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>>2836115
>>2836115

>You brood, surrounded by the spoils of your conquest
>Flat screen TVs flicker in and out of life as your mood ebs
>Your bean bag throne is too soft
>So you are standing
>With your gaze pointed out the ruined stained glass window
>Mourning your losses
>Mulling your future

A: "There's a whole lotta fuckin' shit I gotta do..."
L: "Such as?"
>Luna knows good and well what troubles you
>That's just her way
>Guiding with questions
>Leaving doors open for you to walk through


>You snarl
>Turn back and pace

A: "Bow's a savage. We're nearly broke. We got like...SIX skeletons left in the army."
L: "So eager to jump at what you lack, aren't you?"
>You pause
A: "I got school tomorrow."
L: "Do you need school?"
>You growl, bite your upper lip
A: "I -want- school."
L: "Even with that bothersome detention?"
A: "I wanna see my friends."
L: "If that's what you want. Very well."
>Luna holds your chin up
>Looks you up and down
>She smiles
L: "For now, my dear."
>She turns you to examine the throne room
>It's clean now
>Lit by tasteful hanging bulbs and the occasional lightning arc
>Each wall is adorned with a broad flat screen
>All of which is connected to a game system
>A movie player
>Gadgets galore
>It's elegant
>Almost regal
>Although empty

L: "You're home."
>Luna kisses your cheek
L: "Handle matters -here- first. Tend to what is yours. Add to it, once it cannot be improved any further."
A: "huh..."
L: "Clean your room."
A: "WHA!?"
>Luna chuckles
>Her eyes smolder pink

L: "I kid."
A: "Oh. Phwew! Had be kinna spooketh, mom."
L: "You -should- have a look around however."

>The doors to your throne chamber kick open
Su: "ANOWN! HOWY FUCK!"
>It's Susan

https://youtu.be/3CWKYAKGhTQ

Su: "Whad'we gonna do today!?"


>Go check on Bow (Your Drake who's been made insane by foul magics and probably plant disease)

Takes you to Wondervon's Laboratory


>Talk with Luna (Your mom is like a bajillion years old, super magic and loves you. A whole biggety bunch.)

Takes you to the castle garden.

Current missions and needs include

>You've got $3,000 total
>Fuck that's not much for a kingdom

>You are currently out of metal
>You are currently out of fresh bodies


Well, your majesty.

What do?


PRESENTING
>pic related


A basic map of Luna's Castle.
At last.
The immaterial takes form.

>Talk with Luna

>Clear out the garden while the boys scout the rooms for loot to maybe sell at quest buy if its useless

>Straight up ask "Mom, are you okay?"

>>2836121
Fuck, I REEALLY want to fix up our beautiful pet son.
But I gotta support >>2836130

>>2836121
>Talk with Luna (Your mom is like a bajillion years old, super magic and loves you. A whole biggety bunch.)

>>2836130
Look at the stuff before selling. Don't want to give away anything we might actually want.

>>2836143
Of course, first rule of remodeling a house is to clear out the rooms and sort out what is garbage and what is useful.

>>2836121
>Talk with Luna
Guys, we need to know more magic, because knowing is half the battle
https://youtu.be/pele5vptVgc

>>2836121
>Talk to Marm.
>Mom how do we talk about stuff?

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>>2836121
Talk to Luna first.

Then go check on Bow.

THEN, go check on Entropy.

Lets get some actual questions.

>What happened between you and Jackie?

>You've been very...hostile of late to the minions, what is bothering you?

>How can we strengthen the bond between us so you using magic doesn't melt my brain?

>When we get the Resurrection and vessel spells are we going to bring you back?

>If we are linked so closely can't you simply load in your magical knowledge or is it too complicated?

>Can you tell me what you gardened here?

>Could we make changes to this place, add a sun, maybe some water, clean up the nasty things in the woods?

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>>2836130
I support this, yes. Talk to our mom for Luna's sake.

>>2836121
Replenish our numbers. A kingdom without subjects is no kingdom at all. Also bring back our boi Graves, he is a good boy.

>>2836195
>Maybe add in doing the mind share thing to learn the basics of luna's life, birthday, favorite foods, best hat etc etc.

WE have a direct soul link with luna we rarely engage with, usually only to act as a message relay. We should actually connect with her.

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A: "Mom...can we talk?"
L: "I'm always listening."
A: "No, like. Can we hang out?"
>Luna blinks
>Only looks slightly bemused
L: "I'm always here."
A: "No. I want to..."
>You motion between yourself and her
A: "Us. Dos. The two of us."
L: "It's a bit soon for that."
>Your ears burn as you seethe out through your teeth
A :"I JUST WANT SOME FAMILY TIME."

Su: "Wow. Wike I'm nowt even hewe."
A: "You."
>You almost snap
>but no
>No
>You center

A: "Your hair looks really nice, Suze."
Su: "I know."
A: "Maybe we can hang out at school soon. Go with the boyz. Check the junk we cleared outta the house. See if anything's valuable."
Su: "Psh. Weww awite but onwy if you s-"
A: "Please."
Su: "...yeah, ok."


>She's off
>Luna hovers beside you for a moment
>Then
>She offers you her hand
L: "Shall we?"

https://youtu.be/urReAfXiWoI

>It's an odd sight
>You
>Misshapen little monster
>Walking hand in hand
>With such a delicate little shape
>Luna doesn't breathe passively
>She doesn't need it
>Her tiny body just poises itself like a doll
>Her pink eyes shine ahead light spotlights
>Only now do you notice the wobble in your step
>Muscles has gotten heavy
>When you straighten up however
>Hey~
>+1 strength
>Your posture
>You can hold it


A: "There's so much I want to ask you."
L: "I know."
A: "My magic can do anything, can't it?"
L: "Our powers are quite formidable."
A: "Am I god?"
L: "I should hope not. Parasites, the lot of them."
A: "You've called me one before."
L: "As an object of worship, yes."
>Luna pats your head
L: "Because I adore you."
A: "shhrhrmm damnit c'mon mom don't be fuk....mm."
>You stammer
>Then snap yourself to attention
A: "Are you ok?"
>Luna pauses
L: "I'm with you."
A: "Is that always enough?"
L: "For the most part."
A: "What abou-...I think I can -feel- you sometimes."
L: "That would be nice."
>Luna looks at her hand
>While you're holding it the surface somewhat gives
>Like a balloon
>Or an inflated piece of paper

>As you both pass through the tall, darkened hallways and out past the exterior wall
>Luna's moon shines overhead
>There is no sun here
>No wind
>No clouds
>Luna and you are bathed in silver darkness

>The door to the garden looms ahead
>A web of iron with moss coated glass between the frames
>A figure emerges from within
>Opens the door for you both

L: "Thank you, Mr. Velvet ear."
>The gold skeleton with a Rabbit's head
>Luna's first servant
>He was waiting for you when you came to this place
>His clothes look more new
>His buttons are polished

cont

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>>2836195
>>2836195

Practical concerns. Very forward.

>Inside the Greenhouse are a series of concrete paths
>Which cross between a huge open expanse of deep, dark, dirt.

>The lights here are broad
>Most of the illumination is from the moon

>Velvet ear walks past you and Luna
>To a small table near the center of the chamber
>On it, rests a silver serving dish
>He lifts it

>Three Seeds on a fine piece of China are presented
>Along with tea
>Still hot


What do you ask Luna?

>About your magic
>About the Seeds
>About ruling

>>2836195
>>2836195
A: "Mom. I'm serious. I think you've been...angry. Hostile even."
L: "See that one?"
>She points toward the three seeds
>Specifically one shaped like a mourning face

L: "That one should be your favorite."

>Seems Luna
>Just like you
>Tends to prefer her work to her own temperament

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>>2836143
>>2836130
>Selling things at QuestBUY.
As far as I'm aware, Quest buy is like any other hypermarket retail store.

You don't go to Walmart to Sell things. You go to BUY them.
You can't haggle with a cashier at Walmart over how many sheeps you'll trade him for that Snookers bar. You pay for things with money, and they only accept money.

If you're looking to make a profit from selling particular things things I'd guess our best chance is doing it somewhere else or attempting to mass-produce a product we can sell of QuestBuy is interested in retailing for us in exchange for a percentage of the profits (and I'd be a far steadier source of income than having to sell our adventure loot to some guy in Amazon), but I think I'd be much more straightforward and efficient to just manufacture whatever we might need (like armor for our troops) and get cash from somewhere else.

>>2836230
Don't ask about ruling, magic, seeds, or ruling over magical seeds. Ask about her. Press her more about how she is. But not with malice. Instead do it with clear concern. For her.

>>2836223
>Side-stepping Susan like that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKWcIaJtS6Q

Why are you ungrateful with those who help you, Anon? I thought Susan was your friend, not your servant.

>>2836230
>About the Seeds

>>2836235
>THIS

You're right. Lets stop for a moment. Luna is deflecting. Even if she's just a disembodied will tied to our soul and hiding in a paper-mache doll she is still real to us and she matters.

>"Mom, enough. I love you, but please. What aren't you telling me? I wont be angry. I love you. Let me see past the mask." And offer your hand like we did to marco.

>>2836240
This is a private moment between us and luna. Susan is family but this is... mom and son. She can see everything anyway being psionically linked.

>>2836230
>About Ruling
>About your Magic
>About the Seeds
Yes. All of that seem nice. In that order of preference and importance.

But first of all? What isn't she telling us?What secrets would she have to hide from us?

>>2836230
>>2836249
>>2836235
Supporting, she may be an elder being of ungodly power, but she needs help sometimes too

>>2836230
Supporting >>2836235

>>2836235
This.

And for luna's sake don't slap the seeds or do anything violent or stupid.

>>2836230
>>2836235
Supporting. But if we can be greedy, follow it up with
>our magic.

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>>2836235
>>2836235
>>2836249
https://youtu.be/0ewQiU3q5jM

A: "Mom. No. I need you to talk to m-"
>You grab her
>Unprompted
>Uninvited
>Her form violently pops

https://youtu.be/8N03q06ji74?t=3

>For a moment
>The room is empty
>You feel empty
>Your ears ring
>As little white and black glittery stars fall to the ground


L: "Why did you do that?"
A: "I-...I'm sorry."
>You swallow
>This being a person thing
>You've never liked it
>You've been a force of nature for long
>Raw emotion
>Raw hate
>Swagger
>It's kept you alive
>It works

>It's made you sloppy

A: "What happened, mom? You never liked anyone but now it's li-..."
>The silence is new
>Dark
>Yet not aggressive
>Or damning
>You've always questioned authority
>Always hated how they deflect
>Is this any different

A: "Mom. Please? I just...I'm just worried. I wanna know you."
L: "..."

>You are surrounded
>In boiling
>Pink
>Fog

cont

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>>2836355
>>2836355

L: "You know me, child."
A: "Not like everyone else! Not like Marco or even Bow or Susan. Let me see you."
L: "You see me now."
A: "I see what you SHOW me. I need more."
L: "Need more to what?"
A: "T-to help you!"
L: "That is -my- job."
A: "Well you are MY mom."

>The clouds stop rolling
A: "I-...I don't just wanna kill and smash, ok?"
>You sniff
A: "I want...I w-"
L: "You want what I want."
>Luna's back
>Apparated on the table
>She's as tall as her tea cup
>She lifts it with both arms
>Sips for three and a half minutes straight
>She puts down an empty cup

L: "What do you want to know, darling?"
>She looks
>Tired

A: "Why didn't you like Jackie?"
L: "Because she is an amusement at best and at worst a distraction keeping you from your goals."
A: "Is that what's bothering you?"
L: "No."
A: "Why does your magic hurt me?"
L: "My magic doesn't hurt you. I do when I use it."
A: "Is that what's bothering you?"
L: "Some. What."
>She nearly spits that
>The ground whispers

A: "What do you need the spells for?"
L: "You need them."
A: " -We- need them. Do you want to be alive again?"
L: "..."
>Luna doesn't look at you
A: "That's it...that's it isn't it?"
L: "..."

>The Moon sinks closer
A: "Mom, it's ok."
>You put out your arms
A: "That's what I want too."
>You go in for it
>Oh yes
>DIS IS DEH H-

L: "You can't."
A: "...you've never said that to me without a lesson."
L: "There is no lesson. No trick."
>Luna blinks
>It's slow
>Grinding

L: "I am dead, Anonymous. A soul with no vessel. Who has grown so..."
>She smiles
>It's cruel
>Disgusted and ridiculous
L: "So powerful...that she can never go back."

cont

>>2836362
>Telling the prince of defiance that he can't
Luna what have you done.

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>>2836362
>>2836362


A: "I won't accept that."
>That's not what she taught you
A: "Never."

L: "I love you for it..."
>She still won't look at you
>Her finger raises and curls her black hair into a twist

L: "...but the answer is no. I cannot. We cannot. There is no vessel that could withstand me. Not for long."

>She eyes you instead of mulling
>Takes in your broadened shoulders
>Your deeper voice
>Your mismatched, awful eyes
>She finds her smile again

L: "I live through you."
>Now she hugs you
L: "That's all I need. Especially now."
>She whispers to you
L: "We're all there is. No one else is real but you and I."

>She floats away
>Back to her seat by the tea pot

L: "Now ask me something useful."
>She waves to the seeds
L: "About cursed plants and brews. About spells and wicked enchantments."
>She shakes her head

L: "I don't want to burden you anything like this again."
>Her look is stern
L: "I won't."


>Now you know some truth
>Luna thinks you and her are the only real people in existence
>She can only live through you

>She wants you to ask her about plants


>The Mourning Seed
>The Flame Seed
>The Seeds that look like little arms flexing


>You can hear someone coming
>Someone with huge
>Metal Feet

OL: "You'll NEVER catch me little horse!"
En: "Aye weh beh seein' aboot tha' yeh greh SODDIN' LATRINE!"


What do?

>>2836386
Oh you aren't getting away that easy luna. We've been through worse. This is no burden, just another challenge knot on the escape rope. We will craft a vessel for you to live again, you saved me. Now its time to save you.


Explain this...

>L: "We're all there is. No one else is real but you and I."

And then lets put our heads together on how to contain your royal milfness.

>>2836386
"If we are gonna talk about seeds we need to talk about all the seeds!"
>try to be atleast a little cheerful in the face of some of that grimness

>>2836386
>L: "I don't want to burden you anything like this again."
>>Her look is stern
>L: "I won't."

Luna, helping you is not a burden. Helping someone who helped you is called being a good fucking person.

And I'm sorry, but have you met us? We are the prince-no, we are the KING OF DEFIANCE! Fate is dead because of us, and now you're just saying "Oh no you can't bring me back because there is no vessel that can contain me" fine, then we'll make one! We'll do something! For YOU! Repaying you for the kindness you showed us. Because we fucking love you and want to be able to surprise hug you without you popping like a balloon.

>>2836386
>>2836386
>cup her in your hands
>kiss her little person head
>"Sorry but no, you taught me to take what I want way too well. I want to help you, because I love you and you deserve it."
I feel cringy writing something this feely touchy so you better appreciate it

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>>2836386
>She wants you to ask her about plants
Fine, but this isn't the end of this conversation.

Lets learn what we can do with these babies.
And I don't mean exclusively the seeds, but those two screamers as well.

>>2836404
>I feel cringy writing something this feely touchy so you better appreciate it
There's nothing cringy about loving your mom and telling her she matters!

>>2836386
Supporting:
>>2836404
but, if she doesn't want to talk about it ask about the:
>The Mourning Seed

Have some of the undead redirect OL and En.

>>2836386
Talk about the plants. Also who is OL again? Is Olson? I am terrible with associating the full names with the letters.

>>2836417
yeah. It's robot boy.

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>>2836412
It does when it's about my fake god mom with a bunch of adult autistd collectively playing a messed up middle schooler in a setting based on children's cartoon a mongolian throat gurgling board!

>>2836476
k

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https://youtu.be/sfjzKYXzsjA


>WHomst
>Does this woman
>Think she is?

L: "I know what I am. An opinion matters as much to me as a mote of dust to a maelstrom."

>Poetic is what she is
>Collected is what she is
>Capable?
>Sure
>Cruel?
>Once in a good while, when it's needed
>Most important however
>More important than all her terrible deeds

>She's your Mammy

A: "Oh, Mama..."
>You pick her up
>In your hands
>She fits so easily
>Have your palms gotten bigger?

>You hold her to your cheek
>She nuzzles
>You're careful not to press
>Then
>With eyes still closed

A: "Fuck that noise. You're gonna live."

>You feel her laughter before it can be heard
>She's switched on like a light
>Literally
>She glows
>She floats

L: "What other answer could I expect?"
>Her face is radiantly smug
>She boops you
>Her smile
>Has been protected


L: "Do you promise not to forget your mother dear? Wether you want to defy my judgement or not...it will be a -long- time before you can do this. We'd need impossible resources. Sacrifices measuring in the millions."
A: "Not as long as fucking di-"

>WHAM!
>The kids are here

OL: "Hi, Scary lady!"
>Olson
>Wondervon's robot son

En: "An' a good dey tah yew, Anonymoush."
>Entropy
>The baby Alicorn you rescued from WAR PLANET

cont

>>2836486
......That's what your mom said last night, and it's why your dad is depressed

>>2836541
k

>>2836519
>Her smile
>Has been protected
Finally, someone's smile was protected.

>>2836546
we did pretty good at protecting Sabrina's earlier

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>>2836519
>>2836519

A: "My dick is huge."
>The kids shrink backwards from you

A: "Sorry. Just didn't want to set a precedent of me having a filter."

OL: "What are you doing?"


A: "Loving my tiny mother."
En: "Soundsh gey."
L: "Well I certainly -feel- gay."
A: "Mom."
L: "Aren't you feeling gay, Anonymous?"
A: "Mom n-"
L: "Oh I can tell. You're -brimming- with gayness."
A: "SEED."
L: "I knew it."
A: "SEEDS PLS. WE'RE GONNA LEARN ABOUT SEEDS."

>You point to the mourning face
A: "THIS ONE. PLEASE."

L: "That is a Weeping Weed."
OL: "What does it do?"

>Olson reaches for it
>Luna pushes his finger away with a pinky

L: "It's a plant that can only be watered by fresh tears."
A: "Edgy."
L: "It's fruit are lumps of pure elemental sodium."
A: "Wait. Isn't th-"
L: "Bombs."
A: "..."
L: "The plant grows violent water based explosives."
A: "Sick."

>Luna motions to the flame shaped one
L: "These are Fire Lilies."
En: "Ah've sheen thoshe! Inna dream! I ate them an' they gheve me the pooer tah swim through LAVA!"

>Olson stares at his Alicorn friend
>Blinks his white lenses for eyes
OL: "You're lying."
En: "AM NOH!"

>Commence the baby battle
>Which consists mostly of Entropy's tiny hooves going PANG against Olson's invincible steel head

A: "What about those?"
>You point to the little arms
L: "Masshrooms."
A: "What do they do?"
L: "They're an edible fungus."
A: "Uhuh."
L: "They make you huge."

>Oh
>Hot
>Dayum

cont

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>>2836564
>>2836564

En: "OY!"
>All eyes turn to baby Entropy
>Who is pinned underneath Olson's gigantic hand
En: "Ah'm HUNGREH!"
>Luna waves her fingers
>A bowl with hot porridge and tons of cinnamon appears next to Entropy
>He sniffs it

>WHAP!
>Then slaps it away
En: "AH WAN CEREAL!"
>He begins to wail
>Olson
>After some observation
>Begins to wail too

A: "Ah, shit. I haven't ea-"
>Your stomach growls
A: "Fuck. Nobody's eaten a- HEY!"

>You snap back to Luna

A: "Don't think this is over. We're not done talking. You need a body. I WILL make it happen."
L: "I could always possess Hekapoo with the right ritual."
A: "Wh-"
L: "Her body is so..."
>Luna smiles
L: "Dense."
>You swallow
L: "She could buy me a few good minutes on you."
A: "Wait w-"


What do about hungry babies?
About the hungry everyone?
What do with the seeds?


What matters do you discuss at whatever breakfast you organize?

>>2836569
Mom, we're going grocery shopping with the kids! Time for the both of us to play mom!

As for the seeds, plant all but the mourning ones. We don't have enough tears right now to properly water them. They'll just die out and be wasted. But until then, TO THE SUPER MARKET!

Now that I'm thinking like a mom, is Entropy potty trained? If not we may need to get some diapers too.

>>2836569
>Lets all go to the kitchen and anon cooks breakfast with real food.

>check in with wondervon

>Save the seeds for now, we need to fix up the garden for earth plants

>Talk to the kids about being polite but do it nicely.

>Ask luna about making changes to the external inviroment. Maybe adding a sun and some stars, maybe water and less hostile life.

>>2836569
We need to find some people who can farm ASAP to get the full benefits of these seeds

We send one of the skeltals to get the most nutritious food out there McDonalds

Then we should set up a body collecting ring in places where a lot of people die like the Middle East after a battle or Detroit

Then we find homeless people and other dispossessed, bring them to THE HOLE with the promise of wages and shid, wipe their old memories, implant new ones, and make our first official Citizens

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>>2836580
>We send one of the skeltals to get the most nutritious food out there McDonalds
WE HAVE FOOD AT HOME!

>>2836569
Make Entropy and Olsen stop a tantrum.
Go grocery shopping.

Set the seeds aside for now and ask Luna what the best methods to grow them would be.

During breakfast ask Wondervon where the volcano he found is located and what effects utilizing it will have on the earth.
Ask how everyone has been.

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>>2836569
We have money. We could spend it on food for groceries. Remember to Invite Susan to come with us. If she doesn't have a cellphone we could buy her one. it's not gonna make her any good having a girl's number if she can't call it.

We could also buy a refrigerator...
OR we could make one.
With magic we could freeze some chunks of the Lakes of Tears (where we can also get liquid tears to irrigate those Weeping Weeds), and designate the storage room near the kitchen as a regrigerated area.

We could also see what Wondervon might come up with to store large amount of supplies and prevent them fro spoiling.

>>2836603
Stop throwing a tantrum. Be polite.

>>2836569
>MCDONALDS MCDONALDS MCDONALDS MCDONALDS MCDONALDS MCDONALDS MCDONALDS MCDONALDS--

>>2836569
Remember to go to questbuy to exchange gold coins into human cash. Also, Grab a hair potion when there.

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Rolled 2 (1d10)

A: "Food...food."
L: "Real food?"
A: "Foody food even."
>You mumble out

A: "We could get McDonald's."
>Suddenly silence
>A pony and robot are staring at you
>Then
>It comes

O/E: "MC DON. ALDS. MC DON. ALDS."
A: "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH"
O/E: "MC DON. ALDS. MC DON. ALDS."
A: "STOP!"

>They stop
A: "We have food. At the house!"
>You cringe
>A little of your childhood dies inside you
OL: "No we don't..."
>Oh
>Right
>You don't

A: "It's time!"
>You put on your robe
>And wizard h-
>Oh wait
>No
>You don't have hats
>That's Luna's thing

>She snaps her fingers
>You now have a wizard hat

A: "FOR A FAMILY OUTING!"

>Things go well at the grocery store
W: "Ve don't need zat."
OL: "But I -want- it!"
W: "Zat has NOZING to do vis it! Zat horse boy is a bad influence!"

Su: "Can we get Spwinkles!?"
A: "Yes."
Su: "Cookies!?"
A: "Yes."
Su: "Fudge bombz. Wava Cakes. Chicken Strip casserole!?"
A: "Yes, yes, and no. Don't insult my culture like this."

En: "Ah found tha cereal."
A: "Ok, what kind did you want?"
En: "Ah ate...ALL the cereal."

>Fuck


>$400 of food
>Goddamnit
>All of these mouths

>Still
>It's a nice breakfast

>With everyone seated at a long table
>Eating
>Talking with their mouths full
>Wondy daps food off of Olson's mouth
>Also out of his hand
W: "Shtop eatingk zo much."
OL: "But it's fun!"
W: "You don't have a stomach. You're juzt burnigk zeh food in your boiler."
OL: "Haha! It tickles!"

cont

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>>2836644
>>2836644

L: "Lovely idea. What of the plants?"
A: "Plant it all."
L: "Who will tend it?"

>Who indeed


W: "Ve have zeh extra power I need. Now all ve need is zeh mining equipment."

>You need to either send minions
>With one of your generals to lead

or

>Go steal that big digger yourself


Su: "What'we gonna do about Bow?"
B: " https://youtu.be/w9AjL9lhBlI "

A: "Hmmm..."

B: " https://youtu.be/niJ83xGGfw8 "

>You bite another pancake
>As a Skeleton rubs hair tonic into your skull


Roll CON

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>2836644

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>2836652
SHEEEEEEEEIT

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>2836644
FUCK

File: 29D88B36-CD0D-4447-8E9E-E(...).gif (3.05 MB, 512x288)

3.05 MB GIF

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>2836652
I got this baby

Rolled 7 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

>>2836652
OH FUCK YEAH! Hair potion!

Also, be sure to scold Entropy for eating all that cereal without permission.

Also also send minions with Wondervan to get the digger. Make sure he approves.

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>2836652

>Go try and re-psionically link with bow

>We are low on minions, so lets go ourselves to steal a bunch of mining shit from chinese miners in africa

>Text hekapoo: "Hey, been a while. We need to chat about Toffee and Ludo. We should meet a Moon's castle.

Rolled 3 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

>>2836652

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>2836652
>Go steal that big digger yourself
That shit sounds fun. But we really oughta try and restore Bows memories.

>>2836668
>>2836678
I can support fixing our first baby boi.

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>2836652

>>2836652
>Go ourself with Wondervon, minions and scissors. He knows what he needs more then we do. Have him tell us the effect tapping into the volcano will have. All actions have consequences find out what they are before hand.

>Mentally link with bow and try to make him remember us. Make sure to grab some pesticide for Bows plants.

>Make a abomination specifically tailored for tending to our plants.

File: 2a291e44fa2a9c574b3e117d5(...).png (1.07 MB, 902x1314)

1.07 MB PNG

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>2836652
>En: "Ah found tha cereal."
>A: "Ok, what kind did you want?"
>En: "Ah ate...ALL the cereal."

u lucky ur cute

>L: "Who will tend it?"
>Who indeed
Uh... I don't think any of us has a proper Green Thumb...
Or... I think Luna does? Could she do it with assistance of some of the Skeletons?

>W: "Ve have zeh extra power I need. Now all ve need is zeh mining equipment."
Where exactly s this Volcano Wondervon found? We can't just start digging on government land. People will notice.
I suppose we should go. Wondervon might know better what exactly to get, so he should come with us perhaps.


Su: "What'we gonna do about Bow?"
He needs the FOOD too.

Also, we could try some human pesticides but I'm scared they'd do him more harm than good.

As for his mind. We could try doing the same thing we did with Marco with Bow. Try and get back his memories of us together.

File: file.png (1.11 MB, 1920x816)

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>>2836701
>>2836652
In fact. I do want to ask Wondervon several things:

>Where is the volcano you found.
>What was your whole deal with Mammon?
>Are there other kids of yours like him out there?
>Where is your world? What was it like?
>Why did your world's military did that whole "Species Purging" thing?
>What do you think we should prioritize once we get that digger?

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>2836652

>>2836713
>>Where is your world? What was it like?
We've been there. We looted a city who's population had been genocide for corpses.

>>2836713
But, over all I support those questions.

>>2836718
>>2836722
We looted a city from one of the species that got Final Solutioned.
I mean what was it like for his race. For him.

>>2836652

>Go ourself with Wondervon, minions and scissors. He knows what he needs more then we do. Have him tell us the effect tapping into the volcano will have. All actions have consequences find out what they are before hand.

>Mentally link with bow and try to make him remember us. Make sure to grab some pesticide for Bows plants.

>Make a abomination specifically tailored for tending to our plants.

These are good yeah.

Be sure to make some cunning disguises however.

Also

DECIDE WHO IS GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS WHILE WE ARE GONE RREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

>>2836732
>DECIDE WHO IS GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS WHILE WE ARE GONE RREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Susan? Who else?
You can't leave the skeletons to take care of the kids. Imagine how much Ice cream they'd let them eat.

>>2836743
>>2836732
Make a nanny abomination.

>>2836749
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zo-YVqV0v4Q

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>2836652
lets not get killed from that thing we ate like a long while ago

>>2836743
Maybe we should ask... Sabrina to help her? Which is to say hire Sabrina.

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Rolled 10 (1d10)

Seems I must reroll for our CON check.

I return from the burn of work, my friends.

You've been so domestic lately.
I love it.

Ask the mother flipping nature god we bound to our service what is wrong with him you donuts.

>>2836766
>Ask the mother flipping nature god we bound to our service
We literally did not do that.

>>2836793
We brought him back to life. Using him as an impromptu vet/gardener hopefully is not too far outside of his domain.

I also wanted to see if we could get him to breathe some life back into Lunas world... or ours.

>>2836801
Luna's world was repulsive to Martha, it would be anathema to HG. It is a universe completely and utterly devoid of life on every level. There is no sun, no moon, no stars, not a single living cell aside from anon's invaders that wriggle in the dirt. It is a foul and dead thing, a blasphemy against an uncaring god.

Also asking HG to watch our plants and raise our kids is kind of rude. We might ask Janna but even then man, we need to somehow actually go talk to her.

>>2836809
>no moon
You do realize that we literally draw all of our power from the moon which is the only other celestial body in the universe besides the planet itself, right?

>>2836809
Not handle the kids. Jesus. I want them to be happy not animals.

So you agree he could probably find out what is wrong with bow?

Also, that is true, but if anyone can fix it he can.

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>>2836660
>>2836660


>19 total

>>2836656
Haha
>Fuck
Indeed.

-2

>17

>Oh no
>Look at the top
>Of Anon's head
>Oh nonononO HEHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

A: "Stop."
>Everyone stops
A: "Oh god."
L: "Yes?"
A: "Why areyousoinconsistentwithhowyouusethatW- OH FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF"

>You fall off of your chair
>The hair tonic splatters across the floor
>The floor has great hair now
>You crawl
>Holding your guts in your human grip
>Muscles is flipping out
>Flipping off EVERYONE in the room as he feels your agony

Su: "Anon!"
>Susan rushes to your aid
>Elbows the shit out of Wondervon who was skulking up
W: "ACH!"
Su: "Fug off!"

A: "Susan."
>She rolls you over
A: "I love you, Suze."
Su: "Shpeak to meh, trash boi."
A: "I'm sorry hCK! For all the times I ask you to do things and don't think about y-OH FUCK."
Su: "Why awe you dewing thish!? What'sh wrong!?"
A: "I think i-"
>You churn on the inside
A: "Miust be something..."
>You wince
A: "That I ate."
Su: "The pancakesh!?"
A: "No."
W: "Zeh eggs? Fickt mich, meinem Rucken."
A: "N- NAhhooo..."

OL: "Is it my breath?"
>You belch
>It's long
>Deep
>Full of sour air
>It tastes funny

A: "The clown."

>You projectile vomit
>Into the air
>Directly straight up

>A mass of black flesh
>Constantly undulating
>It collapses from above you directly into your eyes
>Nose
>Ears

>No bath will ever be enough
>No tooth paste


>That clown's head was cursed, Anon
>So now you're vomiting spiders

cont

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>>2836842
>>2836842

A: "HURRRRRRHHHHHHHHHGHFHHOHWHY EJESUS HRRRRRHHFF"

L: "Fascinating."

A: "HHRHRHHHHFHFHEOG!"

W: "Zeh curse muzt have been held back by his magical resistances."

L: "I think not."

>A few are coming OUT of your nose now

L: "My boy's simply tougher than most."

>You weep silk as you continue to retch
>The spiders stop for a moment

A: "HUUUHHHHHHHHGGGG-"
>You hurl and hurl as your hair grows
>Past your shoulders
>Past your waist
>It pools in the floor and mixes with the spiders from your organs

>A voice echoes in your mind
>A laugh

Know the price of toying with Calypso, Child.

Su: "Anon."
A: "Yes, Susa-AHHFFFFFHHAHH"
Su: "What do we do?"

A: "Well, first."
>You choke
>Swallow
>Oh god...
>You just swallowe-
A: "FFFFFFFAAAAAAAAHHYFGHHHGHH"

>The tide of Spiders overflows the tiles
>They scitter and scamp
>Some wander into bow's cage
>He is eating them
>With Reckless
>Abandon

>You point to him
Su: "Okay!"

Literally Everyone Else but Luna: "NO!"

>2late
>Susan opens the cage


cont

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>>2836847
>>2836847

https://youtu.be/P6DyW1co8NE?list=PLgzgqcCbQtUJGPQ3fpUZ0hqvZ4fE9dSbe

>Everyone else Runs away
>As you crawl foward

B: "Shnngrf! HOm! OMNOm!"
>Bow is crunching cursed spiders in his jaws
>His eyes are pinpricks
>He is lost
>Only knowing hunger
>Only knowing fear and the pain of his dying grass
>He is alone
>Until you
>Make it to his feet
>You look up
>He looks down at you
>His face is blank
>Alien
>Animal
>Then
>You vomit

A: "HUURHHHHh!"
>He goes for your hurl stream with no hesitation
>He bites the spider flows
>Pins you with one hand
>As he gorges on their flesh
>As their green and purple fluids splash down his chin

A: "C'mere bUAUHGFHGH! boy...Come to daddy."
>He cronch
>He monch
>Slowly working his way up the stream
>Until he reaches your face

>He bites
>Smashes through the spiders until he's at your mouth
>The teeth catch your lips
>but you won't relent
>Giving up
>Will NEVER be your style
>Even now
>With a big green bush crunching parts of your face off

>You just hold him tighter
>As his tongue rolls out to catch the spiders
>You lean forward
>Letting it hit your face

A: "YOu gotta remember, boy. You just gotta-HUFGUH!"
B: "HEhhhhHHhhh-"
>His jaw is slack
>His eyes empty
>You stick your face in his mouth
>Vomit again to keep him from pulling away

>As you beam into his head
>All that you remember
>His egg
>Your first meeting
>When you held him up in your monster arm
>When you first looked into his huge, watermelon shaped eyes and knew he was your baby boy
>When you played fetch behind the school
>All the times he ate those other people's pets
>Fuck those people

>He licks the blood
>Crunches spiders
>Then slowly
>Ever so
>The licking becomes...
>Purposeful

A: "Heh...Heheh-"
B: "Brrboarf?"
>Lick
>Lick LECK

A: "Bow?"
B: "...SHHHHHHHHLLLLLRRRRUUUp!"
A: "AAAHHAHA! MY BABY! MY BOY oh christ I'm still cursed huhghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

>Bow still eats the spiders
>Yet his tail wags
>His body shakes
>He falls over
>Onto you
>His grass is in awful patches
>His ribs peek out of his skin...
>But
>He is yours once more

cont

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>>2836849
>>2836849

Su: "Anown's beaming shtuff into my bwain."
W: "Disgustink."

>Susan points at Wondy like a body snatcher
>Then grabs a skeleton

>He opens his mouth and speaks in a crackly version of her voice


A: "Where is the volcano?"
W: "A zeries of islands. I believe your people call it 'Hawaii' or zomething."
A: "What was Mammon's problem?"
W: "He zaw me as meaningless because I am motivated by my dreamz. By meaningk."
A: "You got other kids?"
W: "None living..."
A: "Damn. What were your people like?"
W: "Znobs."
A: "Why the genocide?"
W: "Zey believed all zeh other races ver placed into our vorld as a test. Ve had to overcome all ozer species in order to be zentient. Clearly all other zentient races needed to be destroyed so ve could be vorthy of ruling our vorld."
A: "That is...fucked up."
W: "Indeed."
A: "Also, stupid."
W: "Oka. Jah, many of us rezizte-"
A: "I hate it."
W: "VELL NOBODY AZKED YOUR OPINION DID ZEY!?"

A: "What do we do with the Digger?"
>Wondervon adjusts his glasses
>Spits into his soup bowl
>Then hikes up his belt
W: "Ve plunder zeh earth. Ve build a grand tunnel zeh likes of vich ve can rely on for near ENDLEZZ rezources! All ve need is zend me, zeh lanky brute."
Su: "Hey!"
W: "Quiet, you're being a tranzmittor."

A: "No."
>That was your voice
>As you are done being sick
>You think

A: "We robbin?"
>You stand
>As the skeletons around you begin to dance
>Grab up weapons
>You wipe the juices from your chin

A: "Then you and me handle it."
>Muscles clenches his fist
>Slams it into the stone floor
>Killing three dozen spiders

A: "Personally."

cont

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>>2836856
>>2836856

Su: "WOO! CWIMINAL ACTIVITY!"

A: "Not you."
Su: "Aw WHAT!?"
A: "We need somebody to watch the kids."
Su: "BUWWSHIT! I WANNA STEAW!"

OL"Bullshit!"
W: "..."
>Wondy turns to Susan
W :"I am goingk to deztroy your life for zis."

OL: "Ahaha! BULL! SHIT!"
En: "Bullshite, Laddeh! AHaHA!"

>You probably need a sitter.

SESSION PAUSE!

We continue TOMORROW!

6:00 pm US CENTRAL TIME!

I cannot wait to see all of you.
As we commit.


Crimes.


Stay blesst
Love, quest


Special thanks to the Patron Pals
Especially Ark, Acid and Comf

Discord and Patreon links for the new
https://discord.gg/x25nASh

https://www.patreon.com/user?u=5454620

Don't forget to read the SHEETS!
Or to get between them.


Pic related by the way.

It's Anon's new hair

>>2836849
>9▶>>2836856
>File: hqdefault.jpg (19 KB, 480x360)
We really need to do something for him. Like. now.

>>2836861

>>>2836861
>>>2836849
>>9▶>>2836856
>>File: hqdefault.jpg (19 KB, 480x360)

>>2836859
>Our hair is beautiful.


A: "Not you."
Su: "Aw WHAT!?"
A: "We need somebody to watch the kids."
Su: "BUWWSHIT! I WANNA STEAW!"

>She is right, we need a care taker not a warrior for this. Fortunately we know one going by the name... Sabrina.

>We need to help bow please. Soon? Now Ideally?

>>2836849
wow that was intimate puking spider and them crawling out of his nose covered in mucus in his sons mouth while kissing with tongue his hair blowing in the wind of his sons breath and nose air the crushing sound of bird eating spiders being puked up by a small boy then crushed in there mouths while green gooo and brown chunks of spider flowing out of there mouths mashing against each other with his sons paw behind the head and then the boy holding his son even tighter with his own arms then the boy sticking his head in puking like a bird parents then getting that tongue scraped all over the face cleaning awake all the green and brown chunks the tail wagging filled with happy memories then they fall over the boy on his back and his son on top of him kissing eating the spiders that flows from his orifices it was truly beautiful truly the wonders of nature and the soundtrack perfect

>>2836910
Welp. Time to kill myself then.

>>2836912
dont forget the cows liquid nutrition secretion in your dried mashed plant matter bowl for your last nutritional intake before your choice to do a self-induced termination of life over the exchange of nutrients between parent and offspring with the fresh though that milk is like sweat coming out of a wart with a hole on a mound of modified sweat glands and fat and that a platypus sweats milk have a happy rotation of the planet

>>2836925
just think how aliens thinking how gross we are
and try to talk human
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dupLtC4Ir7M

>>2836933
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frhfVu9jIrw

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>>2836859
>you probably need a sitter
>one As pure as the freshly fallen snow to teach da kids proper like

SO, game plan.
Wondervon & Susan (+Bone Boyz) to commandeer some mining equipment once we find it.
We COULD oversee that op, but we have other shit to do, and not enough hands to do it with.
I vote we send them off, watch the kids ourselves, maybe pick up a BIT of the gardening while we’re still at the house.
And remember to ask Janna very nicely to keep an eye on Jackie. Not for us, but for her. I feel Yellow is cruising for a bruising while Jackie is decompressing

>>2837201
>>2836859
I 100% agree with this.

I think Luna also is a skilled botanist (despite her completely barren world), s she could properly teach us perhaps.

>>2837201
Add in taking care of bow somehow and I am all in.

>>2836859
Buy pestiside and plant food and place them on bow.

Ask Wondervon how noticable the mining will be and what effect tapping into the geothermal energy will have on the earth.

Then make a Wisdom roll to see what we think will happen. Why have a wisdom score if it doesn't factors in?

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SESSION START!

>Who are you?
>Anonymous
>Prince of Memes
>King of the Swing
>Ali a bwa buwa

>Really you're just the leader of a gang of skeltons
>A half dozen of them to be exact
>Yesterday, after a nice meal and hearty chat with your mom
>You decided it was time to get some serious upgrades


>You already have the power to raise the dead
>With the help of your minions, you can make them permanent servants
>By blending MAGIC and SCIENCE

L: "It's obscene."
W: "You say zat so calmly."
L: "I've a penchant for the obscene."

>You just threw up a whole bunch of spiders because of a clown head you ate last week

>However
>This does not deter you from THE MISSION


To steal MINING EQUIPMENT


>Yesterday the votes were to handle this matter personally

W: "A wize decision. Zis could get messy. A leader vis only -one- specialty could prove eh..."
>Wondervon considers his wording
W: "Inadequate."

>You have a caveat' to this however

OL: "Bullshit!"
W: "ZTOP! CUZINGK, YOUNG MAN!"

En: "Ee cannae controol yah, lad. I shweare oan the ancients yer a free bean."

B: "Bork! mmffmm."

>You have babies
>Three
>Giant Magic babies

>A toddler Robot the size of a van
>A sickly Dinosaur the size of a Bull
>A winged Unicorn foal
>Who sounds like Sean Connery

W: "I'll throttle you for zis!"
En: "Onleh iffun' yeh can CAHTCH me yeh stumpy vole!"


>You have a gang of skeletons
>One is wearing a cop hat

>You have a warrior General in SUSAN
>You have a Science General in WONDERVON


Let's keep it simple.

ALLY SHEET

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SM7bFhEvC0FVht_ai_TA3diyTQkp6jpOXi1beVWQ_qI/edit#heading=h.noqk0yi97yv5


>Who do you call to babysit?
>Where do you want to steal the equipment from?

Let's rock.

File: Power grid.png (17 KB, 591x723)

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>>2838899
>>2838899

Also.

A CLARIFICATION POST


This is a simple layout of how the Castle gets water and power.

>You upgraded from stolen electricity
>Now your castle is powered by a volcano
>Wondervon says it is in Hawaii
>He has also told you earth maps are terrible tho

>>2838899
Susan is out of the table. Dont trust her alone with that many kids, and we need a adventure together. Maybe we could summon one of our old souls that are in the Wand? Maybe one or two were babysisters.

>>2838932
>>2838899
many of those souls are Puritans,they had to know how to take care of kids otherwise they died in what was the most hostile continent in their time from Natives, animals wanting a snack, or disease. Perfect babysitters if you don't mind how strict they are.

>>2838899
MMmm

>We have not gone on an adventure with susan for a while...
>It may be time. To delegate.
>Call Sabrina and ask her if she would be interested in a babysitting gig. Pay her
>Give her the skelebois.
>And Pizza money.

>We also need to stop putting off taking care of bow...
>Yeah, scissor snatch some food and pesticide and douse him real quick before we go.

>>2838899
>call janna and ask if she can help keep bow from dying.

>let's go steal from a Caterpillar rental company. Same MO as before. Knock out power, move shit through portal.

>>2838954
Bow needs more than pesticide, he needs fertilizer, weeding, deverminating, fertilizing and seeding with supportive critters.

He needs emergency gardening.

>>2838970
AND ASK OSKAR FOR A GROW LIGHT FOR BOW.

Oskar is on the herb so he gotta have a setup.>>2838899

>>2838899
Call Star and Marco to see if see is willing to baby sit a Alicorn and a giant robot man.

See about making a Nanny Abomination?

Honestly, check you headbook you haven't done that in a while.

Multiple places we could steal from, but ask Wondervon what he needs so we can get it. Could steal it from Africa especially the places china has been investing. Could steal the boring machine they have in New York. Could steal a Bagger 288, but Wondervon needs to tell us what he needs.

Ask Wondervon how noticable the mining will be and what effect tapping into the geothermal energy will have on the surrounding area. Hell check where he want to mine before digging.

>>2838899
Now that I think about it, instead of Janna ask Oskar to help bow because Oskar has got to grow his own pot and have sabrina baby sit and pay both 1000$

>>2838899
Buy pestiside and plant food and place them on bow.

>>2838899
Get one of the skeletons, dress 'em up as a nanny, designate them as "Nanny Mcfee" and have them watch over the kiddos.

>>2838899

My votes:
>>2838975
>>2838979
and:
Make a Wisdom roll to see what we think will be the best course of action.

>>2838979
>>2838987
Call Oskar and ask if he grows his own, he could use them better than anon.

Bow needs water, sunlight and food from soil. We need to make him a mini swamp to hang out it with grow lights, muddy water and then provide him food and pesticide to keep him clean

Why ask star and Marco?

>>2838899
>Who will babysit
Not Susan.
I say we make one, raise dead and find someone qualified.
If we can't, see if we can PAY Sabrina to do it.

>Where do you want to steal the equipment from?
Anywhere but US soil, any other specifics are superfluous.

>Side note
Get the miracle grow and pesticide for bow before we leave.

>>2838987
Come on. First wisdom roll of the season right here.

>>2838899
>Call Marco & Star

File: Sabrina_Blake_sunrising.png (66 KB, 240x397)

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A: "Let's see...dead people could watch my kids."
W: "You vill need all zeh boney hands you can get, zir. Alzo. Only two of zem are -your- kids."

A: "I could just -make- a caretaker couldn't I?"
L: "If only motherhood were so simple."
A: "You're right."
L: "Of course I'm right."

>You whip out your phone
>Notice a crack on the screen
>You hurl it out of the window
>A skeleton hands you a new one from the pile

A: "Thank."

PHONE CALL WITH SABRINA BACKINTOSH

https://youtu.be/Qmq-q-FSYl0?t=31

>Beep

S: "Hello?"
A: "Sabbayyyy~ hey."
S: "Who is this?"
A: "Anon."
>You hear fumbling
>A slap from the other side
>In the distance
>A small squeal
>With socked feet hitting the carpet

S: "Yes!?"
>She makes a small cough
>Like she spoke too fast and inhaled her own spit
S: "I mean- Ah. I- Wait. Lemme start ov-"
A: "Think you could watch some kids for me?"
S: "Kids?"
A: "Yeah. My kids."
S: "You have kids..."
>All hope drains from her voice
A: "Yeah I collect em. All adopted from space places and a kidnapping tho."
S: "Oh!"
>Humanity restored
S: "I- well uh. I had something to do for Brittney but..."
>You can feel her biting her lip
>Teetering
A: "If it's a problem I can just call Oskar or-"
S: "NO! I mean. YES! Yes I CANDOIT."
>You turn
>Smiling
A: "Awesome, dude."
>Dude
>Mmf
>Jackie imprinted that on you
>You shake it off
S: "You have wifi, right?"
A: "Yeah. Password is Trashboy1989."
>Shit
>You said that on the phone
>Damn FBI has your Wifi now

S: "Ok! I'll be right over t-...oh. Wait. You're at school, right?"
A: "Yahuh."
S: "Could you..."
>How can a blush be audible?
S: "Could you pick me up?"

>SHeeit

https://youtu.be/oyAD87_zfek

cont

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>>2839103
>>2839103

>A trip to Sabrina's
>Then the store
>Leaves you back at home for a brief moment
>Sabrina is dressed well
>In knee-socks
>Little red shoes
>A sweater
>She knows how chilly it can be here in the castle

S: "It's so...beautiful!"
L/W: "Thank you."

>Luna and Wondervon look at each other
>Wondy with a look of incredulousness
>Luna
>With next to 0 expression past 'You thought bitch'

A: "Ok so Entropy's just a baby you'll need to feed him sugar pops Olson is a SUPER baby and doesn't eat but he'll complain so cut cardboard into a little cake he likes those and can't taste Bow is the big one you met him, right? He's nice add on this pesticide and make sure you don't let him lick you too much or you'll get soggy and BELIEVE me he is gonna be hungry but it's ok I went grocery shopping the raw meat in the fridge is his don't go too far off of the castle or you'll fall to your death and if you survive the fall what lurks in the darkness will kill you."
>You pause
>Sip some Monster Energy beverage
>Dream of cutting your lawn

A: "Ya follow me?"
>Sabrina has written everything you said down and finished before you were done speaking
S: "Yes. When is bed time?"
A: "...11."

>All three kids groan
A: "Now it's TEN!"
>They cease
A: "Good."

>You turn to go
A: "Suze. You, the boyz and Wondy are all coming with me."
Su: "Oh boy!"
W: "Ach. Anozer outing."

Su: "We'we we goin, boss!?"
A: "The last place any rational person wants to be."

>Before anyone can make hilarious side comments
>You interject

A: "Central Africa."

ANOTHER TRANSITION
>This with spears

cont

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>>2839111
>>2839111

With these trips...

https://youtu.be/Tb0SF2WebsQ


>You emerge from your last portal onto an open desert
>If your aim was right
>This
>Is Kenya

>Ahead of you is a pit-mine
>With a large metal gate
>You and your gang are on a dirt road leading up to the guard posts
>You are in pitch blackness


>There are shrubs nearby
>About 100 feet between you and the closed gate
>Armed guards patrol the perimeter

What do?

>>2839135
Just make a new portal past the gate and into the mine.

>>2839135
Send out undead rat scouts to go around and search the area.
Get a map of the surroundings and hopefully the power source this place is running one.
I want this place dark before we go in.

>>2839135
>>2839135
Vermin scouting with whatever is dead in the area. Portal sneaky sneaky.

A bunch of Africans and Chinese, literally the two most superstitious and gullible people in the world.


>ask luna for a projection spell and amplification spell
>channel your inner deathgrips and shift into inversion form
> cast illusion enlarge person and scream pure anon as we trudge into the camp
>howl at them about violating the ancestors land and that vengeance has come for them all or whatever
>watch as the whistle-clicks and nongmin run for the hills
>steal everything before they come back
>cast a couple dark stars to make it look like a gas explosion drove everyone crazy

>>2839135
Supporting >>2839175

>>2839135
>>2839151
>Send Vermin Swarm to scout the perimeter
Figure out how many people, guards or not are in there and what is the current situation.

Lets see how much we can do without getting caught and we need to call in reinforcements.

>>2839175
INB4 actual ancestor spirits show up.

>>2839135
Send vermin to scout and keep casting sleep on people until we can get what we want.

>>2839221
I dont want anon to miss his chance to shout "oogga booga where the white wimmin at" at real Africans

>>2839175
>>howl at them about violating the ancestors land and that vengeance has come for them all or whatever
They are Kenyan.
We're in the middle of Africa.
I doubt they can understand English.

Also, they have guns, which they are sure to try and use on us.

I'd rather try and go low at first and analyze the situation before acting.
FOR ONCE.

>>2839247
Might be a good backup plan, the inversion form is to prevent gunfire and the illusion is huge compared to our real size so we would be hard to hit and immune anyway

File: jubilee-1.jpg (72 KB, 900x509)

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>Susan is already limbering up
>She rolls both of her ankles
>Cracks her neck
>Twists to stretch her back

>She picks up her sword and gets ready ch-

A: "No."
>Out here the only light is the moon
>Your company is made up of Skeletons
>A risen Mewman
>A moleman
>and You

>All of these horrors can see in the dark

A: "We do this hard and fast but we do it when the time is right."
W: "Tactical."
A: "We need to cut the floods."

>You point up at the overhead lights
A: "Leave them in a panic."

>You spot a nearby Dingo skeleton
A: "Too big."

>You open a portal back home
>Whistle
>Out of it comes a small tide of rotten little bodies
>Bugs
>Rats
>Worms

W: "Ah. Zeh vermin swarm."
A: "Let's go, team."

>You put your hand up
>A rat centaured onto a scorpion body high fives it


THE VERMIN SWARM HEADS FOR THE GATE

rolling their dex...

>19 on the dice


>There are three guards at the gate
>All armed with AK47s

>Just inside there is a huge path leading down into the mine proper
>There are many large excavators and dump trucks
>A few normal pickups as well
>Hundreds of people are inside
>Most of them nude or near nude
>They are digging by hand
>As armed men watch them
>One of them is a broad shouldered officer
>He has a Hyena on an industrial chain leash

???: "
Plus vite, vous les chiens. Vos familles ont besoin de l'argent que vous méritez à peine. Mes supérieurs n'ont aucune patience pour la paresse. "


A: "Hmmm..."
>To the east of the camp is the power supply

>A huge Gas-powered generator
>It is next to the quarters where some naked people are sleeping

>Two guards mind this spot
>Each armed with sub machine guns
>Along with two Machetes each

A: "Ya extra ain't it..."

>Susan taps your shoulder
Su: "Boss."
>You snap out of your vision
>leaving the swarm to return unabated

>Susan points out a pair of headlights approaching from the distance


>Some kind of Car is approaching

What do?

>>2839258
Hide? We are close to bushs and is pitch black. Just lay low and try to take a pic of who is coming.

>>2839258
>Catch a ride.
>Stop the car. Interrogate who ever is inside if they speak English. If not knock em out and drive the car back to the mine. It is now loot.

>>2839267
>and try to take a pic of who is coming.
...... Literally why?

>crucicrush the car
>pop the generator
>scissor portal infiltrate to a dark corner

>>2839272

>Then kill the power and go on and metal gear solid your way through the mine.

>>2839274
What if it is full of orphans? Or puppies? Or slaves? OR ORPHAN PUPPY SLAVES?!?!?

>>2839279
What if it's full of hitlers? Or Demons? Or Monsters? Or a demonic monster hitler!?

>>2839282
THEN THAT WOULD BE AWESOME.

>>2839279
It's just slaves being slaves.
I'm telling you we can spook them, just have to avoid being seen.

>>2839274
Adding raise some shitty undead to freak people out

>>2839258
Remain undetected.
Lets see who it is.

>There are many large excavators and dump trucks
>A few normal pickups as well
We could use the KEYS, but we don't know where they are. Send the Vermin Swarm to figure it out.

Wondervon, if we don't find the keys, can you figure out how to hijack the machinery?
Can you teach how to do so to the skeletons?
>>2839287
>>2839286
>>2839279
>>2839274
We need to figure out how to MOVE the machinery.

>>2839258
Combustion+Raise dead
I want an explosion rats
In every area of significants we've found.
The shit it all down at once.
(If we've tried this spell and it isn't what i think it is, do >>2839274)

>>2839291
We know who it is, some shitty guards investigating the bright light from the portal. We have to move or incap before the alarm goes off.

>>2839291
>We need to figure out how to MOVE the machinery.
We have what's known as an "arm" that has a "hand" on it which uses "fingers" which we can use to pick it up and move it. A real revolutionary evolution by most bipedal species.

>>2839304
We can't move the machinery if we're being a distraction for everyone else to move it.

There's several trucks and excavators.

Why conform with one when we can get several and just DRIVE them through a large enough portal that can fir them all in?

Much more quicker and leaves us less time exposed to becoming a living strainer full of bullets.

>>2839303
We can deal with them quickly I guess then the generator, but we have to make sure we can actually obtain what we came here for.

>>2839273
Not a actual picture, bad wording. There is no fucking way that this will go smothly, so probably the person in the car is important.

File: smyPQO7.gif (1.57 MB, 360x270)

1.57 MB GIF

The votes.

>Hide in the bushes
2 votes

>GTA rob them hoes
1 vote

>Crucicrush the Car and get this party started
2 votes

A tie.

Well I think it's about time for an old favorite.

SPECIAL EVENT!


>Anon spots the car coming
>It's going pretty fast
>He looks over his shoulder
>With enough of a crane he can make out the generator room

A: "Wait for it..."
>You shoo everyone off the road
>Muscles snaps out
>Readying his hand for the dexterity needed for such a
>Bold
>Maneuver


>Just before they reach you
>The headlights reveal your position

>BEEEP!
>BEEPBEEEP!

>The driver begins to scream in French
Dr: " BOUGE TOI! DÉPLACEZ-VOUS SHITHEAD! "


A: "And..."

https://youtu.be/y_tzuKi1F4s?t=45

>SHHHRRRIIIIP!


>ANON OPENS A PORTAL
>FROM HIS POSITION
>STRAIGHT INTO THE GENERATOR

>The truck comes CAREENING in!
>The Driver SLAMS on his brakes but the white sand and dirt just let him slide!

>WHAM!
>CRASH!

>A scream is heard
>The lights flicker
>Then


>Bweeewww...

>They are out
>The Mines are DARK

???: "
Qu'est-ce que c'était que FUCK !? Obtenez le générateur de sauvegarde activé! À présent! Je vais te massacrer pour ça! "


Su: "That was...reawwy cool."
>You blow on your scissors
>Spin them
>Holster them
>High five Muscles

A: "I know."

What do?

>>2839342
>???: "Qu'est-ce que c'était que FUCK !? Obtenez le générateur de sauvegarde activé! À présent! Je vais te massacrer pour ça! "

So am I the only one wondering why they're speaking french?

>>2839342
Time for the light show
Cast some darkstars into the air
And summon as many small vermin undead to flood into the camp.
Make then waste their ammo and demoarlize them while we slip in to the side

>>2839342
GO GO GO
Full assault.
We are in our element, we make a speed run to get the equipment and kill anyone in our way.
No mercy.
Unless they slaves then just tell them to fuck off or portal them elsewhere.

>>2839342
They are french? Also translations.

The faster you dogs. Your families need the money you deserve. My superiors have no patience for laziness. "

Dr: "MOVE YOU! MOVE SHITHEAD!"

What was FUCK! Get the backup generator enabled! Now! I'll slaughter you for that! "

It is time to start giving the gaurds the sleepy time hold of knocked out. Or just kill them.

File: file.png (431 KB, 980x552)

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>>2839342
Send the VERMIN SWARM to fnd the KEYS to the machinery if possible.

Wondervon, would you be able to highjack the machines and make them fucntion without keys, as well as drive them?

Could you teach Susan how to do that?

Susan, once you got that, command the skeletons to take control of the machinery like Wondervon taught you.


We'll make a distraction using BANSHREE (Mind Scream) FORM and KING'S CASTLE (Inversion) FORM.

https://edition.cnn.com/2014/12/19/africa/gallery/monsters-of-africa/index.html

>>2839353
Yeah I like this, freak people out.

>>2839353
Sure I'll support this.

>>2839359
This works as well.

Ill stop being indecisive. I vote for this plan.

I also vote for mercy.

>>2839368
Why not do both?
Summon the vermin then warp them with flesh crafting gone wrong.

>>2839371
Well, I'd much rather send the Vermin Swarm to find the keys.

Also being covered in insects and rats you can't shoot is scary enough.

>>2839368
Maybe we can try doing this with the least casualties possible?

>>2839371
Sorryz I meant a separate flood of undead using local corpses, we cna use the existing vermin swarm to do other things as well>>2839378

>>2839342
Vermin Swarm hunts for the back up generator and the keys.
CRUCI-CRUSH the men at the gate.
open portal to hyena man and have muscles CRUCI-CRUSH him and the hyena.

>>2839355
>>2839354
We still have no way to make the machines work.

>>2839394
Hotwire them.

>>2839397
Quite possible for Wondervon with his skills, but it'd be much quicker to just get the keys than have every single skeleton hotwire one of the trucks, if they even can.

>>2839349
Some african countries speak french, tougth from what i saw in wikipedia Kenya doenst.

>>2839401
Gotta make sure they dont have GPS systems too. Dont want our missing equip from Africa showing up in Hawaii

>>2839408
We can get Wondervon to go over that.
He did find and disabled the tracker and recorder in the helmet MC2 was wearing on his own.

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Rolled 3 (1d10)

https://youtu.be/wfTv0JS_3cc

>It is chaos in the camp
>Slaves are ducking as they are herded deeper into the mine

???: "
Je! Sisi ni chini ya mashambulizi !? "
>A guard blasts his AK over the crowd

G: " Entrez dans les tunnels! Coopérer avec l'ennemi et mourir. "

>Susan looks antsy
Su: "Now!?"
A: "No..."

>You eye Wondervon
A: "Could you start them?"
>Wondervon adjusts his goggles
W: "If I had a manual."
A: "Those are huge."
W: "I am a zpeedy reader."
A: "Got it."


>You send out your vermin swarm
>To see if you can find keys

>14 on the dice

>They struggle to make it through the pounding sandaled feet
>They scitter into darkened places to keep safe

>On the Western side of the camp however
>Is a huge trailer
>With air conditioning
>A place to rest
>There are guards inside playing the Original XBOX

>The game they are on is Fifa

cont

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>>2839496
>>2839496

???: " Qu'est-ce qui se passe? "

??? 2: " C'est une autre attaque. Ne pas faire une pause sans me le dire, vous la chatte. "


>Beside them is a board
>Full of hooks
>On those hooks are sets of keys
>Numbered for each vehicle


A: "Bingo."
Su: "NOW!?"

>Susan is foaming at the mouth
A: "I found the keys."


W: "Zen get zem! We can meet you at zeh vehicles once you've secured zem!"


>Susan is about to have a seizure

A: "Now."

SU: " https://youtu.be/-w9PukG97oQ "

SU: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH"

>Susan breaks out into a full sprint
>Her sword is on her back
>The skeletons can barely keep up with her

>A few guards see her charge
>Raise their weapons and fire

BUT WAIT!

>Susan has raised her DEX past 10
>She now has a feat based on that stat

That feat...

IS BLINDING SPEED

While in a dead sprint.

Enemies takes DISAD on all attacks against her

>The first guard gets 5 total
>The second gets 16

Su: "Pafetic."

>Susan sprints off the side
>Lets the bullets bounce between her knobby knees
>She is panting
>Her eyes wide

A: "Time to bring the thunder..."
>Wondervon starts digging to protect himself


>You
>Assume your BANSHREE FORM

ROLL.
WILL.

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>2839496
Will time bithc

Rolled 8 + 19 (1d20 + 19)

>>2839499
THICCEST STAT INCOMING!

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>2839496

Rolled 4 + 19 (1d20 + 19)

>>2839499

File: file.png (645 KB, 1280x720)

645 KB PNG

Rolled 18 + 19 (1d20 + 19)

>>2839499
Boo

Rolled 9 + 19 (1d20 + 19)

>>2839496
lets go

File: tumblr_oa5phhOiA81rz6w0do1_500.gif (449 KB, 500x281)

449 KB GIF

Rolled 3 (1d10)

A quick Re-roll for our dice.

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>2839499

File: Spoiler Image (6.51 MB, 600x338)

6.51 MB GIF

Rolled 5, 4 = 9 (2d10)

>>2839496
>>2839561

CONFOUND IT!

The vibrations aren't oscillating correctly.

Enjoy a peek into a poor Meme lord's dreams.

>>2839566
>Blue hair on Luna
That's a new one.... better than green at least.

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>2839499