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Humans arrive on Earth with presumably peaceful intentions. Unfortunately, shortly after first contact they find out humans do something which by their mindset is so completely, unspeakably, horribly abhorrent it makes them shift gears to trying to conquer the world like Europeans out to end human sacrifice and cannibalism in the Americas.

What was it that triggered them?
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>>60145928
>humans arrive on Earth
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>>60145928
>What was it that triggered them?

They witness human shitposting on the Internet, maybe?
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>>60145928
>humans arrive on earth
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>>60145928
My dad's Google history
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>>60145945
Welp, deleted the wrong part of the first sentence. There goes the thread.
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>Humans arrive on Earth
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>>60145928
Oh, about a million things.

- They find that humans kill or torture members of their own species
- They find that humans exterminate, enslave and devour less intelligent sapients without a good reason
- They find that humans have no form of individual or species-wide immortality, and furthermore consider it heretical or foolish to pursue something like that.
- They find that humans knowingly waste non-renewable resources on ephemeral pleasures or artifacts of dubious utility, and plan on doing the same to any planetary object they can reach
- They find that humans often destroy accumulated knowledge out of spite, irrational fears or plain neglect
- They find that humans try to put their dicks in everything, or will shove anything up their orifices

>like Europeans out to end human sacrifice and cannibalism in the Americas
Yeah, that's totally what happened.
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Factory farming.
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>>60145928
>>humans arrive on Earth
sorry for no valuable input
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Humans have no means of sustainable resource usage on a global scale. Our populations surge unchecked.
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>>60146281
>Yeah, that's totally what happened.

I'm sure at least, like, three of them were motivated by that. In part.
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>>60145928
http://clarkesworldmagazine.com/watts_01_10/
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>>60145928
I can see clearly now, a painful vision indeed
An attack on hallowed ground, from high above
Alien to us, the species known as man
A serious threat, in the eyes of the Elder

So heed my warning, before our own existence falls near extinct
Our culture is lost in ancient mystery, covered in the sands of time

A sacred few survive the massacre this night
In secret they will meet a new society

Ten thousand years from now, a child will be born
I've seen the vision, the writing on the wall
He'll walk the Earth, two thousand years or more
Paving the way, for mankind's fall

So there is hope you see, but we must act with great speed
Assemble the chosen, the ones to lead, and morph them in the likeness of man

Oppressed for centuries, await the prophecy
The child will set us free, reclaim it rightfully

We'll take their identity and live among them free
All the while, plotting events that mold their history
We'll build the perfect beast with the knowledge that they seek
If it takes ten thousand years, we never will retreat

Assassins we will be, through human history
Jesus Christ to Kennedy, the Domino Decree
Disciples of the Watch, prepare the coming curse
If it takes ten thousand years, we never will retreat

And so, our world is doomed, we'll lay claim again some day
There is hope, in the birth of one, so many centuries away
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>>60146601
Seen a movie like that.
>humanity on their typical course of destroying the planet
>aliens set out to purge all humans with nano swarm/giant robot
>human asks why and aliens tell them the aliens almost destroyed their own planet in the same way
>human says humanity will learn the same lesson the same way
>aliens leave and shut off all electronics, car, etc on earth, probably killing hundreds of thousands in hospitals
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>>60145928
Ah, a "Baby Eating Aliens" problem in reverse.

>Aliens are photosynthetic and find the idea of consumption or use of any living thing, plant or animal, grown or natural, to be abhorrent. Demand humanity alter themselves to process only inorganic material
>Aliens have an extremely rigid caste system, with differing castes being phenotypically separate. The complete mess that is human phenotypes, their constant interbreeding, social mixing, and mobility is abhorrent to them on the level of finding a society that saw no problem with bestiality They don't have any opinions on which phenotypes should be which caste, before someone calls /pol/ on me
>The aliens digitized their minds so long ago that the very idea of having fleshy bodies is abhorrent, and offer to help humanity ascend
>The aliens are highly polished crystals that form their intelligence by refracting light through controlled growth. They are very uncomfortable with not being able to see through humans. Even worse when they discover the amount of dust and dirt in the air,with no effort to scrub it
>The aliens rapidly regenerate lost body parts. Customarily they consume a small extremity from each other as greeting and a show of trust. This is deeply engrained in their culture such that NOT eating someone who offers has moved armies. They've never seen a human eat any part of another. When they discover that humans don't eat their dead they collectively turn apoplectic.
>Aliens are slow breeding solitary creatures that communicate over vast differences. The tightly packed human cities look like conditions worse than a feedlot to them.
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>>60145928
They find out that humans are not native to Earth and were a creation of the alien race known for being the amoral scourge of the universe.

It's a campaign I've wanted to run for a long time.
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>>60148775

That was movie where NeoTed was an asshole alien telling a Hamfisted faggot SJW story that logically ends with humanity stuck in the iron age forever because aliens "took electricity ' from the world. At least I know the one person that saw it now
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>>60145928
They land in France and discover foie-gras. Luckily it leads to infighting on an intergalactic scale as some aliens discover that the suffering of geese is actually delicious
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"-on the level of finding a society that saw no problem with bestiality-"

...So! Canada?
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>>60149804
Should I parse that as "baby-eating aliens" or as "baby which eats aliens"?
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>>60150518
>baby which eats aliens
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>>60148692

Ten thousand strong will seize they day, mah nigga.
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>>60146281
>- They find that humans exterminate, enslave and devour less intelligent sapients without a good reason

Vegans go home.
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>>60145928
>Europeans out to end human sacrifice and cannibalism in the Americas
pretty sure that was a secondary concern after "Oh shit, land. Oh shit, slaves! Oh shit, GOLD. FUCKING GOLD."

>>60148775
>>60150161
That sounds absolutely retarded. Permanently shutting off electronics on that scale without also nuking the biosphere would require literally rewriting the physical laws which would actually be a pretty good reason for a spacefaring race to be prolific
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>>60150518
Baby-Eating Aliens

Is a famous short story. Three Worlds Collide
https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/HawFh7RvDM4RyoJ2d/three-worlds-collide-0-8

Humanity finds aliens. The aliens eat their babies alive (for reasonable evolutionary reasons) , and more, are so culturally attached to eating babies that their word for good is literally "baby eater. " As the first contact team deliberate what to do, they meet another species, who are basically huge bacteria that "breed" to communicate and are all constantly interconnected and happy. They find humanity being separated and not constantly in bliss to be abhorrent on a deep cultural level. These aliens are also far more advanced and basically give an ultimatum "be changed so we find you acceptable or be destroyed"

On the way you find out this future human civilization doesn't exactly fit our own ethical worldview either.
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>>60150422
Ahaha so funnah! A deliberate misinterpretation of a protest ruling by the Supreme Court trying to achieve the exact opposite of legal bestiality! Truly hilarious and not a run into the ground joke!
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>>60150526
There are plenty of weird hypothetical scenarios in the field of ethics, and if aliens landed on earth and a baby started eating them it would be a bit of a problem.
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>>60146281
>sapients
You mean sentients
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>>60146281
Self hate isn’t healthy
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>>60151649
sapient (plural sapients)
(chiefly science fiction) An intelligent, self-aware being.
1960, Farmer, Philip José, A Woman a Day, page 30:
It seemed to him a possibility that the Cold War Corps of March might have contacted hitherto unknown sapients on some just discovered interstellar planet.
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>>60145928
>Humans arrive on Earth with presumably peaceful intentions.

Uhh, bit of a slip there huh, you reptile piece of shit?
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>>60152443
Don't be stupid, Reptilians don't exist and even if we did we wouldn't waste our time on 4chan.
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>>60149804
>Aliens are slow breeding solitary creatures that communicate over vast differences. The tightly packed human cities look like conditions worse than a feedlot to them.
So, accurate?
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>>60150923
The real joke is the country of Canada.
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>>60155104

I'm that guy, and you're not wrong.
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>>60145928
They allow stupid people to breed freely and pointlessly create more stupid people in a world less and less able to accommodate them
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>>60150877
Shit, I remember this one. The amount of agenda pushing present in this story turned me off the author forever. It should also be mentioned this author made that autistic Harry Potter fanfic Rationality something that basically boils down to screeching how children literature is non-sensical.
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>>60156693
It's strange that you felt the agenda-pushing in The Baby-Eating Aliens was too much but the one in HPMoR apparently went over your head.
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>>60149804
>someone calls /pol/
Actually, what if that's the alien's motivation? They've been watching the internet, they've read /pol/'s "white genocide" conspiracy theories and they're here to "rescue" the /pol/utants by offering them refuge in their own civilization as a population at risk of genocide.
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>>60157997
I actually found the HP one later. Didn't know it was the same author, until I read the reviews in search of a reason why anyone would think that pile of shit was good.
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>>60145928
These aliens found something far worse than anything humans DO. Forget conquering it - they're out to purge this mudball and everything on it, by means of induced stellar detonation if necessary.

They found out that for all of humanity's flaws, every one of them comes prepackaged with higher intelligence on this planet. As their minds grow, they become MORE violent rather than less. They examine every other sapient on-world, finding the same pattern. They find plants stealing nutrients from one another. They find viruses hopping from species to species to kill millions. They find bacteria that strip the flesh from even the living. They find endless plagues of all-devouring insects. The only conclusion they can reach, after reading all the signs is that malevolence is written deep into the DNA of all life on Earth. That this violence is the will of the planet itself made manifest. Not a single cell can be allowed to escape to another world.
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>>60158255
Cue Pioneer plaque crashing on their homeworld while they are occupied with extermination and triggering a world war there through a series of coincedances.
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>>60158374
Anon, that's how the sequel starts. It ends with the named aliens from the first one quarantining the infected with themselves as the walls as the infected planet is cleansed.
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>>60158605
Third book is them dealing with the fact they became what they feared and try to reset the universe, only becoming stranded in the past on Earth. Their remains become the organic material that eventually evolves into lifeforms on Earth, bringing the cycle to an end. Humans arrive on Earth.
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>>60158255
This is a story prompt I think of far too often.
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>>60159035
Brilliant, send it to Hollywood.
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>>60145928
>Humans arrive on Earth
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>>60159661
Still better than a Michel Bay movie, amirite?
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They learn that many nations on Earth use fiat currency, instead of tying their monetary system to the value of tungsten as Zog-Nar intended.

...actually, my favorite idea along these lines was “extremely insecure aliens intercept penis-enlargement spam, are horrified by the sophistication and capability of human penis-enlargement technology, and decide that humanity must be exterminated before it becomes too powerful.” But that’s silly.
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>>60158105
Doesn't really have anything to do with what I brought up. You can read the baby-eating aliens naively as a science fiction story about culture shock and conflicting value systems or whatever without really noticing it's pushing any agenda. You can't read HPMoR as anything but a propaganda tract for everything (((Yudkowsky))) is involved with (in no particular order: the rationalist community, transhumanism, AI x-risk alarmism, freedom of education for gifted children etc) and the protagonist must be the most blatant self-insert he has ever written, except for those short stories where he simply stars as himself (at least in Aliens his insufferable mouthpiece is more like a secondary character.)
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Eating communally with other humans. Only savages eat food in front of other people. Have you no shame?
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>>60162804
Maybe there's hope for some humans.
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>>60162902
A surprising number of humans, actually.
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>>60150877
I enjoyed reading that. Thank you.
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>>60161741
I am not arguing with you, I just kind of don't understand what you are saying here? maybe since I'm not native english speaker
When I was reading baby-eating aliens, at the start if was just a somewhat strange and interesting setting, but the further the story went, I felt like it was arguing some pretty obvious viewpoints, like extreme moral and cultural relativism, not to mention the utopistic free unregulated market that was going on even on the ship during the thick of the crisis. I could probably remember more of the stuff that I had problems with, but I'm not sure if I want to spend any more time on stuff I hate.
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>>60166210
Not that guy

I don't know anything about the author, so I just took it as a way to say "even humanity's ethics have changed from yours! Ooooooh SPOOOOOOOKY" not as a statement about where humanity should go. But I don't know fuck all about the author, if he was serious it's just kind of funny or sad.
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>>60145928
>we were the aliens all along
>the reptilians and greys were the original dwellers of the planet and we drove them off
2spoopy
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>>60146281
They find out about socjus edamame slurpers like you.
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>>60148106
>watts

Hilarity ensues
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>>60148106
One of my favourite pieces of writing, and I didn't expect to see it here of all places. wouldreccomend/10
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>>60149804
The "Baby Eating Aliens" book or whatever actually did that both ways, including the one you're describing.
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>>60145928
They colonize us, because we don't sacrifice people to the gods. What a twist.
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>>60152316
For the most part, humans don't hunt or eat dolphins/killer whales, elephants, fellow great apes, or crows, which are the only animals intelligent enough to be argued to have sapience.
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>>60158255
Violence in nature is a universal constant, the natural result of the second law of thermodynamics and the finite resources of the universe.
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>>60170279
What makes you say this? Your sample size of exactly one planetary ecosystem?

There could quite feasibly be ecosystems that exist that end at photosynthetic organisms for some reason. Energy expended to move is too high, or more efficient than consumption for example.

"Nature" could be infinitely more varied than even we believe, we just haven't encountered it yet. Our it could be the opposite and everything else is about the same as it is here. With no other examples of life, we just don't know.
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>>60170231
Mostly because they're harder to catch/farm, not worth catching, or don't taste as good.

Sapience has no bearing on why we don't eat those regularly.
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>>60170231
You still put them in zoos and such either way, crows are the only ones who can be argued to live relatively free among humans.

>humans don't hunt elephants
lmao what

>>60173141
This pretty much. People in tropical countries have no qualms about eating apes if that's the local bush meat, and dolphins are a delicacy in many parts of the world.
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>>60150877
I read that at one point, but then I gave up on it when the humans all lose their shit over the titular aliens, to the point of considering declaring war on them to stop it.

Like, why do they care so much? The aliens didn't seem to want to force their values on the humans, so why not just let them be?
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>>60148775
So... The World's End?
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>>60145945
>>60145963
>Humans arrive on Earth

Honestly that sounds like the start of a premise for a sci-fi
>Humans render the planet uninhabitable
>Got on rocket-ships and left
>Everyone remaining seems to have died
>Largely forget about Earth, too costly to return etc.
>Forged interstellar civilizations, gathered resources to rediscover planet of origin
>Return much later, expecting fossils and ruins, ancient culture
>Find descendants of humans who remained
>Earthlings' technology is much weaker than that of extraterrestrial humans
>Earthlings die in large numbers to disease, war, and extraterrestrial looters and slavers
>Philosophical crisis and exploration of colonial themes ensues
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>>60173839

Basically because long term peaceful relations would be utterly impossible. There would always be a significant faction devoted to turning the other side to their way of thinking, or advocating for destruction / forced change. And they would have the moral high ground by every measure of their respective cultures. Keep in mind the baby-eaters don't just consume their children, they consume their fully sapient and able to feel pain children alive. Humans are actively arguing about consuming non-sapient animals after they've been (arguably) humanely killed.

The aliens didn't seem to want to change humans because they still naively thought that humans were good and wholesome baby-eaters like them.

Also that's sort of the point, you're supposed to feel outrage over the baby-eaters, then get a taste of your own medicine when the super-happys show up prepared to btfo humans for not being up to their moral standards. Then you learn to be a super smug moral relativist or something
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>>60150049
I'd actually really like to see that done one day, aliens attempting to wipe out humanity because we were created by the biggest monsters the universe had ever known.
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>>60174254
I might be misunderstanding what you mean here, but I wasn't outraged over the baby-eaters? I didn't care about what they were doing to their own, so long as they didn't try and do it to any of mine (which, now that I say it, sounds cruel, but there you are), and so all the humans getting so worked up about it seemed ridiculous to me.
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>>60167476

I like this one. Did the greys flee to the catacombs of Mars while occasionally sending out flying saucers to check on the invaders/see if it's safe to come out yet?
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>>60173090
>There could quite feasibly be ecosystems that exist that end at photosynthetic organisms for some reason.
Plants still compete for light and space, and have no qualms about choking out weaker individuals until they eventually die. They aren't even intelligent enough to do it thoughtfully, it just happens because violence and competition are the way of all complex dynamical systems. Higher morals and purposes are only imposed by sapient beings.
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>>60174429
I'm saying the author's intent was for you to go through those steps. Not that you necessarily will. It's a piece with an "agenda" that being to prove that moral relativism is perfect and amazing
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>>60174834

...whereas the other anon was basically already there (at least to the extent of being willing to let aliens be aliens) and didn't see what the fuss was about?
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>>60174429
>>60174834

Also the reaction to the baby-eaters is to show you how stupid having fixed morals is.

Most people would probably be disgusted by them on some level but pushing for immediate war is patently stupid. Like I said above, though, peaceful coexistence would likely be impossible. Even outside the author's propaganda piece
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>>60174886
Basically yes
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Been enjoying this thread and im kinda getting some Gurren Lagann vibes. Like a prequel or something
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>>60156693

>HPMoR

My god that was the most obnoxious shit ever. The you-know-that-I-know-that-you-know-that-I-know levels of wankery was off the charts.




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