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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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The child rushes towards your character as you begin to leave.
"Thank you for saving us from those bandits, you're a real hero! I hope I can be just like you when I grow up!"

How does your character respond?
>>
>>62372716
What does the child look like, what did we do, and who else is present?
>>
>>62372716
"Please don't. It will bring you no joy."
>>
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>>62372716
You are welcome little one, and when the time comes head to Tilsdath, find the Fairy's Rest and ask how to reach the Green Grove. Mention my name, you can join our ranks and maybe one day you too will be directing someone there.
>>
>>62372716
>tfw character is a goblin party face

"I'm not gonna cry. I-im not gonna-SNRK. CRY!"
>>
>>62372729
The child is an average peasant girl, probably from one of the farms in the area.
You were passing by and noticed that the village was being attacked by bandits, so you rode in, killed some of them and ran off the rest.
The girl ran out of the small inn as you started to leave, and you can see people watching the two of you from the windows and doorway.
>>
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>>62372716
"Glad I could help, kid. I'm sure if you try hard, you'll become a great adult. Though don't do anything stupid that would make people worry, okay?"
>>
>>62372716
Well ain't you just the sweetest damn thing. Slit up a few people and you will be on the right track.
>>
>>62372716
He gives her one of his spare swords, a smile, and a big thumbs up

>Go nuts, kiddo
>>
>>62372716
Oh, I'm no hero, just an old man who saw that you needed some help. You seem like a good child though, maybe you'll be a hero like the bards sing about one day.
>>
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>>62372716
"I didnt save you from those bandits. I saved myself, you just happened to survive as well."
>>
>>62372716
Manifest Mind Seed.
"Don't worry, you will be."
>>
>>62372716
“Yeah okay, I’ll see you in an hour when the GM’s BBEG kills you off for shock value. Ciao”
>>
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>>62372729
>who else is present
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>>62372959
Who hurt you anon?
>>
He will shuffle awkwardly in place.
>Y-yeah that's nice, kid. Now scram before your mother misses you or something.
>>
>>62372906
Wow that's really fucking bad PR, even if that was true why would you tell people that?
>>
>>62372971
His GM obviously
>>
>>62372716
"uh, yeah..."
>>
>>62372981
two reasons. we're playing wfrp, and my character is an outlaw. so fuck you
>>
>>62372716
"Hey kid ... catch"
*throws them my chainmail*
>>
>>62373011
Did... you just start taking your clothes off in front of a child? While her parents were watching?
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>>62373043
I choose to believe that he had a spare set.
>>
>>62372716
Well part of my character's class is that they do sooner or later have to take on a young apprentice to train and unlock their inner magic, otherwise she stops leveling up. Kids also have higher magic potential than adults do, so I guess my char takes the bait and the apprentice.
>>
>>62372716
(I'm doing a crazy female dwarf for my dnd)

Come with me, I need leverage for marrying your father.
>>
>>62372729
Sir Hansensen is mulling about that tree. He's been shooting you glances and staying out of the focus of your vision at all times
>>
>>62373043
>>62373059
I'm gonna be the buzzkill who says that most people probably where clothes under their armour
>>
>>62373063
>"That woman just grabbed that poor kid and started running!"
>"MY SWEET-PEA!"
>"Shit, after them!"
>>
>>62372716
Look her up and down, ask her to show me her best punch, then give feedback. Offer to give her a quick lesson before we leave.
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>>62373144
Doesn't matter.
>start taking off
People are going to react the moment they see you start stripping, not after you're done.
>>
>>62373059
>take off mail
>another set of mail underneath
A true PC right there
>>
>>62372716
PC 1:
>"You can do better than that, kid."

PC 2:
>"If you want to know how, it's simple..." And then she recites a koan at them.
>>
>>62372716
>"Well, if you wanna be just like me, here"
>hands pouch of 'pixie dust'
>"A pinch a day, you'll be okay. Anymore, you'll hit the floor."
>>
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AND YOU SHALL
SHOULD YOU TRAIN, EVERY DAY
LIFT EVERYTHING YOU CAN
EAT EVERYTHING YOU CAN
SLEEP ALL YOU CAN
>>
>>62372804
I kneel down and take off helmet to be more personable.
>"Well, here's the thing, you see I didn't do it alone. If you want to be safe against bandits, you have to get some friends. It may be hard for one person to be a hero, but with sturdy companions and the gods on your side you can do wonders."
I smile, and point towards the inn.
>"And remember to pay attention to your elders."
I look sideways at them and shield my mouth from them as if to tell a secret.
>"They may not look like they know much, but if they didn't send for my help lie the bandits would have never been driven off. Just be careful. Would you do something for me? If you see those ruffians hiding in the woods around the village again, I want you to run and tell the headman at once? You can do that, right?
I stand and pat her on the shoulder with a mailed mitten.
>"Good, now run back. I'm sure they could use your help now.

>>62373127
hah.
>>
>If you truly want to honor what I've done, be as the man I would be, not the man I am. I have had to struggle and sacrifice to attain what I have, so that I may safeguard you and yours against such hardships. I ask of you three things, that you may grow into one I would be proud to call friend. Study the teachings and tales of the Immortals and heed their lessons, strive to greet each dawn stronger and wiser, and do not sit quietly while evil men prosper.
>Do these things, and you will not grow to be like me. You shall surpass me
>>
"You'll be a better hero, just don't go before you're strong enough. When you think you are that strong, train even harder for a year. Okay?"
>>
>>62372716
"But you won't. Your parents are still alive. Mine are not... in fact it's their deaths that put me on this road, and when I reach the end of that road there won't be a need for people like me."

>I pick up my gear and rations

"Want to be a hero, kid? Look out for our home. Help make it a better place."
>>
>>62372716
"Eat your vegetables."
>>
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>>62372716
By infringing on my personal space without my written, verbal or implicit permission she is in violation of the NAP and thus forfeits all reasonable expectations of safety. This hostile act is justification for me to immediately attack her, which I do.
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>>62373417
Thanks Mr. SPIDERMAN
>>
>>62373398
"Holy shit, Mr. Adventurer. Take a fucking compliment, will you?"
>>
>>62373398
Edgiest response so far, congratulations, I can FEEL the pain that resides in your soul.
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>>62373537
Don't act like you could understand his pain.
>>
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>>62373398
>>
>>62373507
Kek
>>
>>62373332
That was nice and wholesome
I enjoyed it
>>
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>>62373332
You're a good person, anon.
Or at least your character is.
>>
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>>62372716
"AH! WHERE'D YOU COME FROM?!"
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>>62372716
>Be a evil villain
>Ok not evil villain yet
>but I will be once I trick my FOOOLISH hero companions to hid the villain for me
>No one is watching me
>Near the village
>Want to do some evil
>Spell a big ass mana bomb think
>About to throw it the village
>Slip
>It flies off into a hill
>The hill just so happens to had the bandits charging down it
>Mana Bomb explodes
>Killing them
>Little girl tells me I'm her hero
>The rest of the villages start celebrating padding me on the back and telling me how much of a hero I am
>Hero companions suddenly pop out out of nowhere and tell me how proud they are of me for being good
>MFW I yell "BUT I AM EVIL!"
>Everyone laughs and I died a little more inside
>>
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>>62372716
In character I say some nice things, maybe give them a hug.
Out of character I have a fucking heart attack and start half-jokingly berating the GM because I can never, ever handle cuteness bombs like that. Sucks to have that reaction when it's just a screen and there's nothing to hug or compliment.
>>
>>62373507
'ey, fack you child
>>
>>62372716
im a paladin

good! *headpat* *leave*
>>
>>62372716
im a blackguard

"Here's a weapon! It is my gift to you. Heroism is about killing things, find something to practice on. I recommend dogs."
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>>62372716
"I hope you won't have to."
>>
>>62372716
“RAAAAAAAAGGAAL RAGALL”
-Dragonkin Paladin
>>
>>62373668
>not corrupting that youth into a future villain
Pick up your frilly robe and get back in there Voldemort. There's long-term evil to cash in on.
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>>62372716
Headpats and encouragement
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>>62372716
"You honor me with your words, little one. But do not try to be just like me, strive to be even better."
Then ruffle their hair and walk off into the sunset.
>>
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>>62372716
>How does your character respond?
>“Then be blessed in the name of the Golden Lady. Be a teacher to the unknowing, kind to the weak, and a defender to those that cannot stand up for themselves.”
>>
>>62372716

>Tenra Basho Zero Oni in disguise

Smiles a bit and headpats her

"See my friends over there? The scary shinto girl, that bizzarre monk, the fair but distant lady, that fearful samurai? Not one is the same to each other - I don't know what destiny will make of you, I just hope you'll be one to see it, and see what is behind the surface."
>>
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>>62373763
It's too late. With my luck she's just be the next hero who defeats some evil Overlord down the line.
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>>62372716
>>62373043
>>62373127
>in some village
>DM describes the young barmaid as "maybe 15 or 16"
>So is she 15 or 16 haha
>No seriously though is she 15 or 16
>>
>>62374209
>With my luck she's just be the next hero who defeats some evil Overlord down the line.
It's not too late to change your vile ways, anon-sama!
>>
>>62374294
Gonna be frank with you, anon. Women were considered adults as soon as they started having periods, just as men were considered men as soon as... Well, *that* one is a bit of a long story.
>>
>>62372716
"Always remember to crush your enemies then drag their corpses through the streets and kill their firstborn sons."
>>
>>62372716
Wow, what fortuitous timing. There's a monster I'm trying to deal with that can only be slain by children. Here's a sword, let's start practicing
>>
>>62372716
>>62372804
(Last character I played was a regular human fighter, an ex-adventurer that went back in the field because he needed money to keep his farm alive as the crops haven't been very good lately.)

Damien knelt down and ruffled the girl's hair, trying to block her view from the corpses behind him.

"I'm no hero. What I did today was not an act of heroism- it was an act of humanity. I shouldn't be called a hero for doing what i'm supposed to do."

He stands, giving a short wave to the people behind her.

"I guess if it's so easy to be a hero, then anyone can do it, right? I'm sure you'll make a fine hero, too. Just don't let that spark within you die down any time soon, and stay true to yourself."

He starts walking away.

"Make sure you drink enough water, and exercise daily!" he lazily calls while walking back to his horse.
>>
>>62374401
>not to see them driven before you & to thear the lamentations of their women

Jesus anon, she's just a child, she does deserve proper education as well as anybody else
>>
>>62373668
>the entire campaign is the incompetent evil party who end up being the big damn heroes
>every fucking time
>>
>>62372716
Kneel down, give headpats, spout off some sappy lines about love and justice and a magical girl's duty, and how I'm sure she can indeed be a fine magical girl just like me when she's older as long as she continues to treasure the light of love and friendship in her heart.

I'm not playing a magical girl campaign, it's just a regular fantasy setting and my mage has some very odd delusions.
>>
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>>62374294
>the GM lets me fade to black with the barmaid
>"oh ha ha GM you didn't tell us how old she was, why don't you roll for it"
>mfw
>mfw players try to force a ship with a character that ends up being barely, baaarely legal with my near-their-thirties character
>>
>>62372716
xXxEDGExXx
>>
>>62372971
Who hurt you?
What deep-seated psychological trauma leads you to spam this question on 4chan every time you see someone display a form of hostility?
>>
Encourage the little girl to not every be like my character since my character is an aging monk with night terrors of his past as a mercenary.
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>>62372716
>"No problem, youngster, I'm glad I could help."
>>
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>>62374314
I don't think I need to. Like the other day I was trying to kill this old guy but it ended with us at the doctors.
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>>62372716
>Hmmmmm. An interesting premise indeed. It's been awhile since I last had an apprentice.
"You're welcome, little girl. We'll see how you feel about that in a few years."
>Seven years later.
"Still want to be a hero, little girl?"
>>
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>>62372716
She'd probably tussle the kid's hair and say something to the effect of, "Sure! the world could always use more heroes."
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>>62372716
The half-orc furrowed his brow, thinking..
"I am strong, but was not born strong. Garruk has lost fights. Garruk has lost friends." He stooped, meeting the girl's gaze as she pondered what he meant.

"You can be strong, too. But you will lost fights. You will lost friends. Being strong is.." His brow furrowed again, words coming to him slowly as he thought of his own life. How could a kid know? What did he do in his youth?

"Like drowning rat!"

"DROWNING RAT?" The girl shrieked. She'd never drowned anything! She couldn't even stand the idea of touching a rat, let alone holding it under water!

"Yes. Drowning rat! Garruk always wet. You can be strong like Garruk, but you can not drown rat without getting wet!"

Smiling, he trudged down the road, satisfied with the metaphor he used as the confused child cried to her mother about drowning rats.
>>
I incinerate the child, my party, myself and everything in a 20' radius with a random fireball cast on myself causing 16d6 damage. Thats how we roll in my group.
>>
>>62373398

You know, people may call that edgy, but I actually quite like it. That last comment ties it all together, and I commend you for that.
>>
>>62372716
"Why thank you!"

And then, perhaps out of sight but certainly not out of earshot

"YESS!!! YES!!! YEEEEEESS!!!"

She is an ex space pirate on a quest for redemption. Friend to children is probably a lot of brownie points with the gods.
>>
>>62372716
If you want to be like me you will need to work hard, my monestary would welcome one with a spirit like yours with open arms. Or if you wish i could train you in my specific variant of its style if you wish, but be warned our adventures are dangerous and not for one faint of heart or body
>>
>>62372906
>>62372981
>>62372998
He's Tsundere, thats why.
>>
Being strong is scary, just stay out of trouble okay?
>>
>>62372716
"You don't want to be like me, kid. When I was just a few years older than you, I went to war and saw everyone I knew die in awful ways. I got like this because nobody was around to watch out for me so I had to fight. You really want to thank me? Go back to your mother and mind what she tells you, and someday marry a boy and live your life happy and enjoy every day of it."
>>
Rolled 19, 17 = 36 (2d20)

>>62372716
Perception and Sense Motive
>>
>>62373301
IGNORE THAT BEAR CLAN SIMPLETON
HIS WAYS ARE IGNORANT OF TRUE TRAINING
DRAGON CLAN TEACHES ONE DAY OF TRAINING, ONE DAY OF REST!! AND OUR GAINS ARE ALL THE GREATER
>>
There are better ways to help this world than by becoming a monster of necessity, child.
>>
>>62372716
"Join the Temple of Shallya instead, kid. They're better than me."
>>
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He ignores her because he's too busy.
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>>62372981
Because you hate yourself and don't want to start believing sentimental lies, lest you end up hurt again.
>>
>>62373507
>filename
I kek'd
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>>62372716
>Dwarven cleric.

"Ohhh my wee lass, you don't have ta go out'ah figh'n baddies and the like to be a hero.I had a hoom and hearth once and I miss it so, but you got a family there that cares fur ya. Be true to yer kin and friends cause ya never know when they wont be there anymore. If you stand for wut ya believe and help them hoo need a help'n hand, you'll be a hero more than I ever could be."
>>
>>62372716
DON'T
>>
>>62372716
Visibly uncomfortable with a genuine compliment, then "Weehyl, it shud be expected of a noble of mah high stayndin' to help the peasantry, ayfter all."

I have no idea how to type deep south, but that's how he talks in game.
>>
*pats her on the head*

“Kid...don’t you ever say that again, ya hear?”

*walks off into the sunset*
>>
>>62372716
I joined the army as a war mage at nineteen, just in time for the second hobgoblin uprising. I have done some very terrible things that I can never make up for, and I will never forget the awful things I've seen. I'm just an old dog who only knows one trick, so trust me when I say that you don't want to be like me. If you want to be a hero, learn how to build things instead of learning how to destroy them
>>
>>62372716
>The tall bard pauses at the boys words and turns to him.

"The best life you can live is your own. Be with those that love you and love them in kind. We do what we do to protect what we love, not to be heroes. The world is dangerous and you should be ready for thst, but stay close to your home.
>>
>>62373148
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK6TXMsvgQg
>>
>>62372716
>”listen kid, i became an adventurer because i messed up big time at my home, became homeless overnight and was lucky enough to be smart and clever. I was an urchin, i stole, i drifted, i got caught, beat and then put in a cage. The only reason my head isnt on a pike on the East gate of Fort Gurvenic is because some spymaster saw me and took pity on me and decided to make me his apprentice. How did i repay the man for his “generosity? Sodomy, lots of it. After i became of age, i took my leave after earning a proper education as a thief, a spy, a burgler, a lockpicker, a pickpocket, a forger and a damn good liar. Truth is kid, im mot a hero, im a hobo who’s good at murdering things and people”
>>
>>62372716
"Well kid, then I have two things to say to you - always remember that the world is your oyster and if you ever see a dragon up close kick him in the family jewels".
>>
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*tsun teifling noises*
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>>62372716
Probably something along the lines of, "Go for it kid. Never back down in the face of evil, whether it's those bandits or those fat cats up in their fancy castles."

And then he would wander off and try to find a way back to the future.
>>
>>62372716
"Yeah, good luck kid, I'm one in a hundred years."
"Also my parole officer says I have to tell you not to drink. So... Don't do that."
>>
>>62375228
Is your character literally Tracer?
>>
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>>62372716
"But you have a Soul."
Despite being told BY A GODDESS that he has one as well, my Warforged Warlock doesn't believe he does. His goal has always been to become strong enough that he can't die, because he doesn't want to stop existing.
>>
>>62373398
Just for being bold enough to not be too afraid to post it because of the cringe and yikes posters, I applaud you anon
>>
Should we archive this thread when it dies?
>>
>>62372716
Isn't this just like One Piece?
>>
>>62373011
>30lbs of mail impact the child at high velocity
>>
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>>62372716
"Kid, listen."

"You've been fed a fairy tale. That everyone should aspire to be an adventurer. That if you just *try* hard enough and believe in yourself, you can be a hero."

"See this sword? This was taken from the dead body of a paladin who tried very hard and believed in himself. I used it today because that's what he'd want, but I'm going to return it to his family."

"And then I'm going to have to tell them their son, who believed in Heironeous with all his heart, was stabbed in the back repeatedly by a bunch of thugs for what little Gold he had."

"...you saw those blasts of darkness coming out of my hands, right? That's not normal. To do that, you have to make a... promise. To something very dangerous. And if you break that promise, dying is the very least that can happen to you."

"I've done things. Things that no matter how many "I'm sorry"s I say, can never be undone. And every night I go to bed, I see them over and over."

"If you think I'm trying to scare you, it's because I am. Because there's nothing more awful I can think of than to lie to you and say it's all victory and celebration."

"...but when you hit eighteen, when you've had a chance to see how the world really is... if you still want to be like me..."

"See that mountain? The one that looks like a skull? Go there. Look at the pillar at the peak. It will tell you what to do."
>>
>>62373664
LOL
Read that in his voice
>>
Woah hey kid how'd ya see me I'm supposed to be a shadow monk
>>
>>62372716
"K" then knock the child unconscious to kidnap and sell to slavers. all the while on the way to the slavers using her as a sex slave
>>
>>62377073
This is just tastelessly edgy desu
>>
>>62377135
> tastelessly edgy
>Implying that it's possible for edginess to be tasteful.
Care to explain?
>>
>>62377187
You can be an evil character that has some edge and that's fine as long as it's not cancer and doesn't make the table want to die.
>>
>>62372716
>y-you too
>360 walk away
>>
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>>62374373
Girls also had periods far later back then, due to poor nutrition stunting their growth. This is just Norway in my citation, but it's an example of a universal trend. 15 or 16 could actually be the difference between "probably" and "probably not" of child-bearing age.

http://chnm.gmu.edu/cyh/case-studies/207
>>
>>62375515

Aww.
>>
>>62372716
"You're welcome kid, but my life isn't as great as your imagination. However, when it comes time that you are able to make your own choices in life and you still wish to follow my path, seek out the village of Kelgarn. If I'm still alive, I will train you."
>>
>>62372716
"Coerce" her to tag along until she gets stockholme, train her (in multiple ways) until she is a valuable follower.
>>
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>>62372716
>>
>>62377744

>train her (in multiple ways)
go on...
>>
>>62372716
Give headpats and say thank you.
Leave but return later because I have become dependent on her as she reminds me of my daughter.
>>
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>>62375678
hmmmmmmmm...
>>
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>>62372716
>pic related, a (Grave) Cleric of Jerghal and an Undying Warlock.
>Gives her his Holy Symbol (He also carries a reliquary as part of his service), his spare Holy Book, and a dagger.

"Then be a good girl, don't get into trouble, and don't forget to pray to Jerghal every sunset. Run back home, now. Someone is going to worry."
>>
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"It was nothing, kiddo."

And then I go back to my harmonica.
>>
>>62378430
I dont know what he would be but damn is snufkin a good character.

Ranger I guess?
>>
>>62375845
Pretty close anon.
>>
>>62372716
"Hurrrr durrrr.... ummm... yeah. I hit things good heh heh heh. I go now. Hit more things. Get monies!"
>>
>>62372716
>Well, first we're gonna need to get you a girdle of masculinity (and hope it isn't one of the 10%).
>>
>>62373507
>Desire to burn village to the ground rising.
>>
>>62373011
I understood that reference.

But I'm guessing not many people under 40 do.
>>
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>>62372716
> "Thank you for saving us from those bandits, you're a real hero! I hope I can be just like you when I grow up!"
"When you grow up, huh... You'd better hurry then. None of us have much time left."
>>
>>62372716
>"Thank you for saving us from those bandits, you're a real hero! I hope I can be just like you when I grow up!"
Make your ancestors proud, kid!
>>
immediately start the facefucking
>>
My gnome rogue smiles, motions for her to follow him to the bodies, and begins to describe the various locations that will leave the most damage via a sneak attack. As he points to the massive gouges near the neck, he uses his ridiculous sleight of hand to steal everything on the bandit.

If the bandits stole stuff from the village, he would return it. Otherwise, he'd sleight of hand a gold coin or two into her pocket.

All stealth, of course, can't let the party see him being a softie.
>>
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>>62372716
>I hope I can be just like you when I grow up !
W-what ? You want to be a boy ?
>>
>>62372998
>muh wurrhummurr
>>
>>62375250
Garruk is a good boy.
>>
>>62372716
I'm not a hero and I don't do it for free. Now call your parents.
>>
>>62372716
>"Thank you for saving us from those bandits, you're a real hero! I hope I can be just like you when I grow up!"
"It is no great matter, little one, but your thanks are welcome. Yet a peasant girl can be no knight. Leave that to those better born, girl, or else a strong man with a bold, hard heart who may prove himself a noble in spirit. You'd be best off helping your mother with her chores and focus on marrying a good, hard-working villein. One day you may have the privilege to be the mother of a great hero of the common folk, the kind my descendants will be proud to take into their service."
>>
>>62372716
"This path will bring great sorrow, kid."
>>
>>62372716
>The child rushes towards your character as you begin to leave.
Initiative, using quick draw, we strike before she draws her weapon!
>>
>>62372716
>playing pick related
"Aw shucks lass! Ya don't gotta flatter me like that, I was jus' on the way and did what any man woulda. Hey, you can have this training stick I don't need anymore: keep up the good work!"
>>
>>62372716
Well I play in a guild so I have three:
>Being a hero is well and good, but to be honest I don't think I'm the role model you're looking for. I'm a mercenary, and I'm not always doing the right thing. Don't let me get you down though, become a better person than me if I'm not good.
>You know it little buddy! Of course you'll never be as great as me, but a good heart and a role model like me will see you through any trials you may face!
>All in the job kid, helping people is what I do.
>>
>>62379217
You're playing the worst character in Awakening?
>>
>>62379348
You misspelled strongest.
>>
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>>62372716
"There will never be anyone like me. Follow your own way to the center that cannot hold. No man may guide you toward it."
>>
>>62379348
Donnel is kind of charming in his own way. He's just an idle farm boy doing his best to help, but all he's really got is some good skills at gear maintenance, which isn't too useful until you come across some legendary items that because he's so good at keeping them at tip-top shape, they never run out of the magic stuff that keeps them powerful.
>>
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>>62372716
"And you will be if it's truly what you wish and work for little one. But you will need to become strong, just like me. Don't be brash and adventurous until you can at least back it up with your skills and lift a steel sword"
>>
>>62379012
More like hurrdurrmer, Emirate?
>>
>>62376981
>his voice
how does Reginald sounds like?
>>
>>62373186
This sounds erotic
>>
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>>62372716
"There's no need to thank me, young one; I was just doing what any pious man would. Sign up at your local convent and in a few years time even you can be a proud member of the Inquisition."
>>
"A hero, eh? Well thank you dear, it was our pleasure to help you folks in your time of need. As for being like me...mm well, let's hope your endeavours lead you to a more lawful path, my dear"
>He produces a flower from behind his back and hands it to the young girl before dramatically turning
"Just be sure to remember that it was the legendary thief, phantom Night Mask, and his allies who saved you today, and stole the danger away! Hahaha!"
>>
>>62379606
A little less huskier than Beartato
>>
>>62372716
With a weary smile and a nod he says" Your welcome. Run along now little one."He's a rogue Abyssal who just saw a good excuse to kill some people, he doesn't want her praise but also doesn't like seeing children cry.
>>
"Yeah whatever you want kid, just remember not to tell your parents what we did behind the lumber mill, got enough warrants by the local guard already"
>>
>>62375707
deep bottom of the ocean tier of DEEP
>>
>>62372716
My character doesn't recieve praise all that often and focuses mostly on plans he is working on, he probably woukd get thrown off and feel awkward. This girl doesn't know who shes hugging
>>
>>62372906
I really didn't like the leather jerkins they gave everyone in the later seasons.
>>
>>62376570
With that picture and that attitude, I'd say she's definitely Tracer
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>>62375707
Drop the "you hate yourself" part and it's good.
>>
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>>62372716
Glad to be of service! There's always room for more heroes in this world and I'm sure you'd make a great addition once you're older.
If that day comes and you're serious about this, come to us.
Allies to watch your back, equipment to fit your fancy and not to mention room and board. I wish I had that kind of launching point when I was your age!
>>
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>>62372716
Cute little thing.
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>>62372716
"Trust me child, you don't want to see the things we've seen, or face the creatures we've faced. Just pray that those shoddy mooks are the worst you'll see attacking your village"
>>
>>62372716
"I wouldn't recommend it, the adventuring life's actually pretty awful. It's not for no reason that the vast majority of adventurers die young"
>>
>>62377187
>Care to explain?

MGR:Revengeance
>>
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>>62380096
>>
>>62372716
As soon as he's called a hero he thinks of all the fucked up and horrible things he's done and looks away
>>
>>62372837
>Slit up a few people
>wut

Did you mean "slit a few throats"? How do you have nervous social anxiety over the internet? Relax.
>>
>>62372716
Eat your veggies, exercise, and you too can beat the shit out of greasy racist elves, kid.
>>
>>62379937
CGI bears won't pay for themselves.
>>
My halfling theif laughs for a bit and then she says: Go for it kid, even if you don't grow any taller you'll still be a good hero. Just remember to do good things and good things will come to you.
Then I give her one of my stolen necklaces. I've got a few seeing as I have a habbit of stealing jewellery. And besides sometimes it good to get rid of hot gear.
>>
>Spend days inside of a deadly dungeon. The quest started off with trying to find the source to the water being poisoned but it turned into a subplot about un-Earthly entities trying to squeeze their way into this plane and had to spend sleepless hours fighting off hoards of chaotic horrors.
>Finally back out into the light and trying to calm down. Leaving before anyone can ap-
>Feel something hug into you! SWORD, SLASH AT IT NOW JESUS ONE MADE IT OUT
>Its a child who was hugging you and thanking you.
>You killed a child out of paranoia.
>>
>>62380741
But of a stretch to get an edgy ending, bro
>>
>>62372716
"Don't be me. It's impossible to be me. Be you, it's easier to do. No matter what path you take just remember, you're strong in your own way. Good Luck Kid. I hope we see each other again."
>>
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*pat on a head*
A bit of advice kid.
Learn to defend yourself and always pick your battles.
>>
>>62372716
"You probably shouldn't be like me.
Then again I've become someone I probably shouldn't.
Though if you're already like me, you're going to try anyways. So if you're still willing I could use an apprentice. Unless your family still needs you on the farm that is.
"
>>
>>62372716
Bah, those bandits were such a disappointment, i thought they would at least be able to overrun a small village in the middle of nowhere, maybe I should get better lackies
Oh sorry kid, didin't see you there, did you say something?
>>
>>62378807
That commercial was memed well into the 90's
>>
>>62372716
"I'm not sure a beard would suit a little lady"
>>
>>62372716
>How does your character respond?
y-you too
>>
>>62379348
Don't you shit on my boy Donnel like that.
>>
>>62372716
>character is a good person hiding under a thick layer of "I'm only doing this because I want money, b-baka"
>faced with adulation from a small child
She would probably just stumble through some vague, garbled fusion of two different platitudes and try to extricate herself from the situation as quickly as possible. And after that,

"...Okay, but seriously, kiddo. There's better ways to help people than heroism. Running around slinging spells and steel helps some people right now, but it doesn't change anything. Plus you usually don't get much money from it. If you can build something lasting, something that makes people's lives better, that's worth a thousand of me."
>>
y-you too...
>>
>>62372716
does my automated threat detection trigger?
>>
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>>62372716
>>
>>62372716
"Do you have a minute to talk about our Lord and Savior Ilmater"
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>>62372877
What if she cuts herself?
>>
>>62373148
Just give the parents like 20 gold.
>>
>>62372716
Just "You're welcome" and a bit of sad smile as he thinks that the reason he does this is so that regular people like this kid can live normal lives, grow old, and die in their beds. He wouldn't wish this life on his worst enemy.
>>
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>"y-you too -shit- No I meant-...Forget it"
>>
>>62374444
>blocks corpses to say 'just be urself lol'
>walks away
>the girl is left behind with the mutilated bodies of desperate men
Great adventurer origin story, tbqh
>>
>>62372716
>be armored berserker coming down from frenzy
"I'LL SKULL FUCK YOU TILL YOUR SOCKETS ARE GLASS!!!"
>>
>>62372716
Grab the kid and run. Same as last time.
>>
>>62375130
>For the last time, I have a name. And I rake in 50 000 gold pieces a year, engage in multidimensional orgies every week, and am recognized across the land as an accomplished mage. You think I'd rather have married a fucking farmhand?
>>
>>62375315
Sounds like you had a blast, anon
>>
>>62372716
He crouches down to meet her on eye level "Don't aspire to be a scarred and surly son of a bitch like me little'un, aspire to be better. If tales of my deeds are told in the next kingdom over yours should be told in the next nation. Just be mindful not to let it go to yer head, yeah?". Following this he gives her a pat on the head and moves on with the party, doing his damndest to avoid getting bitched out by the paladin for A: giving the kid one of the weapons looted from the bandits we killed while the parents aren't looking, B: encouraging the kid to go out and adventure rather than live in peace, and C: yet again gaining the affections of the youth where she continues to fail.
>>
>>62372716
Not unless you get a second chance at being born, little peasant girl. Now run along and grow a vegetable or something.
>>
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>>62372716
>>
>>62375865
Good shit
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>>62372716
I animate her skeleton while its still in her body and laugh as it tears its way out, then I raise the dead bandits some some skelebois and sack the village.
My current campaign is us attempting to out-edgelord each other at every turn for giggles.
>>
>>62375982
I'm sure you just had to bring up sodomy to the little girl paying you a compliment
>>
>>62382463
Funnily enough that's how villains can be born. All it takes is for the little girl to foolishly try to do it to prove she can and for shit to go horribly wrong for her to fixate on you as the reason everything went to shit. Even if you spell it out for her during the future confrontation that it was an awful idea you tried to discourage her from she'll still see it as something that was your fault.
>>
>>62382507
I can't think of a single example. Most likely she'll just die, just like you, just like all adventurers. Remember: if you live to retirement, you didn't adventure enough
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>>62374696
not him but maybe be it has to do with your previous post coming off as bitter knee-jerk response.

stop treating everything like a personal attack.
>>
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>>62382584
While not exactly as I described pic related is a pretty good example of aspiring hero turned villain after being shut down by their hero. If you tweak it a bit and have them try to hero it up anyway and get royally fucked in the process it wouldn't be far fetched to assume that in their anguished state they'd blame you for not encouraging their dream and/or taking them under your wing. The human mind is a strange thing and will do anything to shift blame
from itself sometimes.
>>
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>"You are welcome young warm blood. And perhaps in time you to can be strong...That is if we succeed in our current goals...otherwise yeah, we're all dead."
>>
>>62372716
>I sheathe my swords, smile and pat her on the head.
"Is that so? Well, I won't say not to, but it's a very lonely and difficult life, being a hero. If you still feel that way when you're older, come by the temple of the Moon Goddess and seek me and I might be able to teach you a thing or two."
>I then hand her a small book with a full moon etched on the cover from my satchel.
"In the mean time though, feel free to read this, it might make a fun bedtime story. Now go and find your parents, I'm sure they're wondering where you've gone to."
>I check the vicinity to make sure the bandits aren't preparing a second attack, wave goodbye to the girl, and finally ride off to surprise attack the bandits while their moral is still shattered to make sure they don't attack the village again.
>>
>>62372716
If human:
>give her a beginners book in the arcane arts
>tell her to go to the mages collage in the capital if she can manage to comprehend the whole thing before she's 20
>pat her on the head
>ride off into the sunset on my overburdened mule
If not human:
>remind her of the inferiority of her race and tell her that she should never even consider leaving her village as her kind is not welcome in the great kingdoms of man
I rolled racism on the quirks and flaws table
>>
>>62379123

At the end of the day, every hero has a mum.
>>
>most of the replies involve giving head pats to the kid
This is a good thread. This is what I needed after watching the Jim livestream last night. Thank you for giving me this anons.
>>
>>62382002
That would be a valuable leasson
>>
>>62382002
That will be an important lesson.
>>
>>62382887
Hey, now. Some of us are magical/alchemical constructs, the children of 5e elves, and test tube babies.
Try to be a little more sensitive.
>>
>>62372716
Just like always: with a smile and a kind word. You don't have to be like us. Train to improve, and become the best you can be. I know you can do it!
>>
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>>62383153
Silly anon, that just means you haven't found a mum yet.
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>>62372716
I pre-roll a D20
If I get a 20, I tell the DM that I'm about to punt this kid to the fucking moon
>>
>>62372716
My character was already looking for a page. If the kid has aptitude and her family agrees, he'll take her in, train her both in the way of the sword and fist, in all manner of combat techniques, and prepare her to someday compete in a fighting tournament before the gods themselves in Great Forks, so as to prove herself as being worthy of receiving Exigence. Then, and only then, will she be ready to be a hero (unless she exalts as something else first, I guess).
>>
>>62383230
I did but she long rested and now she's my dad.
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>>62383540
Well, maybe whoever your dad's dating can be your mum.
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>>62376953
>"I have to be an adult for three years before I can adventure? That's boring."
>>
>>62372716
>How does your character respond?
"Don't be silly, child. A simple human could never hope to be just like me. Look instead to the glorious captain Savvin for inspiration: Fully cognisant of his own inadequacy, yet wise enough to rely on his natural betters to get the job done!"

Playing a dickass elf is fun.
>>
>>62372716
"Heh, you'll never be like me, kid. Nothing personnel."
>>
"Youre a might young yet, but the legions are always recruiting. I look forward to having your help holding back the dark in a few years!"

Then i guessgive them some headpats or something.
>>
Warlock:
"If you want to be a hero, be kind to those around you, and live a life you're proud of."
>Give her a quarterstaff
"Of course, being able to defend yourself isn't bad either. Knock yourself out."
>Give ger a headpat and Nothin Personnel Step away

Dexfag femFighter:
"Stay light on your feet, protect the people you care about, and most of all, stay safe."
>Give her a hug and ride away

Grave Cleric:
"When you're older, head to one of the temples. They will train you in the arts of healing. Mending the damage caused by men's folly is the work of a true hero."
>Give her a headpat and inter the bandits in the local graveyard
>>
>>62382185
Fucking more real than I hope
>>
>>62372716
"Little one, I can already tell that your voice will make the mountains tremble! Take these!"
> I give her sheets with pieces that villagers fancy the most: of true love, hard work and comradery winning over hardships.
> Double check to make sure there isn't anything about getting shitfaced with your mates; it's what the villagers really fancy, after all
"You know what, here's also something for you."
> I give her my lute.
"It's probably a bit big for you right now, but it's a fine instrument."
> Pluck a few strings for a tune.
"I hope you will have a lot of fun singing to your old man, just like I did. Now go show him what I gave you!"

My character is a half-orc skald with war drums. The lute is there so nobody would ask questions and for getting coin.

Please tell me she didn't see the mangled bodies.
>>
>>62383725
That's also my dad.
>>
>>62372716
I was lied to, those bandits were not dragons, or bandit dragons.
>>
>>62372716
>ruffle hair
>"Remember to eat your veggies and say your prayers before bed"
>>
>>62372716
y-you too
>>
>>62372716
"Umm guys, what do i do?"
>probably left on his own to figure it out

"Uhh, you are welcome and uhh...practice what you're good at and thats how you be a hero."

>headpat and leave as fast as possible

My fighter is lacking in some skills besides shooting things and making quips at the rouge
>>
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>>62372716
"Duty is its own reward little one. And no duty is more sacred than protecting the Imperium's lifeblood."
>>
"Its a hard road, child, if you follow it honestly. Ive slept in the snow beside the road for weeks at a time, lived off of fistfulls of rock hard bread a day, and had to make do with needles and thread for my hurts with no priest for miles able to shed the ladys grace on them. I've fought foul beasts and fouler men, battling for my very life, and buried good people who fought beside me and lost. I've done things, terrible things, things that haunt my sleep still, because it seemed that there was no better way.

But it was always worth it. Every time a village that might have died lived because I was there, it was worth it. Everytime some innocent could sleep a peaceful night because I stood between them and some terror, it was worth it.

Never let anyone tell you it isn't.
>>
“Pfft, knock it off, kid”, He smiled, showing a row of yellowed theet. His voice carried no emotions, “I'm just a dead body pretending to be a hero.”

In a way, he isn't lying since he is a reanimated corpse, but in the other, he is what you would call a hero and that isn't someone he would want for other people. He sees the glow slowly fading from her eyes, “it's for the best” he convinces himself... But she don't gives up, not yet.

“Don't say it! You're really cool! When the blue dragon did the "Whoosh!" thing and vanished I almost screamed, he was sooo big!! So...”, she took her time, took a breath ande screamed with the might of a thousand orcs. “I will be a hero like you! I don't care if you say otherwise”

“Geez, kids these days... It doesn't help the fact that you're the cutest little thing". I said, wieldyng to her whins, such got me a beaming smile.

I took my old summonig book from my backpack, dusted and a bit burned after that one incident, but still in one piece. I gave it to her with a parting kiss on her reddend cheecks.

"Take care, little one. May the Goddess of Magic bless you".
>>
>>62372906
>Apothecary Pavel, I'm CIA.
>>
>>62373350
It's not hard to surpass someone who's only confirmed damage is shove on block.
>>
>>62372716
>'BETTER START TRAINING KID.'
>drops one of many spare massive fuck-off axes
>'HERE YOU GO. ATTAGIRL. REMEMBER TO LIFT WITH YOUR LEGS'
>briskly jogs into the sunset
>>
>>62378451
A traveling monk is probably a bit more accurate.
>>
>>62373127
>>62372729
Underrated
>>
>>62372716
>>62372804
"Daltyn, are we leaving or what?" the ranger calls, ever uncomfortable around strangers eager to be back in the embrace of the wilderness. The aasimar turns his head and waves to his comrades.
"Give me five minutes, okay? This is important."
"When is it not?" smirks the group's elven healer, already in the saddle and her staff across her knees.
Daltyn turns back to the girl and knees down, hugging her tenderly. The unpleasant stink of oiled chainmail makes the girl's nose crinkle, but his arms are warm and safe, just like when he pulled her from ditch she had slid into and sprained her ankle when the raiders came.

"I won't tell you no, or that it's dangerous," the man with the shining silver hair gently explains to her. "You already know that, don't you? Good people die doing what we do. Are you brave enough to face that?"
She nods, her eyes wide as she listens to every word he says, more attentively than she has ever listened to her parents, that's for sure.
"Good. Then you're brave enough to face years of work that pushes you to your limits and past them, because that is what it will take." Daltyn's smile turns serious as he places a hand on her shoulder. "A hero needs three things. First, they must be strong, because without strength, all the good will in the world is meaningless. For this, you must train, every single day. First, learn how to run, because there will be timed that running will be all that keeps you alive. Then when you can run from when the sun has left the trees in the morning, to when it touches them in the evening, with a sack of rocks on your back, you can learn to swing a sword."

Second, a hero must be brave, to stand up to evil and choose not to run and save themselves. Being brave doesn't mean never being scared or being foolish to prove you fear nothing; it means choosing to stand and fight when you are scared and push forward when you know turning back will hurt others.

>cont. 1/2
>>
>>62385298
Bravery also means keeping your head when everyone else is worried and panicked, so you can quickly and calmly choose what is the best thing to do."
"Strong... And brave," she nods. "Okay. What's the third thing?"

"The third is the most important," Daltyn smiles. "It's to be good. When you're strong and brave, there will be many times you can do what benefits you, but someone else will suffer for it. Sometimes someone like a lord will even tell you to let someone suffer, or inflict suffering upon them. You must never let this happen. Always stand for as little suffering in the world as you can. Often this will mean following the law, for it was made by wiser men than you or I, but sometimes it will mean recognising when the law is wrong and then you must do what is good, even if others tell you. If a bad man begs for mercy and a second chance and you believe they are sincere, you have to give them the chance to start over and be good, even if you hate them. On the other hand, if they're just trying to get away with their evil deeds and you think they'll do more in the future, then you save more people from suffering by giving them what they deserve, understand?"
The girl frowns, looking perplexed. "I... Don't think so. What about those bandits? You didn't give them a chance to be good? It kinda sounds confusing."
The aasimar smiles and sighs, shaking his head. "Don't worry about it too much. Just so long as you always try to do good, that's what you need to remember." He plants a small kiss on the girl's forehead before he stands, causing her to blush and giggle.

As a last gift before the group leaves, Daltyn speaks with the girl's parents, handing them a purse heavy with gold. "For your daughter's education," he tells them with a smile. "When she's able to do as I said, this is to pay for wherever she wishes to learn; the church; the royal academy; the college of magic... Anywhere. There should be enough to pay for all she needs."
>>
>>62372716
Okay
>>
>>62372716
EAT
KILL GOBLON
>>
>>62372716
>I hope I can be just like you when I grow up!
That makes one of us
>>
>>62382260
>thought nothing of this
>reread it
>really started thinking about it
>he would have to first fuck the bone to ash
>then fuck the ashes with such fierce velocity the friction of his cock would burn with similar heat to the epicenter of a nuclear blast
>turning the ash of her sockets to glass
>>
>>62385306
Said girl and family is murdered when the bandits respawn.
>>
>>62373398
This is actually pretty good. Straightforward.
>>
>>62382960
Close
>>62383019
You pass
>>
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>>62372716
>How does your character respond?
>>
>>62382251
He IS true neutral
>>
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>>62372716
>>
>>62385570
This is the kind of amusing, absurd autism that I come to /tg/ for.
>>
>>62385572
Bandits don't 'respawn'... More might come along, or might not, but they don't just 'respawn' like the fey or demons do.
>>
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>>62373011
>>
>>62373063
Piccolo plz
>>
>>62385666
Satan approves.
>>
>>62375250
Wholesome.
>>
>>62377263
>Girls also had periods far later back then, due to poor nutrition stunting their growth
And the lack of hormones in the water
>>
>>62388382
That one's just a myth.
>>
>>62388382
Gay frogs.jpg
>>
>>62372716
Eat 3 meals a day, as much as you can, and lift heavy things until you can lift anything. Then get in lots of fights with nice people at the nearest tavern until you win more than you lose.
>>
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>>62372716
>So, ya wanna be a hero, kid?
>Well, whoop-dee-do!
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>>62372716
>Well uh...good. But focus on the savin' people part more than on the killin' 'em. Join the army for trainin', but don't stick around too long. Them lords won't care about us little people, so you gotta learn to make your own decisions. But always obey your ma and pa and the gods.
>And, hey, if you're serious about it, I, hem, I'll come back in a few years, okay? I mean it, too. You know what, I give you my knife to keep. I'll want it back.

Character is a simple farmgirl turned fighter for, not the greater good, but at least the protection of her peers, so it does resonate a lot with her.
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>>62388648
You better give that kid a training montage, anon.
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>>62372716
Ignores the child and lets the party face respond
>Secretly decides to spare the child when the invasion starts
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>>62384707
M-MEAN!
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>>62391498
>She insists on thanking you personally.
>Perhaps at some point in the battle you might have rescued her by chance from some cutthroat without even realizing it.
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>>62372716
>Be barbarian
>Covered in blood and viscera
>Impressed she can hold her lunch seeing the heads on spikes, effigies, and men dangling from trees by their dicks

"Hell kid, since your lunch isn't on the ground right now I'd say your a solid quarter of the way there already.
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>>62391582
Nod silently so as to not give away actual race, hidden by an illusion
>Get embarrassed and irritated while party members laugh at our very similar height
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>>62382260
>>62385570
I have no words
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>>62382307
I think he meant waiting until the girl had grown up to Start her hero training, not abducting her from her fresh, bandit-ridden home village and padawaning her.
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>>62372716
>Is that so? How about you so me a quick favor then huh? Tell your parents you didn't quite catch the face of the 'mysterious hero' who saved you, he just left too fast. Think you can do that for me?
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>>62372716
I cast teleport on her, sending her to one of my dungeon cells, for hybridization experiments.
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>>62372716
Burn the corpses, enslave the village raise the child as your right hand as you build your empire and eventually name her as your heir while you go into self imposed exile to die.
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>>62392089
>Not using her to produce an heir when she comes of age
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>>62392101
She wants to be like me when she grows up, and I don't bear children hombre-san.
>>
My current Character is a Skeleton rougue.

>"Oh shit kiddo don't scare me like that."
Upon hearing her announcement, he immediately hands her a +2 dagger that he's been looking to get rid of.
>"You know how this works, yeah? Stick 'em with the sharp bit."
He then squats down to her height.
>"Now, it works a whole lot better if you do it when they aren't paying attention to ye."
>"More importantly, you gotta learn to not get caught. Imagine playing hide and seek, exept the seeker wants to kill yah and you have to kill them back."
He stands back up and starts walking away.
>"Hide the dagger, kiddo, and practice your sneaking. Don't be afraid to nick some things if you got the opportunity to."
>>
>>62372716

>kneels down, smiles.

> Look at Agent Deakin the resident FSO who can speak Russian.

" What did she say?"
" She says you're a hero" He smirks.

"Well with the amount we were paying those fucking gyppos, at least it fucking worked - Get her to show us where the church is, quietly."
>>
bump
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>>62372716
I give her a spare knife and tell her to start training, since she shouldn't aim for being like me, but being better than me. I wish her the best and continue on my journey.
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>>62372716
"I'm no hero, just my mistress' aide. And there's no chance you'll ever be like me. S-still feel free to keep complimenting me."
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>>62392646
>Not "Drink you milk"
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>>62372716
"Cool. No problem."
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>>62372716
>current char is a 9 foot tall turtle lizardman barbarian

"Terok is friend to all children!"
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>>62374294
why is murder fine but going for an underage is no-no?
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>>62372716
You're welcome little , train hard and pick your battles and perhaps someday you will
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>>62377789
Sword fighting lesson one: Pointy end goes in other man.
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>>62372716
Pat her on the head, give her some pretty trinket from our haul, and send her back to her family with a smile.

Later that night, pray to my silent god for such a day as when there is no more need of people like me.
>>
>>62372716
She ponders for a moment, this would be a good thing for the humans to see. Their spawn showing admiration for an orc. It may bid well for her clan when the shamans make passage through their lands come next autumn. Less risk of bloodshed from border patrols mistaking her kin for invaders if they are too fearful of their might to attack.

As the chieftain's daughter, it would be her duty. Leave this child in awe. Teach her of orcish strength.

But... not today.

The crowd gathers around her companions, but not the orc. Worry is written on their faces and there is fear in their eyes. The moment lingers and the young one's parents watch from the edge of the crowd. Desperate to call her back to their care yet too terrified to make a noise.

The orc barbarian grunts, and plops backwards, sitting in the dirt. Turning to face the child, she states as nonthreatening as she can manage.

"There is no grow up, human. We are alike already. When evil men came to your door, your warriors stood and fought. They drew sword and spear and were prepared to die to protect their kin."

The orc points to her party's elven cleric, blessing a wound a town guard had suffered in the battle, it had healed but scarred wickedly. The townsfolk gathered nearby, with thanks and gifts in hand.

"That man, your guard, do you think his age is all he needed to fight for you? That if he were older or taller, his arm would not be so torn?"

The child stammers, unsure and confused.

"Why are you not thanking him? as your clansmen do?"

"Uh but... you um-you were the one who-"

"I am. And this is why we are alike. None here thanked me, until you. You respected my strength, and the weight of my actions. Despite the fear your elders show. Know that I thank you for this, for you are the bravest one among them."

The orc stands, nearly two and a half times the childs size, and lifts the child to her shoulders. Her parents gasping in fear.

"To an orc, to me, you are grown already."
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>>62372716
>stab her in the stomach
>take her hostage
>tell her family that I can heal her but only if they pay me
>demand a large sum
>if the don't pay slit her throat
>if they do heal her but don't release her
>demand a ransom for her
>extort all the remaining money from the family and probably the whole village
>if they don't pay take the girl and sell her as a slave
>if they do pay laugh in their faces and sell her anyway
Such is life in an evil campain
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>>62388298
Yinser alert
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>>62375250
Underrated good Orc boy.
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>>62372716
"Hero? Really? Huh, I just thought those guys looked like they wanted a fight, so I gave 'em one. Pretty alright brawl, too! If you wanna be like me, though, that's easy. There's just one thing you gotta do: beat the shit out of everyone. Small, huge, extra huge, it doesn't matter; fuck 'em all up. Anyone that's giving you an excuse to punch 'em - you punch 'em, and you punch 'em real good. If you get smeared across the floor and walls, you get yourself put back together, and then you go right back to smearing everyone else. Do that enough, you'll pretty much be me. It's easy, and we can see if you've got what it takes in one question: do you wanna have a fight?"
>>
Smile and make an OK hand sign, like my hero Wall Might
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>>62372716
Are you going to eat those cadavers?
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>>62392101
No filthy southern child will carry his destined son, he already has a plan for a son to be born and to overthrow his future heir and right hand. He is still in the process of acquiring power.
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>>62372716
Act surprised because I'm a 4.20 meter tall bastard in a rather intimidating looking armor, and generaly people freak out when around me.
Kneel down.
"Glad of saving you, but no need for thanks. And do not try to be like me child, duty is a heavyweight; try to have a beautifull life, for that will be the mark of my sucess, that you need not to be like me.

Also you are a little small for that, don't you think ? Should eat more soup, here, *give something usefull along with some coin* live well child"

Get up and leave after a quick salute, and a black gaze at whoever in the party is making fun of me.
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>>62372716
The same way one ought to respond to every encounter, I roll for initiative or whatever the system equivalent is .
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>>62372716
"Welp. Thats going to suck for this orphanage."
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>>62372716
"Eat well, work a lot and always help others. And remember: Don't get a tat until you're almost an adult, it hurts like a bitch!"
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>>62395577
>Swearing in the company of children
Don't make me cut out your tongue, Anon.

>>62372716
Build a small school for the village.
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>>62372716
>Rules of Nature starts playing
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>>62372716
"I hope you won't have to, lil' one. But thank you."
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>>62396469
Oh lighten up, she lives on a farm and hangs around an inn; I'm sure she's heard far worse, this isn't exactly a noble's estate.
>>
My character is a child soldier and fucking hates normal kids

and he has the big gay
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>>62372716
>14 year old Mage prodigy
>5 charisma
>does realilistic Loli voice
>uhh..mm T-th-Thanks
>face goes red
>lowers stereotypical Mage hat
>walks back to party embarrassed
>big fighter goes"I see you've made a friend"
>make moan of detest
>looks behind and waves goodbye"
>>
My character doesn't speak Common, so she'd probably wonder who let this little one go running out of her nest.
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>>62372716
"Trust me, you don't want it."
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>>62372716
"By the Emperor, that's cute!"

If the child looks more than 8 years old then I hand him/her the recruitment papers and tell him/her to report at the nearest Sentinel facility with these papers filled ASAP.

If he/she does not look 8+ years old then I just give him/her a pat on the head, return the smile, and leave.
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>>62372716
>*silently waves without turning around*
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>>62372716
>hands her one of his Tomes of Many
"Don't be like me, little one. Be better."
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>>62396901
That's cute. You're cute, Anon!
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>>62372716
Divination comes first, no reason to give advice that isn't good and relevant. "Watch out for that banana peel" works too.
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>>62372716
"Like me? Hrmm...No, you should grow up to be more. Maybe rise above your station. With people like you running things, the world might not need 'heroes' like me."





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