>>2298450

>B. Throw your combat knife at it. Less risk of blood splatter. (84)

>>2298450
>>B. Throw your combat knife at it. Less risk of blood splatter. (84)

>>2298450
WTF is Johnny's hairstyle?
>B. Throw your combat knife at it. Less risk of blood splatter. (84)
RIP Arlo.

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B it is, roll me them dice ya'll, 1d100.
>>2298496
It's 80's as fuck is what it is.

Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>2298499
Here goes nothing...

Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>2298499

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>2298499

Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>2298499
F

Yea he's dead. Might be for the best the fuck is crazy.

After this we need to talk to Wolf and tell him he needs to get his bloodthirst under control and use actual fucking weapons when fighting aliens, not tiny combat knives. Get a fucking mono-molecular katana or chainsword or something at the very least if you want to pull that shit.

Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>2298510
>>2298509
>>2298501
>>2298500
Hey, at least you guys tried, I mean as long as I don't get a four on this roll he's still got a chance to live.

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You smirk a bit, pulling out your combat knife as you eye up the distance. "Stand back and watch this Tee-Eight, you're about to witness something completely bad ass."

"I would not recommend this course of action." The giant fucker says.

"Why, afraid I'll hurt Arlo?" You ask.

"More likely that you will hurt your pride." Tee-Eight responds.

You frown, but shake it off. You've done this plenty of times before, and hell half of those times you were drunk off your ass with a pretty lady in your lap. "I got this." You say, tossing the knife from your hand just like you had before. Of course the targets you usually aim for don't move, which is exactly what the snake fucker does, causing your knife to go sailing past him and bounce harmlessly off a tree. "I don't got this."

"Hisss!" You watch as the snake starts slithering away, dragging Arlo's body right behind it.

"Fuckin' c'mon!" You shout angrily, jumping up and chasing after the thing.

"What do you wish me to do?" Tee-Eight asks in a monotone voice.

>A. "Fucking help me catch this thing!"
>B. "Watch Wolf, make sure his ass doesn't do anything funny."
>C. "Go check on the others, make sure they're okay!"
>D. Write-in

(Hey sorry guys, it's gonna' be a bit before I can respond, turns out a Phantasm Movie Marathon I thought got called off is still on, so gonna' go do that. Peace.)

>>2298562

>A

Well, alright then Moonman

>>2298562
>A

>>2298562
>A

>>2298562
>A. "Fucking help me catch this thing!"
On the bright side, we’ve really sorted out the troublesome elements of the team

Rolled 23, 86, 92, 16, 84 = 301 (5d100)

Alright guys I'm back, watched the first two Phantasm movies, they were a blast. Also "The Ball is back!" is such a great tagline.

Roll me 2d100's, one for you and one for Tee-Eight
Beat my highest roll.

Rolled 88, 76 = 164 (2d100)

>>2299726

Rolled 93, 72 = 165 (2d100)

>>2299726
Dude the Phantasm series is dope.

Rolled 55, 5 = 60 (2d100)

>>2299726

Rolled 40, 2 = 42 (2d100)

>>2299726
aww fuck

Good job, I mean really good job.

Writing.

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>>2299752

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"Fucking help me catch the damn thing!" You shout, rushing after the snakemorph as fast as your legs will carry you. Honestly you'd probably be moving a whole lot faster if you dropped the flamethrower, but there's no way in hell you're letting go of this bad boy. You watch as the snakemorph seems to notice you chasing after it, as it stops for a moment and turns to face you. A glob of acidic spit shoots from the monsters mouth, but you roll underneath it just in time. The snakemorph shoots at you again, but this time Tee-Eight is there to block it with his arm, the acid eating through his fake skin and showing the metal endoskeleton underneath. "Nice save." You say, thanking the big guy.

"It's what I do." Tee-Eight replies, stomping forward. The snakemorph realizes it's go no offensive capabilities against someone like Tee-Eight, and so begins running again. Tee-Eight however, has other plans. He takes his rifle and starts shooting spots ahead of the snakemorph, causing it to stop and turn. He's basically guiding the thing where he wants it.

You use this opportunity to rush forward again, catching up to the beast and doing the only thing you know to do when faced with a snake. You slice it's fucking head off. "Looks like you didn't make the cut asshole." You say, cutting off the beasts head before pinning its body to the ground, pointing the blood splatter away from you and Arlo. "Tee-Eight, help me get this thing off of him." Between the two of you, you manage to untangle the snakemorph's body from around Arlo's neck, but he's still passed out, or worse. "Shit shit shit."

>Roll 1d100 to resuscitate
>DC 80

Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>2299777

Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>2299777

Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>2299777

>>2299784
>>2299786
Thank you Baby Jesus.

Alright, passed. You successfully revived Arlo.

Writing.

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>>2299808

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It takes you a few moments, but after a bit of effort you have Arlo wide eyes and gasping for breath, looking around him like he doesn't quite know where he is. "Arlo....ARLO!" You shout, grabbing the man by the shoulders. He focuses on you, eyes blinking rapidly before he winches at the pain in his shoulder. "Calm the fuck down man, you just been through some shit and I ain't about to let you start freakin' out on me again."

"I-what happened?" He coughs out, rubbing his sore throat. You can still see the bruises from where the snakemorph had choked him. "Last thing I remember is you burning that cut."

"Snake lookin' Xenomorph showed up, tried to slither off with ya'." You explain as you stand up, offering the man a hand. Looking behind you can see Tee-Eight is back with Wolf, who looks more than pissed off at you. You jab a finger at him. "You and me are gonna' have a big fuckin' conversation when we get back to the ship asshole."

"I'm lookin' forward to it." Wolf shoots back, baring his fangs. Tee-Eight steps a bit closer to him, causing the vampire to clam up. God it's great to have Tee-Eight with ya'.

"MacReady, what should we do about the other squad?" Tee-Eight asks you. "It has been some time since they went off, and there has been no calls on the radio."

"Hmm."

>A. "Take Wolf and Arlo back to the drop ship, I'll go check it out."
>B. "Take Wolf back to the drop ship, me and Arlo will check it out."
>C. "We'll all go check it out."
>D. Write-in

>>2299832
>>A. "Take Wolf and Arlo back to the drop ship, I'll go check it out."

>>2299832
>>C. "We'll all go check it out."

>>2299832
>C. "We'll all go check it out."

>>2299832

>C. "We'll all go check it out."

Strength in numbers

Mmmmhmmm, interesting.
Okay, here's what I need you to do. The other squad was doing fine on my earlier rolls, so DC I'll be asking for now won't be insane.
Roll me 1d4, and the first four rolls have to add up to 5 or more.
Roll.

Rolled 3 (1d4)

>>2299867

Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>2299867

Rolled 1 (1d4)

>>2299867

Great job, nobody died again.

Good thing this was an easy mission.

Writing.

>>2299910
So much shit went wrong in this "easy" mission.

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"Fuck it, we're all going," You look at Wolf once more, before shaking your head in disgust and moving on. The four of you trek for a bit before you come across the ancient looking ruins. Surprisingly, you see the other squad is much more relaxed than you would've expected. Johnny has a Xenomorph propped up, holding it's dead body in his hands as he has Odin take a picture of the whole thing. Albert's off looking at some strange looking markings on one of the pillars, and Lulu is busy cleaning her gun, a bit of dirt and muck covering her face but all in all looking good. "Shit, I guess you guys got the easy location." You say, getting everyone's attention.

"It was fucking crazy sir!" Johnny says, jumping excitedly. "This monkey lookin' fucker showed up, and it tried to leap at Lulu and tear her face off, but Odin grabbed it by it's tail and smashed that thing against one of the pillars, blood and guts went everywhere!"

Odin shrugs. "Drawing my gun would've taken longer."

"All in all it was a pretty easy bug hunt," Lulu says, finishing up the last of her cleaning before she smiles at you. "By the look of Arlo's neck and the robot's face and arm, I'm guessing it wasn't so easy for you guys though?"

"Ran into some sort of gorillamorph," You explain. "Fucker was big and tough, if I didn't have the Needler I'm bettin' that it would've killed us all." You admit. You look back over to Albert, who's still examining those strange markings. "Hey Al, something caught your attention there?"

"We need to leave." He says after a moment, turning around and walking briskly to wards you. "Now."

"What's the big deal, we took care of all the bugs, mission's done." Johnny says, his attitude a bit more cocky than you would've liked.

"What's wrong Al? You think there's more bugs on the island." You ask.

"This isn't just an island," He says, honest fear in his eyes. "It's hunting grounds."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SGJDrVJzMI

>A. "Group up! Back to back now!"
>B. "Nobody move a muscle."
>C. "Everybody drop their weapons, now."
>D. Remain quiet.
>E. Write-in

>>2299948

>C. "Everybody drop their weapons, now."

>>2299948
>>C. "Everybody drop their weapons, now."

>>2299948
>>A. "Group up! Back to back now!"
>A. "Group up! Back to back now!"

Okay then, I need some 1d100's please.
Three DC's to beat. 65, 75, 85.

Good luck.

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>2300015
Oh god

Rolled 32, 24, 15 = 71 (3d100)

>>2300015
Ready to die.

Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>2300015

>>2300018
Wooops, wrong dice... Good luck guys

Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>2300015

>>2300021

Oh no no no, you roll one now boyo

>>2300023
>>2300019
>>2300018
>>2300017
K. I can't read what is coming next.
Our team is going to get slaughtered and they will blame us because we made them drop their weapons.
It's a good thing T8 is a living weapon.

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>2300015

Mmmm, okay then. This makes things a little more difficult.

Writing.

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You know that sound, you've heard once or twice before when you've had to do missions on worlds with creatures so deadly that they required a fucking rocket launcher to take down. The clicking, it's like it's getting into every fiber of your being. "Everybody drop your weapons, now." You say as calmly as possible, slipping off the flamethrower and tossing the Needler to the ground. Albert, Odin, Arlo, and Tee-Eight follow suit, with Albert looking especially sweaty. However Johnny, Lulu, and Wolf just frown, looking around themselves for the source of the sound. "Goddammit I said-"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSqw9Yn_RMQ

You don't get much further as you feel the sharp edge of a blade being pressed against your throat, and judging by the others the same thing is happening to them. A second later you see multiple dreadlock sporting hunters appear around you, their cloaking devices turned off. Johnny freaks out, tries to take a shot at one of them, but ends up with an elbow to the face for his troubles, knocking the kid on his ass as one of the hunters plants his foot on the boys chest.

Lulu is more sensible, holding her hands up and dropping the gun, but frowning the whole time. That doesn't stop one of the hunters from aiming his shoulder canon at her though.

The biggest problem is wolf though. "You fuckin' yellow bellied cowards." He growls, his face contorting till his brow is more pronounced, his eyes yellowish and his fangs showing. "You think I'm scared!"

The hunters communicate with each other for a moment, and then two of them aim their shoulder canons at Wolf, the three red dots for targeting showing up on his head.

"Wait!" You shout, trying to defuse the situation. "S-stop man." One of the bigger Yautja steps forward, examining you for a moment before he messes with something on his wrist panel.

"You...trespassed...here." He says, his voice sounding distorted. "Kill...our prey...consequences now." He points to Wolf, who growls back. "We take...this one....hunt him instead." He then steps forward, getting right up in your face. "Unless you...think you can....stop us."

>A. Punch him. "Nobody interfere."
>B. "Nah man, he's all yours." (Wolf is removed from the squad)
>C. "I'll fight you for him."
>D. "Alright, you see the big guy right there? He can tear through you all like you're cardboard. You know what cardboard means? It means weak, bitch ass, losers. So bring it on asshole."(90)
>E. Write-in

>>2300087
I cast reverse psychology.
"So you want to hunt a weak and injured blood sucker? I mean, that seems WAY beyond you guys, but if kicking an undead toddler is your idea of a good hunt, go ahead."

>>2300087
>>D. "Alright, you see the big guy right there? He can tear through you all like you're cardboard. You know what cardboard means? It means weak, bitch ass, losers. So bring it on asshole."(90)

Alright, we'll keep the vote open, I'm heading off to bed.

>>2300087
>>C. "I'll fight you for him."

>>2300113
Changing to
>>C. "I'll fight you for him."

Awesome.
Give me some 1d100's, DC ??

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>2300423

Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>2300423

Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>2300426
Hol Up let me ruin this roll with a 1 hnnng

YASSSSSSSS
LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN IN SPACE IS BACK

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>>2300434

Excellent. Tomorrow you beat the shit out of Yautja. Now go to sleep.

>>2300454
We gonna make a Predator commit sudoku and Johnny is gonna miss it, ayy lmao.

>>2300454
Damn son how does he manage that. They are so much stronger physically than humans.

Fuck it, I'm excited about this, writing right now.

>>2300087
Look at that skinny manlet on the left.

>>2300467
You leave for several hours without warning and say you're gonna stop for the night twice. Stop teasing me like this.

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You frown, looking over at Wolf for a moment and seeing the angry, yet frightened look on his face. He knows he doesn't stand a chance against these guys, these supreme hunters. Hell, a couple of the Yautja even chuckling lightly. Wolf may be a complete asshole, but he's your asshole, and you'll be damned if you let a bunch of crab mouth lookin' mother fuckers take him. "I'll fight you for him." You say, causing the chuckling hunters to silence, and Albert to shake his head in disbelief.

The leader, the biggest and baddest mother fucker of them all standing right in front of you, tilts his head, as if considering your offer. "Agreed." And he swings at you faster than anything you've ever fuckin' seen, those blades on his gauntlet comin' right for your head.

You know you don't stand a chance head-to-head with this guy, hell you doubt you'd fare that well against the weakest one of the group, they're just too big and mean for you. However, there is one way you could turn this around in your favor. You duck underneath the leader's strike, at the same time bringing that arm over your shoulder while bringing your arm across his body. You use the momentum from his throw, lifting his body off the ground, twisting until you slam him, back first, into the jungle floor with a powerful slam, knocking the wind out of him as well as that helmet off.

To be honest, the pissed off alien face staring at you is a lot easier to deal with than that mask. He takes another swipe at you, but you roll away from that one as well, and before he can get up you grab his legs...

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>>2300486
...and you slip one leg between them before crossing his ankles and rolling the leader onto his belly, where you begin to bend backwards, putting the fuckin' sharpshooter onto this goddamn alien hunter.

"Baise-moi." You hear Albert mumble, and you're aware of just how many people are watching the event in front of them unfold.

"Give up?" You ask, straining every ounce of strength you can to hold the lock on the creature. He's bigger though, and beginning to push himself up. Nope. You slam down on him with your ass, knocking him back down as you bend back some more. "GIVE UP?!"

"NO!" He shouts, in that distorted voice of his.

>Give me some 1d100's
>DC 85 to make him tap

Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>2300497
Unleash the ancestral spirit of Macho Man Randy Savage on his green-blooded ass.

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Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>2300497
Holy fuck.

Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>2300497

>>2300503
>>2300507
>>2300508
Hmmm, one last roll. Better pray it passes. You don't wanna' have to deal with a Yautja that no-sells.

Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>2300510
MACHO MAN!!!

Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>2300497
leeroy jenkins

Oh boy, this ain't gonna' be pretty.

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You try, you really, really fuckin' try, but this big motherfucker is just too much for you. As you try to put the sharpshooter on even more, the Yautja leader lets out a primal roar before he powers out, slipping one leg from your grasp and using the other to swing you off of him. You go flying a few feet before you land face first in some mud. Just as you pick yourself back up, you feel the hunters hand on the back of your head, pushing you right back down into the muck. "Do you...give up?" He asks, in a mocking tone.

You struggle in his grasp, desperately trying to break free so that you can breathe, but it's like fighting against a goddamn forklift. Then, just seconds before you pass out, the hunter pulls you up and tosses you away, your lungs and head aching from the lack of oxygen. You manage to sit up in time to avoid a boot stomp from the fucker, rolling away before he ends up kicking you anyways. "Do you...give up?" He asks again, that freaky face of his grinning at you.

"MacReady, I believe now would be a good time to give up." Albert tells you.

Fuck that. You let out your own roar, and rush forward to tackle the Yautja, catching him in a spear before the both of you are thrown to the jungle floor. You manage to climb on top giving him a solid punch to the face and-....and he laughs it off. That bladed gauntlet nearly slices your ear off, but you manage to grab that big arm of his and slam it back down, smashing the thing to pieces against a rock. This seems to piss him off a bunch, as he knocks you off again, letting out a roar. You're on your ass, and he's heading right to wards you now with death in his eyes.

>A. Surrender
>B. Dodge
>C. Use the momentum to flip him over you.
>D. Kip up, then give him some Sweet Chin Music.
>E. Write-in

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>>2300532
>>D. Kip up, then give him some Sweet Chin Music.
Fuck, lets do it.

Alright, ten minutes are up, give me some 1d100's.
DC 85
But 95+ counts as Crit.
ROLL!

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Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>2300564
WIN

Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>2300546

This is a good time for MacReady to reveal he is actually part-Saiyan. That's why T8 gave him the pill. He's gonna have a heart attack just like Goku.

Gonna' play some OVerwatch, be back in thirty.

I'm also closing this tab which means that if certain rolls happen and then get deleted I won't notice

Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>2300564

>>2300532
Fuck yes. This is my shit here.
>catch him with a forearm shiver
>tune up the band
>SCM
>climb a tree
>elbow drop from the top branch in combo
>1..2..3

Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>2300564
Try number two.

Ahem, okay I'm back.
....Oh look, you guys Crit'd. Good job.

Writing.

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You react mostly on instinct at this point, your childhood dream of becoming WWE Champion and then taking on Robo Taker flashing back before your eyes. You kip up, the motion completely perfect, the hunter is mere feet away from you, charging at you like a mad beast.

Time to put on some music.

You super kick the shit out of the Yautja's face, your boot slamming right into that ugly mug so hard you actually break one of those weird ass pincer things around its mouth. Not only that, but you knock him right off his feet and cause him to do a complete 180 in the air before he lands face first in the mud, knocked out cold.

For a moment, there's silence, everyone around you can't believe what just happened, it's like Jesus Christ just showed up and super kicked Satan. You catch your breath, looking around, before you slowly raise your arms. "Can you dig that sucka'?" You say, pointing to one of the Yautja's. The one you singled out, looks confused, even under the mask. "Now give me my goddamn vampire, and get the fuck out of my way. We're heading home."

>END
>Hope ya'll had fun
>We'll probably run tomorrow.
>What'd ya'll think of the quest?
>Any questions?

>>2300667
Nice. Curious to see how Wolf will treat us after what we did for him.
I could learn some stuff from you. I run a predator quest, Hunter Quest, and you update way faster than me.

>>2300683
I took a lot of creative writing classes in high school, and I'm pretty fast when typing.

That said, the biggest thing to improve your posting time is to have a clear idea in mind of what you want to happen, and work the votes into that.

>>2300667
Thanks for running bro.

And thank you for ignoring Chaos' faggotry.

Also inb4 the crabface we beat is a female and goes super tsundere and/or yandere for R.J. and want's to ride his slim jim.

Captcha is Bicycle.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GugsCdLHm-Q

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>>2300686
>Also inb4 the crabface we beat is a female and goes super tsundere and/or yandere for R.J. and want's to ride his slim jim.
Hmmmmm

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Oh also, since the squad did such a good job of not dying, I think they deserve a little treat.

Luckily there's a space bar floating around nearby that's pretty good, so long as you play by the rules....

>>2300686

>And thank you for ignoring Chaos' faggotry.

I didn't even do anything

>>2300686
Females don't hunt at least not in the shit which I have read. They run politics at home because the males say "fuck that, I have shit to kill"

>>2300667
Thanks for running Moon, cya tomorrow!
Glad we picked the easy mission, had the difficulty been a little higher we would have dead teamates already.
Does T-800 gets reward too? Does he even needs money?

>>2300697
We need to find someone who will put some fucking skin back onto his endoskeleton.

>>2300698
That's something the science pervert we didn't pick would have been good for...
Whatever I'll see you guys tomorrow

So what do you guy's what to train Johnny in?

I think we should train up his intelligence. Kid need's better mental reflexes and just common sense.

Hell, if he survives the other two missions we should dump his stat points into intelligence, make him the Batman of the group. The smart inventor Batman, not the stealthy ninja Batman or the MARTHA!!! Batman.

>>2300702
Agreed, pump it all into intelligence. And I mean ALL. There doesn't seem to be many characters with S rank stats, and the group lacks a bit in that one.

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>>2300689
When do we bump into Three claw and his pals?

>>2300904
Three Claw was soo cool.
Well, except again'st sharks.

>>2301167
Someday, he will have his revenge...
But what are the odds of him and his crew showing up? They were all fairly reasonable by predator standards.

Ay yo any of you cool dudes up for some late night questin'?

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>>2306488
Yea, go.

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After a relatively eventful first mission for your squad, the only thing you wanna' do right now is head straight for the showers and just wash yourself in the hottest fuckin' water possible, and ease up these aching muscles of yours. Maybe invite Lulu in for a splash as well. Of course things never go that well. "Johnny," You say calmly, eyeing the kid as he bounces excitedly in his seat across from you. "Something tells me you're excited."

"Oh man sir, hell yes!" He says, punching his palm before grinning again. "That was awesome! The training they give you in basic ain't nothing compared to actually blastin' one of those bugs right in the face in person."

You shake your head but grin a bit at the kids enthusiasm. "That so? Hey Odin," You call your local giant Russian, whose currently cleaning his rifle. He looks up, sitting up straight. "How'd our little Johnny do out there?"

Odin blinks, then shrugs. "He survived, this is commendable in of itself."

Johnny frowns a bit. "Aw come on man, at least tell him about the cool shit I did!"

"Cool shit?" You ask, raising a brow.

>As was stated before, with Johnny on your team you get the ability to upgrade his stats by 1.0 point after every successful mission he's a part of.
>His stats are currently as thus.
Combat: 1.0(D)
Stealth: 1.0(D)
Intelligence: 1.0(D)
>Now, decide how you wish to spend that 1.0

>>2306505
Well the other two readers were set on raising his Int, so, I'll vote for that.

>>2306505
Whole point on int.

>>2306505

1.0 on Intelligence.


We're gonna make him the Amadeaus Cho of our Squad

MMmkay right on, writing.

"Yeah man!" Johnny shouts. "When those bug fuckers first showed up, I fuckin' nailed one right in the knee, pow pow!" Johnny mimes shooting his gun, the hugest smile on his face. "I figured hey, if they can't move about as much it'll make them easier to hit."

"Huh." You say, honestly surprised. "Smart thinking Johnny, keep that up and you'll go far."

"Sweet." He says, holding his fist out for you. You stare at it for a moment before bumping it. No sense in leaving the kid hanging. "Although that ain't nearly as cool as the shit you did today, you totally kicked the shit out of that Yautja sir!"

"That was a rather impressive feat MacReady," Albert says. "Most men would have lost their lives for attempting something so...brash."

You get the feeling he wanted to say something way less polite. "Hey, it's not like I planned any of that shit, just did what came naturally to me." You'd rather not mention the ache in your right foot currently from where it slammed into the Yautja's face.

The rest of the trip back to the space ship, ol' Two For Flinching. Part of you feels like that's a weird name for ship, but then again you did just kick the shit out of a warrior hunter, so fuck it. "Welcome back sir, I'm hoping everything went okay down there?" Freddie's dulcet tones purr across the intercom.

"Better than it could've been." You say, stepping off the drop ship and stretching. "Any news I should know about?"

"You got a message from Sergeant Major Keller, as well as one that was apparently for your eyes only." You can hear some typing on a keyboard. "Also there's a station that's only a few clicks away, they've apparently got a pretty impressive bar on there as well."

"Well hell Freddie, what are you waiting for? Full power to the engines." You grin, the idea of drowning your sorrows in booze with your squad sounding pretty good right now.

>A. Check your message from Keller
>B. Check the one that was for your eyes only.
>C. Hit those showers!
>D. Talk with one of the squad(Who?)
>E. Write-in

>>2306610
>D. Talk with one of the squad(Nathaniel Wolf)
I am eager for this conversation.
Though MacReady needs to read that message and take a shower before he arrives at the bar.

>>2306610
>>A. Check your message from Keller
>>B. Check the one that was for your eyes only.

>>2306629
Fine I'll go with this just to get things rolling.

>>2306634
Cool, but I'm totally down with chatting with Wolf about teamwork and dieting.

>>2306610
>>A. Check your message from Keller

Checking messages. Writing.

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As much as you'd like to take that hot shower, you ought to check those messages first. "Freddie, get me some tunes going, I need something...relaxing."

You can hear Freddie's grin over the intercom. "You got it sir."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Od6hY_50Dh0

Once you make it back to your private quarters, you pull up your messages on your holo screen. Personally, you'd rather just use a reliable, physical desktop, but top brass apparently think moving shit with your hands is fancy or some shit. You open up Keller's message and are...more than pissed.

MacReady, hoping you get this in time. Turns out that jungle planet is a Yautja hunting reserve. Apparently the official paper work got lost in a fire or something when the coffee maker broke down. Anyways, shouldn't be too big a problem, those dreadlock wearing fuckers rarely show up there anymore anyways.

"Wonderful." You groan, rubbing your face. You decide to check the other message, and are a little surprised that you have to actually let it scan you before it'll open. "Hmm." Once the message opens, you find it's actually an audio file. You press play.

"Ah, mister MacReady, I do hope you receive this recording while you're in a good mood, I have a bit of a proposition for you." Wait, that voice, you've heard it before. "My name is John Hammond, I'm sure you've heard of me before and my past ventures into bringing the past to life. Before, back when I still had my human body, I had thought that dinosaurs were truly the most remarkable of creatures, and I still do, however there are so man, many specimens in the universe, some of which I've been collecting and breeding over the years, that my attention has turned to the stars, rather than the dirt. As you may know my previous attempts at creating locations where people could view these specimens were...less than fruitful. As such, I would very much appreciate a veteran such as yourself to visit the site in which these creatures are to be put on display, and give it a throughout examination. You'd of course be payed handsomely. I do so await your reply." And iwth that the recording ends.

"Holy shit, John Hammond himself." You whistle, amazed how popular you're getting.

>A. Send a reply back, accepting his invitation.
>B. Decline his invitation.
>C. Put it on hold, and do something else(What?)
>D. Write-in

>>2306658
>C. Put it on hold, and do something else(What?)
We can think about it while we do other shit.
Go take a shower, MacReady.

>>2306658
>>C. Put it on hold, and do something else(What?)
Taking a goddamn shower and getting the crew's input.
They better fucking say yes.

Alright, C wins. We'll get to asking the team in a bit.
Writing.

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Now to get into that damn shower, your muscles are practically screaming at you as it is. You grab a towel and some of your special conditioner, it ain't easy keepin' a beard this nice easy after all. You make it to the showers and low and behold, turns out you ain't the only one there. Lulu's here too. You take the moment to just stare at her, watching the water slide down her soft, yet toned figure. And you thought the fight with the Yautja got your blood pumpin'.

Lulu finally notices you, gazing at you with a welcome smile. "Enjoying the view MacReady."

"More than I probably should." You admit, eyes trailing up and down Lulu's body again before you step into the showers, standing underneath the hot water with Lulu just a few feet away. "What about you, like what ya' see?"

"Hmm?" She stares at you, almost critiquing you. You frown a bit, looking down yourself and not really seeing anything THAT dismissive, aside from maybe a bit of a beer gut. "The beard."

"What?" You reply, raising your eyebrows.

"I think you'd look better without the beard." Lulu says, sauntering over to you and leaning close to you, running her fingers through your beard. "All that busy facial hair blocking that pretty face, it's enough to make a girl cry."

>A. "Sure, wanna' come back to my quarters and help me shave it?"
>B. "Sorry sweet cheeks, but this beard ain't goin' anywhere. Now you can either deal with it or scoot your ass on out of here."
>C. "Ya' sure? Maybe I could convince ya' that nuzzlin' up with a beard this purty can be...fun?"
>D. Turn on the cold water. "Ain't got time for fraternizing Lulu, keep it in check."
>E. Write-in

>>2306703
>>B. "Sorry sweet cheeks, but this beard ain't goin' anywhere. Now you can either deal with it or scoot your ass on out of here."
No way fag, the beard is cool as fuck.

>>2306658
>John fucking Hammond
This will be interesting...

>>2306703
>B. "Sorry sweet cheeks, but this beard ain't goin' anywhere. Now you can either deal with it or scoot your ass on out of here."

>>2306703
>A. "Sure, wanna' come back to my quarters and help me shave it?"

>>2306703
>B. "Sorry sweet cheeks, but this beard ain't goin' anywhere. Now you can either deal with it or scoot your ass on out of here."

>>2306703
>>B. "Sorry sweet cheeks, but this beard ain't goin' anywhere. Now you can either deal with it or scoot your ass on out of here."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lgpOdRXXu0

File: image-136[1].jpg (33 KB, 500x357)

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"Sorry sweet cheeks," You say, holding up an open palm and pushing Lulu's face back. "But this beard ain't goin' anywhere. Now you can either deal with it or scoot your ass on out of here." You finish by crossing your arms, showing exactly how serious you are.

Lulu blinks for a moment, then frowns before whirling around on her heels and walking out of there. "Asshole." She mutters.

You shrug, not the first time you've lost a woman over this beard, probably won't be the last. As you grab a bar of soap to start scrubbin' down, you notice something out of the corner of your eye. "...Odin?" You say in surprise, seeing the giant Russian bastard standing not a few feet away. "How long you been here?"

"...the hole time." He replies, shutting off his shower head and walking off.

Later, after everyone's gone and gotten themselves cleaned up, you all finally arrive at that space station with the bar Freddie was talking about. "Alright, so everybody ready?" You ask, adjusting your shirt.

Wolf, Tee-Eight, and Arlo are the only ones not coming, one of them can't even drink and the other two are still technically injured. The rest are hyped though. "You bet sir." Johnny says. Wait, he's old enough to drink right? Ahhh fuck it, who's gonna' stop you.

Freddie parks the ship on the side, and the walk tube thing or whatever hell it's called stretches out and connects to your port. Your group walks on in, and doors sliding open and revealing a jostling, jumping bar full of rock music and slightly drunk people. "Now this is the kind of atmosphere ya' want." You say, smiling as you look around. You take another step forward when a pudgy bouncer stops you. "Eh?"

"Sorry sir, but we're gonna' have to ask ya'll to relinquish any firearms you may have on you, establishment rules." He says, offering you a small smile.

>A. "Sounds fair."(Comply)
>B. "Yup."(Hand over guns, keep knife hidden)
>C. "I'm a Colonial Marine big boy, I ain't given' up my guns. So you can tell the guy in charge of security, however big and tall he may be, that I ain't giving them up."(Keep everything)
>D. "You sure you couldn't look the other way friend?"(Bribe)
>E. Write-in

>>2307397
>>B. "Yup."(Hand over guns, keep knife hidden)

>>2307397
B, but keep em on the ship.

>>2307397
>A. "Sounds fair."(Comply)

Right on, B wins.
Give me some 1d100's ya'll.
DC 60
Hidden DC: 90

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>2307566
>spoiler
worry.jpg

File: 1455098235302.jpg (40 KB, 337x425)

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>>2307568

>>2307566
Is there a minimum number of rolls you want?

Dont be pussies and roll.

Won't continue till we get 4 rolls, keep it going.

>>2307568

Rolled 50 (1d100)

Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>2307675
Rolling

Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>2307686

Awesome, we'll continue when I get off from work in like, 9 hours

Right, so, get ready.

>>2309091
do i have to dad i dont want to go to school today

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"Sounds fair." You say, handing over your firepower and motioning for your squad to do the same. Odin is more than reluctant, but complies. He's pretty much the only one who doesn't seem to enjoy the prospect of being without any form of defense. Of course, you ain't really got room to complain, since you still got your knife hidden on you.

"Cool," The pudgy bouncer says. "Ya'll can get your stuff back when ya' leave. Have a good time now at the Double Deuce." With that he jiggles off with all your crap.

"God I'm thirsty." Lulu says, heading straight for the bar. A couple alien lookin' dudes and gals take a long glance at her as she passes by them. Hmm, guess sexy is a universal thing.

"Oh man," Johnny says, staring straight ahead. You turn to see what he's looking at, and see that there appears to be some buxom, long necked grey lookin' alien with big ol' eyes. "Lookit' how...tall she is."

"Tall?" You question, lookin at the kid in confusion. "Can you believe this kid Al? Tits the size of your head and the kid's concerned with her height....Al?" You turn around, noticing Albert has gone and vanished. You see him soon enough, playing pool with a couple of bar patrons.

"Sir," Odin gets your attention. "Exactly...what am I supposed to do when I'm at a bar?"

Huh, that right Odin's a test tube baby, he ain't never really lived much of a care free life.

>A. "Find the first person that you find attractive, and try to hook up. Preferably drunk."
>B. "I dunno, order some drinks and just mingle."
>C. "Find the toughest guy here and challenge him to an arm wrestling contest. Show him who's boss."
>D. Write-in

>>2309108
>D. Get some drinks and play some pool with me.
The arm wrestling sounds like a great way for Odin to inadvertently kill someone.
If two men playing pool is too gay I'll go with B.

>>2309108
>>A. "Find the first person that you find attractive, and try to hook up. Preferably drunk."

>>2309108
>A. "Find the first person that you find attractive, and try to hook up. Preferably drunk."

>>2309108
>C. "Find the toughest guy here and challenge him to an arm wrestling contest. Show him who's boss."

A wins then.
Kindly roll me some 1d10's,

Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>2309192

>>2309192

Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>2309192
Fuggin phone

Rolled 8 (1d10)

>>2309192

Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>2309192

Interesting. Writing.

File: 47ca01d21c4c59d659beeea3a(...).jpg (32 KB, 664x832)

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"Just find the first person you find attractive, and try to hook up." You pause for a moment. "Preferably drunk." You give Odin a friendly slap on the back, and it feels like you just smacked a rock.

"...I will try." Odin says, scanning the room for a moment before his eyes settle on someone. "Target ac-....I've spotted someone." He walks off, with that same sure fire step of his that he always has.

"Alright then, let's see who our resident test tube baby likes." You say, taking a drink of a passing waitresses tray and taking a sip. You widen your eyes as you watch Odin approach some tentacle havin' alien babe. "That's...strange." You move in closer, sliding past crowds of people until you can hear the conversation.

"I find you very attractive." Odin says. You slap your own face in embarrassment.

"Oh?" The alien girl says, her voice sounding watery. "You're very forward. What do you find about me that is so attractive tall one?"

"Your...skin markings." Odin says, reaching out and tracing a finger across the girls face. Whoa ho, bold move. "They remind me of the fluids that used to fill my test tube."

Surprisingly the alien chick doesn't seemed turned off by this, in fact she even giggles. "You are very honest tall one. I am known as Noephie in your tongue, what is your designation."

"Odin. Noephie, would you like to join me at a table and...converse more." Odin asks.

"I would enjoy this, tall one Odin."

You watch as the pair walk off, silently nodding as you drink this swill called beer. You feel a tap on your shoulder, and you turn around to find...a very handsome man standing in front of you.
>Cont.

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>>2309308
"Howdy friend," The man says, holding his hand out for you to shake. "Names Dalton, I'm in charge of keeping the peace around here."

You frown a bit, but shake Dalton's hand regardless. "That so? Must be quite a job what with all the...patrons you get."

Dalton smiles, flashing you his perfect pearly whites. "That it is. Though people tend to act civil left on their own. Sometimes however," He looks away, and you follow his gaze to see Lulu currently harassing the bartender. "They can get a little out of hand. That's one of your crew, if I'm not mistaken."

"Yeah, she's one of mine. She's uh, currently in a rut cause I had to turn her down," You grin. "She wanted me to shave the beard."

Dalton nods. "Well, that is a mighty fine beard you got there, but I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't mind giving your friend there a little talkin' to so that thing don't escalate any further."

>A. "Sure thing Dalton, no problem."
>B. "Nah, she's fine."
>C. "Why don't you go talk to her, she's pretty pissed at me as it is."
>D. "You know, I'd thought you'd be taller?"
>E. Write-in

>>2309327
>>C. "Why don't you go talk to her, she's pretty pissed at me as it is."

>>2309327
>C. "Why don't you go talk to her, she's pretty pissed at me as it is."
Am I the only one reading some concealed sexual tension coming from Dalton?

>>2309327
>C. "Why don't you go talk to her, she's pretty pissed at me as it is."

Cool, roll me some d100's.
DC 75.
Gonna' call it a night, we'll pick up again tomorrow.

Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>2309458
Rolling.

Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>2309458

Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>2309458

Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>2309458

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"Why don't you go talk to her," You say, taking another swig of your beer. "She's pretty pissed at me as it is, I'd probably only make things worse."

Dalton raises a brow, but nods his head. "Well alright, I reckon I'll just have to give that a try." You watch as he walks off in those tight jeans of his. Whoa what the hell? Weird, anyways you watch Dalton walk up to Lulu, the two of them having a brief conversation. You watch as he jerks a thumb in your direction, and Lulu frowns at you before smirking. She says something else to Dalton, and he grins.

"Hmmm." You finish your beer, tossing it into the nearest trash can before you head over to Johnny again, who's sitting by himself with a depressed look on his face. "What's wrong kid, get shot down?"

He sighs. "Yeah, she said my neck wasn't nearly long enough to interest her."

You pat him on the back. "Hey it's all good, it's not the size of the neck, it's how you use it." You signal a waitress, and she brings you two more beers. You pass one to Johnny. "Now, tell me what you thought of your first bug hunt, did ya' enjoy it?"

"Oh yeah, it was rad sir." He answers, drinking his beer. "The squads totally awesome too, feels like I don't have to watch my six at all."

You're about to reply when a fist slams down onto the table, knocking over your beer. You look up, and some pig face lookin' asshole is glaring at you. At least you think he is, that face is fucked up. "Hey, beardy man!" He shouts at you, alcohol on his breath. "My friend here says he doesn't like you beardy man!" He jabs a thumb to his alien friend, who's got the biggest teeth you've ever seen. "Yeah, what do you think of that beardy man!"

>A. "Yeah well my buddy here doesn't like you!"
>B. "Hey hey now, let's all chill and act like adults and get drunk, what do ya' say?"
>C. BAR FIGHT!
>D. "Don't make me cut your friends arm off."
>E. Write-in

>>2310848
>A. "Yeah well my buddy here doesn't like you!"
>C. BAR FIGHT!

Either one works for me.

>>2310848
Offer him a drink
And keep one hand on our knife

>>2310848
>>B. "Hey hey now, let's all chill and act like adults and get drunk, what do ya' say?"

>>2310874
>>2311098
Alright, these are similar enough, and it's time to move on.
Give me some 1d100's.
DC 80.

Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>2311190
No balls
>>2310874
>>2311098

Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>2311190

>>2311205
No reason to pick fights that don't have to be fought.

Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>2311190

>>2311234
I know we don't have to fight, I just wanted a potentially epic bar fight.

Good roll though.

Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>2311190

Right on, writing.

Also to anyone who's wondering why the posts are so far and few between, this is my relaxation quest. I post when I feel like it and when I have time.

Anyways, writing.

File: anigif_enhanced-19636-142(...).gif (326 KB, 500x206)

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"Hey hey now," You say, moving one of your hands to your hidden knife. "Let's all chill and act like adults here," You signal for a waitress who brings you all some more beers. "And get completely drunk, what do ya' say? On me."

The big tooth alien lets out a guttural chuckles, grabbing a tall one and chugging down while his pig faced friend laughs. "Ha ha beardy face, my friend likes you now! Let us drink!"

For the next half hour you, Johnny, and your new friends continue to binge drink till you've killed your livers twice over. By the time it's closing time, you've also found out that Albert completely swindled a bunch of pool players out of their money, and that Odin even managed to get himself some alien digits. "How was she?" You ask your tall, Russian friend.

"I enjoyed her company." Is all he says, though he's actually smiling for once.

"Hey, anyone seen Lulu?" You ask, feeling a bit tipsy. Albert, who's the only one not to have drank anything all night, points you in a direction.

"Thanks Al!" You say drunkenly. You meander off, heading to wards the hallways outside of the bar. "Helloooo." You say quietly to yourself, as you see Lulu and Dalton making out with each other. "What have we here."

>A. Record this, you're a bit of a voyeur. And a pervert.
>B. "Hey there, rooooom for one more?" Lay on the charm.
>C. "You slut!"
>D. "Be careful Dalton! She's got space crabs!"
>E. Vomit everywhere.
>F. Write-in

>>2311421

>vomit everywhere

The ONLY option

>>2311421
Vomit everywhere seems the funniest but can't MacReady hold his liquor?
Maybe, right now, while we are totally sloshed is a good time to talk to Wolf.
Fuck it.
>E. Vomit everywhere.
MacReady isn't a voyeur and has no reason to make Lulu hate him more than she does the beard.

>>2311421
>>E. Vomit everywhere.

Vomit everywhere it is.
1d100's.
No DC, let's just see how amazing your puke can be!

Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>2311438
Dice gods, I call upon thee

Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>2311438
Sure

Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>2311438

Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>2311438
Dammit, should have just told them that it's closing time and we gotta get back to the boat.

Ehhhhhh. Could've been more impressive. Writing.

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"HurghK!" You try to cover your mouth, but the vomit that comes spilling out is too much, and you end up covering the floor at your feet in an entire nights amount of beer and tiny hot dogs. "Fuck." You say, wiping away at your mouth as Dalton and Lulu stare at you. "Lulu, we're headin' back to the ship, hurry the fuck up." You shoot Dalton a thumbs up before heading back.

The rest of the night is a blur, you know you make it back to your quarters, and that you somehow managed to end up completely naked by the feel of the sheets on your bare ass, but come morning you're more than a little confused by the fact that you're wearing lipstick. "...eh." You shrug, wiping it off and heading off to the mess hall. Everybody's here, well except for Wolf who's currently sleeping in his coffin. Freddie made everyone french toast and scrambled eggs. God bless this man. "Freddie, you are a complete life saver." You say, digging in to a hearty breakfast. "Are you sure you're not the real Freddie Mercury pretending to be a bot?"

Freddie smiles. "If I am, I'll never tell."

"Ohhhhh my head." Johnny groans, ignoring his eggs as he clutches his head. "It feels like a Yautja went up and bunched my brain."

"Hangovers kid, get used to 'em." You take a swig of OJ and then clear your throat. "Alright people, listen up. Yesterday I got a message from the John Hammond, asking us to give his newest theme park a once over to make sure it's actually safe."

Albert puts down the book he was reading, staring at you over his glasses. "Are you completely sure that is wise? The man has a reputation for causing problems."

"And you don't find it strange that this multi-billionaire contacted you of all people?" Lulu adds, biting into a slice of orange.

You frown. "Now come on people, you can't honestly think I'd just go and accept the job at the drop of a hat." They all nod. "Well shit. No, I ain't told him yes or no yet, I wanted everyone's opinion."

Albert shrugs, drinking his milk. "As long as he pays, I have no problem with it."

"Same." Lulu adds.

"I have always wanted to see a dinosaur up close." Odin adds.

"Ugggggh." Johnny moans.

You turn to Arlo, who's just staring at his plate, muttering to himself. "Arlo, you up for it?" He mumbles again, but nods. "Right on, I'll contact him right away." You finish your plate and head back to your quarters, and begin typing up a response to John Hammond. Still, since he contacted you, you could probably ask for a bit more money than usual....

>A. Ask for a normal pay fee, everyone gets 10,000 credits.
>B. Ask for a slightly higher pay fee, everyone gets 20,000 credits.
>C. Be outrageous, everyone gets 40,000 credits
>D. Just be a complete and utter asshole, everyone gets 80,000 credits.
>E. Write-in

>>2311522
>E. Ask for a normal pay fee, but with near-ridiculous Hazard Pay and Combat Bonus, as well as fully covered medical (and mechanical for T-800)

>>2311522
>E. Ask for a big pay free. Everyone gets 30,000 credits.
I've got command up my ass here, Hammond! I gotta give them something to justify me passing up on their contracts!

>>2311534
>>2311536
Pay fee of 15k each, but with Hazard Pay of 20k each if we get attacked, and Combat Bonus of additional 25k each if we actually fight back?

Maybe include a Security Lockdown Fee of another 10k if we secure the park after the inevitable exhibit breakout?

>>2311548
Lol, seems fine, and fucking bullshit for Hammond. Let's hope he just thinks this is how things are done.

>>2311548
Right on, now roll me some 1d100's to convince the old fart.
DC 50

Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>2311557

Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>2311557
"Look, Hammond. You've got a reputation about your parks. If nothing goes wrong, you only pay us 15k each, which is within the normal range of consulting fees for high level professionals like us. And if shit hits the fan, then you've already got a highly skilled team of tactical consultants on-site to bring the park under control as quickly as possible."

Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>2311557

Well usually I'd wait for the last roll, but this has been long enough.

Writing, then that's all for tonight. And yes, your next mission will be, essentially, Jurassic Park.

File: Spoiler Image (363 KB, 658x800)

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"Dear John Hammond," You begin typing out. "I have discussed your proposition with my squad and we have all come to an agreement to oblige your offer of examining the security of your park. However," And you put the however in italics, really send that shit home. "I've decided that the normal fee of 10,000 credits wouldn't be enough. I believe 15,000 is more agreeable for something like this, as well as a hazard pay of 20,000 each, with an additional 25,000 each if my squad is forced to fight back. Furthermore, if in the event of your park becoming overrun with its creatures, and therefore requiring us to put shit back in line, that'll be another 10,000 per person. All of this, I feel, is more than fair. Yours truly, R.J. MacReady." You hit send, leaning back in your chair and scratching your beard. Then a few seconds later you get a reply. "Holy shit that was fast."

You open up the email, and are more than surprised to see an already typed up letter. "MacReady, I've spent the last three seconds pouring over your letter, and have decided to agree to the terms, after all you are all trained soldiers, and the prices in which you listed your services are more than fair. I am sending you the coordinates to where my new park will be, I trust that you will keep this information to yourself and your crew only."

A second after reading the email you get another one with the coordinates, just like Hammond said. You grin, realizing that if all of this does go to shit, you're looking at a payday that's at 70,000 credits a person, that's enough to afford some cool new shit or crew for the ship.

Just as you're about to shut off the computer you get one last email, this one from.... "Blazcowicz?" You say in amazement. You open it up, and it's just six words and a picture. "Came across someone in Chrome Town." You nearly fall out of your seat when you see who's in the picture.

It's you.
>END
>Hope ya'll had fun.
>Don't know when we'll run again, but it should be soonish.

>>2311824
Huh. I wonder if we’ll have an entire team of Kurt Russell characters.

>>2311824
>It's you

But stronger.

>>2311824
>Soon