>Last time on a very special episode of KCQ...
>Sinchu got ganked while hanging out in the sewers with Jiraiya.
>No Jiraiya didn't gank him, it was Kabuto
>Also Orochimaru hit you with a Genjutsu, so you thought he was a bear.
>Now you're bleeding in the shitty piss waters of Konoha's sewers.
>What do?

>>2099710

> The Ambu have apparently been compromised. We should alert the Hokage to this fact. We should also offload any information we have gathered about the impending attack on Konoha, and Orochimaru's recruitment of the Not!MortalKombat mercenaries

>>2099710
Laugh a little bit at the thought of shoving Kabuto's face in sewage, make sure nobody's dying, then grab the genin's body and go off to warn the Third/any ninja we trust and run into along the way what's happening. Maybe ride Nerscy or just get her to tie the corpse to her back.
We need to teach her how to flash step. Or whatever it's called. Imagine what a 12 foot tall spider going hundreds of miles an hour would do to someone when she hit them.

>>2099710
>Go to the hokage to let him know everything we've learned here, then go to the medics to be properly cared for after this shit.

>>2099710

Time to tell the Third shit's pretty bad man

>>2099726
Shunshin. And yes that'd be cool

Alright looks like alerting the Third is a win.

Writing.

>Yesterday's Moon in a nutshell
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcwfEMdV-aM

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>You are Sinchu
>And holy shit that's a lot of blood.

"Hnnng. Okay, so," You climb on top of Nerscy's back, thankful that she's softened the hard hairs on her body for you and, and collapse into a bloody mess. "Jiraiya, I take it you got a teleportation scroll to get us to the Third?"

Jiraiya hops up as well, sitting on Nerscy's head as he digs through his bag. "Yeah, well it'll take us to his office at least. Guessin' you're thinkin' the same thing I am and wantin' to tell him what's going on here." He pulls out a rather strange looking scroll, with a picture of a monkey giving the peace symbol on it. "Sure ya' wouldn't rather go get checked up by the medics first?"

You shake your head. "Nah, he needs to know about this shit asap, plus I ain't sure who can be trusted and who can't be at this point."

Jiraiya nods, unrolling the scroll. "Right. Well hang on you two." Jiraiya bites his thumb, wiping it across the scroll, and through some sort of ninja magic that you don't quite understand but don't really question, you're now inside the Third's office....

...which apparently wasn't designed for giant, twelve foot tall spiders and their handsome companions. "Sinchu, Jiraiya, Nerscy." The Third says, unfazed as he blinks at the three of you, Iruka freaking out in front of his desk. Oh hey, the Third knows Nerscy's name, cool. "I take it there's a reason you're all here, covering my carpet with sewage?"

"Orochimaru's-OH SHIT." You fall off Nerscy, landing hard on the fl-Actually the carpet's pretty plush here. Damn, Hokage's got pretty swanky digs not that you're noticing them. Shame it took being ganked for this revelation to come upon you. "Orochimaru, we know what he's planning."

You sit up, the Third already by your side and helping you as you and Jiraiya tell him everything, and by proxy Iruka as well. You use your super cool telepathy you have with Nerscy to tell her to keep her many eyes on the teacher...oh wait no, you can't do that. How much blood have you lost?

"...and that's about it in a nutshell." You say, watching as the Third fixing you up with a set of bandages. Weird, you never knew he could do medic stuff, but then again when your'e that old you can probably do just about everything. "Anbu's compromised, and Orochimaru's bringin' a whole shit ton of mercenaries that are after my cousin for revenge." You repeat, feeling dizzy.

"Understood. I want to thank the two of you for the hard work you've done, we'll start making preparations immediately. Sinchu, you need to head to the hospital. Iruka here can escort you, and I'll send some of my most trusted Anbu along in secret."

>What do?

>>2099829

> "Understood Sr."

> Try to avoid passing out from bloodloss

>>2099829
Create an iron clone of Sinchu and Iruka to walk to the hospital while the real Sinchu and Iruka follow disguised as hot babes. Than if the Anbu are dirty and try anything with the iron clones, proceed to kick them in their dicks and arrest them.

>>2099844

This is a way more interesting plan than what I suggested. Swapping my vote to support it...

>>2099829
>>2099844
I'll back this. We might also want to send word to the Clan that we're not dead or dying.

Right on, disguising yourselves as hot babes.

1d100
DC 70 to convince Iruka since he's a bit of a stick in the mud.
And you're both kind of rivals as Naruto's cool older dude who he looks up to.

Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>2099870

Rolling...

Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>2099870

Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>2099870

Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>2099870
>Hiruzeeennn, Iruka's gonna get us killeeeed. Make him stooopppp.

>>2099889
Goddamn. Impressive showing anon.

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>2099870

>>2099897
Sinchu is sundely taking things seriously. To bad that he needed to be ganked bu Orochimaru and his goon to start doing that.

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"Right on." You turn to Nerscy, who's busily wiping off the shitty piss water on her body. "Nerscy, go and head on home and get cleaned up, but be ready to get summoned back at a moments notice. Might be some assholes I need kicking soon."

"R-Right!" She says, saluting you before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

You turn to lock eyes with Iruka, the two of you staring at each other for a moment before he lets you lean on him and walk outside of the Hokage's office. Iruka is...an odd person in your life. You both get along reasonably well, you both enjoy the fine tastes of ramen, and you're relatively close to each other in age. There's just one, tiny little area where you two disagree with each other a bit.

Naruto.

"I heard you've been teaching Naruto how to walk on water so he can spy on the bath houses more easily." Iruka says, frowning a bit.

"Hey, that's...not completely true. I taught him that shit so that he could harness his chakra better. The peepin' just happened to be an added benefit." Shit, what are people saying about you now? "Anyways, kid's a goddamn natural at bein' a ninja. He'd have figured it out on his own eventually." Well, at least that brings a smile to Iruka's face. "Okay now, hold still, we gotta' turn into hot babes."

"WHAT?!"

"Dude, don't shout so loud, jeez." You stand up a bit straighter. "See, the Third might trust the Anbu he's sending, but I'm not so sure. So, we turn ourselves into hot babes, with boobs that aren't too big ya' know, and then I'll throw up some Iron Clones of our normal selves. Then, if those Anbu are actually evil, they'll attack them instead of us, ya' dig?"

"...that's both stupid and somehow it makes sense all at the same time." Iruke sighs. "Do I at least get to choose what I look like?"

"No." That's a complete lie, but it's funner this way. "Sinchu Style: Hot Babes Jutsu!" You and Iruka disappear in a puff of smoke, and in your place are a pair of hot, busty babes in slightly revealing attire. You're obviously the hotter one, but you guess there's some weirdos out there who might find Iruka sexier. Probably scat fetishists or something. You then pop up two Iron Clones of you and Iruka, and begin to head your way to the hospital.

"So." You say, leaning on Iruka as you follow your clones. Some dudes on the street whistle at you, and you shoot them some finger guns, much to their confusion. "You uh, given Naruto the talk yet?"

Iruka frowns, which in his hot babe form looks weird. Like, you don't find that sexy at all. Nope. Nuh-uh. "I uh, haven't gotten around to it yet. And thankfully he hasn't brought it up either."

Shit. "Well I don't wanna' be the one to tell him how to fuck people man, that shit's supposed to be for his dad to do...but ya' know, his dad's dead and shit."

Iruka frowns again. Nope, not sexy at all. "Well, one of us has to tell him, otherwise he'll just learn it from somebody else. Like that Jiraiya fellow."

Hmmm
>What do?

>>2099968
>We could play rock paper scissors for it.
>Or try to con Kakashi into doing it.

>>2099988
The loser has to give the talk, btw. Probably should have said that in the first place.

>>2099993
>Not wanting to be the one to give Naruto the talk.
Shame.

>>2099998
>You put your peepee in, you pull your peepee out. You put your peepee in and wiggle it all about.
Also who in their right mind would let Sinchu give anyone the talk.

>>2099968

> "Eh, how about this: I'll handle the 'birds and the bees' talk, but you have got to deal with the 'my body is going through weird changes' talk. Fair?"

>>2100013
I'll second this.

>>2099968
>"Hey man, you're the teacher."

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Btw this is what you look like.

>>2099968
We might have to, the way the Hyuuga princess stares at him makes me think we need the talk or he will miss a great chance.

>>2100037
Why do they look like guys in drag? I thought this was the hot babes jutsu.

>>2100013
supporting this

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>>2100037
10/10. 100/100. Best waifu, best waifu!

>>2100013
Right on, this wins.

Also if ya'll would kindly roll me 1d5, taking third roll. Let's see who runs into you.

>1. Anko
>2. InoShikaCho
>3. Temari
>4. Ibiki
>5 Kakashi
>>2100049
Fool, those are some hot babes, what you talkin' about?

Rolled 1 (1d5)

>>2100066

Rolled 5 (1d5)

>>2100066
How can they be hot babes, they don't even have poofy 80s anime hair.

Rolled 5 (1d5)

>>2100066

Rolled 1 (1d5)

>>2100066

Rolled 3 (1d5)

>>2100066

Rolling...

>>2100075
....oh god you're right.

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Rolled 5 (1d5)

>>2100066
>Anko
Oh shit.

>>2100076
That's even worse.

Writing. This should be fun.

>>2100076
So like the one guy that'll see through our anbu level jutsu, fuck. No you know what, fuck him, he's naruto's sensei so he has to help us with the talk too. It's only fair.

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"Tell ya' what, how about I handle the birds and the bee's and you can handle the part where he asks you about how much his body is changing, and how he's getting hair in strange places."

"...I'm not sure if that's better or worse." Iruka says, face turning pale a bit. "Ugh, now I just thought of Naruto finding out about condoms."

You grin. "Little dude's probably used them without realizing it, probably filled'em up with water and tossed them at some random people before."

Iruka laughs. "Yeah, that sounds like him." There's silence for a bit. "I really hope nobody we know sees us like this."

You snort. "Relax man, this jutsu is fool proof, you'd have to be like, one of the top shinobi in the Village to see through it." The two of you round a corner, coming face to face with Kakashi.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=We60ZX5C99I

"AW SHIT!" You think to yourself as you and Iruka stop, watching as Kakashi stares at the two of you in confusion. Of all the fuckin' people to run into right now. You sigh. "Sup Kakashi." You say, pointing some finger guns at him. Iruka shakes his head beside you.

Kakshi...blushes? "Oh, uh, sorry about this but have we met before?" Wait, what? Holy shit is this working? Are you actually turning Kakashi on? That's fuckin' gross, but it's hilarious at the same time because he doesn't know you've got a penis!

Beside you Iruka is shocked, mouth gaping and all.

>How you wanna' handle this?

>>2100106
>Implying that lazy cyclops fuck wouldn't just give him a copy of Icha Icha Paradise and walk away.

>>2100121
Let's lure him into a back alley, only to transform back at the worst possible moment and destroy all his hopes and dreams. And laugh at him for the rest of his life.

>>2100121
>"No but who hasn't heard of you?"

>>2100121

> Kakashi won't be able to see through your jutsu if all of his blood is rushing to his crotch. Time to steal cyclops-ninja's heart with some smooth moves

>>2100141
>worst
Meant best.

>>2100121
Turn Kakashi into a hot babe, make him come with us.

>>2100121
Find a way to record this as blackmail material for a future favor.

>>2100121
Act shocked and hurt that he doesn't remember us, then walk away. Subtle trolling is best trolling.

I'm gonna' leave this vote open another five minutes while I fix a sandwich.

>>2100168
this, bonus points for pretending to cry as welll

>>2100157
This is the best idea. Dude is Naruto's teacher, there's no way he's in with pedosnek, and he's one of the most powerful ninja in the village. Recruit him to help watch for bad shit going down.

>>2100168
Support

>>2100157
>>2100200

Swapping support to this...

Okay then, now it's three hot babes.

Writing.

>>2100227
>No rolls needed to convince Kakashi to get into magical ninja drag

Neat.

>>2100249
Or it just isn't possible to convince him.

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Hmmm, well if there's one other dude you know you can trust in this Village, it's Kakashi. Dude's little Nart's teacher after all. Still, wouldn't hurt to have a little fun here. You lean in a bit, pouting your lips as tears begin to well up in your eyes. "Y-you really don't remember me Kakashi? Not even the passion filled night we spent together all those years ago?"

"Uhhhhh." You can see the cogs in Kakashi's brain start to work into overtime as he tries to figure out if you're lying, or if he really did have a one night stand with some chick.

Oh well, questions for another time. "Sinchu Style: Hot Babe Jutsu!" You quickly turn Kakashi into a hot babe, with big ass pig tails and all. You're still the hottest one though. "Hey Kakashi it's me, Sinchu! And...now he's throwing up a little. "Well fuck you too. Anyways me and Iruka here, oh yeah the other hot babe is Iruka, we're makin' our way to the hospital."

"Why?" Kakashi asks, pulling his face mask back up. Wow, Kakashi's face...meh.

You open up your shirt a bit, revealing the already blood stained bandages the Third had put on you. "Got ganked down in the sewers by one of Orochimaru's goons. Gonna' need to get patched up. Not sure who I can trust, so me and Iruka are in disguise, and now you are too!"

Kakashi...shrugs and whips out his worn copy of Icha Icha Paradise. Goddamn guy doesn't even know how to take care of the classics. He moves in step with you and Iruka. "Alright, not like I've got anything else to do right now."

Awesome, just three hot babes, out on a stroll. You're the hottest of the three, obviously, so it's more like one hot babe and her two fugly friends. Yeah.

What could go wrong?

>Roll me 1d5. Taking Fifth roll.
>1. Guy
>2. Asuma
>3. Konohamaru
>4. Rasa(Gaara's dad)
>5. Tsume

>>2100249

>Inb4 Guy starts hitting on drag Kakashi

Rolled 1 (1d5)

>>2100277

>Rasa

Well that would be fun

Rolled 5 (1d5)

>>2100277

Rolled 5 (1d5)

>>2100277

Rolled 2 (1d5)

>>2100277

Rolling...

Rolled 4 (1d5)

>>2100277

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>>2100227
Uh..sexy no jutsu Kakashi.

>>2100299

> Raza

Oh...

Oh dear...

>>2100299

Anon, thanks for the fun times that are about to come

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>>2100299
AHAHAHA YES!

>>2100302
Is it gay to be attracted to someone if they use illusions to make themselves look like a girl?

>>2100299
nice

Okay, uh, wow.

1d100
DC 88
>>2100311
Nah.

>>2100311

It is if you know that they're using illusions to disguise themselves as a woman...

Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>2100322

>>2100311
Nah.
Unless you remain attracted after ypu know.

Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>2100322
Every group of sluts needs a redhead milf. Sexy him up!

Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>2100322

Rolling...

Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>2100322

Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>2100322

>>2100327
>>2100331
Two eights! That counts, right? Right?

Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>2100322

>>2100333
That clutch man.

Writing.

>>2100333
neat

>>2100295
Tsume is about to smell us out.
Ah!

>>2100311
Only if you keep being attracted to him/her when you discover it's a illusion.

I was hoping to rope Guy into this as well.
Oh well, time to make Rasa appreciate the natural beauty of Konoha more.

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>>2100333
>>2100340
Oh god please let Rasa get attracted by Sinchu.

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"Hey Kakashi, you haven't told Naruto how to start fuckin' people yet have you?" You ask, causing the Jonin to look at you like you're crazy. "Me and Iruka were just wonderin' who's gonna' have to give the kid the talk is all, and if you've already done that-"

"No." Kakashi says, shaking his head. "I haven't told Naruto anything like that. At all. Nor do I plan to. You two can have that...honor."

"Yeah I'm just asking, because I heard like, the first day of training him you shoved your fingers up his ass."

"HE DID WHAT?!" Iruka shouts, turning to glare at Kakashi. "Are you still doing that Thousand Years of Pain bull crap?!"

Well, while they're arguing you can at least take the time to admire how fuckin' awesome your fake tits are. "Heheh, bouncy bouncy." As you're messing with your melons you accidentally bump into someone, and looking forward you can see it's...the Kazekage. Ooops. You blink, and he frowns at the three of you. So you point him some finger guns. "Sup?"

"...no." Rasa moves around you, and you notice the bags of groceries he's carrying too. Huh, you didn't realize that people from the Sand...shopped? You just assumed they killed random people for substance. "Whatever this is, I want no part of it." He says, only stopping momentarily to stare and blush at Iruka's sexy babe form. The fuck? How is he not turned on by you? You're the hottest!

>What do?

>>2100364
So, what would be the DC be to convince Iruka to prostitute himself out to Rasa to gain intel?

But beyond that, pinch or slap ourself to focus, since the blood loss is getting to us.

>>2100364
probably best to get away from him as fast as possible, we don't know if he can be trusted, plus starting an international incident is always bad.

>>2100387
>So, what would be the DC be
Scratch that first be.

>>2100364
Keep going we are supposed to go to the hospital.

>>2100388

Support...

>>2100364

>"Alright then, have a good one Mr. Sandman."

And time to keep a goin

Alright, takin' a short break, like twenty minutes, while I eat.

Heading to the hospital wins though.

>>2100410
yea this

"Dude, I think the Kazekage wants to fuck Iruka." You say, giggling as the Academy teacher frowns and blushes at you. "Be careful Iruka, sand crotch is a very serious thing." You dodge some swipes from him, the three of you continuing on your way to the hospital.

"You lead a very interesting life Sinchu." Kakashi says, eye still trained on his book. "I can see why Naruto talks about you a lot." He pauses, looking over at Iruka. "He talks about you two Iruka."

"Yeah but he talks about me more right?" You ask, shoving Iruka aside to grin. "Don't know how many times I've challenged that kid to a ramen eating contest and lost. Little fucker's got two stomachs or something."

"Well, I've given him plenty of important talks at Ichiraku's." Iruka says, shoving you aside. "Not to mention I was the one who taught him all the basics."

You shove Iruka aside again. "Yeah but I'm the one who taught him all the cool shit."

Kakashi sighs. "You both have done admirable jobs teaching Naruto." He pauses. "But I taught him to walk up trees."

"I taught him to walk on water." You shoot back. The three of you begin bickering again, arguing with one another as you head to the hospital to get your ganked ass patched up.

>Hey now, let's see what Hiki's doing.
>He was going to go get his team, who's he getting first.
>Ko or Sasu and Kori?

>>2100459
>you two Iruka
He'll always be second.

Wait, isn't Hiki supposed to be watching Team Sinchu?

>>2100474
He was.

>>2100459
>who's he getting first.
Horn Driller

>>2100459

> Ko

Sasu and Kori would be easier to deal with, but having them around while we tried to talk to Ko is what screwed everything up last time...

> "Dealing with people sure is complicated."

>>2100477
Can we have that as an omake?

>>2100477
I'm surprised you didn't make something go wrong for us while he was. That's nice.

>>2100459
Let's go get Kori, and tell her to go get Sasu and take him to whatever meetup point we have. Then we can go get Ko and lure him in without suspecting anything.

Rolled 3 (1d3)

>>2100459

Hmmm, I'll let the dice decide.

1. Ko the Jobber
2. Sasu the sour asshole
3. Kori the pretty alright girl

>>2100459
Sasu and Kori then we go together to pestter Kon.

>>2100459
>Sasu, we're not sure what we did but clearly we need to make up for it

>>2100489
Sure.

>>2100498
Can we have Hiki teaming up with Horn Driller?

Alright, Kori and Sasu first it is. Writing.

>>2100515
Horn Driller might be willing to take on a pupil.

>>2100518
Awesome. Let's do it.

>>2100498
Uhull!

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>You are Hiki
>And the Eis residence is a very strange place.

"Kami! Get down off of the ceiling fan!" Mister Eis says, pulling one of his many children down from the whirling blades of doom as you sit at the small living room table, sipping on the green tea you had been offered when you came in. "Apologies for the mess Hiki, but when you've got 9 kids things start to get a bit messy."

"Daaaad! There's ten of us!" The kids shout, giggling as they run around the room, some of them riding in Bebikau's cardboard train. It seems to have had another rocket drawn on it since you were last here, no doubt for more speed.

"Right right, ten....don't tell your mother I forgot that."

"She already heard." Miss Eis says, walking into the room with a huge pot of...something. It smells like stew. She sits it down on the small table, it buckling underneath the weight of it all, before she starts serving her many children. "Hiki sweetie, you want a bowl?"

You shake you head. "No ma'am, I'm on a strict eating regime right now for the upcoming tournament. Mostly nuts and milk."

"Jeez, I bet that passes right through ya'." Mister Eis says, earning giggles from his kids.

"Hiki poops Hiki poops!" They start singing. They all get a whack on the head from their mom for it.

You hear footsteps coming down the stairs, and Kori finally pops into the room, looking a little messed up as her hair's still wet from the shower. "Mmmkay Hiki let's go!" She shouts, running by you and picking you up as she does.

"HEY!" Her mom shouts, stopping her in her tracks. "Aren't you forgetting something little lady?"

"Oh right!" Kori runs back, and kisses her mom, her dad, and her many brothers and sisters on the cheeks. "By guys!"

"Bye Kori!" They all shout, waving as they do. In the background you can see the Bebikau train taking off for orbital travel. Strange place.

Once outside you and Kori begin jumping from rooftop to rooftop, heading for Sasu's Clan Compound. Kori is chewing on a piece of toast she managed to grab beforehand. "So, you think this idea will get Ko Sensei to change his mind about quitting?"

"I hope so. If anything it ought to show him that we need his guidance." You say, jumping to the next rooftop.

Kori is silent for a moment, then looks at you with worry. "Do you think you got enough time to learn how to fight without sight though? The Tournament's in two weeks."

>How do you respond?

>>2100588
I won't know until I try

>>2100588
>There are a lot of hours in two weeks. The only time I need to sleep is for a couple days before the tournament, to be in top shape.

>>2100603

Support...

>>2100588

>"Never know until you try."

>>2100603
Jesus.

>>2100588
>I genuinely believe I will be ready if I have my team to help me prepare.
Also
>You have a nice family, I'd like for you and Sasu to come to dinner in my home and meet mine sometime as well.

>>2100611
I'd argue against that logic if it wasn't hiki we were talking about...

>>2100603
Support

>>2100588
With you Ko sensei and Sasu helping? Heck yeah i'm sure. Sasu's family has the perfect style and he is very dedicated to it. Ko sensei is a Hyuuga if there is someone thay can give points to fight mutiple adversaries is him. And i have you to help out with your water clones and ninjutsu so i can manage to dodge it while blind. Besides if i don't manage to do it Agon will surely kill me so i guess i have a great incentive to try my hard at it.

Also say something about that we are doing this to keep our team together.

>>2100611
It's Hiki boy has so.much Stamina and chakra that he hardly needs to sleep.>>2100618

>>2100603
Yeah this wins.

Good lord. I'm not worried about Hiki getting tired, I'm more worried if his teammates will survive. Writing.

>>2100638
It's fine, theres three of them, they can rest in shifts or something

>>2100638
They will get stronger after this. And will train their dodge capabilities since one Hiki punch is all your bones are broken now.

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"There's three-hundred-thirty-six hours in two weeks Kori, I'd really only need to sleep for about one-fourth of that time in order to not suffer any bodily harm to myself. That means I'd have 252 hours to train myself. Plenty of time."

"...oh. Yeah." She says, sounding a bit worried. "Uh, Hiki, you know other people have trouble staying up that long, right?"

"That's why there's three of you helping me though, so you can take turns sleeping." You say, as if that wasn't obvious. You and Kori make it to the Kou compound, which is near the Akimichi Clan compound. You both land inside it, the many people practicing their sword skills stopping to look at you before noticing who you are. You wave. "Hello. We're here for Sasu."

"Somebody finally decided to kidnap Sasu?" One of them asks, getting a laugh from the others. "Little twerp's in the back of the compound, playin' with his sword again." More laughs, as Kori blushes at that. Hmm, does swordplay make her feel awkward? You never knew this.

You and Kori head to the back, where you see Sasu practicing with his bokken, slamming it against an old, giant tree. The sides of the tree are worn down, as if it's been used for practice for many years. Sasu's dad is there as well, and he holds a finger to his lips, indicating that he wants you all to stay quiet before turning back to his son. "Keep up the swings Sasu, and don't complain about being tired, your grandfather does this a thousand times a day."

"Yeah yeah." Sasu says, frowning as he smacks the sword against the tree over and over again. "I'm still pissed off at you fuckers ya' know."

Sasu's dad grins, turning to look at you two as he talks to his son, who still hasn't noticed you. "And why, dear precious son ,would you be mad?"

Sasu lets out a loud snort. "Uh, because you lied to me! I finally tell ya' I'm gonna' start usin' my jackin' off hand for sword play, and you do what?" Sasu changes his voice so that it sounds like his fathers a bit. "Oh yeah Sasu, we were just fuckin' with you this whole time. We figured if we told you that nobody uses their jack off hand to use Kenjutsu, you'd get better with both. We honestly didn't think you'd keep believing us this long." He frowns. "Fuckin' assholes."

>What do?

>>2100692
"Why would they want you to get better at jacking off with both hands, though?"

>>2100692
Uh "Glad Taka's advice was right then...he will definetly be happy to hear about it."

>>2100692
You should channel that anger into something instead of just yelling
Sasu I'm not entirely sure what I did to upset you but I'm sorry and I need your help

>>2100725

Support...

>>2100692
>Jack off hand? What are you jacking?

>>2100692
grab him, scream something about needing help training and then head off to find ko

>>2100692
What does 'jackin' off ' even mean? And why would you need your hand to do it?

>>2100733

Mhm. Swapping my vote to this...

Utter confusion on Hiki's part wins.

Writing.

>>2100751
I wonder for how long Hiki will still be pure. Hopefully Anko will have popped his cherry by the time we reach shippuden.

>>2100773
Omake of everyone in the village arguing how to explain sex and puberty to Hiki when?

"Jack off hand?" You say, getting Sasu's attention suddenly, the boy looking redder than a can of tomato juice. "What are you jacking off? And why do you need both hands to do it?"

Kenji, Sasu's father, stares at you for a long moment before tilting his head. "You're...you're joking right?"

Sasu sighs. "No dad, he's not. If it ain't got nothing to do with training, Hiki's pretty dumb about most stuff."

Hmmph. "I am not dumb, I just...don't care to know about that other stuff." As if there's anything more interesting than training one's body and mind to perfection.

"Whatever." Sasu says, walking over to you and Kori. "...Kori how much of that did you hear?" She stays silent, causing Sasu to blush some more. "Dammit. Alright Hiki what do ya' want?"

"I'm still going to be fighting in the next part of the tournament." You say, surprising him. "I'll be fighting Agon though. Turns out he's more than capable of being a Chunin as well, his whole reason being here was to make fools of the other Leaf Genin." You let him digest that. "So, the Third decided that he and I will have an exhibition match of sorts, showing off our skills. The thing is, Agon's using a GenNinjutsu that requires the user to be looking at him in order for it to work, and I need to learn how to fight with my eyes closed."

"...which is why you need me and Kori to help." Sasu says, nodding his head. He then looks at you. "You know, Sensei Ko's pretty good at blind fighting too."

You grin. "Yes, that's why we're going to go and get him too next."

Sasu blinks, looking at you and then at the grinning Kori. Then it dawns on him. "We're gonna' try and convince Ko not to quit, aren't we?" You nod. "Well shit what are we waiting for!"

The three of you leave the Compound, heading out to find Ko Sensei. "So uh," Kori starts, sounding unsure. "Does anybody know where Ko Sensei goes on his days off?"

Uh.

>Well, where ya' gonna' go look?

>>2100791
"Taka has been hanging out with Hanabi, maybe they would know."

>>2100791
Being direct has worked so far. Ask around the Hyuga compound

>>2100791
He's either at that bar in the red light district Shinchu is banned from, or at the Aburame compound.
Naturally, we should check the Red Light District first.

>>2100791
>I heard Sinchu ranting about seeing him at a "Strip Club" a while ago. Maybe he's there? Though I wonder what they could be stripping there.

Taka should've told Hiki he knows Hiashi. Let's go ask him to help us get Hiashi to tell us where Ko's at.

>Captcha Pepsi Robin
That's it! He's off killing birds! I knew he was only pretending to not be a typical dirty Hyuga all along!

>>2100791

> He'll probably be watching over (doting on) Hinata. So we should start our search at the Hyuuga compound."

>>2100791
>"Sinchu mentioned something about Ko seeing that 'Aburame floozie', maybe we could ask around there?"

>>2100791
Hyuuga compound. Maybe he's were Hinata is? Oh better yet let's ask Taka he's always around with hinata's sister she might know about Ko.

He also has a Aburame girlfriend i think...

Alright then, let's make things easier here.

>Hyuga Compound.
>Aburamae Compound

Pick one.

>>2100836
>Hyuga Compound.

>>2100836
>Hyuga Compound.

>>2100836
>>Hyuga Compound.

>>2100836

> Hyuuga Compound.

>>2100836
>>Aburamae Compound

>>2100828
And apparently she's Shino's cousin. But i don't think Hiki knows that it's the same person.

>>2100836
>Hyuga Compound.
Haven't seen Taka in a bit, maybe he's playing Ninja Go with Hanabi. In any case, she'd be able to find him easier.

Rolled 2 (1d2)

Hyuga Compound it is!

Let's see....
I'm gonna' roll a 1d2, to determine if he's there or not.
At the same time, ya'll roll me a 1d3 to see who else is there.
>1. Hiashi
>2. Elder Hyuga
>3. Neji.

>>2100836
>Aburamae Compound

>>2100854
Oh right, taking third roll.

Rolled 1 (1d3)

>>2100854

Rolled 3 (1d3)

>>2100854

Rolled 2 (1d3)

>>2100854

Rolled 1 (1d3)

>>2100854

Rolled 1 (1d3)

>>2100854

Rolling...

>>2100864
Oooooh.

This is...this is kinda' worst case scenario right now.

Taking a half hour break. be back then.

>>2100854
Fuck dammit! Of all the possible choices this is the worst!

>>2100872
If we punch him hard enough, there won't be any evidence left he died.

>>2100872
He's about to tell about Sinchu uncle thay slauthered all those Hyuuga isn't he?

So long he doesn't say anything about Hiki's parents...

>>2100884
>He's about to tell about Sinchu uncle thay slauthered all those Hyuuga isn't he?
Can uh, can you say that again please?

>>2100878
If he mention Hiki's parents i don't think there will be much left.

>>2100889
Intead of uncle i should have said dad. Sinchu dad, Susumu's brother, failed the iron box test and went into bloodlust killing lots of Hyuugas.

That was one of the major events that caused the bad blood between the Hyuuga and the Tetsu.

>>2100791

>"Hiki's pretty dumb about most stuff."

Oh fuck off Sasu you useless cunt

>>2100909
I wonder is sasu will will be able to figure out ninja shikai before shippuden time skip. Bankai definitely not till shippuden, that's for sure. We're still making his clan ninja bleach jutsu wise, right?

>>2100929

I'm guessing, but I really just find him to be an asshole. There was a time that I didn't mind Ko, Kori was always fine with me, Sasu? Sasu is nothing but an envious little cockmite who can't back up what he says and decides to shit on Hiki because MUH ENVY

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12 KB JPG

>>2100941
So he's basically ninja swordsman Junpei?

>>2100950

>Implying the semi-sentient dumpster fire stuffed in human skin is like good boi Junpei

Shame on you for even thinking, much less saying it anon

>>2100941
I still wanna know if he and Kori did the do. I mean, they act awkward whenever sex or related things are brought up, and it's always in relation to each other.
If so... Kori has some low standards there.

File: Spoiler Image (289 KB, 608x451)

289 KB PNG

>>2100588
>some of them riding in Bebikau's cardboard train. It seems to have had another rocket drawn on it since you were last here, no doubt for more speed.

>>2100961

Anon...THEY'RE 12

>>2100982
And they're being very dodgy about it. SOMETHING happened there. I'm not saying I WANT it to happen, I'm just saying I knew kids in 6th grade who did stuff like this.

>>2100999
Maybe they just holded hands or gave each other headpats while they were in the forest.

>>2100999
Anon, they're 12, they'd feel awkward from a kiss. I'm pretty sure Moon didn't, or is ever going to, imply two 12 year olds had sex.

Alright, writing.

"No better place to look for a Hyuga than at the Hyuga Compound." You say, the three of you no diverting your course and heading straight there.

"So be honest," Sasu says, picking his nose and flickin' whatever he found off his finger. "How tough is this Agon guy compared to you?"

Hmm, that's a good question. "He's skilled, and his jutsu puts a damper on my usual way of attacking."

"You mean running up and punching them?" Sasu jokes.

"Yes that." You say, causing him to frown. "However I believe that, with you two and Ko Sensei teaching me, I should be able to figure out a way to fight without using my sight."

"You know blind fighting takes years of practice to get down, right?" Sasu says. "I mean, you're a freak when it comes to training, but still, two weeks ain't a lot of time to be figuring this out."

"I'll manage." You say, as the three of you land outside of the Hyuga Compound's gates. Instead of jumping right in like you did with Sasu's, you figure it's smarter to take a more polite approach. The Tetsu and the Hyuga aren't exactly on good terms after all. You walk up to the guards. "Hello, I'm looking for Ko, we're his students."

The guards, both Hyuga frown a bit at you, before shrugging. "He's inside. You can enter, but make sure you don't touch anything."

"Bad enough lady Hanabi's hanging around one of 'em so much." The other mumbles, and you're not quite sure if that was meant to be heard by you or not.

You frown, but go inside nonetheless. It's not like you haven't heard some cruel things about the Hyuga from your own Clan, but still. Once inside you spot Ko Sensei right away, and he seems to be training with the Elder Hyuga. "More force Ko, otherwise you're just slapping at your opponent." He says, parrying attacks that Ko sends his way.

"Yes Elder." Ko responds, increasing the force of his attacks. The Elder Hyuga spots the three of you, frowning at you in particular, but doesn't stop his training with Ko.

>What do?

>>2101081

> Greet the Elder Hyuuga and Ko

>>2101081
>stare at the elder in silence, making everyone uncomfortable, and wait for him to address you

>>2101081
>Approach and wait untill he ends the trainning. Stay there as a statue


Also tell Kori and Sasu to stay silent. It might not have been a good idea to come here after all..

File: Io.png (4.61 MB, 2000x3650)

4.61 MB PNG

>>2100950
He's totally Junpei. Guess who Kori is?Mitsuru, duh

>>2101104
>>2101109

Actually, this seems more Hiki-ish...

Swapping support...

>>2101081
Ko is hyuga, he can see us.

lets just wait till he acknowledges us

Oh, you wanna' out stare a Hyuga Elder huh?

1d100+2
DC 90.

Let's see that creepy stare in action.

>>2101104
>>2101109
These are great.

Rolled 35 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>2101122

Rolled 14 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>2101122

Rolled 34 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>2101122
SPERG SIGHT ACTIVATED!

Rolled 21 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>2101122

Rolled 16 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>2101122

Rolling...

Rolled 67 + 2 (1d100 + 2)

>>2101122

Wow. Something the Hiki Sperk couldn't beat.

Writing.

>>2101120
ko switches byakugan on and off during different parts of his training.

one second just him and the elder, next three children materialise behind him.

i never really thought about how unnerving the byakugan must be to see through. imagine being stuck with it always on.

>these rolls
yep, he's pissed

>>2101127
>>2101128
>>2101129
>>2101130
>>2101132
How even.

Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>2101122
Giii~

>>2101135
why would elder hyuga be upset by children being polite and waiting for their betters to finish?

>>2101148
Because you're a filthy Tetsu that's why.

>>2101149
Better than being an old man.

>>2101135
The Hyuuga Elder can't be swayed by Hiki's autism because he's as autistic as Hiki, but can hide his power level really well.

>>2101149
true, we are a filthy iron blooded traitorous kin slayer just waiting to happen, but at least we have the good manners to remain silent and die early

>>2101148

Because some anons won't stop the autism and let Hiki act like a goddamn human being

File: d43.jpg (17 KB, 250x360)

17 KB JPG

>>2101164
We are a real human being

>>2101164
... theres a pre shippuden time skip. and autism is by no means uncommon in this village

File: You don't wanna' know wha(...).png (60 KB, 250x267)

60 KB PNG

You step forward a bit, staring directly at the Elder Hyuga as he continues to train Ko. The old man stares right back at you, parrying Ko's attacks with ease as the two of you lock into a sort of stare off. Ko's Byakugan must be off, because he hasn't said anything to the three of you yet.

You continue to stare at the Elder Hyuga, and he stares right back, his own eyes seeming to pierce your very soul, like he's reading you like an open book. You can feel yourself start to shake a bit, something that normally doesn't happen. When you stare at people, they usually look away, but with the Elder Hyuga, he's giving as good as he can get.

Finally you can take no more and blink, looking away as you hear a chuckle come from the Elder Hyuga's mouth. "Not so easy, am I boy." You hear him say.

"Hmmm?" Ko stops his attacks, turning around to see you and the others standing there. "Oh, uh, hello. How long hav-"

"Ko!" The Elder Hyuga smacks your Sensei upside the head. "Pay attention to your training. You've already decided to give up teaching these children. A wise decision, especially after you lost so easily to that Tetsu boy." You can practically taste the anger coming off of his voice as he glares at you. "And you three, I don't know what you're looking for, but there's nothing here for you. Begone."

"I need Ko Sensei's help." You say, frowning back at the Elder Hyuga. Ko blinks in surprise. "Sir, the Genin Agon from the Clouds is apparently also a highly skilled shinobi, he's been made a Chunin along with me. As such the Third has decided to set up an exhibition match between us. I need yours and the teams help in order to fight him, as his jutsu requires me to fight blindly so that it does not affect me." That was a mouthful.

Before Ko can answer the Elder Hyuga steps forward, tapping his cane to the ground. "Did you not hear me boy? I said begone."

"Elder, while I did say that I would give up being their teacher, that process hasn't really begun yet. It's still my duty to help them if they need it." Ko says, firmly as the Elder Hyuga turns around to glare.

The old man is silently fuming for a bit, obviously not liking that so many young people are disobeying him at once. Then a small smile cracks his lips. "Fine, you wish to train the boy again? I won't argue, but only after he's humored me." He turns to you. "Words spreads very quickly in this Village, and many already know how you beat Ko here on your own. Even if I know he wasn't being serious, others don't. So then, in order to save face in this Village, and to keep up the Hyuga Clan's appearance of domination, you and I are going to have a little spar."

"Elde-" Ko starts, then gets smacked in the face.

"Quiet! You want to train the boy, this is the only way it's happening." He turns back to you. "Well? Are you up to the challenge? Or are you as weak willed as your father was?"

>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEwhatdo?EEEEEEEEEEEE~

>>2101179
Naruto has the Goku sickness variety, Sauce thinks he has to be as edgy as possible to survive, Lee is a funky positive sort of autistic, Hinata can barely function when evem the slightest pressure is applied, Neji thinks hating his family makes being a tool acceptable, and Gaara is Gaara.

>>2101190
>I doubt you knew my father well enough to say that, but I doubt my will is as weak as your body, old man.

>>2101199
Wooow, that repeat. I'm great at this.

>I doubt you knew my father well enough to say that, but I don't think my will is as weak as your body, old man.

>>2101193
At least Hiki fights for his friends, and that's what counts!

>>2101209
He and Lee should be closer. Imagine if Guy was Hiki's teacher.

>>2101190
>I accept your challenge.

>>2101190

> Hiki's excitement at getting to spar a powerful opponent is so great that he doesn't catch on to what Elder Hyuuga said about his father until halfway through the fight

This is applicable no matter whether we ace, or fail, the roll. Either the realization empowers Hiki, or distracts him at a critical moment...

>>2101190
>I will have to decline, in our clan we are taught to not physically stress our elders since they have so little left to give with the valuable time they have.

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>>2101190
>pic related is Hiki.
Oh it's fucking on now...

>>2101190
>....I accept
Totally just a spar with a respected elder, not even mad or nothing break him

>>2101190
>>2101229
Holy shit. I'm changing to this.

Okay so, down to these two I believe.
>Accept
>Decline with snark
Note that declining won't end that well for you unless you roll high. Of course fighting the Elder Hyuga won't end well either unless you roll high as well.
....
You're kinda' fucked either way.

>>2101257
>Accept

>>2101257
>>Accept
since we're probably going to fail either way I want to at least take a swing at this guy

>>2101257
>Decline with snark

>>2101257
>Accept
Its a crapshoot either way. At least Hiki gets a strong fight out of this one

>>2101257
>>Decline with snark

>>2101257

>Decline with snark

Enough autism, time to see what I envision for autismless Hiki

>>2101257
Third option:
>Accept with snark

>>2101257

> Accept

>>2101275

You know what I'll change to this.

>>2101257
>Accept

>>2101274
Chaos McSirman, autism isn't something you can just wish away.

>>2101257
>Accept
Thanks dice gods.

Though I have a plan. Throw rocks too big for his old man muscles to break so he has to move around, and eventually his arthritis'll end the fight for us.

Accepting(with Snark because why the fuck not) wins.

Now then....
>How do you guys wanna' fight Elder Hyuga? Note, this WILL determine the DC.

>>2101274
You know we're not actually an autist right? Just socially awkward and pure as fuck.

>>2101291
>>2101290
I like this anon's plan. Show that Hiki does occasionally have some brains, tire him out since his body's probably not got as much stamina as ours.

>>2101291
I'm for going with my plan here >>2101290
He could also just get tired like old men usually do.

>>2101290

Support...

>>2101291
Initialy we will use clones to test the waters then once we have a descent understanding of his speed we will use our insane strength to unbalace his footwork by breaking the ground when he comes to defend from our clones attack.

>>2101291
Try and break the ground under him. If we fuck up his stance he should be open at least a little

>>2101289

>Implying there isn't a jutsu that can do that

>>2101291

I'll support this plan >>2101290

>>2101295

I just want to grow past that, to see character development for Hiki

>>2101291
I say focus on hit and run mixed with attrition. Hiki's stamina is near godly and we can't rely on our iron skin. Mixing in iron clones and long range iron balls with our multiwitch technique. We held back ninjutsu wise against ko, the elder doesn't get that.

Have we learned any mole tunneling jutsu?

>>2101291
>Four Witches + Lightning Armor
:^)

>>2101318
Seems like he's been developing as a character to me, maybe we just see it differently? Either way you can't force it.

>>2101319
But the gentle fist is the exact counter of our iron skin.

>>2101291
>>2101326
Oh yeah. Forgot we had that. I'll switch to becoming electric man.

>>2101290
Mmmkay, throwing big ass rocks. Classic Hiki.

1d100
DC 90

Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>2101332

Rolling...

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>2101332
please be kind, rngsus

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122 KB JPG

>>2101332

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>2101332

Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>2101332

>>2101329
I know, I said we can't rely on it. That's why we use a combination of clones, long range, and hit and run to tire him out.

>>2101324
We only know fire and lightning jutsu. Although our clan is good with earth and lightning.

Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>2101337
hurr forgot to roll

Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>2101332

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>2101332
Man this rolls...

Hmmmmmm.

No.

Writing.

>>2101341
We don't know any fure jutsu though, our clan's release is lightning and earth mixed. Even explosion jutsu is spark based.

+This will show Ko that we still have a lot to learn.

>>2101343
So close

>>2101355
No it wasn't, dc was 90. We fail anyway.

>>2101351
Hmm you know what? You are right. It's also good to have Hiki being knocked down a peg. Maybe this will make him stop being so overconfident.

>>2101362
Overconfident? How do you mean?

>>2101361
Oh, right, i forgot 86 is no where near the number 90, my bad

>>2101383
Not close enough to pass no, and no need to be an ass.

File: shatner[1].gif (1.08 MB, 320x240)

1.08 MB GIF

"Very well sir, I accept." You start wrapping up your fists in bandages, adding on a bit more than necessary and getting a raised eyebrow from the Elder Hyuga. You explain. "I've been told that the elderly have weaker bones, I don't wish to hurt you too much."

"Ooooooh." Sasu says, grinning like an idiot as he takes a few steps back. Ko rubs his face with his hand.

The Elder Hyuga...he just stands there, hands behind his back and watches you. "How very considerate of you, I'll be sure to take full advantage of this kindness. Begin when you are ready."

No sooner had he finished the sentence, then you started to dig your hands into the earth, pulling up a large, probably twice your size piece of rock out of the ground before spinning around and whipping it straight at the Elder Hyuga. No matter how agile he is, he's still old. You can use the time it takes for him to dodge in order to-

"Hmmph." The Elder Hyuga steps forward, slamming his palm into the large piece of earth and shattering it with ease, dust and smaller pieces of rock falling to the ground around him. "Perhaps this is a good time to explain to you that just because something's big and heavy, doesn't mean it can't be broken apart with ease." He smiles. "Just like that big empty head of yours."

The Elder dashes forward, faster than you can keep up with, and you soon feel a stinging sensation in the back of your head which sends you tumbling forward. The world around you is spinning like crazy, so much so that you can't help but throw up because of it. You can hear footsteps, once taking a deliberately long time to get to you. "Hmm, not the first time I've made a Tetsu lose his lunch in this courtyard. Probably won't be the last." Just as you get your focus back, the Elder Hyuga slams his palm directly into your face, sending you flying backwards and into a tree. Your body hits it hard, cracking the trunk of it before you fall down to your knees. How can someone so old still be this powerful?

"Elder that's enough!" Ko says, stepping forward.

"NO!" You shout, shakily getting up. You hold a hand out, stopping Ko in his tracks. "I wanted this Sensei, I need to see this through." You take up a stance, ready to face the Elder once again.

He claps insultingly at you. "My my, well at least you've got heart." He's walking slowly to wards you, preparing a variation of the Gentle Fist stance as he does.

You're not sure what you can do, the only other thing you can think of that might give you a better chance is the Chidori Armor, but you haven't tested that in actual combat yet, and if you fail, you're basically out of chakra.

>What do?

>>2101400

We need to ACTUALLY USE NINJUTSU. FOR FUCK'S SAKE HIKI HAS A FIRE NATURE LET'S USE SOME FUCKING FIRE JUTSU AND BURN HIM

>>2101362

On your left you see a Hyuga sympathizinf nigger

>>2101400
This is in preparation for training, so clearly this makes this training. Obviously we use the fuck out of it and do the thing he wouldn't expect, rushing him when we've already been destroyed in close combat.

>>2101400
Chidori Armor. Go big or go home. And no more holding back.

>>2101413
>>2101417
supporting