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>>68686655
>Be me
>Bannerman to Lord Entilmen
>Dad owned land on his land; I got it after my father was executed for wearing a hat in milord's presence
>It's been raining all week but at least we're inside
>Court Magus is throwing powders into the fire but his auguries are telling us nothing
>Wont even let us eat failed auguries
>Even the rats are starving
>Archers are complaining that their bows are losing tension in the rain
>Vanguard is bitching that horses are hungry
>bitchIwilleatthehorse.tapestry
>Lord Entilmen still won't pay the corn tax
>fuck sieges

>>68686655
>be me
>lord Entilmen
>fuck that fucking corn tax. I'm spending that money on wine and exotic pelts
>spend all day inside drunk and lounging in my parlor
>elves sent envoy
>envoy brings wine
>elvish moans stave off sound of rain outside
>soldiers outside keep pesky courtiers from my keep
Damn I love sieges

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>>68687401

>be me
>magus to Lord Entilmen
>nothing is fucking working
>I've killed like 6 sheep and half as many horses to read their livers
>the livers keep lying to me
>the rain does not abate
>filthy bannermen are trying to eat the false livers
>I warn them that corrupt magics inhabit the liver
>roomservants eat liver anyway
>use sorcery to make them bleed from their arseholes
>fuck sieges

>>68687618
>be me
>Captain's head wizard
>weather's so bad I can't even see the stars
>tried to get the quartermaster to send some animals my way for back-up haruspecy
>mfw we've eaten all we came with and the next baggage train has been delayed
>again
>send feckless apprentice to steal livestock from Lord Entilmen's terrified peasants
>hungry soldiers got their first
>and horny ones
>apprentice crying.illumination
>says pikeman took leather cover from tome and ate it
>fuck sieges

>>68688001
>Be me
>Apprentice to the Head Wizard
>we can't see the stars because of the rain
>Troops are getting desperate.
>We can't cast any spells until the stars are right
>Otherwise our insides will be turned into centipedes and they will eat us from the inside out
>I've been told to explain this to the Captain, but he doesn't care
>I think my master is planning to cast the spell anyway.
>I'm scared

>>68688001
>be me
>wizard's apprentice
>get treated like shit, do weird work, get paid in newt tails
>wizard comes in swearing loudly
>again
>screams at me to get some goats from Lord Entilmen
>disgustandconcern.tapestry
>I know better than to question the wizard's whims
>I go to get the goats
>No goats, they ran to not get raped by the drunk bannermen
>drunk bannermen rape me instead
>fuck sieges

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>>68687511
>Be me
>Roger Kober, man at arms in service to Lord Entilmen
>Me and my mate have been on guard duty outside of his lordships quarters for the last three weeks, at least we are sheltered from the rain.
>Only people entering and leaving have been the servants carrying food and wine into the lords quarters
>Today a twigger "envoy" arrived with them
>Had to listen to her and our lord going at it for hours.
>I'd rather be outside on the walls.

>Be me one of the elven envoys to the human lands
>my sister, another envoy has brought word that the humans near our lands are just there to kill the humans in the stone houses
>laugh at the revelry that is human slaughter
>my command has a job for me though
>I am to take poisoned wine to the Lord of the stone houses
>evil grin.longepicpoemaboutthewaygrassgrow
>take the wine to the lord & he starts drooling while looking at me
>this human can’t tell the difference between a man & a woman
>laugh as he drinks his wine & plays with my ass

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>Be me
>Elven envoy chosen by King Twigsprout
>Buncha LUMBAHFOOTS on our border
>King still pissy about the last time they cut down his trees
>Sends me and my twin brother to see what’s up
>I go to visit the king’s forces, my brother goes to the local Lord
>The faggot stole my wine-gift, after leaving his at home... probably to try and sway the Local Lord.
>Sucharrogance.tapestry
>I tell the humans to “fuck off, eh?”
>”DIS IS OUR LANDZ AND SHIET, FUCK OFF YOU SLUT”
>Indignant, yet also aroused
>Damn elf genes
>Go to meet with my brother
>Faggot got railed three ways to sunday
>Fuck Humans...

>>68688345
>>68688345
>be me
>Head Wizard
>two Apprentices report back from (failed) liver spotting
>see one of them talking to the Captain
>elven doppelganger?
>elven doppelganger
>I fucking knew it.quilt
>I'd better cast the spell before those fae bastards sabotage it

>>68688732
>be me
>Apprentice (the real one?)
>Wizard's giving me that look again
>remember what happened to last apprentice
>oh shit
>I'll have to flee to the woods to avoid being turned into a newt or something
>wait, there are elves in the woods
>I'd better cut a deal with the Envoy before I make my escape

>Be Captain of the King’s Fifth
>those wizards have been in a mess today
>get an idea
>ask to see the Head Wizard & however many apprentices he feels he needs
>send an errand boy >>68688798 to go & bring the twigger girl back here she can
>elves can always see the stars so maybe she can coordinate with the wizards so they can cast a few siege spells

>be me
>Quartermaster of the supply train
>those nerds at the siege are waiting resupply and its raining as shit
>half the food is already gone bad due to mold
>we hate a good part of whats left
>our donkeys are overburdened and our horses are lame
>still need to resupply the King's Fifth
>I hate those pompous assholes
>a cart got its wheel stuck in the mud
>seeme like those shits will get their supplies delayed
>oops.etching

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>>68688528
>Be me Theralite the gargoyle
>Live on castle ramparts
>Don't move a lot
>Haven't really moved in 50 years
>Old wizard who put me here is dead his apprentices don't know about me
>Lord is entertaining a knife ear for the night
>Pointy walks out of my lords chamber
>Muttering to itself about how barbaric human architecture is
>Says how stupid that gargole looks
>Not taking this shit from a tree hugger
>Take one small step
>Plunge down through the air like a meteor
>Hit the elf center mass
>It explodes like a melon full of gore
>Be okay thanks to magical bindings
>Humans think I fell off due to heavy wind
>Clean me off and put me back in a more secure spot
>Guards secretly toast me for doing what they wanted to do
>MFW

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>>be me
>>corn
>>It's been raining for weeks while the peasants hide from the shiny peasants
>>I fucking love the rain
>>Peasants and goats being killed by shiny peasants
>>blood is just red rain
>>Dead peasants provide delicious soil nitrogen
>>I fucking love seiges

>>68688964
>be me
>Head Wizard
>explain for the nth time that I only had one apprentice
>Captain chalks it up to dementia
>fuck you, your mum's older.stainedglasswindow
>don't say that out loud, I like being un-beheaded
>sends "Apprentice" away to shut me up
>fine, now I'll cast the damn spell
>I think it fizzled but then Envoy appears screaming that their counterpart in the castle was murdered >>>68689024
>did the "Apprentice" do it to divert suspicion, are the stars in fact right, did old stoney my wizard pal leave some surprises on the ramparts before he fell from them?
>don't care
>I'm demanding a cask of alcohol from the Captain for my hard work
>file it under reagent expenses

>>68687401
>Be me
>Man at arms at Lord Entilmen’s
>Another day another attack
>Lost 5 of my comrades to the attack
>Supposed full harness I was given is an uncomfortable piece of crap that’s falling apart
>Helmet after getting one hit has become unwearable
>Starving
>Some of the men are considering mutiny
>Should have became an adventurer like my father, instead of falling for Lord Entilmen’s propaganda.
>Just pay the damn tax already
>Fuck sieges

>>68689153
>be me
>farmer
>his Lordship has started yet another war
>he's stared it just before harvest
>again
>don't even have goats to slaughter
>those that the soldiers didn't eat they raped
>some pasty weakling came begging for livers
>almost felt sorry
>almost
>the willowy grace was a dead givaway
>around_elves_watch_yourselves.stragebirthmark
>ran the knife-ear infiltrator back to the woods
>at least the corn's growing well

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>>68686655

>Be me
>Read another thread in which the OP and posters have no fucking idea how sieges worked.

>>68689321
>Be me
>Expect realism in a thread with wizards and talking corn.

>Be me, Captain of the King’s Fifth
>the wizard may have done something to kill the hot twigger girl’s brother
>blame it on Entilman’s treachery
>tell her I’ll avenge him if she will allow us the bare minimum lumber for some siegecraft
>she will of course have to stay here in my camp, as liaison of course...
>nothing wrong with that...
>I just want to make sure not to piss off the elves
>fuck sieges

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>>68686655
>Be me
>Orc Maruader
>Boss ‘as been payin’ attention to da pink skin’s siege
>Both of dem are about to break
>Noticed sum of dem elves, probably reein about muh forest
>Dey were purdy though
>Me and the boyz have been eating ’earty and drinkin getting ready for the attack
>Can’t wait to do sum lootin and maybe give one of dem elves the orced.parchment treatment
>I luv sieges

>>68689193
>Be me, surviving envoy of king Twigsprout
>Brother learns that he took the wrong wine to the Lord, got fucked as a consequence
>Demands the poisoned wine from me
>MFW I gave that shit away
>He calls me a dumb slut and storms off
>Mymindistellingmenobutmybody.tapestry
>My superior elven eyes watch as my brother gets splattered by falling masonry
>Fuck me. Now I’ve gotta talk to both sides
>Some human comes up to me, whining about the stars and his master
>More concerned about my dead brother
>Actually, he was a dick, I don’t care
>Agree to go when he asks me if I can see the stars
>I tell him to get some fucking goat-livers, or something.
>Some other human says something about revenge and wood
>Pretty sure he wants to fuck me, didn’t hear much else
>Damn my elf genes
>I should probably tell the king about this...

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>be me, siege engineer for the King's army
>siege of Lord Entilman's keep drags on
>twiggers have been poking around, must be angry we felled some trees to build siege weapons instead of dildos
>rain won't let up, a few catapults and trebuchets are starting to sink into the mud but we're still pounding away
>run out of large stones to launch at the fortifications
>but we do have dead bodies from Lord Entilman's forces and the corpses of cum filled goats
>supreme excellence.scroll

>>68689504
>be me
>Head Wizard
>overhear Captain order seasoned oak
>shiver with anticipation as I wait for an aged barrel of booze to be rolled into my tent
>wait
>wait some more
>what's with the carpentry noises?
>someone's building a trebuchet
>angry that I won't in fact be getting black out drunk
>angrier that those cretins could ever dream that that their crude toys could match my arcane might
>remember Old Stoney
>what a lad
>lazy though, had a habit of making unstable magical wards
>get ready for another ritual, maybe I can subvert any gargoyle guardians
>I'm too old for this shit, where's the apprentice?
>doppelganger or not they'll make a fine sacrifice
>fuck sieges

Best thread on /tg right now

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>Be me, Necro Lord with his army of skeletons-at-arms in full harness
>The humans are fighting again
>Time to kill as many as possible
>SkeletorLaughter.wav
>This rain sucks though. Makes my bones all creaky
>God I love sieges

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>be me
>Head druid in a shithole tribe
>the fat lord bordering our land rebelled against his king or something
>the king sends his man to kill the fatty
>hear he sends a few wizards with the army
>fuck wizards
>decide to make the pretentious prick suffer
>overdo the seasonal rain dance
>a lot
>like a lot a lot
>like it's been raining for three weeks a lot
>the rain and clouds hide the stars
>the faggots cant cast without 'em
>if they try they'll explode or something
>now just waiting for the fireworks
>Damn I love sieges

>Be Captain of the King’s Fifth
>thank gods the wizard is going to do something about this accursed rain
>I’ve got a bottle of spirits that hasn’t been watered down too much for him once he delivers on his promises
>can’t get the twigger girl off my mind
>the priests will have a field day if they knew what I thought about doing with her
>notice some of my men already readying some siege engines...
>gods I hope they got permission from the envoy first
>my scouts report a small orc warband watching from the south,
>mostly infighting & getting drunk, nothing we can’t handle
>though other scouts reported some skeletons half buried in mud to the north
>hopefully we can soon break this siege & dry out our skins, wet our throats, maybe our dicks too, & till our bellies on Entilmen’s stores

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>>68690253
>Be me, lowly Skeleton-at-arms Vincent, in service to Necro Lord Atacheck
>Crypt has been disturbed by the heavy rains to the point the lower levels are flooding
>LordAtachek.IsDispleased
>Orders the rest of the vassals awakened and ready to march out and figure out whats going on
>Come back with news of the humans fighting each other and whats been raining for weeks for no real reason
>Ohnoheislaughing.shit
>Orders the nearby crypts to assemble so they can kill more mortals to add to the ranks of his crypt dwellers
>Im part of the first detachment thats sent to go kill some peasant farmers and whatnot
>I cant die again anyways right? Im already dead
>Arrive at the mortal lands
>Skeletons-at-arms arrive to muddy farmlands and are bogged down by their armor
>Mortals are not weighed down though and run before we get to kill any of them
>Lord Atacheck shall be displeased
>We have to come back with some mortals otherwise he will rearrange our bones for this displeasure
>BrightIdea.Skull
>I grab my trusty bone flute and begin dooting loudly
>Announce to my necro brothers that we shall push on and kill the mortals off further in the distance
>Maybe lord Atacheck will death knight me if I lead the attack and bring back something special

>>68690317
>>68690488
>be me
>Head Wizard
>feckless Apprentice/Doppelganger is nowhere to be seen
>drink expired potions that are as close to alcohol as I'll get and sneak to castle walls
>first_time_I've_used_invisibility_ring_for_intended_purpose.parchment
>pick my way through Old Stoney's wards and remeninsce
>did the rumours say he became a druid or a necromancer?
>who cares, spell's ready
>stars are probably wrong, this is a terrible idea
>good thing I'm drunk

>>68690774
>be me
>Gargoyle
>wall I'm clinging to goes up with a bang
>see charred corpse fly into the distance
>hear "fucking elves" over the arcane screaming
>also hear attack orders and see other gargoyles stirring
>it's pretty much gibberish but it's clear that someone want's someone else dead
>let's oblige them

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>be me
>Siege Engineer for the King's Fifth
>the rotting carcasses are flying over Lord Entilman's fortifications now
>a shower of bodies infected with fever, plague, and veneral disease soar through the air
>I'm confident the residents will be pleased to find the rotting corpses of their husbands, sons, and goats falling through their roofs and into the roads
>they did want the bodies of their slain, after all
>now it's raining men

>>68691377
>be me
>Lord Entilmen's engineer/blacksmith
>have to inspect every single wooden structure in the entire castle
>the constant rain made the wooden supports soak up and rot
>several structures are one step away from colapsing and require more support
>have to get help from the garrison because my apprentice died from scurvy last week and I can't do construction work on my own
>the stables have already colapsed and killed every single one of the lords ponies inside
>ImGoingToBeHungByMyBalls.parchment
>hear corpses hitting buildings all arround me
>well now I can blame all the dead ponies on the besieging army

>>68686655
>Be me
>Drawven Miner
>Been hired by the king to tunnel and blow up Lord the walls on what’s his name’s castle
>Tunneling for weeks
>Been hearing the knife ears have been getting uppity with the humans
>Well I think this is the place
>We don’t know we’re drunk anyway and we’ve brought enough powder to demolish a small town
>And if we’re lucky the dendrophiles will get caught in the blast as well
>lightupthenight.bard
>Fuck I love sieges

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>Be me, sexually frustrated elven envoy of King Twigsprout
>I watch as sacred trees are destroyed so that the humans can launch corpses over the walls
>Oh god, I can smell it
>That human wizard is pissy about something
>Pretty sure a lot of the humans are pissy
>Pretty sure all that frustration is going to be directed on me soon
>Drooling again!
>Damn elven genes...
>Either way, now theres screaming about skeletons
>I send a message to the king to stay the fuck away. We don’t want it to end like the last war
>Though, more half-elves wouldn’t be so bad
>I fucking hate this place

>be me
>blacksmith's dead apprentice
>body dumped over the wall so I don't plague up the place
>constant rain, probably tainted by shitty wizard magic, has sped up decomposition rapidly
>dragged away as trebuchet ammunition
>massive explosion nearby somehow wakes me up from death
>hear clacking and whistling in the distance
>dootarmysong.bard
>am recruited by vincent, Death Knight, to destroy the human hordes
>promised great rewards from Lord Atacheck
>agree to help
>highlight the structural flaws of the castle (that were because of me)
>start fucking up shitty mortals
>easiest promotion of my life

>Be Captain of the King’s Fifth
>order the men to start taking the walls, there some weird movement up there but it seems to be moving against Entilmen’s men
>the wall just fucking exploded from underneath but a breach is a breach
>think about the twigger girl
>send an runner to ask her to stay with the Command Party so we can keep communication up
>communication isn’t the only thing that up though
>fuck sieges were the fuck is my wizard?

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>be me
>Lord Entilmen's castle
>my courtyard's a mess
>there's discarded sheep livers in the well
>someone just threw up in the armory
>everything smells like peasantry
>i used to be a good, noble castle
>now the elves are orgasming in the lounge
>fuck i hate people

>>68692801
This is a perfect picture. I’m stealing it for future Siege /tgs

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>>68692581
>Be me, Vincent, Death Knight
>Find a recently turned blacksmith who helps lead us into the castle
>Death fly's swiftly to the other mortals as we rush in and begin cutting down normies one by one
>"This victory will surely cause lord Atacheck to notice me!" He says as he parts a man with his head using his longsword worn down by years of disuse
>Vincent is glad he does not have the ability to smell things as he would probably die again from how rancid human settlements and towns smell
>Victory comes swiftly as we drive the mortals into the inner fort
>Decide he shall make this new ally who aided him in this victory his squire, if he can get us into the inner keep.
>Hear the sound of more mortals behind us
>ItsATrap.REEEEE
>Clever mortals think they can kill that which is deathless
>"Forward! More bodies for lord Atacheck!" Vincent clacks maniacally as he leads the undead to kill some more humans
>Today is a good day to give some normies a taste of undeath

>>68692762
>>68692801
>Be me
>Orc Warboss of Elf Krumpin Clan
>Been watchin da siege for while now, gotta be brutal but cunnin
>My boyz have been getting rambunctious and ‘orny lately, must ‘ave been da elf women. Everyone knows dat orcs can smell elf women from a mile away
>Sees da castle walls just sploded and dem flappy things are attackin, dats funny
>And it seems da captain called an attack
>Looks like dis is our chance
>’ave at dem boyz, I want da Lord and Captain’s headz on my pointy stick
>Den we can capture de elf women and take turnz orcin dem

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>>68690662
>Be me, mercenary in arms in the kings army
>Many campaigns and battles under my belt
>Been spending the last three weeks camped outside some lords castle
>Would have been a cushy job if it were not for the dammed rain
>I'm in charge of a foraging party, 10 mounted men and a horse and cart, King gave us permission to requisition supplies from the local villages
>My men are loading supplies on to cart, villagers are whining like they always do
>My lads in full harness discourage them from doing anything stupid
>Some new villagers start running into the village from the outskirts
>Screaming nonsense about undead and the end of days
>100 meters away a bout a hundred skeletons crest the brow of a hill
>One of the is hopping along playing it's femur like a flute
>Villagers panic and skatter
>My men didn't need much encouragment to get moving either, we all mount up and ride out of there with a half full cart
>Going to tell the boss to he can negotiate a higher payment for our services
>Were gonna get a big fat payday
>Fuck I love sieges.

>>68693794
Careful anon, you’re drifting from 40k/WHFRPG to some kind of shitty dojin hentai whatever

>>68694882
Honestly I blame those 2 for why me orcs speak in broken English with a cockney accent

Let’s bump for posterity

>>68696446
If your going to bump, at least contribute to the story faggot.

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>Be me, King Twigsprout of the Elven Lands
>Be chillin in my sweet forest castle, surrounded by hot bitches and warm food
>It’s been raining nonstop for weeks, thanks to the druids
>The humans haven’t been able to cut wood due to rain
>Decide I’ll be lenient on the border-folk for it
>Get a message from that pair of sluts I sent as envoys
>Mfw the boy got raped then killed
>Allaccordingtokeikaku.flute
>Read about how everything is going to hell, that we shouldn’t get involved
>Consider that the humans will all kill each other, anyways
>Then again, the birthrate has dropped since we lost the last war
>Fucking prudes, too lazy to have sex
>Immediately order my army to attack
>Who cares if we lose, I want grandchildren. It’s not like I’ll be raped!
>Fuck the commonfolk

>>68690317
>be me
>head Druid
>be dealing with the floods in tribe
>my rat spy returns from castle
>tells me there have been an explosion in the castle
>issuewizarddead.happiness
>send him to make sure the fucker is the dead
>bigger problems on my hands now
>cant stop the rain
>gonna probably need to ask for help from the knifears if it doesn’t stop
>fuck the knifears
>they make nature seem gay
>rat spy told me they sent some chick to the armies as an envoy
>send a bird to tell what happened
>except for the part where it’s my fault
>gonna tell her wizard magic fucked up the ritual
>if she doesn’t help me I’ll be forced to literally run for the hill
>fuck rain

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>>68693794
>ork word for 'fuck' is 'orc'
kek

>>68686655
>Be me
>Castle’s Chaplain
>Chapel has become a medical ward
>The sound of prayers and hymns have been replaced with groans and pleading
>Another round of wounded came in
>Just...
>Not enough healing spells to go around
>Most have to make do with what little supplies we have
>Some of the wounded got exposed to the corpses the king’s men have been hurling
>Vomiting all over the floor, infecting other wounded, have to quarantine them
>a lot of them die of infection
>I can’t keep up
>Oh gods is that another round coming
>No! No! No! NO! NO!
>Pinkwojak.mosaic
>Fuck sieges

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>be me
>be lowly priest in a village near the lord's castle
>it's been a rough few weeks
>soldiers have been fucking our goats
>it's been raining for 3 weeks straight
>even molesting the carpenter's son doesn't cheer me up anymore
>a bunch of soldiers and villagers arrived in my temple
>blabbering about the undead coming our way or some shit
>fuck.holywater
>tell them to leave the horses outside and barricade the temple
>tell them i'll go out back and make some holy water
>exit from the backdoor and lock it
>take one of the horses and fuck off
>i'm not gonna die to some undead bitch bois
>Fuck sieges

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>>68693794
>Be me, terrified Envoy of King Twigsprout
>Took a break from the siege to go... ahem, relieve myself in the woods
>Elfgirlsmakedo.scroll
>Much more clear headed
>Also terrified
>Somehow got surrounded by the Elf Krumpin Ork army while I was... busy
>Somehow they haven’t noticed me in the tree
>Perhaps it’s those big brows getting in the way?
>Either way, I recognize my cousin’s father at the head of the tribe
>Says something about being able to smell an elf a mile away
>Dude, I’m right here
>They begin hooting and hollering, and charge into the village
>So, basically the orcs are outflanking the humans outflanking the skeletons outflanking the humans?
>I just want to go home...

>Be me, orc war boy of the Mighty Elf Fuckers
>our band has been making our way from our hideout to the forest
>promise of clappin’ dem Elf cheeks
>we come across a human village with a bunch of humans hiding in their holy house
>see a human leave the holy house though
>time for me to get some practice before I find me an Elf
>grab the man and kill the horse he’s riding
>time to clap dem cheeks

Its been 3 weeks since you started the siege
Cocked your head to the side and said your angry
5 days since you ran out of food, now you gotta boil up your old boot

>Be Captain of the King’s Fifth
>we’ve successfully taken most of Entilmen’s keep
>cut down most of the orc force >bastards snuck up on us & got caught between we loyal sons & Entilmen’s traitors
>try to propose surrender to save lives
>we got a bigger problem.illuminated scroll
>hot ass twigger girl has gone missing
>try not to think about it
>battle inducted hard-on won’t let it go
>rally everyone I can, including the new former Entilmen soldiers
>there’s us in the keep
>a few small roving orc groups that seem to be everywhere & in the distance the undead are marching
>send runners to the twiggers
>if they want help they better get inside this castle
>hope cute twigger girl with the nice rack is okay
>the sieger has become the besieged
>fuck sieges

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>>68697734
>be me
>head druid
>no message from the twigger
>probably rapped to death by the dumpfuck soldiers
>and now my little spies report a large movement of knifeears towards us
>fuckmylife.trees
>they are coming for me
>also hear that the green scum and the undead are storming the area
>the village leader gives a long speech about defending our home to the last man
>everyone seems to be on board and makes ready for battle
>thisisabadidea.sky
>decide that i'll stop trying to stop the rain
>do the rain dance again instead
>and again
>and again
>i'm gonna drawn the fuckers
>finish my fifth rain dance and transform into a falcon
>fuck off to the eastern forests
>look over the chaos below me
>enjoy your doom motherfuckers
>mfw i'm gonna cause the death of thousands

>>68700991

>Be me, Death Knight Vincent
>We managed to kill all these dumb mortals who thought it was a great idea to try and kill the deathless
>MoreBodiesForLordAtacheck.Necromancy
>The few that ran we chased to the chapel
>See a bunch of muscled up greenskins having slaughtered what humans that were outside and working on getting into the chapel
>Our objective was to kill the humans, not the Orc's, so I, being the charismatic Death Knight of our esteemed lord Atacheck, aproach the war band and what appears to be their leader with a small group of other skeletons to protect me if they get all. . . orcy
>Orc's! It is I,Vincent, Servitor to the esteemed Necro Lord Atacheck and I come bearing promise of an alliance! Join us and we will bathe in human blood, possibly clapping many cheeks along the way!"

>>68701980
>Be me
>Warboss of Elf Krumpin clan
>Did am intial charge of da castle, got repelled
>Oh well we come back and fight em again anyway
>I turn me boyz loose on the villages to do sum killin and lootin
>Suddenly I smell somethin nasty
>It’s one of those ripe boyz
>He’s givin’ me an offer to join dem and krump both of da humies
>I’ll accept with one condition, I get to put the captain and lord’s head on me pointy stick

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>Be me
>Sellsword in the kings army
>Was requisitioning supplies from some yolkels when a bunch of undead arrived.
>We got the fuck out of there
>Was planning on going back to the siege camp
>Turns out there are fucking undead everywhere
>Situation is fucked
>Captain orders us to a good defensible location, local chapel, solid stone construction the 10 of us hard bastards can hold off ten score our own numbers in there.
>When we bust in and start ripping the place apart, making barricades from pews the local priest decides to fuck off to do preistly things or whatever.
>Captain orders me up into the bell tower as a lookout.
>I spot a large band of greenskins approaching the chapel.
>I also spot the priest riding away on my horse.
>Big greenskin catches him and drags him into a bush.
>I breath a sigh of relieve my my horse escapes.
>Rest of the greenskins are slaughtering the peasents trapped outside the chapel.
>Some of them try forcing their way in but are repelled. From my vantage point on the belltower I nail a few with my crossbow. I also push off some loose masonry on top of their big fat stupid heads.
>Good thing the orks are too dumb to put a flame to the chapel.
>Then I spot a beefed up skeleton arrive with an entourage of undead.
>Alpha skeleton seems to like the sound of it's own voice, starts talking the dammed greenskins ears off.
>Somthing about clapping cheeks?
>Obnoxious prick is drawing their attention away from us.
>Me and the boys bust down back door and make a break for the horses.
>We mount up, and gallop away in a mad dash.
>I'm not getting paid enough for this shit.

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>>68701980
>Be me, Necro Lord Atacheck
>Decide to scry upon the advance party from the safety of the crypt that is not flooded yet
>mfw one of the skeletons is actually being a good leader
>mfw hes managed to strike a deal with the Ork's to clap human cheeks

>>68703622
>Be me
>Be Warboss of Elf Krumpin Clan
>Me and da ripe boyz agreed to join up and I git to put da Captain and Lord’s heads on me pointy sticky
>Hellyeahmotherfucker.parchment
>Dey even brought back sum of da boyz I lost it in the initial attack, Dey a little ripe though I think I’ll put dem up front
>Soon we’ll be attackin da castle and clappin dem elf cheeks.
>Might be tuff though dem humies are probably goin to team up against us
>Wait...
>If dey can bring back da dead...
>I remember seein da bonez of one of dem dragons in da forest.
>I think I’ll let de head ripe boy know.

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>>68697199
>Be me, soldier in King Twigsprout’s army
>Be marching through the forest in skimpy elf armor
>It’s raining, thanks to the fucking druids
>Comically understrength, it’s like the king wants us to lose
>Pretty sure he just rounded up every female in the kingdom and handed us swords
>Imafuckingknitter.pipe
>Well, maybe I’ll see a real orc or something
>Maybe I can bring one home this time
>”Once you go green, never go clean”
>My other kids really need a father figure, y’know?
>Reach the edge of the forest
>mfw

>Be Captain of the King’s Fifth
>my men are beleaguered
>my men are half starved
>my men are surrounded by ragged gangs of Orcs from the satellite villages & a full company of the hateful dead
>still sexually frustrated by a dagger earred twigger girl
>but the King’s colors hang leaden in the rain above the castle we swore to take
>empty Entilmen’s larder to the men
>meat to the officers
>beer for the men
>ha! You men thought the siege on the outside was bad? Nay! That was just to get the blood pressure moving for the real war!
>start burning all the corpses we previously launched into the castle
>burn all the corpses
>I’m not having any more traitors even if they are undead
>rally any man who can hold a spear
>we’re gonna rattle some bones
>fuck sieges

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>>68704654
>Be me, Death Knight Vincent in Lord Atachecks glorious undead army
>Hear out the Ork's plan to raise this boney dragon
>JoinTheSkeletonWarsToday.Spooky
>Rally the undead and march straight into the forest with chief ork
>Fucking surprised by the knife ears as they jumped out in what could barely be qualified as clothing
>"En Garde Fuckboi!" I shout as I give him a taste of the good old boner
>He moans loudly as they all do, wilting in the presence of all these manly orcs and undead
>tfw we are now distracted by an impromptu orgy with me and my skelebro's and Ork's trading around these elf sluts

>>68705892
/d/ is that way

>be me
>Just some fucking urchin with a band if merry men
>Notice the siege setting up
>We've already filed to the woods
>Some goddamn yokels wearing deer horns have been chanting for three weeks straight now
>Some guys got sick from all the fucking rain
>Cook up a plan to steal from the sieging sides supply lines
>Looks like they were lightly armed and armored for some reason
>Use the forest path as cover and literally charge them with sharp sticks, rocks, and foul language
>Score a food cart and an apothecary cart
>We just head back to our camp
>The chanting horn people gave us some blessings to keep it up
Sieges are okay

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>>68705008
>>68705892
>Be me
>Be Warboss of Elf Krumpin Clan
>Head Ripe boy agreed to check out dis dragon
>Run into sum of dem elves
>Wuts dis
>Dey barely even equipped and most of them are women
>Time for a good old stompin, krump da men and orc da women, den take their pansy little gear
>But first we do our battlecry and pose on them to intimidate dem further
>Den we get back to dat dragon
>Fuck I luv sieges

>Be me elven Enchantress of Twigsprout’s army
>our scouts report that the undead and orcs are storming the trees
>their path will take them to the venerated remains of Barkscale the great forest dragon, better known to our people as Bi’Gphuchant’Reeliz’ard
>call on the elven thot goddess to weave a mighty illusion
>the orcs and undead fall for the illusionary ambush
>they think they are fucking elven sluts
>really they are fucking honeycombs
>bees are not happy
>laughing my leaf covered ass off.apostrophe

>>68706352
>Be me, Vincent, Death Knight of Lord Atachecks glorious undead army
>We have just started to play with the elvish sluts when the orc's begin screaming about a stinging sensation
>Being undead, we feel nothing but it still came to a surprise when a few of the orc's keeled over with pierced members covered in honey
>VileSorcery.magic
>"Ignore these vile wenches for they are magic BEE'S in disguise!" I shout out loudly, removing my honey covered bones from the illusory elf.
>Foolish elves think they can hurt that which is deathless aye? We will show them!
>We move deeper into the woods, extra vigilant of trickery and treachery along the way
>A few of the spooky boys and ork's get lost along the way but that is okay
>We eventually arrive to the old dragon mound
>Immediately set the Necro mages about raising such a beast
>It may not breath arcane fire but it will be enough to knock down the castle walls

>be me
>gold digger and scavenger
>been waiting out in camp for a siege to finish so I can sneak in and make away with a ton of free armaments and loot
>I love sieges
>rain ruining everything in my cart
>antiques, magical items, whale bones, etc.
>bury everything so it doesn't get wet
>wow, this siege is taking a while longer than I thought it would
>go to a nearby river to fish
>those stupid soldiers downstream think all the fish died thanks to magic or some shit
>it's just my net
>grab dinner for the next few days
>hauling everything back, see skeletons at my campsite
>onlycrossisburiedsixfeetunder.palette
>they're dancing in circles around my whale bones
>what's that purple smoke?

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>>68706500
>Be me, Barkscale the great forest dragon
>WhoDares.WakeMeUp
>Come to life, see a bunch of Orc's and skeletons
>Freak out as I was enjoying my eternal rest
>Begin crushing skeletons and killing orc's as these puny necro mages have no real way to control me
>Rampage through the forest after a while, killing anything I come across because I fucking hate waking up to shitty necromancers
>REEEEEEEEEEE.Beam
>Blast a straight line through the forest of pure arcane energy
>Everything is now on fire
>Maybe somebody will try to help me go back to sleep now

>Be elven Enchantress
>those undead humans ran pellmell into the forest seeking Barkscale’s bones
>several of their number were taken by our warriors & our wards
>there only seems to be a handful of orcs now
>see the commander of the skeletons
>he orders necromages to begin a dark ritual
>call the ents
>you cannot kill that which forever grows boneboys

>Be me
>Warboss of da Elf Krumpin Clan
>Turns our da elves were beehives, scarred off me boyz, but they were tasty
>Da plan is workin
>Dragon is coming on a rampage straight for da castle
>Lost a good amount of boyz, but oh well I got more near the castle anyway and the ripe boyz can always make more
>Now everythin is on fire
>The trees are dancin around in a panic now, burning
>Omegalul.minstrel
>Now time to go krump that castle, get my heads on a pointy stick, and clap dose cheeks
>I luv sieges

>Be me, Dubua, Skeleton-At-Arms in full harness for the Necro Lord Atacheck
>Got separated from the spooky boy's
>Run into a bunch of elf's that keep harassing me
>They cant kill me with their shitty weapons
>they knocked my head off and are playing catch with it now
>PleaseHelpTheseWearyBones.Skele
>Suddenly the forest is on fire
>Dragon runs up and eats a few Elves
>Knocks my bones away with his tail as it rampages towards the mortal lands
>Slowly roll back together and reconstitute myself
>God I hate sieges

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>>68698870
>Be me, annoyed envoy of King Twigsprout
>It seems the battle has moved into the forest
>Oh fuck, the king sent soldiers
>Oh shit, my enchantress aunt is in charge
>The only person with more delusion than the king
>She thinks she can win this by calling the ents
>Welcometothetreefieldsmotherfucker.carving
>Then a twiggin dragon animates, killing orks and skeletons left and right
>Realize that I’m somehow in the middle of everything
>Decide to sneak into that warm, dry looking stone castle
>Deploy the pinnacle of wilderness camouflage in order to ensure my escape
>It works like a charm, thanks to my skill in espionage
>Finally having some fucking fun

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>be me
>simple peasant
>be running for me life
>orcs and skeletons are rampaging everything in sight
>pretty sure i heard a dragon too but I'm too scared to look
>run as fast as i can to the old boat by the river
>rain somehow gets stronger
>can barely move
>finally get to the river wet and freezing
>the bloody thing is overflowing
>my boat has been taken by the stream
>isthistheend.questionmark
>fuck it
>my life is over anyway, but i can secure a good afterlife
>start making my way to the undead army
>I'm gonna ask to enlist

>>68707360
>be me, pinefist, ent in the forest
>chilling doing ent things, looking after tree friends, being annoyed by knife eared keebs
>it's been raining a alot
>not a bad thing, helps mushroom friends.
>some dumb elf starts demanding i join them, something about humans killing each other and cutting down trees.
>on one hand, fuck elves, on the other i like thoes trees.
>decisions.lichen
>suddenly part of the forest explodes
>it's that god damm dragon fighting elves, orcs, and humans.
>they set fire to my favorite berry bush
>that's it
>nomoremisterniceent.acorn
>going to gather my nature friends and kill the shit out of everything on two legs in this entire forest
>it's time for some fun

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>be me
>be king of the western lands
>be fucking bitches and eating spiced meat
>lifeisgood.monarchy
>my supreme magus barges into the throne room
>apparently there is an extreme drought going on near the border with my step half nephew
>whocares.feudalism
>apparently the rain is redirected to my step half nephews lands
>the fucker is trying to weaken me
>this means war!
>mobilize the griffon riders and send them to stop the rain stealing
>I'm gonna rape his wife for this!

>Be Captain of the King’s Fifth
>hell is not of fire & brimstone & perpetual night far from the light of the gods
>it is a sodden mudhill with a crumbling old castle & maggoty bread to eat
>thankfully the orcs & undead maneuvered into the trees instead of pressing the attack
>it’s given time enough for my men to create enough picket lines & barricades
>they even have dry clothes
>we even have dry powder for the grenadiers
>the twigger girl is even trying to creep up the hallway so at least she’s safe
>completely drenched from the rain though
>really showing off those curves
>damn this elf bewitchery
>decide to take a minute to go polish my sword & clear my head
>before I can even sit a messenger boy calls for me
>whatissobloodyimportant?.rage
>apparently there is a fire
>and a dragon
>and ents
>and why do the gods test us so?
>fuck sieges

>>68708495
>Be me
>Your friendly neighborhood trickster god
>Ho ho ho ho ho!
>My little bit of fun is going great
>First I convince that boorish king to impose something as stupid as a corn tax
>Then I watch as a siege begins near elvish lands, as they get all uppity and sexually frustrate all the men
>Then I point the orcs into the direction of the siege, while the forces of the undead do their thing
>But this!
>I never expected them to raise a dragon and cause ents to attack
>It’s almost perfect but I must spice things up more
>HMMMMmmmmmmm
>Brainblast.limmerick
>I’ll turn myself into a diplomat from that human king and tell that idiot elf king that if he doesn’t surrender the forest to the humans, his men will kill the envoys.
>I love sieges
>Honk Honk!

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>>68686655
>Be me
>Cave Troll
>Woke up after hundred year hibernation, theres a castle on my doorstep
>fugg.jpg
>Hundreds of humies show up at its doorstep, probably gonna come kill me
>waiting for death
>the humans start sitting around
>capture a humie in the dead of night, tear off his arms for information
>somethin called a "Seeg"
>sneak out and grab a couple humies in armour, crunchy on the outside, chewy on the inside
>this continues for months
Life's good.

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>>68709016
>Be me, King Twigsprout of the elven lands
>Stoned off my ass, watching my sister-in-law getting devastated by orks, skeletons, and a dragon
>Highelf.poet
>Already getting the “reserves” together
>MFW I’m the reason elves are near-extinct
>Some human shows up, claiming to be a diplomat
>Whatevs dude, welcome to chateau Twigsprout
>He tells me that if I don’t cede the forest to the humans, they’ll kill my envoys
>Like I give a shit. Go ahead
>Envoy seems disappointed, until I tell him my master plan
>I told Nectara, Goddess of Nature that her sacred groves were being destroyed by invaders
>Now, there’s a swarm of gigantic pissed-off bees coming to fuck everything up that isn’t an elf
>Okay, some of the elves too, lol
>I get grandkids, the favor of the gods, and the humans are also getting fucked
>I fucking love war!

Is there just one guy larping as different people, with the intent of being the biggest asshole?

>>68710518
>One Guy
>31 posters
Oof

>>68710518
Im going to assume you are new here and have never seen one if these threads before. But to give you a completly earnest answer, it's a bunch of people respondig to a rp prompt and making a funny story. It's an improv exersize where each person tells a different side of the story and/or escalates the situation.

>Be me
>Warchief of da Elf Krumpin clan
>Got back to camp
>Lost most of me expedition boyz
>Dat Dragon is going to give da castle a good stompin
>Dose walkin trees are angry, krumpin everything in sight, sum are heading to the castle, most are headin dat elf’s castle, seemed particularly crossed at him
>Purty good job so far
>We captured some of those Giant Beez, turned out you can control them by grabbin the things coming out of their head
>Now I’m sending out moar boyz to capture dose, that way we can ride to da castle in style
>LastSurprise.horn

>>68710895
>>68710634
I’m not new, I just feel like a few people posting are samefagging. Like the elf king and the trickster god and the troll and whatnot

>>68711704
Newwww fagggg

>fuck sieges bump

>>68711375
>Be bee
>BzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZzzz

>>68686655
>King’s Fifth
Choke on your king's sceptre and die, we have paid every tax you have imposed despite the famine and our castle is beautiful as fuck to boot.

>>68709617
>Be me, pine fist
>Fighting my way through the forest with my nature friends
>this is fun
>going to go to that stupid elf king so that i can stomp hin to death for annoying me so much
>punt an elf over the horizon on my way
>this is most fun I've had in years
>bees have joined us too, yay

>Be me, DM who also introduced Warhammer Fantasy Battles to the group.
>Group has been asking for campaign about sieges.
>See this entire thread.

I love /tg/

>>68718023
& we love you, & since we love each other so much... can I borrow $20?

>be me
>griffon rider under king Ervin
>sent to the neighboring kingdom to take over the area and stop a dark ritual of rain stealing
>finally get here
>the place is raining hard so i can barely see anything
>but i hear a dragon
>i can also make out some orcs
>i'm not getting paid enough for this shit
>fuck wars

>Be Captain of the King’s Fifth
>suddenly a wing of griffin riders are flying up, waving the kings colors
>have a man signal them the AllSafe & to meet in the courtyard
>turns out they’ve been sent to help us out & apparently the rain is not the work of the gods’ wrath but a vile Druid
>can’t wait to deal with this dragon & afterward stomp some Druid ass
>ask the griffin riders to scout the forest but stay safe
>I need eyes out on this giant monster that’s tearing the place up
>have the griffin wings runner send word of the new situation & plea for food & other necessities
>& someone get me a fucking scrying stone

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>>68717756
>Be me, hidden envoy of King Twigsprout, and last surviving elf...again
>Using my skills at espionage, I disguise myself as a human by drawing a mustache and goatee on my face
>Infiltrationsuccessful.tapestry
>I should probably just move here
>Open a breadshop like I always wanted
>Have tons of degenerate half-breed children!
>...
>Damn elf genes
>Standing by the gatehouse when a mob of the elf krumpin orks show up riding gigantic bees
>Like, third weirdest thing I’ve seen today, maybe fourth
>They ask for the rest of the elves, saying they want to clap their cheeks
>”Nope, no elves here! Only Lumbafoots- I mean humans! Humans doing human things! Like humans do!”
>The bee is staring into my soul. Ork looks confused
>Oh god they’re onto me

>Be elven Enchantress
>that degenerate Twigsprout has completely lost his shit
>the ents are marching one by one hurrah hurrah!
>my niece the envoy is missing, probably seeking out big thick human cock, what kind of gods give humans the biggest dick of any race? Do they WANT us to fuck them?
>bigger problems than that though, well not “bigger” heehee but more important
>damn elf genes
>anyhow, I gotta find a way to stop these orcs from stealing my bumblebees!
>call on the Eagles
>not the aging folk rock band either
>the giant smart eagles
>they can help
>they aren’t pissy like the ents
>climb on ones back
>tell him the plan
>kill orcs, rekill undead, meet back in the forest for biscuits and tea by 7

>>68721376
>Be me
>Warboss of da Elf Krumpin Clan
>Dat elf thot thinks she’s so smart
>She just drew a mustache and thinks she can slip by
>But we can smell elf females from a mile away
>Everyone knows dat
>We put ‘er in da elf catchin sack
>We ‘adn’t washed that months
>Actually we don’t wash anything
>I hand ‘er to one of me boys to take ‘er back to camp and tie ‘er nice and tight
>sideobjectivecomplete.scrawling
>Da beez ‘ave been workin out quite nicely
>Sum of dem pierce right through da humies armor
>But da best onez are when the humans get stung a little
>Dey git all puffy and start thrashin about before dey stop movin
>Dats funny
>I luv sieges

>Be Captain of the King’s Fifth
>she frustratingly beautiful twigger girl get thrown in a sack in the village below
>draw my sword
>jump on a griffin
>I can feel my heroic boner pressing against my codpiece
>I’m just doing this to help human twigger relations...
>totally not to get hot twigger booty
>on my flight down from the castle I snag a spear from a man-at-arms
>use the spear to kill the bees
>use my sword to kill the orcs
>intercept the orc with the sack & cut the twigger free
>toss her over the saddle
>damn she has a nice ass
>turn the griffin about & seek out the orc in charge of this mess

>Be me, Necro Lord Atacheck
>Forward unit has been destroyed or scattered by the elfs and the dragon
>I was expecting them to be beaten, but not to raise a fucking dragon
>Oh well, at least my scrying suggests that the other crypts have assembled
>Thousands of undead with the goal of fucking up these humans and whatever is causing this rain
>Give the order to advance
>SkeletonWars.Spooky
>Some of the humans are abandoning their kindred and joining our side
>Let them live until they are killed and then raise them again
>Tell them I will give them access to my harem of succubi and vampires if they can bring me the head of that elf thot at the helm of the twigger army
>TakeHerToTheBoneZone.calcium
>And kill the bastard human in charge of the defense of the castle
>Leave the orc/undead alliance alone for the moment. Not to rock the boat or whatever
>Still need to deal with the dragon but meh, ill figure that out when we get to it
>God I love wars

bump

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>>68723654
>Be me, mercenary cossbowmen of the King's Fifth
>Some fucking skeleton tried to shank me while i was tying my crossbow string
>Why did i join this fucking company
>There's a griffin eating an ork right in front of me
>Can't even run because some dragon's burning my only route of escape
>HowAmIStillAlive.parchment
>See some cunt leading the bonezone army
>Who the fuck wears all black
>That's literally asking to be called a cunt
>An unhelmeted cunt as far as i can see
>Load my lifesaver
>Time to shoot a crazed wizard
>Gotta find the Captain and demand a raise
>This bullshit wasn't on the terms we agreed on

>Be wizard from far away land
>Riding around on my flying carpet while high as fuck
>Fly over some shitty castle being besieged by starving peasants
>Sucks to be those guys
>Continue on my merry way

>>68729759
>Be me humble bone drone of the undead horde
>see something moving in the clouds
>the fleshmen have been riding griffins
>aim my crossbow
>loose
>tag the thing perfectly
>thing drops out of the sky
>it’s an old man in a gay robe on a ugly ass carpet
>well at least I didn’t hit anything vital
>maybe I’ll get a promotion, I’m hoping to get to death knight on day

>Be me, grumpy envoy of king Twigsprout
>Friggin’ orks get smarter by the day due to crossbreeding
>I wonder how smart my kids woul-
>Damn elf genes
>So this humie decides to save me, blocking me from a nice hard di-terrible life of servitude
>Notmyday.constellation
>That’s it, I’m moving to the human kingdom
>The elves can fuck off for all I care
>Especially my aunt
>Gonna open a bakery, get some buns in my oven
>Damn elf genes. Might need another tree-session soon...
>Suddenly, fucking skeletons shoot us out of the air
>Crash land, surrounded by pissed off trees, bees, skeletons, elves, orks, a dragon, and that poor humie
>At the very least, I am fucked on a metaphysical level, if not a physical one
>Such is fucking life

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>be me. Lizard Prince of glorious merchant republic.
>make investments
>send caravans
>Winning.Money
>elections all about being biggest pimp-lord
>sip wine
>hear about stupid northerners murderfucking each other in seige
>spit out wine
>realize it's all your fault for giving a petty king war loans a decade ago.
>Tax War has esclated due to ego and poor race relations
>be glad you rule a city where races all fight with money instead of stabby things.
>warispeace.money
>orcs murdering
>elves murdering
>humans extra murdering
>Everything on fire
>everything being rained on due to pissy druids
>wizards exploding like off brand fireworks
>price of grain, weapons, mercenaries, and spell casting services skyrocket!
>Summon the money wizards! consult the Laws of Aquisition! fetch my kobold assassins! It is time for profit!
>Sip wine with evil grin
>realize you spat it out earlier
>tell sex slaves to get you more wine while you contemplate how much life sucks for primitive northerners.
>I love seiges.

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>>68731852
Don't bring your furry degeneracy here.

>Be me Captain of the King’s Fifth
>got blasted out of the sky
>griffin is okay but looks pissed
>flew back to the aerie without me
>hold tight to the twigger so we don’t get separated
>it was totally an accident to grab her there
>toss her over the shoulder like a sack of potatoes
>still gotta get back to my men on the walls
>stones from the wall crush the undead in front of us to shards
>having a smashing time.thornberry
>at least that orc chief got murdered too
>stuff a grenado in his mouth
>light the fuse
>biggest smile he’s ever gonna have
>stroll to gates as he explodes
>starting to like sieges

>be me, supreme sky god
>Some fucking druid is ruining my weather patterns
>Look more closely, lotsoffighting.constellation
>Accursed mortals never learn
>Clear out the rain and replace it with blistering heat
>Laugh in humidity.weather

>>68735527
>Be me
>Orc Champion of Elf Krumpin clan
>Well dis sucks our boss got killed
>Hey
>Wait a sec
>DAT MEANS I’M DA NEW BOSS
>AwwwwwwwYeahhhhhhh.scrawling
>As first order of business I’z getting dat crazy shaman to drop a big rock from da sky to destroy dat gatehouse
>Den we gonna surround da head humie with our skelebros and take turns orcin dat elf

>Be me Elven Enchantress
>this entire endeavor has gotten completely out of hand
>but at least the rain as stopped
>take recon of the situation
>dragon on a rampage
>he’s at the edge of the woods now
>ents and elves fighting undead in the field beyond
>orcs, undead, bees, griffins, humans, and who the fuck knows what else in the village below the castle
>fuck Twigsprout
>I’m going to kill him as soon as I get the chance
>gotta save my niece though
>there’s a lot of testosterone around
>she could be being carried off by orcs or humans at this very moment
>sounds kinda hot.forestsession
>damn elf genes
>decide to get rid of that undead leader
>dudes dressed in all black with a big fuckass huge cape
>direct the ents to spearhead an attack

>Be Elven Enchantress
>the dead fuckboi thinks he can snuff out life
>a big of dirt is nothing to the tree
>wait for him to step out on the path the ents had until they were buried
>once he’s there I surge the area with life
>the buried ents spring anew, larger than before for their growing
>you cannot stop life
>cast him in an illusion of lounging in his crypt as the ents crush him
>hopefully he’ll be too busy seeing himself pleasuring an illusion of me to care when he’s destroyed

Did something happen to the deathknight dude’s post?

Bump

bump