>>2272187

I claim the first post in the name of saying fuck Danzo

>>2272187
I'm loving your Colonial Marines quest, but i'm glad you're not abandoning this one.

Also fuck Danzo.

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>You are Sinchu
>Yeah boi!

"Well, it was good talkin' with ya' Kenshiro." You say, waving at the highly muscular dude as he walks off in the direction you all just came from. Your mind settles on what he had told you before, on how to kill a god and the sacrifices it required.

Of course before you had a chance to actually dwell on that, you feel a sharp kick to your ass. "C'mon, get your head out of the clouds and move it." Jiraiya tells you.

"Yeah." You say, not really arguing as you pick up your shit and head off with him, Naruto, and Karin. "How much longer till we get to this place Lady Tsunade's at?"

"Probably another hour or so." The Toad Sage replies, writing some stuff down in his book. Oh man, if you're actually watching the next installment of Icha Icha being written right in front of you, you don't know if you can contain yourself.

"Hey pervert sage!" Naruto shouts. "When ya' gonna' teach me and Karin some cool jutsu's like you promised?"

"Yeah, you dragged us all the way out here, the least you can do is actually teach us something. Besides," Karin points at you. "Even Sinchu taught us some cool stuff when he was teaching us!"

You smirk. You are pretty cool for a teacher. Jiraiya frowns a bit, closing his book before slowing down until he's walking right beside the two kids. "Alright, you two wanna' learn a cool jutsu, I've got just the one."

While Jiraiya explains the jutsu to the kids, you once again find yourself thinking back to Kenshiro's words. "If you wish to kill this god, you must be willing to make a great sacrifice. What is the most important thing to you Sinchu? What do you care about the most? THAT is what you must give up in order to defeat a god, for they are beings made up of faith and emotions, and if you wish to have a chance of defeating one, you must give up something that holds great emotional value to you." You've been going over that a lot, and the implications of it all.

Question is, what is the thing you care about the most?
>A. Your Clan
>B. Your Village
>C. Naruto
>D. Nerscy
>E. Your scooter
>F. Write-in

>>2272203

>B. Your Village

>>2272203
>>C. Naruto

>>2272203
>B. Your Village

>>2272203
>A. Your Clan

>>2272203
>>A. Your Clan

>>2272206
>>2272216
>>2272220

Wouldn't C fit into all these too?

>>2272203
>A. Your Clan

>>2272222
...No? Naruto isn't part of the Clan.

Also A wins. Writing.

>>2272226

I meant B

>>2272226
Really? I think no one really knows the answer to this, the things we do the most with Sinchu is kill people, teach others how to kill people and hit on girls.

>>2272236

Don't forget going full retard

>>2272233
>>2272222
Not always what is good for the village is good to the clan. For the Tetsu clan it would be better if there were more wars. So they could get the power up they get during war periods.

No wonder not!armstrong was the clan elder before Susumu.

>>2272236
>hit on girls.

While killing people.

>>2272249

They could even be the people we're killing

>>2272255
I can easily see Sinchu flirting with a cute girl after figthing her.

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Well shit it's obviously your Clan right? Hiki, Taka, Suzu, even old man Susumu, and the rest of them. They're the ones you got an actual deep emotional tie to. Still, you take a small peak over your shoulder at Naruto as he's being taught something by Jiraiya. It's not like the little dude doesn't mean a lot to you either, but your actual family means a lot. Ugh, all this emotional thinking hurts. You look up though, and are surprised to see that you're all already at the entrance to this new town. Jesus how long did you think on that?

"Alright," Jiraiya says, getting yours and the kids attention. "I'm gonna' go see my contact about where Tsunade might be hiding, and I want you three to stick together while I do."

"Heheh, oh boy!" Naruto grins, pulling out that frog coin purse of his. The thing's practically bursting at the seems. "I can't wait to check out all the cool stuff they got here!"

"HOLD IT!" Jiraiya shouts, snatching the frog from the poor boys hands. Jiraiys pulls out a couple bills, handing them to Naruto, before stuffing the frog into one of his pockets. "A kid like you will just spend all his money on the first thing he sees, I'm keeping this for you so you don't spend it all."

"Aw what!?" Naruto grumbles, frowning a lot.

Karin just adjusts her glasses and stares at Jiraiya. "You're just gonna' spend his money on whores aren't you?"

"H-hey what's that?!" Jiraiya shouts, pointing behind you all. You turn to look, seeing nothing, but by the time you turn back the Toad Sage is gone.

"Figured that'd happen." You say, scratching the back of your neck. You turn to wards Naruto and Karin. "Alright so...what do you guys wanna' do?"

"Something fun!" Naruto shouts.

"Something dangerous." Karin grins.

Hmmm.

>A. Gambling?
>B. "Let's go check out what kind of ramen they got here."
>C. "I guess we can go check out the weapon stalls."
>D. How about we work on that jutsu Jiraiya was teaching you guys?"
>E. Write-in

>>2272267

>D. How about we work on that jutsu Jiraiya was teaching you guys?"

RASENGAN BOYOS

>>2272267
>>D. How about we work on that jutsu Jiraiya was teaching you guys?"

>>2272267
>>D. How about we work on that jutsu Jiraiya was teaching you guys?"

>>2272267
>D

Rasengan it is.

Let's do this. Writing.

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1.61 MB PNG

Gambling is the thing you wanna' do the most right now, swipe some money from some poor suckers who don't know who they're fucking with, but then again you get the feeling JIraiya wouldn't like that. Not to mention it's a pain to sneak in two thirteen year old kids into a gambling den. Hmm...wait, wasn't Jiraiya teaching them a new Jutsu? "Hey, I got a great idea."

"Yeah?" Karin and Naruto say, leaning forward in anticipation.

"That new Jutsu Jiraiya was teaching you, why don't we go work on that for a bit?" You can see Karin deflate a little, obviously she wanted to go do something else, but Naruto seems upbeat about the idea. "Alright so, what was the name of the Jutsu he was teaching you kids anyways?"

"Rasengan!" Naruto shouts.

You gulp. "R-rasengan?" You stutter, earning a confused nod from Karin. Oh boy. "Uh...let's go somewhere a little more...open then."

"Why?" Karin asks.

"We're gonna' need the room." You say. Jeez, what's Jiraiya thinking teaching them the fucking Rasengan. Well, you sort of get why he's teaching it to Naruto, he is the Fourth's son after all, but still this shit is dangerous. The three of you make it to a little area away from the bustling of the town finally, ready to practice. "Alright so...what's he told you to do so far?"

"He-"

"He said we need to work on rotating our chakra in our hand." Karin cuts Naruto off, smirking a bit.

Right, that makes sense. "Okay uh...one sec." You reach into your backpack, searching for something that they can use. A balloon would work, just fill it with water and they'd get a good sense of how their chakra control is working. But you don't got any balloons, all you got are...."Okay," You say, turning around and holding up two unopened condom wrappers. "Quick question, do either of you know what these are?"

Naruto and Karin blink, tilting their heads slightly before shaking them. "Nah, what are they?" Naruto asks.

"...they're special training rubbers." You lie, opening them up before filling the condoms with water from your canteen. You hand them over to the kids, who just stare at them.

"Why are they...slimy?" Karin asks, bouncing the water filled condom in her hand.

"It's uh...help you not get callouses." They both nod at that. "Okay so, just focus on trying to like, rotate the chakra in your palm, the water in the....training rubber should help you visualize that."

"Can you show us?" Naruto asks.

"Sure." You say, opening up another condom. Goddamn you hope you don't meet any hot babes while you're over here.

>roll me some 1d100's
>DC 65

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>2272317

Pop those balloons and prove that kids aren't garbage

Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>2272324
Well alright then

>>2272324

And so children become worse than garbage, I'm sure some shit stole my good dice

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39 KB JPG

>>2272324
Look at this man and laugh!

Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>2272317

>>2272329

Laugh while you can shitter, but I'll roll a 100 on slapping Kakuzu's shit just you wait

Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>2272317

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>2272317
Maybe we can still save this...

Alright so, good news guys. You passed...but you also got a 1.

Who's ready for Sinchu to burst that condom?!
Writing.

>>2272329
HA HA HA
What am I laughing st

>>2272337
>>2272324
>Sinchu Succeeds, but he breaks the other condom balloon
>Kar and Nart go into town to buy more
>Toad Man Jenkins catches two underage cousins trying to buy a shitload of condoms
>Hilarity ensues

>>2272329
Fuck that moon why are we rollibg Sinchu is a mother fucking jounin.

>>2272348
Because it's the motherfucking Rasengan.
>>2272346
>>Kar and Nart go into town to buy more
Fuck it, this is better than what I had in mind.

>>2272348
Cause the Rasengan is a magical orb of chakra control bullshit and Sinchu is a goober who's just really good at killing.

>>2272348

He wants revenge for all my 99s, and some fuck stole my good dice. Plus this is the Rasengan after all

>>2272352
Fuck that rasengan is shiiit! It's not even a completed jutsu.

>>2272359

But that's the charm of it, you can make your own donut steel Rasengan

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"Right, watch and learn." You start up the rotation of chakra, the water filled condom swirling a bit in your palm before it stabilizes into a perfectly rotating sphere. Well shit, you were sure that was gonna' fuck up something fierce. "Alright there, ya' see? It's easy as-" The condom breaks, splattering your face with the liquid inside and also hitting the two minors in front of you. Because of this they end up dropping their condoms as well, splattering them on the ground. "...pie."

"I thought you were supposed be a super cool shinobi Sinchu." Karin says, wiping the water off of her glasses. "What's the deal."

"Hey, don't blame it all on Sinchu! This just must be a really hard Jutsu to learn," Naruto says, sticking up for you. Good kid. "Right Sinchu?"

"Right you are Naruto. Which means we're gonna' need a whole bunch of water balloons if we're gonna' practice this correctly." You reach into your wallet, pulling out some money and handing it to the kids. "Here, go pick up some water balloons for us to use. And like, get yourself some snacks or beer or whatever."

"Beer?" Karin asks, confused.

"Yeah you're right, it's not even noon yet, better just get some juice." You watch as the two of them walk off, arguing with each other about whatever it is kids argue about. Hmm, maybe sending them off on their own isn't the best idea though. You whip our your summoning scroll, and a second later Nerscy is in front of you. "Hey Nerscy."

"Sinchuuuuu!" Your giant spider summon grabs you, wrapping her hairy arms around you in a big ol' hug, as all of her eyes stare at you. "Did you summon me so we could play?"

"Nah, I need you to watch over Karin and Naruto for a bit while they do some shopping." You watch as her face deflates a bit. "And then when they get back we can play for a bit."

"Oh boy! Okay Sinchu, you can count on me!" You watch as Nerscy reaches into the big ol' backpack she keeps on her, pulling out a spider-sized ninja suit. "Sneaky Nerscy is on the case!" Your spider summon goes off, following after Karin and Naruto while keeping to the shadows. Or bushes.

"Time for some sleep." You yawn, getting underneath the shade of a tree. This is nice.

TWOK

You wake up with a jolt, pain coming from your head, as you see Jiraiya standing in front of you, arms crossed. "Where are the kids Sinchu?"

"Fuck man, they're off getting more water balloons for that Rasengan training." Jiraiya starts to say something, but you cut him off. "And before you get pissy, no I didn't send them off alone, I got Nerscy following them."

"The giant spider?" Jiraiya asks, and you nod. "Hmm...I suppose that's fine. So how's the trai-" He stops, frowning a bit as he leans down and picks something up off the floor...one of the burst condoms. "Sinchu...what the fuck is this?"

"Uh-"

"Hey Sinchu, we're back." You both turn to see Naruto and Karin, riding on top Nerscy with huge grins on their faces. "We got the balloons!"
>cont.

>>2272378
"We also got a whole bunch of those training rubbers you showed us how to use earlier." Karin says, holding up two strips of magnum sized condoms.

"HE DID WHAT?!" Jiraiya shouts, turning on your with fire in his eyes.

"Yeah, Sinchu used them, but he caused one of them to burst, and it got all over us, and then after the other two burst he told us to go into town and get more." Naruto explains, hopping down off Nerscy."

Well...Jiraiya looks like he's going to kill you.

>A. "We didn't have any water balloons"
>B. "I mean, come on, it's pretty funny right?"
>C. "I have no excuses."
>D. Write-in

>>2272384
>C. I have no excuses

>>2272384
>A
>D Sorry

>>2272384
>A. "We didn't have any water balloons"
"Well I ain't the shopkeeper who sold two underage kids a bunch of condoms! He's the real villain!"

>>2272388

This

>>2272384
>>A. "We didn't have any water balloons"

>>2272388
This

>>2272384
>I trained them so i have no regrets.

>>2272388
This wins.
Let's see how much Jiraiya believes you. 1d100, DC 50.
Also sorry about the lack of response, I'm air frying a pizza.

>>2272389
We shouldn't have used the condoms first of all if Sinchu wdid this bullshit with Hiki or Taka. Suzu would have broken all of his bones.

Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>2272404
nat 1

Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>2272404

Don't fuck me now dice

Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>2272404
Nat 1 please

Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>2272404

>>2272410
You saved us!

Right on. After the next post I'm takin' a thirty to eat, then we'll get back into it as Taka.

Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>2272404

>>2272433
He's still alive then? Kin should go and train with Hiki. See if she manages to make him get his skin as hard as her wood.

>>2272433
Hope your grandma doesn't eat it all.

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"We didn't have any water balloons." You say, gulping as Jiraiya grinds his teeth. "Sorry."

You watch as the Toad Sage takes a deep breath, then lets out a sigh. "Yeah yeah. Alright." He turns around, walking over to Karin and snatching up the condoms in her hands, stashing them away in his own pockets. "Right, well it looks like you kids at least got plenty of water balloons to practice with, so that's good."

"Hey, how come we can't use the training rubbers though?" Naruto asks.

"...because that'll be the easy way of doing this." Jiraiya says, coming up with a decent enough lie. "And you're not gonna' half ass things on my watch."

"Eh, that's fine, those things felt gross anyways." Karin adds.

You sit up, watching as Jiraiya shows the kids the Rasengan again. At the same time Nerscy walks over, settling down beside you so that you can scratch and rub her head. "Hey Sinchu?" She asks, meekly.

"Yeah Nerscy?"

"Do you ever worry about what will happen to them?" And by them, she's obviously meaning Naruto and Karin.

"All the time Nerscy, all the time."

>Break time.
>Boom.

>>2272457
>Boom.

> I'm takin' a thirty to eat
>There has been thirty minutes already

Well he dead.

Alright we back, time for Taka.

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>You are Takahiro
>You're a good boy.

"Ow." You whine slightly as Hanabi slaps another bandage onto your face, which is sore from all the training you've been doing with Mutaito. Still, even if it does hurt, at least you're making progress. "Ow." You says again as another bandage is put on.

"I'm sorry Taka, but you got a lot of cuts and bruises." Hanabi apologizes as she puts the bandages away. The two of you are sitting in the park, just enjoying the day after all of the training you did with Mutaito. It's relaxing. "So, how's your training going? Have you learned anything cool yet?"

"Well, I learned I can take being slammed into a tree without dying." You say, causing the young girl to gasp in horror. "And that mister Mutaito is very, very strict in his training." You remember when he brought out the weighted training clothes, and then dumped you in the pond. "Still, it's helped me become stronger, so I'll tough it out!"

Hanabi grins at you, then blushes as he begins poking her two index fingers together. "Um, Taka. I was wondering-"

"Helo Taka." Hanabi falls out of her seat as Sai appears behind the two of you, causing the girl to hyperventilate. "And hello miss Hanabi. It's good to see you two again."

"Oh, hi Sai." You say. "What brings you around?"

"Hmm, I was hoping we could do more stuff that friends normally do." Sai answers taking a seat right between you and Hanabi. "That would be fun right?"

Hanabi frowns a bit. "I didn't even know you two were friends."

"Oh of course we are, don't you remember that day we transferred Kin's soul?" You say.

"Would you like to be friends?" Sai asks you, as the rest of you stand around the recently fixed Kin.

"Sure." You say, grinning at the possibility of making new friends. "I'm Taka."

"And I'm Sai. Good now we're friends. Mission accomplished." And then Sai shunshin's off.

"What the fuck was that?!" Kiba asks, confused.

"And now we're friends." You explain to Hanabi. She just frowns some more.

"So, Taka," Sai says, grinning at you. "Would you like to do some friend stuff?"

"Sure!" You shout. Hmm, but what to do?

>Well? What do?

>>2272536
>Sai Cockblocking Hanabi like that
Oooh, that ain't good for him

>Take a walk-about the village, maybe get some food. Bring Hanabi too, can't just ditch her.

>>2272536
Getting food always seems to be the most popular option. Always.

I thought you'd be shelving this to run Marines, let's see which kills your quests faster.

>>2272547
Marines will be a once a month or twice a month thing. KCQ is my main priority.

>>2272536
Go to the bakery.

>>2272536
"Let's check out that new Colonial Marines movie, then eat at that new bbq place afterward."

>>2272536

Time to go and eat, maybe train

>>2272536
Grab him and go check a movie. Then end it up by brigging him to the bakery.

>>2272550
>once a month or twice a month thing
That's one way to get around burning yourself out and killing both your quests.

Oh shit I think my stove is on fire.

>>2272536
Kek, just what I imagined.
Since we just finished physical training lets try get new techniques on the library.

Movie it is.
Let's see who else is going.
1d5, taking fifth roll.
>1. Shino and Ino
>2. Kori and Sasu
>3. Shikamaru and Choji
>4. Kurenai and Asuma
>5. Aunti Anju and a gaggle of bitches.

Rolled 3 (1d5)

>>2272566

Rolled 1 (1d5)

>>2272566
Turns out it was just steam.

Rolled 2 (1d5)

>>2272566

Rolled 4 (1d5)

>>2272566

Rolled 3 (1d5)

>>2272566

Shikamaru and Choji it is. Shame, I wanted more Shiino time, but whatever.
Writing.

>>2272580
Oh great Taka's true rival in ninja go and Choji too.

>>2272587

>Taka
>Having any rivals in ninja go

Good joke

>>2272591
Oh wait you are right Shikamaru is way to lazy to play Ninja Go.So at least his rival in normal Go.

>>2272584
Oh yeah Moon? Well I don't particularly like Shino. In your quest, in general I do.

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"Oh, I know!" You hop up excitedly. "Let's all go to the movies!" You spin around in place, facing Hanabi and Sai again. "They've got that new Colonial Marines movie playing, and I heard it's really good!"

Sai smiles, tilting his head slightly. "Okay."

Hanabi grins, standing up as well. "Okay Taka," She moves over to you, grabbing your hand and smirking up at Sai. "Let's go."

"Yes, let's go as friends." Sai says, walking over and taking your other hand.

Oh man, you're so lucky to have so many friends. The three of you head over to the movies, skipping the whole way there. Plenty of people stop and stare, no doubt surprised to such friendship on display. By the time you all make it there, you've still got ten minutes till the start of the movie, plenty of time to get popcorn and drinks! "Three tickets for Colonial Marines 3: Game Over Again!" You say, smiling up at the ticket taker.

"You kids know this movie contain gore, sexual situations, and cursing right?" He asks.

"Oh no!" You say. "Don't worry, we'll cover our ears if they say any bad words."

"...alright." He gives you the tickets, and the three of you head on inside the theater. Surprisingly, you also see Choji and Shikamaru here as well.

"Hey guys!" You say, skipping your way over to them. Choji has his hands full with at least two things of popcorn and lord knows how many candy bars. "You here to see Colonial Marines too?"

"Yeah," Shikamaru says, yawning. He looks down at your hands, which both Sai and Hanabi have a hold of. He just shrugs. "Figured I could catch a nap while it's on."

"And I'm not missin' out on the latest sequel either!" Choji says excitedly. "I heard they used four thousand gallons of blood in this movie alone!"

"I am Sai, Taka's friend." Sai says, smiling at them. "It's a pleasure to meet the two of you. Tell me, do you know anything interesting about Taka?"

"Uh, he's smart?" Choji says. "And uh, he's really good at Go."

"Yes, yes he is." Hanabi says, shaking slightly. Ohohoho.

"Hey, how come I've never seen you at the academy before?" Shikamaru asks.

"I don't go to the academy. I'm trained by much more competent people." Sai replies.

Choji frowns. "Hey, you're not callin' Iruka incompetent are ya'?"

"Hmm? Maybe, uh," Sai thinks for a moment. "Big guy."

>Oh dear.
>What do?

>>2272619
For you

>>2272619
>What do?
Start Baneposting, movies are a thing in the Naruto world, Taka must have seen plenty.

>>2272619

Banepost or nothing

>>2272619
Karate Chop on Sai's head(but don't use your tekkotsu like Susumu does with Sinchu) Tell him it's unpolite to talk like that about adults.

>>2272619
"Sai, you just became the CIA guy to his Bane. You might want to sit a bit away from him for awhile."

"For you." You say, causing Choji's rising anger to suddenly disappear as he and everyone else look at you in confusion. You shrug. "What, Sai's not that big."

Shikamaru just shakes his head. "Whatever, come on Choji let's go get our seats."

"So Sai," You say, smiling at your new friend. "What kind of candy do you like?"

Sai smiles, but then shrugs. "I don't know, I've never had sweets before."

A large gasp fills the room as you and Hanabi look at Sai in horror. "N-never had sweets?" Hanabi asks, horrified.

"Well we gotta' fix that right away." You turn to wards the clerk at the food counter, who's busy texting on his phone. "Excuse me, could we get some candy please."

"We're all out of candy, the fat kid took, the last of it."

"...do you happen to just have any plain old sugar then?" You ask, frowning a bit. You sigh, turning back to Sai. "I'm sorry Sai, it looks like I can't get you any candy."

Sai just shrugs, but you can tell that he's hurting deep, deep inside.

The rest of the movie trip goes without a hit, all of you watching a group of new Marines get torn apart by aliens, blood and guts everywhere. After the movie you all feel really rejuvenated. "So Taka,' Sai says to you. "I had fun today, goodbye." And with that Sai just walks off.

"That guy's weird." Hanabi says.

"Hanabi that's not nice. Besides I think he's fun to be around, he reminds me of Hiki."

"...I can see that."

>END
>Sorry guys, not feeling well so ending it here.
>Hope you had fun
>Any questions?

>>2272644
Thanks for running

>>2272644

So who'll be playing next time?

>>2272644
>Sorry guys, not feeling well so ending it here.
Well, RIP Moon, we'll see you in the Summer maybe.

>>2272651
Hiki. We won't be back to Susumu for a while due to story reasons.
>>2272653
I'll be back tomorrow dammit.

>>2272657
You might be back tomorrow, but it will be getting shorter and shorter until you're just dropping in to assure us that you're still alive and coming back™ when it's clear that you're pretty close to dying.

>>2272657
>playing Hiki

Oh so more of sand pussy.

>>2272644
>>Sorry guys, not feeling well so ending it here.

Christ Moon, how much pizza did you eat?

>>2272705
At least he isn't pooping blood.

>>2272708
For the love of god Moon, never ever air fry the food that makes you poop blood. I'd rather you run for longer than half an hour a week. And also not die.

>>2272717
>Half an hour a week
>Quest was four hours long today.
Not only that, but like ten minutes after every vote is settled, I usually post the next update. So I'm giving you guys a pretty good amount of content every session.

>>2272937
I was exaggerating dude, but I guess text isn't a good way to convey that. I just hope you don't burn out and not bleed from your anus more than normal.

>>2272187
KYS

>>2272937
>four hours
That's pretty much half an hour in quest time.

Don't know if we'll be havin' a session tonight, I'm grillin' steaks for like five people. Goddamn I love cooking. Keep an eye on this thread though, might actually play.

>>2274304
Okay. Also is the steak bear stake?

>>2274394
bear stake is pretty gamey though

Holy shit that steak was good. Fuckin' recommend getting an air fryer just for that shit.

Yeah we'll be havin' a thread tonight unless I start shitting blood again. PEACE!

>>2272317
>but then again you get the feeling JIraiya wouldn't like that.
Why do we care what he'd like when he stole money from a 13 year old to blow on whores?

>>2275285
>air fryer
>Frying your steak in an air fryer
There are many things wrong with this post, but I'll just address these two.

1. Frying an animal in the fat of another animal is the best thing about deep frying, especially when said second animal isn't one you can get your hands on too often.

2. Why in God's name are you frying your steak like that?

Granted, the best animal for frying with in my experience can't be consumed in the EU.

>>2275400
Also, I'm fairly sure that we got told about Tsunade's love of Gambling and Booze, naturally making the best choice of finding Tsunade/information about Tsunade the gambling hall.

I mean, I know Moon's having us play elaborate babysitter, but we are a jounin.

>>2275404
>Granted, the best animal for frying with in my experience can't be consumed in the EU.
I'm intrigued.

>>2275400

>Why do we care what he'd like when he stole money from a 13 year old to blow on whores?

He's our hero

>>2275404

>Granted, the best animal for frying with in my experience can't be consumed in the EU.

Go on

>>2275945
>>2276397
Well, it's cute and you have to bash its brains in.

>>2276423
A child?

>>2276423
Is it seal?

>>2276485
It is a seal.

>>2276423

A seal?

>>2276464

>Children
>Cute

>>2276500

How do they taste?

>>2276505
The meat itself isn't very fatty, it's kind of like duck or veal, but gamier. You're not really supposed to eat it on its own.

The oil is pretty smooth and doesn't leave too much of a taste, it's kind of like fish oil, but better for frying.

>>2276501
Fair enough.

Who's ready for some iron in their diet? Thread starts in thirty.
Or sooner if I feel like it.

>>2275404
Air fryers don't use oil they use, get this, AIR.
And it wasn't like actual frying either, it was like....well controlled circulating heat.

Look man I got perfect medium on a rib eye, don't knock it till you try it.

>>2276644
>Who's ready for some iron in their diet?

Hanabi, Sakura and Karin.

>>2276658
Stop that.

>>2276658

>Every lady in the world

FTFY

>>2276664
Hey you started it. Shouldn't ask questions to the anwser you don't want to hear.

>>2276665
I forgot to add Temari. I guess we will finally do some sweet eugenics.

>>2276670

You're doing good with me boyo

>>2276644
>I got perfect medium on a rib eye
I doubt that.

>Air fryers don't use oil they use, get this, AIR.
No shit, but it's inferior to oil.

https://youtu.be/cYpz3abAk98
>You're Sinchu Tetsu
>Are you ready?

Your back is fucking sore. Of course that tends to happen when you sleep on the ground after a certain cool little dude and dudette force you to spend all night with them training on how to use a certain whirling chakra ball technique. Still, it's not like you could've told Karin and Naruto no, then they would've been sad, and then you'd have had to buy them ramen.

Which...is what you're doing right now. "Where did my life go wrong?" You wonder out loud, slurping up some half-decent ramen noodles. They're no Ichiraku, but they ain't half bad either.

"Was it when you were born?" Karin asks, gulping down her own bowl. The girl has been quick to pick up the fine delicacy that is ramen. Though her odd choice of pickled cucumbers is...strange to you. But to each their own.

"Oh oh, maybe it was when Shino's cousin dumped ya' at the club?" Naruto tries to add.

You glare at the two of them, vowing to remember this the next time they're trying to get laid...oh god you just thought of Naruto trying to get some pus-

"Found out where Tsunade is." Jiraiya says, interrupting your thoughts as he comes into the ramen stand. "Not surprising at all, she's at the local gambling den."

"How'd you find that out?" You ask, finishing up your ramen and standing up. "Was it because she's one of the Sanin? Bet it's big deal for one of you guys to show up anywhere really."

Jiraiya shakes his head. "Nah, it's because she's lost over twenty-thousand ryo already." You widen your eyes, mouth nearly hitting the floor. Jiraiya smirks at your reaction. "Yeah, and that's nothing, she's only bee gambling for about thirty minutes apparently."

"That's...that's insane!" You shout, trying to wrap your head around what you were just told.

"Wow," Naruto says, looking up at you as he wipes his mouth. "That actually is a lot of money huh Sinchu?"

"It's not that!" You growl. "It's that I've lost like twice that in half the time before!" You turn to face Jiraiya. "I thought you guys were supposed to be the best of the best!? How the hell can I be better at loosing than Tsunade?!"

"...ask her yourself, c'mon." Jiraiya says, leaving the ramen stand with the three of you following. "Now, more than likely she's either already spent all of her money and the people running the den are pissed, or she had some stupidly insane luck and won it all back."

"Why would that last part be bad?" Karin asks.

"Because," Jiraiya continues. "Tsunade only wins when something bad happens. So that'll tip her off that we're coming for her, and she'll run." He stops, turning to wards you. "And I need you to stop her if she does."

>A. "Me? Stop Tsunade?"
>B. Lewd images. "O-okay."
>C. "You know I HAVE heard stories about Tsunade, are you sure I'll live through something like that?"
>D. "Hell no."
>E. Write-in

>>2276721
>>B. Lewd images. "O-okay."

>>2276721
>>A. "Me? Stop Tsunade?"
> Write-in 'I'm surprised you're actually giving me some trust. Feels good.'

>>2276721
>twenty-thousand ryo
160 dollars?

>A. "Me? Stop Tsunade?"

>>2276721
>>C. "You know I HAVE heard stories about Tsunade, are you sure I'll live through something like that?"

>>2276721

>C. "You know I HAVE heard stories about Tsunade, are you sure I'll live through something like that?"

Combining A and C to save up on time.
>>2276746
10 Ryo is equivalent to 1 Freedom Bux.
So actually 2,000 dollars.

>>2276721
>A
Can't be as bad as getting.punched by Hiki or Suzu.

>>2276767

I remember Moon saying after Hiki's scuffle with Ko the slime Hyuga that the punch that caused a crater caused people who felt and/or heard it think that Tsunade was around. So yeah

>>2276783
But that was Hiki punching with full on autism. I doubt Sinchu has ever earned Hiki's Serious Serie: Serious Punch

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You gulp. Pretty goddamn loudly too. "You want me," You point to yourself. "To stop Tsunade?" Jiraiya nods at you. You take a deep breath before bringing your hands together, and pointing at the old man. "Yeah, let me just stop ya' right there. You do realize I've heard stories about Tsunade, right? Are you really sure I'll live through something like that?"

Jiraiya just waves off your worries. "Ah, you'll be fine. You're around those two crazy strong cousins of your all the time, aren't you?"

"Yeah," Naruto cuts in. "I really doubt there's anyone stronger than Suzu." Naruto grins, a small blush coming up on his face. "And if they are, I bet they don't make bread half as good as she does."

"And nobody's stronger than Hiki." Karin adds, looking off into the distance, in a dream like state. "With those big, bear killing muscles."

You snap your fingers. "Hey! Hey! Keep my cousins out of those filthy minds you little perverts." You sigh, turning back to Jiraiya. "Alright, I'm up for it."

"Good." Jiraiya pats you on the back...and then leans in a bit. "Just uh, make sure you cover yourself up in iron before hand, just in case." With that the four of you head to the gambling den, and when you get there, you can already see there's a commotion. "Huh, honestly it's better than I expected." Jiraiya says, eyeing the front doors that currently have five different people hanging through them.

"There are dudes passed out in a door right now." You point out.

"Yeah, and she didn't kill any of 'em." Jiraiya says. He opens the door, earning some groans from the men still in them, and heads inside with you and the kids right behind him. As you get further inside you can hear what sounds like...a hammer hitting raw meat? No, no you've heard that sound before, it's the same one Hiki and Suzu make when they're punching a dude's face. "Tsunade, you in here?" Jiraiya calls out, opening up another door. Once he does, you can all see Tsunade, in all her busty glory, holding a guy up by the collar and slamming her fist into his face. "Ah, there you are."

"Eh?" Tsunade turns her attention to Jiraiya, then drops the thug once she sees who it is. "Jiraiya? What are you doing here?" She then looks at the rest of you, Karin and Naruto hiding behind you once she does. "And why'd you bring along kids?"

>A. "I am a man."
>B. GRAB HER!
>C. "Oh my god they're so big."
>D. Stare awkwardly at the Sanin.
>E. Write-in

>>2276758
Ah, usually weeb currencies are pretty analogous to the Yen.

>>2276796
>>2276783
That's because Hiki is the Kon of the Tetsu.

>>2276816
>E. "My kids were just SO eager to see one of the Legendary Sannin! Maybe even get a photo op, I'm willing to pay..."

>>2276796

I'd say less autism more of the hidden hatred for eyeniggers that Tetsu have. But eh, either way Sinchu could probably take a guess at it

>>2276816

>A. "I am a man."

>>2276816
>A. "I am a man."

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>>2276816
>>A. "I am a man."

A wins.
Though that E would've actually buttered her up.
Writing.

>>2276884
The fastest way to a gambler's heart is through their debts.

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"I am a man." You say, trying to put on your best serious face. You're a former Anbu dammit, and you own your own scooter, the pinnacle of manliness.

All Tsunade does is laugh in your face though. "Oh right, sure thing mister man" Tsunade turns to Jiraiya, and it's at this point that you see a rather cute looking, black haired girl holding a pic in the corner, shaking her head in dismay at the wreckage of the place. "Jiraiya, what do you want exactly?"

"Need ya' to come back to the village. Old man's retiring and he wants you as his successor." Jiraiya says, crossing his arms.

"Hold on, what?!" Naruto shouts, pushing from behind you. "You're telling me this lady's supposed to be the next Hokage?!"

"Well her or Hiashi." You add in. "It's supposed to be a democratic process this time. Lame." Whatever happened to good ol' inheritance?

"How are they so big?" Karin asks, staring right at Tsunade's giant breasts. You stop her hand before she reaches out and pokes one.

"That's how you loose a finger." You chastise her.

Naruto just fumes. "How can someone like her be a candidate for Hokage!? She looks like a bum!" A sexy bum. "And she smells like booze!"

"Hey, I'm not that drunk." Tsunade says, frowning. Then she breathes into her palm before smelling it. "Okay maybe a little."

Jiraiya just rolls his eyes. "Naruto calm down, this is on order from the Third himself."

"I don't care, there's no way someone like her would make a good Hokage!" He says, pouting.

Tsunade smirks. "Oh, and you would know about what it takes to be Hokage then?"

Naruto nods. "Sure do, cause I'm gonna' be the Hokage some day!"

Tsunade blinks, and then lets out a loud laugh so hard she has to clutch her stomach. "A peepsqueak like you, Hokage? Hahahahaha!" The more she laughs, the more irritated Naruto starts to look. Oh boy.

>A. "Hey, the little dude would make an awesome Hokage."
>B. "He'd be a better choice than you."
>C. Keep quiet, watch her breasts as they giggle with each laugh.
>D. Put a hand on Naruto and keep him calm.
>E. Write-in

>>2276894

That or tempt them with gambling more

>>2276925

>E. "Let's just focus on what's at hand here alright?"

>>2276925
>>E. Write-in
"Hey Jiraiya, why the hell aren't YOU gonna be the next Hokage?"

>>2276925
>D

>>2276925
>Hiashi
I thought Danzo was still around.

>D. Put a hand on Naruto and keep him calm.
Mutter
>B. "He'd be a better choice than you."
Under our breath

>>2276944

I'd go with this, just replace B with A. Also

Even though Hiashi is an eyenigger, he's better than Danzo that's for sure

>>2276925
>D. Put a hand on Naruto and keep him calm.

>E Regardless if he becomes hokage or not he won't spend the back half of his life as a waste.

Hmmm, give me some 1d100's.
DC 70

>>2276958
What do you mean? Danzo can do no wrong
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Haha I bet you like the Uchiha
That there are no Danzofags in this quest makes me happy and boggles my noggle.

Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>2276962

Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>2276962

Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>2276962

File: status symbol.png (151 KB, 500x281)

151 KB PNG

Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>2276962
Now is your time Shinchu!

Even though flat chests are objectively nicer and more attractive.

Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>2276962

Alright

>>2276965

It's great right?

Hey you passed! And in front of Jiraiya no less!

Writing.

>>2276971

Please tell me you're lying boyo

>>2276973
It's divine.

>>2276977
What? You like cows?

>>2276986
You know what else has flat chests? SNAKES! Get outta here Orochimaru.

>>2276986

Milk is great, plus >>2276997

>>2276997
Snakes actually have large scales on their bellies that they use to pull themselves forward. I wouldn't call that flat.

>>2276998
>Milk is great,
Sounds like you're avoiding the question.

>>2277008

Well let me ask you, can you get delicious milk from a flat chest? If so then that's a miracle by the hands of God or Slaanesh. The only humans that should have flat chests need to have a Y chromosome

>>2277018
You just sound like a fetishist now.

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You place a hand on Naruto's shoulder, shaking your head at the kid as you try to keep him calm. Last thing you need is him getting smacked around by Tsunade of all people. Jiraiya notices this, and give you a quick nod of approval. Oh holy shit Jiraiya noticed you did something smart. Oh man. OH MAN!

Tsunade lets out a sigh, reaching down and picking up a big ass bottle of sake before chugging that thing like it's water. "Listen, head back to the village and tell Hiruzen that the offer's appreciated, but I'm not interested."

"You know he's still been wanting to see for a while now, and turning down an old man like that after what happened with Orochimaru..." Jiraiya lets the implication hang there, earning a glare from Tsunade.

"Yeah, I heard about that, but the old man's alive and well right, and the only one who got hurt in that was...uh?" Tsunade scratches her head, trying to remember your uncles name. "Oh fuck, what was that annoying little perverts name?"

You can't help it, you grin. "Annoying little pervert?" You say, turning to look at Jiraiya as he frowns. "Who, ah, who would she be talking about here Jiraiya sir, and please, please be sure to say the name thoroughly."

"It was Susumu Tetsu." Jiraiya says, crossing his arms as you nearly bend over from laughter. "He's the one who put Orochimaru in the ground. Actually he sort of disintegrated his ass from what I'm told. Something about caterpillars and dank weed..."

"Hmm, that brat always did grow some of the good stuff." Tsunade says, smiling as she remembers fond memories.

"What does she mean, good stuff?" Karin asks, adjusting her glasses at you.

"...she means candy." You answer, shoving the question aside. "Madame Tsunade-"

"Lady Tsunade." She corrects you. "Old women are Madame's."

"You're the same age as me." Jiraiya points out.

"And tens times as beautiful." Tsunade adds.

"Right, LADY Tsunade, we've been tasked to bring you back to the village, so ya' think you could just make things easier and come along?"

"Hmmm." Tsunade taps her chin, child at the same time draining that bottle of sake. "No. No I don't think I will." She grins at you, which sends shivers down your spine. "Here's what I will do. I'm going to pick up Shizune up there, and we're both going to walk right out the door, and there's nothing you can do to stop me, okay?" She says, adding a smug smile at the end.

>A. "Not okay. Jiraiya told me to stop you if you ran, and I will!"
>B. POCKET SAND!
>C. Tackle her! Get REAL close and personal.
>D. "NERSCY NOW!" She was in a trap door this whole time!
>E. Write-in

>>2277023

Of course I am, and so are you. We're just on the opposite ends of the spectrum of which tits are best

>>2277023
He is. It's Chaos, just ignore it

>>2277029
>>D. "NERSCY NOW!" She was in a trap door this whole time!

>>2277029

Say Moon, how much DOES Sinchu know about Tsunade?

>>2277029
>D
Ha ha! Planning ahead works!

>>2277029
>E. If she returns to a quick visit the Hokage will close her entire debt. She won't need to run away and may even start gablimg from scratch. Also Make the real Sinchu appear under the earth and pull Shizune down. It was a Sinchu sshadow clone all along!!! muwahahahaha!

>>2277030
No, you're talking about drinking milk and other weird shit. I'm talking about aesthetics and genetic superiority.

>>2277033
Fair point.

>>2277029
>A. "Not okay. Jiraiya told me to stop you if you ran, and I will!"
I'm sure we can disintegrate her if we have to, just like Susumu did.
I wonder if she would follow us if we kidnapped Shizune...

>>2277029
If it wasn't for the fact that jiraiya would be mad I'd say just let her go. We could find someone better.

>>2277044
Only what Susumu told him.
So Tig Ol' Biddies and she's strong.

>>2277029

>D

>>2277056

I'm just thirsty right now. And as for aesthetics girls with flat chests have the aesthetic appeal of a broken block of concrete. And as for genetic superiority, really?

Trap door Nerscy is a go!
Give that 1d100!
DC 60! Smart Sinchu is Smart!

Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>2277069
I hope this fails because what I voted for didn't win and that means I want everything derailed.

Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>2277069

>>2277029
>E. Write-in
"If not for inheriting the position of Hokage, could you return to at least save Susumu's life? Orichimaru left one last 'gift' to him."

Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>2277069

Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>2277069

Rollan

>>2277074
Don't we need Tetsuo for that anyway?

Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>2277069

>>2277083
Oh. Oh my.

Writing.

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>>2277079

We could use Tetsuo for helping Hiki too

>>2277083

FUNTIMES A COMIN' EVERYONE

>>2277079
Yeah, Tsunade's a doctor, not a Tesshinologist.

>>2277074
We need our crazy brother for that. What? You forget that the Tetsu come as double or a triple set? I mean since Susumu had a older brother and he has a younger sister, plus the fact that he just impregnated a woman with triplets makes it strange that Sinchu and Otsuko don't have a older or middle aged brother.

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>>2277088
>>2277093
I guess Sinchu managed to cover Tsunade in sticky white goo.

>>2277100
I thought Tetsuo was another uncle to Sinchu and Atsuko.

>>2277100

Well, considering Tetsu are like horrifyingly powerful mayflies. He could be dead.

>>2277108

Tetsuo's the missingnin Tetsu who's got the dumbest nickname given because of how blatant it is

>>2277094
So basically the only reason we need Tsunade right now is to keep sarutobi from being wrong the only time in his life?

>>2277108
Well i guess he is it was never explained what was the relation between then. Also Tetsuo seemed too young. But then again i remember now that as Tetsu grow older their hair become darker and loose the silvery colour.

>>2277114
I know who he is but I'm pretty certain he isn't Sinchu's brother.

>>2277116
He needs someone to succeed him as Hokage. And Jiraiya said no so Tsunade is the least bad option.

>>2277116

Hey, do you wanna go ask the guy who literally gave Hiki his autism for help? Or the niceish drunk lady with medical expertise and a candidacy for Hokage?

>>2277124
I don't like either option, what's Kabuto up to?

>>2277122
Well I mean Hiashi or Mutaito are still around. Hiashi seems to have chilled out due to Take exposure as well.

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"Yeah uh....no." You say, taking a step back while also pushing the kids and Jiraiya back as well.

Tsunade frowns, her left eye lid twitching. "No? What, are you gonna' stop me?"

"No. NERSCY NOW!" You shout, hitting the floor while dragging everyone with you.

From the floorboards of the room Nerscy pops up, spraying her web everywhere. "I'M HELPING!" She shouts, while also crying at the same time. For some reason she's also got on a pair of night vision goggles, seemingly designed for spiders, and can't see jack shit during the day time.

Thankfully the act of surprise or the fact that she's wasted caught Tsunade off guard, as Nerscy begins to cover her in her sticky, white gooey strands of webbing, and they are just getting everywhere. "Sinchu, I feel weird." Naruto says, watching the display in front of him.

"Not worth the risk little buddy, trust me." You stand up, smirking like a smug sonuvabitch as you walk back into the room. Tsunade is wrapped from head to toe in the webbing, unable to move. "Hey Nerscy, you added that slight paralyzing agent to your web, right?"

"Sure did!" Nerscy says, talking to wall.

"Cool. Also you can take off the goggles now." You walk up to Tsunade, using the same smirk she did earlier. "I so wish I had camera right now."

"WOULD A VIDEO DRONE DO?!" You become rigid. That voice, no....it couldn't be. You turn around, seeing that there's a drone floating right behind you, with a tv screen on it, and the face on that screen..."Doc Ironblood." You frown, the doctors smiling mad face looking right back at you.

"Little nephew Binchu!"

"It's Sinchu." You correct him.

"Whatever, listen, I heard you were in town, and decided to take a peek and see what you were up to." The drone moves around you a bit, looking at Tsunade's tied up form. "Oh, you captured yourself a Sanin," It then turns to look at Jiraiya. "TWO Sanin! My my Sinchu, you're moving up in the world!"

>A. "Yes, yes I am."
>B. "Hey so would you mind coming back to the village and curing uncle Susumu of a curse? Please."
>C. Grab the drone. "TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE YOU CRAZY FUCK!"
>D. Pocket Sand!(this will have no effect you idiot)
>E. Write-in

>>2277127
Hiashi is still Hiashi, he's suited to be a Clan Head, but he's not someone I want as Hokage. Especially because he would use any excuse of Cloud aggression/overreach to strike at the Cloud.

Not that I like the Cloud, but we don't need a Daiyoji Ninkai Taisen until Mokodara starts it.

I think Tsunade would probably be a better choice than Mutaito too.

>>2277124
Honestly? The person who didn't give up on life because their assassin boyfriend and assassin family died while being assassin's.

Plus we can beat the shit out of him for it with the whole family after.

>>2277133
>E. Write-in
Just knock out the drone, I don't want to deal with more of these ironniggers.

>>2277133
>>B. "Hey so would you mind coming back to the village and curing uncle Susumu of a curse? Please."

>>2277136
I mainly just would like to switch this choice up for once. Has there been a Naruto quest that didn't have her as hokage?

>>2277133
>>B. "Hey so would you mind coming back to the village and curing uncle Susumu of a curse? Please."

>>2277133

>E. "Yep, so how about you? Still eating puppies or skinning babies or something?"

>>2277137

Yeah, better someone who gave up on life than Mr. Mengele

>>2277149
Supporting this

>>2277147
>Has there been a Naruto quest that didn't have her as hokage?
She wasn't Hokage in Leaf Ninja, Boruto, or Future, and I'm pretty sure Shinobi didn't get that far.

Tied up.

>>2277149
this

E It is!
Writing.
Also how does it feel to have captured a Sanin now? That's a big step up from Akatsuki.

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>>2277153
>>2277159

Well thanks, have an angel

>>2277133
>B. "Hey so would you mind coming back to the village and curing uncle Susumu of a curse? Please."
And if that doesn't work
>E. Write-in
"Then I guess you still experiment on small children, skin puppies, and eat the hopes and dreams of other people?"

>>2277133

Man i lover Nercy

Also supporting this:>>2277149

>>2277165
>That's a big step up from Akatsuki
Pain or Tobi would be a bigger catch. Wait... is Tobi also a girl in this? Madara was, Tobi would have to be, or else who's he going to say he is? Izuna? Is Izuna Tomoki?

>>2277147
Jounin also didn't get that far.

>>2277165
Not just captured but covered her in sticky white goo.

>>2277155
Didn't read future, pretty sure she was in bort but since it's past that point it doesn't matter, don't remember much of leaf ninja quest aside from bullshit but I'll believe you.

>>2277177

You know, the more I think on it since I caused this. I've come to the conclusion that Tobi's a crossdresser in this. I sometimes regret that roll too

>>2277184
>since it's past that point it doesn't matter
I know, I was cheating with Bort and Future. Itachi became Hokage in Leaf Ninja, but I think Jiraiya did as well, all I know for sure is that Laze has gone on to much better things and I'm eagerly awaiting the second installment of his Loli Pissing Quest.

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I wonder how many jiraya point we got by showing him a scene of Tsunade being covered in sticky spider web.

>>2277192
Seriously? That's what he's running now?

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"Yep, so how about you? Still eating puppies or skinning babies or something else that's fucked up?" You ask, picking your nose.

Ol' Doc Ironblood grins at you through the screen. "Oh I've moved on from trivial matters such as needing actual physical sustenance, I receive all the nutrients I need from the chakra around me." He holds his hands out, laughing like...well the mad man he is. "But nononono, enough about me. Sinchu, word through the grapevine is that a certain balding old man recently did away with Orochimaru." Ironblood's grin turns nasty, he leans against the monitor. "Tell me, was it Susumu? Did he really end that insufferable snake's life?"

"Yeah." You answer, earning a happy coo from Ironblood. "He also ended up getting a curse from him too."

"Oh poo, that Orochimaru always did have a habit of letting things go." Ironblood leans back, twiddling with his fingers. "And I'm guess that you need me to remove that curse from ol' Susumu then, hmmm?"

"That would be the plan, yeah." You say. You look back behind you, noticing Jiraiya pulling Tsunade's strung up body down and putting her over his shoulder. "So what do ya' say, wanna' come save a family members life instead of ruining it this time?"

Ironblood's smirk turns into a small frown. "Are they still blaming me for Hikigaya's condition. Pish posh, it's not entirely my fault, I merely...adjusted a few wires he had in there." He points to his head. "But back to Susumu, I do believe I'd be willing to assist him, if only for the opportunity to hear him thank me. However, nothing in this world is free Sinchu."

"What do you want?" You ask.

"The Box." He leans forward again, that grin all but gone. "Not complete ownership mind you, but a mere hour with it. There's something I need to know from Tesshin boy, something that's been nagging at my veins and spinal cord. That's what I want, just give me that, and I'll save your previous uncle."

>A. "Yes."
>B. "No. In fact hell no."
>C. "Fuck you! Help him or I'll reach into this fucking drone and drag you out by your balls!"
>D. "I just captured a Sanin, okay? What makes you think I can't track you down and capture you too?"
>E. Write-in

>>2277213
Made in Abyss is a quality series you FUCK.

>>2277214
>E. Write-in
"You're not going to run away with Tesshin or turn him on us even more, are you?"

>>2277227
I'm only a couple episodes in but that's about what I've heard to expect.

>>2277227
>or turn him on us even more
L-lewd.

>>2277214
>A. "Yes."

>>2277233
It's pretty good but the loli pees herself a lot.

I can't wait to get to the anilingus toilet but I doubt Laze will let us go that deep.

>>2277214

>D. "I just captured a Sanin, okay? What makes you think I can't track you down and capture you too?"

>>2277237

That's a pretty bad idea

>>2277214
>B
>D

>>2277238
Well I'm going to dig out my bottle of rum and go a few episodes deeper tonight.

D wins.
Okay then. Give me some 1d100's
DC 70 to catch his interest, and DC 93 to actually scare him.

>>2277249

You're gonna need that rum, because it gets pretty FUN

Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>2277255
Well here goes nothing

Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>2277255

Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>2277255

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>2277255
Time to ruin it

Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>2277255

Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>2277255
Watch my spooking skills.

Well he's interested. Okay last post of the night, I feel like having SOMETHING to eat today.

Also again, good job on capturing Tsunade, Jiraiya is very pleased with you. But you also gave Nart the odd feeling in his jumpsuit, so take that as you will.

>>2277277
Was it us or Iruka that's having the talk with him?

>>2277277
Didn't you have your fag-fried steaks earlier?

File: tumblr_m2z5ottGWU1qcpn0mo(...).gif (458 KB, 500x289)

458 KB GIF

You lean up against the monitor, grabbing it and pressing your face right up in there, getting uncomfortably close. "I just captured a damn Sanin, what makes you think I can't track you down and do the same to you?"

Ironblood grins, but it's an evil one. "Like a rabbit coming into the maws of a wolf....I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE!" He shouts, giggling with glee as you hear him start typing up something.

You blink in confusion. "What? What challenge?"

"The challenge you have just set forth!" Ironblood shouts. Suddenly a set of numbers appears on the screen, and you realize they're latitude and longitude. "Behold, my current whereabouts. If you truly wish for me to help your precious Susumu, you must come here and take me to him!"

Naruto pipes up, blinking in surprise. "So it's a-"

"EXACTLY LITTLE BLONDE BOY!" Ironblood presses his face right up against the screen, all those pearly whites of his shining for you. "It's an Assault on Ironblood Castle! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!~" With that the video cuts out, but Ironblood's voice still cackles away as the drone flies off.

"Well shit." You say, turning back to Jiraiya. "I don't suppose you'd be up for, uh, that?"

Jiraiya just shrugs, slapping his hand against Tsunade's butt. "Sure, why not."

"Awesome."

>END
>Hope ya'll had fun
>Any questions?

>>2277285
You, Iruka, and Kakashi I believe. Different levels of experience.
>>2277295
Fucker it's air fryed, and again look up the goddamn way they're cooked! Besides that was yesterday.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmjWKRJZtQQ

>>2277311
Thanks for running, but you haven't had real fried food until you've beaten, dressed, and rendered the oil yourself.

>>2277316
IT'S NOT FRYING GODDAMMIT!

>>2277311

This was bretty gud Moon.

>Any questions?

How much approval did we get from Jiraya?

>Jiraiya just shrugs, slapping his hand against Tsunade's butt

We are Jiraya's best pupil. Also what happend to shizune? Did she get webbed to?

>>2277330
Shizune got SO much web. Luckily she can still breathe, it's just really tight against her, showing off all her curves.
Pig's fine though.
>>2277328
Well he doesn't think you're an idiot any longer. In fact he's starting to think you're competent.

>>2277322
I know, but that makes it even less manly. You're some kind of nancy boy.

>>2277311
Good run as always. Guess we'll have to rally the father figure friends when we get back to the leaf.

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Yo straight up, I really had a blast running tonight. Things went perfectly, and now you've got a crazy relative to fight and his fucked up castle.

By the way pic related is Ironblood Castle.

>>2277341

>Jiraya's starting to think we're competent

Thank fuck for great rolls and you giving options

So do you have an actual name for Herr Doktor ready? Or are we going to get stuck with hearing that name over and over again?

>>2277367
I mean, we have two Sannin with us.

File: giphy[1].gif (442 KB, 250x375)

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>>2277375
>I mean, we have two Sannin with us.
It's cute how you think that matters.

>>2277367

So, does this mean that he has the voice of Christian Bale? If so, then I better get some Huey Lewis and The News