>>580430
Continued:

With one final effort, you realize that this single being is trying it's best to deny you the booty at the end of the tunnel. That more than anything ignites the next tidal wave of fury in you, and fully re-energized, you jump back up and slam your fists together in rage.

Finding the angel in your sights, you start sprinting as fast as you can, going so fast that you see the background around you pass in a blur and focusing intently on your target. Guided by hatred, you press with your legs and leap forwards, flying straight at the angel with its death on your mind and a wound up fist behind you.

As you come up on the angel, it tries to bring up a fist to break upon you as you enter within range but it’s far, far too slow. With the force of a doomsday meteor colliding with a planet, you bring your fist onto the monster’s oversized face. The resulting impact nearly shatters your entire arm, and it echoes that sentiment in the wave of pain that surges through you as you fall back to the Earth. The destruction wrought on the angel is far worse, however, as it’s face nearly falls apart at the seams.

Disjointed angles and shards of bone stick from exposed flesh, and the signs of massive internal bleeding are evident on its ugly mug as it staggers backwards, nearly lifeless.

Seizing on the opportunity, you find yourself in position to end this rightly, to put the matter of this of who is the true alpha male to rest once and for all.

>Falcon

>Slam

>Use the cannon

Ishmael will respond in a while, later or tomorrow so vote those choices guys!

Hello?

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>>582057
This has to end. You grab the control stick and slam it as far down as it will go.
‘Boost…. Full Power!”

Your EVA stomps into a running start again, looping around the angel over and over, building speed to critical levels. Your HUD is put to the test as it runs at max power to keep up with the blurring world in front of you to keep your brain able to comprehend as you sprint.

Ten laps turn into twenty, that turns into fifty, and eventually a hundred full circle laps around the angel. Glancing at the angel as your EVA shudders under the incredible strain of moving faster than almost anything on the planet, you notice the white beast beginning to regain its balance.

Suddenly, the monster begins to shudder, and you’re quite certain that it isn’t a side effect of moving fast enough to crush the ground under you lower and lower.

Shaking, the angel begins to burn with an abyssal flame, registering heat levels that are clearly dangerous even from your fully decked out EVA. With an ear-shattering blast, the creature roars and unleashes an explosion of pitch-black flame, melting any and everything in its radius. It is by sheer luck that you manage to register the danger and steer your EVA in a clear line away from the detonation to avoid being disintegrated by that hellish immolation.

You hear a long, drawn out laugh from the beast, and realize something that shakes you to your core. That voice belongs to fucking Gendo! You killed that fucking faggot! You saw his pathetic, NEET-like body crumble under your swole might!

“You’ve fallen straight into my trap Ikari, exactly like I knew you would.”

Oh God, not even in death will this fuckboy quit talking.

“Gendo shut the fuck up and so I can kill you again. And again. And again. As many times as it takes to make sure I never hear your gormless, effete, senile manbaby.”

He seems to have taken the bait, you note with pleasure, as he actually stops talking for a blessed second to regain his composure.

“I’ve won already, Ikari. You can’t stop what’s coming, the angel will destroy this world, and I will remake it fo- “

“Yeah, yeah for your hot-ass wife. Well, you know what, four-eyes? I’ll take you out, even if it means the end of me, for alphas all across the world and for the booty they will claim this night, and the nights after. My legacy will live on, while you, on the other hand, you’re taking a one-way trip to flavortown!”

You yank the stick and your EVA charges at the dark angel, moving faster than sound. Your mighty footfalls pulp the solid ground under your feet, and as you approach you note the legs of your EVA begin to burn and erode, such is the speed of your assault. (1/2)

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>>583504

Within suitable distance, you punch the controls, and your EVA leaps sky-high, avoiding a blast of pure void energy that the dark angel had sent your way with an appraising palm.

As you reach the apex of your jump, you elbow the glass in a hidden compartment under the controls and find the bright-red button labeled “Last Resort” in hazard tape. Getting out of your chair, you pop a boner quick and thrust directly into the button, activating the final stage of your plan. Absorbing all the energy from your EVA, you sit in the seat and kick the eject button.

The seat propels you skyward, and at this speed, your body would have been completely destroyed had you not been in possession of the complete resources of an EVA unit zapped into you. With the surge of raw energy flowing through you, you and Gendo both see your trajectory and prepare accordingly. Gendo’s dark angel prepares a mighty hand of pure black energy, enough eldritch forces to perhaps consume a planet if your eyes aren’t deceiving you.

You channel the energy within you, your inner alpha male, your hopes and dreams of banging all the hot chicks in this fucking show, everything you have into your clenched fist. Flying faster than sound, you bring the compiled forces to bear, bracing your fist and winding it as far back as you can as you approach the incoming black-hand with seconds to spare.

“FALCON- “You scream into the wind as you begin to move your arm back from its wound position to strike.

“PUNCH!” Your fist of coruscating crimson energy collides against the outstretched dark angel arm jam-packed with abyssal energies with the force of a big bang.

Light and darkness mix and mingle in the ensuing flash, consuming everything around the impact zone in slow-motion. You lose feeling in your body, and as you close your eyes, you can see the monstrous face of the angel do the same.

You lean your head back as everything ends. Your job is done. (2/2)

>(1d100)

Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>583509

Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>583509

Good Morning, People!

Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>583509

>>583522
Looks like you have rolled the highest number.

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Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>583509
Please, Dice-Gods! There must be an epilogue!

>>584338
Said it too soon. Meido rolled 1 number higher than 45.

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At first…there is nothingness.

Space.

The Void. Whatever you want to call it.

Then, you feel yourself BE once more.

Your body has returned, your senses barring vision have returned, somehow. You hear somebody breathing hard nearby, the rustling of clothes and footsteps. You can’t yet move your body, though you know it’s back.

A faint sunlight warms your skin, and with it comes a faint breeze. Suddenly two hands are wrapped around your throat, slowly choking the life out of you.

You quickly open your eyes, noting the brutal adjustment in your vision to light from absolute darkness, and as your brain works to comprehend the images it’s being sent you look upwards to find out the source of the choking.

What the fuck.

Above you is a bedraggled Gendo, tears flowing through his glasses and generally acting like a gigantic baby.

He notices your eyes on him, and you grip his cheek with a faint hand.

“Holy shit you absolute faggot.”

You pull his glasses off and headbutt this…this FAAAAG straight backwards with another breaking of his nose and teeth.

Getting up to your feet, you grab a nearby rock and slap him across the face with it in short order in a rage borne of disgust.

“Gendo, I swear to God, if you wish things back to normal I won’t facefuck you silly. I have a date with a few ladies tonight.”

Gendo struggles to get back to his feet as you remove your boot from his chest, and you give him a look of barely-concealed violence.

He manages to recover his composure in short order, your brutal beating more than enough of an incentive to shore up his weakness, and looks at you with a miserable look.

“Why would I help you?”

My god what a fucking faggot.

>Write-in to convince him (include roll of d100)

Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>588807
Threaten to fuck him into oblivion if the world isn't set straight; it's not gay since he's such a bitch. Whip out junk to emphasize point

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>>588847
Anon...

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>>588900
Dice Gods will it, Ishmael

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>>588925
Your quest for pussy isn’t going to fucking stop because of this FUCKING FRUITCAKE.

“Gendo, if you don’t fix this shit right now, I will literally fuck you to death you goddamn queer.”

You unzip your pants, and bring to bear your magnificent railgun to the horrified face of Gendo, who goes pale at the sight. Noticing your railgun lacks sufficient charge, you stare deep into Gendo’s soul as you grip it and begin diverting power to it, allowing yourself a smile as it soon comes online.

Gendo still looks hesistant, so you grab him by the shoulders and throw him down to the ground before pinning him down on his back and getting on the mount. Ripping off his pants and reassuring yourself that, no, this is not gay due to being done in the name of booty, you put one arm to his neck and choke before whispering closely in his ear.

“I’m the boss of this gym.”

At the mention of that, he wets his pants and you leap off his prone form to avoid being sprayed with his fluids. Naked, crawling, and thoroughly emasculated, he begins to recite his wish to recover the world to its pre-apocalypse third-impact fuckfest while you hold a rock and your railgun in your hands to remind him of the consequences of any treachery.

After a few moments, you see the familiar glow of pure nothingness envelop everything again.

Awakening once again, you feel sunlight and wind YET AGAIN on your skin. And for some fucking reason your eyes are just as fucked up as last time!

As two hands once again touch your body, you will yourself to react and grab both hands randomly upwards because honestly fuck getting choked out by bitches.

“AAAAAAAH!”

That doesn’t sound like Gendo…

As your hands grip something surprisingly soft yet firm, you open your eyes and find yourself groping the chest of a red-suited, unnaturally furious Tsundere.

You hope the gulp you make next doesn’t look as obvious as you feel it does. “H-how disgusting?”

She slaps your shit so hard you nearly get transplanted into an alternate universe, before attempting to begin a merciless tongue-lashing until her blush gets too serious and she kicks you in the balls before sulking her Tsun off.

Through the incredible pain (More than Gendo was ever to inflict by a long shot) you somehow manage a smile.

Check. Mate.

(1/2)

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>>589676
You black out again, you suppose it was probably the kick to your railgun and reactor cores than anything else, but then again you haven’t eaten or had anything substantial to drink to last you through a dimensional third-impact caused shift. Ah well.

You dream of the typical things, money, women, being more jacked than you already are and a fuckin’ nice Shelby. Nothing out of the ordinary really, the circumstances behind it might be radically different but in truth it doesn’t really bother you, I mean shit, life is good.

As you awaken slowly for the third time, you find yourself in a hospital bed surrounded by white sheets and all that jazz. At least until you see three women pop out from the sides of the bed and you nearly have a fucking heart attack.

Rei and Asuka are both wearing their signature plugsuits with some…revealing parts purposefully unzipped, rather emphasizing their curves and fuck it, basically everything else at the same time, while Misato is dressed in a beautiful black lace dress that makes your head spin in excitement when you stare.

Glancing over at the nightstand, you see an inordinate amount of alcohol and various medicines. Among them you see some very, very high quality drinks and a bottle of Viagra.

Is this the real life? Or is it just fantasy?

Stuck in a landslide.

No escape from reality.

Ope-

“Shinji!” You hear cried aloud as your head hits the pillow again, your heart quite literally not taking the strain of heaven approaching you.

“Is he going to be okay?” Somebody asks, your barely conscious state somehow detecting it amidst the blackness.

"We could pay a visit to the prison and ask Gendo how to fix him."

Seconds later, you pop a massive boner, and you regain consciousness with the knowledge that the surge of blood rushing through you is also powering up your railgun. It actually pushes the bed sheets upwards, causing a violent blush in the cheeks of all the women present. You break out the best, fullest smile you have as you look at them.

“Don’t worry ladies…I’m going to be just /fine/.”

(2/2)

(Song of your choice begins to play somewhere)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6QZn9xiuOE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpqmoBYkQfc&index=5&list=PLvtf5_jipvruRbGNUCAflMIyDz9aE9leU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkADj0TPrJA

[Yeah basically play shit like this]

THE END.

Questions? Comments? Concerns?

Drop 'em all!

I enjoyed writing this, even if life got in the way like every single time.

I hope you enjoyed reading it!

>>589760
FUCKING. GREAT.
I'm proud of you and God Tier for pulling this blast of a quest. It lacked one thing; advertising, but the thing itself was bloody awesome.

Thanks for running!

Good shit