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>You are Susumu Tetsu
>And you ain't old
>But you ARE wise.

"Alright Sasuke, this mission you're about to embark on is a deadly and serious one," You say, kneeling down in front of the boy as you check him over to make sure he's got everything he needs for the horror's that are about to happen to him tonight. "Failure to even account for one thing could mean the difference between life and death."

"Susumu." Sasuke starts, frowning at you.

"Why I remember when I was your age and had to go through this, it was terrible. Blood everywhere, kunai and shuriken embedded in the walls, not to mention the sad look on your comrades faces when they realized you couldn't save them." You shiver, the memories it brings back.

"Susumu." Sasuke says again, a little more forcefully.

"Eh?" You blink, looking away from the tie you're currently trying to adjust for the boy as he frowns at you. "Sorry was I going off track there for a bit?"

He rolls his eyes. "A little. Look I appreciate everything, but you don't gotta' worry about nothing. I can handle this." Sasuke says, straightening up a bit in his cute little blue suit.

"Uh-huh." You say, crossing your arms. "You tellin' me you somehow mastered the art of talking to teenage girls?" He's silent for a few moments before frowning again. "That's what I thought. Now, check list time. Flowers?"

"Here." Sasuke says, holding up a bouquet of red and white roses. Tacky as shit but little girls apparently love crap like this.

"Dance moves?"

"I memorized the list you gave me with my Sharingang. Twice." He adds before you can speak.

You nod. Good, maybe this night won't be a bloodbath for Sasuke after all. "Alright, cologne?"

Sasuke reaches into his pocket and pulls out-...oh for fucks sake. "I went around Sinchu's room and found this stuff, smells a little weird. Like...pungent."

Shit, he found Sinchu's special Anbu Alluring Scent. Idiot made that stuff for some 'hot babe' he was crushing on when he first joined the Anbu. Smells fucking horrible. "I wouldn't put that shit on you, not if you want Sakura to still talk to you after the dance." You take the cologne away from the boy, shaking your head in disgust at the bottle.

"Well, you got any cologne I could use?"

DO you?!

>A. "Of course, you can use my special Senju Tiger series, limited edition."
>B. "How about some of my Manic Monkey Man spray? The Third himself posed for the picture back in the day."
>C. "Well it's a little weird but, you want some Snake Oil? Orochimaru may have been a bastard but he could make some mean cologne."
>D. Write-in
Yes this matters.

>>2419282
>B. "How about some of my Manic Monkey Man spray? The Third himself posed for the picture back in the day."
the most trustworthy choice is anything with the third

>>2419282
>>B. "How about some of my Manic Monkey Man spray? The Third himself posed for the picture back in the day."

B it is.

Roll me some 1d100's real quick for...effectiveness.

Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>2419314
alright

Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>2419314

I'm phone posting at the moment don't mind me

Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>2419314
1

We'll call it there. Writing.

Also just a quick question, what are some zany shit you want to get up to tonight?

>>2419343
More zany than being a chaperone to some weird magical, child soldier dance you mean?

>>2419343

Introduce the kids of the Leaf and Sand to cocaine

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"Here," You reach back into the cupboard behind you, moving aside some carefully placed books and shit, before you pull out a thick, square glass container of amber liquid. "This is Manic Monkey Man spray, The Third himself posed for this stuff way back in the day and everything." Indeed, right on the front of the container is a picture of the Third Hokage in his younger days, posing half naked while lounging on a tree limb. The Third was....a bit weird back in the day.

"...alright." Sasuke says after a moments hesitation. He sprays himself a couple times, letting the aroma waft over him before he takes a sniff. "It smells like...confidence."

"Yeah, the Third was oozing that stuff back in the day." You stand up, groaning a bit when you feel a crick in your back but think nothing of it. You're young and spry still. "Alright let's head on over to the dance, don't wanna' keep ya' honey waitin'."

"What about Hiki and Taka?" Sasuke asks while blushing at your comment. Heheh.

"Suzu took'em both to the dance after she managed to get a shirt with sleeves on Hiki." Still don't know how she pulled that one off. Maybe some form of Jutsu, or that chloroform rag you saw her carrying earlier. Either or. You and Sasuke head out, the sun just setting behind you both as the streets are lit up by colorful lanterns, strings of flowers hanging between them on polls. You can see a whole lot of people from the Sand showed up, this little dance of peace between your kids just the thing everybody needed.

That and alcohol. Lots of alcohol.

You and Sasuke make it to the Academy where the dance is being held, Suzu's already out front collecting tickets with Inoichi of all people. She sees the two of you and waves, the dress she's wearing causing certain...parts of her to move about more than she probably meant. A couple of the young boys passes by nearly trip over each other as they watch. "Susumu, Sasuke!"

"H-hey Suzu." Sasuke says, looking down at his feet as he blushes. Holy shit this kid is adorable.

"Oh my gosh! Did you get those flowers for your date?" Suzu leans forward, wrapping Sasuke up in a hug that causes the kid to go several shades of red. "That's sooooo cute!"

"Right right, let the boy go Suzu before ya' choke him to death." You pat Sasuke on the back, feeling sorry for the boy. "So, who'd they get to DJ tonight?" You ask Inoichi.

"Well-" He starts, but is soon cut off by a rather loud record scratch followed by...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMtNPotN_1s

"Alllllllright kids, let's start shakin' those youthful legs and boogie on down to the dance floor!" You hear Guy's familiar voice call out, the funky beat of the music played loudly over it.

>A. "Oh god."
>B. "Awwwwright!" Guy knows how to throw down a beat.
>C. "This was Kakashi's idea wasn't it?"
>D. Indifference.
>E. Write-in

>>2419390

>E. "I have a terrible feeling about this."

>>2419390
>>E. Leave Sausage to fend for himself and find some booze to make this night more bearable.

>Inb4 the bears are dancing with Guy

>>2419402
>That spoiler
Thank you, I almost forgot about them.

>>2419390
>>B. "Awwwwright!" Guy knows how to throw down a beat.
>DJ Guy
This is the best thing.

>>2419390
>B. "Awwwwright!" Guy knows how to throw down a beat.

I love everything about this

>>2419390
>B. "Awwwwright!" Guy knows how to throw down a beat.

B-b-b-b-B!
Roll me some 1d5's real quick to see who else happens to be chaperoning
Taking third roll
>1. The Third
>2. Danzo(Fuck him)
>3. Hiashi, aka the Fifth
>4. Tsume(oh god)
>5. Tsunade(oh FUCK)

Rolled 2 (1d5)

>>2419439

Rolled 1 (1d5)

>>2419439

Rolled 5 (1d5)

>>2419439

Rolled 1 (1d5)

>>2419439

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>>2419446
Ayyyyyyyy.

....writing.

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>>2419453
i know that doujin

>>2419446
>Innocent bystander: "OH NO! Tsunade's trying to drink all the booze! If she succeeds, she'll go on a drunken tiddy monster rampage!"
>Susumu: Don't worry, I'll keep that from happening!"
>Proceeds to drink as much booze as possible to keep Tsunade from reaching drunken MILF rage

>>2419468
Truly, he is the hero Konoha needs.

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"Awwwwwriiiiight!" You shout, pumping your fist with excitement of the idea of Konoha's own Dancing Beast on the vinyl tonight. "Guy actually knows how to throw down, you're in for a hell of a treat Sasuke." You say, smacking the boy on the back as the two of you head inside. Looks like they've turned the gymnasium into some sort of techni-color horror show. "Good god why are there so many streamers?" You swipe some of the annoying paper away, and it of course breaks off in your hand, wrapping around you some more just to irritate you. "Wonder who else they got to chaperone tonight." You look around, spotting Iruka right away in the corner, keeping an eye on the kids and making sure nothing inappropriate happens, like sex. You spot that one Sand Jounin who was with Rasa, the guy who keeps half his face covered up like Kakashi for some reason. You wonder if he's got a sharingan as well. Lastly you notice...oh no.

"Oh yeah!" Tsunade screams, dancing around the gymnasium, bumping into multiple tiny children as those big ol' tiddies of hers just sway about. Wait, is that a sake bottle in her hands? Oh fuck. "C'mon Guy! CRANK IT UP!"

"The Youthful beats of scratched vinyl are turned up just enough, thank yoooooooou lady Tsunade!" Guy cries back, giving a thumbs up.

You sigh, maybe Guy's music can ease your worries, you're really gonna' have to keep an eye on Tsunade tonight....FOR SAFETY REASON! Not, uh, any other...reasons. You cough, nudging Sasuke forward a bit. "Go on kid, go find your honey and lay those moves on her like I showed ya'."

"R-right." Sasuke says, adjusting his tie before he moves on. You smiles as you watch him head over to Sakura, the girl squealing for joy as he hands her the flowers. You scan the room again, finding Hiki and the older Sand girl he's dating in the middle of the dance floor. Is he....is he letting her stand on his feet? Guess that's one way he can make sure not to step on her toes, of course those hands are a might too low for your liking.

You look around again and notice Taka over by the punch bowl with a cutely dressed Hanabi. Jesus you didn't think they made bows that big. They're chattin' it up with Inoichi's kid and that Aburame weirdo. Weird couple there. Hmm what else, OH! You see a couple kids managed to slip past Iruka's wandering eye and have gone underneath the bleachers, for what you can only guess.

>A. Go and stop that hanky panky bullshit.
>B. Head out onto the dance floor and try to calm Tsunade down...yeah.
>C. See what Taka's up to.
>D. Just boogie on down and show these kids what Susumu Tetsu can do!
>E. Write-in

>>2419492
>>B. Head out onto the dance floor and try to calm Tsunade down...yeah.

>>2419492
>B. Head out onto the dance floor and try to calm Tsunade down...yeah.
>D. Just boogie on down and show these kids what Susumu Tetsu can do!

>>2419492
>>D. Just boogie on down and show these kids what Susumu Tetsu can do!
MAXIMUM DAD MODE

>>2419492
>B. Head out onto the dance floor and try to calm Tsunade down...yeah

B wins( and we'll throw D in there too because who doesn't like a little D?)

Roll me 2d100's.
First is for you boogie
Second is for calming Tsunade.

>>2419522
Goddammit.
DC for calming Tsunade is 83 by the way.

Rolled 15, 99 = 114 (2d100)

>>2419522

Rolled 28, 97 = 125 (2d100)

>>2419522

Rolled 10, 36 = 46 (2d100)

>>2419523

Rolled 20, 67 = 87 (2d100)

>>2419522
here to save the boogie

Rolled 44, 59 = 103 (2d100)

>>2419522

>>2419536
>>2419538
>>2419547
>>2419550
>>2419551
>Managed to calm the Tiddy monster but sacrificed your groove

Was it worth it fellas? Was it worth it?

Rolled 53, 49 = 102 (2d100)

>>2419522

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>>2419553

>>2419536
>>2419538
>>2419547
>>2419550
>>2419551
Looks like Susumu threw his back out

We danced so badly we made her sober.
Yep. Total dad mode.

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Alright, first things first you gotta' calm down Tsunade before she takes off some poor kids head with those gigantic knockers of hers. Gotta' get over to her all smooth like though, make it too obvious and she'll hop away like a weary rabbit. Time to bring out the groove.

CLAP!
CLAPCLAP!

"Awww yeah!" You shout, clapping your hands as you boogie from side to side through the throng of dancing kids. Some of them stop and stare at you, pointing at your mad and sick moves no doubt. Hell one of them even cries tears of joy! You shimmy and shake your booty around, crying out in pain at one point as you nearly throw your back out. "Oh shit!" You groan, shaking it off before you slide and shake your way closer to Tsunade. Once by her side you have to lean away from a sudden swing, lest you get slapped by those tiddies....hmmmm. "Tsunade!" You cry out, still dancing to the beat. Man Guy really knows how to throw down some vinyl.

Tsunade turns around, her drunken face focusing in on yours until she grins, wrapping one arm around you and bringing your face right up next to the side of her tits. Oh god you hope Tsume isn't around. "Suuuusuuuumuuu!" She calls out drunkenly. "Did'joo come out here jush to dansh with me?!" Tsunade says, her speech slurred and her breath reeking of cheap sake. Sigh, just like the good ol' days.

"I cam here to stop ya' from pokin' some kids eye out." You say, trying to loosen yourself form her grip before giving up. Shit, it's not like you had a chance of beating her strength to begin with. "You know chaperones are supposed to uphold a standard for the kids, right?"

"Pffffft." Tsunade laughs, taking another chug of sake. "They're fine, they're fine! They're all too busy groppin' each other to care anyways, ain't that right kids!?" She asks a group of random boys, all of them staring right at her chest. Memorize it boys, remember it for later.

"Well...how about I make ya' one of my classic Susumu Screwdrivers?" You offer.

Tsunade grins, shaking her head in excitement. "You still make those?! Well hell yeah let's get to it!" She drags you over to the punch bowl, Taka and the others thankfully moved on by this point, before she knocks over a stack of red cups to reveal a hidden array of liquor. "Ssssshhhh! Don't tell Iruka I snuck these in, he'll be maaaaad."

"Riiiight." You say as she finally releases you. Right then, time to make that drink....or you could...

>A. Make the drink normally
>B. Put some spin in it to knock her out in one go. Hell you could knock out a whole country with one of these.
>C. Write-in

>>2419608
>>C. Write-in
>Make the drink with a special liquid "herbal supplement" to get her from being a destructive drunk to a chill laid back stoner.

>>2419608
>>A. Make the drink normally

>>2419625
.....getting the princess of konoha stoned sounds hilarious
Support

>>2419625
supporting

>>2419608
>>2419625
...I know this is probably a terrible idea but I really want to see it. Backing.

>>2419625
Add in cocaine

>>2419625

I'm supporting this

>>2419625
"Herbal Supplement" Screwdriver it is.

Now, all you have to do is beat a DC of 72.
That's it.
DO. NOT. GET. A. 1.

Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>2419654

Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>2419654

Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>2419654

>>2419658
>>2419659
How do you guys keep doing that?

Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>2419654
did somebody say a one?

Mmmmhmmmm. Not bad not bad.

One. More. Roll.

Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>2419654
I regret everything

Nice, writing this up and then calling it a night fella's. Will continue tomorrow at, let's say 12ish.

Writing.

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You grab up a few of the regular ingredients that are normally needed for a screwdriver, mainly orange juice and vodka, but quickly start to add in your own pinch of specialty. Lemon zest, a drip of apple juice, and lastly the secret ingredient, which for some reason you don't really feel like thinking about because hey, what if there were a bunch of losers listening in on your thoughts? After adding all that together, you give one last look at the intoxicated Tsunade before adding one more thing. The Good stuff. Just a pinch, mix it around and boom, it's hidden in the drink baby. "Bottoms up lady Tsunade."

"Hey who knows, maybe mine will be before the nights over huh? HUH!?" She elbows you in the side, rather fucking painfully, before she grabs the drink and downs the damn thing in one go. "Ahhhhh!" She sighs, smiling at you for a moment before she starts to sway slightly. "Whuuhhhh? Heeeeey, did you put something in my...." Tsunade begins to fall over, but you manage to catch her AND get a handful of tiddy in the process.

"You're a married man now Susumu." You tell yourself as you heft Tsunade onto your back and move her over to the same corner Iruka is standing.

"Oh god please tell me she isn't drunk." Iruka asks as he looks down at the passed out Tsunade.

"She's not." You say, causing Iruka to sigh in relief. "She's passed out and drunk. By the way there are some kids under the bleachers trying to get to second base right now."

"WHAT?!" Iruka rushes off, leaving you to collect your thoughts as Guy brings the boogie. So far so good, at least nothing majorly bad happened.

"Hey why are those bears break dancing with that red headed kid?" Some little kid says. You turn your attention to the dance floor, immediately seeing your four bears, all of them wearing strange red jackets and sunglasses, as they break dance battle with that little weird red headed kid from the Sand. Holy shit that kid's got some moves too.

"Elder Susumu." You look down, seeing Hiki standing beside you. You see that his sleeves are still on so that's good. "I have a question."

"I might have an answer." You reply.

"I'm not supposed to grab a girls butt right?" He asks you.

You nod. "Right, that's called harassment. You can remember because it's got ass in it."

"Okay, but what if the girl asks you to grab her butt?"

....Oh boy.

>END
>HOPe ya'll had fun tonight
>Any questions?

>>2419711
Beautiful. Thanks for the run Moon!

>>2419711
Hiki a good boy. Thanks for running, Moon.

If you thought that was fun wait till you see what Taka's been up to.

>what if the girl asks you to grab her butt?

If you have permission it's fine

>>2419711
And then Hiashi also listened in, causing a crisis meeting on what the best answer is.

Next session in like thirty minutes. Will be a shortish one today but we still should get some fun in.

>>2420325
Wow you are doi g a session now? Uh okay.

>>2420345
I got work later brah.

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>You're still Susumu
>And now you're dealing with this shit
>Also still not old.

"Okay, uhhhhh." You scratch your head as you stare down at the innocent killing machine before you, Hiki's wide eyes seeming to stare a hole right into your very heart. Shit, and he's actually kinda' cute in that suit of his. When's the last time he actually wore anything with sleeves? No, no focus on the issue at hand, touchin' girls asses. "Right well, first off this girl who wants you to touch her as-...butt, she is your girlfriend right? Not just some random pervert?"

Hiki nods. "Yes, it was during our dance a while ago. Temari said it would be fine if I placed my hands on her hips, but then I said I might accidentally grab her but if I did, and then she blushed and leaned into my ear and said that it was okay and then I came over here."

"....well I guess...Hmmm." You rub your chin, trying to think of how best to handle this situation. Hiki's thirteen now, still young but not exactly a child, and it's not like he and this girl don't get along well enough. Still, what if this Temari girl tries to take advantage of Hiki's trusting nature? Not to mention you heard that she also managed to suplex Suzu of all people, so she may be top girl right now in Hiki's life.

>A. "I'd say it's fine as long as she's fine with it."
>B. "You know poop comes out of girls butts too right Hiki?"
>C. "Go ask Taka."
>D. "Only do something to someone that your comfortable with happening to you. So if you grab her butt, she's gotta' grab yours."
>E. Write-in

>>2420361
>D. "Only do something to someone that your comfortable with happening to you. So if you grab her butt, she's gotta' grab yours."

>>2420361
>D. "Only do something to someone that your comfortable with happening to you. So if you grab her butt, she's gotta' grab yours."

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>what if this Temari girl tries to take advantage of Hiki's trusting nature
>Hiki's trusting nature

I believe that's exactly what Temari wants.

>>2420361
>>D. "Only do something to someone that your comfortable with happening to you. So if you grab her butt, she's gotta' grab yours."

D it is. Writing.

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"Only do something to someone that you're comfortable with happening to you." You say, trying to bring out your inner Hiruzen. "So if you grab her butt, she's gotta' grab yours."

Hiki nods, slamming his fist into his open palm. "I see, so a relationship is all about give and take."

You blink in surprise. "Uh, yeah actually it is. You caught on pretty qui-"

"But if one person takes too much then they can't give it just as good, so it's all about a balance of givin' it to them and then takin' it." Oh god he's starting to make some really questionable allegories here. "So if Temari grabs my butt I have to make sure I grab the same amount she does. That's going to be hard, Temari has a pretty big butt Susumu."

"Awwwwwright I think we can the conversation on that note." You turn Hiki around, ushering the kid back over to the dance floor where his sweetie is waiting. Looking back over to the bears and Gaara, you can see that the red head has pretty much destroyed the group of furry dancers, emotionally not physically. You gotta' wonder who taught that kid how to groove.

You feel a sudden, strong arm wrap itself around your neck, nearly picking you off your feet as you're dragged backwards and then slammed against the wall. Before you can react two hands slam themselves on either side of your head, and you can see Tsume's grinning face looking up at you. "Rrrrruff." Well that's both terrifying and erotic all at the same time. "Hey hot stuff, you got a date to the dance tonight?"

>A. "Well I was going to ask my wife, but you'll do I suppose."
>B. Mack her right on the lips! Susumu style smoochin' jutsu!
>C. Smack that ass!
>D. Pat her head
>E. "I just literally had to explain when it's appropriate to grab ass to Hiki. I need a dance now yes."
>F. Write-in

>>2420396
>>A. "Well I was going to ask my wife, but you'll do I suppose."

>>2420396
>E. "I just literally had to explain when it's appropriate to grab ass to Hiki. I need a dance now yes."

>>2420396
>>A. "Well I was going to ask my wife, but you'll do I suppose."

>>2420396
>>A. "Well I was going to ask my wife, but you'll do I suppose."

Head pats are like hand holding to the Inuzukas: very lewd and only for private time.

Sorry sorry, back. Okay roll me some 1d5's, taking third roll.
>1. Bad
>2. Good
>3. REALLY BAD
>4. Mediocre
>5. REALLY GOOD

Rolled 5 (1d5)

>>2420429

Rolled 4 (1d5)

>>2420429

Rolled 5 (1d5)

>>2420429

Rolled 5 (1d5)

>>2420429

Niiiiiiiice. Writing.

>>2420435
Wow yeah got our groove back~

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You smirk, wriggling your eyebrows for that added sex appeal as you lean down a bit to Tsume, your noses touching each other(sorry for lewd). "Well I was gonna' ask my wife to dance, but I guess a random lady'll do." Tsume laughs, smacking you in the shoulder before wrappin' her arms around your neck for a big ol' smooch. Hard to believe that annoyin' brat that used to follow you and the other kids around ended up being your wife. "So," You say after you manage to pry your lips from hers. "You wanna' boogie?"

"Hah! God you're such a nerd. But yeah!" She grabs your hand and drags you out to the dance floor, knocking over a couple kids in the process. "Let's shake our asses!" Tsume begins to....wow that is just straight up kicking and punching. Inuzuka's really don't know how to dance at all.

You're gonna' have to show her how it's done. "Guy!" You shout, getting the DJ's attention. "Drop me a be-"

"Susumu Tetsu?!" You get stopped mid-throwdown, frowning at the anxious looking young man that comes running to wards you with a satchel on his side. He reaches you, holding out a letter. "I apologize for interrupting, but I was told to deliver this immediately to you."

You frown, but sigh. "Yeah yeah thanks kid." You stare at the envelope, not seeing any signs of who it's from, just an address for it to be delivered to. You look up, the kid's still there and holding out one hand. "You want a tip?"

He nods.

You stare at him, stare at him for a long ass time till he blinks, then you give him a ten-note and shush him away. "What's in the letter." Tsume asks, leaning against you as you open it up to reveal..."Why's it blank?"

"Hmmm." You look over the letter before realizing it's not really blank, just under a jutsu. You bite your thumb before pressing it against the top of the page. The small drop begins to spread out, changing and forming into written words that, as you read them, makes your heart pound faster and faster in your chest.

Uncle Susumu, I saw your fliers and wish to talk with you as well. Meet me at the place of our greatest battle.
Itachi.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXLfg2ry_F4

"Finally." You say, clenching your fists as you start heading out the doors, ignoring Tsume's cries for what's going on. "Finally."
>End.
>Hope you all had fun for the short time it was.
>Any questions.
>Might do something later, LATE tonight.

>>2420463
>Shiiieeeeeettttt
What's Tsume thinking right now

>>2420481
>What's Tsume thinking right now
"Dam i was cock blocked by a Uchiha!"

>>2420463
Family is what makes the Tetsu clan what it is. I hope our meeting goes well.

>You look over the letter before realizing it's not really blank, just under a jutsu.

Well Susumu is dead he's already under the effect of the sharigan.

>>2420463
Time to adopt mustachio so he can reunite with sausage.

>>2420481
Mixed feelings on alerting the Hokage or letting Susumu handle it, probably.

New session in two hours.

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>You're still Susumu
>But now you're determined
>And not old.

"Susumu!" Tsume chases after you as you race out of the academy building, and you can practically feel the frown on her face as she stares at your back. "What the hell was that letter about!?"

"It's nothing dear." You say, trying to play it off and probably failing horribly. You're too excited, too wrapped up in your own thoughts to really care. He answered, Itachi actually answered. Unless this was a really fucked up prank from Kakashi, there's literally nobody else besides Itachi who could've read those fliers. You know Sasuke wouldn't try this, he's a good boy. "Just remembered I left a stash of the good stuff on my desk and I don't want the bears getting into it again."

Tsume flips over you, landing right in front of you with a stern look and her arms crossed. You sigh, stopping in your tracks. "First, those bears no better than to blow through an entire stash in one night, they're animals not scrubs, and secondly you're lying right to my face." Tsume leans forward, gripping the front of your robe tightly. "Now tell me what was on that letter before I get angry."

"You mean you're not already?" You say, causing her to frown some more. You sigh again, now what are you to do? Tell your wife that Itachi Uchiha contacted you and wants to meet in private? Like hell she'd go for that.

>A. Genjutsu her. You'll hate yourself for it though.
>B. Tell her the truth. Marriages can't have a foundation of lies. Except the sexy ones.
>C. Tell her some of the truth. Explain that you're going to meet with an old friend and it needs to be in private.
>D. Use that reverse summoning tag you placed on Hiashi all those years ago without him knowing.
>E. Write-in

>>2424098
>D. Use that reverse summoning tag you placed on Hiashi all those years ago without him knowing.

This is so susumu it hurts

>>2424098
>C. Tell her some of the truth. Explain that you're going to meet with an old friend and it needs to be in private.

>>2424098
>>B. Tell her the truth. Marriages can't have a foundation of lies. Except the sexy ones.

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>>2424098
>>C. Tell her some of the truth. Explain that you're going to meet with an old friend and it needs to be in private.>D. Use that reverse summoning tag you placed on Hiashi all those years ago without him knowing.

C&D's got the most, might as well combine like Anon suggested.

Now then, first roll me a 1d100 to see if Tsume believes your bullshitish excuse.
DC 84

Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>2424140

Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>2424140
Lmao as if, im here to fuck rolls

Wow these rolls are scary.

Still need like three more.

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>2424140

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>2424140

Rolled 3 (1d5)

>>2424179
>Gets a 1
>When lying to Tsume
Oh dear.

Well unless someone gets a roll that passes the DC, this here is a crit-fail.
Rolling someone myself here.

Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>2424140

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>>2424183
>3
Oh god things just got even worse.

Writing.

File: 0E25738B-CFCB-4A0C-A31A-8(...).jpg (90 KB, 400x417)

90 KB JPG

>>2424188

>>2424188
Well I was thinking of staying up to participate but I think I'll just knock out and see how fucked we got tomorrow.

File: 3154738-6968086592-39519[1].jpg (16 KB, 480x480)

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Right, you probably can't just outright lie to Tsume, you're pretty sure she can smell bullshit when it's right in front of her. But what about a little half-lie? "Alright look, the letter's from an old acquaintance of mine, and they're asking for a meeting that sort of needs to be privat-"

"Is it a woman?" Tsume asks, catching you off guard. "Is that why you're trying to keep the truth from me?"

"What? No, hold on do you think I'm cheating on you?" You frown, finding it hard to believe that Tsume would even jump to that conclusion. Really now, you're no cheatin' adulterer.

"Why not? It's not like we've exactly been doing much together ever since you found out I was pregnant with THREE of your children!" She shouts, poking you in the chest. Ouch. Okay that shit hurt. Wait, what's with that wet stuff coming out of Tsume's eyes? Oh shit is she crying?! DID YOU MAKE YOUR WIFE CRY! "You know it's not my fault I'm gonna' get fat soon! If you hadn't stuck your fat dick in me none of this would've happened!"

Oh fuck oh fuck! Gotta' get outta' here now! "Tsume, I promise you a thousand times over I'm not cheating on yo-"

"Is she younger than me?! You want some jailbait is tha-"

You don't let her finish, activating the reverse summoning jutsu that you placed on Hiashi years ago to get your ass out of there. One second your staring down at a crying Tsume, and the next you find yourself sitting in Hiashi's lap in the middle of the Hokage's office with the Elder Hyuga staring at the both of you. You're not sure what's worse. "Hiashi."

"Susumu." Hiashi responds coldly, waiting for you to get up off of him before looking at you. "Would you care to explain why you just teleported into my office."

"It's more than likely a trap." The Elder Hyuga says, standing up and pointing his cane at you. Holy shit he's old. "He's probably come to kill you and claim the title of Hokage for himself! Behead this idiot before he stabs you in the back son!"

"Actually I'm hiding from my wife." You say, causing the Elder to deflate.

"Oh? Oh." Why does he look so sad about that?!

"As funny as it might be to hear about your marital problems," Hiashi says, standing up. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"No problem, room's a little too stuffy anyways." You say, starting to head out the door.

"Wait!" Hiashi says, causing you to stop. "That's...not right. I realize we have had our...differences with each other Susumu, but as Hokage it's my responsibility to ensure everyone in the Village is happy. So," He gestures to the reclining couch just off to the side of his desk. "Why don't you tell me why you can't satisfy your wife anymore?"

For real?!

>A. "Nope." Try to leave.
>B. "My dick's way too big! It's a curse I tell ya'!"
>C. "Oh no! No! No therapy! I ain't goin' through that shit again!"
>D. Tell Hiashi the truth? He's the Hokage after all.
>E. Write-in

>>2424212
>E. Write-in
"She's just going through pregnancy mood swings, she even called my cock fat in public. She'll be over it in... never"

>>2424219
Double this.

>>2424219
support

>>2424219
Roll me some dice ya'll.
DC fuckin' 45.

Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>2424246

Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>2424246

Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>2424246
YYEEEETTT

Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>2424246

I don't even know how to dice lets see.

>>2424266
Thank christ one of you managed it.

Writing and then calling it a night. Tomorrow I got the whole day off so we should have an earlier session.

File: a54af4614e40a8c9dcdb9633e(...).png (878 KB, 819x915)

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Could just walk away right now, what's he gonna' do to you exactly? Poke ya' in the head and knock ya' out? Probably, that's how Hiashi used to steal your fucking rice balls back in the academy. Fuckin' little asshole. "Right well, she's just going through some pregnancy mood swings."

"Mood swings." Hiashi repeats, writing it down for some damn reason. What is he gonna' jerk off to the idea of your wife becoming crazy later or something? Ass.

"Yeah she even called my cock fat in public." You say, grinning as it causes the Elder to frown.

"Good lord that's vulgar."

"I know right? Anyways she should be over it in...never." You say, shrugging. "Now if you don't mind I got shit to do." You start to head out again, and stop to turn back and check to see if Hiashi's going to stop you.

He doesn't. "Well, make sure you spend some more time with her, family is important after all."

"Really? Wouldn't think you would've known that." You say, watching as Hiashi's eyes widen and then look down at his desk, downcast. Hmmph. You head out, walking past two Anbu agents who just shake their heads at you. "He knows what he did." You mumble.

Once outside you head to the place you were before, the site of yours and Itachi's greatest battle. "The Uchiha Compound." You say, staring at the open gate before you. You walk forward, your hand grasping the sides of the concrete walls before stepping in. It still feels weird to walk around here with nobody around. Used to be so lively...and now it's a ghost town. You head further in, walking past Sasuke's old house until you make it to the center of the compound, near the old well.

...Where Itachi's waiting for you. He's sitting on the edge of the well, staring down into it. That outfit, with the really weird popped collar and the red clouds, that's Akatsuki alright. He finally looks at you, the two of you locking eyes. "Uncle Susumu."

"Uncle Susumu?" Itachi looks up at you, barely taller than your knee and cuter than a button. "Do you ever feel sad? Because your...your family doesn't stick around as much?"

You grin, it's a sad one but it's honest, and you ruffle the boys hair. "Yeah, sometimes it really gets to me. But I found out a long time ago there's a way to dull the pain."

He looks up at you with wide eyes, full of wonder. "What?"

You pick him up, giving him a big hug as you see Fugaku and Mikoto walking up. "It's because I've got lots of friends, and cute little nephews like you."

"ITACHI!" You shout, stepping forward. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!?"

>END
>HOpe ya'll had fun
>We'll continue tomorrow at noonish.

>>2424309
FUCK YOU MOON I'M NOT HERE TO BE SAD

>>2424309
I thought this quest was about making parody of the series and was lighthearted. Were did the feel train came from?

Noonish has come and pass, my scrub tier QMing skills shown once again.

WE'll continue in four hours.

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>You are Susu-
>RAGE!

"Shouting's never really suited you uncle Susumu." Itachi calmly tells you as he brings his attention back to the well. The shadows of his face hide pretty much everything except for those eyes of his, glinting red in the moonlight. "Besides, there's no point in escalating things just yet, I was sure you'd have some questions for me."

"Oh I've got questions alright." You say, taking a step forward and then immediately stopping. A foot in front of you, just barely visible is a tripwire, and now that you've noticed that one the others scattered about the open area become all the more obvious. "Took some precautions didn't ya'?" You say, growling slightly.

Even with that popped collar you can tell he just smirked. "I'm not a fool. If you get close enough there's a chance you could entrap me in some forbidden Genjutsu or blow yourself up in order to get revenge for my father."

"Or I could slap you upside the head." You say, staying put but crossing your arms. "Fine I got some questions, but lets get the biggest one out of the way. Why'd you do it?"

Itachi is silent for a moment, staring down at the well before he turns his full attention to you. "I needed to test my mettle. Killing of the Uchiha, letting them die by my hand was just another stepping stone on my path to improving myself. I left Sasuke alive so that he could grow that hatred he has for me and become another challenge, another stepping stone." Itachi climbs down off of the well, staring at you, watching your face twist into rage. "Have you been training him well, uncle Susumu?"

>A. "Bullshit! I don't care how fuckin' much you want me to buy this excuse, but there's no way you took out the entire Uchiha Clan in one night by yourself! You weren't that good then."
>B. "A stepping stone? You killed your entire family, the people that loved you, just so you could get stronger?!"
>C. "Sasuke won't be driven by hatred, I'm taking care of him now, he's been adopted into the Tetsu Clan."
>D. "What happened to you Itachi?"
>E. Attack.
>F. Write-in
>You can pick up to two

>>2426290
>A.
>C.

>>2426290
>C. "Sasuke won't be driven by hatred, I'm taking care of him now, he's been adopted into the Tetsu Clan."
>F. Write-in
Bullshit! You cared about your family, you wanted to spend more time with them! Then all of a sudden you kill them to "test your abilities"? That makes no sense!

>>2426290
>c
>f bullshit itachi, i know what you're really like, you're way too much of a goody goody to be like this...it was danzo wasn't it, I FUCKING KNEW IT

>>2426303
Supporting

>>2426303
>>2426307
>support both F they don't contradict and they're both good

>>2426303
Right on this wins.

Can you pierce Itachi's heart?!
Roll me some 1d100's!
DC 93

Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>2426331

Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>2426331
Im guessing no

Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>2426331

Brb takin' a shit. Two more rolls please.

Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>2426331
Yeet

Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>2426331
Please

Hmmm, nope. He's not ready to tell you 'stuff' yet.

Rolled 69 (1d100)

K

>>2426368
We should've asked Kakashi for advice on piercing hearts before hand

>>2426375
>>2426368
Okay thanks Chaos.

"First, Sasuke ain't gonna' be driven by rage and vengeance any more, he's part of the Tetsu Clan now. I adopted him." You can see this surprises Itachi a bit, enough to make the boy widen his eyes. Now if only he'd see reason. "And also, BULLSHIT!" You shout the last part, causing a flock of crows to scatter about. When did they even get there? "You cared about your family, you wanted to spend more time with them!"

"I acted the part that would cause me the least amount of trouble." He says. "I hated every minute I spent with them."

Oh he's really trying to push your fucking buttons. "So what, you just all of a sudden decide you wanted to test your abilities then? Slaughter the whole fuckin' Clan? That makes no sense!"

"I suppose it wouldn't to someone like you." Itachi says, one of the crows landing on his shoulder. "You have talents that others could only dream of, and yet you waste them by spending your days with weaklings and those beneath your notice. You could've been Hokage instead of Hiashi, but you never even considered it an option did you?" The crow on his shoulder caws, its eyes turning red. Wait.... "Just like you never noticed you were put into a Genjutsu."

You blink, the world around you becoming...somehow inverted. Red and black cloud your vision as you find yourself upon a cross, multiple Itachi's surrounding you with blades. "The hell?"

"How does it feel uncle Susumu." The Itachi's all say at once. "To be bested in Genjutsu?"

>A. Angry
>B. Amused
>C. Annoyed
>D. Sad
>E. Write-in

>>2426412
>B. Amused
"look who grew up to be petty, you still feel a need to have other people confirm your own skills?"

>>2426412
>B
Fucking sharingan, now get ready for the *real shit*

>>2426412
>B
Still up to the old tricks itachi

>>2426412
>B

B it is.
ROll me some 1d100's.
DC 50

Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>2426440

Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>2426440

Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>2426440
Hahaha

>>2426451
Remember, you're a fucking Genjutsu master

Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>2426440

>>2426454
Shiiiiieeeeeeet.

>>2426454
Apparentfuckingly

Well I think we've established that Tsukuyomi ain't got shit on us.

Writing.

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Hmmm. You look around a bit, looking at the multiple Itachi's that are you all focused on you. Then you're looking at yourself, who's looking at the multiple Itachi's who are looking at you. "Weird," You say, standing on top of the cross while also being crucified on it. "Fugaku talked about this before but never actually used it himself. Seeing it happen to you in person...it's a trip."

"How are-" The multiple Itachi's look confused, and you can't really blame them. How many people has Itachi gotten with this move? Ten? Twenty? Maybe a hundred? You doubt he's actually come across someone who could fuck with him as well as you could though. "Tsukuyomi can't be broken unless that person has a Sharingan AND the same bloodline as the caster. What is this?"

"Who said I broke it." You say, sitting on top of the giant red moon looking down on everyone. You're probably a thousand feet tall at this point, or maybe only a few inches. Measurements don't mean anything here. You reach through your robes, passing through the fabrics and bringing out a full pack of cigarettes that weren't there when you came to the compound. It's already lit when you put it in your mouth. "We're still in Tsukuyomi Itachi, I've just taken hold of the reigns is all." You blow a smoke ring down onto the group of Itachi's, the second it makes contact with them they become tiny bonsai trees, all except for the one Itachi in the middle. "Did your dad ever tell you about the markings on my back?"

Itachi glares up at you, but remains still. "He said I wasn't supposed to ask you about them. And I've yet to find any information on them anywhere else in the world. It's as if-"

"It's as if they're not of this world." You finish, now standing behind the boy. "You don't need to see where these markings come from Itachi, so tell me something before I show you."

"...what?"

>A. "Who really killed the Uchiha?"
>B. "Why did you really kill the Uchiha?"
>C. "....Danzo was behind it, wasn't he."
>D. Write-in

>>2426503
>B. "Why did you really kill the Uchiha?"
>C. "....Danzo was behind it, wasn't he."

>>2426503
>b
>c

>D
I still love you my dear nephew

>>2426503
>B. "Why did you really kill the Uchiha?"
>C. "....Danzo was behind it, wasn't he."

>>2426503
>C. "....Danzo was behind it, wasn't he."
>D. Write-in
You still care about Sasuke don't you? That is why you spared him.

>>2426518
>>2426524
>>2426527
BC wins.
Now then.
1d100...+10
DC 89
Do it anons.
UNLOCK THE MYSTERY!
SUSUMUMANIA!

Rolled 14 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>2426538

Rolled 58 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>2426538

Rolled 51 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>2426538

Rolled 79 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>2426538
Can I get lucky twice!

>>2426546
Yes you can anon.
On the dot.

>>2426546
You did it anon!
You fuckin' found out it was Danzo!
....
OH FUCK YOU FOUND OUT IT WAS DANZO!

>>2426550
TETSUMANIA ABOUT TO RUN WILD ALL OVER DANZOS ASS!

Okay then give me a quick 1d4 to see who shows up upon this little conversation.
Taking fourth roll
>1. Sasuke
>2. Danzo
>3. Hiruzen
>4. Hiki?

Rolled 1 (1d4)

>>2426560

Rolled 3 (1d4)

>>2426560

Rolled 4 (1d4)

>>2426560

Rolled 3 (1d4)

>>2426560

>>2426564
>Best Hokage shows up
Not too bad. Though Hiki would've been funnier. Writing.

"Why did you really kill the Uchiha?" You ask, grabbing hold of his shoulder even though he's not really here. You might as well be touching air. But you think it's real, and in this black and red world that's all that matters. "This whole bullshit about testing your mettle, about your family being stepping stones, it just doesn't make any sense."

"...If I told you, if you really knew, then it'd only cause problems." He says, not looking at you. Itachi's hiding something. Why would he care about problems? He's a fucking Missing Nin, the only way he'd care is if...

"You're not worried about yourself if you tell me are you?" You're in front of Itachi now, but you're also behind him and above him. You're everywhere. He can't avoid your gaze. You are the floor and the sky, you are the being nailed to the cross and the cross itself. You are the world. "You're worried about what'll happen to Sasuke if you tell me, which means that whatever the reason behind what happened, there's someone else involved that could put Sasuke in danger." You frown, a name you've thought of many times before popping up. "Itachi," You say, gripping the boys shoulder with one thousand hands, four thousand fingers digging into the fabric. "Who ordered you to kill them?"

Itachi remains still, his eyes staring into yours for what seems like an eternity, the red of the Sharingan trying to hold back the answer to the question you've been asking all these years.

And then he blinks. "You know who it is."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOr0na6mKJQ
"Danzo." You snarl, letting go of Itachi's shoulder as you feel the boiling rage start to bubble up inside you. The world around you changes from black and red to one of familiar colors. You are back in the compound, Itachi staring at you just as he was before. You are no longer the world, you are but one man.

But you are one very pissed off man. Your rage could forge blades of the finest caliber, that's how hot it burns. So wrapped up in your anger are you that you don't notice Itachi looking behind you, you don't hear the sounds of an old mans footsteps approaching, heavy with the weight of the world baring them down. You don't even notice when the old man puts his hand on your shoulder, finally pulling you out of your rage. "Susumu." Hiruzen says, getting your attention finally. "I believe it's time we talked about what happened."

"...yes." You say, frowning down at the Third. The rage doesn't subside like it usually does, it stays there with you, a part of you. It is you.

You are Susumu Tetsu, and you are going to kill. Danzo.

>END
>Hope ya'll had fun
>Whoosh
>Any questions?
>Next session tomorrow at the same time.

>>2426584
Just my luck that I caught up
BEST
CLIFF
HANGER
EVER

>>2426584
Thanks for the run Moon! So did Itachi just fuck off when the 3rd approached?

>>2426604
No he's still there. Kinda' awkwardly waiting around.

He didn't plan for things to go this way.

Also He wants to spend some more time with his Uncle Susumu.

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165 KB JPG

>>2426584
Damn... This was probably the best outcome, but I would have liked we had gotten Danzo, then we could have killed him in sight. Sasuke would have been great, could have used pic related. And Hiki could have made a reference to when we first used genjutsu so long ago...

>>2426610
>That spoiler
That's goddammed adorable. Unless I'm horribly misinterpreting this.

>>2426610
That dumb little shit. We're gunna handle his ass. Rip Danzo open, get Itachi some bread from the bakery, bond again, talk about Sasuke. The usual family shit.

>>2426610
>Spoiler
Itachi wants some Suzu doesn't he

>>2426736
I'd support after we slap some sense into him.

>>2426736
Susumu: "Well Itachi, now that we've completely dealt with the Danzo problem-"
Itachi: "You threw him off a cliff."
Susumu: "-I think now's a good time for you to enjoy a nice meal with the family again. Suzu's even bringin' some bread!"
Itachi: "Su-Suzu's coming?"
>nervous Itachi noises.

New session in three hours. I love you guys.

>>2428380
Hell yeah!

File: giphy (1).gif (476 KB, 450x270)

476 KB GIF

>>2428380
Love ya' too.

>>2428380
ho boy i've been waiting for this for a good 3/4ths of the quest, we finally gonna go on our danzo induced killing spree.
fuck yes.

File: latest[1].png (2.24 MB, 1920x1080)

2.24 MB PNG

>Wow you're still Susumu
>Weird

"...The other elders on the council had already decided by that point that the threat of an Uchiha uprising was too dangerous to risk." The Third continues, smoking on that pipe of his as he stared up at the moonlight. You leaned against the long vacant remains of an old house while Itachi continued to stay near the well, where he's been silent ever since the Third arrived. "They were already sure that it was the Uchiha who had sent Kurama to attack us some thirteen years ago, and with Danzo's prodding it didn't take much for them to reach a detestable conclusion." He sighs, shaking his head with regret.

"And you didn't try to stop them because...?" You ask, frowning as you cross your arms and stare at the Third's back. When did it stop looking so big and start to look so small?

Itachi sits up, answering for the Third. "At that point Danzo had already given me the ultimatum, kill my entire Clan and let Sasuke live, or fight and then no one survives." Itachi closes his eyes for a moment, just briefly before he opens them back up. God he looks tired. "But you were right earlier uncle, I didn't do it all on my own. Madara Uchiha helped." You feel like somebody just socked you right in the gut. Madara of all people, back? She was...she still is probably the most dangerous shinobi that's ever talked about. "Or rather," Itachi continues, knocking you out of your train of thought. "Somebody pretending to be her. Whoever they were, they were highly skilled, and did a majority of the work...looking back it's obvious that Danzo just wished for me to die in the process."

Right...Danzo. You take one last drag of the cigarette before crushing it in your iron hand, the ashes fluttering down to the ground. "So then, Danzo..." You can feel the Third's eyes on you, watching you to see what you do. Don't blame him, you got a lot of rage festering right now.

>A. "I'm gonna' kill him."
>B. Focus back on Itachi right now. "So this Akatsuki stuff, that just a cover or what?"
>C. Remain quiet. Think of the ways you're going to kill Danzo.
>D. "Sir, if he ain't banished by morning you know what's going to happen. What I'm going to do."
>E. Write-in

>>2428993
>>B. Focus back on Itachi right now. "So this Akatsuki stuff, that just a cover or what?"

>>2428993
>D. "Sir, if he ain't banished by morning you know what's going to happen. What I'm going to do."
>E. Write-in
"I'm going to go have a conversation with the Caterpillar."

>>2428993
>B.

>>2428993
>>D. "Sir, if he ain't banished by morning you know what's going to happen. What I'm going to do."

>>2428993

>B. Focus back on Itachi right now. "So this Akatsuki stuff, that just a cover or what?"
>D. "Sir, if he ain't banished by morning you know what's going to happen. What I'm going to do."

Oh boy my murder boner is fully erect

>>2428993
>>A. "I'm gonna' kill him."
>>B. Focus back on Itachi right now. "So this Akatsuki stuff, that just a cover or what?"

B&D seem the most popular. Gonna' give it a few more minutes then calling the vote.

Rolled 85 (1d100)

Alright B&D win.

Wellll....time to convince the Hokage to take the smart action here, otherwise it's gonna' be a bloodbath at dawn.

1d100
DC...whatever I roll.

Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>2429039

Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>2429039
Let's go.

Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>2429039

Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>2429039

>>2429039
could you roll worse please?

Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>2429061
I can try.

>>2429062
Oh fuck off

Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>2429039
Come on hiru!

>>2429062
.....

Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>2429044
>>2429047
>>2429056
>>2429060
>>2429067
Hmmmmmm

Oh magic dice gods, should I technically count my roll here >>2429062
>1. Yes
>2. No

>>2429062

I vote we count this as our 5th roll

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>2429039
1 get

>>2429067
Well time to gather all the warriors. It's gonna be a bloodbath

>>2429073
Dice gods have spoken, you passed.

But at what cost?

Writing.

>>2429079

>At what cost

Not sure really

>>2429079
Well that's ominous. How many death flags is Susu at right now?

>>2429062
I will only be satisfied if the Third plans to kill Danzo himself

File: c7dd92fdc2a95e43b80faa014(...).jpg (31 KB, 542x403)

31 KB JPG

No, no not right now. Maybe in a minute you can dwell on what you'll do to Danzo, but right now you wanna' ask Itachi some more questions. "So, this Akatsuki thing, that a front or are you really trying to capture the Uzumaki kid?" You ask, turning your attention back to Itachi.

"I've been working on trying to steer them away from Konoha as much as possible," He answers. "Gathering intel on them and trying to find out who's pulling the strings."

"It's some guy named Pain ain't it? That Hidan guy Sinchu caught a while back spilled the beans on it after a few minutes of...careful conversation." You grin a little, thinking back to when Sinchu came home that night tired but happy. His knuckles were fuckin' bloody as all hell though.

Itachi shakes his head. "Pain may act as the head but there's another who works in the shadows. I'm sure it's the same one who posed as Madara Uchiha all those years ago." He says.

"Great, well at least I don't have to worry about that from now on." You say, rubbing your bald head. "Now, back to Danzo." Saying that gets the Thirds attention once again. You stare at him for a moment, taking in his expression before sighing. Goddammit. "He needs to be banished from this Village by sunrise, because if he ain't then you know what I'm gonna' do." You move from the wall and begin to leave, Hiruzen calling out to you.

"Susumu wait, you can't honestly expect things to go that easily!" The Third shouts at you, a bit of pain in his voice. Right, this is probably hard on him, more than you realize. Him and Danzo, they go way back, and as much as the Third is into the Will of Fire it probably hurts him even more.

You keep walking though, waving your hand back at him. "Tell Hiashi everything I just found out, man's a complete tool but I'm guessing even he would see reason to want Danzo gone."

"And just where will you go uncle?" Itachi asks.

"Me? I'm going home and getting some rest." You pause, looking back at the two. "Something tells me I'm gonna' need it."

>Now then, how do you prepare for the morning?
>Complete write-in

>>2429128
I think the most resonable option is to get into our private stash

>>2429128
Gather the Tetsu, Root goes down tomorrow!

>>2429128
>>2429128
Put the word out to all our friends and allies and anyone that doesn't like Danzo. Bust out all our old equipment. Get ready for war.

>>2429128

Let's see if we can get Itachi onboard the banishment/murder of Danzo for one thing. And maybe get something from dankest caterpillar Absalom that'll get rid of Danzo for good. Also have the clan make sure Atsuko is restrained

>>2429128
Prepare our full battle gear to either be summoned equipped to us in an instant, or wear it and hide it in a genjutsu. Drink some special tea that removes all intoxication and make us sharp.

>>2429148

Combine mine with this here

>>2429148
This, gather all tetsu's

>>2429128
>Attempt to wrangle wife

>>2429164

She's still pregnant anon

>>2429148
Support

EVERY friend EVERY ally EVERY person who wants danzo dead

>>2429148
>>2429147
This is similar enough, and first part of this
>>2429149
is close enough. So is this
>>2429152
Okay then. Call to arms and bust out the old gear....
>What does your old gear look like again?

Also start rolling me some 1d100's, we're gonna' have a tier system to see if just who you can rope into this with you.

Tier 1: 60
Tier 2: 70
Tier 3: 80
Tier 4: 90
Tier 5: 100

No crits. Roll.

>>2429175

Could add mine in too, so that we don't end up killing a fellow Tetsu and see how much of a lightweight Danzo is

Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>2429182

>>2429128
Gather the Tetsu and those closest to us, including Tsume who we will fucking apologize to and explain everything.

And I mean everyone we can get our hands on, including the semi-retired Anju (that was S-class auntie swords woman's name, right?). Make sure Atsuko is tied up.

>>2429187
>Having Auntie Anju tie up Atsuko
L-lewd.

Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>2429182

Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>2429182
Is Susumu having sage mode still canon? Because in that case we should gather senjutsu from now.

Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>2429182
Oh boy can't wait to roll less than 60. We're really good at that.

>>2429182
Yooo let's gooo

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>2429182
Allies

>>2429182
I am not sure I should roll

Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>2429182

>>2429197
Did... I failed at dice. Fffuuuck.

>>2429193

A shining ray of optimism aren't you?

>>2429203

Just roll

>>2429203
Didn't work anyway, phone acting up

Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>2429182

Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>2429182
Just rolling

Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>2429206
>>2429197
T-twice? The first time I did Dice+1d100, the second was Dice=1d100, this one is dice+1d100

Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>2429182

>80
>Tier 3

That's not bad. Could've been worse, could've been better, but it's not bad.
Here's who you got.
>Inuzuka's, obviously.
>The fighting force of the Tetsu's
>Inoiki of all people.
>Guy. Beware Villains.

Now then, you didn't roll high enough for Itachi to join up, mostly because he still needs to stay hidden cause he's undercover, and a lot of the other people who aren't really THAT close to you wouldn't have accepted this anyways. Still, that's a good fighting force.

Now then, one final vote. It's a big one.

>A. Intent to kill Danzo
>B. Intent to capture Danzo.

>>2429218
>A. Intent to kill Danzo
but, if someone can convince us
>capture Danzo

Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>2429182
Hell, trying again

>>2429218
>>A. Intent to kill Danzo

>>2429218
>>A. Intent to kill Danzo

>>2429218
>B. Intent to capture Danzo.

He must be held accountable, aye, but we also need to know what the fuck. Interrogate that bitch.

Also, no Akimichi? I thought we was like, super bros tight.

>>2429218
>intent to capture danzo

>>2429218

>A. Intent to kill Danzo

File: Spoiler Image (103 KB, 850x530)

103 KB JPG

>>2429218
>A. Intent to kill Danzo

>Susumu and guy coming to fuck Danzo's shit up
>Oh yeah and all those other people
Danzo's so fucked.

>>2429218
>>B. Intent to capture Danzo.
The look on his face when the village he 'loves' throws him out like the garbage he is would be more satisfying then killing him.
But not by much.

>>2429218
>A. Intent to kill Danzo
If there's any families that don't want him dead then they need to get him out of the village before we get to him.

Intent to kill it is.

Okay then.....writing.

Oh, by the way, anybody seen Gangs of New York? No reason....

>>2429241
Srsly tho, no Akimichi? Weren't they our closest allies?

>>2429243
Literally nobody wants to hang out with them in this quest

>>2429241

Are we getting Daniel Day-Lewis?