Report, my naggers, so I can get this started.

>>432453
We should probably wake up.

It's like falling heads down on an endless, spiraling water slide, without the water or any kind of sound. Or light. You just let the disgusting feeling fester on you, for lack of any will or power to deal with whatever is going on. Then it feels like time is going faster, and faster, and faster.

So you open your eyes.

An ondulating ceiling of white as bone metal, dawning some distance to your right, greets you along a /very/ powerful smell. You turn your head to the side and puke, the acid feeling in your throat nearly sending you into panic.

Right into a clean, black plate with some dishes on it, resting on something purple. You know what that is, as you slowly raise your shaking head to meet Snacks almost wide open brown eyes.

The both of you blink at each other for a while, your mouth still dripping melted hotdog by the corner.


>>432488
Nigga you can't choose to wake up! I mean, how t

>>432567
Play it cool, man, play it cool.

PL, Siegward, and pervert anon must be gambling, drinking, and beating the shit out of the homeless.

Damn!

>>432670
Aight anon, wanna fuck around a bit? I'll fling a little side quest at ya.

>>432807
I'm ready

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>>433117
Hell, why not!

---------------------------------------------------------------------
You are a thirty two years old, somewhat tall blonde woman.

Your name is Vaal.

It's not really a name though, but after the Rain nobody gives a shit about surnames anymore; they took the chance to start over along the catastrophe and stuckwith it,.

So, your name is Vaal.

You are currently living in an old model hybrid aircraft that can't go underwater due to shitty protocol issues, on an artificial island supported by a gigantic ship underwater. The Second.

A kid lives with you, since two months ago. He's four. Pretty smart, though.

And you just lost your job as a receptionist,.

>>433162
is there more to this side quest?

>>433561

As in? I dunno man, niggas busy pimping and my teeth pain just woke me up. Gimme moves. Like, more than one.

>>433774
ok sucks about your teeth man
umm i guse start looking for pokemon to train and build a gym?

>>433831
We could be a Pokemon breeder

>>433895

Back then, when your feet didn't hit the ground from the chair and you were slightly more retarded, the teacher would ask you, smiling, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

And you had to be one weird little fucker not to empty your lungs screaming "POKEMOOOON!!!".

So fuck it. The craft still hovering a few feet from the ground, you leap from the small, rusty side door, landing firmly on the grass. Behind the ship there's nothing but a cliff and the ocean. Endless.The sun bouncing on it from the dense gray clouds. Yet in front of it, there's a statue in the center of a plaza, downhill. The plaza surrounded by tress and aircrafts, maybe there's pokemon in there.

>>433831

And you need pokemons to make a gym. Time to look for some tall grass! AND GUESS FUCKING WHAT, A PIKACHU!

>>433905
Beat the shit out of it with your fist so you can catch it.

>>433955
You don't have pokeballs. Instead you have your balled-up fist, and you swear to the wise gods of the bright sea that you will shove it so down that orange cheek that you will wear that fucker like a glove.

Yet, it vanishes into the bushes. FUCK. You run after the yellow thing, as if eight hours of each day of your life were on the line, just to find it runs like that cat you sprinkled with extasis that boring Sunday.

It climbs a tree, startling the young lovely couple underneath it.

>>433968
Jump over the couple and climb the tree while yelling "I HAVE TO CATCH THEM ALL".

>>433976
The guy squishes the girl into him brutally, both flinching as you take the leap of faith into the tree and let your desire be known to the winds.

You smash your pretty hair into the bark.

Grinding your teeth, you reach for a scale above and begin your ascend into a Pokemon Master! You cheek is bleeding, but fuck that; you gotta catch em all.

As you rise above the normies, you notice the Pikachu staring blankly at you from above. Yeah, bitch. Fear me!

>>433986
Throw stuff at the damn thing.

>>433995
You fling your cellphone at the fucker. It hits it square in the face, but it startles it more than anything.

Slowmotion.

Moving your irises up as if they were stones, you manage to notice that the Pikachu is right about to jump over you, as it tilts its tiny legs back to gain momentum.

You clench the bark with your nails so hard one of them breaks, unaware of anything else happening in the world that isn't yellow or orange.

>>434006
Intercept it's jump with your fist

>>434020
Intercept but with giant dido we keep in ass

>>434020
It was written. Somewhere inside a sunken pyramid, under a pile of rubble and dead guys, you were melting your fist into the stomach of the yellow, grimacing little fuck. Flying at 90° in the air. The sheer force of your will to not work under some underfucked asshole pushed you both thirty feet forward, as the fabric of its soft body threatened to ripple under your burning fist.

Then you fall. Hard; the both of you rolling in the floor like a retard panicking in a barrel. Until your back lets out a slight "crack", as its slammed into the ladder of a hotdog spot airship.

In ends with you on top of the Pikachu.

>>434025
Unfortunately, nagger, you left the dildo at home. And now the kid is using it to play Star Wars.

>>434046
Put the damn yellow beast in your bag.

>>434082
You don't have a bag, so you take off your long, black coat and surround the pocket monster in it. It struggles an awful lot, though, after you slam the coat in your back. Well, those folks staring at you must be pretty jealous.

You blink. Now what?

>>434093
Find a gym and get a badge

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>>434098

You follow the sounds of screams and metal crashing bouncing against the floor. Scowling at the stinging bag at your back, you enter the gym and gaze onto the sea of muscles and good form that keeps on splintering at every corner. From the corner of your eye, you spot a big, black man walking towards you, he stops a a bit too near you then smiles with shining white teeth.

"May I help you with something?"

You stare at him with your mouth open, your coat-bag still shaking at your back.

>>434093
Or challenge the couple to a battle

>>434147
Ask if he is the gym leader

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>>434153

You ask the prominent black man if he's the leader of this gym. He grimaces slightly, still smiling.

"I don't know If I'm the leader or something, but I work here. You came to gain some muscle, girl?"

You "hmm". Well, being a Pokemon Master is all fine and dandy. But getting ripped...

Suddenly, your back feels light and you turn around at the Pikachu getting lost in the sea of machines and screaming men. You stare wide eyed with a sly smirk; your left eye twitches.

>>434165
Smack the bag against the wall until it faints, then check our wallet and see if we can pay for gains

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>>434178
You slam your coat against the wall as the black man furthers his grimace while frowning his eyebrows. Not because of sheer animal cruelty; but because it's empty.

You stop, and sigh, then fumble trough the pockets of your coat for your wallet until it falls to the ground. You pick it up, split the sides, then turn it upside down; a small, beutiful white feather glides from it. Then, you and the muscleman staring, it flies in circles across the place, until it finally rests in the ass of a slim looking white guy. Who doesn't notice.

>>434202
Pick it up

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>>434250

Slightly puffing your cheeks, you walk to the oblivious white guy and pluck the feather from his ass, without him noticing. Then, with big steps, you walk towards the big black guy who /yet/ hold his grimace, to now almost ridiculous levels, and hand him over the feather, as you grab your waist with the other hand. He looks at the feather; then raises his eyes at you.

"OK."

Next thing you know, the bar is going up and down above you. You coat is in the hanger. A pale blue short covers from your waist to your knees, while a white tank top takes care of your chest and modest, yet round breasts. You run the threadmill, squat the bar, lift the bar, /feel/ the bar.
And before you know it... you are deadlifting your own weight. Worry suddenly hits you as this may not be so lady-like; but it vanishes smoke on a hurricane as you stare into the mirror.

Holy mother of fuck-yeah. Yeah; you got ripped.

In the mirror, the black man nods approvingly, a sharp tear crossing his cheek. You nod as well towards the mirror.

------------------------------------------------------------------
Pausing here! :D

>>434298
"as smoke in a hurricane. Mobile-fucking-questing.

>>434298
time to flex in the change room then shower

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>>434298
also thanks ahha didnt think youl do the pokemone thing ahh ausome

>>434662

It takes a while, but you finally unglue your eyes from the mirror after realizing you can fuck the girl in the mirror anytime you want. At the change room you flex every single muscle, take off your clothes, take a shower, and wear your dandy black coat again. It all happens uneventfully. Until you exit the gym's door, leaving behind everyone waving at you, and realize you still aren't a Pokemon Master, that you still don't have a job either.

You sigh, defeated, still flexing your left arm without realizing it.

>>435163
Maybe we could be a gym leader. (Work at that gym)

>>435189
A brilliant idea suddenly strikes you!

"Nope."

The "gym leader" at the gym holds his white smile, much to your annoyance as you stare at him pouting. Then he grabs a passerby white guy, who keeps screaming as the gym leader squats him like a bar. As the black guy sweats bullets into workout paradise, you head out without even shaking your head.

>>435212
What about the Pokemon safari(zoo).

>>435404

The closest thing there is to a zoo over the massive thing that is the Second is the free hotel the Judge sat up for refugees and people trying to get back on their feet. Underpopulation is, perhaps, the single most impactful issue in the world, currently. More than resources. More than Anythings. So any mind that can be saved, no matter how crazy or stupid or to what degree, is looked after like a rose in the desert.

Most of those guys end up in the hotel. Not you, though. You got your flawed hybrid.

And you still don't have a job.

Not all is gray and sighing, through! You arrived just yestarday, so the future may not be confined to stealing parts until you fix the ship.

Yet.

I'm not sure I even want an answer, but I just followed the link on twitter and what is this?

Trust me, it's very fucking complex.

Also gib choices plx, I wanna git gud.

>>435464
How about a animal hospital. We could b nurse joy. Or a receptionist

>>435837

After some wandering around the towny puter layer of the Second, you remember animals are so rare nowadays that meat almost vanished from every diet- well except for the few rare farm-ships, and the farms at the big ships.

Thinking of all of this, you finally spot a restaurant by the shore. It bolsters a brown layout, and the glass entry door that seems like two big windows stuck togueter is across a small bridge over a small, humble river.
It strikes you as fancy, so you take a bubbly jog across the woodplanks of the bridge.

--------------------------------------------------------
"You want to /what/?" asks the cross-shaped helmet across the table, over a complex, dense looking armor.

>>436012
I want a job so I can be the very best, like no one ever was.

>>436210

You imagine the face of a stoic, yet cute girl, sporting short white hair, looking at you flabbergasted as you keep on singing,

"To catch em all is my real test, to train them is my cause! I'll battle across the land...!"

Yout voice was always like this; continous, soft, with a spice of cheerful. No stutters Yet your singing is /rudely!/ cut off by another voice, a rash voice echoing behind the helmet.

"Heed my words, you fuck; this is a restaurant. We make food, serve food, eat food from the leftovers." The cross on the helmet is clearly fixated on your the sharp face under your dense blonde hair. "We meed a recepcionist Greet the fuckers, make them sit. Trashy, nigger, and Arma-fucker take from there. You in?"

>>436297
Oh god the typos
>your the sharp
FFFFFF
>meed
FFFFFFFFFFF
> yout
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKK

>>436297
balls deep im in

>Find the nearest known source of lithium.

>wonder about nihilism and the techniques of motorcycle preventive maintenence.

Witnessed

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>>436623

You think that sounds fun as fuck, and shout "Balls deep!" straight to the cross as you witness your beaming smile in it's reflection.

It "hmms".

"We have this horny, white dwarf at the docks. Tell her that you are new. She'l set you up."

>>436821

"And this is the kitchen- what was your name, again?"

"Vaal."

The horny, white dwarf happens to be a himehorn in winter clothes. Unlike any you've ever seen yet, her hair is white, and her eyes are red.

"Did I ask for yours?" you ponder,glancing at her as you walk towards a big, messy mountain of cheese.

She shakes her head. "Umo." The small thing points horns and finger toward the mountain. "This shouldn't be like this, but nobody cares enough. "She bites her lips while slightly shaking her head" So ignore it. Cheese here is served first as a courtesy. What happens is that the-"

Why would there be a point? If there was one single, meager or great point to life, what would happen once we reach it? Your eyes widen slightly, as you stare blankly at the gross mountain of cheese. Barely glancing as black hole-headed man dunks more cheese at the mountain in pure basketball fashion, you wonder why things happen. Why would they? Mostly, why /should/ they? Should they?

You shake your head, Umo still talking.

No. They shouldn't They just /do/.

You change the oil of the ol Harley, even if you can never use it, because you /want/ to. It makes you happy; unscrewing the engine's oil cap, turning it on (to warm up the oil), removing the drain bolt, replacing the oil filter, the air filter, the fuel filter...

You never needed a big reason to do it, just the sheer pleasure of hearing the engine come to life and /that's it/. No big reasons, no big dreams; you'd rather die a happy shadow.

You close your eyes, smiling slyly as you nod. Yet once they see the light, they widen and freeze entirely.

It's the Pikachu. At a window across the kitchen.
It's crouching, likely measuring a jump to a nearby trashcan inside.

"-so some of the morons give them half the cheese, then throw the other half here." Umo sighs, sounding really defeated. "They should care at least a little bit more about this place, but what can you do, right?"

You nod slowly.

"Hey, are you listening?!"

>>438096
Gimme your schedule you fuck!

>>438804
Want to help me catch a Pikachu

>>439038
"What?"

Her eyebrows frown. Smiling widely like a retard kid on Christmas, you quickly point at the Pikachu just as it takes the leap and vanishes inside the trashcan with a "thump". You glance at her. Frowning further, the snowhorn's eye still widen as you casually walk towards the shaking trashcan. Smiling. Once near, you look at Umo, and tilt your blonde hair towards it.

She just stays there, frowning.

>>439264
Aw shit, I missed this thread starting up.
>tip trashcan

>>439264
>>tip trashcan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCrLMwDz5qE

>>439264
>Tip trash can ready to make it faints with your fist

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>>439819
>>439861


Almost with childish glee, you step behind the trashcan, facing the himehorn. Umo watching -still frowning-, you gesture like having an orgasm as you crouch. And with the tip of your slender finger, you gently, yet firmly, tip the trashcan until it tilts.

Then kick the bottom with all your might as you stand, in one fluid motion.

It's smashed next to Umo's head and gaping mouth, yet before it even hits the floor you are already running at top speed across the kitchen.

>>440125

When the yellow thing shows it's face, it's eyes meet you, gliding in slow motion with your fist raised in /BURNING DETERMINATION/. It swiftly jumps to the side.

It doesn't make it.

The painful scowl of the Pikachu slowly melts against your fist, as it lets out a gruesome "PIIIIKAAAAA" in slowmotion. It sends it flying against the wall, again, as you land, then roll due to powerful inertia. The Pikachu slowly slides off the wall, it's face blank, then desperately tries to run away. It's face shrieks after you /finally/ slam it's back against the floor in checkerboad motif.

You stand proudly, then take a deep breath as you strike a pose. This is it. Your very own Everest; your time to shine has come.

...until you notice Umo carefully stepping aside, as a titanic shadow of endless cheese looms over you. You turn your head, too late to even scream.

(Cont!)

>>440234
>cont
pls no cliffhanger

>>440303
>Will you pay me to catch pokemon as is my calling?
>Yes either way

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"My sweet dandelion, might thou explain me what the /fuck/ was that?"

The Cross Boss "stares" at you still covered in cheese, sporting a childish, cute smile over closed eyes, as the Pikachu desperately tries to chew the rope near it's neck.

"Pokemon!" You shout, excitedly. And no, you can't help but strike another silly pose. "I'm the Pokemon Trainer, Vaal! And I'm going to be a Pokemon Master!"

"What." Her voice sounds so weak, you can't help but giggle at his surprise. After all, it must be great to meet another Pokemon Trainer.

The Cross Boss still stares, like frozen in time.

A voice behind you exiles you from dreamland; it's deep, and rash. "Nigga, you tellin me you know no Pokemon? Man, fuck you man."

The Cross Boss just turns towards the black man, still not talking.

"Pokemons are 'pocket monsters'." The voice /under/ startles you; Umo is so small you didn't even see her coming. She seems bored. "They were a thing before the Rain. That thing over there," she points at the Pikachu, not looking any less bored, "it's a pokemon."

"You mean, a fucking Anything." Finally, the Cross Boss talks.

Umo nods, sagely. "Pokemon trainers went from place to place, sending their monsters to fight against the monsters of other pokemon trainers. They usually traveled across the world, trying to become /the best/."

"What" the Cross Boss almost shouts, weakly. "Really?!"

Umo smirks. "Pokemons were a fiction, Boss. They never existed."

"But now they do!" you lift the rope, almost unaware that you are hanging the Pikachu. "And more will come out! Then gyms! Then tournaments! Then bikes will be the most expensive thing in the world!" You can barely contain your excitement. "And I will travel the lands, searching far and wide! For pokemons to understand, the power that's inside!"

The Boss and Umo share a silent /look/.

"Meanwhile," the Cross Boss cleears her throat, "wanna work here?"

>>440311

"Fuck no, you asshole, what the f-"

A loud "thumb" echos as Umo kicks the bottom of Cross Boss's dense armor. They share another /look/; then, the cross turns to you.

"Yeah, whatever. Go catch the pakeymans."

You pump a fist in the air, keeping a serious, professional look under your blonde hair.

>>440326
Demand to be paid in fair maidens

>>440326
Aww yiss, we got it fucking made.

>>440329

"You want them with horns or not?"

Another "thumb" echoes, but this time she doesn't even flinch.

"You'd be paid the same misery than the rest of the fucktards, almost enough to last half the month. At least until they stop stealing shit from the restaurant."

Oh, well, it doesn't sound so bad. Yet it saddens you; it'd be fun if there were some fair maidens in the trade.

You shrug. Can't have it all, I guess.

>>440348
Then yes, I'll join! You have to feed your new Pikachu and yourself... oh and also that one kid you found that likes to play with your toys.

>>440348
Will we go back to garbage and snacks?

>>441538
Hopefully eventually
I mean I gotta sleep so now would be inconvenient for yours truly

>>441538
Unless we suffer a particular shortage of niggers, yeah. Otherwise, we fuck around with Vaal.
>>441547
FREEZE MOFUCKER, GIMME YOUR SCHEDULE! RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!

>>441092
Writang final postan in a wailan!