>>1978687
>A totally average Japanese schoolboy
This sounds like a terrible idea that nothing good could ever come of.

Let's go.

>>1978687
>A hard-boiled detective who had only one day left before retirement
Because I find the idea of OP having to provide hard-boiled noir monologues about magical girls to be fucking hilarious.

>>1978687
>>Someone else [Write In]
>A hard-boiled Japanese schoolboy detective

>>1978886
T h i s

>>1978687
>Someone else [Write In]
>A hardboiled NEET detective who turned into a kid and began a neverending journey to turn back into an adult whilst fighting crime, he used to be a girl before the plot happened and thus identifies himself as such

>>1978784
>>1978886
>>1978899
>>1978926

You are a hard-boiled Japanese schoolboy detective, or at least that's what you used to be in your old life. Before the invasion, before the world changed forever. Now you are just an old man on the run, an old man looking for a place to die in.

"Dude, you are like twelve years old!" One of the other resistance fighters shouted at you from the dark. You ignored him and continued to brood about the futility of human existence.

You had warned the chief about what was coming, but he didn't believed you. No one did. You remember the chief shouting, "For the last time, Takeshi, there is no such thing as magical girls! Stop wasting my time and go solve some murders or some shit!"

The chief didn't know what was coming. Or perhaps he did know and was too afraid to say it aloud. You remember the reports, good men were being found brutally stabbed to death in dark alleys, their bodies covered in glitter and candy. The magical girls were coming and they were killing off those who they deemed as threats.

"I'm too old for this," You sighed as you loaded your gun, perhaps for the last time. Why are we still here? Just to suffer? You knew the war was lost, the magical girls have already won. The most humanity can do now is delay the inevitable.

But still you continue to fight. Why do you keep fighting against all odds?

>The magical girls killed your family and you want revenge

>They stole your retirement fund and you are slightly irritated

>You had made a promise to your dying partner

>To leave a better world for your kids

>To bring the magical girls to justice for all the crimes they commited

>No particular reason, you just hate magical girls

>Some other reason [Write-in]

>>1979312
>Some other reason [Write-in]
Because I have a top secret confidential plan, it is highly confidential, in fact not even the dead President is allowed to see it.

The plan involves kidnapping a Magical Girl and using future technology to swap bodies, then I go to the Magical Girls base to spy on them and figure out their weakness.

>>1979312
>You had made a promise to your dying partner
Just before your partner (childhood friend) died (moved to another city), you promised to keep in touch. But soon after, the two of you fell out of contact!

The only way left for you to connect back up with them is for you to make a name for yourself carving a swathe of destruction through the magical girl ranks, a shining beacon to that you're still here and still waiting for their return!

You wonder how she's doing these days. You hope she's safe, and - god forbid - hasn't fallen in with these nasty magical girl-types.

>>1979356
>>1979375

You continue to fight because there is still hope. You have a top secret highly confidential plan that not even the dead president knew about. But for it to succeed. you will have to survive against nearly impossible odds.

You remember the old days, when you still had hopes and dreams for a better world. You remember a young man who wanted to be a detective because he believed in justice. You remember that young man growing bitter and cynical as the years passed. You remember an old promise he had made to a childhood friend.

I hope she is still alive, You sighed, Or at least she didn't suffer too much before they killed her.

"They've found us!" Bob yelled as you too noticed a dozen magical girls marching towards your hideout. They chanted their accursed war cry, "Desu! Desu! Desu!" as they approached your position.

"I'll hold them off, the rest of you run!" Captain Rogers shouted back as he readied his machinegun. He was a decorated marine with over 300 confirmed kills, but even he couldn't hope to survive against these many magical girls alone.

What do you do?

>"Good luck, bro!" [Run as fast as you can]

>"We'll never forget your sacrifice." [Give him a manly hug, then run]

>"I'll stay too, rest of you run!" [Stay with him and fight]

>"We are not leaving you behind!" [Persuade others to stay as well]

>"There are too many of them, we should surrender." [Try negotiating with the magical girls]

>"What if we cried and begged for mercy instead?" [Plead]

>Something else [Write-in]

>>1979894
>Something else [Write-in]
Remind him to reserve the last bullet to off himself, a much better way to go than what they would do

>>1979909
>>1979894
This of course

>>1979909
>>1979942

"Keep the last bullet for yourself", You remind Rogers in a grim voice, "You know what they do to their prisoners."

"They will never take me alive," Rogers nods. He then runs towards the approaching magical girls, machinegun in hand, and yells "Better dead than magical!"

---------

"What do they do their prisoners exactly?" Bob asks in a scared voice as the rest of you retreated, leaving Rogers to his fate.

>"Lewd and unspeakable things."

>"They use their evil magic to turn men into magical girls."

>"They rip out your chest hair one by one. Mustaches too if you have any."

>"They force you to star in slice-of-life or harem anime, where a dozen magical girls chase after you all day."

>"They sacrifice men to eldritch abominations."

>"Tea parties. Without any milk."

>Something worse [Write-in]

>>1980122
>"Lewd and unspeakable things."
Some of them other things ain't even torture desu

>>1980122
>"They force you to star in slice-of-life or harem anime, where a dozen magical girls chase after you all day."

Jesus Christ, how cruel. This is limbo right there

>>1980122
>"They force you to star in slice-of-life or harem anime, where a dozen magical girls chase after you all day."

>>1980122
>"Tea parties. Without any milk."
Jokes on them, I take my tea without milk.

This is the worst thing I've read all day and I got a final notice on my mortgage payment and tested positive for AIDS earlier.

>>1980122

>"They use their evil magic to turn men into magical girls."

Tell me about the Mahous, why do they not fight for The Justice?

>>1980122
>>"They use their evil magic to turn men into magical girls."

>>1980122
>"They force you to star in slice-of-life or harem anime, where a dozen magical girls chase after you all day."
and when they catch you, they do
>"Lewd and unspeakable things."
Also, 90% of them only drink green tea. That means
>"Tea parties. Without any milk."

>>1980916
they do fight for The Justice, their Justice.

>>1980122
Supporting
>>1980303
>>1980721
>>1981438

>>1980171
>>1980303
>>1980721
>>1980756
>>1980760
>>1981325
>>1981438
>>1981770

"They force you to star in slice-of-life or harem anime, where a dozen magical girls chase after you all day, every day." You say in a somber voice.

"Truly a fate worse than death.” Resistance Fighter #1 says in a terrified voice.

“Wait, is that really that bad?” Bod sounds confused.

“Have you ever seen the main characters of those magical girl harem anime? I have watched several highly accurate documentaries smuggled from Japan. They still keep me awake at night!” Resistance Fighter #2 shivers in fear, “The main character will have a dozen or more magical girls chasing after him, but he will somehow stay completely oblivious to their advances. I think those magical girls lobotomize or drug their victims before forcing them to star in harem anime!”

“What if they are just autistic?” Resistance Fighter #3 asks.

“Those boys have dead eyes, man, dead eyes! It’s almost like their souls have been consumed. It’s like they are all dead inside! Who knows what lewd and unspeakable things the magical girls do to them after they are captured!” Resistance Fighter #1 shudders at the thought, “I heard they even use their evil magic to turn men into magical girls and force them to fight their own brothers!”

“Those monsters! They will pay for their war crimes!” Resistance Fighter #2 says with righteous fury, “We will have our revenge!”

>>1980916
>>1981706

"Tell me about the Mahous, why do they not fight for The Justice?" You ask the other resistance fighters since quite a few of them seem informed about the magical girls.

“Nobody knows for sure, Mr. Takeshi.” Resistance Fighter #1 replies, “But I’ve read on the internet that the magical girls are actually evil energy taking physical form. Since they are nothing but pure evil, they get stronger by spreading pain and misery among the human race.”

“I watched some YouTube videos explaining the magical girl conspiracy theory”, Resistance Fighter #4 says “They make a solid case about how magical girls were behind World War II and are actually Zionist spies. Also, they are communists.”

“I’m 90% sure that magical girls aren’t communists,” Bob sighs and shakes his head.

“Have you ever seen magical girls and communists in the same room at the same time?” Resistance Fighter #4 says, “I’m just saying that the fat guy on YouTube might be onto something.”

“I heard that the Mahou Shoujo serve the great old ones and want to sacrifice the human in the name of their dark masters,” Resistance Fighter #5 says, “Or they themselves are eldritch abominations whose true form cannot be perceived by our feeble human brains.”

“I think they are on drugs. I mean just look at them, at least half of them are on cocaine!” Resistance Fighter #3 says, “I heard the lead cause of death among magical girls is marijuana overdose.”

“Marijuana overdose, you say?” Bob looks at him skeptically, “I’m pretty sure that’s not how any of this works.”

“Doesn’t matter what they are or who they serve,” Resistance Fighter #2 says, “We just need to kill them and avenge our fallen brethren!”

“What if there are some good magical girls?” Resistance Fighter #6 says, he was one of the younger fighters you had, “What if they are fighting for their sense of justice and think humans are the evil ones?”

“Son, the only good magical girl is a dead magical girl!” Resistance Fighter #2 grunts.

What do you think about the Mahous?

>They are nothing but pure evil, just like newspaper comics

>They are communists, definitely communists

>They are eldritch abominations

>They are on drugs, it’s the only logical explanation

>Humans are the evil ones and magical girls are fighting for their own justice

>It won’t matter what they were when they are dead

>They are something else [Write-in]

>>1982015
>"Do any of you want to make a quick buck while killing off Magical Girls, I may know how to make Cocaine"

>>1982031
and
>They are something else [Write-in]
>They are obviously Alien Robots addicted to drugs, the Aliens accidentally flipped the switch so the Magical Automatons instead of herd the cattle they slaughter the cattle, us. It won't be long before the Aliens realise their mistake and put the robots on standby mode, just pray to Xeno Jesus

>>1982015
>Who gives a shit? Once war breaks out it doesn't matter who's right, just who's left. And YOU don't intend to end up dead - or worse, a harem protagonist.

>>1982015
>Humans are the evil ones, we should accept our extermination peacefully.

>>1982015
>It won’t matter what they were when they are dead

>>1982015
>They are communists, definitely communists

>>1982015
>>They are communists, definitely communists
There is no other explanation.

>>1982015
>They are something else [Write-in]
>They are eldritch abomination communists here to siphon human life energy for the Dark Ones who lurk between the stars.

>>1982031
>>1982045
>>1982097
>>1982119
>>1982416
>>1982518
>>1982795

You think that the magical girls are obviously communist alien robots addicted to drugs. But you don't tell the other resistance fighters what you think. It won't matter who the magical girls were once everyone is dead.

"What if we are the evil ones? Maybe we should just let the Mahous exterminate us peacefully. Stop reproducing, walk hand in hand into extinction - one last midnight, brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal," You say in a depressed voice while gazing into the darkness, "Or maybe we already did. Time is a flat circle."

"Dude, I'm 90% sure you stole that speech from a TV show," Bob says when you finish talking. You ignore him and continue to brood alone about the futility of human existence and how magical girls are nothing more than specks of dust in an infinitely vast expanse of space.

------

"Guys, I think we lost them," Resistance Fighter #1 says as you reach a safe distance from the magical girls, “We need to decide where we go next.”

“There is a military base run by General Thundercock Ross,” Resistance Fighter #2 says, “It’s the last stronghold of humanity that hasn’t been conquered by the Mahous yet. We should go there and volunteer in the war effort. They also have nukes at the base. If worst comes to worst, we can use those and take the magical girls to hell with us.”

“There is also a chemical factory nearby that used to produce a lot of weird drugs, some not exactly legal,” Resistance Fighter #3 suggests, “Maybe we can go there and hide for now. Who knows, we might find some chemical weapons to use against the Mahous.”

“I remember reading the blog of a scientist who claimed magical girls were real many years ago and was laughed at,” Resistance Fighter #4 says, “I heard he has been in hiding ever since the invasion. Maybe he knows how to defeat the magical girls, we should try to find him.”

“I think we should escape to another country,” Resistance Fighter #5 says, “The war is going nowhere in this front, maybe things aren’t so bad in other places just yet. We might also be more useful in those other battles.”

“What if we sneaked into the headquarters of the magical girls and tried to find out their weaknesses?” Resistance Fighter #6 says, “Maybe sabotage their supplies and rescue the prisoners? I know it sounds like a suicide mission, but we can at least try!”

Where do you think we should go next?

>Go to the military base

>Hide in the chemicals factory

>Search for the scientist

>Escape to another country

>Sneak into the headquarters of the magical girls

>Walk hand in hand into extinction

>Go somewhere else [Write-in]

>>1983665
Sneak into their base

>>1983665
>Go to the military base
I hear Thundercock once ripped a Mahou Shoujo in half with his bare goddamned hands.

>>1983665
>Search for the scientist
He can be a valuable asset to the war effort. When we do find him, bring him to the base.

>>1983665
>Go somewhere else [Write-in]
>Split up in order to fulfil the above six objectives consequently, you will all meet at the military base to report your findings

>>1983665
>Go to the military base
I heard Thudercock once got ambushed by an Anthro landshark Magical girl while out on a scouting mission. It bit his arm right off but instead of screaming to alert the others he bit it right back and ripped her throat off. He then finished the mission by poisoning their tea still with a giant gushing stump where his arm used to be.

>>1983665
>>Go to the military base
I heard Thundercock once killed three Magical Girls with a spoon, Then afterwards killed another half dozen with a broken chair leg.

>>1983755
>>1984103
>>1985084
>>1985099
>>1985518
>>1986154

You decide that the best idea would be to split up in order to fulfill the six objectives consequently, but to meet up at the military base since it seems like the best option.

>Go to the military base

Resistance Fighter #1, Resistance Fighter #2, and Bob go together to check out the military base.

“The magical girls attacked the base soon after we got there,” Resistance Fighter #1 reports back, “When the soldiers tried to stop them, the magical girls used their horrific magic to turn the marines into cotton candy! And then the magical girls ate the marines, no really, that shit was pretty fucking horrifying to watch. I think I’m gonna have nightmares for the rest of my life.”

“But then General Thundercock Ross arrived just in time to save his men,” Resistance Fighter #2 says in an awe-struck voice, “He ripped a Mahou Shoujo in half with his bare goddamned hands! He then beat a Mahou Shoujo to death with another Mahou Shoujo! I have never seen anything like that. He was the manliest man I’ve ever seen! He had muscles on his muscles! He had muscles on his eyeballs!”

“I heard Thundercock once killed three Magical Girls with a spoon, then afterwards killed another half dozen with a broken chair leg,” Resistance Fighter #1 says in a spellbound voice, “I also heard Thudercock once got ambushed by an Anthro landshark Magical girl while out on a scouting mission. It bit his arm right off but instead of screaming to alert the others he bit it right back and ripped her throat off. He then finished the mission by poisoning their tea still with a giant gushing stump where his arm used to be.”

“I heard the general was once in a bar when a dozen magical girls showed up to assassinate him,” Resistance Fighter #2 continues, “He killed them all with a pencil, a fucking pencil!”

“Ross is nuts, man. I mean, like literally fucking insane,” Bob whispers to you, “He might start launching nukes anytime. He doesn’t care what happens to him as long as the Mahous are all dead.”

>Continued

>>1986506

>Hide in the chemicals factory

Resistance Fighter #3 goes to check the chemicals factory. He takes so long to return that you begin to suspect that he got captured by the Mahous. Or maybe died from marijuana overdose like he always said.

“Turns out the factory is operated by a less than ethical financial analyst looking to profit from the invasion,” Resistance Fighter #3 reports when he finally comes back to join the rest of you, “That man has betrayed the human race and now makes weird drugs for the Mahous! I found a bottle labeled ‘Magical Potion’ and brought it back. I also found some red pills and some blue pills, but not really sure what either of those do though.”

Maybe drugs are what gives Mahous their magical powers. Or maybe they are cannibals and the potions are made from magical girls. You begin to wonder what will happen if a human drinks the magical potions and the pills.

>Search for the scientist

“Dr. Hououin Kyouma gave me a toaster and said that it’s a future gadget that will help us infiltrate the Mahous,” Resistance Fighter #4 reports after checking back with the scientist, “He also showed me a microwave and told me that’s how he found out about the magical girl invasion. I’m starting to think he might not exactly be right in the head after all.”

>Continued

>>1986554

>Escape to another country

“The magical girls have taken over all of Europe.” Resistance Fighter #5 reports in a scared voice, “I received intel that the mahous have reopened old concentration camps and have started gassing anyone who is not magical. The European front is in an even worse position than we are!”

“What about the Russians?” You ask, “Even if they are communists, they are at least human communists. Maybe they can help us.”

“The last message received from the Russians were, ‘Comrades, we stopped the fascisti in Stalingrad, now we stop the mahous too!’,” Resistance Fighter #5 says in a sad voice, “There have been no new messages from Russia in weeks. I think those commies tried their best, but even that wasn’t enough to stop the eldritch abominations that are magical girls!”

“What about Japan?” You ask, slightly concerned about the fate of your homeland.

“They, uh, betrayed humanity and joined up with the Mahous,” Resistance Fighter #5 says, “Sorry, Takeshi-san.”

You sigh, not exactly surprised at the treachery of your countrymen.

>Sneak into the headquarters of the magical girls

Resistance Fighter #6 went alone to sneak into the magical girls headquarters. He hasn’t reported back. You just hope he didn’t get captured. Better to be dead than to be tortured by the Mahous.

>Walk hand in hand into extinction

“Hey Bob, you want to walk hand in hand into extinction?” You ask Bob as he checks the reports.

“No, man, that sounds gay as fuck,” Bob sighs.

“Ah, okay,” You go back to brooding alone in the corner.

-------

“Okay, so what should we do now?” Bob asks as you meet up with the surviving resistance fighters.

>Go nuclear, we are losing the war all over the world, we can at least take the Mahou Shoujo with us!

> Convince General Thundercock to pull an all-out assault on the Magical Girl HQ

>Use the potion and the pills, we don’t have anything to lose, let’s see what those things do

>Infiltrate the Magical Girl HQ to save Resistance Fighter #6, maybe take the toaster with you

>Ask another country for help, maybe things are going well in at least one battlefeild

>”I still say we kill ourselves, it’s the only logical thing to do.”

>Let’s do something else [Write-in]

>>1986618
>Convince General Thundercock to pull an all-out assault on the Magical Girl HQ
-but first.
>Let’s do something else [Write-in]
We have to find HARDENED BISHOP, the worlds best Black Ops and Anti-Magic Espionage. He's the only one who can get into their HQ and sabotage their defenses so General Thundercock and the rest of us can successfully overtake their headquarters. Last I heard he was deep in the Alaskan Wilderness, trying to sabotage Mahou Gear at American Military Base the Magical Girls took over.

>>1986656
*Black Ops Operative and Anti-Magic Espionage Expert.

>>1986618
>> Convince General Thundercock to pull an all-out assault on the Magical Girl HQ

But also take the Red Pill

>>1986618
>Let’s do something else [Write-in]
>Build a raygun to exterminate Mahous, using the toasters heat energy

New Thread: >>2001800