What sort of traitors are we facing, commissar?

>>53727357
The most Traitorous kind of traitorly traitors! ...Fallen Imperial Guardsmen! The most VILE kind of traitors known to man!
>>53727362
Trooper! What pattern of lasgun is this!? Also... WHERE IS YOUR UNIFORM'S NAME TAG!?! YOU HAVE TO THE COUNT OF FIVE, TO FIND, AND ANSWER MY QUESTION!

>>53727323
Traitors, eh? This should be entertaining. I'll fetch my daily Nutri-Slurry for this.

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>>53727433
its on me pipes

>>53727323
WHO CAN I OFFER TO KHORNE PUNY MAN?

>>53727433
Do you have any intelligence other than that?

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Yessir, mister Comissar.

>>53727481
"YOU WHITCH MAN, WHY ARE YOU OUTSIDE THE SHIP AGAIN, PUNY MAN PERRMISON TO VIOLENTLY OFFER THIS WEAKLING WREATCH TO MY LORD"

>>53727639
Eh, I do notice the bloodhound is loose again. Permission to requisition a squiq-plushie for him to chew on?

>>53727690
AXEI TELLS ME YOUR INSULTING ME. HE ASLO SAYS THAT BLOODHOUNDS ARE RARE OUTSIDE OF THE PRIME WORLDS OF ULTRAMAR.

AXEI WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT DOGS?

>>53727568
You people KNOW I can't read your drugged up gibberish, when it's on a pipe!
>>53727613
Nobody yet, good Captain!

That's reminds me though... Which of our glorious company's are you the Captain of again? There seems to have been some clerical error, and I can't find any sign of you in regimental records.
>>53727637
Good man, Trooper Riverglow! You'll go far in this regiment, if you keep both your name tag, and your lasgun in proper order!
>>53727629
Reports seem to indicate, that they are the local Imperial guard forces here on this Hive world of Promendus. They appear to be aided by foul cultists, who will obviously, be trying to out do, my superior tactical ingenuity!

They however, shall fail! For Local command as order us to be the only regiment needed, to wipe them out!

>>53727731
Well, Khorne does seem to like dogs as well as bulls, rams and other such animals, bloodhound seems to fit your status as a hunter for Khorne.

i think the traitor might be the the khorne berzerker
but i don't want to say unbased accusation

>>53727773
*cough* Reporting in, s-sir.

>>53727731
Y-you know, I might *wheeze* have some idea who the traitor is. C-call it a hunch.

>>53727773
I AM FROM THE FAR HUNT DISCORDIA THRID COMPANY. LAST SURVIVING MEMBER OF THE FAR HUNT DISCORDIA THIRD COMAPANY.
>>53727777
HE LIKES GROX HOUNDS AND FLESH TEARING BULLS THEY ARE REALY REALY HARD TO KILL. I WANTED ONE WHEN I SAW IT. ALSO SHUT UP WHITCH MAN, YOU ARE A PYKER YOU SHALL NOT TALK OF MY LORD

>>53727773
Erhm, mister Commissar? I 'ave a question, if ya don' mind.

>>53727795
WHO IS IT, WHO CAN I OFFER TO MY LORD?
>I rev my chain axe with the captive demon of tzeech inside letting out an audible groan of "idiot"

>>53727795
Congratulations on making it to the inspection on time for once, Corporal Van Kleez! Because of your tendancy to arrive late, I had to improvise, and have some other trooper, temporarily take over the task of radio operator!

>>53727811
>>53727831
Eh, if you say so. I'll also make sure to never use telepathy on you, I'm afraid the most common blessing of Khorne, simple-minded-idiocy is contagious.

>>53727811
Ah, yes! I figured you were from our glorious Third company!
...
......
...That's the one made up entirely of infantry, correct?

>>53727827
Ask your question, trooper Riverglow! But make it a good one!

>>53727864
IT IS NO SCOUTS AND LANDING VHERCALS .... OR AT LEAST IT WAS...-sniffle- NO I AM NOT CRYING BLOOD, SHUT UP

>>53727864
>>53727811
Where did we pick up that shoutin' fellow? He looks really estatic about tis' whole thing.

>>53727833
Ah shit, what kinda moron did you let on my set this time? The last one m-managed to strip all the labels off the dials, and then called air support on our position *cough* while trying to order supplies.

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is this laser gun fit for duty, commissar?

>>53727904
WHEN YOUR SQUAD WAS FIGHTING ELDAR LITTLE MAN, IT WAS GLORIOUS AND THE ADMECH WAS VERY NICE. HE EVEN THREATEND ME ONCE, SUCH A GOOD GUY...YOU COMMISARS A IDIOT THOUGH.
> I pick up the guardsmen by the laples with on arm

"DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?"

>>53727943
N-no mister shoutin' m-man... I-i was just askin'...

>>53727904
Why, he's our replacement third company Captain! And he is one of our most loyal troopers! For his love of Corn, as his people call the Emperor, is unmatched by all but a few in this regiment!

>>53727900
I question not your rare ability to cry blood, Captain. But I do need you to present your arms, and armour for inspection. For while I do not doubt your loyalty to the Emperor. I mustn't show favouritism to anyone in this regiment. Lest the Traitor in our midst use kindness against us!

>>53727934
It is suitable trooper, if you are of the Tempestus Scions. BUT I CANNOT TELL, DUE TO YOUR LACK OF NAME TAG!

>>53727970
"GOOD THEN"
> I drop him back on the gorund and send him sprawling with a heavy handed pat on the back

NICE LITTLE MAN.

>>53727979
OKAY PUNNY MAN [let me figure out how ta do it]

>>53727916
Ah yes... I remember Corporal Hue'man... He was a good man, and loyal soldier. Until I had to execute his green colour body, for that incident...

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HERE PUNNY MAN

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>>53727979
I guess that includes me as well. I trust you'll find this satisfactory?

>>53727323
Sorry to interupt but update on that feral world a dark eldar cabal has joined the violence and so much blood has been shed there that a warp rift has opened and vomited some very red frenzied angry tau

>>53727998
sorry, commissar
not a scion, those glory boys stole my nametag, in fact
do not worry sir, i took it back

>>53728028
Ah yes. Your glorious Astarte's disguise holds true! It shall confuse the enemy into believing that they are actually worthy of fighting the unbridled wraith and might of the Astartes!

But I must ask... What Chapter are you supposed to be disguised as? I've never seen that look before... Atleast not from a loyalist chapter.

[that actually fucking worked? get in there]

HAPPY PUNY MAN?

>I stand over the pykers shoulder, reving axei every once in a while

>>53728041
WHAT YOU DOING? WHAT YOU DOING NOW? CAN I KILL YOU YET?....WHY NOT? WHAT YOU DOING?

>>53728046
COG MAN WELCOME BACK
>I effectively punch the techpreast in the back with a "gentle" tap on the back

>>53728046
hello fellow seer i am in charge of vehicle maintenance

>>53728073
Showing my weapon to the Commissar.

>>53728073
I will be a little busy for a bit sciencing the fuck out of that wraithlord but good to see you too will>>53728064
He's a flesh tearer sir!

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>>53728064
sorry my laser is not regulation, the mud clogged my laser until it looked like that
the mud also made my lasgun incredibly focused and my armor immune to small ams

>>53728064
"THE BLOODY MARINES, unceasing machines of violence making the xenos fall dead"
>the angery roar lowers to a mumble before back to full volume

SEE

[Ironically my homebrew chapter. a chaos warband that only fights xenos]

>>53728088
COG MAN THERE IS ANOTHER ONE OF YOU, CAN I KILL IT?

>>53728041
Very good Astropath! Very good indeed, if a little outdated!

I sense no Chaos corruption from you!

>>53728046

Well, as long as you managed to make it here, Tech-priest Cog-Bouy.

>>53728051

Well, until you can retrieve yours, use somebody else's. I'm sure somebody here has died from some kind of accident... Try looking near one of those steam vents! I'm sure one of our boys lost his life the way of the Lobster!

>>53728096
CAN I KILL YOU NOW? AXEI SAID IT WANTED A SUCCULENT MEAL OF PYKICK ENERGY, I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, BUT HE THEN SAID KILL A WHITCH SO CAN I KILL YOU NOW?

>>53728134
No. You could try and kill the little witches screaming in your skull.

>>53728116
i found my nametag, the scion who stole it was unfortunately killed by an ork assassin, but the nametag was found in his hand

all i found in the steam vents were a set of respmask arrays and a deepstriking kit

Mister Commisar, I 'ave a gun from back home. Can I use it instead of the Lasgun?

>>53728150
WITCHES IN MY HEAD? GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT.
> I then procced to hit my head against a leman russ battle tank, denting the armour plating

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>>53728116
Oh yeah, f-field kit. H-here.
>from a battered holster he pulls a hotshot laspistol, connected to a small backpack supply below his vox unit
>it looks far more expensive than he could afford, if little battered

>>53728100
Understandable trooper Ironwall! I hear that the mud on this Hive world has some very unique properties too it!

>>53728105

The 'Bloody Marines' you say? While I cant say I've heard of such a Chapter. I must say, that their name sounds quite loyal indeed! Good work on using the name of such an unknown Chapter, for your disguise, Captain! The enemy will be so confused, trying to figure out what Chapter you're from, that they'll never realise that you aren't actually an Astartes! This sort of tactical genius, is putting you on the fast track to a promotion!

> after a few minutes of doing so, I get up from the face plate moulded armour and look around

ARE THE WITCHES GONE?

>>53728180
I do believe the tank is not sharp enough a tool for that.
>The little of his face that is visible behind the metal plate nailed to his skull contorts into a smug smile

>>53728197
do our enemies for the day have any shiny looking weapons that look very powerful?
i want to get a good look at them

>>53728152
Ah, very good trooper! Killing an Original, we didn't even know existed! True heroism in the field, I'll tell you that!

>>53728181
Excellent work, Corporal! A well modified piece of equipment, if a little battered!

Now then! I want you to check and see how Squad Seven from forth platoon I'd fairing! They're supposed to be scouting up ahead!

In the meantime, we shall continue this Field kit inspection!

>>53728221
I KNOW I WILL USE THE SHIP

>walking over to the ship I stagger slightly before repeating the mantra and again repeatedly bashing my head into the hull armour. making a dent but not as big as the mutilated tanks

>>53728243
Mister Commisar, may I use a gun from back home? I ain't comfortable with usin' this one.

>>53728236
No... In all likelihood, the enemy is using far more spikey, and blood covered versions of our own, glorious equipment. As befits those foul, traitorous guardsmen!

>>53728252
I would recommend a chainaxe, power fist or a gun, but I do think that will suffice for now.

>>53728252
Captain! I know not what sort of ritual you are doing, to generate the immortal Emperor! But it must stop, NOW! That's our only Valkyrie! And considering how difficult it is to maneuver one of those in an Hive city, I suggest you not do anything to worsen it's pilot's chances!

>>53728274
ARE THE WITCHES GONE?
>I stagger about before roaring and punching the dirt.. with my head. then get up completely fixed

ARE THEY?

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>>53728273
i found this in the armory, i dispatched a pink looking chaos marine trying to steal it with my new lasgun, and i managed to hook it up to my energy backpack
holding my two guns at once really clears the cultists from the yard

>>53728295
PUNY MAN, THE WITCH TOLD ME THERE WERE MORE WITCHES IN MY HEAD, SO I HIT THEM OUT, APPARENTLY THEY WILL COME BACK

>again axei sighs and what sounds like crying comes from the wepon

>>53728300
No. Hitting them with a chainaxe or a boltgun should do that, but they should be rather dizzy for a good while after such a shaking.

>>53728319
Well, remove these "Weecheez" somehow else Captain!
>>53728304
>The man's eye twitches at this point.

You shall not use that foul Chaos weaponry! It will corrupt us all trooper! Drop It right now, and burn your equipment, lest it's unholy taint infect you!

>>53728370
CAN I BURN IT CAN CAN I PLEASE? PLEASE CAN I BURN IT...OH CAN I BURN HIM TOO PLEASE?

>>53728370
This is why I woke up this morning...
>Drinks his Nutri-Slurry noisily through a straw

>>53728384
Only once he has removed his tainted equipment, Captain!

Should he not. Then you are free to burn him, and his foul, tainted body, in order to purify him!

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>>53728370
as you wish commissar, it was ruining my ears through the helmet anyway

>hefts a weapon as large as himself
i will melt it immediately with this weapon i found in the inquisitors trailer

>>53728394
Of course this is the reason you woke up, Astropath! Who wouldn't wish to wake up every morning, to purge the mutant, the Xeno, and the heretic, for the glory of our mighty Emperor!

>lighting a match as big as the commissar, I grin with glee and jump up and down

DONT PUT YOUR GUN DOWN, NO DONT DO IT YOU WANT THE WEOPN SO I CAN BURN YOU

>>53728400
An inquisitor!?! Here!? This is madness! Get rid of that thing, before he finds out, damn you!

>>53728414
PUNY MAN COG MAN SAID SOMETHING ABOUT FISHHEADS AND CHAOS ON THE SOUTH SIDE OF THE PLANET, CAN WE KILL THEM PLEASE. FUCKING FISHHEADS DONT FIGHT IN MELEE I WANT TO TEAR THEM LIMB FROM LIMB

>>53728400
>It seems the Astropath is choking in his drink, as some of it escapes through his nostrils... Which causes further sputtering from the now laughing man as his mask stops the liquid from escaping, slowing its flow to a trickle as he constantly spits more

>>53728427
>throws both guns into a pile
i shall just destroy both these guns with my meltabomb then

i am told the inquisitor is disguised as a rogue trader, so watch out for people looking for strange deals

>>53728441
Soon Captain! Soon we shall purge the Traitors of this world, so that the Emperor's light, may shine upon it once more!

>I back hand the pyker, sending him on his bum

STOP SPITING EVERYWHERE ITS UN HYGENIC AND NURGALITE YOU FILTHY WITCH.
>>53728452
I WANT TO DO IT, LET ME DO IT PLEASE

>>53728466
Yes Captain. Go ahead! Show these men the true face of loyalty, and purity!

>>53728466
>Struggles to catch his breath
Ow... Hitting an eyeless man like that... Ow.

>>53728265
I would prefer you not. But you're likely going to, aren't you...

such tech-heresy make me shiver

if you want to find me i'll be at the leman russ for the daily check

>>53728464
NOT PUNY HUMANS>>53728046
COG MAN SAID THESE FOOLS

>>53728606
UMM ABOUT THAT TANK COG BOY

>>53728606
mind if i take that tank out for a spin?

dont worry, i will make sure to return it twice as shiny as when i found it

>>53728485
FINALY
> dancing around the wepons, I crunch them under my feet and drop my match on the metals making it rear up with a special oil that smells like a astates beer

BURN, BURN BURRRRRRNNNNNNNN

>>53728611
what about it ?
>>53728627
no the russ stay where it is, we cannot afford giving away our only tank for "a spin"

>>53728646
WELL ONE SIDE OF THE TANKS ARMOUR HAS CAVED IN FROM BLUNT FORCE, I MAY HAVE MADE IT DO THAT BUT I HAD TO GET THE WITCHES OUT OF MY HEAD

>>53728663
................................................................................................................................................................
give me one of your finger

>>53728692
TRY AND TAKE IT LITTLE MAN
>axei reves in excitement and I stalk closer to the engineer

FINALY I CAN KILL SOMETHING

>>53728707
no need, i have it already
>turn his back, going to the leman russ
the machine spirit need to be appeased for your damage done

>>53728707
try not to mess around too much
my lasgun can pierce power armor, and the commissar wouldnt like it if i took home another trophy today

but try not to ruin the cogboys servo-arm, it looks like it would make a good powerfist

>>53728747
WHAT?
>I count my fingers in confusion
ONE TWO TREE NINETEEN, SEVENTYSIX, UMM WHAT COMES AFTER THAT AXEI?

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>>53727323
Presenting my weapon for Field Inspection Sir!

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>>53728511
Sir, tis' gun is one of the best there is! I got it from mah pa, he got it from his an' it goes all the back to 19 generations!

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>>53728770
technicae of the Ryza school : the Vulkite Punch

AAAATATATATATATATATATATATATATTAATATA

you don't know it yet but you're already dead

>>53728857
YOU CONFUSE ME METAL MAN, DIE
>I swing the roaring axe at the beings chest, but only manage to shear of a mechendrite, due to forgetting his inferior hight

>>53728511
Good news, sir! I have established contact with Squad Seven, and received the following message from the sergeant: *ahem* 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA' *cough* 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'. This message was followed by a loud revving, then a s-sort of splattering sound.

>>53728885
>dodge
in 5 second all your limb will lose their strength

>>53728928
PUNY MAN THIS COG BOY IS BEING ANNYOING AND WONT DIE
PERMISSION TO USE A FLAMER?

>roaring as I finish my sentence, I bull rush the being screaming incoherently
DIE DIE DIE, HOW SHALL I BE A REAPER OF YOUR SOUL

>>53728957
4

>>53728969
3

>>53728969
>SPINING AROUND I SMILE
BY KHORNES GRACE I SHALL PERSERVE AND ENDURE, BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE
> reaching my flamer, I let a bout of swallowing flames leap at the beast, over the wide area infront of me

>>53728826
What pattern of lasgun is that, Trooper? I feel like I've seen it before. But I in all honesty can't remember...

>>53728850
Hmmm... I'm not sure if that is a authorized plasmagun pattern...

Where's a damn Tech-priest when you need one...

>>53728910

Aug, very good! It sounds like squad seven is doing rather well, based upon those sounds.

The Sergeant must be using his chainsword, to gloriously slaughter enemy patrols! We shall give them a few moments to themselves, so that they might enjoy the glory first hand!

>>53729009
>jump on his shoulders
2

>>53729035
THERE IS A TECH PREIST HERE PUNY MAN, HE IS TRYING TO KILL ME AND VICE VERSA

>>53729049
>bucking around like a made bull I his and spit trying to claw off the foolish being from my pauldrens

>>53729035
the techpriest is busy playing around with a chainaxe, sir

should I get their attention?

>>53729035
The Departmento Munitorum person who assigned it to me said it was the MagLite pattern sir.

>>53729063
1
ATTA
>do a karate chop on the neck of the berzerker

>continuing to thrash, I roar over my back

WHAT ARE YOU DOING COG-BOY TICKLES WILL NOT HELP YOU NOW

>jumping nearly three meters into the air, I land on my back, trying to crus hthe now thought of hetetek

>>53729085
Hmm.. fair enough, trooper Coque! Make sure that you keep it stocked with a fresh power cell, and keep it clean of muck.

by the way... Adam West (aka. batman) died today it seems...

>>53729078
Properly a good idea trooper! Can't let tech-heresy happen if we can stop it!

>>53729126
[shame about west, I hope he enjoys his vigil at the emperors side]

PUNY MAN HELP GET THIS PEST OFF ME, WITCH WILL YOU GET HIM OFF?

>>53729125
i see, you are now paralyzed heretic
>jump of the berzerker
>>53729035
you called ?

>>53729126
I found a plasma cannon in the back of a truck
maybe I can try to fire a warning shot
this new batch came with two firing modes, so it must be twice as valuable as my old one

>>53729144
>thrashing about my arms fall limp

I WILL TEAR YOUR SKULL FROM THE METAL YOU CALL A SKULL HERETEK

>sulking, I wait for my biology to get rid of the toxin

BLOODY AD MECH COG MAN GO GET RID OF COG BOY

>>53728957
>>53728928
ENOUGH I SWEAR I LEAVE TO WORK ON SCIENCE FOR 5 MINUTES I COME BACK TO FIND OUT NOT ONLY DID YOU ALL FORGET WHERE WE ARE GOING BUT ALSO ARE TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER
as I said earlier we are going Alterevis VII.which was invaded by orks only for the local genesteal cult to help fight them off and summon an hive fleet which woke up the necrons sleeping there and then a bunch of emperors children showed up to raid. Since then the situation has escalated as a dark eldar cabal has shown up to take advantage of the chaos and the level of blood shed has caused a minor warp rift spitting out some khornite tau.
good news though I have created a new remote controlled sentinel walker!
>its just the wraithlord with a sentinal frame welded around it

>yawns and stretches, flicking an lho only to replace it with another lho and scratching his head
Good morning, everyone! Or is it morning? Bah, I don't fucking care.
So, what horrid enemy are we fighting this time? Chaos? Xenos? The realisation this is all purposeless?

>>53729126
oops, dropped my name tag

if the plasma isnt bright enough, should I use its stun mode on them?
there is a switch here labelled A fire, which should stand for stun

>>53729126
Will do Sir! I am excited to get in the fray and fight for the glory of the Emperor!

>>53729180
COG MAN HE NO PLAY FAIR, THE COBOY USES DIRTY POISONS

>I manage to wave my hand as the toxin slowly filters out

A LITTLE HELP?

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>>53727323
BEEP
BOOP
BOOP?

>>53729213
it is no poison
it is advanced biology i hitted some of your body point makiing you paralized for a short moment
>>53729196
we'll see that in the test field
where exactly did you find that weapon ?

>>53729144
as a magos of the forge world Cyclotrathe I order you to stand down engineseer
>>53729176
astrartes please do not antagonize the good engineseer
>>53729235
hello kastellan are you lost? this is a guard regiment

>>53729245
ITS POISON AND THATS THAT
>I stick my tounge out....but of course its in the helm so you only hear a hmph noise

STILL..HELP PLEASE? I WANT TO KILL ANGERY FISH HEADS.

>>53729180
Tech-priest! We already dealt with that crisis two weeks ago!

I was told my your lessees, that you were busy with your various research projects, that I didn't wish to disturb you.

As for your new invention. I hope it isn't made through the use of tech heresy!

>>53729195

Worse trooper! We're fighting... Traitor Guardsmen!

CORPORAL VAN KLEEZ! CUE DRAMATIC MUSIC!

>>53729196
I wasn't even aware that plasma guns HAD a stun setting! You better not have commited tech heresy, trooper Ironwall!
>>53729176
Enough Captain! The enemy are just a few blocks up ahead! ... I think....

You will stem your holy rage until then!

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>>53729261
Beep... Boop? Boop beep?

>>53729261
alright magos, i am but an humble Engineseer
i've never heard of Cyclotrathe before where is it ?

>>53729261
YES COG MAN
>>53729270
YES PUNY MAN
I WILL BEHAVE AND STAY AWAY FROM THE STUPID CHEATING COG BOY, but not the pyker,
>getting up as the stupid ad mech effect wares off, I glare at the cog boy before hearing sounds of battle

>>53729291
>>53729261
What is that 'thing' Tech-priest Cog-Bouy? One of your experiments gone right?

>>53729270
.......... we fought off an dark eldar cabal, a chaos tainted tau army, a legion of traitor astartes, a hive fleet, a necron dynasty and a waghhhhhh?HOW?
>>53729298
in the coronid depths to the east of the cyclops cluster

>>53729312
WE DID EXTERMIN- EXTERMI- EXTERMINATU-.... BIG BOOM ON PLANET. axei helped me count up to 13 brutal massacers

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>>53729305
Beep beep! Boop!
Booooop!

>>53729312
The same way we fight all of the Emperor's foul enemies, Tech-priest! Through the copious use of my tactical ingenuity and brilliance. Along with throwing ungodly amounts of men at the problem! Just as any good commander should!

>>53729305
show respect ! it is a marvelous creation of the adeptus mechanicus
it must have lost his datasmith
poor thing

>>53729305
its a Kastellan, a giant robot solider which are typically assigned to armys of the adeptus mechanicus
not sure what its doing here.
It should be with some skittarii

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>>53727323
Private Rick Grey of the heavy weapons platoon reporting as...
>He looks confusedly at Infected world eater beserker
Am I in the right place?

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>>53729342
>>53729355
Boop beep....

>>53729325
I shall name you....
Phillip.

>>53729342
I show respect when it has been earned, Tech-priest! Not when you demand it off me!

Now! Can you access it, and have it fight alongside us? Or are you going to let such an obvious tactical advantage slip from this regiment's fingers?

>>53729355
CAN I PET IT COGMAN PLESE CAN I PET IT?

WAIT I HERE COMBAT RIDE ROBOT RIDE
>I jump on the robots shoulders and try to steer it by pulling its head the way I want to go

FOLLOW ME QUARDSMEN OR I SHALL HAVE YOU SACRIFICED ONWARDS!!
>>53729364
YES WARP STAIN NOW MOVE MOVE MOVE

>>53729364
yes this is a guard regiment. thats just a flesh tearer that got somewhat lost. hes quite the fighter

>>53729364
Ah, the new replacement for Private Dunbell! Welcome trooper!

As for if this is the proper regiment you were assigned to... Do your papers happen to be missing g the name of your assigned regiment? If so, than this is your new regiment!

>>53729355

Well, as I have stated before, to your lesser. I suggest your team have a look at it, and see if you can't get it to follow our orders.

[this has been the best part of my week by far, its just that fun. I'm practically crying with laughter]

>>53729428
im waiting for someone to actually look Cyclotrathe up

>>53729389
A Flesh Tearer! Where!?

>He'd begin scanning the area for signs of chaos. His Bolt pistol in hand.

I shall tear the foul traitor apart, and cleanse him in holy bolter fire!

>>53729380
>>53729389
Well the Ministorum Priest say not to question...
>>53729424
>Salutes and falls in line... if there is a line.
Reporting as ordered. My assigned regiment was simply noted as *Corrupt Data* sir, I was sent here by administrator servitor 419767B sir!

>>53729442
Flesh Tearers are loyal sir! They are blood angels successors

>>53729442
I SHALL HELP YOU -I jank the robot towards the commissar, and lift him onto my back- FORWARD

>>53729436
shit its the head of the dark mechenicum

>>53729460
Then you are more than likely in the right place, trooper! As no one seems to know what the hell our regiment is anyways!

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Rearmed and Reporting in sir!

for myself i come from a biologis magos circle known as the schola of the north star

>>53729478
which doesn't officially exist top kek

>>53729471
Ah! My apologies! I must have confused them with the World Eaters!

>He'd lower his Bolt pistol.

>>53729497
you I like you, I will eviscerate you never.

anywho

>yanking the robots head again, I set off towards the sound of gun fire yelling a battle cry

"dEATH TO THE FISHHEADSSSSSSSSS"

>>53729512
the mistake has been made before sir. The flesh tearers are well infamous for being overly enthusiastic and careless of civilians in battle

>>53729488
Quite an antiquated weapons you have there, trooper! Was there not a lasgun available for you?

I was sure I had asked Quartermaster Greymane too order in extras...

>Returns, blood all over his face
I hate removing the faceplate... Always such a mess. What did I miss?

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++Here's mine sir, a device that I created after me and my buddies got real dru- I mean, after the Omnissiah spoke his wisdom to me, and blessed me with a most revolutionary technology++

>seeing that the rest of the forces had stopped, I tear the robots head off and jog back to the group

COMMISAR? THE ENEMY NEED KILLLING THE WITCH IS BACK, I AM BLOODTHIRSTY AND I STILL DONT LIKE ANY TECH PREIST APART FROM COGMAN, WHY CANT I KILL THEM NOOOOOWWWWWW?

>>53729554
astropath, return to a safe place we need someon to communicate with the other regiment

>>53729565
I'm not entirely sure WHAT it is I'm looking at. But if the Omnissiah blessed you with the knowledge to make it, than I cannot possibly question it's authenticity!

But I must ask... What exactly does it fire?

>>53729554
WITCH, THERE ARE CHAOS FISH HEADS SOMEWHERE NEAR WHERE ARE THEY?

>>53729549
It was the only thing they were willing to me give at the armory.

>>53729554
Nothing much, Astropath! We still have not found the foul Traitors, and their lair!
>>53729582
Soon Captain, soon! You must stay your hand, until we meet the enemy in battle! For you shall need all your wraith in order to fell these foul, traitors!

>>53729582
ahhh my astartes friend i have procured something for you, its an inferno pistol, which I understand your ancestors in blood angels where quite fond of, its basically a metla gun as a pistol.
the inferno pistol is also a tzeentch daemon weapon
>>53729627
step into my workshop guardsman, i can hook you up

>>53729601
++I... uh... extra anti heresy bullets? Yeah, that's it, extra anti heresy bullets++
>Begins sweating profusely

>>53729582
Um, sir what is a Chaos Fish head sir?

>>53729645
Can you make it fire knives?

>>53729666
no but you can have this hellgun

>>53729645
FIRE YAY FIRE,
>I RUN ROUND SHOOTING INTO THE AIR AS AXEI AND THE NEW MELA EXCHANGE A BREIF SIGH AND "is he always like this?" "yep but I managed to get him to count up to 13" "how long did that take" "7 hours and a exterminates" "Shit"

>>53729664
THEY CALL THEMSELVES CHAOS TAU, BUT THOSE GUTLESS WRETHCES OF CALIMARI SHALL DIE NOW FIND THEM OR BE THE FIRST TO DIE TO MEL

>>53729636
S-Sir, I hate to interrupt, but I've just had *cough* a p-pleasant chat with someone calling himself 'Draxxis the Skinripper' on 7 Squad's vox channel, who claims to have seized control of t-the area and eaten most of the unit.
Now I'm n-no tactician, but this seems like a g-good time to provide reinforcement.

>>53729655
Anti-heresy bullets...
....
>His one good eye would begin to twitch. While the blue light if his bionic eye would seem to fluctuate between 'on' and 'off'.

....

WHY HAVENT I BEEN GIVEN SUCH A USEFUL TYPE OF AMMUNITION!?! THIS IS RIDICULOUS! AM I NOT OF THE COMMISSARIAT!?!

Grrrrrrr....! I shall have to have the quartermaster, order some of this "Anti-Heresy" ammunition in for myself, when she has a chance! Thank you for notifying me of this!

>>53729733
YAYAYAYAY MURDER TIME WWWWWHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOO
LETS KILL
>I discharge mel repatedly
CAN WE KILL NOW..WHAT ABOUT NOW..NOW?

>>53729696
they will make him smart eventually

>>53729733
Very good, Corporal! Notify the men at once!

We shall tear apart this foul traitor, and those who follow his twisted, and evil ways! Lest he inspire others to rise up against the Emperor and his domain!

>>53729693
Oh, boy.
Its not even Sanguinalia..
I-
Thank you cogboy.

>>53729774
>seems
[eventualy, I am going to have him come out with the most level headed and tactical sentence, everyone is going to stop and just look at him like hes a..well world eater at an imperial guard fight]

>>53729585
I'd rather stay near the most guns... And as far as possibe from the priests as possible...
>>53729603
I am a telepath, not a diviner. Well, not that I am incapable of Divination, but rather weak with the Discipline... Regardless, I do not sense enemy presence, but that may well be because of Tau being so... Separate from the Warp.
>>53729636
Good, good. Clearly your competent plan has been to steer us to the most advantageous positions before engaging, considering how competent you are. Obviously it could not be a lack of proper scouting.

>>53729775
MURDER.

>yelling at the assembled guardsmen

ALL RIGHT YOU MISSERABLE LOT, THE COMMISAR HAS FOUND THE HERETICS, YOU WILL GO THERE AND KILL OTHERWISE I WILL KILL YOU ALL NOW MOVE

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>>53729636
I found this lying around sir what should I do with it?

>>53729828
don't give it to the marines

>>53729782
if it was sangunialia you would have a bolt gun right now

>>53729828
>>53729828
GIVE ME THAT
-I yank the hammer out of his hands-
YOU COULD HURT YOURSELF

>>53729807
Exactly! My genius plan is currently at work, at this very moment!

It's definitely not because the map command gave us of this section of the under hive, is 2000 years old, and obviously outdated!

>>53729828
++I want to do science to it++

COG BOY CATCH
>I toss him the large heavy hammer
LOOK OUR FOR THE ACTIVATION RUNE

>>53729828
is that a daemonhammer?
uhhhh are there grey knights around here?
>the magos is suddenly nervous

>>53729828
>>53729855

That's my personal Thunderhammer, "Legion's Fury", dammit! Where'd you get it from?
>He'd quickly take back his Thunder hammer!

I should shoot you for trying to use a Blood Ravens maneuver!

>>53729880
COG BOY, I NEED TO SLEEP. WAKE ME UP WHEN WE GET TO KILLING THINGS, AND TAKE PRISONERS. I WANT A CHEW TOY AND SPARING PARTNER PLEASE

[I need to charge up my tablet be back in a hour or so]

>>53729930
next time use ctrl+S to make spoiler tag

>>53729930
Chew toy?...
>Looks very confused.

>>53730013
I believe the good Captain is from a Feral world. Hence the strange mannerisms, and meanings behind his words.

Is it not beautiful, in its own, strange way?

>>53730148
Um, yes sir, I agree sir.
>Is even more confused

>>53730148
++Truly, the diversity of the God Emperor's chosen warriors brings an oily tear to my sight receptors++

>>53730265
As it should, Tech-priest!

The sight of one of the Emperor's own guardsmen, disguised in a fake suit of Astartes power armour, in order to cunningly deceive our goes into rbelivjng they are worthy enough to fight Space marines!

>>53730252

As you should, Trooper! As you should!

I'm back, and thanks for the info on how to use spoilers
>startling awake from my stand up sleep, I growl
WHAT GOING ON WHY DID I WAKE UP?

>>53730651
>Jumps, terrified.
We were admiring your beauty sir!
>Winces, just realizing what he said.

IS THAT SLANNESHI FILTH YOUR SPOUTING LITTLE MAN?

>my axe reves to life at the mention of the demon type

>>53730814
Calm down, big boy. I can't focus when you are screaming.

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Rawr

>>53730891
Hey astropath uhhhhh
the navigator just screamed SHADOWS IN THE WARP and then exploded......
are you ok?

>>53730891
BE QUIET WITCH MEL AND AXEI BOTH AGRE ETHEY WANT TO EAT YO-

>>53730903
BUGS? BUGS. HAHAHAHAHA TIME TO DIE INSECTS CHARRRGGGGGEEEEEEEE

>>53730914
COG MAN THERE BE BUGS, LET THE CLEANSING COMMENCE

>>53730914
We had a Navigator down here? Why the hell did we have a Navigator down here!?

Also. What's this I'm hearing about him screaming "Shadows in the Warp"?
>>53730916
And where the hell is our third company CO going!?

>>53730903
... Where did YOU come from?! Sheesh...
>>53730914
Depends on what you call okay. Not that different from my pilgrimage, to say the least.
>>53730916
Yes, yes, distract yourself with the bugs.

>stomping and firing and burning and warp fire is my next few minutes as I enjoy myself purging the insects for the cog man and I end in a shower of icor

HAHAHA LET THE BLOODLETTING COMMENCE COME PUNNY MAN LET US KILL

>>53730957
i'll get out the pyroclasts

>>53730997
Well, I suppose such a thing, was bound to happen...

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>>53730962
Rawr

>>53730997
>creeps up behind and begins scooping the ichor off him and into a small pot while giggling maniacally

>>53731049
everything fine guys its just a large insectoid guardsman not a tyranid

Holy Emperor!
>Seeing the insects he levels his meltagun and fires.

>>53731051
>grabbing the human, I glower at him at my eye level kept that hight by one hand, while my other uses mel to fend off the bugs

WHAT ARE YOU DOING GUARDSMAN?

>>53731122
he's a chem dog, he's making drugs

>>53731122
Uh, *cough* h-hello Captain, I was just, um... collecting samples. Yes. For research. That's what I was doing.
>he looks sheepish, and fumbles the pot into a coat pocket

>>53731150
>growling in contempt, I bark a few short words

NO DRUGS, NO SLANNESHI, NO FORGIVNESS

>twisting, I hurl the guardsman into the guanr swarm

BE USEFUL

>>53731171
[see this post]

>>53731049
Oh god-emperor.

>wading after the guardsmen, my chain axe sings in the gore an verceral and on occasion witch fire bursts from the axe.

COME ON YOU WORTHLESS HINDS, IF NONE OF YOU KILL A SINGLE BUG EACH I WILL HAVE YOU GIVEN THE THREE STIKE PUNISHMENT WITH MY CHAIN AXE. THE SECRET IS ON THE THIRD TIME, THE AXE IS ON WHEN IT HITS YOU

>>53731183
>utilizing mechadendrites he catches the poor chem dog
look guardsmen if you are starving for drugs you can just ask your friendly neighborhood magos biologis

>>53731049
>He'd take notice of the helmet and lasgun of what was OBVIOUSLY an Abhimanyu, and would proceed to put his Bolt pistol away.

Everything's fine men! This is just-

>He'd notice a torn up name tag stuck in the "man's" mouth, that would obviously belong to him.

Private Hamounds!

>>53731150
C'mon man, don't rat me ou-

>>53731183
uUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>53731226
AAAAAAAAAAAAaoh, hello again my man. Wouldya mind concentrating this for me with one of them fancy gadgets of yours?
>he waves the pot of ichor

>>53731239
NO DONT YOU DARE, DONT YOU DARE SAY I CANT KILL IT. DONT YOU BY THE GODS DARE

>>53731289
sure but while your waiting im got some drugs from Commorragh that maybe youd be willing to test for me?

By the way. Two things that you guys should probably know.

First of all; if people want to, I'll make a thread tomorrow.

Second of all, next Saturday, I'll be an hour or so late for starting up thread. As I'll be going out and getting my 8th edition starter box, and trading my death guard for more primaris marines. Thread will still happen, I'll just be late to start it up. You guys can feel free to start it at the usual time if you want to though.

>>53731289
I love how no matter what stupid shit I do, this fucking magos is almost incapable of letting it get worse. this is alphred to a retarded bat man. good job mate. are any of these recorded in the archives?

LAST BUG DEAD PUNNY MAN

>>53731316
of course we want it

>>53731299
What's this im hearing about "Commorragh"?
>He'd have his hand upon his Bolt pistol.

>>53731291
No Captain! You can't kill one of our own. Not without a proper reason, such as cowardice!

>>53731299
>somehow, despite the large respirator in the way, you know the man is grinning broadly
Hehehe*hack* yeah, yeah I'd be willing to 'test' them for ya, buddy. Throne above, those spiky bastards gotta have some good shit, lookin' at how they fight.

>>53731334
on 4 plebs, yes http://archive.4plebs.org/_/search/text/Field%20kit%20inspection/

>>53731334
the magos want to see if he exposes the khornite to enough tzeentchian stuff he can make the khornite a tzeenthican sorceroer
>>53731344
we were just talking about those dark eldar raiders you destroyed so handily earlier
>>53731353
meet me in my workshop?

>>53731374
>His hand would rest upon the grip of his Bolt pistol. His eyes narrowed upon the Tech-priest, and the chem-dog radio operator.

.......

Very well...

>>53731374
Whenever ya ready, you know where to find me.

>>53731334
I got the first one, but the other ones have dropped before I could get them: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/53593459/

>>53731444
BRILLAINT
lets start with something I acquired after beating the shit out of a wych cult with my bare metal hands: Hypex.
This should make the world seem to be in slow motion, allowing to react incredibly quick but also just you know having the world be slow mo

>>53731495
This drug sounds highly suspicious...

But at the same time, it sounds like it could grant our troops a tactical advantage... Hmm....

....


Carry on you two!

>>53731581
COMMISSAR, I HAVE RUN OUT OF THINGS TO KILL, FIND SOME TROOPER FOR ME TO MURDER PELASE

>>53731599
Have you already killed the traitor guardsmen two blocks to the south of us? I'm impressed Captain! But I must know... Howany casualties were there?

>>53731636
>>53731599
according to my auspex there is around 500 traitor astartes of the emperors children legion approximately 10 clicks to the east

>>53731495
*approving rawr*

>>53731636
100% loyalist termination
93%traitor trmintion
7% traiter captured for the use of captin MUR

>the words float from the axe and gun repsectivly

MORE ASTATES? YES GO LET US RIDE
>I run off down the road with a sound of "will he ever think about things?" "nope"

>>53731673
Well, then! I believe this is a fight worth our regiment's attentions!

CORPORAL VAN KLEEZ!!!

>>53731705
we might want to get out ear protection. I estimate a 75% chance of noise marines

>>53731719
Even better!

WHERE THE HELL IS CORPORAL VAN KLEEZ!?

WHERE ARE MY REENFORCEMNTS?
>I drop the head I had snapped as I called out, then turned again and cut off a leg of a noise marine and I spit on him before moving on

FUCKIN SLANESHIIS

>>53731784
>>53731705
J-Just a minute sir, lemme just-

>>53731495
>he attatches it to a port on his respirator and breathes deeply
e m p r a h ' s d i c k t h i s i s s o m e g o o d s h i t

>>53731933
Go sentinel walker go
>he pulls out some sort of remote control and begins remotely piloting the sentinel walker I.E wraithlord towards the ballet

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>>53731990
let me have some....Oh wow
>his face when it kicks in:

>>53731990
++Are you guys doing drugs over there? Uh... can I have some?++

>>53732033

s̨͎͔͚̩͙̺̣͉ͬͩ̋ͯͨͣͪ͟u̢̝̠̟̖̠̣̭͋̓̽̽̾̍̕r̨͉͔̙͎̃͒̓̋ͦ̐̏͟͡e͍̔̌̊ͫ͟ ̦̼͍̪̦̜̟̘ͣͪ̎̔̈́͝ḥ͇ͯͭ̑̃̋a̸̦͔ͨ̈ͩ́v̮̝͚̺ͭ͊́͒̏̔ĕ̟̟ͪ ̜̳͑̈̌̍̑̉ṣ̷̻̜̼̞͉̗̂̾̇̃ͦͫ͐͌͜ö͕̞̰̯͇̝̖̳́̑͠m̷̻̤͙͇̩̀ͬ́ͨͯ̐e͎͈̘͐̎ͮͫ̂̂͑̕͜ ̵̰̬̘̌̈͂͑̄̔͢h̢͇͔͌̀͘y̷͔̦̳̩͔͓ͦͮͬ̏́͋̓͌͘ͅp̮̹̙̤͙̗̿ē̷̫̞̖̹͚ͪ̀x̨̯͔̬͐̏͂̎͗͋͘ ͈͙̂̉ͩ͐̄̉
̸̡͉͓̪̯̊̍̌̆̓̔͢i̧̮̪̼̣͓̖̝̤͛͊͒̐͆͂t̰̗͔̝̼̀ͭ͑̉̚͝͡ͅş̸̖̞͉͍̊͌̃ͯͩ ̶̡̗̝̬̘̻̳ͬ̾̊̆ͩ́m̻̃̉͠a͔̞͔ͯ̇͂̀k̶̯͔̘̥̥͓̉̾͊͒ͪ͒̍͗̈͢ͅe̼͓ͪ͆̈́̕ ̼͈̣̍ť̵̝͇̮̩͐ͫ́̚ḩ̨̳͗̌̊͂̒͋͌e̺͓̱ͮ͐ͨ̉ͯ ̫̠͖͌ͦ̓̌w͙̫̹̹̣̺̣ͯ́̈̇ö̝̺̩͇͓̝́͂̂ͤ̊ͅr̷̜̼͖̻̥̩̖̃̃ḻ̺̣̻̻́́ͫ̀̇͟d̨̨͖͕̜͖̥͑ͧ̊͑͒̊̄̈͘ ̣͉̪̠̜͔̍ͣ̂s̳̤̳ͯ͗͋̂͛̈͗̎ľ̘̟̠̖̣͈̑̿́̌̕͜o̧̨̞̍̓͛͑ͣ̚w̼̳̦͂͛͞ ̵̷̡̠̝̬ͩ̓m̡̦̝̠͔̂̊ͩͨ̍̋̂̚ǒ̻̽ ̟͎̞̋͗͌̉̀f̵͇͈̞̼̬͎̀̔͗ͮr̭̼̚͝ͅo̮͇͔̤̙̱ͩm̢̨̱̘̜̈ͦ̚͡ͅ ̧͉̰͓̘̬̰͚̜̔͆̓͆ͯ͜͡y̱̤̰͒͑͌̔̎̚̕̕ŏ̢͖̯͕u̖͔̬̣͓ͪ͑̉́̓͌͡r͇̩͛͑ͪ́̔͡ ͙̐́̎͒͊͜p͍̣̮̬͚͆̂͡e̴̡̤͓̞̹̖̼͖̓ͬ̽͋r͎̯̱̟͆͊ͯ͞c̝̮̬̣̗̬̗̝̒̇̾͐ͯe̶̢̮̭̳̖͉̱̭̖͌ͣͮͨ͢p̦͎̰̜̎ͪ͊͛̉̔̓̾ț̨͈̥̺͓ͮ͐͝ͅi̯̘͚͔͇̖̦͉̿ō̷̫̞̤͔̏n͖͈̪͙ͮ̇ͅ ̧̡͍͎̞̟͙̀̈́ͅ

>>53731933
>Bolter rounds are sent flying in various directions, as the Commissar takes aim at the foul traitors! His Thunderhammer slamming painfully into anything that gets too close to him.

OS THIS THE BEST THAY THE GODS HAVE CHAOS CAN THROW AT US! FOR SHAME!

>finishing half the attacking force, I growl as I get knocked down by the force of a sonic cannon. painfully I get to my feet

FOR THE BLOOD GOD CHARGE

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>>53731933
*reinforcement growl*

>>53732047
++Excellent, this is gonna get me fuc- uh I mean it'll be a worthy test of my hardware, in response to chemical elements!++

>attaches it to an air intake port, and the sound of whirring fans is emitted from his chest

++Woah... I think it's hitting me bruh++

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9ZQgaHpM9I
>this sound begins emitting from his voicebox, and he starts waving his mechadendrites around in the air
++By the Omnissiah++

>>53732127
the regiments fighting 500 traitor astartes and the techpriests are just hanging back getting high as fuck
top kek
its good to be a tech priest

>>53732117
that picture, fucking kek!
>The thundering of hundreds of feet, causes the Commissar, to spin about, right after sending a Heretic flying into a wall with his Thunderhammer.

It's ABOUT TIME reinforcements arrived! We almost didn't leave any for the rest you!

What were you all doing? Getting high or something?

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>>53731636
Sir! I found this in a bombed out Rhino, what should I do with it?

>>53732171
It's a hard life, but someone's gotta live it

>sent to a knee, I growl and leap at the last noisemarine in my grasp and snap his neck then I fall to the ground..unconsious

>>53732207
thats a multi metla! use it to take out that chaos rhino over there

>>53732207
How do you keep FINDING THESE THINGS!?!
>>53732255
>As the last of the traitor Astartes is laid low, Knochenmus would cast a glare towards the rest of the regiment, getting baked off its asses, as sweat pours down his face.

I swear to the Emperor! Someone is getting blammed later!

>>53732310
++Woah, like, just... chill out my man. Here, try some of this slow mo shit, it's good, I swear++

>waves the canister of hypex vaguely in the commissar's direction

>lay in a heap upon several corpses in a perfect circle of the noise marines, I manage to lift my gun to the sky, and fire off a shot

"FOR THE GODS SAKE help..feth help.."

>>53732365
Worry not astartes I am a medicae
it is time for medical drugs

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>>53732349
>The Commissar would lower his head, as he glares at the Tech-priest, offering him the narcotics.
>He'd stroll up to him, before eplacing his hand upon his pistols grip, and drawing it from its holster.
>A moment later, the barrels would be smoking, as two shots ring out, in the lower hive streets.
>The two shots, have impacted into the Tech-priest's kneecaps.

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>>53732234
*gleeful rawr*

>a brief spice of adrenaline sparked by the gunshots, I get up and back hand the bug

BACK OFF YOU BIG COCKROACH

>>53732409
uh sir....I don't mean to be rude but that stuff was really hard to get and was a very potent combat stimulant

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>>53732310
Sir! I found this buried under some rocks, what should I do with it?

>>53732388
Oi! Youse gits see any Celestial Loins around ere? I'm lookin for em, for a friend

[YOU KNOW THE THREAD TOOMOROW? I ACTUALY WANT SOME CHAR DEVELPMENT SO ILL BE THINKING]

>>53732503
01001000 01001111 01001100 01011001 00100000 01000110 01010101 01000011 01001011 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01010011 01001000 01001001 01010100 00100000
>>53732409
SIR CALL THE INQUISITION RIGHT NOW
>>53732505
no sorry

>glowering in rage as I limp back to the commissar, I yell at the top of my abused vocal cords] "WHAT YOU SAYING YA GRETCHIN GIT? ILL CRUMP YA I WILL"

>>53732511
>Development of a khornate berserker
Perhaps today you'll focus on the patella yah git.

>>53732505
link this to this>>53732537
>>53732539
COME DOWN HERE YA COWARDLY SNOT OR STAY UP THERE AND BE UN-ORKY

>>53732537
FOCKIN GROTS ILL FUCKIN KRUMP YAH.

>>53732503
I don't even know what that thing is! Just uh.... Put it back where you found it. Probably isn't useful in anyway, whatsoever.
>>53732505
No trooper. Just Emperor's Children traitor marines.
>>53732511

character development is good. I like the idea.

>>53732485
We already have ONE Chem-Dog! We don't need half a regiment more, becoming them!

>>53732409
++Aw geez man, those were expensive knees++

>reving Axei and aiming mel, I cackle much like the demons within,
come try me grot, I'm waiting
>and I open fire at this sniper

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>>53732503
*Terrified rawr*

>>53732570
uh sir that is the the emperor's sword
like literaly
how did it get here i dont know
but we might want to give it to the eclisarcy or someone

Rolled 1 (1d6)

>>53732570
Ok then boss, LETS GIT LOOTIN
>runs into dierection
>>53732590
>throws down sniper and charges at the berserker.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>53732583
Next time, I'll make it cheaper and aim for the head.
>>53732590
>>53732555
And now this is happening!

Rolled 1 (1d6)

>>53732623
>grinning I take aim and let fly

WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH

>>53732623
come on I WASN'T EVEN SHOOTING
>>53732638
THANK MORK!!

Rolled 2 (1d10)

[ummm shit]

>as my plasma bolts miss, I holster the wepons and run at him [a limping run] and engage in hand to hand

[okay 1d10]

>>53732638
>>53732623
fucking kek! Its like watching an ork, and a beserker getting into a sissy fight right now.
>STOP IT!
>NOZ! YOUZ STHOP ITZ, YEAH GIT!

>>53732503
FIRE!!!! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!

>>53732648
we are going to end up the best of friends after this arnt we?]

COME ON YA GROT?
>my swings wide they inflict little damage

>>53732664
how about using a D20 instead? 11 and up is a hit, with a higher number, corresponding to a more damaging hit?

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>53732727
NOW THIS YA GROT

FOR KHORNE

Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>53732664
>swipes at the berker with his powah choppa
WAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH!!!
>>53732703
I sure hope so

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>>53732678
*helpful rawr*

>>53732742
AHHH!!!!!
A FREAK!!

Rolled 9 (1d20)

using my axe, I flip the choppa away, but fall back from a wild swing

NOT BAD FOR A SNOTLING

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>53732741
BUT
FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE
>backslashes the Khornate
Taste the blade of Gork!
>following with a shallow swing
Or was it Mork?
>>53732766
>THAT 9
NOT BAD FOR A WALKIN TIN CAN

Rolled 11 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>53732781
>Recoiling from the blow, I go with a double spin hit with my axe from left to rich top to bottom

GUESS WHAT ORK, THY ARE THE SAME THING BUT SAID DIFFERENTLY [xenos mind blown]

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>pummling him in the nose, I step back

take it xenos

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>>53732760
*offended rawr*

>dropping to the ground, I growl then..i laugh

you are a worthy combatant xenos, fancy duelling along side us? and causing havoc for you personal amusement?

>>53732803
>>53732824
LOW BLOW TIN CAN,
IF YOUR BOSS COULD SEE YAH NOW I BET HE'D BE DISAPPOINTED AT YUR LACK OF HONUR
>Bitch slaps
That that humie!

>>53732889
yeah he's fine

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>53732894
My bad yah git we ain't done yet, but it seems your warpboyz is playin with my 'ead again, tell da gits to lay off or I'll show em to my boss TUSKA!
Now foight humie

>>53732760
That's just private Hamounds! I think he's one of the cooks?

>>53732972
>he's one of the cooks
HES THE ONLY COOK YAH GIT!

>>53732981
Quiet trooper! Or your brains will be where your feet are!

>Is hiding behind the troops
back again to continue being mysterious, useless and mysteriously useless... And a prick, obviously.

>>53733005
>Is about to say something then
>Looks at the size of his hat.
Ok boss

>>53732889
This is too fucking good.

>>53732937
>he looks up at the brawl, having huffed half the canister of hypex
Man, that's the solution - just get the heretics and the xenos to fight eachother! I can't b-believe we didn't *huff* think of this sooner.

>>53732503
Are you drawing these? They're dope as hell.

>>53733070
psst the commisar may have taken out the hypex but i've got some spook if you want to try that

File: IsThisYours.png (146 KB, 640x480)

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>>53733005
Does this belong to you? I found him wandering around with several Astartes Artifacts.
>>53733070
Yes I am the one drawing these,
thanks

>>53733135
hello space marine yes he does.... he found the emperors sword do you know what we should do with it?

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>>53732972
*aggreement growl*

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177 KB PNG

Sorry I am late, Commisar! I was being issued this new weapon!

>>53733105
>he unscrews one of the tubes on his mask and hands it to the cogboy
You got it, I'll have it, man. J-Just screw it right in here.

>>53733193
actually wait a second let me check the side effects.......
you know what lets not take spook, unless you really want to be a psyker

>>53733135
Unfortunately, yes he does, Mi'Lord.

>He'd take the trooper from the Astartes hands, by his throat.

>>53733184
Dammit Major! You're three hours are for the inspection!
>>53733177
So....what exactly ARE you cooking?

>>53733205
Did I f-fucking stutter? Wait, don't *wheeze* answer that.
Come on, just a t-taste. I got a mate in N-Necromunda that swears by that stuff.

>>53733281
I'm sorry Sir! You know how the quartermaster is!

>>53733318
right then have some spook
and have this book
> the tile is Inquistor Quixos' guide to sanctioning yourself manually

>>53733349
>>53733318
and be very very careful...tiny doese mate unless you want to explode with warpy stuff

>>53733281
*biomass rawr*
*with a hint of grox rawr*

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>>53733281
*all done rawr*

>>53733378
>>53733430
Ah, I see!

...
...
...

Wait... What do you mean by 'biomass'?
>>53733337
I'm not entirely sure what you mean by that. Did she do something wrong?