperor (until the Separation) He never really lost the religious part of his upbringing in the Mechanicus. However gotta say I threw that look together just because I liked it. Attached the Standard Marine.
>>53293391
What sort? Trust me The Sanguine Shields are still young so there's plenty of room for Feedback.

>>53293446
Hadn't Leviathan Host and Loxodontii gotten their names fixed in a previous version? Why use the wrong ones again?

>>53292361
The red mohawk thing instantly made me think of Gaurdians of the Galaxy.

>>53292151
This is cool, I like it. Would love to see what it looks like on a painted Marine.

>>53292151
Extremely stylish.

>>53291959
Imagine an army on the tabletop painted like this with tanks and thunderhawks and all the rest. It might look amazing but it might also be impossible haha

>>53271527

Symphonious Disciples anon here, I've been traveling for the better part of a week and haven't been able to access my computer terminal, I'll have the doc up later tonight.

Other then just finalizing the Color scheme, do I have the blessing to add my mark to the Sheet?

>>53293473
I think it's just the shades of grey seem very similar to me. However, the Shields have darker and more vibrant colours than the Loxodontii and they use the more colourful colours more often. It might just have been the similarity between the armour used in >>53293218 and the armour on the Loxodontii colour scheme throwing me off a little

>>53271527
>>53293676
Yeah I've been pretty busy as well. I can only do a fair chunk after work. I'll finalise Je'She's backstory tonight and then work on refining the legion

>>53293676
Your legion has been removed in your absence. Better re-add it to the document before someone else takes your place.

>>53293703
I can always brighten the Grey, I tried it with white and it just looked too clashy.

>>53289274
>So marines with a bit of a rebellious streak? Care to elaborate?

The closest bonds they have is to their brothers in battle, and they highly value their own liberty. Everything else comes secondary, they only respect their leaders if they get down in the trenches with them.

Their primarch is a pretty chill guy who cares more about the direction of the legion as a whole rather than their current behaviour, which leads people to feel that he isn't doing enough to corral his sons.

>>53293749
I reckon that would increase their similarity rather than decrease it. I'd maybe go a little in the other direction, but not much

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>>53293794
Better? Brightened the red a tiny bit to boost the contrast.

>>53293938
It's like someone threw an Apothecary, Chaplain and Techmarine into a blender, lol.

>>53293938
Poifect

>>53293965
Alrighty then!
So...Permission to post the Legion or should I wait for a few other votes of confidence?

>>53293938
How do the Shields feel about the Forge Lords before the heresy? After?

>>53293986
Given their Primarch's upbringing he would no doubt see the reasoning by the Pre-Heresy Forgelords, but while they may share a mutual belief in industry and the march of progress; Octavius would most likely butt heads with Mott on how little he values the citizens they are both fighting to protect.

Whelp, time to write out the lore! *Cracks Knuckles*

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>>53292664
>>53292361

Based on suggestions above, a new version. Which looks better?

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I'm trying to decide what color helmet Forge Lords officers should have...

>>53294964

I'd keep the same one as everyone else. Mark them out by something else like pouldron rim.

>>53294852
I like the second one, of course. #bias

If you wanted to get extra fancy, you could find a shade of brown intermediate between the lower and upper leg, and use that for the kneecap. That way you would get the "fade" effect moving from one color to the other, rather than a sharp transition. Might look more "natural/geological" that way perhaps.

A similar principle would apply to the forearm, easing the transition from gloves to upper arm.

>>53295033
I get what you're saying but I think I prefer the sharper change. After all, they're based around the idea of golems, which even if made of clay/stone/whatever are still by their nature man made rather than natural.

I'm still sort of torn between the two designs myself, so I was going to go for whichever other people liked more. I definitely prefer the darker eyes though, I think I'll keep those whichever design I use for the rest.

>>53294852
I honestly like the red bit, have you tried using the red crest on the darker helmet? or maybe just making the red darker itself?

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>>53295033
On a completely different note, and unrelated to the current discussion, check this paint scheme out.

I did not expect quartered bronze + that dark red I recommended to separatist earlier to look so... distinctive. It's quite appealing.

If anyone so wishes, feel free to run with it. If not maybe I'll use it in a Successor Chapter or something later idk.

>>53295140
Whatever works best in your eyes, bro. After all, any given Legion will be seen far more by their author than any outside onlookers anyway.

Above all else, the paint scheme has to make *you* feel satisfied. ;)

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>>53295025
How does this look?

Noticed extreme similarities between both the names and histories of Valorn of the Pale Hounds and Vardon of the Sons of Sovereignty.

Vardon de Mouveau will become Gregoire de Mouveau instead. Hopefully, this'll be the last change of names for this legion. I'll give him an appropriately different backstory in due time.

>>53295597
Teal's okay. Doesn't do much for me personally though.

I know in canon, the different ranks have different colored helmets for easy identification. That provides a large block of color, as opposed to pauldron trim which might be easily dirtied or even sheared off in combat.

Perhaps it might be worth considering painting the entire pauldron, changing one bone patch to that same teal?

>>53287077
>>53289459
>>53291959
>>53292707
>>53292870
>Soaring Host

Keep in mind we've already got a Leviathan Host.

>>53295695
I chose it because it's the closest I could get to the color of tarnished bronze.

>>53295179
Looks like a darkened version of howling griffons?

How does everyone's Primarchs feel about Lambach, I did a relationship guide for him and a few others last thread, was hoping to build on that based on what some others felt?
I think story wise Lambach might have the idea of sending his marines to other chapters and fostering his brothers marines to get a better view on varying tactics.
Is everyone ok with that or should we change it from the canon?

>>53296345
Once upon a time there was a great argument about whether or not a "Primarch relationship web" was an appropriate thing to do for an AU 40k project.

>>53296489
It's a dangerous game, certainly. I feel like I missed a lot of IA. I don't remember that happening in the Hektor Heresy.

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How do you feel about smoke daemons for Hashut?

>>53296742
I don't see a problem with it.

>>53296742
The fuck am I looking at?

And yeah, that would be cool, but I feel they should also have the possessed machinations like Chaos Dwarfs.

>>53293746

Will do.

>>53296934
>The fuck am I looking at?
A pretty good representation of a smoke daemon if I do say so myself.

>possessed machinations
Oh for sure, that will be the main thing. I just thought smoke daemons would be cool. Also a 40k version of the K'daai Fireborn.

>>53296963

Alright, I've re-added the Symphonious Disciples to the document, under the 12th legion. I'll have the doc setup momentarily.

>>53297086
>K'daai Fireborn
The what?

>>53297112
These >>53293156 motherfuckers.

>>53297125
Oh.

Sounds like an epic name for a traitor imperial guard regiment though.

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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1N95Vwe0ArYsqZABEtBM_QTwKn9stP9mE0kvdzalz6xM/edit?usp=sharing

Here's the link for the Symphonious Disciples, it took a few days to write, tell me where I went wrong and what needs improving. Ave Imperator!

We hit bump limit, we need a new thread, methinks

>>53297368
I'm on it, but I think we should rework the pasta first.

>>53297678
Which Pasta?

>>53297715
The one for the OP. I don't think we need to keep the one advertising for more legions.

>>53297766
Well, I'm sort of Spearheading the Sepmech, and we still need to recruit for Regiments on all sides and Forgeworlds and all sorts of stuff for now.

>>53297766
We need to advertise for Mechanicum, Army, and other Auxilia, along with potentially drawfagging and writefagging

>>53297790
>>53297794
I'll have the Regiments front down this weekend, among other fronts.