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The rules of Fungeon Crawl are listed in the attached image.

Without any further ado, I’ll begin with a short prologue.

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The sun sets once more over Funville, the city that sleeps for eight hours to regain its spell slots. From across the realm, countless brave souls flock to Funville’s dingy streets to seek their fortunes as adventurers. Like a lantern drawing moths, this city pulls in heroes, scoundrels, vagabonds, and villains, and much like the aforementioned moths, most of these motley characters get themselves killed in very short order. But it's not like you're going to let that stop you.

You are members of the Ludum Guild, a ragtag band of aspiring adventurers. You have recently taken on a quest to delve into some decrepit dungeon, slay whatever terrible monster dwells in its depths, and collect a whole lot of treasure. You have gathered in the Wooden Duck Tavern to prepare for this heroic adventure, but first you must collectively decide who from your group will being going forth.

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These are the members of the Ludum Guild. Please vote for three characters. When enough votes are gathered, the three characters with the most votes will form the party. The character with the most votes will be the party leader.

The Brick
Prince Nigel
Carmen and Steve

Olivia
Brick
Carmen

I think I'll continue taking votes until one character pulls ahead.

>>2344171
It's wierd there's only two players now. I mean, it felt like a lot of people in /lg/ were waiting this for MONTHS, at least I was. Maybe it's just not quite right timing, and we have to wait a little bit.

>>2344190
In hindsight, Monday morning probably wasn't the best time to launch a new game, but in the meanwhile, I'll be here till 3 PM PST today, and then again in the evening.

Herme,
Eradriel,
and Aua

>>2344083
Take the weeb samurai please

>>2344122
>>2344154
I'm willing to sell yoy my other two votes if you vote for the samuri

>>2344318
Obviously my offer extends to you as well

>>2344322
Only the most functional of parties:

Aua
Ken
Olivia

Here are the current totals:

The Brick - 2
Carmen - 2
Ava - 2
Ken - 2
Olivia - 2
Herme - 1
Eradriel - 1
Nigel - 1
Jane - 0
Fang - 0
Kirk - 0
Dell - 0

Ken
Eradriel
Carmen

>>2344384
Brick
Olivia
Eradriel

Ken, Carmen, the Brick, Olivia, Eradriel, and Ava are currently the top six. I'll do another round of voting now with them only. You may vote for two characters from that list.

>>2344459
Ava and Eradriel

>>2344459
Brick, Eradriel

>>2344459
Ken, saving my other vote

Brick & Carmen

>>2344083
Brick, Carmen, and Herme

Been waiting for this since you first posted the original with only four PCs!

>>2344499
>1 post by this id

God I hate samefags

voting for Ava, the Brick and Eradiel

>>2344459
>Ken
>Carmen

Glad you've returned, I liked Funtron.

>>2344528
>>2344539
I'm glad to finally have it running! We're currently in the second round of voting which is pick 2, if you want to narrow down your selection. Without your votes, the totals are:

Eradriel - 2
The Brick - 2
Ken - 2
Carmen - 2
Ava - 1
Olivia - 0

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Ken
Carmen

>>2344562
Oh, pick two? then, Eradriel and Ava.

Ken - 3
Carmen - 3
Eradriel - 3
The Brick - 2
Ava - 2
Olivia - 0

I'll be back in a few hours and I'll finalize the party then. In the meantime, voting will remain open.

Brick, Ava

>>2344562
Olivia is a QT and useful to have around too.
You've got to have Ava, because what's the point of delving dungeons if you can't open the vault door at the end?

>>2344922
Bards get some thiefing skills.

>>2344677
ken / carman

>>2344677
>Ken
>we're going to get a dumb weeb instead of based Brick

>>2345211
The Fungeon Master knows his demographics.

>>2344562
Brick and Carmen if I get to vote on this

Fuck I just realized Oliva's familiar is a toilet player character and I'm mad at all of you.

>>2345301
Funtron has like a billion Scala potties

Why do people want the brick?0 He is the least interesting person on the roster.

>>2344083
Carmen
Brick
Herme

We're down to the final vote!

Carmen - 5
Ken - 4
The Brick - 4
Ava - 4

Carmen will be the leader of the party, and the other two party members will be chosen from Ken, the Brick, and Carmen. I'll let the next poster pick which two of those while I grab a bite to eat, and then we can get started.

>>2345353
Brick and Ava?

>>2345356
fuck you

>>2345346
Skills: pantomime

look how wrong you are.

>>2345356
>Carmen
>Brick and Ava
my body is ready

>>2345353
Nishi no Ken!

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After many hours of heated deliberation, you manage to narrow this adventuring party down to Carmen, Steve, the Brick, and Ava. You gird your loins and whatever else one girds before an expedition and prepare to set off. However, suddenly Ken rushes up to you in a tizzy.

KEN
Chotto matte kudasai, Carmen-chan! Before you ittekimasu, I have to ask you a small favor.

CARMEN
Anything for my fans!

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>>2345639
KEN
This is a sacred ongaku scroll from Ninjago, my treasured takaramono. I would be honored if you would take it with you on your tabi...and...uh...maybe record yourself playing it sometime...er, I mean use it to inspire our nakama-tachi in their moment of need.

CARMEN
Z...uh...a... Ken, I don't know what any of this means.

KEN
That's okay, neither do—I mean, really it's the singer's taisetsu na kimochi that matter, not the words, desu yo ne?

CARMEN
Right, let's go with that! Don't worry, Ken; I'll take good care of your sheet music.

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>>2345662
Everyone gathers round to see you off, hopefully not for the last time.

CARMEN
Thank you to all my fans for your support! It's thanks to all of you that I've made it here today! You're all wonderful!

STEVE
...Carmen, this isn't a concert.

AVA
I'll try to leave a little loot for the rest of you. Maybe.

The Brick gives a complex sequence of nods, waves, and a couple winks, after which there's not a dry eye left in the Wooden Duck Tavern.

And then you set off on your adventure.

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>>2345674
You follow the map your clients left you to the dungeon entrance, a few miles west, somewhere in the outlands surrounding Funville. Night has fallen by the time you arrive at the dungeon entrance. A pair clad in white are waiting by the great stone archway—your clients, presumably. They hail you as you approach.

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>>2345678
PALADIN
Good evening. The Ludum Guild, I presume.

CARMEN
Well, lately I've been thinking about changing the name to Carmen and the Crawlers, but for now, yep; we're the Ludum Guild.

CLERIC
A pleasure to make your acquaintance. I am called Croix, and this is my dear friend, Sir Rood. You stand before the dungeon known as the Tomb of the Entombed, the home of an ancient and powerful darkness which is the reason for our hiring you.

ROOD
You have one job: kill the lich on the third basement floor of the Tomb. That is all.

CROIX
You are familiar with liches, no?

THE BRICK
[nod; chest pat; spear thrust; tilt head]

CROIX
Indeed. It is not enough to merely destroy the body of the lich; you must destroy the vessel of its soul as well. Only when both are annihilated will your duty be complete.

AVA
Right. So, what's this soul jar look like anyhow?

ROOD
A crystal, blue. The lich itself I trust you will recognize.

AVA
And our compensation..?

ROOD
One hundred gold pieces. No objections?

>>2345709
We could use a little up-front. You know, for dungeon expenditures.

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>>2345709
STEVE
Carmen, this sounds way above our CR...

CARMEN
No objections whatsoever!

AVA
So, get to the third floor, smash a crystal, kill a lich, and bail. No catch?

ROOD
Only the peril inherent in any dungeon.

CROIX
Though there is perhaps one thing.

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>>2345720
CROIX
This lich is no mindless monster. I fear it has in mind many dark designs. Be wary of its treachery and deceit.

ROOD
But of course, this should be no issue for bold adventurers such as yourselves.

CROIX
Best of luck, adventurers. We'll see you again when your task is complete.

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>>2345727
Croix and Rood bid you farewell, and with nothing else to attend to, you pass through the stone archway and into the Tomb of the Entombed.

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>>2345735
You arrive in a chamber lit by a pair of enormous stone braziers. The air is thick with dust and smoke and various other stenches you can only begin to guess at. Set into the north wall, a pair of doors beckon you deeper.

THE BRICK
[sniff; shake head]

AVA
Nah, can't be that abandoned. After all, someone's still going round lighting the torches.

STEVE
Acoustics are rubbish, though.

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>>2345753
You have nine healing potions. Carmen is equipped with her guitar; Steve has his axe; Ava carries her dagger; the Brick is armed with a spear and shield. The Brick has 3 HP and the rest of the party each has 2 HP.

What will you do?

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Note: This is the dungeon map for Floor One. Rooms are numbered, and doors are marked by lighter-colored squares. As you explore the Tomb of the Entombed, the shrouded parts of the map will be revealed. If at any point you wish to see the map, just let me know.

Rolled 2 (1d6)

>>2345764
Search the crates, then put up this lying chair

>>2345764
Set the fallen chair right side up. Also check the crates if we have time.

Rolled 4 (1d6)

>>2345764
Does Carmen's bardic knowledge allow her to get any info off those tapestries?

Rolled 4 (1d6)

>>2345782

Rolled 3 (1d6)

>>2345764
send ava to scout ahead through the right most door, make sure the brick is the one who opens the door thought (after ava checks both for traps) then search the crates with everyone else after ava walks off

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You begin meticulously picking at everything in the room, as one does when one is an adventurer. Steve checks out the crates while Carmen tries to decipher the tapestries. Meanwhile, Ava searches for trapped doors and the Brick rights a wayward chair.

CARMEN
I think I get the gist of this tapestry. To me, it says: "The person who lives here really likes solid colors and isn't afraid to show it."

STEVE
But what do the words say?

CARMEN
Oh, it says "Beware, ye who enter this place; disturb not the dead in their repose." Also, "Boberto was here."

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>>2345857
After a big of rummaging, Steve manages to find something of value in the pile of crates: a butterfly net. Could be worse, you suppose. You could have found something really useless, like a bug in a jar, or a teddy bear.

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>>2345866
Although she is reasonably certain that the doors aren't booby-trapped, Ava has the Brick open it for her anyway. It swings open with a creak, and then a few choices swears from Ava.

AVA
Hey, Carmen..? You know those green monsters with the pointy ears and the creepy faces?

CARMEN
I think so?

AVA
Are those orcs, trolls, or goblins? I'd ask Jane, but she got knocked out in the first round of voting.

CARMEN
Those are goblins? Right?

AVA
Great. Well, boss, we've got some goblins coming this way and they do not look friendly.

What will you do?

Rolled 6 (1d6)

>>2345882
Brick holds the line two tiles north while Ava scales the doorway inside the next room

Just realized we have no ranged weapons

Rolled 4 (1d6)

>>2345882
Send the Brick through the door and and pull aggro so the goblins are facing away from Ava for those meaty back-stab bonuses!

>>2345899
Could I get a quick clarification on "scale"?

>>2345951
Climb up the wall to stay out of danger (hopefully)

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The Brick trundles forward with a warlike shrug and handily stops the goblins' advance. Swords and crossbow bolts glance off his armor like so many bumblebees against a glass window. Ava uses this opening to slip through into the next room.

Note: I think I'll go back on that "one room at a time" bit here and in the future, though there will be some instances where it's not possible to have two rooms built at once.

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>>2345992
While the goblins are distracted, she scurries up the door.

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>>2346001

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>>2346008
An opening presents itself.

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>>2346013
Ava plunges her dagger into the goblin's back with tremendous success, felling the foe with one sneak attack. Two goblins remain.

What will you do?

Rolled 4 (1d6)

>>2346016
Carmen - come in the room and sing a Song of Reduced Chance to Hit for Ranged Weapons.
Ava - put a dagger into the second melee goblin's back and hid behind The Brick after
The Brick - hold the line

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Sensing that bardic inspiration is needed, Carmen clears her throat and steps up.

CARMEN
Thank you all for coming tonight! For my next song, I'll be playing a little number called "The Imperial March." Hit it, Steve!

You proceed to jam. With every note you play, you can feel your ranged chance to hit dropping a little lower.

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>>2346055
The crossbow goblin seems to pick up on Carmen's ruse and fires a bolt her direction. It misses, however, and plants itself in the door instead.

Meanwhile, the other goblin continues its attacks against the Brick. It manages to land a blow, knocking the Brick down to 2 HP, but as it does so, Ava sneaks up behind it unnoticed.

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>>2346061
One goblin remains.

What will you do?

Rolled 3 (1d6)

>>2346065
The Brick - move towards goblin, left side of the table.
Ava - jump over the table to get goblin
Carmen - keep playing

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>>2346215
While Carmen plays on, Ava and the Brick move in on the final goblin.

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>>2346235
Despite Carmen's best efforts, the goblin manages to land a shot on the Brick at close range, bringing him down to 1 HP. For Ava, however, every attack against anyone other than herself is another opportunity.

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>>2346241
True to her roguish nature, Ava steals the final kill.

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>>2346247
AVA
Wow, those chumps couldn't land a single hit.

The Brick displays to her the universal hand sign for "speak for yourself."

CARMEN
Not bad for our first gig!

AVA
Plenty of loot too. Ooh, that sword goes for fourteen copper at Port Epsilon. Though a mint condition goblin corpse goes for 200...

What will you do?

Rolled 2 (1d6)

>>2346256
Carmen - pick some weapon, just in case.
Everyone - search the crates, collect what might be most usefull/expensive.
I doubt goblin corpses will be in "mint condition" by the end of our raid, so it won't be good to take some with us, unltill we won't find a way to preserve the somehow. How fast do they decompose even? Damn, we reaaly could use some help from someone with a degree on moster studies.

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CARMEN
I suppose I'd be more helpful if I had an actual weapon, but I wish it could be something that didn't totally clash with my aesthetic.

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>>2346285
CARMEN
How's this, Steve? Think it'd be smart to increase my range?

STEVE
Definitely. No offense, but you were really struggling with those high notes.

CARMEN
...I was talking about combat, Steve.

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>>2346286
Off in the corner, Ava loots an unmarked potion from the crates. It looks potentially useful, though you're not sure for what exactly. Either way, she stuffs it in her pack.

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>>2346288
The Brick has 1 HP; everyone else has 2 HP.

You have 9 potions. Steve has the butterfly net in his pack; Ava has the unmarked potion in hers. Not pictured are the goblins' two swords, which are still in the room.

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>>2346294
Note: I'll leave things here for tonight, but I'll be back tomorrow morning for more. In the meantime, feel free to leave commands here.

Thanks for playing, everyone! Also, if you enjoy Lego adventures, be sure to check out the thrilling demonic car chase action over in Lego Quest's Sunnydale Heights 60666:

>>2339367

>>2346298
>Heal Brick to full
>Stash the goblins and their swords in R1
>Check the south door of R3

Rolled 2 (1d6)

>>2346298
Heal the Brick. Send the Brick to open the forward door in R3.

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After quaffing a couple potions, the Brick goes to scout each of the doors out of R3. He starts with the south door.

THE BRICK: [thumbs up]

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>>2346942
Next, the north exit.

Note: not pictured, but the goblins and swords are now stashed in R1.

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>>2346945
What will you do?

>>2346948
Dismember the skeletons as a precaution.
Then LOOT EVERYTHING.
Then go to the south room, since this the north one if I'm not mistaken.

Rolled 4 (1d6)

>>2346948
Chuck away the skellies, check for traps with Ava, disarm/open the chest.

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You dismember and discard the skeletons for good measure before probing the chest. You're pretty certain that tapestry was just bluffing anyway.

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>>2347096
After a thorough trap-check, Ava pops open the chest and pulls out a rapier. How'd that even fit in there?

The Brick also finds a bottle of wine in the nearby crates.

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>>2347099
You then proceed to the room to the south of R3.

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>>2347102
What will you do?

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All characters are at full HP. You have 7 potions.
Carmen: guitar, crossbow, Ken's sheet music
Steve: axe, net
The Brick: spear, shield, wine
Ava: dagger, rapier, purple potion

Rolled 4 (1d6)

>>2347111
Open the chest without checking for traps because there were none before, read the tapestry after that.

>>2347111
Check the chest for traps, loot the chest, examine the tapestry.

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AVA: "First one to the chest gets the loot!"

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>>2347180
With characteristic cupidity, Ava races straight for the chest and begins lifting the lid. There is a faint rumbling of stone.

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>>2347183
Suddenly, the stone statue strikes! Ava takes 1 point of damage to her HP, and 2d6 damage to her pride.

>>2347185
>Carmen: play something inspiring (and hard rock, for pun points)
>Brick: attack the statue
>Ava: run away until the statue is distracted, then pull down the tapestry and entangle the statue.

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>>2347185
CARMEN: "In case you were wondering, the tapestry says: 'Beware the guardians of stone / Their force of arms makes thieves atone.'"

AVA: "Great, it rhymes..."

CARMEN: "Thanks! I added that myself!"

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AVA: "We need a plan to get past that statue and nab the treasure. Any ideas?"

STEVE: "We could just leave it."

AVA: "Nobody asked you, Steve."

CARMEN: "I could play 'Rockabye Baby'. Maybe that'd put it to sleep?"

THE BRICK: [twirl; hands over eyes; freeze in place]

AVA: "Now that sounds like a plan."

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>>2347237
You begin by tearing the tapestry down from the wall.

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>>2347239
Steve then drapes it over the statue, though 'drape' might not be the right word for something with the rigidity of an iron sheet. Carmen plays some hard rock for encouragement while Ava sneaks up on the somewhat blindfolded statue.

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>>2347248
Success! Covered by the tapestry, the statue doesn't notice a thing as Ava loots a pair of shears from the chest. They're sort of rusty and there's a bit of dried blood on the ends too. You hand them off to Steve, who still has enough inventory space to carry them.

What will you do?

>>2347258
>Check out the other door in R6

Rolled 4 (1d6)

>>2347258
Drink the wine, all of the wine. don't share any with Steve.

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Onward to the next room!

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>>2347284
Or maybe not.

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>>2347285
Good Godt, you can already tell that thing hits like a truck, and trucks haven't even been invented yet. And what's more, you know exactly which one of you is gonna have to pull aggro here and take all those hits, and it ain't Steve, that's for sure.

You take a swig of wine to brace yourself, and by swig, I mean an entire bottle's worth.

What will you do?

>>2347293
>Carmen starts playing It ain't Steve (boosts Brick's chance to block)

>>2347293
>Retreat until the orc reaches the statue, then remove the tapestry to trick the statue into thinking it was the orc who looted the chest.

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CARMEN: "Come on, the Brick, I believe in you!"

THE BRICK: [shrug; head tap]

CARMEN: "No, I'm totally positive you can take this troll, and I've got just the song for the occasion!"

You begin rocking out bardic-style with Steve as your backup, begrudgingly shredding it on his axe.

CARMEN:
"Some folks are born made a punching bag,
Ooh, they're all black and blue.
And when the orcs say, "Hey, you gotta beef?"
Ooh, they point their crossbows at you, boy.

It ain't Steve,
It ain't Steve,
He ain't no paladin's son, son.
It ain't Steve,
It ain't Steve,
He got an AC of 1 (and that's 3E, not AD&D!)"

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>>2347357
AVA: "Alright, are we done with the song and dance now? I don't want to be pushy, but the troll is almost at the door. I don't really think it can get through, but I'd rather not find out."

What will you do?

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>>2347357

>>2347334
>>2347364

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THE BRICK: [point; run]

CARMEN: "Right! If we just get away from the doorway, there's no way it can get us! It's way too big to fit through there."

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>>2347405
CRASH

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>>2347407
AVA: "Any better ideas?"

STEVE: "I think I've got one."

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>>2347408
As the troll nears the statue, Steve yanks the tapestry away.

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>>2347409
The statue takes a look at the empty chest, then turns to face the oncoming troll.

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>>2347411
It takes a swipe at the troll, dealing 1 HP of damage! However, the troll is still far from vanquished.

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>>2347413
CRACK

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>>2347415
What will you do?

Note: I'll leave things here for the afternoon, but I'll be back in the evening and will try to incorporate any orders left here in the meantime. Thanks for playing!

>>2347418
Retreat! while Carmen sings a troll lullaby!

>>2347418
>Ava: hide under the ceiling in the next room all ninja-like
>The rest: retreat, luring the troll under Ava.
>Ava: Stylish drop-down weakpoint assasination.

>>2347418
Cheese it, run all the way to R.1, and hopefully lose the troll. hopefully smashing through walls slows him down.

Maybe even keep running into the other unexplored room

>>2347435
I disagree with this, when the troll smashes through the wall ava will come down with it.

Rolled 5 (1d6)

>>2347435
This sounds like a well thought-out plan

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You retreat to the relative safety of R3 and its not-yet-smashed-through doorway. Ava begins enacting the first step of your master plan by climbing up the nearby torch.

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>>2348356
Using her many ranks in climb, she clings to the bricks of the wall and waits.

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>>2348361
OH YEAH

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>>2348362
STEVE: "I don't suppose you've been practicing any troll lullabies?"

CARMEN: "No, but I can improvise. Let's see...
Silent night,
Trolly night,
All is calm,
All is bright,
Round yon, uh...monster,
Angrily riled,
Scary...troll...thing...
So violent...and...wild..."

It doesn't seem to have any effect.

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>>2348365
However, it does distract the troll long enough for Ava to make her move.

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>>2348368
Ava's dagger sinks deep into the troll's neck, sending it staggering back! One more hit should finish it!

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>>2348370
Unfortunately, the same goes for Ava.

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>>2348373

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>>2348375
Ava is out for the count, but everyone else is at full HP.

What will you do?

Note: I have a couple things to attend to, so I'll be going more slowly than usual, but I'll try to do as much as I can tonight.

Rolled 5 (1d6)

>>2348379
The Brick - using pantomime skill, tell this troll what a "spear in the face" means.
Steve - make attempt to chop off the left arm.
Carmen - land those torch right onto the troll.

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The Brick uses the universal language of pantomime to commune with the troll.

THE BRICK: ["Hey buddy, you ever heard of a 'spearinthefacefeellike'?"]

TROLL: ["No, I'm quite afraid I haven't. Do tell, what's a spearinthefacefeellike?"]

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>>2348549
THE BRICK: ["Like this!"]

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>>2348550
Not to be left out of yet another combat, Steve jumps in as well to finally make himself useful.

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>>2348553
With a flying swing of his axe, he lops off the troll's left arm and fells the beast.

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>>2348555
The troll's corpse hits the ground with a colossal thud.

THE BRICK: [nod; kick]

STEVE: "You can say that again."

CARMEN: "Nicely done, you two! I think that was our best show yet!"

AVA: [unconscious gurgling]

What will you do?

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The Brick has 3 HP; Carmen and Steve have 2 HP; Ava has 0 HP. You have 7 potions.

The Brick: spear, shield
Carmen: guitar, crossbow
Steve: axe, net, shears
Ava: dagger, rapier, purple potion

Note: I'll leave off again for the night, and Fungeon Crawl will return tomorrow evening. I'll make a post in /lg/ when that happens.

>>2348567
>Heal Ava to full and go loot R7
We're using up potions too quickly. We need to step up our game.

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>>2345720
>Carmen, this sounds way above our CR...

>>2348571
Go to the room after the troll, I'm sure there will be loot

>>2348846
>inb4 another two trolls

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>>2348906
>inb4 another five trolls

Fungeon Crawl will resume shortly.

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You pour three potions down Ava's unconscious gullet and after a couple minutes, she's as good as MISB.

AVA: "What happened? Is the troll dead? Did we win? Was there treasure?"

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>>2350046
To answer the third question, you proceed once more to the now troll-free R7, where the unopened chest awaits your return.

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>>2350049
Carmen does the honors of opening the chest this time. Inside is a shiny gold trophy.

CARMEN: "I can't believe this is really happening! I'd like to thank my family, and my guitar teacher Maurice, and—"

STEVE: "Carmen, that trophy's for 'County's Best Grape Preserves'."

You quietly stow it in your pack.

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>>2350075
From R7, you move north into the next room, a cramped corridor made even more cramped by the enormous heap of bookshelves blocking the middle of it. Even with nothing on them, they look quite heavy.

STEVE: "Maybe we should have kept that troll around."

What will you do?

>>2350081
Did we enter from the door behind Ava? If so, back up into the room behind us to set an ambush, then get Ava to open the door where Carmen is and run back to the rest of the party if there are any uglies inside.

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While the rest of the party make themselves scarce, Ava advances to scout out the next room.

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>>2350192
You find a something waiting in the room. You're not sure what it is, but while it doesn't look hostile, it sure is ugly. And there's a terrible stench coming from that heap in the corner...

What will you do?

>>2350081
Such blockages are unsurprising, these tunnels predate even the earliest settlers.

>>2350199
talk to him

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Sensing no malice from the diminutive figure before you, you gather the rest of the party into the room and introduce yourselves.

CARMEN: "Good evening! We are the Ludum Guild and we're here to roc—"

STEVE: "—and we're just passing through on a quest is all."

???: "Well, greetings to you, Ludum Guild. I am the one they call Dansk, the trash gnome, caretaker of this forgotten tomb. 'Tis I, Dansk, who oils this place's door hinges, and 'tis I who lights the torches and replaces the candles. Who washes the tapestries? That too is Dansk. And who sweeps up the monster spoor and washes out the bloodstains? Why, it is none other than Dansk. Thankless work it is, but it must be done."

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>>2350407
DANSK: "This chamber is where I store my supplies and whatever lost things I find on my rounds. You are welcome to take anything you see here—"

AVA: "Don't mind if I do!"

DANSK: "—if you will offer me something in exchange. But if you are here neither to barter nor aid me in my rounds, I ask that you let me be. I'm sure you've left me a great many messes to clean."

What will you do?

>>2350418
We'll trade Steve for that big old chest back there. Oh! And a map of the place.

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AVA: "If you're game to barter, then we'll happily trade this mint condition Steve here for that big old chest, and a map of this joint."

STEVE: "Hey, I didn't agree to this!"

DANSK: "Fret not, boy, I'd never agree to such a trade—"

STEVE: "I'm glad someone here has some sense."

DANSK: "—especially considering you're not even worth half as much as this chest. That said, I've no great interest in the chest's contents; the chest itself is all I care for. If you can find some way to get past the lock, whatever lies inside is yours."

AVA: "And the map?"

DANSK: "It's quite against my contract to be filling out adventurers' maps. Here's the best I can offer you."

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>>2350603
Dansk grabs a piece of chalk and begins scribbling on your map.

DANSK: "And...done. 'Tis all I may legally say, per my Gnome Disclosure Agreement."

CARMEN: "What's that big skull mean?"

THE BRICK: [finger over throat; stick tongue out; eye roll]

DANSK: "Aye, that's about the right of it."

What will you do?

>>2350621
>Try to pick the lock on the big chest.

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AVA: "Great, thanks for the map, old man. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a lock to pick."

DANSK: "You're welcome to try, but that lock is protected by the ancient magic of Lady Co—"

AVA: "Whatever it is, I'm sure I can crack it."

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>>2350636
AVA: "Just a little jimmy here, a couple twists there...any minute now..."

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>>2350639
AVA: "Maybe give it a couple knocks...almost there..."

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>>2350640
AVA: "I said I'm almost...there......"

This could take a while.

What will you do?

Note: I will leave things again for the night and pick up again in the morning. Feel free to leave orders, and also (though I've been forgetting to do this) roll for them.

>>2350643
>Carmen: play an anti-ancient-magic-of-Lady-Co song.
>Brick and Steve: try to force the lock.

Rolled 1 (1d6)

>>2350643
Swing all the way around to r.1 and try the other door. Leave this chest for now and ask this gnome to clear out the blockage for us

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STEVE: "Let me take a swing at it!"

CARMEN: "Oh, and I'll play a bit of lock-and-roll for backup!"

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>>2351343
BZZT

A bolt of magic lightning shoots out from the chest and knocks Steve off his feet! He takes no damage, fortunately, but it seems this chest is your most formidable foe yet.

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>>2351362
Sensing an exercise in futility, you decide to leave the chest for now and head back to R1 to check out the door you didn't open. On the way out, you also make a small request of Dansk.

AVA: "Hey, old man, would you do us a favor and clear out that mess of bookshelves out in the hallway?"

DANSK: "Oh, aye, I'll be sure to sort that out..."

STEVE: "Thanks!"

DANSK: "...before the end of the year."

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>>2351378
You then proceed back through rooms 9, 7, 6, 3, and 1, passing by the various piles of rubble and corpses produced during your escapades. Those goblin carcasses are not looking so hot. You might have to downgrade their condition from 'New' to 'Slightly used' at this rate.

Finally, you pass through R1's lefthand door and enter into another corridor. Everything seems quite safe here, though you can't help but be a little suspicious of the skeleton and statue.

What will you do?

Rolled 6 (1d6)

>>2351400
Those crates ate suspicious too.
>poke the crates with a spear. I safe, poceed further.
>poke the sceleton with a spear. I safe, poceed further.
>poke the doot with a spear. I safe, poceed further.

Rolled 1 (1d6)

>>2351400
Is it to late to have ava swing back and throw a tourch on that blackage of refuse?

Have every one else go through the middle door

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You proceed down the hallway with the Brick at the head of the party, making sure everything's safe with a prod of his spear.

Crates?

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>>2351565
THE BRICK: [thumbs up]

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>>2351567
Skeleton?

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>>2351569
THE BRICK: [thumbs up]

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>>2351571
Door?

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>>2351573
THE BRICK: [thumbs up]

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>>2351577
Dragon?

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>>2351579
THE BRICK: [thumbs u—]

Wait, hold on.

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>>2351582

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>>2351588
THE BRICK: [thumbs down]

What will you do?

Rolled 3 (1d6)

>>2351592
Leave the dragon be. Politely.
Go through the middle door of R.2 corridor.

Rolled 6 (1d6)

>>2351592
I said the middle door, the gnome told us that far door was a bad room.

The only thing I can suggest now is to have the brick hide behind the pillers and attempt to draw out attacks, once the dragon knocks down enough pillers the roof will colapsing on him.

>>2351641
>all these people who voted for brick and never posted again

What a shocker, same fags are the worst

>>2351592
>Bravely run away!

>>2351605
Good luck Brick!

Have the Brick hold the door closed while the others retreat around the corner. Maybe it's only interested in defending that downward passage?

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You turn tail and with great swiftness get the hell out of there.

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>>2351709
You stop around the corner to catch your breath. Now that you're out of sight, the dragon's roaring gradually dies down.

STEVE: "Well that was a bust. Looks like that thing's guarding the door to the stairs down, too."

THE BRICK: [wide eyes; head tap; head shake]

AVA: "Don't worry, we're not gonna ask you to tank a dragon's breath attack. Not yet, anyway."

With that route of approach evidently out of the question, you decide to check the middle door next.

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>>2351717
The door opens with a well calibrated creak, probably courtesy of Dansk. Inside is a familiar sight.

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>>2351719
What will you do?

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Note: Pausing here for the afternoon. Fungeon Crawl will return this evening.

>>2351722
>Carmen: seductively lure the goblins outside the room.
>The rest: cunningly ambush the exiting goblins.

Rolled 6 (1d6)

>>2351722
Sneak over and read that book

Rolled 3 (1d6)

>>2351722
>drunk
>some asleep
>no weapons
ENGAGE MURDER

>>2351647
I voted Brick and I posted from 3 different IPs already so fuck off weeb.

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The Brick quickly ducks out of the room. However, it is too late: the goblins have already noticed your presence. One cautiously approaches the doorway, looking around for threats. You lower your voices.

AVA: "And now we've lost the element of surprise. Nicely done, the Brick."

THE BRICK: [very rude gesture]

STEVE: "We could still ambush them; we just need some sort of distraction."

AVA: "Such as?"

CARMEN: "Oh, I think I know! I've got just the song—goblins go nuts for this one."

STEVE: "Wait, is that really such a good—"

CARMEN: "And a one, a two, a one, two, three four—"

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>>2352672
CARMEN: "You remind me of the babe."

STEVE: [sigh] "What babe?"

CARMEN: "The babe with the power."

STEVE: "What power?"

CARMEN: "The power of vodoo."

STEVE: "Who do?"

CARMEN: "You do."

STEVE: "Do what?"

CARMEN: "Remind me of the babe.

I saw my baby,
crying hard as babe could cry.
What could I do?
My baby's love had gone,
and left my baby blue.
Nobody knew!"

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>>2352675
CARMEN: "Dance, magic dance, magic dance..."

GOBLIN: "Hey, that's my jam!"

OTHER GOBLIN: "Whoa, that sounds great! Who's playing that?"

A glimmer of hope alights in Carmen's eyes.

GOBLIN: "Come on out, guys! You gotta hear this bard—she's amazing!"

CARMEN: "You really think so?"

GOBLIN: "Totally!"

OTHER GOBLIN: "I never thought I'd get to hear this live! What's your name?"

THIRD GOBLIN: "I want to hear more!"

Carmen sniffles and wipes the tears from her eyes.

CARMEN: "I—I've never had real fans before! Thank you, all of you! This is the happiest day of my li—"

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>>2352689

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>>2352691
AVA: "Damn, that was the easiest fight yet. Thanks for distracting them, Carmen."

CARMEN: "M-my fans..."

The Brick gives her what might be a comforting pat on the back, or possibly he's just wiping goblin blood off on her shirt.

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>>2352693
With the nascent Carmen*V fan club thoroughly dispatched, you proceed into the room they were occupying and search it for loot.

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>>2352696
Buried beneath the overturned bookshelf, Ava finds a chest containing a mysterious clear potion, or maybe it's just an empty bottle. You're not entirely sure, but you give it to the Brick for safekeeping since he's the only one of you with any inventory space left.

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>>2352699
Carmen drowns her sorrows in the papery embrace of a pair of books she found lying around: an unmarked brown volume, and some sort of potion brewing for dummies guide.

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>>2352702

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>>2352706

>>2352707
Potions: 4
HP: full
The Brick: spear, shield, clear potion
Ava: dagger, rapier, purple potion
Carmen: guitar, crossbow, trophy
Steve: axe, net, shears

What will you do?

Note: sorry for the lateness of this update, as well as the fact that I'm going to have to leave things here tonight. I will continue in the morning.

>>2352712
check the last door

>>2352712
>Inspect the portrait and the bag.

Check under the carpet.

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Though you've searched most of the obvious hiding spots for treasure, perhaps there's something of actual value underneath the carpet.

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>>2353579
On second thought, it's probably best you don't look there.

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>>2353582
Steve investigates the sack and finds that it's full of slightly stale potato wedges. Score! Before anyone else has a chance to ask for some, he surreptitiously stows the food in his personal bag of holding—that is, his stomach.

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>>2353591
Finally, you spend some time contemplating the portrait on the desk.

STEVE: "Cute, whoever she is."

AVA: "Whoever she was, more like. That painting's ancient."

CARMEN: "Well I'm not impressed. Faces like hers are a dime a dozen."

AVA: "Mm, to be totally accurate, it'd be 22 dimes."

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>>2353602
You then proceed to the far left door in R2. The next room appears to be some sort of jail. A key sits on the table, and three sorry-looking figures are lounging around in the cell.

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>>2353610
What will you do?

Note: updates will continue sporadically throughout the day as time permits

>>2353615
>Discuss how obvious this trap is. What would armed skeletons do behind bars except wait in ambush to attack adventurers?
>Proceed to the next door.

Rolled 1 (1d6)

>>2353697
Come on man, NONE of the skeletons so far have gotten up, and why would they wait for us to be in the cell with them to attack? Why would they place themselves in the cage lock the door then throw away the key? They are not even GUARDING anything.

I say open that cage up and look at the gear.

>>2352675
>those superimpositions

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CARMEN: "Look, a key! I bet it unlocks the cell!"

AVA: "Wait, can we stop a moment to talk about this? Like, about this whole room?"

STEVE: "Looks like a pretty basic dungeon jail to me."

THE BRICK: [shushing noise]

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>>2354620
AVA: "Take a look at those skeletons. Why are they armed when none of the other skeletons we've found have been?"

CARMEN: "Maybe they were adventurers who got locked up by goblins and died in their gear?"

AVA: "Locked up with all their weapons? I don't think so. Plus, don't forget there's apparently a lich at the end of all this. What sort of lich doesn't have a legion of the undead at their command? And there was that necromancer's diary too."

STEVE: "You really think those skeletons are gonna jump up and attack us?"

Ava shoots him a look and then sticks her hand through the bars.

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>>2354638
rattle

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>>2354642
extreme rattling

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>>2354644
Ava removes her hand from the cell; the moment she does, the skeletons go as limp and floppy as an original theme in its second year.

AVA: "So, shall we move on?"

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>>2354658
With a unanimous vote, you move on to the next room. Inside stand three stone statues with their empty hands extended, as if waiting.

What will you do?

>>2354659
well, read the note.

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>>2354682
The Brick gestures to the scroll atop the altar. It looks important, so you suppose you'd better read it.

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>>2354685
What will you do?

>>2354687
Examine the statues. Need to deduce what the sinister hand means

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You take a closer look at the statues.

What will you do?

>>2354696
The order is Purple, Orange, Red, Blue
We don't have the purple one, and the red one is outside in the skeleton cage.

>>2354707
Try sticking something inanimate through the bars of the cage and if that doesn't stir the undead, use the net to get the red rod.

Otherwise just poke with spear until all are dead.

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Whatever order the scepters have to be in, you won't get very far if you don't have all four. One of them you remember seeing inside the skeleton jail, but you're not particularly excited about the prospect of opening it up and fighting them all for it.

Fortunately, Steve has a plan, and his plan goes something like this.

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>>2354827

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>>2354832

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>>2354834
Got it! Nice work, Steve. The rest of the party is sure to be wowed by your resourcefulness and dexterity!

...ha, that was a good one.

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What will you do?

Note: That's all for tonight, but Fungeon Crawl will continue intermittently throughout the weekend. Thanks for playing!

>>2354707
how do you know its not blue red orange purple

>>2354840
set fire to the boxes blocking that one corridor, throw a few torches on it. If the gnome doesn't want to play ball smoke him out

>>2354883
"Sinister hand" means left hand

>>2354840
Try to replace the purple scepter with the purple potion.

>>2354835
>The Brick: spear, shield, clear potion
>Ava: dagger, rapier, purple potion
>Carmen: guitar, crossbow, trophy
>Steve: axe, net, shears

First a bit of inventory management:

Leave both potions and the shears on the table in the room with the skeletons, R.2
Drop Ava's dagger here
Carmen drops the crossbow here.

>The Brick: spear, shield
>Ava: Rapier
>Carmen: guitar, trophy?
>Steve: axe, net

> R.2 purple potion, clear potion, crossbow, dagger, shears
> R.1 two swords

Dragons love gold, so distract it with the trophy looped over the pole of the net while Ava sneaks around the dragon from R. 10 and into R. 11.
The Brick can reach the shield through the bars and use that one instead of the one he has.

The purple sceptre is probably in there.