>>67231534
Destro is a weapons dealer, a prolific one at that. I'm sure they have other forms of income on top of that.
The Joes rarely, if ever, interfere in the small-time weapons sales. At least to my knowledge.

It's a cult-like organization which has their fingers dipped into all manner of things. It's only when they get blatant that the Joes shut them down.

>>67231534
George Soros funds Cobra.

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>>67231534
Videogame microtransactions, obviously.

>>67231534
IIRC, Cobra Commander started out as a used car salesman who got tired of the grind and decided to start Cobra as payback on the world for not letting him succeed the honest way. Didn't he turn his seed money into a shitload of Ponzi schemes and pyramid scams that made him, like, a billionaire?

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COBRA!!

>>67231588
Not just this, but also television, books, fast food, beer, soda, gasoline and, most heinous of all, miniature wargaming.

>>67231594
>got tired of the grind and decided to start Cobra as payback on the world for not letting him succeed the honest way
Didn't his brother getting drafted into Nam and then returning with PTSD and being treated like crap by the government and public have something to do with it?

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>>67231580
>George Soros funds Cobra.

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>>67231534
Cobra is funded by the US government to carry out attacks that give America justification to invade countries to "Increase stability"

>>67231534
Cobra is the 'hit squad' for the illuminati. Cobra is used by them to create chaos as part of their general agenda for the world. One of the perks of being illuminati stooges is infinite money.

>>67232489
Sounds about right

>>67231594
>IIRC, Cobra Commander started out as a used car salesman who got tired of the grind and decided to start Cobra as payback on the world for not letting him succeed the honest way. Didn't he turn his seed money into a shitload of Ponzi schemes and pyramid scams that made him, like, a billionaire?
Yes, and he did it in less than a year IIRC

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>>67231612
Bats are cool no matter who designs them

>>67231771
tfw the villain was right all along we just didn't know

>>67231771
His brother also died in a car crash.

>>67232684
Not really

>>67231534

Destro runs a major arms manufacturing company on the scale of Boeing, Lockheed, and Remington/Springfield/Smith & Wesson/Ruger all combined.

The Twins run a major corporation that rakes in billions in profit.

GI Joe nor the world governments ever freeze the assets of Destro or the Twins despite overwhelming evidence tying them to Cobra.

>>67233679
I could see a tabletop based on their designs alone

>>67232801
it's funny because at one point the twins just cancel their loans and support for cobra, and the whole thing just implodes.

>>67231534
>maintain any cash flow

The supercutie in the picture sells her bathwater.

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>>67231534
I think you're overthinking this toy commercial a bit

>>67231534
It's actually explained in the comics. They have shell companies that funnel them money through nearly untraceable means, as well as people infiltrated into various large companies and government organizations that can discreetly move money to them and hide the paper trail. One of the requirements for joining the Crimson Guard, Cobra's elite troops, is to have a degree in law or financing specifically because the CGs also double as their elite spies and infiltrators.

>>67233912
And yet they can’t win

>>67233970
Only those with blue lasers win

>>67233970
Almost like the writers are kinda biased against them.

>>67233782
GI Joes has a suprizingly deep lore in the comics, at least (the TV series...not so much). The guy who wrote them, Larry Hama, is a Vietnam vet so he knows military stuff, and wanted to write the comics with proper character development and running plotlines instead of just going where the fence was lowest and doing a bunch of toy commercials (although it's often obvious where the higher ups told him he had to somehow insert the newest toy into the comic, whether it makes any sense or not; I think the best example is Cobra Commander showing up driving the Pogo Ballistic Pod thing for all of two pages before it gets blown up).

>>67234047
I love how the tv show has a tradition of using cobra commander’s va for starscream

>>67233970
Isn't one of the other running themes about Cobra is that while GI Joe always manages to fuck up all his big plans, they can never catch all the little plans he's got going, which always end up growing into more big plans?

Like, GI Joe is always on the back foot. They have to win every single time, while Cobra's only got to win once.

>>67232540
AND Destro is like majorly rich, the Baroness is also fairly well off, AND rules a chunk of land.
Plus Cobra under their shell companies Arbco and the like, make a ton of money. Tomax and Xamot are not just the leaders of the Crimson Guard, they are also the co-CEOs of many of the businesses that Cobra runs.
Frankly Cobra has enough fingers in enough pies that if the corporations Cobra owns were taken down they would cause the economic collapse of the US and several other nations as well. Frankly Cobra could do a better job of taking over the world through their various legitimate businesses than through their terrorist activities.

>>67232632
the same car crash that killed Snake-Eyes's twin sister and parents. CC's brother was the drunk that hit them.

>>67232684
So, was Contra (Nicaragua, not the videogame) part of Cobra or was just a spinoff?

>>67232801
Destro's wealth wouldn't directly benefit Cobra, though, as he's an independent agent. He owns an arms manufactoring company and is unscrupulous enough to sell weapons to anyone with the cash, including international terrorist organizations. And since that makes him the only major arms manufacturer willing to sell directly to Cobra, Cobra ends up being his biggest customer. He maintains close ties to Cobra because of that, but Cobra still has to pay him for all the weapons he procures for them.

Eventually Destro even builds his own private military force (the Iron Grenadiers) and reduces his ties with Cobra.

>>67234974
What exactly do Cobra terrorist ops DO anyway? Like, in the 1980's GI Joe Movie there's this huge battle between them and the Joes over the statue of liberty. Like, what were they trying to do? Steal it? Blow it up?

>>67233679
You have to run down a 100 meter hallway filled with poison gas to even BECOME an Alley Viper!

this was my favorite trooper variant

>>67235042
>What exactly do Cobra terrorist ops DO anyway? Like, in the 1980's GI Joe Movie there's this huge battle between them and the Joes over the statue of liberty. Like, what were they trying to do? Steal it? Blow it up?
That's what the bombs attached to the Statue of Liberty were for, yes.

Turn your speakers up loud, boys:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=4Ah2I166f_U

>>67233757
GO HOME COBRA GIRL

>>67232540
I love that in every single continuity except the original cartoon, Cobra Commander is legitimately threatening and terrifying.

I also loved it when GI Joe Resolute implied it took place in the same continuity as the original cartoons and the Commander was play-acting being a moron back in the day trying to motivate his underlings, but finally got sick of their shit, decided to get serious, and blew up Moscow just to prove that he could.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Me-MbCfvP7c

>"And this is how I win the world...this juncture, of course, is usually where the wheels come off...but not this time. Cutting the traitor Major Blood's heart in half right here, right in this room, should have gotten the point across. It suited me, once, to appear weak and cowardly, because it motivated you "people" to think. But today...is a new day. There will be no moves to take over my command, there will be no mistakes - there will be none of your CRAP! NONE OF IT! Work with me, and I will give you the world in less than twenty-four hours. Work against me...and I will gut you like a fish."

>>67237631
Actually now that I think on it, whenever Cobra Commander himself came up with a plan in the original cartoon he tended to almost win, and the Joes frequently pulled victory out from their ass through blind luck rather than actual skill. Original Cobra Commander also listened to his underlings and took their advice into consideration, rewarded loyalty, and didn't tend to punish underlings for failures that they had no actual control over.

He was also a MUCH better leader than Serpentor because he had a much better grasp of strategy and logistics (Serpentor was just "Attack! Attack! Attack!") and always made sure to incorporate a way out into his plans, never overcommitting Cobra's forces. And Serpentor never listened to anyone unless they already agreed with him, and sometimes not even then, utterly convinced of his own superiority.

Cobra Commander was evil, but he was a pretty good leader. Y'know, within the context of Saturday Morning Cartoons.

>>67237631
The original comic Cobra was straight up nazis in all but name, with Cobra Commander being essentially American Hitler, only he wasn't able to legitimately get elected the leader of the country and instead founded a paramilitary/terrorist organization to further his goals.

>>67231534
What the fuck is Cobra's actual goal? I get muh world domination, but what's the actual point? What is his ideological underpinning?

My first figure was Cobra interrogator, I used to love that one

>>67237804
Everyone gets a snake motif

Could the Cobra Unit from MGS3 beat Cobra?

>>67237804
>What the fuck is Cobra's actual goal? I get muh world domination, but what's the actual point? What is his ideological underpinning?
Destabilize the world powers so Cobra-La can rise up from under the planet's surface and slaughter the monkeys that laid claim to their world.

>>67231534
They run a multi-level marketing program.

>>67231534
They're funded by israeli billionaires

>>67237804
In the comic Cobra Commander was a fascist wannabe-dictator who wants to impose his will on the rest of the world. He had a very social darwinist ideology where those with power had the right to do anything they could get away with, and one should seek to gain power through any mean necessary.
In the cartoon his motivation was never defined beyond being evil and wanting to take over the world, except in the shitty movie where they made him a member of an ancient race of snake-people who want to overthrow humanity and regain their place as the dominant species of the world (think Conan's serpent-men or DnD's yuan-ti, except dumber).

>>67231534
How does the US maintain a cash flow despite being constantly defeated by 3rd world shithole nations, from Haiti back in the 1800s to Vietnam and now the middle east.

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>>67238105

>>67231534
11 new people want to get into cobra, there is only space for one of them, who is chosen?

>Expelled Interpol field agent, fully trained in Interpol actions and procedures, highly skilled with a .45, speaks 3 languages, male.

>Long-career low-hierarchy triad assassin trying to break into the big time, 5 martial arts, Asian female.

>De-licensed medical surgeon, 17 year career, de-licensed for human experiments, some ties to the CIA, male.

>Advertising executive with many business skills, 3 languages, ties to the Italian and Russian mafia, male.

>Kyrgyz cosmonaut, fully trained in cosmonaut procedures and operations, speaks 2 languages, built a laser gun from parts in a junkyard, male.

>Demolition specialist, previously a member of ISIS, female from azerbaijan, speaks 2 languages.

>Sport-banned Thai Kickboxer, close-quarters-combat specialist, ties to the Thai mafia, male. 8 feet tall and benches over 500 pounds.

>Sport-banned Sumo Wrestler, previously a yakuza bodyguard, highly trained in many combat skills, but bad fashion taste (Hawaii shirts), Japanese male.

>Banned-from-practice psychologist, 16 year long career, female, highly trained, from Israel.

>Expelled Red Guard (P.R.O. China), long-career secret police member, numerous spycraft and combat skills male.

>Ousted CEO guilty of fraud extortion and embezzlement, a friend of CC in previous life (before cobra existed), speaks 7 languages, male from Namibia.

>>67231534
Mostly because they were arms dealers, and corrupt businessmen with their hands in a surprising amount of pies. The clear connection to Cobra comes from the fact some of them have diplomatic immunity, and othets because they're fronts on top of fronts.

>>67238551
The sumo wrestler. Nobody else has a hint of a wacky standout gimmick and he's got "fat guy in giant Hawaiian shirt". That's a start of something marketable.

>>67238750
Cosmonaut can probably get in, too, if he's willing to wear a Cobra-themed spacesuit 24/7.

>>67231534
No he’s an exiled snake man.

>>67231534
They're based in Springfield, right?
Is Mr. Burns financing them?

>>67238750
>>67238787
I like your answers, but Saturday morning logic aside, I'm trying to figure out who would realistically get picked out for acceptance.

Do you see any of them as redundant or just not really that useful?

>>67238750
>>67238787
They only need a wacky gimmic if they're named characters. If they're generic faceless soldiers then combat performance and willingness to follow a crazy snake-themed supervillain for money (and having a law degree if you want to get into the Crimson Guard) is all that matters.

If you want to be anything but a another something-Viper you better start working on a gimmick, though. Even Cobra's accountant dresses up as a bird, because apparently that was the best gimmic he could come up with (or Cobra is so desperate for a proper accountant that they hire the bird-furry who shows up to work wearing his fetish gear).

>>67238891
Anon, that is the realistic logic when talking about cobra

Cobra Commander is literally you either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain.

He was ready to start a grassroots campaign about the nonsense with way Vietnam Vets were being treated and how the American Dream turned into the American Nightmare.

And then his brother dies.

And something inside him snaps.

It's how he started to recruit people that were in the same place he was. Zartan. The Drednoks.

Then he found Doctor Mindbender, a dentist that wished to excise all his dark thoughts and instead removed all his goodness.

Mindbender is how CC gets most of his loyalty from his grunts, by the way.

>>67238891
bison wouldn't let sagat go work for cobra

>>67231588
I have to admit, CC in a suit an the Mirror Faceplate Helmet is a hell of a strong look.

>>67238978
Perhaps Bison sent Sagat to be a liason officer between cobra and shadowlaw.

>>67231534
Cobra was built on multi level marketing schemes and later on, sells Terrordromes internationally as air defense bases.

>>67231580
In Renegades, Cobra Commander was basically a combination of the Walton family, Steve Jobs, and the Koch brothers.

>>67233679
Every design the Alley Vipers ever got was great.

>>67233970
Except they did win, in that they formed their own Cobra Island free state they used to further destabilize the third world and profit from the warfare.

And shit, by the end of America's Elite, Cobra Commander was secretly the US Secratary of State.

>>67239112
That island was destroyed

>>67235042
well, they built a teleporter, to move troops as opposed to revolutionizing transportation of goods and services...
they built a couple different weather control machines to create super storms and hold the world hostage...
they created a serum that would gigantify crops for reasons...
they cloned dinosaurs because, ummm...

I'm starting to think Cobra was kinda dumb.

>>67239582
Well, the show was made to sell toys to kids and kids are dumb so...yeah.

>>67234974
oh, and I forgot, Dr. Mindbender was a dentist!
looking at the bills those guys charge, he probably supplied a HISS tank or 3.

ok, so, yes he DID try to create a new method of pain relief to use during dental procedures, and YES, he did test it on himself first, and yes, it DID technically drive him mad...
but it did provide Cobra with their finest brainwashing device, way better than the one developed by Dr. Venom

>>67236713
same here

>>67239582
>they created a serum that would gigantify crops for reasons...
hahaha imagine if Baroness or Scarlett got injected with that serum hahaha hilarious what kind of shenanigans would they get up to I wonder hahaha
kaiju fight between the two?

>>67238551
I went ahead and put together some info for each of these, in case anyone is thinking of using them for a campaign or a session.

>Expelled Agent
>Codename: Glad Stone
>Function: Internal-to-cobra Secret Police member
>Languages spoken: French, Arabic, Russian
>Gimmick: Black suit white shirt black tie red beret.
>Quote: "You are no longer needed." -gunshot-

>Triad assassin
>Codename: Golden Hawk
>Function: Anti-air / Anti-ground Assassin
>Martial arts: Eagle Kung Fu, Crane Kung Fu, Hawk Kung Fu, Bird Kung Fu, Ninjitsu
>Gimmick: Uses a gatchaman style cape to glide & a golden identity concealing ninja suit
>Quote: "Woosh. You died."

>De-licensed surgeon
>Code Name: The Skull
>Function: Back field staff member
>Science achievements: Strength enhancing surgeries, Cybernetic implant surgeries, insanity causing dart pistol
>Gimmick: To prove his cybernetics work he used them on himself, augmenting his eyes, ears, nose, lips, tongue, fingertips, and toes. This made his hair fall out and his scalp turn white.
Quote: "It's alive! oops! not anymore. (maniacal laugh),"

>Advertising exec
>Code name: Cross Word
>Function: Income acquirement
>Method: Usually subliminal images in advertising blitzes for cobra shell companies, also bank heists, insurance fraud, arson fraud, mail fraud, and money laundering.
>Gimmick: Dresses like a game show host, glitter covered jacket is actually anti-laser armor, show-offish tie has a concealed laser targeting marker at the end, lapel is a concealed gas sprayer, sunglasses are X-ray specs, shoes have pop-out toe knives, and pants blow up like a giant smoke bomb if lit on fire.
>Quote: "Gooood luck, Youuuu'llll NEED it!"

1 of probably 2 or 3.

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What Cobra REALLY needs is robots. But not any sort of robot, it needs mecha.

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>>67238551
>Expelled Red Guard (P.R.O. China), long-career secret police member, numerous spycraft and combat skills male.
muh realism-wise, this guy is the best, he is the most likely to survive whatever selection or training Cobra might want of him, really is the closest to this MGS3 quote:
>You know, we could use an infiltration unit like FOX in the army. Someone like him to handle our top-secret missions for us. A man who combines the qualities of a soldier and an agent.
he also can be picked because this is a patriotic toy series, which could use some token yellow peril bad guy in the current year

I'm kind of surprized that given the 80 and 90s nostalgia and the seeming return of the trend to make a tabletop RPG of just about anything, we haven't seen a GI JOE RPG.

I mean, it pretty much writes itself. The comic and the cartoon usually featured small team of Joes (suitable for a player group size) conducting special missions, and you could easily write a system of making your own Joes, rolling up some stats, giving them a primary and secondary specialization like the file cards always had, and handing them some wargear (i.e. the equipment the toy would've come with).

>>67239786
>You will never get sat on by a 200 foot tall Baroness.
Why live?

>>67240482
It had a card game

>>67240219
>Kyrgyz cosmonaut
>Code name: Slow Burn
>Cosmonaut training: Rocket-crew training, arming and disarming missile launching orbiters, nuclear fuel management and allocation, wielding machine gun & knife in open space, wielding machine gun & knife in low-g environment.
>Function: Space operations, laser and nuclear weapons
>Gimmick: Suffered radiation burns on 73% of his body, wears a heavily modified space-suit as all purpose all weather body armor. This space-suit armor once survived a land-mine blowing up less than 1 foot away with very, very minimal damage other than throwing Slow Burn across the room really hard.
>Quote: "No human being has known the pain I have known, there is no form of coercion that will work on me."

>Demolition specialist
>Code name: Sand-storm
>Function: Battlefield sapper
>Specializations: Building implosion, bridge implosion, manufacturing land mine, deploying land mine, disarming land mine, manufacturing suitcase bomb.
>Gimmick: She wears a burqa that is combined anti-bullet and anti-bomb blast armor.
>Quote: "I had a blast, didn't you?" -explosion-

>Sport banned kickboxer
>Code name: Tiger Ne (sounds similar to 'knee')
>Function: Soldier training, some combat operations
>Specializations: Unarmed vs armed close quarters combat, armed vs armed close quarters combat, Muay Boran training, Muay Thai training
>Gimmick: He looks extremely similar to Sagat, the main differences are; no scar, no missing eye, hair, and his name is stated to be Kiet Klahan Ne at one point.
>Quote: "Death." -in answer to a person's 'who is that' question during his introductory scene

>Sport-banned sumo wrestler
>Code name: Pine Apple
>Function: Grenadier, close quarters combat, bodyguard
>Specializations: Sumo Wrestler training, Judo Training, Grenadier training, Stick fighting training
>Gimmick: He wears outlandishly colorful attire and usually Hawaii shirts. He was born in Hawaii, despite his Japanese racial origin.
>Quote: "Have a knuckle sandwich."

>>67240570
>Banned from practice psychologist
>Code name: Silver Star
>Function: Income generation, some psychiatric work
>Usual means: Suicide cults, subliminal images in advertisements and other broadcasts, homicidal cults, hypnosis fraud, grafting, bribery, money laundering, sleeper agents, buying and selling psycho-pharmacological drugs.
>Gimmick: She dresses like a 'crystal energies' weirdo sci-fi villain and wears a headband with a large silver star in the center.
>Quote: "Oy such a deal I have for you!"

>>67240426
>Expelled red guard
>Code name: Red Mountain
>Function: Battlefield soldier / anti-special ops
>Specializations: Secret service training (Chinese), many heavy and light weaponry trainings
>Gimmick: He wears a green pantsuit that is secretly anti-blade / anti-bomb blast armor and very seldom talks.
>Quote: "A traitor's death." -said after roasting someone with a flame thrower, one of the few times red mountain ever talked 'onscreen' as it were.

>>67240570
>Ousted CEO
>Code name: Count Bancs
>Languages: Farsi, Italian, Spanish, Hindi, Namib, Greek, Tamil
>Function: Income generation
>Usual means: Head of a regional-level consortium of mercenary specialists known as Zanzibar Land, operating illegal mines (as in digging stuff mines), gold dealing, arms dealing, oil dealing, high finance scams, high finance graft and laundering.
>Quote: "You think I became the big boss just by luck?"

>>67240841
>>67240570
>>67240219
Love these; thanks a lot for writing them up!

NTA but I also feel that Slow Burn and Pine Apple would be the top recruits.

>>67231534
Cobra Commander's money schemes were the only times he was successful, if he needed to pull Cobra's ass out of bankruptcy.

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>>67240307
They tried it once, it was horrible. Bludd still still gets a funny twinge in his leg when it rains and can't pee standing up.

>>67240888
Slow burn was inspired, at least partially, by Metal Gear Solid 3's The Fury.

theme music for the fury
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CPQhYGJ0kY

>>67240426
That's kind of why I made all this in the first place, I wanted to take GI Joe in a more serious metal-gear direction. Not necessarily with the big mechs, I just meant more serious plotline period.

>>67241001
I assume you saw G.I. Joe: Resolute TV series, so just take it from there.

>>67241018
I didn't, actually, the only GI joe media I ever actually saw was the way back ages back original cartoon and the cartoon movie.

>>67241029
Then do it faggot.

>>67240970
Is he crushing him to death inside the cockpit?

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>>67240970
>once

There's been a couple of options for battle suits (such as the SNAKES and Power Fighters) and of course there's the Deviant Mech.

>>67241076
Why you gotta make it sound sexual?

>>67241001
>>67241018
>>67241029
>>67241039
Gi joe had the best commercials
https://youtu.be/Hsj3OYzwe5U

>>67231551
US buys guns from terrorists
It's like the old selling drugs for guns America did.

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>>67241097
Hell, there's been several comic crossovers. That wasn't the first and definitely not the last. Though IDW and Hasbro trying to create a Hasbro universe where all their properties run around together was a fucking flaming disaster. Rom was okay, at least, but Skywarp as a Joe was just nuts.

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>>67241076
Yeah, it was one of those "separate universe" crossover things so didn't have to keep people alive for long.

>>67236749
[patriotism intensifies]

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>>67241186
Oh sure, but you don't have to involve giant alien robots to have giant mech fights between Cobra and GI Joe.

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>>67233349

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>>67241222
>you don't have to involve giant alien robots
But where's the fun in that? Oh sure, no ancient alien derived Cobra technology but the ancient kingdom of Cobra-Lalalalalala is fine.

>>67241186
Please don’t post the new gi joe comics

>>67241281
Oh sure, crossovers are fun.

But yeah, you could go full into it.

Serpentor actually being a pretender transformer, crashing to prehistoric earth, raising the ancient empire of Cobra-La with his Cybertronian Sorcery and genetic manipulation. The empire eventually retreats underground after an uprising, with Serpentor himself getting interred in a sarcophagus and sealed away when he runs low on energon.
Millennia later, a used car salesman down on his luck, discovers the ancient civilization of Cobra-La, and using its treasure to fund his criminal enterprises, as well as recruiting the ancient soldiers and their technosorcery, he builds his terrorist army.

>>67241186
It was Thundercracker.

>>67241578
Ignore me, I confused Seekers again.

>>67234047
Know where I can find these comics? My usual website doesn't seem to have them

>>67242202
Firefly is the best.

>>67237722
My favourite cartoonish villain (though not a cartoon himself and also not the villain ) still has to be Kane from C&C

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>>67242379
It’s funny because he and storm shadow are really the only threatening people in cobra

>>67242451
>His fees are paid into a numbered Swiss bank account
>I don't know what that means so here's a guy giving him a suitcase full of cash

>>67238551
>female isis fighter
huwut? i thought it was only the kurds doin that stuff

>>67242470
I dunno, Firefly's stance there doesn't exactly look like he's about to take that briefcase. If anything, it looks like he's rejecting it with that hand position.

>>67241626
Yes, dumdum, Skywarp is purple, Rumble is blue.

Horrible jokes aside it's an easy mistake to make since Thundercracker also hangs out around humans in IDW, or did before they shitcanned the whole mess. Skywarp was just bitchier about it and basically just hung around until they could fix his teleportation ability, at least until the Power of Friendship™ had him (more or less) sincerely Yo Joe-ing. Not sorry to see the whole thing tossed in the garbage. It did raise a decent point, though, which is that limited crossovers are fine, especially since there's parity with Joes getting Autobots and Cobras getting Decepticons, but in an ongoing basis a giant alien robot on the team was just overkill for every other Joe mission that involved human adversaries. I mean Cybertronians yawn at RPGs and blue lasers aren't much better. There's some flavors you just shouldn't mix for every meal.

>>67242470
Well sure but sometime he has to deposit it himself, apparently. These are the kinds of lazy assholes you get stuck working for in international terrorism.

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>>67242451
Yeah they are the only ones that ever got anything done.

Firefly/Stormshadow > sweet sweet Baroness ass> the rest of cobra > joes

>>67232489
Reminds me a bit of Genocidal Organ

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>>67242701
Ahem snake eyes would like a word with you

>>67242538
I don't mind them existing in the same universe, but it has to make sense.

Even if it's something simple as Shipwreck pouring out a bottle of tequila after a pastel equine asks him for help.

>>67242874
I've played some weird mishmash games before, man, but it took something a lot stronger than tequila to fuel that weirdness.

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>>67242852
All arashikage get a pass. But stormshadow and firefly are still cooler than snake eyes, but I'll concede he is awesome and better than most cobra and joes.

>>67231534
Dude, they are obviously being funded by our government. Everytime they get defeated they get a bigger budget.

>>67243199
Got that backwards, my good chum. Cobra is paying the government to turn the frogs gay which makes them easier for snakes to eat. It's obvious, don't even question it.

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>>67243152

Grimlock would still kick their ass.

>>67243268
Grimlock was like, my hero growing up. He made being a savage sound cool.

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>>67231534
Baroness maintains a network of findommes and paypiggies.

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>>67243414
Sounds like canon to me

Reminder that when she was introduced, she was portrayed as a radical left-wing Symbionese Liberation Army-style agitation character because millionaire heiress Patty Hearst was in the news a few years prior

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>>67243414
So that's how Destro gets any with that metal face of his.

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Also damn, Gung-Ho has some good genes in his family

>>67242901
That's from the story board for an MLP movie in the 80s. They were going to ask for help from Optimus Prime an GI Joe.

Hasbro has wanted a crossover universe for DECADES.

>>67243536
I always thought it weird that they never made Gung-Ho gay.

I don't think anyone would complain...

Slightly off topic, but in high school, I ran a G1 Transformers game using Mutants and Masterminds.

Half Autobots, half Decepticons.

At suitably dramatic moments, I'd call time, play the bumper music and flip the card next to me to the other insignia.

>>67243673
You're a cool dude if true

>>67231534
Characters referenced can be seen here in linked posts, which are all by me.

>>67240219
>>67240570
>>67240841

Each episode is meant to take 1 sessions and be not more than 1 hour long, that's each is part of an overarching plot-line and all are in the same world.

01. "Skeleton Key"
While on routine joint training operations in a small Caribbean nation, the party finds themselves head to head against both Cross Word and Glad Stone when they discover a 17th century pirate's ancient clue that leads on a breadcrumb chase to a huge treasure ship called the HMS Typhoon.

02. "Dead drop"
A routine safe-escort mission runs seriously 'fowl' when Golden Hawk and a squad of bird themed cobra ninjas attempt an assassination, little does anybody guess their true target is a Joe from the show who is involved.

03. "A piece of peace"
Peace-keeping in a small weak Slavic country becomes progressively more difficult as black markets steadily slowly flood with cybernetic equipment, Baroness and The Skull are behind it.

04. "Hold-up"
After capturing a south American drug lord, the party finds themselves having to extradite the drug lord on foot when Sandstorm and Tiger Ne send bomb strapped cocaine'd up natives to murder everyone. The party and the drug lord must make it 11 miles north to get out of the country and get to safety.

05. "Relics"
An insertion-recovery-extraction mission in northwestern Greenland goes very wrong when Slow Burn and Destro show up to do a recovery mission of their own, both the Joe's and Cobra's target the same thing, a UFO unearthed by ice-melt.

06. "Chaos DC"
A senior member of the DNC commits suicide broad daylight. The party must investigate the cause (one of silver star's cults). Silver Star and Dr. Mindbender are using TV programs sent from a discontinued numbers station.

more

>>67243608
Well they were planning their own cinematic universe, since everyone has to have one these days (but not as badly as their own streaming service), however that appears to have crashed and burned. Dodging a bullet, really.

>>67243782
07. "Whirlpool"
A routine eavesdrop on low level cobra minions in montenegro mission is suddenly difficult and deadly when the party accidentally eavesdrops on a meeting between Count Bancs and an afghani imam. Red mountain will stop at nothing to eliminate the party, and somehow already knew about the eavesdrop mission.

08. "Change of heart"
A routine fight evil in a third world country mission goes badly wrong when a sudden regime change results in the government now being on the side of cobra, around mid-mission. Snake-eyes decides to attempt a rescue of the party, alone. Snake-eyes will face Golden Hawk in front of and on behalf of the party, and the first clue that she is someone from his past will be revealed.

09 "Truth or dare"
Small groups of people have been committing terrorism and then saying they are doing it on behalf of GI Joe, the party must travel to Tajikistan to investigate a successfully foiled terror-attack. Pine Apple and Sandstorm are sent to kill the failed terrorists. Glad Stone tries to shoot a party member with a heroin-addiction causing dart during this mission, but is otherwise uninvolved.

10. "Shadows"
A routine recover a wrecked vehicle goes wrong when the a chemical weapon on board the vehicle (a ww1 sub wrecked in the lousiana bayou) causes the party to fall into a coma, during which they have a dream-episode that they are fighting in ww1 against ww1-motiff cobra.

11. "Spaces"
Routine joint training operations in Nepal take a turn no one expected when Storm Shadow attempts to assassinate (but only injures) a very senior government Lama and the party must protect the hospital the lama is in from Red Mountain and a group of communist insurgents.

12. "The void"
Cobra is holding the capital of Iceland hostage with a soviet era missile launch orbit platform manned by Slow Burn and a group of cobra space-force soldiers. The party must go to space, board, and knock out the platform.

more

>>67243477
Gung ho had some fine sisters

>>67244199
13. "The defective"
Count Bancs's Zanzibar Land group (led in the field by Zartan) is believed to be helping one side of a black on black genocide in a third world African country. The party must investigate and gain evidence definitely linking the two.

14. "Corridors of Power"
Cross Word and Tiger Ne are secretly helping a very repressive candidate for President of Malaysia. The party must foil the scheme to install a cobra-friendly government, but do it discretely.

15. "Echo"
Silver Star is using broadcasts of popular music to control peoples minds in a south American country while being body-guarded by Pine Apple. The party must find her villa, storm it, and take her out (impossible, body double was there, not her).

16. "Blizzard"
A routine joint training exercise in Uzbekistan goes in a very unexpected direction when the party is given shelter (in an estate-house) by none other than Cobra Commander while a deadly blizzard rages outside. The party must escape, if they can, Tomax and Xamot play a 'the most dangerous game' style hunt and destroy 'game' with the party when they try to escape.

17. "Regular programming"
A violent video game created by Dr. Mindbender is responsible for several bombings in Kuwait, the party must survive Golden Hawk and Baroness having a who's the better assassin competition (with party as targets) and figure out the scheme and put a stop to it.

18. "The Mahjong Gambit"
The party must help get an informant out of hong kong before Red Mountain and Glad Stone close in on him and kill him meanwhile a huge celebratory holiday week is happening in the background. The informants information reveals the second clue that Golden Hawk is someone from Snake-Eyes background.

19. "Tomorrow's War"
Cybernetically enhanced people are experiencing cognitive malfunction and committing acts of terror without being in control of their own bodies. The Skull and Destro are behind it. The party must find them and stop it.

1 more

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>>67234843

>>67244764
Hey if it works

>>67244617
20. "Horror Movie"
A routine fight evil in a third world nation mission goes horrifyingly wrong when cobra sends body doubles of key GI joe members to fight the team. Cobra Commander is behind it.

21. "Operation Jumpkick"
While training in the Himalayas with Snake Eyes, the party finds themselves besieged by both Storm Shadow and Golden Hawk. Golden Hawk's true identity is revealed if she dies during this mission.

22. "Vengeance"
Slow Burn and a group of elite cobra soldiers seize a missile defense base in Antarctica, and start a countdown till they use Russian_Hacker.exe, a nuclear launch codes virus. (meaning it figures out the codes and uses them).

23. "Pipping the ace"
An opportunity to assassinate Count Bancs turns into a huge trap when the party finds themselves trapped in a high rise in Russia, facing off against Nemesis Enforcer, Pine Apple, and Sandstorm. Duke Togo (golgo 13) snipes one person to assist the party during this mission.

24. "Blight"
The ruins of one of Dr. Killemov's African-wilderness labs unexpectedly take center stage when a revolutionary group funded by cobra seizes the lab and begins to use the transformation drug there. Firefly and a group of body double cobra ninjas (all dressed like snake-eyes) attempt to steal the remaining formula. The party must eliminated the mutants and destroy the whole area with a 'football' nuke.

25. "Ave Imperator"
A ww2 era Nazi base in Norway is the site of what is meant to seem like the final conflict between the party and cobra, as both Destro and Cobra Commander are there. Do a fast insertion, storm the bunker, and eliminate both Destro and Cobra Commander. (impossible, both are intricate machine-doubles built by Skull, neither are actually there).

end of season 1

>>67242451
>that intro
The Stig as a Cobra agent when

>>67241578
no, man, Thundercracker quit the Decepticons to become a screen writer for Hollywood. not a successful one, sure, but still...

>>67242349
try readcomicsonline
look for G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero

I don't remember where I read it, but I once read a theory on the women of the G.I.Joe series...
Scarlett was the feisty red head that everyone wanted to hook up with.
Cover Girl was the model type that everyone lusted after.
Baroness was the sexy librarian type.
Lady Jaye was the girl next door.
and eventually, towards the end, Jinx the Asian hottie
all of them fetishized within an inch of their lives and marketed to impressionable young boys

>>67246044
This is something you had to read somewhere to figure out?

>>67237722
Serpentor has a reason to exist in the comics because he, to some extent, genuinely cared about the average cobra grunt and rose above the treachery and plots of CC.

>>67242202
>>67242379
Guy's got his priorities straight, and that makes him more believable than most of the other goons.

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>>67231594
>when you hate your job so goddamn much you start an international terrorist organization

>>67246179
I don't know about him but now I want to read it.

>>67232801
>GI Joe nor the world governments ever freeze the assets of Destro or the Twins despite overwhelming evidence tying them to Cobra.

I mean, the Saudis did 9/11 and Riyadh isn't a smouldering radioactive ruin, either. There's real life precedent.

>>67231594
I like how this criminal empire and basically terrorists probably has a bunch of telephone bots whose sole purpose is scamming old people into buying fake insurance.

>>67238551
1.Surgeon
2.CEO
3.Ad Exec
4.Cosmonaut
5.Red Guard
6.Assassin
7.Interpol
8.Pyschologist
9.Demolitionist
10.Kickboxer
11.Sumo
In general cobra has a glut of dumb muscle. They can train someone to beat people up well or shoot straight. They absolutely cannot get proper college education to their members making them extremely valuable before the large-scale infiltration and money gathering plans CC has. Formal training for practical, non-combat fields comes first then formally trained combatants. In terms of personality, Cobra is very much nepotistic but also pushes for the highly motivated and self-interested. If you want to advance just your own standing then you are very much wanted by cobra though you are also being watched to make sure you're not traitorous.

>>67246044
>Jinx the Asian hottie
>all of them fetishized within an inch of their lives and marketed to impressionable young boys
Well it worked I married an asian hottie that looks like Jinx.

>>67238093
>tfw you were oncccccccce a man

>>67231534

His dad owns a major multibillion dollar construction empire. He receives donations from millions of sympathizers world wide. Rumor has it even the Saudi royal family used to support him.

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>>67244764
>>67244956

>>67246633
Married a Pole who looks like the Baroness.

Not sure whether to be angry at being warped at such a young age or happy at what we wound up with.

>>67246500
I work at a call center so I don't find this surprising at all.

>>67246894
>Polish
>sexy librarian
You're a lucky man, you should be thanking Marvell Entertainment and yelling YO JOE! in bed every night.

>>67247140
I told her about the Baroness and she laughed and said she'd cosplay in the outfit if I bought it for her, but it's hard finding something that isn't cheap Chinese shit.

>>67246989
Ah yes, I can see it now. "Gentleman! Behold my latest plot to take over the world... THE ELECTROTRONIC ROBO-DIALER! At all hours of the day or night, even weekends, the hapless fools of this world will be inundated by call after call soliciting services they never sought offered by people whose accents are so thick not even people from that same country can understand them! There will be no respite, no escape from our insidious schemes! With the lines of communication crippled no one will be able to call for help! Corporations will be unable to place telephonic orders! Economies will crumble! The President will be unable to order tactical strikes! THE WORLD WILL BE AT OUR KNEES! And if this doesn't work we can always fall back on Operation Nigerian Prince, just as soon as we get another AOL CD offering three months free subscription."

>>67247271
>THE ELECTROTRONIC ROBO-DIALER!

Not enough snake elements in the name; clear Joe false flag op.

>THE ELECTROHISSTRONIC ROBO-PYTHON-DIALER!

Okay, now I believe it.

>>67245077
I dont run rpgs but I want to say your stuff is pretty nice.

>>67247388
Thank you. Is there anything in specific that you like about it?

>>67247362
Well this wasn't Cobra, just was a random telemarker anon driven to international terrorism but also for some reason apparently set in the mid-90s for some reason?

>>67247422
Probably the fact that I could definitely see the scenarios posted as actuall episode of the show. Its also all pretty inventive, definitely way better than what I would come up with.

>>67231534
Will cartoon villains ever get kickass themesongs like Cobra Commander's ever again?

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dkegaob-waM

Also listen carefully, sounds like the guy shouting "COBRA" is having the time of his life.

>>67247594
Now I'm imagining a Cobra-Chan lead by Cobra Chanmander joined by Christopher "Mootbender" Poole and W. T. Snackstro. Unfortunately there is no Chanoness because as we all know there are no girls on the internet, now tits or GTFO.

>>67247271
In my case it's more a matter if "Fuck this job. I'll put a blue sack over my head, go with a serpent themed organization with all kinds of weirdos who get their asses beat by other weirdos who claim to work for the US government or whatever, rather than stay here another day!"

>>67247813
Does that make Hiroshimoot Storm Shadow?

>>67248552
A faceless asian with no honor who sold us out to Ukranian malware farmers? Sounds about right.

>>67248653
Wasn’t storm shadow tricked into helping cobra?

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>>67236713
Mine were the python vipers

>>67246595
Were there any other considerations that went into your set of choices beyond just their skills? I tried to give them a small bit of background too, you can see that at >>67240219 and it's replies.

Just curious.

>>67231534
Hot Take:
Cobra is secretly redpilled as fuck and is actually the good guy fighting against the Illuminati masters behind the Joes

>>67248906
Destro: "See that man holding his gun like he wants to stab someone with the magazine? That's not how you use my guns! Stop that shit!"

>>67249466
Is that a camera lens?

>>67248552
No. Storm Shadow only joined Cobra to kill Zartan.

Hiro is more like Serpentor, a later addition designed to replace the original leadership.

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>>67249090

>>67247245
but the cheap chinese shit, it will be ruined when you rip it off her with your teeth anyway

>>67246594
And Cobra being Cobra, I'm pretty sure those are literal telephone bots. As in they have a bunch of battle android troopers sitting in cubicles and making phone calls to people to ask for their credid card information.

>>67235029
The funny thing is that Destro's company is headquartered in the UK, so in this world the British military would be funding and buying the iconic Cobra equipment.

>>67245915
Thanks. That's actually what I was using but I seem to have forgotten the . in G.I. and didn't notice because I still got a couple results.

>>67238551
Who has the coolest codename?

>>67231534
Is cobra basically the precursor to the brotherhood of NOD?

>>67231534
Cobra has their hands in everything. They skim off organized crime, African warlords, mid-east wars, if there's something involving death and destruction odds are they're taking a skim.

>>67248906
>americans in brdm

>>67238551
The kickboxer, because he makes the best toy rivaled only by the sumo wrestler who they don't have a mold to recycle for.

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>>67238551
>Sport-banned Thai Kickboxer, close-quarters-combat specialist, ties to the Thai mafia, male. 8 feet tall and benches over 500 pounds.
Wait a minute...

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>>67249493

I that's a Televiper. So presumably yes, to give commanders a real time view of the battlefield.

>>67252880
Who the hell are those two assholes in the back lol

>>67242538

I think there was an crossover in the Transformers cartoon. Though the cartoon was set far in the future and Cobra Commander was just "Snake".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDwTDndm4b8

>>67253512
OC Donut Steels as the image is the cover of the Street Fighter RPG.

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>>67253618
Yeah, it also had a cameo of future Flint (well, actually an illusion of him), and we see Daina of the Oktober Guard in one second season episode.

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>>67252842
Hey, maybe they'll still have the mould for E. Honda.

>>67248953
Cobra has some cute women

You know, I get the idea that GI Joe is made up of specialists and the like.

But why don't they also have grunts?

Sure, sure. GI Joe works better in small teams, but it occurs to me that in some cases they would be working with army platoons or the like.

(And the USS Flagg has to have regular sailors, it is a [modified] Nimitz-class Aircraft Carrier.)

>>67231534
Season 2 coming sometime today.

>>67245077
>>67244617
>>67244199
>>67243782

>>67255560
They do. They’re in the show

>>67231534
selling heroin

>>67231534
the same way Professor Xavier keeps rebuilding that mansion

>>67256611
>he doesn’t remember when gi joe and cobra teamed up against drug lords

>>67252730
That's what I was thinking, I wouldn't be surprised if that's where the boys at Westwood got their inspiration

>>67241202
>patriotism
Wasn't G.I. Joe a NATO program?

>>67236749
Cobbraaaa
COOOOOBBRAAA

tell me you wouldn't join that fucking cult

>>67238551
I cant believe nobody answered the Asian Female assassin, Cobra needs more femme fatales and is always losing ninjas

>>67256799
Only in the live action movies, but in the tail end of ARAH they did add a few British and Russian characters.

>>67257086
The Russian characters weren't part of G.I. JOE, though, but October Guard, the Soviet equivalent of the Joes. IIRC the British character was an SAS soldier sent to the Joes for cross-training, so he was at least technically a Joe.

In the UK version of the line, back when it was still called Action Force* they had some more non-American characters because they changed the nationalities of some characters.

*Originally Hasbro, rather than selling G.I. JOE toys in the UK, gave some British company the license to use the moulds of the toys. They released used them to make a toyline called Action Force, which had its own story and characters while using repainted and remodeled G.I. JOE figures. Later when Hasbro started releasing the original G.I. JOE toys in UK, they initially kept the Action Force name and altered the backstory slightly to make them an international team instead of purely American. Later they dropped the localization entirely and just started releasing the toys with the same brand and packaging in US and UK.
This isn't actually the only localized version of G.I. JOE they did; in Canada they replaced all the American flags on the toys with Canadian ones (no idea if they also changed the tagline to "Real Canadian Hero").

>>67257518
Didn’t France have one?

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>>67252730
>>67256653
Scratch that, they're definitely based on Cobra

>>67257518
I thought Red Star and Big Bear may have been Joes.

>>67257518
Oh, also, they didn't change the subtitle, although they did start changing birthplaces later on to Canadian cities.

>>67245077
Season 2.

26. "Balances"
Cobra is believed to be trafficking nuclear material (element samples etc, not bombs) to a low-threat middle eastern nation, the party must investigate and find evidence that this is happening before they act directly. Tomax and Xamot are behind it.

27. "The oppressed"
A prominent left-wing politician commits suicide for no reason after winning an election for president in a south American country. Silver star is using a subliminal sound sent through iphones to control people.

28. "Fearful symmetry"
A monster created by The Skull and Dr. Mindbender using some of Zartan's DNA 'breaks out' (was let loose) of a lab in the everglades, the party must find it and terminate it. The monster is carrying a dangerous and very contagious illness. The Tyrant (resident evil) guest stars as the monster.

29. "Pay to Play"
An eavesdrop on low level minions in Egypt mission goes very wrong when the party accidentally eavesdrops on a meeting between Destro and a major leader of F.A.R.C. (Columbia). Glad Stone and a group of 'Road Block' cobra body double soldiers will stop at nothing to eliminate the party.

30. "Collections"
A routine intervene against African slave traders mission goes very wrong when the party discovers that slaves are being used to mine an illegal thorium mine. Count Bancs (personally) is behind it, body guarded by Tiger Ne and a cobra soldier force.

31. "Bees"
A cobra experimental chemical results in bees going berserk wherever it is used, the party must travel to a third world nation and must both guard and interrogate Zartan, who is in hospital with over 500 bee stings after a terror attack didn't exactly work as planned, while Red Mountain and Glad Stone have a who's the better sneaky bastard competition to try and murder the party and Zartan.

more

>>67236749
Not pictured: the flaming wreckage of the Cobra airship crashing across New York City, starting untold fires as well as secondary explosions from Cobra vehicles, munitions, and fuel canisters.

>>67256620
Mind controlling the bank for another loan?

>>67249778
>gets shot in the mouth and still is a pilot
I can see why he’s a favorite

>>67261881
32. "Garbage day"
A routine multi-terrain combat training mission in the sierra madre mountains goes very wrong when Firefly and a group of mercenaries track and relentlessly attack the party. Each mercenary knows something critical about cobra, Firefly's mission is to make sure they all die, he retreats if he completes his mission.

33. "The pits"
A routine recover a downed fighter plane mission to an island off the north coast of Russia results in the party discovering a secret cobra base in an abandoned copper pit-mine there. The base is a B.A.T. production center under the command of Slow Burn.

34. "B movie"
A routine fight against drug cartels mission goes seriously strange when the party finds themselves hallucinating Nemesis Enforcer everywhere. Silver Star and Cross Word are behind it, using a modified cable tv dish and a broadcast array.

35. "The innocent"
A routine fight against evil in a third world country mission becomes horrifyingly twisted when the party and members of GI joe find themselves under attack by coked up child soldiers. Tiger Ne is behind it. Jimmy Saville guest stars as one of Tiger Ne's clients.

36. "The Guilty"
A war criminal is offered asylum by Cobra, and launches a prison-takeover to escape to Cobra. The party must prevent the war criminal from reaching a helicopter that arrives at the under-siege prison late in the mission. If they fail this mission Cobra gains a new member who will be scene in future episodes.

more, but possibly later on today

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>>67238994
The IDW Cobra series agreed. Look at this suave motherfucker.

>>67262547
Too bad idw raped it

>>67262681
What, you didn't like Cobra Commander being the Dread Pirate Roberts?

I like how both Brotherhood of Nod and Terror Troops from Micro Machines are so clearly based on Cobra, and those baddies from Blood Dragon as well.

>>67262428
Decided to go ahead and finish it up since theres not really that many more.

37. "Heritage"
A routine recover a wrecked vehicle mission to King William's Island Canada takes a turn for the worst when Cobra Commanders daughter, Ice Queen (arctic operations specialist femme fatale) makes her debut. Both Cobra and Joe's goal is to recover a prototype unmanned mini-sub with a lot of espionage capabilities.

38. "Pinpoint Strike"
After a main character Joe's son is declared missing after a routine training mission accident, a video surfaces on the internet of Glad Stone executing someone who appears to be the son. The party must find, capture, and question Glad Stone before the father, now a rogue agent known as The Punisher, eliminates Glad Stone. (son didn't actually die, but won't be seen again for at least 4 episodes).

39. "4d-Chess"
Chessmasters from all over the world are vanishing, and have been tracked to one specific location, an island off the coast of Thailand. M. Bison guest stars as a non-cobra villain who is behind this. His goal is to use them to build an extremely powerful computer.

40. "Beholder's Eye"
Footage surfaces of a member of the party murdering several innocent people. That party member must weather a court martial while the rest of the party races to find evidence that they didn't do this. Ex members of cobra (not main members unless they are) are among the witnesses called. Another new cobra member, Crooked Man (law and contract specialist, JAG training) is behind it, with Silver Star's help.

41. "Bitter Pill"
A routine quarantine an outbreak mission in a second-world country goes seriously wrong when people start turning up in a zombie like condition and trying to eat everyone. Count Bancs' Zanzibar land group is behind it, a tainted medicine is causing the deadly behavior.

42. "Field Test"
A prototype gas grenade's explosion causes the party to have a hallucinated-mission that they are being hunted by Jason Voorhees.

more

>>67263204
43. "Serpentor" pt 1.
Cobra has been very quiet for a long time. A group of medical professionals who all had ties to The Skull are dropping off the map one by one, but all signs point to it not being cobra. The party must follow the breadcrumb trail.

44. "Serpentor" pt 2
The party must storm cobra island, rescue the prisoners, rescue the medical people who are all there, and knock out cobra once and for all before Serpentor is unleashed. The Joe's son who vanished earlier in the season is 'Serpentor' (not really, he simply believes he is), and is the main enemy for this mission.

Note: both parts 1 and 2 are a gigantic red herring, Serpentor is being made at an Antarctic base, but won't be seen 'onscreen' as it were until season 3.

end of season 2

>>67260614
There was one canadian born joe before they started that. Backstop, the Persuader driver, was born in Canada (somewhere in Quebec I think, Laval maybe) but got kicked out of all the hockey leagues for fighting and it ended up with the family moving to I think Detroit.

>>67255560
One of the original joes was literally named Grunt. His specialty was infantry as was Footloose's. Gung-Ho and Leatherneck were both listed as marine. Plus you had the Steele Brigade (create a joe mail in) so they technically could be considered a legion of grunts and there was a greenshirts set of figures at one point.

>>67262940
The fat black woman and commie writer

>>67231594
what the fuck is this for real

>>67264478
Yeah that was his original gen 1 season 1 ep 01 background. Why they changed it I don't know.

>>67237804
His goal is to troll the U.S. government and their allies. Not even to take over;, he just wants to hang around and make them all as miserable as possible while making money off their misery.

>>67231534
Cobra is actually being covertly funded by the CIA, and they are only ever in conflict with GI Joe because the government is incompetent and the departments don't talk to each other.

>>67262681
The Chuckles mini series was great.
I was hoping after the death of his brother the twin would end up seeing and talking to his brother (only when no one was around.) So that for a while it would also mess with the readers.

>thread still lives
ok ill stop lurkinating

I can VA, problem with twitch is copyrights... if I do cobra in entirety I'd probably be flagged

right?

>>67266253
I don't know twitch, I'm not sure, but I think you should do it anyway.

>>67266277
Dr Claw, Cobra, Cave of Wonders down, working on megatron next. Takes half an hour to get the nuances. VA is hard.

>>67244764
This is why snake eyes is a badass. Sure, he knows all of those fancy martial arts, but at the end of the day, he won't swordfight someone unless he has to.

>>67266318
Oh trust me I understand, writing the lines is hard, doing them is hard, it's all hard. Have you seen the various 'episode' adventures in this thread?

Might give you some idea of a context or an overarching plot and possibly make it easier on you by allowing you to do slightly less thinking.

>>67266390
imagine dr.claw saying
"Fail for me!" as the screen pans to mow down someone in a game...

I imagine cobra doing a "impeccable imbecil!" and many other c's as s's "cynical stupor!", I can do the s's, hard to not do them as cobra!
>too late to insert a vocaroo

>>67266318
I’ve always wondered how to get into va stuff. I can do Sméagol, stitch, and different accents

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>>67239786
This isn't TOTAL SPIES anon...

>>67240307
They got an Urban combat Mech in 2010, prior to that the had the S.N.A.K.E Armor and Valor vs Venom had the Pulverizer.

>>67266804
use music with a headset to trick yourself to do voice tuning

lower vocals is hard, and do only water/soft food for 1 week prior otherwise you get throat infections like mad

>>67234974
>Frankly Cobra could do a better job of taking over the world through their various legitimate businesses than through their terrorist activities.
Well yeah, obviously. I guess thats what happens when an apparently super genius and super charismatic individual like CC mentioned here >>67231594 and here >>67232540 gets deeply disillusioned with society at large. Sure, Cobra Commander has accumulate a greater sum of power and control over the system to reasonably claim he rules it, but he also hates it and would rather terrorize the world than rule, so that's what he does. He disdains and spits upon the very idea of legitimacy, he wants to be an eternal and irremovable thorn in the side of humanity, not its dear leader.

>>67263440
these are great, would watch

>>67256631
Drugs are bad, hmmmkay kids?

>>67256631
I thought it was the COPS show set in the same universe?

>>67256631
>>67268110
>DiC animated series
When Duke and a Crimson Guard discovered they both had relatives who were victims of Headman's drug dealing (Duke's brother, Lt. Falcon, and the Siegie's sister), they decided to join forces in order to make Headman fall. Duke and the D.E.F. fought side-to-side with Cobra and, in the final battle, headman tried to kill the Joes and Cobras with a massive drug overdose, but his overdose backfired to him. The dying Headman activated the self-destruction of his base and, even though the D.E.F. and Cobra escaped, Headman died, buried by his own base (the only confirmed death in the animated continuity)

>>67242852
"The mute would like a word with you"

>>67266253
>I can VA, problem with twitch is copyrights... if I do cobra in entirety I'd probably be flagged
Just do a vocaroo you dumb fag

>>67231534
It operates on stock dividends and Sorosbux.

>>67267444
Season 3 sometime soon.

>>67262041
>Not pictured: the flaming wreckage of the Cobra airship crashing across New York City, starting untold fires as well as secondary explosions from Cobra vehicles, munitions, and fuel canisters.
The Statue of Liberty is located on Ellis Island.

>>67263440
Season 3

45. "Lightning strikes twice"
A devastating blitzkrieg attack on a military base in Utah leads the party to discover the real Cobra Commander (serpentor pt 2's CC was a machine-double), is at large and is using a Cobra UFO.

46. "Special Effects"
A popular Hollywood movie director leaves behind a baffling video-confession after committing suicide. The party must discretely investigate a fitness retreat being run by Silver Star.

47. "Monsters"
A routine fight evil in a second world country mission goes horribly wrong when it appears that aliens (actually severely mutated humans) are invading the country. A new Cobra member, Deviator (genetic engineering, many other science skills), is behind it.

48. "Vela"
A routine help a country recover from a tsunami mission gets very conspiratorial when it is determined that the tsunami was caused by a non-state actor doing a nuclear test underwater. The party must find and destroy a hidden sub-pen base in Madagascar. Cobra is behind it.

49. "Second Fiddle"
After a financial falling out, Cobra and Isis begin a secret war (against each other) in a weak middle-eastern country. Count Bancs' Zanizbar Land group is behind it, and is posing as both Isis and Cobra in an insurance fraud scheme.

50. "Antiques"
A subliminal radio signal used by Cross Word causes the party to have a dream-episode that they are fighting in the Korean war against 50s-motiff Cobra. The Cobra Unit (metal-gear-solid 3) guest stars as the main enemies of the episode.

51. "The Hot Gates"
An experimental form of virtual training suffers a glitch and the party finds themselves fighting the same battle over and over again, Thermopylae, against Cobra. The party must figure out this is not real and get out.

more

>>67274711
I'm enjoying these; thanks a lot for posting them!

>>67274732
Is there any one episode you thought was especially good or bad?

>>67274711
52. "B-52"
A routine recover a wrecked vehicle mission in northern Canada goes terribly wrong when the party finds that Ice Queen and Slow Burn are on a recovery mission of their own, the mutual target a B-52 (crashed and froze over in the late 60s), carrying a deadly nerve agent.

53. "Conspiracy"
A declassified set of files from the 40s reveals that Cobra and GI joe were once under the same commanders, worldwide-leadership level Illuminati members. The party must dig as hard as possible to try and figure out if this is true or not. Crooked Man is behind it.

54. "Severity"
An incredibly brutal insurgency in an Asian country is poised to make Tiger Ne a head of state. The party must quash the revolutionaries and prevent a cobra-friendly government from being installed.

55. "The Deep"
Routine sea-to-land insertion training off the coast of Greenland is interrupted when Cobra tests a new type of submarine by sinking the joe's return-home boat. The party must survive long enough for the secondary boat to arrive. Great White (sea operations command, a member of Zanzibar Land, subsidiary to Cobra) is behind it.

56. "Pillars of the Earth"
A major Joe is accused of being a major Cobra member's father. The party must assist in proving this isn't true before GI Joe's image is tarnished forever. Crooked Man and Deviator are behind it.

57. "Outlook Foggy"
Routine joint training operations in Romania get seriously scary when the party is forced to take up shelter in a ruined castle that may or may not be haunted, while an intense mountain storm rages outside. Nosferatu guest stars as the main opponent of this episode.

58. "Lost Time"
Cross Word and Destro use a subliminal sound during the airing of the superbowl to make members of GI joe have several classic 'UFO abductee' symptoms. The party must help determine what is wrong, and fix it if possible.

more, but most likely later

>>67274130
Debris can travel quite a distance especially from an aerial explosion. How far exactly do you think Ellis Island is from New York City? But hey, maybe you'll get lucky and the bulk of the flaming wreckage will land in Jersey City.

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>>67242451
>>67242470
>not just a shot of him in a mask and a business suit making a call instead of a cliche money suitcase

>>67274752
I've only reflected over "the second world", it might fit the tone but technically it doesn't exist anymore since it means communist-aligned nations in the cold war and the episodes seem to take place in our contemporary time

>>67275274
That would be pretty funny if collateral damage was actually Cobra's primary goal since let's be honest there are much easier ways to destroy the Statue of Liberty than jetpacking their own Commander in with a ridiculous time bomb. They could have just used a rocket and killed all the Joe's conveniently waiting in the torch. Or since they had a ship overhead just dropped bombs. It's too easy to imagine some senator saying, "Well sure the GI Joe team defeated Cobra but look at how much damage was caused by blowing up that ship. It'll take millions of dollars and years to clean up all this wreckage, not to mention the environmental impact! We need to rein in these cowboy antics!" And the fucker probably wouldn't even be on Cobra's payroll either!

>>67270769
IIRC Cobra Commander was swayed to support this team up with the promise of plundering Headman's vaults. The comic verison of Headman's cartel had them set up shop in one of Cobra's "company towns" since they knew the feds would not go in. Though it begs the question of why they didn't fear COBRA milita from gunning them down out right.
>>67266858
Looks like Destro made a weapon to surpass metal gear! I wish Kojima would make a GI Joe game.

>>67262068
>>67256620
The institute is a private school for mutant kids who imagine what the tuition is

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Essential listening

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jROeHoHpQ7Q

>>67231534
>Is cobra commander some mystical mage or something
no, he's a reptoid alien

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>>67233912

So does anyone else remember that issue where Ace got into a dogfight with Wild Weasel?

>>67280558
The one where they both have a kick ass dog fight and salute each other after running of ammo?

>>67280629
Yep, that one. I don't really have much to say about it; just wanted to bring it to the attention of some of the less knowledgeable posters.

>>67271445
refer to
>>67266318
>>67266435
>23:02:37 time
not feeling like turning on the main computer to vocaroo in a dying thread
>277 posts

>>67274980
59. "Operation Karate Chop"
Bruce Lee guest stars as a martial arts person who joins a crooked competition run by Pine Apple, the party must guard and protect Bruce from Golden Hawk's relentless assassins. Bruce Lee joins GI Joe under the code name 'Iron Fist' towards the end of this episode.

60. "High Noon in Nanjiang"
Red mountain appears out of nowhere and relentlessly tracks, observes, and battles the party, trying to hamper them in every way possible during what was supposed to be a routine guard a diplomat mission.

61. "Resurrections"
'Body doubles' of long dead or defeated members of Cobra are used by Serpentor (the real serpentor this time) to hold a NASA secret launch base hostage, demanding a ransom of 300 million dollars, and threatening to release Anthrax via a space-launch. (little does serpentor know that the 'body doubles' are actually corpses brought back to life by deviator and skull).

62. "Power Play"
A routine guard an important person mission becomes very complicated and very dangerous in a very unexpected way when the person guarded, Prince Louis Henri Phillipe D'alsace Guisard Derontgy-tyrell (royal family Luxembourg), is all set to marry none other than Ice Queen, though she is in a civilian persona for this episode (and avoids fighting or terrorism). The party must try to put together convincing evidence to dissuade the prince. If they fail, Ice Queen retires from Cobra to live a life as an Illuminati super-elite.

63. "Oil Spill"
A routine help safely clean up a really large oil spill mission becomes sickeningly strange when several heavily mutated, mutilated bodies are found amid the oil slick. The bodies are failures thrown out by Deviator. Slow burn is sent to eliminate all evidence, including any Joes that know anything.

64. "Accident"
During routine helicopter insertion training in a small African country, the party finds themselves shot down by none other than Glad Stone. He hunts them relentlessly and must be defeated.

>>67282084
65. "Pontus"
The Antikythera mechanism guest stars as the treasure everyone's after when a working mechanism is found on board a roman merchant marine vessel, The Pontus. The Joes must protect the ancient treasure while it is being transported to the Grand Museum (Vatican see). Several cobra and non cobra villains attempt to steal it.

66. "High Stakes"
Count Bancs challenges the party to a computerized internet chess game, Zanzibar Land holding very numerous people hostage, none of whom are real (though this isn't revealed in-episode), the stakes are the hostages lives if the party loses.

67. "Machinations"
Scrap Iron makes his debut as a Cobra who has built a working Maus tank with modern technology. Serpentor uses several Cobra Commander body doubles in fighter ships made up to look like UFOs for Cross Word to start selling the Tanks to frightened world powers. The party must find and destroy the production center so that no more tanks can be made.

68. "The Glamour"
While under deep cover on a leisure ship, the party encounters 'Destro' (civilian persona, avoiding fighting or terrorism, no metal mask), who challenges them to a high stakes baccarat game. The 'destro' is a machine body double, it explodes (as in bomb explodes) with extreme force if the party loses the game, sinking the ship and killing hundreds.

69. "Out of one..." pt. 1
Cobra is dissolving, to many people have tried to become the leader and to many people are loyal to specific members and not cobra overall, the party must deal with numerous enemies as last ditch efforts are made by many factions to wipe out GI Joe.

79. "...Many." pt. 2
Cobra is no more, it dissolved into several new groups, Hydra, A.I.M., The Sarkic cult, Black Cross, and the Brotherhood of Nod. Facing new enemies and old menaces in new places and times, will the GI Joe's struggle against evil ever end?

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I love GI Joe Reloaded. Only a 14 odd issue run, but it's a reimagining, with Cobra as a very sly uprising born about from disgruntled patriots, wannabe jihadists, and those with nowhere to turn.

They've spent years buying businesses and companies, making sure those that would not sell end up dying in unfortunate accidents. Meanwhile they've got spies in every major military instillation, and are able to take over a nuclear installation in Hawaii. Really good shit.

PORK CHOP SANDWICHES

>>67270769
Sounds neat

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>>67281249
>>67280629
>>67280558
G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero issue 34

>>67285737
You know they're both thinking
>FUCK YOUUUUU
as hard as they can, all the while trying to conceal matching boners.

>>67278759
It makes me wonder how anyone with a higher education or is on the same social/economic level as those of the Crimson Guard would ever join Cobra. Do they ever explain this?

>>67286251
Because rich people are bad, obviously.

We know they're bad because they have money.

And money is the root of all evil, comrade!

>>67232801
Destro sells arms to the US through shell companies, who equip a special mission force to always be ready to respond to Cobras threat.

Cobra is the military industrial complex's false flag unit that creates a need for all these weapons.

>>67285737
Absolutely epic moment.

>>67286251
Recruit talented young men that would not be able to get that higher education without the financial aid that Cobra provides. With their financial empire it also gives these people legitimate and well paying jobs and a route for advancement in these companies. They don't need to start out as wealthy and respected, Cobra can make them that later.

>>67231534
3 whole seasons of GI Joe adventures. All of these are meant to be just 1 session long (except for a few 2 parters).

>>67243782
>>67244199
>>67244617
>>67245077
>>67261881
>>67262428
>>67263204
>>67263440
>>67274711
>>67274980
>>67282084
>>67282848

Happy gaming tg.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=RkPEHM38_DA

>>67233970
>And yet they can’t win
Look at the world around you.

Tell me Cobra didn't win and you aren't living in the aftermath

>>67286251
>It makes me wonder how anyone with a higher education or is on the same social/economic level as those of the Crimson Guard would ever join Cobra. Do they ever explain this?
...money? power? The same reason 99% of people go into politics?

>>67289685
Quite easily. Cobra would be a lot more liberal than my current government.

>>67290919
Where would that be?

>>67235029
hey as someone who essentially only knows about this shit through memes and like two episodes as a kid, why is destro metal?

>>67238093
>except in the shitty movie where they made him a member of an ancient race of snake-people who want to overthrow humanity

dude what

>>67238964
>If you want to be anything but a another something-Viper you better start working on a gimmick, though. Even Cobra's accountant dresses up as a bird, because apparently that was the best gimmic he could come up with (or Cobra is so desperate for a proper accountant that they hire the bird-furry who shows up to work wearing his fetish gear).


muh sides

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>>67294646
They wanted a new bigger villain to sell toys, snake men were all the rage. The guy in charge of names came up with the placeholder "Cobra-La" but wasn't able to come up with something else before the executives saw it and loved it.

>>67294545
Usually because he has a metal mask.

At least in one crossover, it's because he's a motherfucking cyborg.

>>67294545
It’s a helmet that’s traditional in his family. They had an ancestor who sold weapons to both sides in a conflict and was punished with being made to wear a metal mask.

>>67243152
what's the deal with this chick?

>>67246418
tell me more

>>67294833
Extremely smart, extremely skilled, femme fatale you don't fuck with, several millions of dollars in finances. She -might- be destro's lover, but I don't know if that was ever really very clearly stated.

>>67285737
I've always loved that cobra seems to exclusivily use a10s with a tail gunner for thier entire airforce

>>67296146
Wild Weasel wouldn't have it any other way.

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>>67294884
You forgot fine foxy lady.

I'm sure this has already been mentioned, but Cartoon Action Hour is an RPG specifically designed to simulate 80's Saturday morning cartoons. It includes mechanics for vehicles, transforming machines, and of course the plot armor of the big heroes on the screen.

Someone has posted a good number of character designs in the thread and I'd love to stat them out. If anyone wants to snag a copy, check the trove thread.

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>>67241001
>>67241018
You people are idiots. If you want G.I. Joe to be more Metal Gear-ish, you can't just have gimmicky operators and seriousness. You also need abrupt shifts into inane wackiness that are initially moodbreaking but turn out to be so frequent that their moodbreaking ends up being part of the mood.

>>67248897
Yes. The ties to other organizations such as the yakuza sumo wrestler were considered but given that it was never stated just what those ties are and how valued he is to their organization i, ultimately, disregarded it. If he's just some low level enforcer that can get word in i don't care because Cobra likely already has some line of communication with major players they actually care about. And crime rings are, at the end of the day, opposed to terrorist organizations as the status quo generally suits them while exploded business fronts do not. Beyond that, very few of those organizations offer Cobra something it doesn't already have. Interpol is actually valuable since Cobra probably doesn't have a strong dossier on all the worlds criminals, terrorists, and plots so stealing access to that is actually useful. But what does the Thai fukkin mafia actually do for Cobra? Cobra has the military might to fight the US army in brief bouts and already has enough under-the-table cash flow that would make any petty crime ring would retire
In terms of country of origin and languages i really didn't consider. Knowledge of languages only matters if you're going to be interacting with many people on a day to day basis. Muscle has no need for extra language knowledge and I did consider it for Brains. And country of origin barely matters unless it severely affects their personality. Cobra has already established that it can quickly take root in any environment without the need for specialized locals and it rarely interacts with the native culture except to murder them.
Skills are the basis for Cobra's recruitment and CC isn't so dumb that he can't considered basic supply and demand. He can figure out muscle is cheap but college education and useful connections are rare, even if not immediately useful. Personality is a somewhat distant second as they're more than willing to hire on mercs that don't care anything about Cobra but its pay.

>>67286251
Incel rage.

>>67297226
And beyond all that, remember that Dr. Mindbender was dentist. Cobra has proven that it can turn any amount of education into true monsters that form the backbone of the fight against the Joes.

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Reminder that Cobra Commander was always better than Serpentor.

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>>67297579

>>67296817
I posted the new cobra members and the episode seasons, I'd love to see what you did.

>>67297579
>>67297595
I like it when CC gets to be a badass.

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I'm surprised there isn't a surplus of GI Joe/MGS crossovers, what with the obvious similarities, the whole snake thing and super soldier secret agent organized terrorist shit. Cobra is basically Outer Heaven.
>pro-military group funded by what seems to be endless cash, and backed by no country in particular- a true rogue entity, almost a nation in itself
>essentially a terrorist organization, but only identified as such by first world governments
>bafflingly massive employment roll, hundreds of grunt workers/mechanics/engineers etc.