>>282062
>>Attempt to rush in, grab Zhukov, and run the fuck away. (Agility)

>>282062
>Attempt to rush in, grab Zhukov, and run the fuck away. (Agility)
Agility is what Claw is best at.

>>282062
>Attempt to rush in, grab Zhukov, and run the fuck away. (Agility)

Whelp, roll me a 1d20+10 for snatch&grab

Rolled 7 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>282114

Rolled 8 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>>282114

>>282123
7+10=17

Minor Success!

You carefully slink under the Russian snow, careful to not out yourself. It helps that your fur is white (although sticky), and you close in carefully on Zhukov's Command Tent.

Inside, you hear chatter, and you carefully peek inside via ripping a hole. Zhukov, and three of his lieutents are talking to each other, and look at you as you rip a hole in the tent. You proceed to grab Zhukov and run the fuck away, as mortar, artillery, tank, and infantry shots go everywhere. The camp is extremely confused, and you have successfully kidnapped Zhukov, who is covered in your slime.
Mission Successful.

You are Renexizious, and you have just gotten word that Zhukov has been taken prisoner... Good. This could work out well.

Actions
>Interrogate him.
>Eat him as an example to the rest of his men. (Intimidate)
>Mutate him, and try to get him to make the USSR soldiers to surrender. (Charisma, HARD)
>Write-In

>>282137
>Interrogate him.
Information first, action later.

>>282137
>Mutate him, and try to get him to make the USSR soldiers to surrender. (Charisma, HARD)

>>282137
>Interrogate him.

>>282137
>Mutate him, and try to get him to make the USSR soldiers to surrender. (Charisma, HARD)

You guys really like this whole mutate thing, don't you?

Rolled 1 (1d2)

Rolling for what you guys do.

1=Interrogate
2=Mutate

You set up a rudimentary basement for interrogation, and you bring in Zhukov.

Current Form: Dragonblood

"Ah. Zhukov. Do you know who I am?"

The man curses you in Russian. Right. You forgot he didn't speak Swedish.
Actions

>Thanks to your amazing intellect, those few words should be all you need to decode the Russian language! (Lingustics.)
>Just bring in a translator.

>>282175
>Thanks to your amazing intellect, those few words should be all you need to decode the Russian language! (Lingustics.)

>>282175
>>Thanks to your amazing intellect, those few words should be all you need to decode the Russian language! (Lingustics.)
Time to learn.

>>282175
>Thanks to your amazing intellect, those few words should be all you need to decode the Russian language! (Lingustics.)

>>282175
>Thanks to your amazing intellect, those few words should be all you need to decode the Russian language! (Linguistics.)

Roll me a 1d20+2 for linguistics.

Rolled 10 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>282185

Rolled 8 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>282185

Rolled 8 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>282185

>>282186
10+2=12

Failure!

You get some words wrong... And your fairly sure you just called him "father of dog". He angrily spits in your face.

Well then. You guess you can always give him a universal language... Draconic.

Actions
>Get a translator in here.
>Mutate him, so he will understand Draconic and speak it.
>Try to learn further. (Linguistics, HARD)

>>282202
>Get a translator in here.

>>282202
>>Try to learn further. (Linguistics, HARD)

>>282202
>Try to learn further. (Linguistics, HARD)

>>282202
>Mutate him, so he will understand Draconic and speak it.

Whelp, roll me a 1d20+2 again

Rolled 20 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>282216

>>282219
Finally.

File: Off_the_Rails.gif (2.32 MB, 349x230)

2.32 MB GIF

>>282219
Wha...

What the fuck am I supposed to write? You create a new language? Draconic Russian? Do you speak Russian better then a Russian? Are you Shakespeare in Russian?
WHAT EVEN!

>>282233
All of the above.

>>282233
I really don't know. But, I'm assuming our linguistic goes up?

>>282219
20+2=22
Critical Success!

Good morrow to you, sir, I hope thee knoweth me as Emperor Renexizious?"

"What is with your strange accent, comrade?"

"Good heavens! I doth not knoweth why I speak in this tongue!"

"What? What do you want?"

"Ah, mine thurirl, my wish is to speaketh with you."
You accidentally put some minor draconic in there, calling him friend. Is this the start of a new language?

New Language: Draconic Russian

Actions

>Interrogate this wastrel!
>Thee shalt turn him into one of your kin.
>Write-In

>>282252
>>Interrogate this wastrel!

>>282252
>Interrogate this wastrel!
Man, I'm laughing right now, that was perfect!

>>282252
>Interrogate this wastrel!

So now we're Shakespearean speaking dragons?

>>282252
>Interrogate this wastrel!

>>282261
I even gave you a skill called Theatercraft: 2

Only in russian.

You decide to interrogate this wastrel.
>>282261
Only in Russian, and I even gave you a skill called Theatercraft, with two ranks in it.

"Sir, wilt thee telleth me of thy plan?"

"Only if I get to go free."

"That wilt depend on if thy be true to thy answering, if I am fill'd with pangs of hunger and thee forswear to me."

"Fine... What do you want to know?'

"What doth thee knoweth?"

"I know that at the rate your gaining land, you'll be overwhelmined by Stalin's secret division."

"Secret Division?"

"I have spoken too much, if I continue I will be killed by the NVKD when I am released!"

"Doth thee forget I am fill'd with pangs of hunger at times? And thee seemeth to beest a tasty morsel indeed."

"Either way, I will die."

Actions
>Persuade him with Shakespearian! (Diplomacy)
>Intimidate him with your superior vocabulary! (Intimidate)
>Recieve your friend, Claw, to attempt diplomacy. (Claw's Diplomacy)
>Write-In

>>282286
>Persuade him with Shakespearian! (Diplomacy)

>>282286
>>Intimidate him with your superior vocabulary! (Intimidate)

>>282286
>>Persuade him with Shakespearian! (Diplomacy)

>>282286
>Intimidate him with your superior vocabulary! (Intimidate)

>>282286
>Intimidate him with your superior vocabulary! (Intimidate)

>>282286
>Intimidate him with your superior vocabulary! (Intimidate)

Looks like intimidate wins.

Roll me a 1d20+7 for angry Shakespearean.

Rolled 12 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>282313

Rolled 10 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>282313

Rolled 6 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>282315
12+7=19

Success!

"Doth thee keepth forgeting thee may await in mine stomach if thee continueth down this path?"

He quickly reconsiders, realizing digestion in your stomach is likely to be painful, and acidic as hell.

"Fine, dragon. What do you want to know?"

"Telleth me of this secret division thee spake of earlier, mortal."

"Stalin's Secret Divison... Well, the SSD is strange. No one knows who, or what they are. However, everyone knows they can be anyone, at anytime. It is quite strange. They apparently work for the NVKD, and infiltrate the ranks. The one way you can tell if someone is part of the SSD, gathering from my men, is their hands. Always shaped strangely, facing the opposite way."

"Valorous my good sir, now telleth me if 't be true thither beest any resistance in Moscow?"

"Not really, Stalin is mostly concerned with the Germans to the south. Not really with the Swedes."

Actions
>Interrogate him further (Write-In on what else you want explained.)
>Transform him so you can get his men to surrender... (Charisma, HARD)
>Eat him as an example to his men. (Intimidate)
>Send him back to his men.
>Get him to surrender. (Diplomacy)

>>282352
>Transform him so you can get his men to surrender... (Charisma, HARD)

>>282352
>>Transform him so you can get his men to surrender... (Charisma, HARD)
It's time for him to be rewarded for his cooperation.

>>282352
>Transform him so you can get his men to surrender... (Charisma, HARD)

I'm new so I just want to see what transforming others is like

>>282352
>Get him to surrender. (Diplomacy)
>Letting dirty Commies into our ranks

>>282352
Motation
>Transform him so you can get his men to surrender... (Charisma, HARD)
Also get him to convert to catholicism

Whelp, what mutagen do you guys want to use?

>Mutagen: Dragonblood (Could be risky, lack of Anesthetics in Leningrad, Low Loyalty Increase)

>Half-Dragon Mk2 (Heavy Loyalty Increase)
>Half Dragon Mk3 (Moderate Loyalty Increase)
>Half Dragon Shapeshift (No loyalty increase or decrease)

>>282360
Look up mutagens and mutagen effects in the character sheet then, because we'll likely need to pick what mutagen we give him.
>>282362
Why not? We kept Anitta didn't we?

>>282369
>Half Dragon Mk3 (Moderate Loyalty Increase)
Which one did we give to our generals now again? Mk2 or Mk3?

>>282369
>Half-Dragon Mk2 (Heavy Loyalty Increase)

>>282373
Mk2, if I am correct.

>>282369
>>Half-Dragon Mk2 (Heavy Loyalty Increase)

Looks like Mk2 wins.

You inject him with a syringe of Mutagen H-DMk2, which begins his transformation. His skin starts flaking off, and begins turning into blue scales. Georgy will serve you now. Not Stalin.

You set up some loudspeakers at the edge of the city, overlooking the USSR Camp.

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see how well you can persuade them to surrender and join you.

Rolled 11 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>282403

>>282378
Finally found it, Generals were Mk4 and Officers Mk3.
>>282403

Rolled 4 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>282403

Rolled 8 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>282403

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>282407
11+5=16

Bordercheck, roll me a 1d20, and I'll roll one. You have to beat my roll.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>282414

>>282423
Whelp.

5 vs 16

Overwhelming Success!

Georgy gives a massive speech, mostly about "A new, glorious union" and how he found the light etc... Too much communism involved for you to really care. Until you start hearing shooting from their camp. Apparently Georgy started a coup against the NVKD. A sudden fireball flies skyward...
It seems you might want to get involved before the coup fails.

Actions
>Send in your infantry to assist! (I roll against myself.)
>Fly overhead, and breathe ice everywhere. (Agility)
>Fly overhead, and come crashing down into the center of the camp. (Body)
>Fly over head, and spit acid at the NVKD. (Body)
>Write-In

>>282434
>Fly overhead, and come crashing down into the center of the camp. (Body)
DYNAMIC ENTRY!

>>282434
>>Fly overhead, and come crashing down into the center of the camp. (Body)

Whelp, roll me a 1d20+11 for smashing.

Rolled 4 + 11 (1d20 + 11)

>>282467

Rolled 12 + 11 (1d20 + 11)

>>282467

>>282478
12+11=23
Overwhelming Success!

You come flying overhead, and land smack dab in the center of the camp, crushing nearly twelve mages. The rest of the camp stops fighting for a few seconds to look at you, distracted that a fucking dragon is in their camp.
Actions
>Attempt to get the loyalist USSR members to surrender. (Diplomacy)
>Spit acid at the loyalist USSR members. (Body)
>Get the Loyalist USSR members to either flee or surrender, once you unleash a mighty roar. (Intimidate)
>Smash some of them to bits. That'll get the message across (Body)
>Write-In

>>282491
>>Attempt to get the loyalist USSR members to surrender. (Diplomacy)

>>282491
>>Attempt to get the loyalist USSR members to surrender. (Diplomacy)
We want whatever mages are still alive, we're in short supply of those.

>>282491
>Attempt to get the loyalist USSR members to surrender. (Diplomacy

>>282491
>Attempt to get the loyalist USSR members to surrender. (Diplomacy)
They are ours! All of them!

All of your humans belong to us.

Roll me a 1d20+8 to see how many surrender.

Rolled 10 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>282505

Rolled 15 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>282505

>>282515
15+8=23

Great Success!

"I recommend that thee surrender, knaves, for I for I wilt have mercy upon all, so long as thee serveth me."

The loyalists look around... And most surrender. Most likely because they don't feel like getting killed by a 400-ton dragon of death and destruction.

You return to Leningrad, your army reinforced with the traitors.
A month passes, as your men and the Russians start getting along better. Georgy is in command of the Second Division, and has taken a liking to his new form.

New Ally: Georgy Zhukov

It is currently December, and moving is very likely for you to loose soldiers.

Actions

>March to Moscow! (Body)
>You will go south to assist the Germans. (Body)
>You will fall back to Stockholm for the winter.
>You will stay in Leningrad.
>Write-in

>>282528
>You will fall back to Stockholm for the winter.

>>282528

>March to Moscow! (Body)

>>282528
>You will go south to assist the Germans. (Body)
If that's where the enemy is, then that's where we will go.

>>282528
>You will go south to assist the Germans. (Body)

>>282528
>You will go south to assist the Germans. (Body)

Roll me a 1d20+12 for helping the Germans. (+1 from Zhukov.)

Rolled 8 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

>>282557

Rolled 17 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

>>282557

Rolled 6 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

>>282557

>>282564
17+12=29

Overwhelming Success

By early Janurary, you get to Poland, flanking the USSR forces. The Germans are being slightly pushed back now, and none of your men have deserted.

Actions
>You will encircle the enemy and crush them! (Tactics)
>You will order bombardments and move in. (Tactics)
>You will order a blitzkrieg on their flank. (Tactics)
>Write-In

>>282577
>You will order a blitzkrieg on their flank. (Tactics)

Something came up last minute, I'll see you guys in a few hours.

>>282577
>>You will order a blitzkrieg on their flank. (Tactics)

File: going_for_a_walk.gif (2.47 MB, 480x270)

2.47 MB GIF

>>282583
This

>>282583
+1
blitzkrieg is bestkrieg

>>282577
Palms facing out what does that remind me of... also Russian high command is probably baba yaga or rasputin

>>282952
I could see the QM throwing in rasputin desu

>>283236
Yeah he's probably a lich

also OP I was wondering when we finish our magic university so we can write a letter to sweden/our family and ask for mages (if thats a possibility)

>>282062
Op ded

Alright, back.

Looks like Blitzkrieg Won, roll me a 1d20+4 for tactics.

Tactics leveled up!

>>283829
Sixteen Goddamn minutes

Rolled 18 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>283836

>>283836

Rolled 9 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>283844
Shit

Rolled 14 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

Dragon Lord have mercy on me.

>>283842
18+4=22

Good Success!

Your forces move down south, however aong the way you loose soldiers due to the cold, and one of the T-34 tanks was found with it's crew and hatch missing.

Lost: 4931x Infantry
Lost: 1 T-34 Tank

Current Forces
69,938x Human Infantry
123x Howitizers
40x Bombers
102x Mustangs
42,635x Imperial Volunteers
3923x Spanish Volunteers
2539x Light Tanks
25x Glacial Dragon Tanks
546x Medium Tanks
504x Heavy Tanks
4x Half Tracks
1x Panzer un Wehrwolf
150x Svea Livgarde Yuan-Ti
75x Draconic Corps

Eventually, you capture vital towns for supplies, and the enemy will start suffering attrition. Since most of their forces are on this front, you could blitz their supplies to drive them out further...

Actions
>Blitzkrieg their supply depots and liberate it for the Holy Empire.
>Fall back, and take over Moscow. (Body)
>Write-In

>>283863
>Blitzkrieg their supply depots and liberate it for the Holy Empire.

>>283863
>Blitzkrieg their supply depots and liberate it for the Holy Empire.

>>283863
>>Blitzkrieg their supply depots and liberate it for the Holy Empire.

>>283863
>blitz

>>283863
>convert the godless heathens to God, or you

>>283863
>Fall back, and take over Moscow. (Body)

You flank their forces further, while Georgy liberates Warsaw from the USSR forces. Apparently, reports of a millitary march and celebration of it's citizenry come through, and you find yourself behind the USSR's now abysmal front line. It requires little work to destroy it, and the pressure on Berlin is gone. You and the Germans now have a unified force... However, it will take two months to arrive at Moscow, during which you will surely be under heavy attack and ambush.

Actions

>You will ignore the guerillas and head straight for Moscow. (Body, VERY HARD)
>You will only attack Guerrilas that threaten the convoys directly. Will slow you down by another month. (Body, HARD)
>You will attack any guerillas that show their face! (Body.) You will be slowed down by two months.
>Write-In

Currently the month is Early December

>>283889
>You will ignore the guerillas and head straight for Moscow. (Body, VERY HARD)

>>283889
>>You will only attack Guerrilas that threaten the convoys directly. Will slow you down by another month. (Body, HARD)

>>283889
>ignore

>>283889
>You will attack any guerillas that show their face! (Body.) You will be slowed down by two months

Looks like Ignore wins. Roll me a 1d20+12 (+1 from Zhukov.)

Rolled 9 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

>>283914

Rolled 18 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

>>283914

>>283918
18+12=30

Success!

You rush there in record-breaking time, the defenders have had nearly little time to prepare... However, casulties along the way were high, even for you.

You lost: 10,400x Infantry
You lost: 1 Half Track
You lost twelve Medium Tanks

Moscow is barely able to be defended...

Actions

>Rush through it's defenders and straight to the Kremlin. This is easy as cake. (Body)
>Fly overhead. Your army can deal with the defenders... You have to deal with Stalin, however. (Agility)
>Need to get rid of defenders? Have General Winter work for you... (Agility)
>Who needs flesh when you have Acid Spit? (Body)
>Write-In

>>283914
http://youtu.be/aiSdTQ9DW9g

>>283933
>Fly overhead. Your army can deal with the defenders... You have to deal with Stalin, however. (Agility)

>>283933
>walk straight in with frost blaring at full power eating everyone you see

>>283933
>Rush through it's defenders and straight to the Kremlin. This is easy as cake. (Body)

>>283933
>>Who needs flesh when you have Acid Spit? (Body)

>>283954
changed to>Rush through it's defenders and straight to the Kremlin. This is easy as cake. (Body)

Whelp, roll me a 1d20+11 for rushing

Rolled 14 + 11 (1d20 + 11)

>>283964

Rolled 8 + 11 (1d20 + 11)

>>283973
14+11=25

Overwhelming Success

You rush through the pitiful Russian defenses, eating and tearing through buildings and men alike. Tank shells hit you, but deal little to no damage. Eventually, the Kremlin stands before you, with the last remnants of the Red Guard, who quickly flees at your approach.

Stalin, followed by twelve strange looking men, leave. Stalin looks up confidently at you. Expecting you to speak, no doubt.

Actions
>Boast how you have done what no mortal has done before, and how you have conquered Russia.
>Eat him. Probably safer then a monologue.
>Acid breath? Acid breath. You never liked Stalin's mustache anyways.
>Demand his surrender.
>Just crush him.

Current HP: 9540

>>283990
>Just crush him.

>>283990
>>Acid breath? Acid breath. You never liked Stalin's mustache anyways.

>>283990
>just freeze him

>>283990
>Demand his surrender.

>>283990
>Acid breath? Acid breath. You never liked Stalin's mustache anyways.

Let's see how Stalins facial hair holds up then.

>>283990
>Tell me where the princess is

You spit your acid straight into Stalin's fucking smug face. He screams and writhes in pain, while the rest of his staff looks at him, somewhat terrified by this. You note that his ears are... Pointed. The acid chews down to the bone, which is gleaming white.

"Who is in charge now?

A short, stubby man with a beard comes up.

"Oi! I am!"

"A... Dwarf? I bethought thy kind liveth in Sweden."

"Oi, I'll shove up your arrogance up your dragon arse! I'll take your wee little tail, and break it in half and serve to you in a straw! I'll take your shitty little horns and turn them into my codpiece! I'll take your dick and make into a bendy straw! I-" He continues ranting.

You feel a little self-conscious, and fall back just a little... Those things aren't true. Are they?

Actions
>Fuck it, declare yourself the emperor of Russia as well. If they have a dwarf in command, they'll probably follow you rather then the dwarf.
>You got what you came for. Just sign an aggrement with the Dwarf for their surrender.
>Why did Stalin come out in the first place? Might want to ask one of his other staff.
>Tell the dwarf he's been living among elves.
>Write-In

>>284054
>Why did Stalin come out in the first place? Might want to ask one of his other staff.

>>284054
>>Tell the dwarf he's been living among elves.

>>284054
>Why did Stalin come out in the first place? Might want to ask one of his other staff.
>Tell the dwarf he's been living among elves.

>>284061
>>284066
Both this

>>284054
>Fuck it, declare yourself the emperor of Russia as well. If they have a dwarf in command, they'll probably follow you rather then the dwarf.
We should probably deal with the fact that was probably a double later.

>>284054
>>Why did Stalin come out in the first place? Might want to ask one of his other staff.
>>Tell the dwarf he's been living among elves.

>>284054
>Fuck it, declare yourself the emperor of Russia as well. If they have a dwarf in command, they'll probably follow you rather then the dwarf.

Were you inspired by Ravandil's quest by chance?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rfdMjGUTEHg

>>284090
>>284090
What? Holy shit I'm going to watch these now.

Welp. OP is gonna be gone for half an hour watching Ravandil's quest. My bad everyone.

Rolled 2 (1d2)

Looks like a tie between Tell the Dwarf & Why out, and Declare Emperor.

Rolling.

1=Emperor
2=Tell Dwarf

You whisper (as quietly as a dragon can) to one of the staff.

"Why didst Stalin cometh out to see me?"

"He was planning on threatening you with a nuclear launch against Stockholm."

"That gent... Could that gent do't?"

"No. Everyone knows that Nuclear Strikes don't exist, it's just propoganda to keep the citizens working for Mother Russia. He was hoping you bought into it as well."

"Whither is Russia's might army and navy? Why wast't so easy to taketh ov'r?"

"Budget cuts, also Stalin was trying to get on the good side of the SSD."

"I bethought Stalin owned the SSD."

"No, it is the SSD who owns him."

You nod, and turn to the dwarf, admist his angry rant.

"Doth thee wonder wherefore thy company hath pointed ears?"

He turns silent, and turns to the officers, who are slowly backing away.

"Oi, ya' ain't elves, are ya?"

"N... No?"

"THAT'S WHAT A KNIFE-EARS WOULD SAY!"

The dwarf takes out a concealed handaxe, and starts chasing the officers around. This is somewhat adorable, since the dwarf has little, stubby legs.

Actions

>You kind of like this dwarf. You will just ask for his surrender and go.
>Try to see if you can't get him to be your vassal. (Diplomacy)
>Try to annex him. (Diplomacy, HARD)
>Eat him, and declare Russia under your personal domain.
>Write-In

I am having too much fun writing Shakespearean. Just wondering if you guys like the work I do in making Renexizious sound like him.

>>284162
>>Try to see if you can't get him to be your vassal. (Diplomacy)

>>284162
>Try to annex him. (Diplomacy, HARD)

>>284167
This

>>284162
>Try to see if you can't get him to be your vassal. (Diplomacy)

It is pretty amusing to see Shakespearaen tone in this quest. I just came here from the Nazi experiment quest and everything here looks flipping amazing, I'm looking through the archives during spare time.

>>284167
Annex and do we get a bonus from helping expose the elf scum

>>284196
yes

Roll me a 1d20+9 (+1 for enacting the Great Purge against the vile elves)

Rolled 11 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>284208

>>284162
>help kill knife ears
>convert the dwarf and then vasselise

Rolled 1 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>284208

reroll?

Rolled 3 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

Rolled 7 + 9 (1d20 + 9)

>>284224
Wtf

>>284224
why roll?

>>284224
Whelp... Use barbaric?

>Yes
>No

>>284235
yes

>>284233
I don't know why the dice gods cursed me >yes

File: 1466289555301.png (60 KB, 145x183)

60 KB PNG

>>284235

Use our eye for the bonus also

Roll me a 1d20.

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>284258

Rolled 9 (1d20)

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>284258
Let the dice gods guide me

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>284266
9
Very Bad Failure!

"Maybe thee should surrender, and taketh the benefits that cometh with being a citizen of mine empire?"

dwarf looks at you, while attempting to chase around his officers.

"Oi! I ain't following a shitty dragon! I'd rather the Orks in Siberia slowly grind my bones into dust for me to snort back up, rather than serve you, you little dragon fuckboy!"

God, this guy is a fucking dick. Also... Orks? Orks in Siberia?

Actions

>Just eat this fuck and declare soveringity. (Agility, HARD)
>Try to insult him back. (Charisma, HARD)
>Fuck this guy. Just do what you did to Stalin. (Body)
>Write-In

>>284298
>Fuck this guy. Just do what you did to Stalin. (Body)

>>284298
>>Try to insult him back. (Charisma, HARD)

>>284298
>Try to insult him back. (Charisma, HARD)

This guy is just too good to throw away

>>284307
Yes

Roll me a 1d20+5 for Insults.

I will give a +2 bonus for any good insults you guys come up with. A +3 bonus if it's in Shakespearean.

>>284317
I would challenge thee to a battle of wit but thou would have no weapons

Rolled 1 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>284317
>"Thou art a lout that smiths liketh an elf and you hold thine drink worse than one!"

Rolled 11 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

Doth mother wast so large she giveth youth Autism

Rolled 7 (1d20)

File: image.jpg (31 KB, 350x233)

31 KB JPG

>>284335

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Rolled 19 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>284317
Sayeth thy being of short nature, thy mongrels of mine empire are larger.
>>284335

Rolled 19 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>284317
Thou art a mammering whey-faced milksop that fornicates with thine incestous kobold-spawn!

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Rolled 4, 16, 16 + 5 = 41 (3d20 + 5)

>>284335
Whelp, I guess Renexizious cannot into insults.

All of these are great. So... I will hold this in a contest of three. So it seems like...
First Insult
1
Second Insult
19
Third Insult
19

Rolling for his comebacks.

You brazenly prepare yourself for a duel.
A battle of the wits.

"Thou ar... Art a out that smiths... Smiths liketh a... Dwar- I mean, elf, and thy holdeth drink bett-I mean worse, then one!"

He pats you on the snout.

"Oi, that means a lot, coming from a dragon who's breath smells... Pretty decent."

Both of you akwardly look around for a few seconds. One of the officers coughs, and you hear the word... "Gay..." and the Dwarf throws his handaxe into the Officer's hat.

Then, you decide to follow up.

"Sayeth thy being of short nature, thy mongrels of mine empire are larger."

He follows up

"At least my mongrels aren't fucking yer' wife! I hear back in Sweden, you plough female wolves!"
You follow up again, slightly agitated.

"Thou art a mammering whey-faced milksop that fornicates with thine incestous kobold-spawn!"

He kind of freezes up, and laughs.

"Oi, for a dragon, you ain't so bad. Though you could use a hand in the fine works of insultcrafting. I'll be honored to join ya', my Emperor."

Actions
>Sweet. What the hell is this guy's name?
>Alright... What was that comment about Orcs... Or Orks?
>Well. You guess it's time to head back to Stockholm.
>Write-In
>Write-In

>>284386
>convert, name, orks

>>284386
>>Sweet. What the hell is this guy's name?
>>Alright... What was that comment about Orcs... Or Orks?

Wait did we annex, and choose all

>>284386
>Alright... What was that comment about Orcs... Or Orks?
Depending on the type of orc we can weaponise them or make them mercenary.

>>284391
No, just Vassalized.

>>284386
>Sweet. What the hell is this guy's name?

something irontongue is his name

>>284392
Or just Enslave, convert, and use for batterys

>>284386
>>Alright... What was that comment about Orcs... Or Orks?

>>284394
Let's secure the crystals for making better magis first

"I am Hathur Torrum, high-king!"

"Valorous, now telleth me of thine Orcish problem in Siberia?"

"Aye, Uncle Stalin himself sent most of the army to Siberia to take care of those damned Orcs. Turns out it's hard as hell to take care of em. The army is coming back as well speak however... And hopefully, the mountains should hold back the hoard."

"Art thine Orcs intelligent, or simply motley-minded?"

"Oi, I wouldn't know that. Stalin kept that shit all hidden away from us!"

Actions
>Well... Probably best to deal with the Orc Horde using your personal regiments, and yourself. If they're amiable, prehaps you can talk.
>Time to bring the army further easterward.
>Go back to Stockholm
>Write-In

>>284420
>Time to bring the army further easterward.

>>284420
>Time to bring the army further easterward.

>>284420
>best to deal with it
Also send our wife a letter

>>284420
I'm calling it rasputin is the headmaster of the Russian Academy of russia

>>284420
>>Well... Probably best to deal with the Orc Horde using your personal regiments, and yourself. If they're amiable, prehaps you can talk.

>>284440
*of magic

Rolled 2 (1d2)

Rolling.
1=Army
2=Personally

You gather up your personal regiments, and put them on your back (The tank you just hold onto.), and fly towards Siberia.

After four hours of flight, you see in the distance, a small horde of what seems to be Orcs coming towards you. Apparently they don't notice you.

Actions
>Land, and attempt to talk to them.
>Strafe them with acid. (Body.)
>Strafe them with Ice. (Agility)
>Body-Slam as many of them as possible. (Body)

>>284464
>Land, and attempt to talk to them.

>>284464
>Land, and attempt to talk to them.

>>284464
>>Land, and attempt to talk to them.

>>284468
>>284473
+1

>>284464
callin it that their either mongols, huns, or cossacks

>>284464
Hey questy how long do dragons usually live

>>284482
You son of a bitch.

You land not too far from them, and startle their horses. They seem to be wearing kilts and rough sweaters, and seem to also have a small horde of goats not too far from them. Some of them have crude swords and claymores, while others use bows.
One comes up to you, speaking crude russian.

"You big. We Orcs. We free. We will not fight you, beast."

Hm. Peaceful orcs?

Actions
>Tell them this land is by law, your land.
>Eat this guy. Orcs only respect strength, (judging from the D&D books you've read. Intimidate)
>Tell him you are in fact, not a beast, and rather intelligent.
>Tell them to bring you to their chief.
>Write-In

>>284492
Your not sure, but they apparently grow up fast.

>>284494
>Tell them to bring you to their chief.

>>284494
For a second, I thought I accidentally put Chief as chef.

>>284494
this >>284501
and also
>Tell them to bring you to their chief.

DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA

>>284494
>Tell him you are in fact, not a beast, and rather intelligent.
>Tell them to bring you to their chief.

>>284507
crap meant to say
"and also
>Eat this guy. Orcs only respect strength, (judging from the D&D books you've read. Intimidate)

"Taketh me to your chief, Orc."

The orc looks confused.

"You speak... Orckish. Are you not beast?"

"I am not a beast sir, I am a noble dragon."

"Dra...Gon? You sound like chief."

"Speaking of thy chief... Bringeth me him."[r/ed]

The orc nods, and blows a horn.

An orc wearing more fur then usual comes forward.

"I am Khan Moghuil-aro-Karok, Venecilator azid da Vestihlmos Mountains, ruler over the Karok tribe. What do you want, beast?"

"I believe I said earlier, I am not a beast."

"You seem like beast, not a orc or one of those... Humans."

You sigh.

Actions
>Try to convert him. (Conversion)
>Eat him, and proclaim rulership over the tribe.
>Try to culture him, at the very least. (Learning.)
>A man with a long title is quite impressive... If only you can understand what the hell those meant, you'd be more impressed. (Charisma)
>Teach him the difference between a Beast, and a Dragon. (Learning)
>Write-In

>>284534
>>Try to culture him, at the very least. (Learning.)
Let's not try and rule a bunch of simpletons.

>>284534
>>Try to culture him, at the very least. (Learning.)

>>284534
>Teach him the difference between a Beast, and a Dragon. (Learning)
>Try to culture him, at the very least. (Learning.)
do these first

>>284534
>>Try to culture him, at the very least. (Learning.)
>Teach him the difference between a Beast, and a Dragon. (Learning)

Whelp, roll me a 2d20+4

Rolled 12 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>284557

Rolled 7, 11 + 4 = 22 (2d20 + 4)

>>284557

>>284534
>convert

Rolled 1, 4 + 4 = 9 (2d20 + 4)

>>284561

Rolled 2 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>284557
>>284561

Rolled 19, 8 + 4 = 31 (2d20 + 4)

Rolled 19, 5 + 4 = 28 (2d20 + 4)

>>284557
How do we reach these orcs?

Rolled 17, 2 + 4 = 23 (2d20 + 4)

>>284557

>>284566
1+4=5
Critical Failure
>>284563
11+4=15
Success

You fail, epically on teaching him what the difference between a beast and a dragon is. In fact, you might of confused them to the degree that a beast IS a dragon. However, they pick up much better on the culture bit... So you could mold them a little more...

Actions
>Mold them into ruthless warriors!
>Mold them into the Draconic Culture.
>Mold them into Swedish Culture.
>Mold them into Russian Culture.
>Mold them into Dwarven Culture
>Wirte-In

>>284582
>Mold them into the Draconic Culture.

>>284582
Mold them into Fingolian culture

>>284582
>good dragon worshipping warriors

>>284582
>>Mold them into the Draconic Culture.

>>284596
changed to>Mold them into Swedish Culture.

You begin molding them to speak Draconic, rather then their filthy peasant speak known as Russian. Of course, since they think your wise and intelligent (you are!), they rapidly adopt this. Their camp is abuzz with them speaking strange new words, and otherwise attempting to understand you better. They even give you a bowl of mutton, which thanks to your draconic form, is rather small. You still eat it.

The tribe seems to be rather friendly, and the Chieftain seems to be well-regarded among nearly everyone. He seems eager to learn further about you.
Actions
>Convert them to a religion... (Conversion)
>See if you can't guide them back to Russia or Sweden. You think they will fit in rather well.
>Take command of their settlement from their leader.
>Ask if there is any other tribes in the area.
>Write-In

>>284602
>Convert them to a religion... (Conversion)
Make them dragon worshippers.

>>284602
>>Ask if there is any other tribes in the area.

>>284602
>Convert them to a religion... (Conversion)

>>284602
>convert then inquire about other tribes

Looks like convert wins...

Which religion will you attempt to persuade them to follow?

>Catholicism
>Draconic-Catholicism
>Draconic
>Draconic-Paganic
>Write-In

>>284628
>Draconic-Catholicism

>>284628
>>Draconic-Catholicism
But say that the heathen cannot know about it

>>284628
>Draconic-Catholicism
whats this religion

>>284628
>Draconic-Catholicism

>>284634
>284634
Draconic Catholicism is basically just "your a saint, and possibly the son of God."

Roll me a 1d20+4 for Conversion.

Conversion has leveled up!

Rolled 10 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>284638

Rolled 8 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>284638

>>284628
>>Draconic
>>Draconic-Paganic
what are theys religions

>>284650
Draconic is just worshipping you as a God, and your children as saints, while those mutated into dragonbloods and shit, are basically God's chosen people.
Draconic Paganism is well... Basically your part of the Norse pantheon.

Going to wait for one more roll.

Rolled 20 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>284653
Holy shit!

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>>284653
Drakon Deus Vult

Dragon God Wills it.

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>>284661

>>284653
20+4=24
Critical Success

You teach them about you and your relation with God... How if you were this powerful, why aren't you God's son?

They nod faithfully, and actively seek redemption for their transgressions against you. They may be simple, but they are zealous in heart, soul, and body. They accept your word as divine mandate. Their chief approachs you.

"How can we repay you... O mighty dragon, for uplifting us to God's gaze? For we are his servants, in light and dark. Anyhow... The tribe wishes to come with you to the Holy Land. Perhaps there, we will find enlightenment and purpose in your Holy Domain."

Actions
>Good... You will take them back to Sweden to adjust themselves among the populace.
>No, you will leave them here in Siberia.
>Write-In

>>284688
>Good... You will take them back to Sweden to adjust themselves among the populace.
Instead of them just living in sweden have them stay at the palace so we can make them a part of our personal regiment.

>>284696
this

>>284688
>Good... You will take them back to Sweden to adjust themselves among the populace.

>>284688
I'm not sure how well a race of religiously fanatic brutes will act in Sweden. Maybe just bring a few with us.

>>284702
#NotAllDragonWorshipers

>>284688
>>No, you will leave them here in Siberia.

Just going to point out this is a tribe of about 1500 orcs. Not really too many.

>>284688
>come with me you shall serve me as friends

Looks like taking them in as your personal Regiment wins.

The chieftan almost looks like he has tears in his eyes, and starts something similar to that of a prayer and an oath to you. The rest of the tribe does likewise. You fly back to Stockholm, where your servants groan at having to take care of more people with voracious appetites.

Your children and wife run out, and hugs are given. After a rather length dialogue, it seems your family is extremely proud of you doing what could not be done by any other mortal... Conquering Russia.

Current Month: March

National Actions: Two (+1 from Absolute)

>Research Something,
>Construct Something
>Recruit more Soldiers
>Reform Government
>Spread Religion
>Spread Culture
>Encourage Industry
>Diplomacy
>Espionage
>Write-In

Personal Actions: One

>Talk to your Wife
>Talk to Hans
>Talk to Claw
>Talk to one of your children.
>Call for more Concubines.
>Read Something
>Go down to your newly built University.
>Talk to a Political Party Leader
>Talk to a Vassal
>Write-in