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>Be me.
>Felinid merc captain Scarlett
>Follow Yuri and his squad to the main admin building in order to get my mercenary licenses renued.
>Once we get their we find a line that will take days to clear.
JustAnotherDayInTheImperium.vox
>I move my girls over to get a ticket for our group only to hear shouting and see Yuri and his men cutting through the line with their bayonets
>Well that's one way to do it.

quest threads died but this is still allowed?

>>92890317
This isn’t a quest thread. It’s more of a collective story, there’s no rolling or stats.

>>92886259
>>92890148
>Be ace lightning pilot Tiff
>Here to get my pilot’s license renewed
>Been waiting in line for days to get my number called
>Suddenly the door bursts open and a group of unwashed Vallhallans and Mordians start blasting
>Followed by Scarlett and her mercs
>Trying to decide if I should get involved this time or wait for it to just blow over

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>Be me
>Princeps of the titan 'Kicker of asses'
>Paying off a debt that I lost in a card game to a Guard Captain by agreeing to help them with a mission agianst some deviants.
>Now standing outside a hive on some random planet they dragged me to, ready to offer fire support.
>My right foot seems to be blocking all eight lanes of a road going into the hive.
>Oh shit, here comes a traffic warden, I hope I don't get a ticket.

>>92886259
>>92890148
>Be sergeant Yuri.
>We manage to reach the front desk and ask the terrified secretary for the office of the guy we’re looking for.
>She gives us the instructions and we head out, it’s going to take us a while to get their but hopefully we can get to him before nids or orks show up, or it turns out this whole planet is infested with genestealers again.

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>>92891878
>Be me.
>Interrogator Gussiusvan of the ordo Ludicrum
>A newly founded Ordo by Guilliman dedicated to sorting out massive clusterfuck battles with a bunch of different factions that just seam to just flare up and fade away in the 42nd millennium for some reason
ShinnyNewRosset.Holo
>You pretty much need to be a radical in order to survive this job
EnemyOfMyEnemy.ScribeSkull
>Currently investigating an IG regiment that’s been the center of at least 5 of these conflicts
>At least 2 involved time travel so we’re working with the Ordo chronos on this one as well
>No idea when the agent will arrive or if the agent’s already here through timeywhimy grox shit and waiting on me
>Shouldn’t be too hard given I’m stuck in traffic at hive Quartiusium
>Figure the best place to start my investigation is at the very top, so once we meet up we’ll interrogate the guy (or girl) that assigns them and see if they’re a Tzeentch agent or something
>Deccide to turn on the vox in the car to pass the time
>According to the traffic report apparently there’s a titan somewhere in the hive blocking traffic
Wat.Astropath

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>Be me
>Deathwatch Brutalis Dreadnought Isaac of the Angry Marines
>Awaken from my slumber to see pic related staring at me
> Immediately gut him with my claws then notice my arm is fixed
>Remember what happened
>I was running towards a mechanics bulk lander then... nothing
>The tech nerds must've taken me aboard for repairs after I fell asleep
>Grab another tech nerd and shove them against the wall, turn up my speakers as loud as they will go and start interrogating them
>Learn I'm aboard an ark mechanicus docked with a space elevator on a hive city
>Also before I went into my sleep I requested an enginseer make the stop sign I got into a power weapon and now that is done
>I order the tech nerd to take me to my new weapon and they do
>Once I have it I strap it to my back then look for a way off the ark
>I'm going down to the hive world to find an astopath and contact my bros in the Angry Marines
>I've had enough of Moron Octavius and his squad of retards.

gb2 containment thread

>>92894217
>Be tech priest
>We washing bug guts of a dreadnought with my two companions and our mark 2 Aqua-Santica Arquebus, when suddenly Theta-56 hits a switch or something
TheMachineAwakens.Omnissiah
>The holy Dreadnought bisects Theta-56 then pins Gamma Omicron IX to a wall and starts interrogating him
>After I lower the volume on my audio receptors they leave
>Omnissiah help me this job was supposed to be the easiest and least deadly on the ark
IDidntSignUpForThis.jpeg
>Maybe I can talk to the arch magos about getting transferred somewhere else

>>92890148
>>92892852
>Be me
>Felinid merc captain Scarlett
>Yuri asks the shaking secretary his questions then leaves
>Decide she needs to calm down a bit if she’s going to be any use to us.
>I send forward our most adorable mercenary Amber to do the talking.

“Meowllo prrrty lady, do nyan think nyou could point us in the dictionary of the mercenary liscense renewal office? If nyou do, I’ll let you pet meow adorable ears and tail~”

>>92886259
>>92891878
>>92894217
>Be Magos Navis Vert
>Commander of the Titan transport vessel “Sky Breaker” of the 00111001th dark Mechanicum fleet, currently transporting Legio Terbous
>We we’re separated from the fleet in the last warp jump and now find ourselves in an unknown system all alone
>The sensors pick up an all to familiar ark mechanicus nearby that seemingly hasn’t detected us yet
>We don’t have the weapons to take it on in a fleet engagement, especially that main battle cannon it has, but maybe we don’t need to…
Idea.Cogitator
>Currently it’s docked with a space elevator and deployed an Imperator titan to a hive city
>We’ll sneak around to the night side of the planet, hiding behind asteroids and moons and blaring out sensor confusing scrap code
>Then deploy the legio which will make its way to the space port and the titan to blast it
>We don’t have any Impetators, but we do have some Nemesis Warbringer classes and Warhounds, along with a few reavers left over
>Should hopefully be enough to bring down the titan and the space elevator if placed correctly
>Once that’s done dragging the ark down fo the surface
NowEnteringStealthMode.Tzeentch

>Be Trooper Sasha, Valhallan Ice Warriors
>Honored to serve in Glorious Imperial Guard
>Not really though
>I was conscripted
>And am I even a Guards(wo)man?
>My first regiment (more of a labour battalion really) was led by fraudulent commissar who frequently ignored orders and also hung out with slaves we liberated from a Slaaneshi warband (it later turned out most of them weren’t slaves)
>My second regiment got massively intoxicated in a pre-drop celebration, but then we dropped earlier than expected, picked a fight with another regiment, seceded from the Imperium, and caused thousands of losses
>My third (and current) regiment is tiny as fuck to the point that I am pretty sure High Command has written us off as dead more than once. Our de facto commanding officer, Sergeant Yuri, abuses this situation to do favors for his cogboy buddies, or just follow his own personal agenda
>Long story short, I have spent most of my short career in the Guard doing less than typical Guardman activities like being AWOL, being forgotten in jail cells, running contraband rings, impersonating Munitorum clerks, tricking new recruits into doing my assigned work, loitering around the tanna machine for hours on end, spending more than a few nights passed out in drunk tanks or ditches, et cetera, et cetera
>Murdering Imperial citizens to avoid waiting in line is probably a new low though (I mean, it was a long line so I don’t completely blame him)
>I hope Yuri knows what he is doing
>This obsession of his with finding some clerk who he blames for us getting bad postings has long gotten out of hand, particularly as Yuri himself picks most of our missions
>Not that I mind being on some hive world that is not being actively invaded for once, but at this rate we will be neck deep in Arbites, Commissariat, Inquisition, and God-Emperor knows what in no time

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>>92900728
>Anyways...
>Yuri threatens some receptionist to give him some directions to the alleged clerk and leads most of what is left of the regiment in that particular direction
>I linger near the back in case Yuri orders another mass murder
>Scarlett and her felinid mercs are here too for some reason
>One of her scantily clad minions is seducing the receptionist for info
sigh.exe
>When I said earlier that I rarely do typical Guard stuff, I forgot to mention how often my job involves trying to avoid being pulled into highly improbable smut-type situations
>Just for once can we have a mission with no fighting, no nudity, and no weirdness?
>A large, heavily used, rubber dildo smashes into my face out of nowhere
>I duck for cover as more thrown objects and sporadic gunfire erupts from a bizarrely dressed mob of cultists that seemingly appeared from nowhere
>Great, it is those Slaaneshi-Tzeenchite librarian cultists from two planets ago
>Another warp portal opens, discharging more cultists
>There isn’t enough tanna in the universe for this shit....

>>92900015
>>92900728
>>92900738
>Be Sergeant Yuri
>We get the instructions easily enough and head out, Scarlett and her company staying behind to accomplish their own objectives, I wish them luck and we part ways.
>We double time it down the hall, with any luck we can get in and out before an—
>Several warp portals open in front of us and daemonettes dressed as librarians and teachers pop out, reinforced by the same nerdy cultists with sharpy markings from the shrine world coming out the doors.
>Guess that cult was more widespread than we thought.
>We open some doors on the sides and use them as cover while we fire at them.
>I ask if anyone had seen Zeta or if trooper Anya still has her heavy stubber?
>Sasha is in the back taking cover behind a chair in the lobby still.

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>>92886259
>>92890148
>>92891514
>>92891878
>>92893908
>>92900738
>>92901137
>Be newbie ordo chronos Inquisitor code name [REDACTED].
JustGotMyRosette.png
>My first solo mission is investigating the temporal disturbances surrounding a certain valhallan regiment with help from the ordo ludicrum
TechnicallyI'mInCharge.vox
>Since all they sent was an interrogator.
>My master Inquisitor [censored by his holy ordos] also told me that this is somehow linked to the four swords of [DATA EXPUNGED].
>If we can destroy them before [ERROR: 404], then we can prevent the [censored] black crusade before it happens, and stop the death of [DATA EXPUNGED].
> Unfortunately my master couldn't give me more details as it would mess too much with [DATA EXPUNGED].
>I managed to park my time machine in one of the filing rooms in the admin building on the first try and decided to wait in the lobby for the interrogator to get here.
>I sit next to a navy pilot and we talk to pass the time.
>For some reason he's running very late.
> Sometime later some valhallans and felinids in leotards with capes kick down the door and start shooting up the place, then several daemonettes in sexy librarian outfits spawn in, one of the female valhallans is ducking behind my chair
>Emperor help me, its my first day as a real inquisitor and already things are this bad?

>>92886259
I didn't read enough to know exactly what this is about, but it looks like some 40k shit. As such, I must point out that whatever this is probably could have just been posted in the 40k general thread. The general exists for a reason. Stop shitting up the board with endless 40k threads.

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>Be an overweight faggot that gets absolutely zero pussy
>Create this thread
>Write up some goofy ass 10 line story that no one cares about

>>92902377
>>92902482
>Be epitome of wannabe jannie
>Practicing doing it for free
>Be completely ignorant of /tg/s board culture, or otherwise interested in keeping it as rigid and matching my particular idea of it as possible, which involves killing off any vestige of creativity whatsoever.

Fuck off, they've been around, and for Chrissake, they've been fucking effort posting for once. Isn't there some other thread you entered about something you didn't like to get mad at? You fuckers are why shit doesn't get done on /tg/ anymore.

>>92905043
Cool story. Tell us more about it in /40kg/

>>92902377
>>92902482
>>92906356
Seriously either learn your history or fuck off! They’re just trying to have fun in one of the ways TG used to back in the day. Sorry if it affects your precious generals or goblin/ elf coomer threads that get posted over and over again.

>>92891878
>>92900610
>Be Warbringer Illith of legio Terbous
WeAreOneWithTheCrewAndTheCrewIsOneWithUs.Daemonengine
>Magos Vert deployed us in the wastelands and we made our way towards hive Quartiusium
>Spotting the top of the Imperator was easy, as it it was the only brightly colored towers in a sea of grey and black buildings
>My fellow Warbringer Nemesia find a nice ridge and position ourselves outside of range of the Imperator’s guns but within range of our Nemesis Quakecannons
>Our legions reavers and warlords holding back for now so we can soften up the loyalists
>We say a quick prayer to Vashtorr, the TRUE Omnissiah then begin the bombardment of the hive and Titan
PerryThis.ArtilleryStrike

>>92901137
>>92902354
>Be Trooper Sasha, Valhallan Ice Warriors
>I duck behind a chair and start blasting away at librarian cultists
>There is someone crouched beside me in fancy robes, I figure it is some Munitorum bigwig and ignore them
>I pop my head up to assess the cultist mob
>It seems the Slaaneshi faction is now the dominant one in that relationship, at least in this particular grouping
>The Slaaneshi got the daemons, the psykers, and most of the mutants and cultists
>More than a few cultists and mutants look like they were former Tzeenchites who were converted, forcibly or otherwise
>In fact, the only ones who aren’t obviously Slaaneshi are the ones coming out of the doors rather than the portals and were therefore likely in the building incognito for some time
>Who knows, maybe Yuri’s weird witchhunt for the allegedly evil desk clerk may actually turn up some genuine heresy
>I open fire on the nearest daemonette, but accomplish nothing more than burning a few holes in its turtleneck
>Ugh, I hate it when daemons are overpowered due to warp fluctuations or whatever
>I hide under the nearest desk and hope the daemonettes rush Yuri or Scarlett’s mob instead

>>92901137
>>92908656
>Be Trooper Kaplan
>We finally found the admin building that keeps fucking us over
>Breached into it like we were a breacher squad
>Unfortunately for us, seems like it's chaos again
>Slaaneshi and Tzeentchien Cultists and daemons
>Oh fuck my ex wife is probably here someone
"Comrades keep a look out for keeper of secrets. I don't want to be hooked in my other arm, especially if it's my ex wife"
>Bring up Lasgun and take pot shots from behind cover when applicable
>Pretty decent at taking shots but my beefed up melee is where it's at thanks to the bionic arm from the forge world
>Snipe a librarian daemonette, unfortunately no satisfying bloody mess due to them being a warp creature

>>92909010
>>92907937
>Still be Kapkan
>Apparently somethings bombing the hive city
>How do I know this?
>Well simply put there's a muffled thudding sound coming from around the place
>Worked with enough artillery crews to know what that sounds like
>God Emperor do I hope it doesn't crash into us
>I continue to fire on the daemonettes who begin to rush forwards crab claws ready to slash into us
>See several more warp portals opening up within the library
>To add insult to injury seems like Khorne wanted in on the fun and sent out several blood letters
>The blood letters however begin to not only fight us but the other daemons as well
>Watch as a tzeentch cultist gets bisected and a daemonette gets her head caved in
>Really hope Nurgle doesn't turn up
>Last thing I need to do is catch a cold

>>92891514
>>92900728
>>92900738
>>92901137
>>92902354
>>92907937
>>92908656
>>92909010
>>92909152
>Be Felinid merc captain Scarlett
>Before we can get the info from the secretary several warp rifts open around the lobby and daemonettes dressed as librarians come in.
>My mercs jump behind the desk and start opening fire, keeping the secretary down.
>Amber takes out a cultist who was wearing nothing but paper,
>Violet throws a knife between the eyes of a daemonette with glasses and fishnet stockings holding a ruler.
>I explode the head of a daemonette dressed as a school girl.
>Of course it’s Slaanesh.
>It’s ALWAYS Slaanesh.
>Seriously what is it about Slaanesh?
>Just once I’d like to fight something from one of the other chaos gods.
Be_careful_what_you_whish_for.Tzeentch
>After I think that another group of warp rifts open, and blue and pink horrors wearing fishnets, piercings, and whips emerge, slaughtering the remaining imperial civiez.
>The blood is apparently enough to also summon blood letters into the fray.
>I just had to open my big mo—
HolyShit.holo
>Is that Tiff? What’s she doing here?
>Also who’s that weirdly dressed guy she’s with?
SeamsFamiliar.chrono
>And why is the whole hive shaking now?

>>92909152
>Be Kapkan
>Continuing to fire upon the various daemons
>Blood letters rampaging through daemonettes and blue/pink horrors
>Raining down Lasgun volleys upon anything I can see
>First rank fire second rank fire type shit
>Wonder if this'll get me enough rep to get up to sergeant level
>We have been needing some officers recently
>Some daemonettes rush in and managed to get up close
>My comrades fight them with bayonets
>I fight them with my bionic arm with a bayonet built into it
>Toughness 3 daemonettes Vs strength 6 weapon doesn't do well for them
>Smash in a few heads and slash at necks
"Don't let up lads, we hold them back till we find answers"

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>>92891878
>>92902354
>>92907937
>>92908656
>>92909152
>>92909360
>>92909485
>Be Sergeant Yuri
>Curently be fighting three flavors of chaos, two of which with swapped personalities, and cultist in the lobby of an admnistratum building alongside felinids.
JustAnotherDayInThe545th.pic
>Watch Sasha duck behind the desk with the cat girls and secretary as Kapkan crushes the head of a daemonette.
>"Don't let up lads, we hold them back till we find answers"
>Trooper Kapkan's battle cry seams to motivate the troops to fight through the daemons just a bit harder.
>Even the Mordian recruts are getting into the spirit of valhallan style of fighting and have begun beating the cultists with broken bits of chair when they get too close.
>Anya gets her heavy stubber working and mows down some pink horrors and the resulting blue horrors along with some cultists.
GoGoGo.Guard
>We advance down the right hallway, some surviving Imperial citizens following, one seems kind of familiar but I can't quite place his face.
>While we run we take shots at the daemonettes and blood letters that keep spawning in around us, some go down some don't and we're forced into melee with them which is never fun for guardsmen.
>As we sprint the hive starts to shake.
>Kapkan says it sounds like an artillery bombardment and I grin to myself.
>This is exactly why I had that princeps park his titan over the building, so nothing could interrupt us from getting to the bottom of this.
AllAccordingToKeikaku.Creed
>Rounding another corner we find the cultists have set up a filing cabinet barricade and have their own heavy guns set up.
>There's no way through, and we need some backup.
>They haven't noticed us yet as they're too busy holding off a wave of bloodletters coming from a portal somewhere down another hall.
>I order the vox officer forward and put in a call to the arch magos explorator to see if she could send down some skitarii backup.

>>92909485
>>92910706
>Be Trooper Kapkan
>Moving up through the library with Yuri and friends
>Laying down fire on the enemy with Lasgun volleys and melee attacks
>Anya got the heavy stubber ready to mow down the enemy
>That reminds me
>With my new bionic arm I ought to get myself a bolter
>Would be able to handle the recoil due to the arm
>Leave this for later as we come across a cultist position that's been fortified
>They are holding off blood letters but we can't get through that even with the heavy stubber
>Peak head from around a corner and look around for anything
>Currently mostly waiting for response from anyone able to get us reinforcements
>Artillery still impacting around, the thuds would be deafening if we were outside
>Oh what's that
>My eyes spot a traitor guardsman sergeant with a bolter
>He's firing at the blood letters meaning he's probably leading the Cultists
>Or he's just one of their officers
>Either way, there's a bolter involved
>Sometimes wonder if I'm actually a Savlar Chemdog when there's nice weapons involved.
>Soon

>>92908656
>Be Trooper Sasha, Valhallan Ice Warriors
>A daemonette wearing nothing but thick glasses and a tie grabs my ankle and pulls me out from under the desk
>I stab it in the heart with my backup knife and it surprisingly works
>The daemonette explodes into a cloud of ash and dried skin as it gets sucked back into the warp, moaning sensually as it does so
>Oh good, not all the daemonettes are the strong type
>I get back on my feet and take a look around
>The good news is that my ankle doesn’t hurt too much
>The bad news is that in the ten seconds I was hiding under a desk, a shit ton of additional daemons showed up, including some weird ones that look both Slaaneshi and Tzeenchite, and some Khornate ones that start attacking the other daemons
>Also things have degenerated into a free for all melee with only a few Imperials far enough from the melee to keep shooting
>Melee with daemons, cultists, and mutants, not ideal no matter how weak or strong they are
>Suddenly something jumps on my back and tries to shove a letter opener in my mouth
>Figures, after fighting the horrors of the galaxy, I get killed by a tart with a small knife

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>>92891878
>>92894217
>>92900610
>>92907937
>>92910706
>Be arch magos explorator prime
>Currently enjoying a nice warm oil bath as my ship refuels.
>Let out a long relaxed sigh and fully submerge myself in the warm oil, enjoy a nice moment of peace and quiet.
...
>As soon as I surface hear warning klaxons.
NotAgain.Binary
>Rap a towel around myself and rush to the bridge.
status_report.tech
Deja_Vu.Engram
>An Angry Marines deadnought is tearing apart my ship slaughtering bondmen and servitors.
>Kind of forgot I picked that thing up.
>About to send a message to subdue him, when Kicker of Asses is reporting fire from enemy god engines.
WhereDidTheyComeFrom.mp3
>Another message comes in through vox
WhatNow.dataslate
>Yuri wants skitarii back up, apparently the admin office is infested with neverborn.
OneAtATime.exe
>Start sorting out the list.
>First things first, dispatch skitarii to deal with the deadnought.
>Then dispatch a marshal and some skitarii squads to deal with whatever Yuri needs on the ground so I don't need to think about it anymore.
>Next start a sensor sweep for any vessels big enough to haul god engines.
>Once again I seem to be the only void capable ship in the system at the moment, so any space battles fall to me.
>Order us out of dry dock.
>Can't
>Why?
>We aren't done refueling yet.
sigh.binary
>Tell them to undock as soon as we can then go to my quarters to put on a proper robe.

>>92910766
>>92911243
>>92910706
>>92911084
>Be Trooper Kapkan
>Get report from Vox officer that the Arch Magos will be sending us some backup
>Hooray, I can steal that bolter
>I mean, hooray we can get through that entrenched position
>Once we also deal with this big mob that got into melee with us
>Continue to fight with my bionic arm, crushing skulls, slashing at jugulars and impaling tzeentch daemons in the face with the inbuilt knife
>Spot a enraged clerk leap onto Sasha's back and try to rip her mouth open with a letter opener
>Seems like somebody finally went postal
>Quickly punch away a cultist and then switch to my Lasgun
>Time to take a very risky shot
>Open up VATS
>Select the head of the enemy on the back of Sasha
>Let loose a shot but miss
>Should have invested in energy weapons more than melee
>At least I didn't hit Sasha

>Be Heretek Diane
>After fleeing my old life, I found myself in some sort of pocket dimension ruled by Lady Keikake
>I have learned many, many things since coming here, most of them I would have rather not known
>Perhaps the Imperium’s rules against seeking out new knowledge weren’t so misguided after all
>Too late now I suppose
>Lady Keikake works for something called “The Cultural Exchange Program”, which is a reference to the unusual cooperation between the servants of two Primordial Gods known as “Slaanesh” and “Tzeentch”
>Lady Keikake herself resembles a Tzeenchite, but also has a strong Slaaneshi side, and seems to favor the Slaaneshi when it comes to fighting or maintaining discipline
>She refers to her more scholarly followers as “nerds” and other obscure insults and encourages the Slaaneshi to abuse us as part of the “cultural exchange”
>Also as part of the “cultural exchange” the Slaaneshi are expected to dress up as (their interpretation) of “nerds”, while the “nerds” and other Tzeentchites have to dress up in the most degrading manner possible
>I feel the “nerds” got the raw end of the deal on that one, because according to the Slaaneshi, dressing like a “nerd” means dressing like their normal selves, except with bits of clothing from their past lives at various offices, law firms, fancy prep schools, and libraries
>Life in Lady Keikake’s pocket dimension is a whirlwind of madness
>When I am not taking part in (or recovering from) “cultural exchanges” or missions, I am inexorably drawn to take a book from the pocket dimension’s vast library of forbidden and maddening knowledge and read it until what is left of my sanity shatters yet again
>No matter how many times I die (whether during “cultural exchanges”, self-inflicted injuries, or on missions), I just reappear back at the pocket dimension, albeit a little less sane, and a little less human

>>92912653
>Speaking of missions these are yet another source of never-ending joy in my life (I am still learning how sarcasm works, but that was sarcasm)
>Lady Keikake and her lieutenants treat the low ranking “nerds” as 100% expendable, seemingly under the assumption that as long as enough of us are around at any given time, probably at least one of us will have the relevant knowledge to complete whatever task is needed
>This current mission is somewhat personal
>Fleeing this particular group of Valhallan Guardsmen was how I ended up in Lady Keikake’s service to begin with, so I look forward to stymieing their objectives any way I can
>I step out of the portal near the front of the pack and into the office building where the Valhallans are seeking some forbidden knowledge of their own
>I get fatally shot almost instantly
>No doubt I will be sent back in the minute I reappear back in the pocket dimension
>And again, and again, and again
>Today is going to be a long day
>But maybe worth it if I can cause even a little pain or frustration to the Valhallans

>Be me.
>Interrogator Gussiusvan.
>Still be stuck in traffic when suddenly someone starts bombarding the hive!
>I get out of my car and try to find cover.
>The titan down the street seams a good idea because of it’s void shields
>Along the way I see people running way from scantily dressed horrors
>This certainly seams like something the Ordo Ludicrum was created to solve… I just have no idea what I’m supposed to do about this situation
>Thone, is this how the Ordo Maledictum feels all the time?

>>92911407
>>92912676
>Be Trooper Kapkan
>Decide to fire again at the figure on Sasha's back
>Target the head and let loose a shot
>Hits the target this time causing it's grip on Sasha to loosen
>She's got it from here so I turn around and smack a blood letter in the jaw with my arm
>Spot a cultist gets instantly domed by one of my friends
>Chuckle somewhat as I let out a brief Lasgun volley and then smack a blue horror with my Lasgun's but
>This lot won't let up, hope those damn skitarii get here soon
>See the traitor Guardsmen and his cultist friends getting overwhelmed by the blood letters
>Well at least I won't have to fight him for his bolter
>Wonder if there's a way to punch through that entrenchment now that they've been bogged down by the blood letters

Bump

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>>92891878
>>92910706
>>92911243
>>92918246
>Be Warbringer Illith of legio Terbous
>The Imperator class still hasn't moved from its stop despite our bombardment
>Our rounds are yet to pierce its void shields but the surrounding city is in ruins
>Manifold is also picking up neverborn signatures at the titan's feet
>Hopfully some can get inside and cause havoc for the crew
>Magos Navis Vert has reported the Ark has begun looking for him, so they're going into silent running for a bit
Bravo6GoingDark.vox
>Many of the titans are getting antsy about just standing
>Especially the khorne aligned ones
>It gets to the point two reavers break ranks and start charging into the hive to claim glory
>Me and the other four warbringers don't stop the bombardment though
IfHeDiesHeDies.FriendlyFire
>Auspex is also picking up skitarii landers approaching from the west (we are on the east side of the city)
>We'll shoot down any that get close to us with our anti air guns

This gay thread is still up?

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>>92910706
>>92911084
>>92911243
>>92911407
>>92918246
>>92924260
>Be Felinid Merc Captain Scarlett.
>Sasha cowers with us behind the desk.
>My mercs keep firing our long lases and cutting any that get close with our knives.
>The secretary is panicking, praying, and shaking talking about how this can't be happening.
> Sometimes I forget how fucked up this can be to people that aren't used to it like me and Yuri.
pic related to the secretary
>Speaking of Yuri, him and his men just abandoned us in the lobby and rush off down the hall leaving Sasha behind
>Sasha gets taken away by a cultist under the desk, one of Yuri's men comes back and tries to shoot it, misses and hits Cyan in the shoulder
WatchItJackassFriendlyFireIsOn.png
>The cyborg valhallan gets his act together and explodes the cultists head.
>One down, but we're still going to be overwhelmed and the hive is still shaking from whatever's going on outside.
>Just then hear what sounds like archaeopter engines (after the fight on the forgeworld, that sound is unmistakable).
>The stained glass window above us is smashed and a skitarii kill team swings in on ropes.
>Ruststalkers and infiltrators get into melee, while rangers and vanguard provide cover fire.
>Their marshal lands on top of the desk and starts issuing orders to his troops in binary and taking shots with his radium serpenta.
>Maybe we're not doomed after all?

>>92918246
>>92924741
>Be Trooper Kapkan
>Finally good news
>The skitarii have arrived and have begun to further fight the entrenched cultists
>The blood letters swinging wildly I decide now is the perfect time to strike
>We've cleared this bit anyway so I lift up my bionic arm and shout from the top of my lungs
"They're on the back foot lads let's push forward"
>Bring down my arm and open fire to assist the skitarii against the daemons and cultists
>Slightly feel like someone's glaring at me intensely
>Briefly turn my head and one of the felinds is giving me a death glare
>Turns out accidentally hit her when I was getting the cultist off Sasha
>Well wouldn't be the first woman I've accidentally pissed off
>My ex wife knows all about that

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>>92911084
>>92911243
>>92924741
>>92925982
>Be sergeant Yuri.
>The skitarii reinforcements finally arrive, and not a moment too soon as we are about to be overwhelmed.
>Ruststalkers leap into the melee REEEing and manage to push back the daemons.
>Kapkan hits a blue horror with the butt of his gun.
>Sasha has to get her ass saved (again).
>Rangers and vanguard set up gunlines beside ours in the hall, with the skitarii marshal joining my side.
>Another gunline is set up facing the opposite way so we don't get attacked from behind by the daemons and cultists still in the lobby.
>"They're on the back foot lads let's push forward"
>We manage to charge in and destroy the filing cabinet barricade, advancing deeper and deeper into the facility we turn several more hallways till we finally come face to face with the door of the mastermind behind all of this.
>We ready ourselves for whatever we find behind that door.

>>92925982
>>92927674
>Be Trooper Kapkan
>The rallying cry moves us all forward and we tear down the barricade
>I take this opportunity to nab that bolter from the dead Traitor guardsman
>I do still keep my Lasgun just incase the bolter runs out
>My arm will be great for controlling the recoil
>Eventually we arrive at a very big door
>I stand next to sergeant Yuri and look at the door
"Comrade Yuri, let's make this son or daughter of a cyuka pay for those worlds we had to go to. For the comrades we've lost"

>>92927674
>Be me Ordo chronos newbie Inquisitor [REDACTED]
>Somehow I found myself rapped up in these valhallans antics and dragged along through hordes of daemons along side a random pilot
>I’d probably be dead without them, and something about how used to all this they seam is oddly calming
>I’ve definitely also seen their commander before, I think he was in the [REDACTED] wars so probably best I keep him alive
>We come to a locked door that just so happens to be the office of the guy I was sent here to find with the Ordo Ludicrum
>In all honesty these valhallans are probably the safest chance this guy has at getting out of here alive.
“I can help get the door open” I say then pull out my [CENSORED BY HIS HOLY ORDOS] press the button, the light turns on and the door unlocks without issue.

>Be me
>Bumping thread
>Get killed by titan artillery fire
>Die

>>92886259
What traditional game is being discussed here and how does it pertain to gameplay?

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>>92928067
>>92931744
>Be sergeant Yuri.
>"Comrade Yuri, let's make this son or daughter of a cyuka pay for those worlds we had to go to. For the comrades we've lost"
>I nod and try the door.
>Its locked.
>“I can help get the door open”
>Said the familiar inquisitor guy, he pulls out a familiar device that makes a buzzing noise and jogs my memory to the desert planet
>I remember this guy.
>I remember dying.
>I remember something else.
>I remember Zeta telling me something important.
>I remember [DATA EXPUNGED]
>I ask him his name and he makes a beeping noise with his mouth somehow.
>That confirms it.
>This is the guy.
>This is the one who Zeta told me about and who I was... that's not important right now, it can wait.
>We open the door and see a small pathetic man buried in papers.
>He says something about making an appointment then I punch him in the face and knock him out, then put him over my shoulders.
>Now we have him, we just need to get out of here.
>Good thing we have someone with an ark mechanics in orbit.

>>92935236
>Still be Yuri
>Before we go I spy a file listing all the commissars that have been "accidentally" killed after being assigned to our regiment.
>I quietly put that document in a candle before we leave.

>>92928067
>>92935236
>>92935248
>>92931744
>Be Trooper Kapkan
>Enter into the room after weird beeping inquisitor opens the door for us
>Was expecting a fight but what we got is a disheveled old man
>Whines about us not having an appointment only to be knocked out by Yuri
>Also see Yuri put a piece of paper to fire
>Well time to leave I guess, it'll be a fight out for certain
>Seeing as I've started to smell a smell
>A smelly smell that smells smelly
>Turn to look behind and see the blood letters getting ripped apart by a massive keeper of secrets
>Look at her face
>Oh fuck
>It's my ex Wife
"Alright we get out now! My ex wife just spawned"
>Begin to book it, I'm not getting napped by my ex again
>Can't afford to lose another arm

Bump

I think we’re nearing the bump limit so I’ll say this now. As always thank you to everyone who took part and was keeping it up while I worked and slept. Sorry to the people that enjoy these that I haven’t made one in a long time, but work has been very hectic. It seams a bit sad I’m the only one that still makes these, i had hoped me doing them would spark interest in this format again but so far that hasn’t happened I know Marcus Scumbag’s poster said he was doing a sequel to his thread but so far that hasn’t happened. Then again there was that Siege thread a while ago, so maybe they’ll come back. I don’t want this to be the end but I’m also running out of ideas for the Valhallans, I’m not completely out but I figured I’d ask people; if there’s any planet types they want to see again? Again I don’t want this to be the end for Yuri but it could be.

Also 1d4chan seams to be down again and no one seams to have backed up our page on these threads to 1d6chan yet.

Anyway, once again thank you to everyone who took part, I hope this isn’t the end but you never know.

>>92942098
We haven't done a paradise world for a long time, also I don't think anyone ever tried an agri-world, which could be fun. Holiday themed threads usually bring out a few posters as well.

Unfortunately I don't think that 1d6chan picks up stuff that was added to 1d4chan during the 2-3 month period prior to it going down.

>>92942098
Fair enough dude, works been a bitch to me as well hence why I haven't been able to start on the next stage of the Marcus story combined with some writers block.

I guess in terms of planets to see we haven't done a paradise world or agri world thread yet

>>92942259
>>92942297
Thanks for the suggestions, I could probably do paradise world next as a bit of a vacation for Yuri and his men. Though when I don’t know. And I was already planning on doing a cemetery world for Halloween and another thread about the Tallarn for Christmas. Maybe I could also send them to different planets once I finally run out of ideas?

Though I did have trouble posting the name of this thread. I don’t know if the title was too long, or if one of the mods potentially doesn’t like this kind of thread.

>>92942297
>>92942718
Also I get the writers block. That’s partially why I don’t post as Yuri so often in these threads anymore and wait for things to play out so they give me ideas.

we probably should have bumped this morning in order to have most of the day to wrap things up, now this will fall off the board in the next few hours, so make your final posts soon unless we want to make a new thread

>Be Trooper Sasha, Valhallan Ice Warriors
>As I try to keep the cultist on my back from cutting my face off, a few lines of lasfire crackle past my head
>I guess I should appreciate the effort from my comrades, though some of those came dangerously close to burning off my own head instead
>One of the shots finally grazes the cultist and I manage to wriggle free and stab her deep in the eye with her own letter opener
>The melee in this area seems to have died down somewhat as more and more of the Khornates, Slaaneshi, and Tzzentchites kill each other in addition to losses inflicted by the Guard, felinid mercs, and some Skitarii that appeared from God-Emperor knows where
>I rush deeper into the facility to form up with the rest of the Valhallans, weaving through small skirmishes as I do so
>After just a brief shootout with a blue horror wearing fishnets and a spiked bra, and a cultist with a hollowed out pict-recorder on his head, I reach the rest of the Valhallans outside some big, ornate door
>The guy in the fancy robes from earlier opens the door and everyone rushes in
>Yuri punches out the clerk he has been obsessed with for ages and throws him over his shoulder
>We all turn to leave, and then a large wave of Slaaneshi and Tzeentchites overwhelms the group of bloodletters our rearguard was holding off
>They are being led by a Keeper of Secrets wearing thick glasses and a golden chain that says “nerd” on it
>YEBANOYE DER’MO!!!
>We do not have the numbers to take on that sort of power!
>Some of the Valhallans start trying to “tactically reposition” (flee) around the enemy formation instead
>That seems like a good idea...

>>92935502
>>92946301
>Be Trooper Kapkan
>Begin to tactically fall back from the library
>My ex wife is currently on a war path ripping through blood letters so bad it's causing my blood to turn white
>Then I feel her baleful glare
"KAPKAN! GET THE FUCK OVER HERE!"
>Her voice echoes throughout the library as I begin to double time it
>She bats aside a score of daemons of all stripes and begins to chase our regiment down
>Not even caring who she takes out whilst on the war path
>I'm fairly sure Khorne probably took her from Slaanesh for a bit at this rate
>A trooper falling back along with me asks how she knows me
"Long story short comrade that's my ex wife Svetlana, I'm not sure when she became a keeper of secrets or if she always was one but let's just say. It fell apart when I joined up"
>My arm aches
>A phantom pain
>But the cool robot arm is worth it
>Oddly enough though it only seemed to kick in thanks to Svetlana being nearby

>Be Heretek Diane
>I reappear back in Keikake’s pocket dimension for the third time today
>I sigh, step through the nearby portal, and find myself in the office building yet again
>At least now the fighting seems to have moved away from the immediate vicinity of the portal
>I walk through the field of dead bodies and overturned desks and loot my laspistol from the most recent of my three dead bodies
>The fighting seems to have moved to down at the end of the hall, where the shapely figure of the Keeper of Secrets known as Svetlana the Scrotum Collector looms over everything else
>I get mesmerized by her glamours for a while, and am completely surprised when a Defiler appears behind me, and one of the daemonettes riding it demand that I climb aboard and man the heavy stubber bolted to the top
>Who puts a heavy stubber on a Defiler?
>I hesitate due to the fact the Defiler is covered in writhing tentacles and moaning faces, also the remains of the previous stubber gunner seem to be fused with the daemon engine
>But then the daemonette gives me the “you will be tortured for all eternity if you don’t do what I say” look and I climb onboard and awkwardly push the corpse of the previous gunner out of the way so I can kneel behind the heavy stubber
>I muffle a scream as the tentacles wrap around by legs to hold me in place and the Defiler shakes violently as it careens towards the fight
>Some of the Valhallans are fleeing the fight and I gun a few down with the heavy stubber
>At last I have a small measure of revenge against the Valhallans, though I suspect if I don’t find a way off this Defiler soon I will become permanently a part of it

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>>92935502
>>92946301
>>92946394
>>92947053
>Be sergeant Yuri.
>A keeper of secrets appears and we book it out
BennyHillTheme.vox
>We dodge blades and cultitst shots till we reach one of the skitarii's landers a couple more of us dying along the way.
>We pile into the lander and take off letting the pilot handle dodging the artillery.
>I look out the window and see the god engine fall.
>We're out and home free now with our prize.

>>92946301
>>92947053
>Be Trooper Sasha, Valhallan Ice Warriors
>I hear Yuri yell out that we need to make it to the Skitarii landers
>Unfortunately I ran to the left of the Slaaneshi-Tzeenchite mob while Yuri and the landers are on the right hand side of the hall
>End up booking it the long way around the hostile mob while occasionally coming under fire from the defiler and armed cultists
>Somehow survive, but extremely winded and overheated in my greatcoat
>It is only as the lander flies to safety do I realize that the city is also under attack from some chaos titans
>Oh well, not my problem
>I sit back in my chair and reflect on the fact that this mission didn’t go too badly compared to certain others
>I wonder if Yuri will get the answers he wants, but it isn’t really my problem