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Today's the day. You finally brought up the courage to finish it today, congratulations. Work's over and you're just waiting for the bus home, all you need to do is get on that bus. Maybe you'll have one or two drinks before ending it, that would probably ease the pain.

Your dead-end, soul-crushing job, the fact that you haven't been able to even get one date since you were twenty-two, your lack of friends, the family that hates you. All that will be gone soon, all you need to do is get home. You consider calling your boss and telling him that he's an asshole, maybe you could call up your sister and call her a name for basically ruining your social life whenever she had the chance. What do you feel like doing before the bus arrives?
>>
>>422995
Talk to the man beside us.
>>
>>422995
Holy fuck, is that a new thing?

Not just ANY new thing. A fun watch.

A fun goddamn watch. Don't just fucking sit there, add it to our collection. Bludgeon the fucker with the fedora if we don't have the money for it.
>>
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>>423021
You attempt to strike up a conversation with the man beside you, not really knowing why. Maybe you think that he can snap you out of the funk that you're in, maybe he can help you.

>Uh, hi there. The weather's been pretty nice lately, huh?

The man gives you a strange look, maybe because it's raining.

>If you like weather like this, then I guess that it's all right.

Well, that went poorly. Oh hey, your bus is here. You hop onto your bus, awaiting your fate at home with bated breath.

You toss off your jacket when you finally arrive at home and open up your closet, pulling out a .357 magnum. After loading up the gun, you lay it gently on your couch and then go to flip through your liquor cabinet and get some of the hardest stuff that you can find. Finally, it's time. You begin drinking straight from the bottle, the drink burns your throat but doesn't even get you tipsy. Should you drink a little more?
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>>423030
Considering our shitty house decorating skills, no. Just end it all. Seriously, a flower? A single flower?

Mother was right about us.
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>>423037
You attempt to just end it, but you can't bring yourself to do it. Mother really was right all along. Well, no sense in having the liquor go to waste, you begin chugging the bottle and hope that it just knocks you out. It does.

...you wake up with the sun in your face. The ground underneath you feels strangely hot and soft...how strange.
>>
>>423045
Just our fucking luck. The one time we decide to kill ourselves, we get kidnapped by Serbian organ thieves. Joke's on them, our liver is probably worse-off than the bloke they'll sell it to.

Get up and look around, they might come back.
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>>423052
You get up, looks like you're surrounded by sand in a huge desert filled with cacti. Maybe you were captures by Serbian organ thieves, you quickly check under your shirt to make sure...nope, you're fine. You start to look around, but find very little besides cacti. One of them is even wearing a sombrero and a vest!

Well this is bizarre, at least you have a good excuse for why you can't go to work today. What do you want to do now?
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>>423078
Mother of god. We're in chico country now! What is this? Human trafficking? They're supposed to cart their people to you illegally, not the other way around!

All those depressing nights of watching bootleg Italian westerns might just pay off, me. We just have to play our cards right.

Speaking of which, let's not play cards. That always ends in some sort of awful gunfight.

Let's try finding civilization. Is there anything that looks like a road around here?
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>>423078

How is our spanish? Let try to commnuicate the people.
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>>423110
>>423128
You search for a road of some sort, but cannot find anything, the heat is starting to get to you a bit as well. All of a sudden, you hear a voice behind you.

>Howdy, Amigo! You look lost and hot, would you like directions?

You spin around incredibly quickly to find yourself face-to-face with...a cactus. Wait, WHAT?! The cactus notices that you're in shock and cocks its head to the side.

>Something surprise you, Amigo? 'Round these parts, there really isn't much to be surprised about...

What do you do?
>>
Ask him what country is it and why is it Mexico?
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>>423158
I would suggest we collapse and have an existential crisis, but I'm pretty sure we just had one already.

We're goddamn Alice in drug cartel wonderland. Maybe they're stuffing our body full of coke while they do the surgery.

Inquire as to who this cactus-man is. Is he the ruler of this realm? Ask him if it's even real.


...Also, those directions.
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>>423167
You ask the strange cactus man what country you are in and why it's Mexico. He looks at you for a second, perplexed.

>Sorry, Amigo. I have no idea what you're talking about, what's Mexico? We call this place the Great Desert. It's pretty great! Haha, get it? Great?

>>423171
You would totally collapse right now, but you already did that today and it landed you in some strange desert. You ask the cactus man if he's the ruler of the realm that you're in and if he's even real.

>You're a strange one, Amigo. I'm just a wanderer here, my tribe kicked me out a couple of days ago. That "real" question is pretty strange, I'm just as real as your fancy shirt and pants, Amigo.

This is definitely a bizarre situation. You ask the cactus man if there's a town nearby, he chuckles.

>Not that I know of, Amigo. The nearest thing that you'll find that even resembles civilization around here is my tribe.

Well, this sucks. What do you do?
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>>423220

Oh god, his tribe exiled him. You know who usually gets exiled? Murderers. Rapists. Necrophiliacs. All three together!

Are we sure we want to travel with this malevolent cactus rapist? Ask him how to leave the desert, or how to get to his tribe, at least!
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>>423220

Ask him where he is heading too, we could travel together.
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>>423251
>>423227
You decide not to get too involved with this cactus, lest he be some sort of criminal. You ask him why he was exiled from his tribe.

>I just didn't feel like working at all and our elder decided that it would be in the tribe's best interest to kick me out, I just kind of decided to go with it.

You shrug ask him how to get to his tribe, at least he won't rape you. You also ask him if there's anywhere that he plans on going.

>I can show you the way to my tribe, Amigo. Maybe I can ask them to take me back while we're there, I didn't have any particular plans for wandering anyway.

This cactus is awfully nice.
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>>423266

Tell the cactus that he is nice.
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>>423266
Tell the cactus he is nice
>>
Is this cactus packing heat? If so, maybe could help out our no-balls cuck of an MC with the REAL goal of this quest!
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>>423266
Do we still have our gun
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>>423401
>>423403
You inform the cactus of the fact the he is nice.

>Thanks, Amigo! I appreciate it! Now let's see if we can find my tribe.

You begin following the cactus.

>>423493
Nope, you don't have anything on you other than the clothing that you wore when you passed out and your wallet...which is devoid of cash.

>>423470
Realizing what awaits you back at home, you as ask the cactus whether or not he's packing heat.

>Heat? Haha, you can find that all over the desert, Amigo!

You explain what you mean by that.

>A weapon, huh? Nope, sorry! I don't really fight much, I generally just hug or punch my opponents and hope that my spikes hurt them enough to make them back off. Why would you need something like that anyway? This desert is generally peaceful if you don't count the giant desert worms.

That...sounds concerning.
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>>423530
Ask about avoiding the worms
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>>423530
Ask him if there are even any possible "opponents" asides from other cacti
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>>423530
Ask about water sources
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>>423545
Yeah...
Giant worms sound not good.
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>>423590
You ask about the desert's water sources.

>Oh, don't worry about water at all, Amigo! This big jug on my back has tons of water in it! Plus, I know about basically every watering hole and oasis in this part of the Great Desert. Don't worry about me, you seem like your body needs the water a lot more.

>>423611
>>423545
You ask him if there's any way to avoid the worms.

>Avoiding the worms? Well, there's not really any way to actually avoid them, but they rarely come up, so we'll probably be fine. Don't worry, Amigo!

>>423570
You ask if you'll have any sorts of opponents besides other cacti.

>Haha, you crack me up, Amigo! My tribe isn't very violent, they wouldn't attack us physically; they'd probably just say very rude things to me! Besides the worms, we don't have much to fear. There are snakes, giant snakes and coyotes, but those probably won't bother us.
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>>423652
I'm going to take a break for about 6-7 hours to sleep, I'll be back when I wake up though.
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>>423652
Ask him about Great Desert what exactly it is, is there anything else besides it and if there are any other tribes.
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>>423652
I ask the cactus man for a pointer to his village, sighing and rubbing the back of my neck. I guess I can make something of this, assuming there's even a tribe at all, let alone the talking cactus infront of me.
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>>423652
>there, I didn't have any particular plans for wandering anyway.
>This cactus is awfully nice.

Can we skip to the part we wake up covered in puke having in the apartment having a seizure?

kidding, I like this, keep it up
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>>423657
Thanks for running. This is rather interesting
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>>423652
Thanks for running, just caught this and I'm intrigued.
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>>423662
You ask the strange cactus about the Great Desert, what exactly is it? How did it come to be? Are there other tribes around?

>That's not a question that I can really answer, Amigo. The Great Desert is the Great Desert, I haven't really seen any other lands, so I assume that this is just all that we have. The village elder might know more about that than I do, since he's longer-lived. As for other tribes, there aren't any that I know of. We're the most sentient things around here, Amigo.

>>423682
You ask the cactus man about his village, since you're going to be meeting with his tribe soon.

>They're a friendly bunch, my tribe...well, ignoring the fact that they kicked me out for not doing my part. We used to be hunter-gatherers during the time when our elder wasn't old and withered, but now we just stick to the same old oasis because it was blessed by some beautiful water goddess or something. If you ask me, Amigo, I think that it's a load of sand.

That's...strange. The heat starts getting to you, so you toss off your socks and roll up your sleeves to avoid getting any hotter.

>Where are you from anyway, Amigo? I've been meaning to mention this, but you don't look like you're from around here.
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>>425506

First off, how the hell do we not have a hang over? We drank pretty damn heavily last night.


Also, ask about the water goddess. And, don't tell him where we are from. Just fake amnesia. We don't want to risk making him think we are crazy by telling him about our home
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>>425539
You take a moment to wonder why you don't have any sort of hangover, that's definitely one of the weirdest things about this situation. Maybe you're in a dream? You can feel everything around you incredibly well, so if this is a dream, then it's a damn good one. You mention that you don't really remember anything before waking up in the desert and then ask the cactus about the water goddess.

>Oh man, you must really be from out of town, Amigo. The water goddess Tlapia is what everyone in our tribe believes in, she apparently causes rain and keeps the oases of the Great Desert clean and full. Speaking of which, we're getting pretty close to my tribe; look over there in the distance, Amigo.

You see a few trees and some shapes moving on the horizon. Looks like you'll figure some things out relatively soon. A resounding BOOM breaks your focus as a large, worm-like creature blasts out of the ground and gives a mighty roar. Your cactus guide hops back and looks over at you.

>Well, that was unexpected.
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>>425655
We don't want to run away by ourselves and get lost in the desert. Follow Cactus man's lead on what to do.
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>>425655
Say hi to the sandworm. Maybe it has some booze?
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>>425965
You attempt to communicate with the creature by saying "hi." It writhes around and roars at you.

>>425861
You give the cactus man an expectant look, which he returns with advice.

>Hold completely still, Amigo! The worm's blind, so as long as you don't make any sudden movements, it won't rush you! I'll try to lure it away, make a break for the village once I do!

However, the second that the cactus man began to run, a large spike pierced the worm's side. The worm's body crashed to the ground as it writhed, the cactus man walked up to it and poked its face.

>Huh, looks like my tribe's here.

Two more cactus people came running up, one of them holding a javelin-like spike. One of them, obviously a female, ran up and hugged your plant friend.

>Where were you, Cactonio? The village was worried sick!

Your eudicotean friend gave the girl a confused look.

>Huh, Saguana? Didn't the elder say that I was banished from the village?

The girl cactus frowned(?) at Cactonio.

>No, you dummy! He was just threatening you because you're so lazy!

The other cactus person, who was holding the javelin walks up to you.

>Hello there, stranger. Who might you be?
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>>426060
Just noticed that I've been switching between past and present tense, sorry about that. Things will improve with my next post.
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>>426060
Introduce ourselves and ask who they are.
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>>426208
You introduce yourself as a traveler to keep up the amnesia facade and then ask the anthropomorphic plants who they are. The larger plant speaks up.

>We're the people of the Great Desert, we have no specific name for ourselves. My name is Modave, that is Saguana.

He motions toward the female.

>And you've already met our tribe elder's grandson, Cactonio. You don't seem to be from around these parts, maybe we can assist you with returning form whence you came. Our elder specializes in all sorts of magics, I'm sure that he could probably send you home that way.
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>>426288
Ask them to take us to the elder.
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>>426288
Ask if they got booze at the village
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>>426288
give the big one a hug.
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Ask it to stab us. We still want to die right?
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Sorry for disappearing for a bit. The quest wasn't getting replies, so I decided to take a break to do other things.

>>427937
You ask the large cactus if he'll stab you, he laughs.

>What a strange request. I'm sorry, stranger, but I'd rather not.

>>426870
You ask about the alcohol supply of the village.

>There hasn't been alcohol in our village for decades, our tribe drank it all.

>>427740
You start walking towards Modave in order to give him a hug, he notices this and stops you with the hilt of his large spike.

>You don't seem like you'd handle spikes very well, stranger. It's probably best that you refrain from touching us.

>>426860
You shrug and ask the large cactus to lead you to their elder.

>Gladly. Come along, Cactonio and Saguana.

The other two cacti follow the two of you. The four of you walk through the desert for a relatively short amount of time before arriving at a large oasis full of cactus-like people walking around, talking, and carrying jugs of water, and small, square houses. Modave leads the three of you into a slightly larger house in the middle of the village, which is probably where the elder lives. Despite its size, the house only contains one room, which is lit by a campfire. An old-looking cactus person is sitting in front of the fire with a blank look on his face. He notices your group and stands up to speak, his voice is raspy and old-sounding.

>Modave, I see that you have brought Cactonio back...thank you for that. Would you mind leaving the four of us alone?

Modave does a little bow and leaves the building.

>Cactonio, my grandson, I apologize for being so harsh earlier. You should learn to have some level of responsibility though, seeing as you'll probably be the chief of the tribe when I'm gone.

Cactonio crosses his arms and frowns.

>About that...I don't really want to be the tribe's leader, Grandad. Sorry if you're disappointed, but that's just how I feel.

The old man cocks his head to the side.

>Well, why did you not say so in the first place? We can always appoint someone else the leader.

Cactonio gives him a shocked look, Saguana chuckles and hugs him.

>R-really? Well, all right then! Thanks, Grandad!

He then remembers you.

>Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I met this guy while I was wandering, he seems a little out-of-place and I thought that you could help him get back to wherever he's from as thanks for basically bringing me back here.

The old man looks at you.

>A human, huh? I have not seen one of your kind in a very long time, I did not think that humans still had the means to travel through dimensions. Very well, I can definitely get you out of this dimension, but I cannot guarantee that you will end up in your own dimension. Is that all right with you?
>>
yes, send me as far as you can.
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>>428984
You tell him to send you as far as he can, the old man chuckles.

>Very well, I will send you out...prepare yourself. By the way, if you don't end up where you came from, I'd recommend attempting to find someone within the dimension in which you land who can manipulate space. There's usually at least one person.

You nod, Cactonio comes up behind you and gives you a big hug. You don't feel his spikes at all, did he retract them?

>I'll miss you, Amigo. I know that we haven't known each other for very long, but you're really the only reason that I'm back here. Sorry about lying to you about my being exiled, I just wanted to avoid responsibility. Have a good trip, Amigo.

He lets go and walks back over to Saguana. The old man begins chanting something and suddenly you're enveloped by a white light, you hear one last "I'll miss you, Amigo." before suddenly falling and landing on a wood floor...where the Hell are you now?

You look around and you see bridges connected by hutlike structures over a serene-looking lake stretching as far as the eye can see. Many robed figures are wandering around the area, some look relatively humanoid, others are strangely-shaped. One of them approaches you and holds out its hand, he looks completely human.

>Hey there, I wasn't expecting to see any more humans land here. I thought that I'd be the only one of us to really be here.
>>
>>429098
Say hi. Ask for booze.
D'aww farewell amigo. We should have gotten a memento or something. Like a murderous cactus spine
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ask if anyone has seen a large cliff or other means of sudden and 'accidental' death
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>>429098
Introduce our self, and ask him his name and what dimension we are in.
>>
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>>429458
You introduce yourself as a traveler and ask the man his name as well as the name of the dimension that you're in.

>My name is Dave, I'm a former scientist who stumbled upon the secret to interdimensional travel. This specific dimension is known by its inhabitants as Nirvana, due to the fact that the dimension's appointed "ruler" has obtained a sort of enlightenment. Those who travel to this dimension usually wish to learn from the master and attain enlightenment on their own...you seem like you got here by accident though.

You confirm his suspicions verbally.
>>429337
You ask him if there's any easy way to die in this world.

>Not that I know of. The entire dimension is under the control of the Master and he's made it so that everything here is relatively safe. The water is safe to breathe in, the air provides nutrients that deliver required nutrients so that we do not have to breathe, the Master himself will even intervene if someone tries killing another. I believe that the only way to actually die here is to anger the Master.

>>429196
You ask him for booze.

>We don't have any of that here.
>>
>>429636

>We don't have any of that here.

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!

By the way ask him about interdimensional travel because it could be useful for us as traveler.
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>>429636
Jump off the bridge
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>>429636
Suicidal man in perfectly safe universe? kekekekekekekekekekek

Let's go find the master and metaphysically punch him
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>>430652
ya
>>
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>>430409
You attempt to jump off of the bridge. However, instead of landing in the water, you appear right in front of Dave.

>Yeah, that's kind of what'll happen.

>>429739
You sigh and ask Dave about interdimensional travel.

>Well, there are only two ways to do it: you either have the magic or you make a machine. I myself did the latter and made a neat dimension-travelling device in the shape of a watch. It exploded after I used it, but I got where I needed to go, so I'm not too bummed about it. From what I've learned from the Master, every dimension has its own kind of "portal keeper" who can easily summon up portals to other dimensions. The Master is this dimension's "portal keeper," but he's really not willing to open it for anybody who asks. I've heard rumors that getting him angry can actually open the portal, but I'm not entirely sure whether or not it's a good idea to anger someone with complete control over a dimension.

>>430652
You ask Dave about meeting the Master.

>No problem, I know exactly where he is.

After walking through some huts full of different beings meditating and passing over several bridges, you finally get to a lone hut at the very end of the bridges. There's a man inside who looks incredibly human, though you definitely feel like there's something strange about him. He looks over at you and smiles.

>Welcome, friend. Are you here to seek enlightenment or are you just wande-

You run up to him and throw a punch at his face before he finishes his sentence, the Master dodges with relative ease.

>I see that you're a bit violent, maybe we could fix that if you're willing to talk.
>>
go to the master and tell countless your mama's so fat jokes (without any form of introduction or greeting)

>yo mama's so fat, they needed to create a whole dimension just for her
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>>430728
>>430754
forgot the autoupdate, but you can still do that, i guess
>>
>>430728
Destroy his personal stuff
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>>430754
You attempt to insult his mother.

>I have no mother, I was born from this dimension.

>>430780
You ask him if he has any personal things that you can destroy.

>This very dimension is mine, it is impossible to destroy. You cannot hurt me, would you like to talk now? I would prefer that over your foolish attempts at hurting me.

The Master has an incredibly smug look on his face, you hear Dave mutter something about how some of your jokes were pretty funny. There's probably SOMETHING that you can say that can make him angry, you're just not entirely sure what it is yet.
>>
>>430811
Aha! The master is one of those types, eh? Let us be that irrationally depressed friend who ignores any logical argument, and replies with pithy, depressing absolutes.
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>>430811
>born from the dimension
so insult his dimension then. also, you come to realize that you haven't taken a leak in forever. piss right now while maintaining eyecontact.
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>>430811
Tell him his dimension is 0% white and only has shitskins
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>>430934
>>430862
You attempt to insult his dimension, the Master laughs.

>Oh please, insulting my dimension does nothing to me.

You glare at him, walk to the side of the hut area, whip it out, and begin to urinate into the water.

>Your attempts to anger me only make me laugh more at you, friend.

>>430831
You zip up your pants and decide to just act very depressed.

>Hmm, your manner seems to have changed, are you feeling down because I'm winning the psychological battle? Do not worry, I'm more than willing to assist you in recovering from the immense psychological blow.

You answer with a half-hearted "nothing can help me, everything sucks." This seems to confuse the Master.

>Huh, you might actually just be very bipolar...I believe that I can help with that.

Man, nothing seems to phase this guy. Well, there are still a couple of options left...
>>
>>430951
Slam your head in the first thing you can find
>>
>>430951

Start question about Master's own enlightment. If he real achive enlightment then why bother to create a dimension where he act like a god in his own playground.
>>
>>430988
Backing
>>
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>>430964
You attempt to slam your head into the ground, but you feel no impact. It's like the force from your head going up and down just disappeared.

>You're not frighteningly bright, are you? No matter, you can still attain enlightenment.

>>430988
You question the Master's enlightenment, asking why he would create his own universe in which to act like a god.

>You misunderstand, I only wished to share my enlightenment with others and the only way to do that would be to create a dimension that lacked pain, corruption, and other problems that many other dimensions seem to have. Fear is the largest hurdle to overcome in the pursuit of enlightenment, so I removed fear by removing death from this dimension. Nobody can die as long as I'm here.
>>
>>431155
Explain to him you still have a fear not seeing your family again in your own dimesion (this is a lie but maybe it works)
>>
>>431184
(I actually do miss catonio)
>>
>>431155
Ask him how can you obtain enlightenment if you cannot overcome fear, greed or pain, since there aren't any hurdles to cross to begin with
>>
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>>431841
You ask the Master how one can attain enlightenment without overcoming the usual vices, he sneers at you.

>Hurdles are not a necessity for one to attain enlightenment, all you must do is find inner peace. Hurdles are but an obstruction on the way to inner peace and enlightenment, thus making them useless and disposable. Does your dimension's "enlightenment" involve doing that? It would shed some light on your unhappiness.

>>431184
You attempt to switch tactics by saying that you're just stressed and you miss your family back in your home dimension, you explain that you were tossed into another dimension against your will.

>I don't entirely believe you, you don't seem like someone who'd really have many people who care about him.
>>
>>432007
Cry alot and mumble something about your 4 year old child that died (obviously a lie again)
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>>432007
Call him something mean.
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>>432007
Shit in our hands and spread it around, yell very loudly about how pathetic this dimension is and interrupt him whenever he attempts to talk.
>>
>>432007
i think its stupid, how can you be sure your disciples are enlightened if they know no temptation? or no fear? or pain? what will happen if they encounter such things?

would he be willing to bet his discipled wont change if presented with temptation?
>>
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>>432070
Unfortunately, you cannot shit in your hands because you don't have the urge to shit.

>>432022
You attempt to bring tears out, but cannot. You do, however, attempt to lie about a 4-year-old child that died.

>This is getting pathetic...

>>432084
You let him know that you believe that his methods are dumb in a very descriptive way.

>Fools oftentimes consider that which they do not understand "dumb."

>>432051
You call him dumb and stupid.

>Wh-what was that? I'm sorry, I thought I just heard you call me something.

You repeat what you said.

>How dare you...no no, I need to retain my composure.

The Master takes a couple of deep breaths, you notice strange markings beginning to appear on his body. It seems that though he's negatively affected by name calling, how weird.
>>
>>432137
tell him he is nothing more than a Baka Gaijin whose waifu a shit
>>
>>432137
Insult him the dummiest and that he is so dumb that cant even port u to another dimension
>>
>>432137
Tell him that you are a pedophile
Tell him that you raped lil kids

Sweet sweet Megan How she screamed as I bent her over...
Talk about your child rapes
>>
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>>432398
You call him a baka gaijin whose waifu a shit, he seems to react negatively to that.

>I'm warning you, stop calling me names! It's rude!

>>432429
You call him the dummiest and say that he's so dumb that he can't even teleport you to another dimension. All of a sudden, the Master lets out a scream of rage and glows brightly, forcing you to shield and close your eyes. You open them again only to see that the entire area is surrounded by lava instead of water now, the sky has become grey and Dave seems to be panicking. The Master has transformed into a giant, devil-like being in the middle of the lava, it seems as though he got pretty angry.

Before you have the chance to say anything else, Dave grabs your hand and begins leading you through the mess of bridges. You pass by others who live in the dimension, many of them are panicking. Dave ignores them and begins talking.

>Looks like you got him angry, I don't know whether or not he'll calm down, but I can get you out of here before he does anything rash. Just keep following me, I'll get you to a portal out of here. I've heard that the only portal out of here opens up at the end of a bridge near here.

He lets go of your hand as he continues running, it seems as though you'll want to follow him if you want to get out of here. As great as dying sounds right now, you've heard that lava isn't really the best way to go out.
>>
>>433911

Holy shit... I don't expect him to transform into devil... It seems like he start killing people too...

Let continue heading to the lava with Dave, it seems to be better alternative.
>>
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>>433914
You decide to follow Dave to the portal, running behind him as he traverses the bridges. As you continue on, you see many of the Master's followers running around in fear, attempting to figure out what's going on. Some push others into the lava while running to try to find safety, causing more screaming and panic. Looking behind you, you see the Master smashing huts and bridges, all the while picking up and devouring his followers as he makes his way through the lava...towards you and Dave. Finally, you get to a large, glowing portal at the very end of a bridge that seems to lead nowhere. Dave motions for you to enter.

>Go ahead, I'll see if I can calm the Master down. I'll probably pop through the portal if things get really bad, although I'm not sure exactly where both of us will end up.

You shrug and hop through, the last thing that you see is Dave running towards the hulking figure of the Master...and then you black out.

When you wake up, you're in an alleyway in a dark city. Several creatures that you mistake for rats scurry away as you stir, you notice that they have two too many eyes to be rats and that their tails resemble those of scorpions. Judging by the small holes in your clothes, it seems as though they were nibbling at your clothing while you were out. Where the Hell are you now?
>>
>>433923

Explore the area and try to find something to drink.
>>
>>433923
Take a closer look at one of the creatures
>>
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>>433935
You take a closer look at one of the creatures, it makes a "scree"-ing noise and scampers off.

>>433927
You get up, dust yourself off, adjust your hair, and then head out of the alleyway. This dimension seems pretty heavily inhabited, there are creatures walking around everywhere despite it being nighttime. Many of the creatures seem like demons from stories and media that you've seen, like vampires and succubi. You wander about, but are unable to read any of the signs on buildings. All of a sudden, you hear a woman's voice.

>Are you lost, buddy? You look like shit.

You turn around to see a succubus dressed in a trenchcoat and smoking a cigar.
>>
>>433940

Fantasy about what succubus will look like without trenchcoat... WAIT A MINUTE!!! CALM DOWN OUR LUST!!!

Tell her we have no clue where we are and we properly need to a job. We need money for new clothes and alcohole drinks.
>>
>>433949
Say that it's been a long day
>>
>>433940
Drool alot
>>
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>>433974
You tell the succubus that it's been a long day, she chuckles.

>I can definitely tell.

>>433949
You inform the succubus that you actually have no idea as to where you are and that you require some sort of job because you don't have any of the dimension's money and you need clothes and a drink.

>Dimension, huh? I guess it could be stranger. Well, unlike wherever you're from, we just get clothing. It's free because it's easy as shit to make, those nerds with "useful" powers can fashion that shit outta thin air. As for a drink, I could buy you one if you don't plan on sticking around for too long, you look like you need it right about now.

She's awfully friendly, can she be trusted though? This is a bit of a strange situation, after all.
>>
>>433996
Awkwardly hug her
>>
>>433996
Accept the drink
Ask her if she can direct her to the clothes place
>>
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>>434004
You attempt to akwardly hug her, she takes a step back.

>You can thank me after you've gotten some new clothes...and maybe a shower too.

>>434013
You say that you'd love a drink and ask her if she can direct you to the clothing place.

>Yeah, sure. Follow me, hun.

She walks at a relatively brisk pace, but you keep up with ease. You finally make it to a smaller building, the succubus directs you in and you walk through the door. Inside are two demons, a male and a female by the look of them. The male notices you and walks over, you feel an aura of cold around him. It's pleasantly cool.

>Hello, sir. What kind of clothing would you like today? Something more casual? Maybe something more formal?
>>
>>434037
Ask for comfy yet formal clothes
>>
>>434037

More casual, a black jeans, white polo shirt, black vest, pair of hiking boots and pair of black leather armbraces.
>>
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>>434042
>>434045
You ask for comfy, yet formal, clothes. You figure that you should specify a bit and mention a combination of clothes that you think would work well.

>Very well, sir. Please step into one of our changing rooms and I will give you your new clothes.

You walk into a relatively large-ish room with the man, who begins creating clothing out of ice. Once he's finished with creating the clothing, he snaps and the ice breaks, revealing the clothes.

>Here you are, sir. I'll let you get changed.

He wanders out and you change in peace. When you're all finished, you walk out of the room and over to the succubus, who's patiently waiting and glaring at the girl over at the desk. She notices you and whistles.

>Very nice, I like it. Now how about that drink? I know a good bar right around here that serves some interesting stuff.
>>
>>434099
Ask if your clothes will melt since they are made out of ice
>>
>>434099
Ask for Chainmail
Like a crusader chainmail hat thing.
The one knights wear
and So some armour

Say You LARP
>>
>>434099
Get drunk but not too drunk. Ask succubus about this dimension, and how we can get to the next one.
>>
>>434099
"Count me in, I love a good drink"
"Whats your name by the way?"
>>
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>>434102
You ask whether or not your clothing will melt, since the tailor made them out of ice. The succubus giggles a bit.

>Don't worry about that, hun. That guy turned the ice that he made the clothing out of into actual clothes, it's mid-level transmutation that most magic adepts learn.

>>434349
You agree to the idea of getting a drink and ask the succubus her name.

>Ah, sorry about that, I forgot to mention that. My name's Lilian, nice to meet you.

She reaches her hand out and you introduce yourself as a traveler. She then leads you to the bar, making small talk along the way. You learn that she works for a large company as a secretary and spends her spare time as a prostitute, which is pretty normal for a succubus.

>>434216
The bar is pretty trendy, it has flashy lights and loud music. Fortunately, it isn't loud enough to drown out your and Lilian's voices. You get a little tipsy, but you're more or less fine in the head. You decide to ask Lilian about the dimension that you're in and how you can get to the next one, you explain that you're attempting to return to your home dimension.

>Huh, I guess you'd need to find someone with a lot of magic power then, spacial magic is incredibly hard to pull off if you're not a powerful magician. There are three in town that I think could pull it off, although they're not easy to get to.

You ask for information on the three.

>Well, one of them's a powerful lich known as Ed. He generally sticks to this one private room in the city's library and you'd need to convince him to help you out, he's an all right guy, he just doesn't like dealing with others. The next one is a nightmare known as Anabelle, she's not a fun one to deal with and you'll only ever find her hiding in the dark. I wouldn't recommend trying her. The last one's an archdemon who runs a big club downtown, his name's Louie. Now, Louie's an ass, but he's got more magic than half of the city's population combined (not counting Anabelle and Ed). The guy's pretty difficult to deal with, not to mention dangerous.

Three choices, huh? It looks like you'll have to pick one to try first.
>>
>>434530
Ask her if you can sleep at her apartment for the night and bring you to ed next day
>>
>>434530
>a girl slaves the day away in the office so she can whore herself out at night.
let's stay in that dimension
also, what that guy said>>434570 plus get in her pants
>>
>>434570
This
Maybe some light sex :^)
Maybe our depression leaves
>>
>>434530
Why do we want to go back. Our dimension sucks ass. Maybe we could try learning some magic or some sit.
Also, let's try the lich.
Space magic sounds useful
>>
>>434530
Thank Lilian as well and see if she could use any help
>>
>>434530
Dave walks in with burns all over his body. Things didn't go so well and now he's just wants to follow you to get home too.
>>
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>>434793
>>434869
>>434570
You ask Lilian if you can crash at her place for the night and then bring you to Ed the next day, she swallows the rest of her drink before talking.

>Yeah, no problem at all. Hey, would you mind having sex with me tonight? Succubi need to take in a bit of sexual energy every day to stay healthy and you kind of distracted me from my usual night routine.

Well that was easy, you agree. That night, you finally have sex for the first time. However, it left you feeling VERY drained, it seems as though she overdid it and nearly killed you. Fortunately, she helped you out and you survived the night.

>>435047
You wake up the next morning and look at Lilian next to you, it seems as though she's still asleep. You take the time that you have to think about the situation that you're in and whether or not you really want to go back. On one hand, there's the fact that your dimension kind of sucks ass and that you don't have the best life ever there. On the other hand, there's the fact that there are many dangers within this dimension, considering you almost died having sex; in addition to that, there's also the fact that your life might end up just as miserable here, since they seem to have a society very similar to the one back home.

Your thoughts are interrupted by Lilian waking up, yawning, and rubbing her eyes before looking over at you.

>Hey, hun. That could've gone worse last night, huh? At least now I know how to deal with humans if I ever find another and I really need the sex. Ready to go find Ed?
>>
>>436667
No I need to shower first but u can hop in too
>>
>>436673
this
>>
>>436673

This man. It is time to act like a new man.
>>
>>436667
Want me to cook breakfast?
>>
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>>436694
>>436714
>>436673
You mention that you'll need to shower first and ask if she'd like to join you, Lilian lets out a yawn.

>Nah, I'm good. Succubi actually don't shower, the sex smell helps when we're trying to pick up mates.

You shrug and take your shower. When you finish up, you see that Lilian's almost done getting dressed.

>Hey, hun. How was your shower?

>>436718
You mention that it was all right, but it could've been better if she was there. You ask if she'd like you to cook breakfast.

>Uh, sure. Hey, keep in mind that I'm not really into romantic stuff, the sex was just to calm my usual succubus urges. It's more natural than anything. I understand that some guys feel like their first time is "special," but this really wasn't that. All right? Anyway, if you're still down to cook, I can give you a little bit of help.
>>
>>436727
Make sandwich and cum on it
>>
>>436727
Just some eggs and bacon, and ask about this worlds society functions to see if it would be better to stay here than your own dimension. Also magic.
>>
>>436748
This
Yum
>>
>>436667
almost snusnu death. it's kinda a pity, since we're suicidal and all.
>>
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>>436748
You decide to just make eggs and bacon and ask if Lilian has any, since you don't really know if those exist in this world.

>Yeah, no problem.

You two wander over to her kitchen and she directs you to the required materials. While you begin to prepare the food, you ask about how society functions in this world.

>Well, considering the fact that you seem to have zero magic potential, I doubt that your world has magic. In this world, magic is everything. Every being in this world has the potential to perform magic at some level or another, our social and economic classes are based around everything's ability to perform magic. The world's government gives money and government positions to the fuckers that have the potential to perform higher-level magic, they get to live better lives and generally have more opportunities in life. Beings with the ability to perform mid-level magic (like me), tend to live decent lives and get a reasonable amount of money from the government in addition to whatever they make in their day-to-day jobs. As for beings with little to no magic potential, they tend to live away from civilization in tribes where the ones with more magic than others rule, since they don't get jack shit from the government and they generally won't be accepted into society because they're seen as "less" than everybody else. Of course, I'm showing you respect because you seem like you're just some normal guy in your dimension or whatever, you're not some disgusting tribal.

Sounds like your life in this dimension would be worse-off than your life in your actual dimension.

You finally finish cooking and the two of you enjoy a meal, then you and Lilian head out towards the city's public library. Lilian saunters up to the main desk where some strange, froglike person is sorting through papers. She begins talking first.

>Hey there, Carl! How've you been? I'm here to see Ed, would you mind letting my friend and me see him?

She gives a seductive smile, Carl pushes up his glasses and lets out a snort.

>Huh, Lilian. From what I reeemember, you left me for that cuck on the street a month ago. Why don't you fuck off and take your new cuck boyfriend with you? I'll reeemove you by force if I have to.

Lilian puts her head in her hand and shakes it.

>Come on, Carl. My buddy here just needs Ed's help with something, I can even stay out here if you want.

Carl ponders this for a second, and then shrugs.

>I-if you give me a k-kiss, maybe I'll let your friend in.

Lilian rolls her eyes and then grabs the frog's face, deeply french-kissing him. After breaking the kiss, she spits on the floor. Carl sneers and pushes a button connected to a communication device, he talks into it.

>Hey Ed, there's some dirty guy here to see you. Looks like some wagecuck, maybe he wants your advice with "getting better" at magic or something to "move up" in life. Mind if I let him in?

>...sure, I have time.

Looks like you're in, Carl motions to a black door.
>>
>>438906
Ask both of them for any last minute advice, then walk in and see him
>>
>>438906
Act like a mobster, that should get you what you want out of this.
>>
>>438906
before you go to ed tell carl he is a pretty cool pepe
>>
>>439726
This
>>
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>>439253
You ask the two if they have any advice for talking to Ed. Lilian looks like she's about to say something, but Carl cuts her off.

>I know that this might be tough for you, but don't act like a complete normie around Ed. Also, since I can tell that you're not much in terms of magic, treeeat him with the utmost reeespect.

Lilian rolls her eyes and then pipes up.

>Just talk to the guy normally, he's normally really sweet. He can be a bit talkative if you interest him, so watch out for that. Oh, and don't be weirded out by him talking to you telepathically, he does that.

You thank the two.

>>439726
You tell Carl that he's a pretty cool Pepe.

>What the fuck even is that? Some sort of normie meme? Get cucked, fucking normie.

How rude.

>>439302
You saunter into the room like a mobster, opening and closing the door casually. The room is very black and all of the windows are covered up, the only sources of light in the room are a few candles with blue flames. At the end of the room, you see a skeleton-like being reading a book, that's probably Ed.

>You don't have to act any sort of way around me, don't worry. I kind of have a good idea of who you are based on how you acted before you came in.

Wait, what? This guy's a bit strange.

>In case you're wondering, I can "see" the entirety of this library from this room so I heard you and Lilian speaking on the way here; sorry about Carl, he means well, he's just like that towards new people. So what are you here for?
>>
>>440275
Ask him about getting home.

Also ask about the pros and cons of staying here to try to bang Lilian a few more times.
>>
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>>440300
You explain that you're from another dimension and that you've been debating staying in this one or just going home, you go on to explain that your life back at home wasn't stellar.

>Hmm, well that's an easy one: go home. The inhabitants of this dimension can and will literally tear you apart on a whim; no matter how much you want to die, you don't want to experience what the inhabitants of this place will do to you if Lilian isn't around. And trust me, she wouldn't be around too often if you did end up living here, she's just sacrificing time to help you right now. Also, if you're thinking about having more sex with Lilian, that's another thing that I would heavily advise against. She'll literally drain you dry, and contrary to popular belief, dying from sex is not fun or peaceful (not that I would know personally).

You ask him if he can get you home.

>I'm powerful, but I'm not experienced enough with spacial magic to get you home. You'll have to find another powerful magic user in the city, although the only other two are really dangerous.

You explain that you've heard of Anabelle and Louie.

>Try Louie. Do not, under any circumstances, approach Anabelle. There's a chance that Louie will tear you apart limb from limb, gut you, and keep you alive and conscious through the entire thing (and maybe even put you back together and do it again) if you screw up and say the wrong thing, but that's child's play compared to what Anabelle will probably do to someone for just approaching her.
>>
>>440413

Ask him about if we can check if we posses ability to use magic.
>>
>>440413
>op reeeally want's to get out of that dimension
ask him if he's cold or something
>>
>>440413
Tell him that you've got no BONES to pick with anyone and you just want to be on your way.

(Racism is just ethnic banter)
>>
>>440413
say thanks mr skeltal
and make doot doot sounds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDIWLRvc7gQ
>>
>>440413
on a side note
I really enjoy this quest
good artwork and story

thanks OP
>>
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>>441359
Thank you, Anon. I really appreciate it.

>>440881
You ask Ed if he's cold or something.

>Oh yeah, I kind of feel cold all of the time. I fought this one pretty powerful wizard once, he was kind of a sore loser. While he was dying from my skeleton army tearing his skin off, he kind of put a curse on me that makes me very cold.

>>440436
You ask him if you have the ability to posses magic.

>Nope, sorry. Humans have literally zero magic potential, I don't know why.

>>441223
You tell him that you have no bones to pick with anyone and that you just want to be on your way.

>Haha, very funny. Just don't make those jokes around Louie.

>>441345
You say thanks Mr. Skeltal and make doot doot sounds.

>I honestly don't understand what that means, but good luck finding your way back home. Uh...oh here, take this.

He reaches into a drawer and pulls out a small necklace with a little gem skull on it.

>It's a magic deterrent, just hold it up when something or someone tries using any sort of elemental magic on you. I don't know if it'll work in other dimensions, but I hope that you get some use out of it.

You thank him again and head out, Lilian seems to have knocked Carl unconscious.

>Huh, looks like you're still here. So, ready to see if Anabelle can help us?
>>
>>441671
He suggested that we should see louie.
>>
>>441671
Also, thank lily for all the help she's providing us when she has no obligation to do so.
>>
>>441671
Ask if they had sex while you were in there.
>>
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>>442045
You ask if they had sex while you were gone, Lilian gives you an annoyed look.

>Ew, no. Carl just tried licking my face, so I blasted him with some magic. He'll be out for a little while.

>>441706
You mention what Ed said about Louie and Anabelle.

>Man, that's a little graphic. I guess I can see where he's coming from though; he knows Anabelle personally, so it would make sense that he's aware of what she's capable of. All right, let's go find Louie.

>>441711
You thank Lilian for all of the help that she's provided thus far.

>Hey, no problem at all. I know how it feels to be separated from where you're originally from for a while, since my parents actually lost me when I was little. Living on my own was neat for a while, but I finally got back home and appreciated it so much more after all of that crazyness had happened. No matter how bad things are back where you're from, I'm sure that they'll be a lot better when you're back from this crazy journey.

You agree with her and the two of you find a cab outside of the library, the cab brings you deeper into the center of the town and eventually drops you off in front of a large building with a neon sign saying "DEMON'S RESPITE," it's guarded by two rather bulky imps. Lilian turns to you with a worried look on her face.

>This is the club where Louie lives, be VERY careful. What Ed said is true, Louie has a really short fuse and he'll tear you apart for offending him. This club isn't the hardest to get into if you're with someone like me, so don't worry about getting to him. Are you ready?
>>
>>442329
Try to hold in your laughter for seeing two bulky imps
>>
>>442329
get in and take a look around
>>
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>>442771
You attempt to hold in your laughter while you and Lilian approach the imps, one of them glares at you while the other one grins at Lilian. Lilian lets out a sigh and puts on a disgruntled face.

>Hey, we're here to see Louie, let us in.

The imp that's glaring at you smacks the other one in the face to get his attention and then looks over at the two of you.

>Right, ya' want ta' see Louie. What kindsa demons are ya'?

Lilian scratches the back of her neck.

>I'm a succubus and this here's my friend, he's a lesser demon. That's probably why you can't sense any sort of power from him.

>Riiiiight...all right, I'll letcha in. Just don't cause no trouble now.

The imps open the twin doors leading into a hallway with an elevator at the end, you and Lilian walk over to the elevator and begin talking as soon as the door closes.

>Imps make scarily good bouncers, believe it or not. They're pretty good at sensing magic on people and figuring out what kind of magic it is. Fortunately, since I'm a succubus, they probably figured that I just drained you earlier.

>>442801
The door finally opens at the 10th floor and the two of you are met with an explosion of sound, monsters, and lights. You see Lilian mouth "stay close" before walking out of the elevator, she grabs your hand and begins guiding you through the chaos.

You take this time to look around. Everywhere you look, you see demons and monsters of all sorts dancing, talking, drinking, and generally just letting loose. There's a bar being managed by some sort of alligatorlike being, he seems awfully calm despite the chaos around him. In addition to him, you can see four well-dressed demons, probably bouncers, loitering in the corners of the room. Lilian seems to be leading you to a door at the end of the madness with a plaque saying "management" on it.
>>
>>442875
Open the door and walking while acting like any other demon
>>
>>442875
Ask lily about how we should act and what we should avoid saying or doing in front of louie.
>>
>>442942
we heard that from the lich. don't act like an ass and we should be fine. would be funny if louie was the enlighted faggot from before
>>
>>443632
Could be a twin since the enlighted faggot made his own dimension so he must be from another dimension anyway
>>
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Sorry about the less-frequent updates and thanks for still tossing in replies despite the autosage, guys.

>>442942
The noise is slightly lower right next to the door, you take this chance to ask Lilian what you should avoid doing or saying in front of Louie.

>Just don't insult his ego or say anything particularly rude, Louie is basically royalty and he's been treated that way since he was small.

>>442900
You thank Lilian and open the door, in front of you is a small flight of stairs. You and Lilian close the door behind you and walk up the stairs, opening the door to Louie's room...

Inside the room, you see a scantily clad demon woman and some demon guy that looks a lot like a greaser playing a racing game on a rather large television. The rest of the room is pretty barren, save for a large bed and a dresser. The greaser turns around and sees you.

>An' just who might you be, Mister "I enjoy interrupting ol' Louie's vidja gaem time?"
>>
>>444602
Oh great, a demon version of The Fonz.

Great him with 2 finger points and an "Ayyyyyyyyy". That should help you bond with him.
>>
>>444602
Say lmao after saying ayyy

Why is there a auto sage anyway?
I dont remember having those on other boards
>>
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>>444974
>>445248
You greet Louie by pointing two fingers at him and say "Ayyyyyyyyy lmao." Louie makes a confused expression.

>I have no idea whether yer mockin' me or if yer just stupid, either way, yer pretty ballsy comin' in here alone. Whaddaya want?

Looks like Louie isn't impressed, at least he hasn't tried to kill you yet...did he say alone? It would probably be a good idea to mention why you're here before you really give that any thought.
>>
>>445292
Look him dead serious in the eyes and repeat ayyyy lmao
>>
>>445292
why are we here anyway, the dimensions travel thing? introduce yourself and ask if he can help
>i would offer some help in return, but i don't think...maybe we can help him beat that video game
>>
>>445292
Nice hair buddy
Tunnel Snakes rule
>>
viskoek.
>>
>>445906
right, compliment his hair and ask what barber he goes to.
>>
>>445292
There isn't a jukebox for you to hit.
Panic.
>>
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>>447020
You panic slightly from the lack of jukeboxes to hit, your charisma went down!

>>445326
You look Louie dead serious in the eyes and repeat "ayyy lmao."

>Right...is that all you can say?

>>445906
>>445998
You compliment his hair and ask what barber he goes to, Louie immediately perks up.

>Ya' know Vinnie? He runs a place right down tha' street from 'ere, great guy.

>>445903
You let out a sigh and introduce yourself, apologizing for being so strange before. You explain your situation: the dimension travelling, the trying to kill yourself, the sex with Lilian, etc.

>Huh, sounds like you've had a rough day, buddy. 'Ere, take a seat. Get outta 'ere, Dazzle.

He motions for you to sit down next to him and waves the scantily-clad woman out of the room, she kisses him and then heads out of the room.

>Yeah, I think I can help ya'. I know a bit a' spacial magic, it's a little random though, so I won't know where I send you...ah, that's it. I'll try ta' send ya' closer to the "central dimension." I've heard that it's a wacky place where you can basically go anywhere from, ya' just need ta' find someone with spacial magic that can getcha closer in every dimension thatcha land in. We'll have ta' get to the roof though, this place is too small to create a portal. I have a ladder going up there in my closet.

He points to an open door with a ladder going into an opening in it. You thank him and offer to assist him in beating his video game, he chuckles.

>Buddy, this here's a racing game. There ain't no "beating the game," it's all just player versus player...huh?

The door behind you two opens suddenly and Dazzle begins walking in, however the way that she's walking is...strange to say the least. She begins to talk.

>LOUIE...I FINALLY GOT TO YOU...IT IS TIME TO BECOME ONE WITH ME.

That voice sounds a lot like...Lilian's! Louie gets up suddenly and jumps back.

>Anabelle, I thought ya' were barred from this place. I got barriers and everything set up ta' keep ya' out.

>TOO BAD, LOUIE..THIS HUMAN WORKED PERFECTLY AS A STORAGE UNIT FOR MY POWER...NOW, PREPARE YOURSELF...

All of a sudden, Dazzle burst into pieces and a shadowy form appeared where she was standing. Well fuck.
>>
>>447086
Become upset that she only wanted you for your body.
>>
>>447086
Try recruiting a demon army downstairs
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>>447086
Cut yourself deep so you are bleeding making her lose power and louie might stand a chance
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>>447586
You become slightly upset by the fact that she used you for your body, it shows on your face. Louie looks over at you.

>You all right, man?

You answer no.

>>447940
You totally would, but Anabelle is currently blocking the only way down. Looks like you won't be getting much help in this fight.

>>448199
You attempt to cut yourself by biting your wrist, Louie smacks himself in the face.

>What're ya' tryin' to do, man?

You explain your reasoning.

>That ain't how it works, she can transfer magic to an' from yer body because it's completely devoid of magic and magic potential. Don't hurt yerself, it'll only make it easier to get us.

All of a sudden, a tentacle shoots towards Louie's face from Anabelle's back. Louie grabs it just inches away from his face and sets his hand on fire, destroying the tentacle.

>Go upstairs, I'll follow ya' up there and make that portal that'cha need...oh yeah, an' I gotta plan for how to deal with this bitch.

More tentacles fly towards Louie, he blocks most of them and incinerates the tentacles that his hands don't block.
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>>448819
Tell him his plan better not involes throwing anabell in the same portal as you
>>
i was wandering why that succubus would be so nice, but i wanted to believe in her. thanks anabelle, i'll never have a healthy relationship based on respect and trust with a succubus now
>>
Don't think twice, jump into the portal to a new thread.



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