(Side note, first quest, throw me a bone if you think I need it)

Oi. I’z tired from krumpin all day, so if deres any votes by mornin, I’ll tally dem den. Keep on krumpin, boyz.

>>2887844
>>2887821
>4] Itz one o dem big umie cities, but everyfing’z dun krumped.
>(Alright, to explain, you know ork “kultur”? This is a civ quest of a kind, and we’z gonna make an actual kultur.)
Unkrump everythin’ that's been krumped.

>>2887821
[2] Itz a forest.
Don’t suppose we could do a mushroom forest?

>>2887821
We gun gotz ta getz da forest, it full o gurbz n fingz
[2]

>>2887942
Forest

[4] Itz one o dem big umie cities, but everyfing'z dun krumped.

Ya kno why it'z krumped? WE DUN DID DA KRUMPIN OWSELVEZ. Wazn't a roight an propah WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH bot it waz good nuff.

Dey keppin' shoutin' 'OH NO PLEAZE. NO KILLZ US! MERZY!" an' we wuz all 'But ya fun ta BREAK.'

Course dey can't screem non when dey dun got no 'eads. Only ting we wuzn't 'appy about wuz da DAKKA. Dere wuzn't nuff o' it.

>>2887821
[4] Itz one o dem big umie cities, but everyfing’z dun krumped.

Alroight, so you’z in one ov dose “hive cities”, loik dat one on Armageddon. Howevur, you notice three fings: dat you’z alone, you’z covered in rags, and everyfingz been krumped long ago. Dis ain’t favorable at all.
[1] look for sumfin to use as a choppa, deres gotta be sumfin.

[2] Hide a bit to git a grasp on da situation.

[3] You’z don’t know wot ‘append, so find a git ta ask.

[4] Wroit in.

(Also, the system of rolls that I will be using is akin to the Ogre Civ rolling system, as it is from where I got the idea and balls to do this.
100: critical success in something you meant to do
90-80 : High success in something you meant to do
70-60: medium success in something you meant to do
50-30: everything goes as planned in something you meant to do. Nothing special
20-10: a fail in something you meant to do
9-2: a success in something you didn’t mean to do
1: a critical success in something you didn’t mean to do

I will ask for rolls when they are called, and it will have an indicator next to the choice. I will also ask for a roll for some write ins.)

>>2888540
[1] look for sumfin to use as a choppa, deres gotta be sumfin.

Alroight, it’s been nearly an hour, so I fink dat wuz enuff time.
Ya default to da orkiest fing you can fink of, an dats protectin yourself
(Roll d100 for quality)

Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>2888598

>>2888619
It’s nuffin much, but ya looted some rebar attatched do som rockcrete. Should be able to krump some lesser gits.

[1] Foind said gitz, ya gotta find out wot ‘appended (an get some teef)

[2] Stakeout da area, see if any gitz come to you.

[3] Ya practically zoggin naked, hit some armor on.

[4] Wroit in.

>>2888628
Well, zog. I kan’t speak today, forgiv me.

>>2888628
[1] Foind said gitz, ya gotta find out wot ‘appended (an get some teef)

(Well, it seems we need more anons in this quest. I just hope it’ll gain traction or that word spreads. I’ll count votes in a bit.)

>>2888628
>[1] Foind said gitz, ya gotta find out wot 'appened (and get some teef)

>>2888717
(Yee, more members)
An ork’z nuffin if he don’t krump some gitz, so ya try to do dat. But where do ya fink da gitz are?
[1] Dats a lotta bludd, maybe dere (hab block)
[2] Oi, deres a tunnel. If dere ain’t gitz, deres gotta be loot. (Underhive)
[3] Itz hot ova dere, but it might ‘ave loot or loota gitz. (Foundry)
[4] Wroit in.

>>2888743
[3] Itz hot ova dere, but it might ‘ave loot or loota gitz. (Foundry)

>>2888761
Ya don’t really know wot drove ya ta go into da heat, maybe ya just loik fire? Ya walk into a room fulla pots of bubbling metal. Around da room is da sounds of metal gettin hammered, but one sound is louder an’ gettin closer.
(Possible class: Burna Boy)
[1] Well why wait? Go foind ‘im before ‘e foinds you.

[2] Stealf it, hoide an get da drop on him

[3] Mebbe you kan use dis metal for somfin, but ya gotta do it quick (roll, specify what you want to do)

[4] Wroit in

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>2888967
>[3] Build DA FLAMIN' CHOPPA

>>2889025
(Alright, due to the sheer orkiness of that solution, I’ll allow a reroll because I didn’t ask directly)
[Class: Burna Boy] [+5 to all rolls pertaining directly to fire]
Yep. Ya definitely a zoggin pyromaniak. Fire burns gitz, an da choppa smashes gitz. So why not do bof o dem?
[Roll to create a burning choppa, bonus doesn’t apply to this roll, as this is your induction into burna-boyhood]

Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>2889156

>>2889163
Welp, ya dun did ‘orribly. In da process of dippin ya choppa in oil and settin it on fire, ya burned ya ‘ands. BAD. An ya dropped ya choppa, but it’z still on fire.
[GAINED: Hamma o’ Evalastin Flame]
[INJURY: Hand burns: -10 to any rolls to do with dexterous hand work until treated. Such as making things.]
Da footsteps are still zoggin gettin closa.

[1] ROLL AWAY ZOGGIT.

[2] Pick up da Hamma, an get ready for a scrap.

[3] Da footsteps sound orky, maybe you kan reason wif em?

[4] Wroit in.

>>2887821
>Ork Kultur Kwest
just to clarify, since i don't know anything about warhammer. are orks basically space germans?

>>2889233
(More like space Chavs in speak and violent mannerisms with Redneck engineering ability, here’s the link to the 1d4chan page: https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Ork)

>>2889219
use the choppa like a shovel, shovel some molten metal and throw it in their face "DO DA BURNY DANCE"

>>2889262
If dat git around da corna IZ an ork, he’z probably gonna krump ya rather den listen to ya. As ya grab da Hamma, ya decide dat you wanna make em do da burnt dance wif dat metal in da pots. Just as ya take position, ya see a bit of green around da corna...
[Roll d100 to splash]

>>2889410
(To be perfectly clear, the orks of this planet are in the Stone Age of development, and you just launched a bit further than them for taming the force of fire.)

Rolled 20 (1d100)

Next, we gonna inv-.. inven.... we'z gonna kraft da wheel.

NOW LET'Z SPLASH A BOY AN SHOW 'IM WHO'Z DA BIGGEZT AND DA BADDEZT.

>>2889423
(Wow, dice do not like us today)
Jest as ya splash da metal, ya realize da green iz only about knee high. An even den, ya still manage only to splash ‘iz feet. A boy wearin some kinda goggles rounds da corner, lookz down, den back at ya, and sez:
“GORK N’ MORK ZOGGIT, YA BROKE MY GROT!”
Ya also notice dat da Hamma iz covered in da molten metal, an itz still on zoggin fire.
[GAINED: Hamma uprgraded! Now more effective in combat and not as easy to break!]

[Write in and roll a d100 to handle the situation.]

Rolled 87 (1d100)

"BROKEZ it? I'Z IMPROVED IT! IT'Z NOW ON FIAH ALL DA TIME."

Waitaminute, dere'z anudda orkz, an' he ain't attackin' ya on sight? Oh, it'z a lil bruv. Ain't even a big git yet.

"OI. Where all da big Orkz den? What ya doin' 'ere in da fire? Youz a burna boy too?"

(( Can we call the hammer Sulfuras and not cause copyright..? ))

>>2889490
The new boy lookz down at da grot, which iz trying ta both put ‘imself out and free ‘imself from da floor.
“Well, ‘e does ‘ave metal feet now, dats an improvement. I guess I gotta tank ya for dat.”
Da new boy explains dat ‘ez a blacksmek, and dat da only otha green boy ‘e saw wuz da grot, who ‘e wuz tryin ta free as ‘e wuz talkin.

[1] Try ta convince ‘em to join ya in tryin ta find more boyz.

[2] Krump ‘em while ‘e izn’t paying attenshun!

[3] Show ‘em da Hamma ya try to indimidate ‘em. (Roll)

[4] Wroit in.

(Oh, and the krumpin is a roll as well.)

>>2889554
>convince 'em ta join
A WAAAGH's a WAAAGH, even if it ain't a biggun

>>2889621
WE MEK THIS WAAAGH ON ROCKZ ANd ROLLZ

>>2889621
Ya ask da blacksmek if ‘e wants ta waagh alongside ya.
“Seein’ as ya improved my grot ‘ere, I fink it’s only roight to come along wif ya.”
[NEW PARTY MEMBERS GET: Blacksmek, Blacksmek’s grot.]

[1] Now ya gots some boyz, ya can start lookin for more. (Choose new location from list)

[2] Well, ya made da Hamma, why not try to git da blacksmek ta blacksmith some fings while ya tend to ya hands. (Roll)

[3] mebbe ya should set up kamp ‘ere, so ya gots a place ya go back to. (Actual kultur building begins)

[4] Wroit in.

>>2889845
[2] MEK SOME METAL HANZ

Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>2889855
me iz a dump

Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>2889845
>>2889855
MEK SUM HANZ SOZ WE CAN HIT FINGS WIT DA BURNY CHOPPA BETTA

>>2889864
dis boy can count to ONE

>>2889864
(Mek makes metal hands: Crit success in another field. Gork n’ Mork help us all)
Ya tell da mek ya make ya metal ‘ands ta replace ya otha wunz. He den disappears behind one o da metal pots, followed by da metal foot grot...
[A few hours later]
Da blacksmek comes back, but wifout ‘iz grot.
“Oi, Burna git,” ‘e sayz, “I did a fing. Ya know how ya improved da grot wif da metal feets? ‘An ‘ow ya told me ya make ya metal hands? Well, it got me finkin...” At dat moment, a metal barrel wif claw armz ‘n legs walks out.
“Wot if I made ALL da grot metal? I present, ‘Da killa kan’!”
[UPGRADE: blacksmek’s grot was made into da killa kan! But it’s not like one of those better killa kans, because it’s only Iron Age technology]
[While you were waiting, your hands healed!]

[1] Zoggin ‘ell yah! Now let’s look for da otha boyz!

[2] We got time for da blacksmek ta try ta make one more fing, so let’s make ‘em (Roll, specify)

[3] Oi, itz gettin late. Moight as well make camp. (Kultur building begins)

[4] Wroit in.

(I’ll be back in a bit, mass.)

>>2889912
>[1] Zoggin ‘ell yah! Now let’s look for da otha boyz!
needs lots a boys fo kultur

>>2889912
>[1]
Bigga WAAAGH, betta WAAGH!

>>2889922
(Alright, threads gaining traction.)
A WAAAGHs no good wif two boyz, so ya figure you iz gonna foind some more.

[1] Down da tunnel! (Underhive)

[2] Inta da bludd room! (Hab block)

>>2890199
>[2]
Bludd meanz therez been sum krumpin
If therez krumpin, maybe therez boyz

>>2890199
[2] better find out what the heck a bludd room is

[2] Da smell o' bludd be intoxicatin'. It'z loike da smell... o'..... o'.... da smell o' bludd... Wait.... No dat'z not right.

OH FORGET IT. PRAIZE DA BLACKSMET FO MAKIN' DA KILLA KAN AN' DEN GO TO DA BLUDD.

DUN FORGET TA PAINT FLAMEZ ON DA KILLA KAN AND PAINT IT PURPLE SO'Z IT'Z BETTA. All da gitz kno dat.

>>2890337
i like how all the id's are greenish

>>2890284
(Hab block it is, and I called it the blood room because there was a distressing amount of viscera near the door.)
Every boy knows dat if deres bludd, deres a foight, and dat means boyz. As ya walk in, though, blacksmek gags, da kan steps back a bit, and you jest stare. Before ya is da most disgusting sight ya can see, one dat’ll make a seasoned painbou retch. A pile-o scalped bodies in da middle of da room, wif some sorta four armed idol fingy behind it.

[1] ZOGGIN LEG IT!

[2] Oi, mebbe we kan find da gitz who did this, let’s stake ‘em out.

[3] Examine da bodies, found out wot exactly these gitz were krumped by.

>>2890364
*Painboy

[4] Wroit in.

>>2890369
▶loot

>>[4] Do az dose lootas do

>>2890364
seconding/thirding
>>2890390
>>2890499

>>2890499
Well, krumped bodies mean loot, so da skwad scours da room. From da bodies you find a curved knife stuck in one of da bodies wif da four armed fing inscribed on it’z handle. Blacksmek foinds a buncha scrap dats prime for kraftin, but da kan...
‘E hears fings from behind a door. It sounds loik somefin eating, and eatin savagely.

[1] You ‘avent had a scrap in a while, so let’s git ya krumpin! Or diplomancin. Eitha way, we’z slammin dat door open.

[2] Open da door a little, see if it’z anyfing too strong.

[3] Nope. Zog dis, back to da foundry.

[4] Wroit in.

>>2890597
punch whatever it is with the firestick until it's tender and well done

>>2890633
A good scrap kan be had, and ya are gonna zoggin ‘ave it before anyone else. Ya kick down da door, an ya see one of dose four armed gitz like dat idol. He’z got some kinda blue armor on ‘im, and it’z flesh is purple. As ya swing da Hamma, it starts ya turn around.

(Roll to attack, plus fifteen [five fire, five metal, five for surprise attack.)

Rolled 7 + 15 (1d100 + 15)

>>2890762

>>2890774
(Alright: DICE TABLE REVISION!
100: Crit success
99-81: huge success
80-71: great success
70-61: moderate success
60-51: a little bit of success
50-21: ok
20-10: failure
9-2: unwarranted success
1: critical unwarranted success

>>2890774
Da Hamma hits an hits gud. Da four armed thing reels back a bit, and blacksmek and da kan are watching eagerly. The four armed fing is stunned a bit, but gatherin itzself.
(Roll +10)

Rolled 81 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>2890910
GO FER ITZ 'ED

>>2890925
Turn its ‘ead into pret’y red puddle!

Rolled 59 + 10 (1d100 + 10)

>>2890948
Fo’got ta roll it!

>>2890925
Datz implying dat afta da hit, deres gonna BE a ‘ead. Becuz dere ain’t anymore. Da four armed, drcapitated fing falls to da ground, sanz ‘ead. Da blacksmek and da kan applaud from da background.

[1] Alroight, back to da foundry. Itz been a ‘elluva day.

[2] Bring da body back wif ya, have blacksmek examine it.

[3] Loot da room, den leave.

[4] Wroit in.

>>2890961
ZOGGIT DA EMOBOYZ GOT IN.

(Also, can I get a drawfag for this? I feel this needs art. Also, is everyone having fun?)

>>2890961
[2] an’ [3], ya can’t very well take dat body without grabbin’ somethin’ else too.

>>2890961
[4]
Itz got 4 armz, put it in da metal and itll make ar new choppas 4 times stronga
>>2890969
(hell yeah dude, this is awesome)

I could try to draw for it if necessary ))

>>2890983
(I’m counting that as a vote for 3, because ya gotta take it back to do that.)

>>2890996
(yeah, pretty much just 3 with a little extra)

>>2890984
(I mean, if you want, it’s up to you.)

>>2891003
Alroight, so ya sweep da room an find some more of dose idols an knoifes, as well as some robes wif some shiny bits on em. Ya also take da body back wif ya for examining.

[1] Moight as well start scrappn dese gubbins, an look at dis pamphlet ya found as well.

[2] Give da body to da blacksmek ta examine.

[3] Find some place to rest ‘n go ta zoggin sleep.

[4] Wroit in.

>>2891036
[2] Give da Blacksmek dat body. Dere might be sumfin’ about it dat could ‘elp out wif any WAGGGGHs ya’s plannin’ in da future.

>>2891036
[2], den [1]

>>2891078
Ya give da body to da blacksmek ta foind out how da ‘ell it works and start examinin dat pamphlet.
Den you remember you kan’t read.
(Roll for learning how to read and deciphering the pamphlet!)

Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>2891210
I’m gonna read the shit outta that pamphlet!

Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>2891210
Gonna be wun o dose brainy boyz

File: tegaki.png (27 KB, 600x600)

27 KB PNG

Rolled 69 (1d100)

Readin da pamphlets.

>>2891259
(Slaanesh has blessed us with good rolls)
You read da zoggin SHIT outta dat pamphlet. And learned yourself some readin and writin in addishun. This, combined wif da blacksmek’s findins, helps ya learn dat deres more of dese fings, dat deyz called Genestealas, dat deyz bugz, deyz form cults in da humies, and dat dere are space bugz on da way, maybe.
[KNOWLEDGE GAINED: Genstealer cults, Tyranids. +5 to rolls pertaining to knowledge of said things]
Ya turn in for da night, uncomfortably, unda an empty metal pot.
When ya wake up...

[1] Nuffin smells betta den hot metuhl in da mornin. Get ya kraftin!

[2] Dat zoggin sleep wuz uncomfortable, letz make da camp betta (kultur portion begins)

[3] Letz go down dat zoggin tunnel already!

[4] Wroit in.

(Gotta sleep, keep the thread alive until then.)

>>2891314
[1]
Fro in dat bug, bugz is strong, soz dey make da metul strong

>>2891314
>[2]
make a kamp an sum of dem boys gonna show up. more boys means more hans fo punching

>>2892315
(Rollin to tiebreak)

>>2892342
(I say as I fail to roll anything. Alright, I need a vote or a tiebreaker roll.)

>>2892345
I'z gonna vote fer >>2892315 , boss!

>>2892354
Seein as last noit wuz zoggin uncomfortable, might as well use da scrap ta make some kinda shelter.
(Choose to build two with the scrap you have)

[1] A sleepin hut (Practical bonuses, as well as a means of containing population)

[2] Blacksmek’s shop (ability to develop better technologies if given the right materials, allows training of other blacksmeks)

[3] Foightin’ an’ trainin’ room (Get better at killing things and, if given more boyz, train melee centric classes)

[4] Wroit in.

ZOGGIT: REPER-CUZZINS OF MUCKIN' ABOUT
Gitkrumpa waited. The loity gubbins above 'im blinked 'n sparked outta da air. Dere wuz humies in da rok. He didn’t see dem, but 'ad expected dem for...for...lotz of time. 'is warnins to Warboss Gobsmasha were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Gitkrumpa was a dead 'ard git fer a buncha time. When 'e were a weedy yoof 'e watched da kill kroozers and 'e said t' da boss “'ERE WE GO 'ERE WE GO 'ERE WE GO!”
Boss said “SHUT IT! YOU WILL BE KILL BY HUMIES!”
Dere wuz a time when 'e believeded 'im. Den as 'e got oldered he stopped. But now in da zoggin big rok of da big boss Gobsmasha 'e knew dere wuz humies.
"Dis is Gobsmasha” da talky-squig crackered. “Quit muckin about and krump da humies!”
So Gitkrumpa gotted 'is flash and blew up da wall.
“HE GOING TO KILL US” said the weedy humies
“GLORY FOR THE FIRST MAN TO DIE! CHARGE!” said 'da Kommizzar 'n 'e fired the rokkit bullets. Gitkrumpa dakkaed at 'im and tried to krumped 'im good. But den da ceiling fell and dey wuz trapped 'n not able t'krump.
“No! I must krump the humies” he shouted
The talky-squig said “STUFF IT, YA GIT! YOU IZ DA HUMIES!”
And den Gitkrumpa wuz in a penal legion

>>2892364
(Dude, if you are gonna shitpost, at least provide a vote.)

>>2892356
[1] A sleepin hut (Practical bonuses, as well as a means of containing population)

[2] Blacksmek’s shop (ability to develop better technologies if given the right materials, allows training of other blacksmeks)
Rush the dakka tree.

>>2892376
Oi secon dat
(is it just me, or did captcha go batshit insane yet again)

>>2892400
Alroight, first, ya set out ta build a hut for you an’ da blacksmek. Ya find a nice corner o da foundry ta build it in, roight next ta one o da metal pots. On dat note, ya build da blacksmek a place ta work. All in all, it’z some zoggin gud work.
[GAINED: Hut (population counter engaged, and now you can have more than two boyz!) Blacksmek shop (Better things can be invented, and boyz can be trained in the art of blacksmeking!)

[1] Now we gots a shop, let’s make a fing! (Roll and specify)

[2] Maybe you kan do somefing wif dat Genestealer, an dat chitin looks loik prime material...

[3] Maybe we kan explore an loot dat otha room more, or we kan go down dat zoggin tunnel.

[4] Wroit in.

>>2892423
down dat tunnel

>>2892423
Let's make some armor from dat roight genesteala git, [2]
Then we go down da hole

>>2892441
Dis git knows wuz gud! +1

>>2892453
Well, seein as ya clad in rags, ya decide dat da chitin ‘ll do much betta on you den on da steala. But wot to make?
(Choose one big and one little item)
[1] Uppa armor (better resistance to chest and arm blows)
[2] Lowa armor (better resistence to leg and abdomen blows)

[1a] Gloves (better resistance to hand blows, stronger punches, can handle dangerous materials)
[2a] Boots (better resistance to foot blows, stronger kicks, can tread in more dangerous areas)

>>2892467
i say two an two. i still wan dem metal fists

>>2892469
Supportin’

>>2892469
Letz get craftzin! +1

>>2892489
Da blacksmek still hasn’t made ya da metal fists, so ya are holdin our for dat. Instead, ya make ya self a noice pair o pants an a nice set o boots. Ya dump da rest and admire ya new flashy bitz.
[EQUIPMENT: Genestealer chitin pants and boots: protection up! You can now walk about waist deep in harmful materials!]

[1] Git da blacksmek ta make you dose ZOGGIN METAL HANDS ALREADY!

[2] Maybe you kan do somefin wif da metal ya self. (specify and roll)

[3] Explore around more. (specify where, can backtrack to the cult room)

[4] Wroit in.

>>2892512
stop mekin tings all ze time an lets look for somefing to stomp an bash and roast. down ze tunnel

>>2892512
>[1] Git da blacksmek ta make you dose ZOGGIN METAL HANDS ALREADY!

Then we cun bash some zoggin heads in

>>2892512
[1]
Git doze hands soz we can krump betta

>>2892690
Seein as ya didn’t git dose ZOGGIN ‘ANDS from blacksmek, ya decide ta git em to make em again, but ACTUALLY THIS TOIME.
(Roll for quality!)

Rolled 88 (1d100)

CHECK MY REPEETIN NUMBAS

Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>2892704
>blacksmek
Time to smeck sum metal an' stuff.

Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>2892704

>>2892722
(By the doubles, it shall be so.)
Da mek peeks around da corna of ‘iz shop and sez.
“Ey, boss. Git in ‘ere, I got da hands ready for ya.”
As ya step inta da shop, ya see da most bootyful fing ya eva did see. ‘E went above an’ beyond. Entire zoggin metal arms, wif some kinda barrels under and over da hands. Deres also claws on da fingas and on da backs of da hands, in between da barrels. Blacksmek sez dat da barrels are flame spittin gubbins attatched to a backpack fulla oil, so ya kan burn gitz even betta dan wif jest da Hamma!
[Time jump when you were getting the arms replaced.]
“Ey, boss. Ya know how I said da barrels spit flames out?”
Ya wake up, starin down at ya knew arms.
“I made em betta. Now dey shoot out hot metal at any gitz downrange, wifout da need for a bigga backpack!”
Zog me, datz zoggin bootyful.
[UPGRADE: Hot metal launcha klaws! We now can produce a semblance of cannons and firearms, but they aren’t as killy as they can be]

[1] OI! I GOTZ AN IDEA! PUT IT ON DA KAN!

[2] Letz make somefin different! (Specify and roll)

[3] Alroight, enuff muckin about, letz look around. (Specify where to explore.)

[4] Wroit in.

>>2892763
(Alright, i’m using this 100 for whatever roll is made next, since I couldn’t implement it.)

>>2892795
>[3] Alroight, enuff muckin about, letz look around. (Specify where to explore.)
>To dat zoggin tunnel

Time ta Ork smash

>>2892795
We got dez new 'ands, gotta test 'em out
Letz see if that tunnel's got sumfin to krump!

>>2892804
good fing we got that huge blowtorch

>>2892820
(To clarify, we have Dakka now.)
Dat tunnel ain’t been explored yet, an dat needs ya be rectif... roctif... fixed roit quick. When ya go down da tunnel, though, ya see dat deres a buncha chemicals. All on da ground. An deres a boy tendin to some shrooms on an island. Wif some creatures swimmin in da chemicals comin roit for em.

[1] Shout at da boy ta wotch out!

[2] Shoot da creatures in da chemikuls! (Roll)

[3] Wade in an krump em yaself! (Roll for stealfing so they don’t sense ya.)

[4] Wroit in.

>>2892858
>[3] Wade in an krump em yaself! (Roll for stealfing so they don’t sense ya.)
Time fer a Stealtheh Waaah!

>>2892858
[3]
We'z da noight!

>>2892876
Ya decide ta sneak up on da fings, so you kan krump em easier.
(Roll for sneakiness!)

Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>2892923
We'z a sneakeh git

>>2892923
>>2892924
(no need to follow up on perfection)

>>2892924
(Alright, we still have the hundred in store that I forgot to use, but it looks like I didn’t need to.)
First, ya step inta de chem-pond. Next, ya find yaself in a place full of swirly colors ‘n lights, on a planet fulla purple-ish dust, makin da planet dat much sneakier. Ya start lookin around when ya ‘ear somefin behind ya. As ya turn around, you see wun o dose space ‘umie gitz. ‘Owevea, ‘e don’t got a helmet on, ‘ez even taller den da dress dey use, ‘iz armors’ purple, once again, zoggin sneaky, and he’z zoggin bootyful for some reason. Oh, and ‘ez got bone white hair.
“Hmmm? Never expected a green skin of all things to come here. Oh well, do explain why and how, exactly, you managed to prognosticate this planet’s position?” Da big marine’s words iz big, an deyz as bootyful as ‘e looks.

[Write in your explanation.]

>>2892944
(Speaking of perfection...)

>>2892962
gutfeeling. and by dat i mean, i ripped apart some gitz, fooled.. feeled...felt up dere guts ere we are

>>2892972
Dis', an' also becuz we'z gonna be deh 'ardest zog' deh galaxeh ever seen.

>>2892977
“I got ‘ere on a gut feelin. Specifikally, a feelin of anotha git’z guts.” As ya hold up da klaws, ya notice dat deres a mutie fish on each klaw. “Also, becuz I’z gonna be da strongest Ork in da galaxy.”
“Of course. I assumed no less from someone like you. I’m more suprised that you managed to get here before my sons did. I really do hope they come to visit, it gets quite lonely here.” Da biggun snaps ‘iz fingas. “Oh, I know!” He den taps ya on da head, an ya feel knowledge flow inta ya. “Now you know how to get back here any time you wish, and I can communicate with you any time I wish. Ta ta, ork.” Befo you kan ask ‘iz name, ya get thrown back inta da chem-pond, roight next to da farmin ork. Da boy just sez, “Wot.”

[1] Convince ‘em ta join da klan. (Roll d100 to calm him down.)

[2] Farmin? DATZ UNORKY! KRUMP EM! (Roll to hit)

[3] Ask wot he wuz doin ere.

[4] Wroit in.

Also,
[KNOWLEDGE GAINED: Emperor’s children, warp travel, Slaanesh. +5 to rolls pertaining to knowledge of this, and you can now travel to the pleasure planet whenever you wish, as well as talk with Fulgrim!]

>>2893073
[1] Convince 'em.

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>2893073
>[1] Convince ‘em ta join da klan. (Roll d100 to calm him down.)
Iz da boss now

(I lol'd at Fulgrim)

>>2893122
(Alright, POPPING THE STORED 100!)
Before ya kan git a word out, ‘e drops to ‘iz knees.
“PRAISE DA CHOSEN ‘O GORK AN’ MORK!”
When ya finally git ta askin’, he automatikally sez yes. Once ya git em back to da foundry, he gathers some spare dirt an sprinkles some spores. He then silently starts tendin to dem loik ‘e wuz befo’.
[KNOWLEDGE GAINED: Farming, orks can now learn farming!]
[MUSHGIT HAS JOINED THE PARTY!]

[1] Alroight, let’s do some makin ya celebrate! (Specify and roll)

[2] Before we turn in, let’z check in wif da kult room agin. (Roll 1d6)

[3] Ley’z turn in an try to ask dat white ‘air git more about wot da zog dat wuz.

[4] Wroit in.

(Also, yes, an ork dicking around with stealth found the pleasure planet before the emperors children did.)

Rolled 1 (1d6)

>>2893154
>[2] Before we turn in, let’z check in wif da kult room agin. (Roll 1d6)

>>2893154
[4] Give Mushgit some o' dat genestealer, see if he can do somethin' wit' it.

>>2893204
I don't mind switching to support this.

>>2893246
Seein’ az ya still ‘ave da rest o dat Genestealer left, ya give it ya Mushgit to do... whateva. Den, ya turn in.
(Roll d100)
(Also, is it OK if I call the thread after my next post and just turn it into a general ork thread? I’ll start up another one soon, I just think this has gone on for a bit too far.)

Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>2893292
(Go for it, your quest so you decide how to run this show.)

>>2893301
(Alright, I’m calling it after this, then I’ll leave it to you guys. Probably gonna start up another thread tomorrow morning though.)
Ya wake up, an ya hear screeching comin from Mushgit’z farm. When ya grab da Hamma and investi... onvusti.. look at wot ‘appened, ya see dat Mushgit iz trying to coordinate a buncha small, green Genestealers.
“Oi, boss, I grew some bugz uzin dat body, an dey apparently listen ta me loik a grot.”

[NEW CROP: Genestealers! Automatically tamed and trained, can be harvested for chitin.]

(Wow. That was fun. Someone archive this for me, please. I’ll start another thread tomorrow for ya’ll. I see this going places.)

>>2893331
>http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2887821/
Done an' done, boss. Lookin' forward to the next one.

>>2893331

Let me know if you still want me to help out as illustrator))

>>2893331
let me get dis straight. orks are magic mushrooms?