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SHOTGUN DAD IS HERE. HYPE!

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>>2902261
It made for a hilarious phonecall with a shrine maiden who ended up in bed with Sachio, one of your other brothers-in-law, but that's a bit beside the point.

Right. You summoned Ellie and Haru while they were losing a fight against Belphegor in some brimstone-scented corner of Hell. Haru stood guard over your sister in the middle of your living room while your received your old battle buddy, 'Superfly' Johnson - who was on the other end of Reynold's wire - and his team. At least they brought a side.

Unfortunately, they also brought a captive magical ferret. 'Supermax' and Freebles hit it off like oil and water. Except oil and water don't mix, and these two wanted to mix it up. So you persuaded Haru to take an unconscious Ellie to the guest bedroom (you still haven't managed to repair what they did in there last time), and had a pastiche of a pro-wrestling match between the two magic ferrets in the backyard.

Shoulda shouted "are you not entertained?" at the onlookers. They were quite entertained.

At some point, your eyes slipped off Dionysus, and he went on a drunken walkabout where he found Fred, your utterly normal neighbor, walking his family dog.

Fred and Dionysus showed back up at your side-yard gate, very chummy. Fred decided to drag his dog home, since it had to be choked back at the scent of your 'pet foxes' in heat.

As soon as the gate was shut, Dionysus proposed turning the party into an orgy, and hit everyone in the side-yard with a vision of what could happen. Or what they had thought of that would work for it. Or something.

Gods are weird.

The less said about what you saw, the better.

You fought it off after a few seconds. Liska took a few more, and whispered to you that she'd 'kill the bastard'. Kelly and Rick tanked it, although Rick (a demon, and the local chief of police) got stuck holding up Jean (Sue's mom, and one of Rick's subordinates), who basically collapsed. That may be why he's looking so threatening right now.

Judging by the look on Rick's face, he's down for a spot of deicide.

Dionysus saying he'd be happy to have the party everyone envisioned (or toast a newborn goddess) did not help matters.

Ok.

This is a bit of a sticky spot. Legends are legends, and Dionysus has been acting more like a drunk guest at a house party than a raging god, but you do know the story of what happened to that one Greek king who kicked him out.

It didn't end well.
[2/3]

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>>2902325
"I'd be happy to have you toast her," you tell the god, "but it's my house, my rules, and-"

Dionysus cuts you off with "-and no supermodels. Although some of the girls here - MmMmMmm~! Particularly your wife. You know," he continues, conversationally, looking at Liska, "usually, wives want to kill their husbands, and not me."

"Even with that level of your powers?" she snarls, still leaning on your shoulder, "must have been shitty wives of awful husbands."

"What DID you see?" he asks her, leaning back against your fence with a terrifying smile on his face. You feel Liska's claws digging into your shoulder, her arm across your back.

You... don't need three guesses for that one. There's only one thing that would have set her off like that.

"You might have had the right idea when you went for a walk," you tell the god, and tighten your grip on Liska's shoulder. Her arm's still snaked over yours, and you can feel her stiffening against you.

"I might have," Dionysus says, then laughs, "I told you this was why I picked you, hey?" he says, unlatching the gate and gesturing at you with his free hand, "I'm off to find a better party."

"Don't hit anyone on the road," Liska hisses at him, and he glances back.

"I like to improve mortals' lives," Dionysus says, halfway through your gate, and extends a hand toward Fred's house. You glance toward it, and see vines twining up its walls, near-bursting grapes sprouting off them.

"Marlene, was it?" he asks to nobody in particular, then gives a terrible grin, "she's got the vines she wanted on that house. AND!" he yells, sweeping his hand, then he winks at you, "I've taken care of another couple of problems. Or couple problems? Ah, fuck it," he says, turning away, "literally." you half-hear, drifting in the wind behind him.

A few seconds later, you hear the engine of a very powerful car, then it drifts into the distance.

>Well, that's Greek gods for ya
>Liska, what did you see?
>Let's check on the aftermath of that ferret fight
>We need a council of war
>Is Jean ok?
>WRITE IN

>WRITE IN
Couple problems? INVESTIGATE

>>2902364
>Well, that's Greek gods for ya

>"I've taken care of another couple of problems. Or couple problems? Ah, fuck it,"

Eh i like Dio.

>Let's check on the aftermath of that ferret fight

I guess Dio knocked out all the "invaders"

>>2902373
i think he means the rest of Superfly team that sneaked into our house while he was distracting us. Or maybe he was just talking about the people in our yard.

>>2902364
>>WRITE IN
>Good riddance
>Let's check on the aftermath of that ferret fight
make sure everyone got patched up properly and such.

>>2902364
>This was supposed to be a nice barbeque. Can we go back to having a normal barbeque?

>>2902381
Maybe we should check the kitchen and the new guys fainted inside our house.

>"I've taken care of another couple of problems. Or couple problems? Ah, fuck it," he says, turning away, "literally."
This is a reference to the "Get the action his wife's been denying him!" line Dionysus had about Fred in the last thread.
It seriously wasn't anything more than that. Dionysus hit it off with Fred, and he did a couple of things to (maybe) make Fred's life better.

>>2902413
Sure it wasn't Haiku...then we get inside the house and find a bunch of fainted people in our living room because the one holding the invisibility magic fainted.

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>>2902364
"Well," you say, as Liska relaxes her grip, and you step toward the gate, "that's Greek gods for ya."

"Capricious bastards," Rick says from behind you, as you latch the gate, and then look back at the small group in the side yard.

"Very literally, half the time," Liska tells him, then asks, "is Jean ok?"

"I don't know," Rick says, "what the Hell hit you guys? I didn't feel it, and Kelly was fine, so..."

"Don't ask," Liska says.

"Made you see visions?" Kelly asks, still standing tall in the entrance to the backyard proper, and Liska bares her teeth at him.

"Yeah," James tells the group, pulling himself away from the fence, "stuff you might have thought about - but..." he lamely trails off, looking at the ground. Yeah, he saw something he wasn't really comfortable with. Or was all too comfortable with, but doesn't want to admit.

"So just having the title 'Angel Of Death' gives me immunity to that?" Kelly muses, "this is a lot more useful than I thought it would be," he says, half to himself, as he lights a cigarette.

"Right," you say, "this was supposed to be a nice family barbeque, and strategy meeting. Mary ascending forced our hand."

"Reynold forced your hand," Kelly mutters, as Liska slips under Jean's other shoulder, and starts supporting her with Rick, "and you brought his squad down on us?"

"Know your enemies," you tell him, "if they really are enemies. We need to check on the aftermath of that ferret fight. And maybe get this back to a nice, normal barbeque."

"Nothing you touch," James hisses at you, grimacing, then he walks toward the backyard and states over his shoulder, "can ever be normal again."

You don't really have a comeback for that.

Before you've even managed to make it into the backyard proper, Sue spots her mother, and runs over to hug her.

"What happened?" Sue asks, grabbing at the woman supported by a demon and a kitsune, then looking at you for a second before directing her glance back to her mother.

>Let them answer it - you're going to see what's going on with the ferret fight aftermath
>Sue, help them get her on a couch. Bad encounter with a god
>Did anyone else collapse?
>WRITE IN

>>2902490
>Greek God decided to have a laugh at our expense.

>>2902490
>Sue saw us and her mother and Sue can only watch in horror as our mother have our way with her.

>>2902490
>>Did anyone else collapse?

>>2902490
>Let them answer it - you're going to see what's going on with the ferret fight aftermath

>>2902490
>Liska and I just fucked your mom into a coma
>you want round two?

>>2902490
>Sue, help them get her on a couch. Bad encounter with a god
>Did anyone else collapse?
>James, Kelly, you guys might want the check the rest of Superfly squad that is fainted outside the house. Oh and the kitchen if anyone else fainted near a open flame that could be dangerous.

>>2902490
>>Let them answer it - you're going to see what's going on with the ferret fight aftermath

>>2902490 #
>>Let them answer it - you're going to see what's going on with the ferret fight aftermath

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>>2902490
"A Greek god had a laugh at our expense," you say, looking at the blue-haired girl hugging her mother.

"WHICH?" Sue yells at you, and you can't tell whether that's her voice or the sword's.

"LORD," you hear from the sword at Sue's waist, pounding in through your temples, "DID YOU JUST FLIP OFF A GOD?"

Alright, that was probably just Sue earlier?

"Dionysus," you say, "and he left of his own accord. He, uh..."

"Slammed us with erotic visions," Liska tells Sue mercilessly, with a grin that shows a few too many sharp teeth, "knocked Jean out. So it was just in the side yard," she says, looking at you and Rick, then staring back at Sue with a grin, "you would have been the first to go down if it hit the backyard."

"DON'T DO IT!" you hear the sword's voice in your head, and it's got to be even louder in Sue's, "YOU KNOW SHE'S RIGHT! AAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAA!" the sword screams.

Sue grabs her head, stepping back from her mother, and you can't imagine what that scream is like in there.

Ok, the Thousand Year Blade made a good save there. Nobody else heard that.

"YOU CAN'T BE A CONCUBINE IF YOU KILL HIS WIFE!" you hear reverberating through your cranium. ...Maybe that wasn't a good save.

You see Sue grin.

"Uhhh...." Jean slurs from between Liska and Rick.

"NO," the sword continues, and you hear it as a bare echo, like he's talking to someone other than you, "MARRIAGE ISN'T LIKE THAT! YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM BY KILLING HER! I SWEAR TO EVERYTHING SACRED YOU CANNOT DRAW ME HERE! SHE'S HELPING YOUR MOTHER! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW-"

"Fuck off," you barely hear Sue mutter.

Then Sue draws the Thousand Year Blade and throws it behind her, across the yard in one smooth, deadly motion. The sword impales itself in your back fence, quivering a bit.

It was just luck that nobody happened to be in its path. Fortunately, nobody in the backyard seems to be down.

"That's a bit better," Sue whispers, then looks up at Jean, "hey, mom, you ok?" she asks, stepping forward and putting her hand against Jean's cheek.

"No," Jean whispers, her eyes still shut, "no. I'm not ok."

"Let's get you to a couch," Rick tells her, in a soft voice, then looks at Sue and Liska, "if you two aren't going to kill each other."

>Liska, why don't you come with me? Sue, help your mother
>Sue, why don't you come with me? Liska, I'm not going to do anything
>This is not your scene, bail out and talk to Superfly
>Retrieve the Thousand Year Blade and ask what the fuck it's been doing (not mutually exclusive with other options)
>WRITE IN

>>2902701
>>This is not your scene, bail out and talk to Superfly
>>Retrieve the Thousand Year Blade and ask what the fuck it's been doing (not mutually exclusive with other options)
Sue's fun in short doses, but once her blood gets up it's time to bail. And we need to check on everyone else.

>>2902701
>Retrieve the Thousand Year Blade and ask what the fuck it's been doing (not mutually exclusive with other options)
>Write in:"Missed you buddy."
>Sue, why don't you come with me? Liska, I'm not going to do anything

After Sue and her mother talk last time they might want a time out from each other.

>>2902718
Don't leave the easily taunt teen near our wife that is in heat.

>>2902724
If we do go with Sue, drop the
>I'm not going to do anything
We've trusted her, let her trust us. Plus it sounds sketchy.

>>2902701
>Retrieve the Thousand Year Blade and ask what’s been going on
I think Sue just had a ‘get the fuck out of my head!’ moment there.

‘Just because someone thinks about it doesn’t mean they’ll do it’ is almost a minor theme of the quest at this point. Certainly of this ‘arc’

>>2902701
>>2902746
Adding
>Liska, why don’t you come with me?
to that vote. Makes more sense to let Sue help her mom, if we have to pull someone away

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I think I'm going to bed now. Hopefully I'll be running when I get up tomorrow.

And hopefully, I didn't disappoint anyone with the finish to the Dionysus thing. The trend from last thread seemed to be for him to get out, and that made more sense as an 'under his own power/volition' thing than a 'GTFO!', as several folks pointed out last thread.
>>2902718
>>2902720
>>2902803
I think that's an even split between walking away, taking Liska, and taking Sue currently? (And everyone wants the sword back.)

Geez, you guys do not make this easy.

Luckily the Australians will doubtlessly break this tie overnight.

>>2902746
>I think Sue just had a ‘get the fuck out of my head!’ moment
That's what I think happened as well. The MC only heard one side of that conversation, and the Sengoku Spook tends to put his own interpretations on things.

>>2902829
As an australian, I shall do my part

>>2902701
>Retrieve the Thousand Year Blade and ask what the fuck it's been doing (not mutually exclusive with other options)
>Sue, why don't you come with me? Liska, I'm not going to do anything

>>2902701
>Retrieve the Thousand Year Blade and ask what the fuck it's been doing (not mutually exclusive with other options)
>Sue, why don't you come with me? Liska, I'm not going to do anything

>>2902701 #
>Retrieve the Thousand Year Blade and ask what the fuck it's been doing (not mutually exclusive with other options)
>Sue, why don't you come with me? Liska, I'm not going to do anything

>>2902701 #
Love the quest mate but how bout you fuck off, calling us good natured upside down cunts out like that. It’s not our fault you bloody yanks are on he wrong side of the world.

>Retrieve the Thousand Year Blade and ask what the fuck it's been doing (not mutually exclusive with other options)
>Sue, why don't you come with me? Liska, I'm not going to do anything

>>2902829
>>Retrieve the Thousand Year Blade and ask what the fuck it's been doing (not mutually exclusive with other options)
She probably has a light "buzz" from Dio that gave her some urges but she wasn't actually going through with it. Might be an early onset sign of madness because Dio is much weaker outside of Greece. We should get that checked out at the same time that we have "the talk" with her about us clearly having differing views on the whole thing.

>>2903381
This is why you proofread. my laptop voted on it's own. I hadn't even picked anything.
I guess it's a Sue fan?
>Ask Supafly if he has any experts on treating a madness god migrane or send somebody to ask that. We don't want any lingering side effects.

>>2902701
>>This is not your scene, bail out and talk to Superfly
>>Retrieve the Thousand Year Blade and ask what the fuck it's been doing (not mutually exclusive with other options)

I still have the idea that sue still wants to fuck us, but now she's waiting until she is legal.

>>2903640
That's a success in my book.

>>2902701
>Liska, why don't you come with me? Sue, help your mother
>Retrieve the Thousand Year Blade and ask what the fuck it's been doing (not mutually exclusive with other options)
Secure wife for safety reasons, then interrogate sword (but don't let the fox milf know).

>>2902701
>>Liska, why don't you come with me? Sue, help your mother
>secure thousand year blade

I feel like we're pushing Sue and her mom into incest but i don't think I care.

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>>2902701
"Sue," you say, "let's take a walk."

Liska glares at you, and you mouth 'not gonna do anything' at her. This whole heat thing has been a weird contradiction between 'anything that moves' and extreme possessiveness.

Well, that's sort of an amplified version of how she's been after she stopped hiding what she really was from you.

"We're gonna take care of her," Rick tells the blue-haired girl, stretching out his free hand a couple of inches toward her head, then pulling it back.

The demon's flaming eyes meet yours, and you get the feeling that you'd have a very large set of problems if you took Sue up on her offers. A set of problems with horns and a weird hand.

Sue looks at you, the fringe of her bangs hiding her eyes, her fingertips still brushing Jean's face, and says "let's not," then looks back up at her mother and asks "you need some water?"

"That sounds good," Jean mutters, her eyes still tightly shut. Seems like she got hit hardest by whatever Dionysus pulled.

"I'm going to help," Sue tells Rick, staring at the demon, and you glance back at Liska. That's a rather complicated expression on her face.

You'd kind of expected Sue to just go along with you, and you're a bit nervous about leaving her to go with Liska, but you've never been happier to be turned down by a girl - and Rick's decent ballast, right?

"Can you three handle it?" you ask.

"Obviously," Liska hisses as she helps Rick and Sue support Jean along toward the back door.

You sigh.

But, as you think about it, pacing across your lawn toward the sword embedded in your back fence, while you're not entirely sure why Liska seems mad at you, you can respect Sue for going to take care of her mother.

Hell. You booked a goddamn flight to Florida when you heard yours had collapsed.

Then you grab the sword's hilt and start pulling it out of the fence, while watching the odd foursome helping Jean in the back door.

"GOOD EVENING, LORD," you hear in your head, in the sword's unmistakable tones.

"Missed you, buddy," you think back at it.

>So what was that conversation earlier?
>Sometimes, engaging with someone's passing thoughts makes them stick worse
>So I hear you've become a snuggly stuffed-animal stand-in?
>How has your sojourn been?
>WRITE IN

>>2904417
It didn't occur to me until now, but given the random nature of Dio's madness leakage Sue being the first face she sees after waking up in a bed might not be comforting to her.

>>2904507
>>Sometimes, engaging with someone's passing thoughts makes them stick worse
>>So I hear you've become a snuggly stuffed-animal stand-in?
huh. Glad to see she's not completely off the rails.

>>2904507
>Discretion is advised next time. Please read the damn mood before you do any telepathic shouting or talking. telepathic shouting only helps to a certain point before it ruins everything when more than one person can hear you scream. Same goes with Sengoku metaphors. Which is why Sue threw you at the fence.
>Have you been acting as a stand-in "dad" for Sue?
If sword says yes. Dispense dad-advice about learning how to let go and recognize when the kid has matured to a point where he/she is now self-reliable.

>>2904507
>How has your sojourn been?



I'm starting to wonder if Sue was high when we first met her. Her imagination runs extremely wild.

>>2904507
>Sometimes, engaging with someone's passing thoughts makes them stick worse
>So I hear you've become a snuggly stuffed-animal stand-in?
>WRITE IN:"So what do you think about our new visitors(superfly crew)?"

>>2904507
>>Sometimes, engaging with someone's passing thoughts makes them stick worse
>>So I hear you've become a snuggly stuffed-animal stand-in?

>>2904507
>>How has your sojourn been?

>>2904531
Exactly my line of thought. She also has to know how hard her daughter wants to bang us by now. I find it incredibly hot.

>>2904542
I feel like that was all engineered to force Sue to throw it away and decide for herself. It warned against going against Liska, not due to power but due to honor. It also knows we just challenged a god and likely has some thoughts it wants to share with us alone.

>>2904562
She was high on bloodlust.

>>2904573
I was thinking more along the incest route+ got shown to her and before she realizes it was an illusion and while still groggy she wakes up to see Sue in front of her. Just a good 30+ seconds of going Oh god what the hell did I do last night.

>>2904582
I feel like she's now become aware of how much both she and her daughter want to bang us, and that idea is more attractive than she'd like.

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>>2904507
"I AM GLAD TO HEAR THAT, LORD," the sword says, as you try levering it back and forth in the crack.

Jeez, Sue really slammed him in there. You're never arm-wrestling her.

"I heard you've become a snuggly stuffed animal stand-in?" you think at it, still try to work the sword free, "how was that sojourn?"

"THE MOST NIGHTS I HAVE EVER SPENT IN ONE GIRL'S BED," you hear in your head, with a faint echo of laughter, "BUT WE HAVE HAD THIS CONVERSATION BEFORE. IT IS THEIR RIGHT TO TELL YOU - OR NOT. UNLESS YOU ORDER ME. ASIDE FROM THAT, I HAVE LEARNED MANY THINGS. THEY HAVE LEARNED FROM ME. WE HAVE SLAUGHTERED DEMONS, AND SHE IS A BETTER WIELDER THAN YOU COULD EVER BE."

"You know how a good swordsman doesn't break his sword?" you think, as you plant your foot against the fence and wrench the sword free - you're going to have to fix that eventually.

"YES?" the sword asks you, as you shove it through your belt.

"You know why she threw you away?" you think at it, shoving the naked blade through your belt.

No response.

"Sometimes," you think at the sword, "engaging with stray thoughts makes them stick worse. You were a man once?"

"YES," the sword's voice says in your head, "AND WHAT A MAN I WA-"

"I'm guessing you lusted after women, had some stray thoughts about challenging a couple of lords just for their wives or daughters? Something like that?" you think, and the upside of psychic communication is that you don't have to bother taking a breath, "taking a cute village girl? Things you never did - but thought about. The sort of shit that flits across your mind for a moment, and then it's gone? What if you had someone in your head, arguing about each of those things, making you discuss and think more about that stray thought?"

Silence, again, as you turn away from the fence and walk back toward the center of the backyard.

"I think you've been a good influence on her," you think, "but there's a limit to everything. A good swordsman shouldn't break his sword, but a good sword can't break their swordsman. Swordswoman. Whatever. You get my drift?"

"I WAS TRYING TO DEFEND YOUR WIFE," the sword says into your head.

"And you didn't trust Sue to keep that impulse just a thought?" you think at it.

"I... I... PERHAPS," you hear in your head, "I DID NOT. DO YOU TRUST HER?"

>as far as I can throw her
>more than you
>yes
>what do you think about our visitors?
>WRITE IN

>>2904775
>yes

>>2904775
>>as far as I can throw her
Sue's not a bad kid, but her head isn't on straight. It'd trust her in a fight, but not much outside of one.

>>2904775
>yes
>what do you think about our visitors?

>>2904775
> I trust her to be a horny, hormonal, dumbass teenager. Which I trust myself to handle. If you don't trust her though, then you and her are done.

>>2904788
Eh she is a little better now.

>>2904562
>>2904574
we shot her with love infused magic too.

>>2904775
>>yes
Sue seems significantly more mature than at the start

>>2904775
>>WRITE IN
>Yes. She might have some mental issues, but she is a good girl deep down.

>>2904775
I trust her enough to let her keep wielding you. I think she has enough sense to understand what impulses are bad ideas.
I'm also more than a bit concerned about why she thinks limb amputation is some sort of mating strut. That doesn't say nice things about whatever guys she knew before me.

>>2904775
>As much as a horny teenager who vents her stress by going frilly and on a bloodlust rampage. But she's got her mom in on her secret now. She's slowly putting that loose head of hers back onto her head straight. You can feel it don't you?

>Have I ever told you I once trusted her as long as I had my shotgun in hand? Sue had to be violently restrained by Mary and Melon whenever I was around. And that was one month ago. And now? I trust her with you being able to guide her and coach her when to not fly off the handle.

>Tell me, has Sue ever gone off the handle and drowned herself in kills and demon blood> end up killing herself in the very end? Just like your previous owners?

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>>2904775
"Yes," you think at the sword, "well, I trust her to be a honry, hormonal dumbass teenager, which is about as much as I trust my family right now. But I feel like I can trust them to at least think twice. Which is more than I can say for a few wizards, and some of the rest of this basket of basket cases."

"I AM ONE OF THOSE MELODRAMATIC FOOLS," you hear inside your head, "NEUROTIC TO THE BONE, NO DOUBT ABOUT IT!"

"I trusted her enough to let her hold you, and if you can't trust her," you think, wondering about Sue's taste in music, and what bleedover that's had into the sword, "then you don't deserve to be held by her - what swordswoman should hold a sword that doesn't trust her?"

"THAT USUALLY ENDS VERY BADLY," the sword says, "I TRUST HER, BUT IN A DIFFERENT WAY. I TRUST SHE WILL COAT ME IN BLOOD. AND SHE HAS."

"Look," you think, "I'm concerned about a girl that seems to think violence is a 'love language'. Hell, I'm concerned about a girl who thinks alcohol is the perfect anesthetic. About one that thinks fucking a minotaur is how to deal with her problems, and - I'm not going to go into my family situation."

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO," the sword intones inside your head, "LORD."

You're not sure if that means he's seen enough of it to know, or if he's just acquiescing.

"I'm not going to ask you," you think at the sword, "what you've seen in her head, but I think she's a bit more mature than when I met her. I think you helped her. I think you could destroy her, accidentally. I think you probably have a better idea about that family than I do. And I think she threw you because you fucked that up."

"EVERYONE'S GOT THEIR CHAINS TO BREAK - SHE WAS BORN TO RESIST, NOT BE ABUSED," the sword says straight into your mind, and now you're really wondering about Sue's taste in music and how much it infected the sword, "I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME WHEN I AM CLOSE TO TO YOU. WOULD YOU HAVE TRUSTED HER IF SHE HADN'T THROWN ME AWAY THEN? IF YOU THOUGHT HER DECISION WAS ON MY ADVICE ALONE?"

Did he bait her into throwing him away? Is everyone playing games with you?

"WE ARE ALL PLAYING GAMES," you hear in your head, "EVEN US PAWNS ARE PLAYING OUR OWN GAMES."

>Speaking of games, what about our guests tonight?
>I think I get it. Thanks for watching out for her - I think she's a good kid
>Has she gone off the handle with you? While I was out?
>Do you think she's managed to screw her head on a bit straighter?
>WRITE IN

>>2905009
>>I think I get it. Thanks for watching out for her - I think she's a good kid

>>2905009

>I think I get it. Thanks for watching out for her - I think she's a good kid
>Speaking of games, what about our guests tonight?

>>2905009
>Speaking of games, what about our guests tonight?
>I think I get it. Thanks for watching out for her - I think she's a good kid

>>2905009
>I think I get it. Thanks for watching out for her - I think she's a good kid
>Speaking of games, what about our guests tonight?

>>2905009
Thanks for watching out for her even if you refuse to admit it.
Speaking of watching out, what of our guests tonight?

>>2905009
>>Speaking of games, what about our guests tonight?

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>>2905009
"I think I get it," you think, "even if you made your point with an anvil."

"THAT IS HOW SWORDS ARE FORGED," you hear in your head, and you wish the Sengoku spook's reverberating voice had inflections for humor, "UNFORTUNATELY, THAT'S JUST HOW I AM IN THIS FORM - YOU HAVE TO INTERPRET SARCASM YOURSELF."

You're not sure how wide the samurai's spirit is grinning within the blade. And you bet it learned 'sarcasm' as a term from Sue.

"Thanks for watching out for her," you think, "even if you don't admit admit it."

"SOMETIMES THE BABY BIRD IS THROWN FROM THE NEST," reverberates through your temples, "SOMETIMES THE BABY BIRD THROWS THE NEST DOWN FROM THE TREE."

That's either a very zen idea, a weird comment on what Sue did earlier, or the sword's fucking with you. There are way too many people fucking with you right now.

Metaphorically.

"I think she's a good kid," you think at the sword, "you saw her go help her mother instead of coming after me."

"THAT WAS WORTH ANGERING YOUR WIFE," you feel pulse through your temples, "JUST TO LET SUE DEMONSTRATE WHAT SHE FEELS FOR HER MOTHER. SO, ABOUT THOSE PEOPLE FUCKING WITH YOU."

"I was about to ask your opinion," you think, realizing that the sword can read your surface thoughts as long as you have him on you, "even pawns are playing games, hey? So, what do you think of our guests tonight?"

"I WOULD ENJOY BEING THE SWORD THAT PUT A GOD DOWN FOR GOOD," you hear in your head, "BUT THAT OPPORTUNITY'S GONE. BERNIE IS RATHER CORDIAL, AS BEFITS AN EQUAL LORD. BUT HIS VASSALS: ANGUS IS WITH US, OR AT LEAST WITH KAREN. THAT PRIEST IS LIKE NONE I'VE SEEN, EVEN WHEN THEY WERE SCREAMING."

That's a chapter of Japanese history you didn't want to think about right now.

"BUT YOU WERE REALLY WONDERING ABOUT YOUR OLD FRIEND AND HIS GROUP, WEREN'T YOU?" the sword pipes into your head, "THAT'S TRICKY. IT'S LIKE THE SHOGUN SENT HIS EMISSARIES TO A LORD WHO DIDN'T PAY HIS TAXES."

Something like that.

"BUT HE IS YOUR GUEST," the sword continues, "AND YOUR FRIEND. PERSONAL LOYALTY IS THE GREATEST LOYALTY. COULD NOBUNAGA HAVE UNITED JAPAN WITHOUT HIDEYOSHI?"

It's been a long walk back toward the center of the backyard, but it seems the ferret fight, celebration, and medical treatment have wound down a bit. And everyone's ok.

"That sword's quite the fashion statement," Superfly says, looking at you as Freebles rushes to perch on your shoulder, "the shirtless-with-bandages thing too. You're gonna have to tell me what got you. I bet the chicks go wild for it!"

>My wife got me. Well, I got her too...
>I think we had some negotiations about ASATs or something to do?
>Supermax doing ok?
>Jesus, someone get me a jacket, please
>Having a fun night so far?

>>2905214
>My wife got me. Well, I got her too...
>Supermax doing ok?

>>2905214
>>My wife got me.
>Supermax doing ok?
>Having a fun night so far?

I'm kinda tempted to offer to let him hold it.

>>2905214
>And that's how I met my wife.
>Having a fun night so far?
>All of this is making me rather hungry. Is the food ready yet?

>>2905214
>Having a fun night so far?
>Supermax doing ok?
>Jesus, someone get me a jacket, please

No write in option?

>>2905214
>My wife got me. Well, I got her too...
>Supermax doing ok?
>Jesus, someone get me a jacket, please
>Having a fun night so far?

>>2905214
Additional option: >WRITE IN
>>2905251
>No write in option?
WRITE IN is always an option unless stated otherwise. I was up against character limits, and forgot to pitch it in. Sorry.

>>2905275
>Write: in: It's getting chilly, let me go get a jacket/shirt. And the food should be ready by now.

>>2905275
>>2905251
>>2905214
Changing to this: >>2905279

Honestly don't want to have Superfly knowing about the wife. Also our assistant and his girlfriend are missing.

>>2905214
>Family heirloom
>Supermax and Freebles doing ok?
>I think the distractions might finally be over. I need a jacket. Let's get grilling if Shelby didn't beat us to the punch. We need to teach your kids about proper grilling.

>>2905286
He'd better show up to work on Monday. We need our Greek translator.

>>2905214
>>2905241
second

I swear I'm writing right now. Write-ins considered if I see them, but votes are basically locked.

>>2905286
>our assistant and his girlfriend are missing.
Last the MC saw them, they were being rather amorous in the hallway to the garage. I'm not sure that's changed much since then.
Humorously, Superfly didn't even bother checking on Reynold after he walked into the house.
>>2905306
>He'd better show up to work on Monday. We need our Greek translator.
I think it's still Thursday night. There's still one more workday before the weekend!

>>2905214
> And that's how I met my wife.

> So do you want to tell me why you came, or do you want to negotiate about ASATS?

> Alternatively, March on Sengoku is always an option. Always. That's my life now.

>>2905316
>>2905317
1 min too late.

>>2905314
Yes, and? I was talking about our assistant.

>>2905323
Yea, I misread.

In retrospect, we need to ask supafly if he knows any tricks to removing residual Dionysus madness. We don't need those sorts of dreams we had last night to come back.

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>>2905214
"Yeah," you say, "I do need a jacket. It's a bit chilly out here. The sword's a family heirloom."

...and you're getting far more stares than you want from several magical girls. Ok, you work out, but you're not THAT good-looking!

"You know I'd give you the clothes off my back, man," Superfly drawls, "but we're not exactly on the same team here. So I'm not giving up my kevlar."

You smile at him, "I know it's not yours to give," you say, looking him in the eyes, "it's your team's. Hey," you say, looking around the backyard, "anyone got a jacket or something that'll fit me?"

Rob strips his jacket off and throws it at you. Freebles has to scramble as you sling it on, and ends up clinging to one of the many unnecessary buckles as you pull it over your shoulders. Surprisingly, Rob's are almost as broad as yours. Then Freebles scrambles back up to his perch on your shoulder.

"I'm going to need that back eventually," Rob says, smirking, "eldest brother."

"You'll get it back," you tell him.

"That's," Rachel says, intoning like a movie critic, lounging in her seat at a picnic table, "actually a lot more devastating than when you were just stripped to the waist."

You glance at W fast enough to catch his dad glare. That's completely on his daughter! You were just trying to get warm. He could have given you his jacket!

Also, if Rob's coat looks good on you, you're never going to understand fashion.

"It's more the bandages under it," Shirley tells her sister, as if she's critiquing camerawork, and W's dad glare redoubles. Yeah, that's not your problem. And they're both joking, right?

"I SEE SEVERAL CONCUBINES IN THE MAKING HERE," the sword says into your head.

"Well," you think, "you've got a screwed-up way of seeing the world. I'm not in the market. I'm just glad they're getting along!"

"Supermax doing alright?" you ask Superfly, as he tries to stifle a laugh.

"I'm great," the ferret says, poking his head out of one of Superfly's jacket pockets. It was meant to hold ammunition, but a magical ferret's far higher-powered ammunition than anything it's seen before.

"Freebles?" you ask, looking up at your shoulder, "you fine, bro?"

"Never better, bro," Freebles says, "damn good match," he tells the other ferret, "Sam. Max. Sam'n'Max. Supermax. Really not sure what to call you."

"They aren't either," 'Supermax' says, as he swarms up onto Superfly's shoulder, "it was fun, though."

"Having fun so far?" you ask Superfly, and the two members of his team standing behind him.

"Well, yeah," he says, then his eyes narrow, "but I want to have this ASAT discussion before I eat your bread and salt."

>The records say I got pulled over for a brakelight exam
>You're probably operating a couple yourself
>Search my property for any supervillain device that could do that - but there are a couple of rooms you shouldn't go in for family reasons
>The 'ASAT' is a person. And I'm not giving her up
>I think this is a dinner table conversation
>WRITE IN

>>2905393

>The records say I got pulled over for a brakelight exam

>>2905393
>The records say I got pulled over for a brakelight exam
>You're probably operating a couple yourself, behind you, right now

>>2905393
>>The records say I got pulled over for a brakelight exam

>>2905393
>>The records say I got pulled over for a brakelight exam

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>>2905393
How many Final Fantasies are we, on a scale of 0 to Nier Gestalt?

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>>2905393
>You're probably operating a couple yourself.

Could we claim it was Melon, and also diplomatic immunity?

Nier Daddy 2.0

>>2905393
Sounds like a table talk and we might also need Madison to be up and alert instead of reading a book.
>And what is you definition of ASAT in this case?
>We have no weapons designed to hit any satellites, no intention to do so now, in the past, or in the future unless it turns out the moon is crashing in 3 days. Likewise with anything concerning any form of aggression towards the US government unless they intend to SEVERELY impede upon our rights as US citizens.
If he tries to say the girls are ASATS.
>I REFUSE to let you or anyone else consider a bunch of children as nothing more than weapons. *Dad Glare* We saw enough of that shit in the jungles for several of their lifetimes.
>And if you should be investigating anything it should be those damn rats stockpiling energy for the damn apocalypse in front of your damn faces.
> I think your chucklefuck demon superiors should also try and do some damn research to notice that my mother in law is Japan's fastest rising land god, her family traditionally owns the entire Japanese government, my sister is the soon to be queen of Hell, my boss probably owns more countries than they do,we're all connected to what is probably a reasonably powerful god that probably has this city as her earthly place of power if you listened to that mic,Kelly is the angel of death (and that title might have just become much more literal), at least half a dozen wizards are here, we killed a duke of hell trying to invade the city last week, several Greek gods seem to be arguing over who's my patron, and I'm a father trying to protect his daughter. I am the archduke Ferdinand of this situation. Do not set things off that aren't aimed at you. I have a goddamn apocalypse to cancel like that movie guy I bet you're gonna say was based on you and I do not need a bunch of stupid bullshit fights I don't want getting in the damn way.
>Also possible write in. Tap freebles with the sword to relay a message to get ready those contracts without those pesky drawbacks limiters he was working on. If they want a fight we're going with enough overwheling force to hopefully stop them without any deaths.

>>2905444
Feel free to add whatever military lingo I absolutely do not recall to my trips.

>they were being rather amorous in the hallway to the garage

And that is another couple/relationship together thanks to us.

>>2905423
Only if you want the spooks after our kid.

>>2905393
>The records say I got pulled over for a brakelight exam

The second option is admiting we even have a ASAT. Searching the propety might have then checking our garage/ammunition workshop and i don't know the laws about that.

>>2905393
>The records say I got pulled over for a brakelight exam

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>>2905393
"I happened to get pulled over for a missing brakelight that night," you say, "I believe you've checked the records."

"And I just saw your wife and the chief of police help someone who I THINK is a police officer into the house together," Superfly says, "if there's one thing that hasn't changed from back in the day," he tells you, "it's that I don't give a shit about what the paperwork says. So," he continues, glaring at you, "Deuce, what's going on? Are you really operating an ASAT?"

Yeah, you remember that.

"Are you operating ASATs?" you ask.

That one hits home. You get a slight twinge out of his lip. He only ever had so much of a poker face.

"I happen to be a man whose daughter decided to be a magical girl," you say, "and who married a kitsune after a drunken spree in San Diego. I don't regret that second part. What, did you think I was some suburban M. Bison with a Shadaloo? You think I'm trying to build fuckin' Outer Heaven here? (You played the shit out of those games on the base TV, didn't you?) You think I'm about to play Tetsuo to your Kaneda? (And we watched that tape until it wore out - remember when that private thought it was porn?)"

"That was damn funny," Superfly says, but can't quite bring himself to laugh, "poor guy. He really got gypped on that tape. But, even if you're none of that, and I don't have a laser gun, I think you might be a real threat to national security. Even if you don't have a damn Metal Gear," he finishes, with a twisted grin.

"No more a threat than the demons you're working for," you tell him, as you see people spiraling in around the two of you, like vultures over the desert, or sharks that smell blood in the water, "you should be deep enough in to know what's going on."

"It's been fishy," Superfly says, "but it's always fishy when you're swimming in the deep end of the alphabet ocean."

"It's a lot more than 'fishy', Superfly," you say, "hey, Supermax, how do you get your numbers right with your bosses, again? Where did those demons come from?"

The question hangs in the air, and you can't read Superfly's expression behind those glasses.

>I need Rick out here for an object lesson in government officials
>I am not operating a weapon capable of taking out satellites. You can search my house, if you want
>Come on man (put your hand on Superfly's shoulder), you know what we're dealing with here
>Let's eat. The stuff on the grill should be done, and if your guys inside are half as good as you, we've got some great sides!
>WRITE IN

>>2905477
>>I need Rick out here for an object lesson in government officials

>>2905477
>WRITE IN:"Yeah i figured it was something like that."

>Let's eat. The stuff on the grill should be done, and if your guys inside are half as good as you, we've got some great sides!

>>2905444
Dont reveal anything more than we have to.

>>2905477
>>I need Rick out here for an object lesson in government officials

>>2905477
> All I'm doing is looking after my kid, and trying to find a way to get the others OUT of the game. Definitely not looking to get them further stuck in. If you have a magic wand to wave and fix that shit, then pass it 'round.

> But I'm not the one showing up with a bunch of children on a Government leash, with a rat that looks mighty close to being a slave. I wonder how much of that "Freedom" we fought for those kids are getting.

> Meanwhile I'm fighting off Demons, Gods, and teenage hormones. You think that I want to pick a fight with Uncle Sam on top of that? What the hell would be the point.

>>2905498
>>2905477
TL;DR We aren't weaponizing kids. Can he say the same?

>>2905444
There's a lot of good stuff in this, and I worked a bit of it in, but most of it, particularly:
>I REFUSE to let you or anyone else consider a bunch of children as nothing more than weapons
seems to be fodder for if the MC REALLY has to have a debate with this guy.
>>2905490
>Dont reveal anything more than we have to.
I do try to write with that idea in mind.

>>2905477
>I need Rick out here for an object lesson in government officials

>>2905456
I thought those two were together before we met them? And he still doesn’t know she’s a fairy?
>>2905477
>>2905487
Seconding. Let’s not force the issue, just let him think about it.

>>2905477
>“In hindsight i have prevented tw... three? Several apoccalyptic occurences. My sister is nearly the queen of hell, we have connections with a new goddess who may have this city as her domain, there are a HELL of a lot of wizards and magical girls here, my wife and daughter are kitsune, my brother in law basically owns japan, and i have an angel of death on my side. I don’t even want to get into how some of the greek gods seem to be fighting over who gets to be my biggest patron. I just want to be able to sit down and have a normal dinner for once, so we are going in, and we are tabling this until after desert.”

>>2905518
She had two secrets. She is a fae and also a assassin/hired mercenary.
So i don't exactly blame then for not knowing everything about each other. Not like we can say much seeing who we end up marrying.

>>2905524
No need to tell we are associated to a duchess of hell. That is saying to much.

>>2905490
Don't HAVE to say everything, but the reason archduke Ferdinand being assassinated devolved into WWI was noone realizing just how big the giant snarl of alliances was gonna get if he dies. Supafly is dealing with crap not remotely in his job description and whatever passes for the intelligence gathering didn't bother to do even a basic background check on us to notice that we were friends with him.
I don't recall what the exact military term for this is but it most definitely qualifies for a FUBAR somewhere no matter how competent Supafly and his team might possibly be. It's not a threat from us. it's pointing out that his idiot bosses don't know what the hell they're doing or aiming them at.
Plus the shot back about the rats starting an apocalypse (which they clearly don't know since he hasn't even had Max checked out by a wizard) should tell him and anyone else above him that maybe they should be asking us for info (or looking into that for info) instead of letting the end of all creation start due to sheer incompetence. NotGendo is probably gonna get reamed for that if post apocalypse it turned out we knew of this all along but he sent a team that prevented us from stopping it. it'll make it turning out that the US government got warnings for 9/11 but forgot about it until after 9/11 look like a child sitting on a whoopee cushion. So the problem here is that it might look like a threat but it's actually us trash talking the shit out of Supafly's bosses.
>>2905532
You do realize he saw our sister? Elanor is clearly fairly notorious as well since Bernie knew about her the instant we said our sister's name. All of this stuff is an extremely basic background check that an alphabet agency is "supposed" to be capable of doing. Any one of the misc things about us should have made supafly go off on his coworkers for trying to send him to die.
We don't need to do a long rant. But telling him to not do such a sloppy recon job is in order somewhere. If it was anyone other than him he could have been killed trying to attack a bunch of children.

>>2905524
Don’t give Harriet’s looping shit away.
Only give away who we’re related to if totally necessary. It seems like this is an information asymmetry game.

>>2905537
Sounds like a lot of assumptions of your part. Outsuxe of her clothing and the fact she was fainted in our living room Superfly didn't saw our sister entering the room from a hell portal.

>>2905541
She only got carried away by a giant demon fox while covered in blood, and wearing whatever the hell her demonic blood-drenching bikini outfit that she wears for war is and we said she was our sister. Nothing suspicious there at all.

>>2905545
>>2905541
>>2905545
Plus we kind of told assistant that she was a duchess of hell at least a day or two ago.
They HAVE all of this information but were too stupid to think twice or possibly even look once. Supafly was sent into a deathtrap

>>2905548
>>2905541
The more you make me examine the whole situation the more I wonder if they weren't being tricked into a suicide mission. They got sent to scope out and possibly attack/assassinate the little sibling of a known (or at least reported back to the HQ) Duchess of hell. Tricking a squad into personally pissing off a duke of hell when we're the first humans to ever win against one sure as hell sounds like the entire squad was written off as expendable.

>The records say I got pulled over for a brakelight exam

>>2905477
>“In hindsight i have prevented tw...
three? Several apoccalyptic occurences. My sister is nearly the queen of hell, we have connections with a new goddess who may have this city as her domain, there are a HELL of a lot of wizards and magical girls here, my wife and daughter are kitsune, my brother in law basically owns japan, and i have an angel of death on my side. I don’t even want to get into how some of the greek gods seem to be fighting over who gets to be my biggest patron. I just want to be able to sit down and have a normal dinner for once, so we are going in, and we are tabling this until after desert.”

Copied the wrong one...

>>2905506
Yeah. it was a bit of an insurance depending on how the next few posts went. The situation seemed a bit volatile since he thinks we're a threat and we insist we aren't one but cant trust his bosses to not want "something" done.

>>2905582
Depends mostly if their bosses are like Rick. In another words just demons that want to live in the human world and feed on the humans emotions.

Or if they are the ones thay want to control humans and conquer both hell and earth.

>>2905580
Ah also my boss is at least a thousand year old dragon.

>>2905585
The situation would be the same if they weren't demons. This is an agency that's supposed to be doing very illegal and unethical crap out of the pubic eye.
Rick's boss was a duke so even if we consider Rick to be fairly mundane his true superior certainly wasn't nice. The same applies to whatever demons Supafly works for.

>>2905477
Rick. Please explain what you know about government officials.

>>2905594
What did happen with Ricks superior anyway? Did the other guy killed him?

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>>2905477
"Figured it was something like that," you finally say, and you see Bernie grinning out of the corner of your eye, part of the circle forming around the two of you, "look, I think the barbeque's probably done, and if your team's half as good as you, we've got some great sides too."

"They're not even half as good as me," Superfly says, "look," he tells you and sighs, "Deuce, I can't eat your bread and salt until we iron this out," and he looks around the circle, "I see probably three wizards, a priest, and at least one witch - you all know what I mean, right?" he asks the world in general.

"There's only reason a man doesn't eat his host's bread and salt," Bernie says in a low voice, showing a few too many sharp teeth.

You can almost feel the tension rise, and you glance around the circle yourself.

They're marking targets, or you're a tadpole. Rob and 'Ace' are staring at each other like they want to cast the other guy other down from heaven. 'Mach's eyes are flitting between the people behind and around you as if she can't decide who's the biggest threat. Or the words "target rich environment" are going through her head.

"Two," Superfly tells the dragon, out of the side of his mouth, "one of them is keeping options open. I don't know what you have set up here."

"Nothing that triggers on that," you say, then look at W and James, "unless you guys have been doing something behind my back."

"Not really my thing," W says, swishing his wine in that eternal glass, "I think even the big containment circle got washed away. We got a lot of rain the other night."

"Not my style," James says, spreading his arms, "look, I've got enough people after my guts. Although I do get what what you're saying about hospitality."

"Superfly," you say, "all I'm doing is looking after my daughter. And her friends. And my wife. And... a fairly large extended family. Trying to get my daughter out of the game. Not getting anyone further in. If you've got a magic wand or pipe that can fix that, pass it around."

"You know this isn't that kind of circle," Superfly says, then grins at you, "so how long until they start chanting 'FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!'?"

"The ferrets," you say, jerking your head at Freebles and Supermax, "had to do it. We don't. Hell, I wanted you over for a barbeque and a nice chat. Didn't want it to end up this way, but do you want to see the true form of our government?"

"We've both seen it," Superfly says, "if you're about to show me the chief of police or the mayor is really a demon or something," then he sighs, "yeah, my job's not just fishy, it's the belly of the whale."

"So relax a bit, like we planned," you tell him, "hell, we went through all that to get our ferrets squared, and you won't even eat with us?"

"Hey, Deuce," Superfly says, "as a friend, what did kill those satellites?"

[1/2]

>>2905601
[2/2]
>Dunno. I don't have any weapon that could do that
>There was an ...accident during a magical girl fight
>Obviously it was a dragon or something
>Why are you this determined if you know the job's so fishy?
>WRITE IN

>>2905601
>Dunno. I don't have any weapon that could do that
>Writein: "The keyword is the 'weapon' word by the way."

And with that, I'm out for the night. Hopefully I'll see you all again tomorrow.

There have been some really interesting theories and such in this thread.

Twitter for runtimes: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge
Archive if you didn't catch the link earlier: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Shotgun

As usual, questions/comments/death threats/etc. on this post may be gotten to.

>>2905598
>What did happen with Ricks superior anyway? Did the other guy killed him?
Rick swore loyalty (not brotherhood) to the MC instants before Ellie murdered Focalor (Rick's former boss. Well, probably his boss' boss' boss' boss).
One of the things we haven't gotten into yet is what the effects of Ellie's conquests are on the demons embedded on earth.

>>2905605
>"The keyword is the 'weapon' word by the way."
I had planned on writing that option with that sort of implication.

>>2905609
Yeah i just decided to put a write in to make sure the slower posters get it too. If superfly doesn't get it then he doesn't deserve to be in the military.

Some people outside of it always see the common soldier more as a weapon rather then a person.

>>2905601
>Laser mishap, can't really say from what

>>2905601
>Dunno. I don't have any weapon that could do that

>>2905601
>Dunno. I don't have any weapon that could do that

>>2905602
>Dunno. I don't have any weapon that could do that
>Why are you this determined if you know the job's so fishy?

>>2905602
A big stupid accident with an absurd amount of dumb luck. If it was that easy to take down a satellite then I think you would have taken an entire country off the grid via accident by now after shotgunning a bottle of teqilla.

>>2905602
>>2905775
This

>>2905775
>>2905781
>>2905636
You guys do realize that they are most likely wired too right? I mean even Superfly admited that not all of his crew was with him here.

This will also be pushed to Superfly superiors who will try to target our magical girl that is able to knockout a satelite.

>>2905787
His superiors have a decent chance of being unable to take us if they don't actually pull a military style airstrike on a US city. There may be ranks above Duke, but Ellie alone is kind of destined to kill their asses while we only grow stronger. Unless Ace the hardware place is secretly strong enough to take out a duke+ tier, us and Sue's mom are the only people they can actually win/kill.
Their research is so ramshackle that we could probably bribe half the kids with the prospect of a fair contract rewrite alone.
I notice that Assistant didn't even manage to pass on to Supafly that Bernie is a dragon. That theory about them actually trying to kill supafly or being just that incompetent is really starting to gain traction.

>>2905810
Maybe. Still we shouldn't give everything we have so easily. We still have people, no, a family to protect.

>>2905813
He did ask as a friend. If he's wired they will also quickly learn the whole archduke Ferdinand thing.

>>2905608
It would be hilarious if she actually "owned" America and didn't realize it but I was figuring that there would be a higher ranked demon that has those properties.

>>2905819
>>2905608

Shit, Belphegor is a prince. She might legitimately own America by now if she's gotten up to taking down that rank.

>>2905819
The best way to keep balance is to have sis rulling hell and us rulling over earths magical comunity with mutiple Gods as our benefectors.

>>2905602
> Not what. Who. It was an accident of wrong place at the wrong time. Overall, Dutch, did it occur to you that the US of A just might not be that important?

That's all you get, unless you're going to tell me why you're so focused on this, and what the satellite was supposed to do. I invited you over as a friend. If you insist on being a Politician instead, or a Spook, that's you forcing me to treat you like one.

>>2905602
>a friendly "dust-up" between two girls not like the one you had when naming Supermax. It ain't pretty considering our options before it blew up in our faces. It was either a having giant ravine burn straight through the entire country or point it up in space and hope it didn't hit anything in orbit. At least it missed the moon, the ISS, and the Hubble Telescope.

>>2905810
It occurs to me that since he hasn't asked "Who" yet, his team might actually be crap compared to ours.

>>2905968
They're garbage as far as knowledge, research, and planning goes. It's possible that they might have aberrations even if logically they should be weaker than anyone else capable of fighting here. (we're leeching god buffs and Dutchess buffs, Freebles has been skimming payments, everyone leveled up on a demon legion or two,"ate" a Duke, and so on while Ace's big claim to fame is shooting down some planes. My original suggestion of calling it a dumb accident and dumb luck to downplay it has a dual purpose of showing that we think having enough firepower to accidentally do that is NORMAL. If they are much weaker than us, this will scare the crap out of the Supafly Sentai.

>>2905981
It also occurs to me that the Government might be keeping them intentionally weak.

>>2905985
Maybe. Haiku could have kept in the whole "lv 5s are absurdly weak compared to even low~mid-range magicians while thinking they're top tier" power scaling that's in Index.
There was something else I wanted to say but I've completely forgotten it.

>>2905602
>I don't have any weapon that could do that
>Why are you this determined if you know the job's so fishy?

>>2905787
>may be wired
That really comes down to how much we trust this guy. He straight-up told us they weren’t.
>>2905810
>didn’t even pass on Bernie was a dragon
It feels like Superfly is playing the same information asymmetry game we are. There’s no way he can’t know what Bernie is, or his org is really shit, but he has no reason to give away what he knows until he has to.

>>2906097
We told Reynolds a great deal of stuff AND let him look at the contracts. If he's playing the information symmetry game he's either doing it badly with stuff we already knew he should know, is out of his depth but doesn't realize it, or is pretending to be retarded to get our guard down. I'm not gonna go around puffing my chest like all of the assholes we shot (literally) down a peg or anything like that. It's more likely that he just has a dose of the same sort of dumb luck we do.
He should have known it was our house and we'd recognize him from multiple sources, he would have known to just explode the house and blame it on a gas leak if he realized it was our girls(unless this is a conscription op),he should have known Bernie is a dragon with enough wealth and connections to fly right over his head if he doesn't outright eat him, he should have known that we are trying to (have) unravel(ed) ferret contracts and realized ours is working together with wizards, he should have known Ellie and Dio were coming and written Assistant off when he was found out because that is too much firepower in one spot. Mary going full god was entirely unplanned so a basic recon at a magical bar would have told him the Bernie faction and the magical girl faction recently teamed up due to the "Shotgun Shogun." He shouldn't have been surprised by the idea of having a wizard check his ferret out. If he's playing the long game then he's doing it for little to no reason I can think of other than waiting for us to do the sort of stupid magical shit that we are known specifically for not doing because we are squishy and actually a sane/normal human being.

>>2906150
I just want to argue against the sane part. No sane human would keep himself married to a kitsune.

>>2906206
No sane human could turn down those fluffy ears.

>>2906220
And the SEVEN fluffy tails.That is very true.

>>2905602
>Dunno. I don't have any weapon that could do that

>>2905602
>There was an ...accident during a magical girl fight

>>2906150
>Bernie
What if the dragon knew Reynold was a plant, maybe he had to take one on as an exchange for another favor, and chucked him at us intentionally? It would explain a few things.

That ‘even the pawns are playing games’ line is terrifying.

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>>2905601
"Dunno," you say, and you see Superfly smile.

"I don't think you ever won a round of poker against me," Superfly says, "so?"

"I don't have a weapon that could do anything like that," you say, "and that's the truth."

You would really prefer to not go bareknuckles against your old buddy in a circle of dragons, wizard, witches, magical girls, and whatever the hell Rob and Ace are.

"I guess it is," he says, "you ain't makin' that curve with your lip."

"So that was my tell?" you ask him, "wait, I lost two hundred dollars to you that night because I curve my lip when I'm lyin'?"

"You lost way more than that, man," Superfly says, "that was the big one - but..."

"Alright, alright," you say, waving a hand at him as you hear muffled laughter, "I was never the best poker player."

"Can't say I'm an expert either," Superfly says, then stares you down suddenly, "you don't have any weapons that could take out a satellite?" he asks.

"No," you say, and it's nothing like a lie, "I just work on the cars in the garage - you know."

"I always wondered why they didn't put you in motor pool," Superfly says, grinning, "what ARE you driving these days?"

>Want to come have a look before dinner?
>Who's driving you these days?
>I'm starting to think your boss sent you here to die with me. FAE's don't discriminate
>Something fun. But we can look at it after dinner.
>WRITE IN

>>2906794
>>Want to come have a look before dinner?
>>Who's driving you these days?

>>2906794
>>Want to come have a look before dinner?
>>Who's driving you these days?

>>2906794
>Want to come have a look before dinner?
>Who's driving you these days?

>>2906794
>>Want to come have a look before dinner?
>>Who's driving you these days?

>>2906794
>>Something fun. But we can look at it after dinner.

>>2906794
>Want to come have a look before dinner?
>Who's driving you these days?

i guess there is no problem in showing him our impront gun workshop. The one the girls build during the demonic invasion.

>>2906840
What? We just build custom parts for our car there.

>>2906842
I though it was obvious that the girls turned our workshop in more a gun workshop during the demon invasion. I mean if we managed to see it with our military background i think Superfly will too.

But not like we have anything that allow us to build a ASATs inside our garage.

>>2906868
Yeah it's obvious that it's been repurposed but so what? We've never made a gun there and he isn't here for that anyway. Hell we were in a coma when that thing was allegedly in use.

He might get mad because we aren't being completely honest about things that shouldn't be important to him but that doesn't damn well matter.

>>2906840
but isn't that legal-ish?

>>2906840
As long as we're not manufacturing firearms with the intent to sell, or aren't modifying firearms into a legally restricted form, there's no issue with having a gun workshop.

>>2906794

>Want to come have a look before dinner?

>>2906893
I mean i will be honest there is no way he and his bosses don't know about the duke that came to our town and started a war in it. We can even use Rick testemony if we want to justify all this stuff after all were where they when the demons invaded?

>>2906895
i don't know about gun law in the USA.

>>2906909
Well problem solved then.

>>2906950
My point is we shouldn't have to justify it. He shouldn't give a damn about it unless there's some far deeper objective to his inspection than possible ASATs that has him emotionally compromised or he never actually liked us and decides to just be a super bitch.

>>2906976
Yeah that is fair, i just got worried because gun law is very restrict in my country i guess.

>>2906983
You have me thinking though

The government is demons

Demons who know Ellie and are afraid of her

Demons who know she bought us at that auction then let us free

Demons who probably realize that she's our sister Elizabeth who disappeared at roughly the same time Ellie showed up in hell

How worried should we be that they are trying to get to her through us and use Superfly, who is on government records as having served with us and certainly has records of being friendly with us?

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>>2906794
"It's a beast of a car," you say, "want to have a look before dinner?"

"Love to," he says, the looks back over his shoulder, "Mach, on me. Ace, don't kill anyone. Don't even seriously injure them."

"Aye, aye, cap'n," the albino says, "but what if-"

"Don't," Superfly tells him, then pauses for a second, "actually, you come inside too. Hit the kitchen."

You look around the circle as it breaks. There are a few looks of disappointment there, but that's fine.

"Show me the car, man," Superfly says, falling in beside you as you head inside.

You open the back door, and see Jean laid out on the couch, with several people hovering over her.

"All your parties like this?" Superfly mutters at you.

"You remember what happened when they let us out of basic?" you mutter back, and he laughs.

You put your hand on Liska's shoulder, and she stiffens for a second, then twists around to look at you and relaxes a bit.

"That's a, uh," she says, looking you up and down, "quite the fashion statement."

"Is she ok?" you ask.

"Are any of us?" Liska hisses back at you, then catches herself a bit, "yeah, she'll be fine," she continues, then takes a step forward, plants her mouth against your ear, and whispers, "a thousand bucks says Rick ends up in ropes by the end of the night."

"I'm not taking that one," you whisper back, watching the demon chief of police kneeling alongside Sue over the woman on the couch, "try making sure things don't get out of hand. And I need someone to watch my back in the garage."

"Then I'm coming," Liska says, and you raise an eyebrow at her, then turn to Superfly.

"The garage is right this way, folks," you tell him, and lead the way through the living room and down the hallway, as the rest of the folks outside begin to filter into the party.

Doesn't take long to get into the garage.

"That's a damn good piece of metal!" Superfly says, looking at your car, then he bends over to look at the wheels, "disk brakes on all four? Nice! What'd you do to the engine?"

"Everything," you tell him, "not sure I've got half the original parts left. You would not believe this thing, man!"

"I can believe a lot of things," he says, as he straightens up and tilts his head oddly at 'Mach'. She nods at him, and a birdsnest of sparks start circling her forehead.

"For instance," he continues, stepping back and clapping his subordinate on the shoulder, "I believe Mach can knock out any electronic surveillance," he says, and looks at you, "so let's talk turkey, Deuce."

>You've seen what I'm driving, so who's driving you?
>Who shot JFK?
>I'm guessing you want to make a deal they can't see
>Was Roswell really aliens?
>There are a lot of things that don't add up here. So...?
>WRITE IN

>>2907080
>>There are a lot of things that don't add up here. So...?

>>2907080
>There are a lot of things that don't add up here. So...?

>>2907080
>There are a lot of things that don't add up here. So...?
>I'm guessing you want to make a deal they can't see

>>2907080
>>There are a lot of things that don't add up here. So...?
"What specifically do you want to know? Do I have an ASAT or do I have people who can take out satellites? It doesn't matter, we weren't going after your bosses and we have no intention of ever doing so."

>>2907080
>I'm guessing you want to make a deal they can't see
>There are a lot of things that don't add up here. So...?

>>2907080
>There are a lot of things that don't add up here. So...?
>I'm guessing you want to make a deal they can't see

>>2907080
>>Who shot JFK?
>Was Roswell really aliens?
but seriously
>There are a lot of things that don't add up here. So...?

>>2907080
>How far back does that Rabbit Hole go Morpheous? Did it go all the way back when John Wilkes Booth killed Lincoln? Or did it all start at JFK?

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>>2907080
"Well," you say, "there are a lot of things that don't add up here."

"You can say that again," Superfly tells you, as he sits down on a workshop stool, "you're the accountant, aren't you? You would have put it together faster than I did. By the way," he says, gesturing at the toolbench, "that's a really good setup you got there, Deuce."

"Isn't it, though?" you ask, "nothing I could make there could kill satellites. I do reloads for trap shooting, though. And some machining on my car and my guns."

You hear a large spark off Mach's forehead, and start smelling ozone.

"So?" you ask, staring down at your old buddy. You're writing it off as 'magical girls' now, but if they're trying to get you in an enclosed space and strangle you with ozone, Liska's going to be the last to go down, and she'll take them out before your body hits the floor.

"Mach," Superfly says, looking at his subordinate, "you make too much ozone, and we all die. I know you can control it," he says, his hand tightening just a bit on her shoulder, "so, Deuce," he continues, looking at you, "you playing that dragon's tune?"

Wait, what?

>He's trying not to play mine
>No. You want to make a deal?
>Look, can we cut the shit and talk this out like men?
>Yes, quite definitely, Bernie is the real power here
>Ok, we really need to get some things straight here
>WRITE IN

>>2907199
>>He's trying not to play mine

>>2907199
>>Ok, we really need to get some things straight here

>>2907199
>cut the shit and talk it out like men
Sounds like he may think the dragon’s the real threat here, or he’s playing us against the dragon.

There are too many games happening right now

>>2907199
>>Ok, we really need to get some things straight here

>>2907199
>Ok, we really need to get some things straight here

>>2907199
>Bernie is just trying to keep everything in the city under control and as neutral as possible.He and i just have the same interest.

>>2907199
>Ok, we really need to get some things straight here

>>2907199
>Laugh
Bernie's just a bit rough around the edges sometimes, he got way more chill once he realized I have absolutely no idea what the hell I'm doing instead of some Machiavellian mastermind. I'm possibly way more valuable to him as an accountant. I got that Dionysus guy as a client after Zeus was sending creepy letters asking about my daughter and I gave an appropriate response.
It's actually more of a partnership really since I ddn't see the point of gangland shit when we could all team up and yell fuck vampires at the top of our lungs.

>>2907199
>>2907244
>And his husband is an amasing cook.

>>2907199
>>He's trying not to play mine

>>2907199
>Ok, we really need to get some things straight here
>He's trying not to play mine
>No. You want to make a deal?

These are cool

>>2907244
>He's trying not to play mine
>Much of the stupid shit that's happened the past 2 months was me diving headfirst into the deep end with no idea what's going on. half of those 2 months was spend in a coma.
>>2907199
This.

>>2907258
>>2907244
>>2907300
>>2907199
Guess we are going with a hybrid of this, I support it.
>More like Partners
>Zeus anecdote
>How we got Dio as client
>Not in it for the power game
>Had our share of mistakes
>His husband is an amazing cook
>My things are my things, his things are his we are just amicable.

>I am a father who jumped face first into t to save his daughter. I promptly found out all about magic and created a giant magical pta/mafia totally by accident. Bernie was my totally normal boss before I found out he was a dragon and we have an agreement to keep out of each other's way to not kill the city. dragons trying to politically maneuver me is a pain.

>>2907199
> Laugh. Laugh hard.

> That's my day job. We have an arrangement to have no arrangements for anything except my 9-5.

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>>2907199
"What the hell briefing did you get for this op?" you ask Superfly, "I think we need to get some things straight - if your girl's got us covered."

A finger of lightning lashes toward you and fizzles out in midair. Alright, 'Mach' probably has you covered.

Even if that was a rather violent method of displaying it.

"What do we need to get straight on?" Superfly asks you.

"First off," you say, looking him in the eyes, "I dove into the deep end a couple months ago to try and save my daughter. It's too bad you couldn't meet her tonight," you say, purposefully dragging your eyes across both Superfly and Mach.

"And second," you continue, "Bernie's in a rough nonaggression pact with me. I work for him during daytime hours, as an accountant. We... co-operate a bit outside the office. We both want to keep the city neutral as far as the things that go bump in the night go - yell 'FUCK VAMPIRES!' when we have to, stop demon invasions, that sort of thing. Sometimes he threatens to eat me, and then my folks threaten to make him seven kinds of dead, then he backs off a bit and we all have a few drinks together. Or his partner makes waffles or something. Heinrich makes really good waffles. Not sure anyone's really dancing to a tune there. We're more like a jazz improv group or something."

"But third," you say, putting your arm around Liska, and you can feel she's tense as piano wire, "I ain't in it for the power. I ain't in it for my health. I ain't in it for the glory of anything at all, and I sure ain't in it for the wealth. I'm in it to get Melon out. And get a lot of other girls out of even worse contracts," you say, and look at the crackling tangle of sparks in front of Mach's eyes.

"So," you say, looking back at Superfly, "I'm not a fan of this dancing in the dark shit - you can shoot straight, man."

"Well," he says, looking at Mach, and patting her shoulder, "that's why I've got you here, kid, huh?"

"One of several reasons," she says, sparks still wreathing her head, "I'm not a glorified Jacob's Ladder."

"Nah," Superfly says, "you're a lot more than that," then he looks back up at you, "so under the assumption this never leaves the room, what do you want to know about?"

>I want to know about how much you know about me
>I want to know why you're doing this
>I want to know what the Bernie/Reynold angle was
>I want to know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop
>I want to know why you think you need me
>I want to know how hard your bosses are panicking right now
>WRITE IN

>>2907817
>I want to know how hard your bosses are panicking right now
>I want to know why you're doing this
>And if your going to actually come back for me if they send you to take care of me.

>>2907817
>>I want to know about how much you know about me
>>I want to know why you're doing this

>>2907817
>>I want to know how hard your bosses are panicking right now
The ASAT situation is the sort of thing that can start wars in the wrong political climate, I wouldn't blame them for being twitchy

>>2907817
>I want to know about how much you know about me
>I want to know why you're doing this
>I want to know what the Bernie/Reynold angle was
>I want to know why you think you need me
>I want to know how hard your bosses are panicking right now

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>>2907365
>2907365
You thought you would b doing accounting for your girlfriend; BUT IT WAS ME DIO

>>2907817
>I want to know how hard your bosses are panicking right now

Ah now all those client that Bernie had that dealled with Souls and virgins make sense...

I'm almost tempted to ask who the other satelites belonged to. Because we know that four satelites got destroyed and Bernie only spoke of one and now Superfly said it was just two. But i take the satelites actually belongeg to Bernie and Supafly bosses.

I'm going to bed. Not sure I can do this justice right now. Jesus, I have got to start writing earlier in the mornings. But at least I got some good cooking done today.

Next runtime on twitter: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

>>2907895
Satellite Killcount as stated by characters:
Kelly (via his contact, who wouldn't tell him whose they were): 4
Bernie (who knows there were multiple countries involved): 3
Superfly: 2
To steal a phrase from an anon, there's some serious information asymmetry / "does he know that I know that he knows?" stuff going on. So far, the MC hasn't corrected either Bernie or Superfly on their numbers, because that would give away that he has a better/alternate source of information. Alternatively, they may know the real numbers and are fishing for how much the MC knows.
Several people are playing very, very dangerous games.
>Bernie and Supafly bosses
Bernie's his own boss, although he does cut deals with ruling powers on occasion. Superfly is pretty obviously a government operative.

>>2908040
Good night. See ya on the flipside, QM.

>>2907817
>I want to know how hard your bosses are panicking right now
That leaves it ambiguous whether we’re talking about people having satellite problems or demons having other issues. Now that I think about it, if demons are playing chess with earth as their board, Ellie is basically a pawn that started running through a chess tournament shanking players.

>>2907817 #
>I want to know about how much you know about me
>I want to know why you're doing this
>I want to know what the Bernie/Reynold angle was
>I want to know why you think you need me
>I want to know how hard your bosses are panicking right now

>>2907817
In order of significance

> I want to know if you're coming to me for help as a friend, or for negotiations as a Suit.

> If it's as a friend, I'll do whatever I can to help you and your kids. If you have issues with their contracts with your rat, if you need a supply of energy, if you just need them to learn how to be teenagers, that sort of thing no question. Heck, even if you're coming to me as a suit that offer is still open, if maybe limited. No questions asked, no obligation made.

> If you're coming to me as a Suit, then I've played my hand for you. Time to play yours and tell me what/who your bosses are, what they want from us, what they're willing to give, and who they want to involve in whatever agreement we end up with. I might have to talk to my crew to check if you're actually able to represent them, or if an agreement breaks any of their pre-existing conditions.

Then

> Make a reference to our code from our time in the army for when one of us isn't able to talk openly. Ask if he still regrets not marrying that girl from South America. Yes means he's compromised, no means he can talk openly.

I notice that he's always with one of the others, I'm concerned that he might be under surveillance as well.

If he says no to the question, we should see if we can talk to him one on one and see if he wants us to look for a way to cut him loose from his handlers, either by magic, politics, or subterfuge. We have some interesting options.

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A month later

>>2907817
(Any is fine, there's not really any giant mystery we needed the answer to so hard that I can immediately think of one to ask? Each response doesn't really mesh well with the other in my head so I guess it's multiple choice?)
>I'm not really sure, maybe the name of the head demon in charge? I was starting to suspect you guys got sent here as expendables to piss off Ellie for some sort of trap.They sent you into a house full of people that casually killed a Duke and that's not counting the extra guests. Ellie's started tearing her way through the princes now and maybe it's making them sweat? inb4 Ellie killed that demon already and this is a power play by a lower level to become the boss before she realizes she owns America.
>The way you guys were talking before makes me think I should be the one giving you information. The rats have been stockpiling all of that energy they get for something and I'm guessing it's gonna crash the spheres or something similarly apocalyptic. (You can thank me for the ones i've been stopping so far.) We actually got a way to rewrite out contracts without all of that nasty stuff but were trying to lay low for if an audit happened after we killed that Duke rather than risk the collateral damage and actually alerting them to what we're doing. Wanna start sharing info?
>You got some sort of wizarding curriculum? I was kind of thinking of letting the girls have proper magic lessons and I have a list of all of the books the rats have banned.
>How long till they actually do something? I have a girl to rescue from a godhood that is probably not all it's cracked up to be.
>How much of my house is bugged at this point?

>>2908336
lol

I should be starting back up once I manage to process some stuff.

>>2907860
This is why 'Dio' as the abbreviated nickname for Dionysus will always weird me out.
>>2908336
Is this the joke I think it is?

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>>2907817
"So how much of my house is bugged?" you ask.

"I don't have any," he says, "well, after someone slagged Reynold's," then glances at Mach, who still has sparks arcing from her head at intervals, like a human Tesla coil, "so that's why I brought insurance. Because I don't know who else might."

"You ever regret not hitting the altar with that Brazilian chick?" you ask him, and twitch your head, "I think she coulda been good for you, man. Just look what marriage did for me," you say, running your hand down Liska's back until it rests on her hip.

It's been a while. Does he remember the code? Granted, it was stupid stuff the two of you agreed on back when you both would have jumped at any job with an acronym agency.

Superfly sighs, and gives you a slight nod, "nah, I don't think it would have worked out. She just wanted citizenship, not me."

That means he thinks he can speak freely.

Mach gives him an odd look.

As far as you know, Superfly never even had a Brazilian girlfriend.

Closest he got was a Brazilian wax, when he was blackout drunk and the rest of the squad thought it would be hilarious. The mock funeral for his departed hair, conducted by several hungover men the next morning, was icing on the cake. Damn, what happened to those guys?

"Well that's too bad," you say, "how hard are your bosses panicking?"

"I'd say they're more than half-mast," Superfly tells you, which gets a giggle from Liska, and a barely-scandalized twitch of the lip from Mach, "there's something happening behind the scenes lately that's been tying them in knots. It seems a bit over my pay-grade, though."

"Is the name of your boss' boss' boss' - you get the picture," you say, "also over your pay grade?"

"Right now," Superfly says, then leans forward and says, "you know, it's interesting on this side. It takes a while for things to add up. Then you Mulder, or you Scully and get out."

He pauses, and the garage goes silent except for the periodic sparks across Mach's forehead.

"Hell, let's not play games here, Deuce," Superfly continues, "we don't have the time. You've built a magical faction with international contacts out of thin air. If you didn't shoot down those satellites, you know who did. Not sure what part your actually-not-dead sister has in all this, but I'm making some guesses. I'm not here as a suit. Can you get my girls better contracts?"

A spark arcs from Mach's forehead to a tube of the fluorescent light in the ceiling, and it blows, showering everyone in glass. So that's the hold they have on him.

Get him attached to the kids on his team, and use it against him. Maybe. His whole situation seems really screwed up. And you probably don't know the half.

>Depends on whether you're throwing in with me
>The problem is any rat audits
>What are the guys?
>Freebles, Supermax, we up for mass rewrites? If they didn't notice a goddess, we should be clear
>You miss the desert yet?
>No offense, but you're really suspicious
>WRITE IN

>>2910703
>>Yes. The problem is any rat audits, and that we'd have to do the contracts without your bosses knowing what happened.

>>2910703
>The problem is any rat audits
>Freebles, Supermax, we up for mass rewrites? If they didn't notice a goddess, we should be clear

>>2910720
Also this.

>>2910703
Backing these >>2910720
>>2910724

>>2910703
>>You miss the desert yet?
>sigh
>The problem is any rat audits
>Freebles, Supermax, we up for mass rewrites? If they didn't notice a goddess, we should be clear
I'm still super suspicious at the rat's lack of any sort of monitoring, but at this point it doesn't really matter. If Mary going divine didn't trip an alarm, nothing will.

>>2910703
>Freebles, Supermax, we up for mass rewrites? If they didn't notice a goddess, we should be clear
>Depends on whether you're throwing in with me

>>2910703

That was actually one of the main reasons i'd called a meeting.You didn't even have to ask. Every time I tried to try and ask you about that some random bullshit kept on happening.
We've actually had the ability for a few days but were trying to lie low and see what the reaction would be to us killing a duke. We've not tested them but we do theoretically have the ability to just rewrite em all from scratch.
Just be aware that the rat bosses are gonna be able to tell you fixed those the second they can actually see anyone and that might go for your bosses.
>Freebles, Supermax, we up for mass rewrites? We're gonna need more firepower to drag Mary out of the mess she made if she's kicking and screaming.
>I also want somebody to stand in as a lawyer/advocate for any girls getting a rewrite. I wanna get the new terms right the first time and get long term practice for whatever people might be considering doing that for a living. None of that let a girl sign up without her even knowing half of what's in there bullshit. We're doing this the nice and boring way.
>There something similar with the guys? If you've not even been around any wizards then simply being able to ask some like right now might help them out too.

>>2911070
>Supermax. What do you remember from before you were a rat and when you became one? I'm trying to track down where the hell the rats even came from but I have a small sample size

>>2910703
>The problem is any rat audits.

> But fuck yes dude. Hey, how much do you like your rat? I mean, if he's shitty and isn't willing to rewrite their contracts, honestly he would make a pretty good fall guy for Freebles. If he takes over their contracts, we're good.

> That being said, it might be your rat is just ignorant. You saw how he reacted to Freebles and my contract. Just in case you're wondering, I'm definitely the boss in this relationship, almost embarrassingly so. He's originally Japanese and keeps making everything Yakuza themed.

> Tirns out that the rats and their girls are also actively discouraged by threat of - well, they only have one threat - but yeah, they aren't supposed to talk to other wizards. Remember all those guys on boot that signed those leases on their Chargers saying they waived their right to legal representation? It's like that, so we're absofuckinglutely getting some expert opinions on this.

> Fair warning though, shit here is crazy. So keep that in mind before deciding how close you want to get tangled up if you got other obligations. If you need somewhere to run to, I won't turn you away. But so far tonight? On a scale of 1 - 10 for our BBQs this has been like a 4. 6 maybe depending on how our new Goddess is dealing.

> Also, so they know about Sachio huh? Good. Tell them that Sachio is our YOUNGER brother, and to check what that means with someone who knows Japanese culture. If they want to have us set up a talk with them as one supernatural government to another, we have his number so maybe they should give us theirs.

I would rather have Dutch and his team be plot facilitators instead of party members. Lend them out some of our people for stuff, be able to get some help with our Usurp the Rat God plan, have diplomatic status for dealing with Greek Gods, etc. Dionysus wants to fuck around, see how much he likes getting deported or having his vineyards shut down and fucking burned. Maybe have mandatory AA meetings in order to keep his citizenship.

>>2910784
>I'm still super suspicious at the rat's lack of any sort of monitoring,
He has a collar with runic shit on it.

>>2911106
>I would rather have Dutch and his team be plot facilitators instead of party members.
I specifically avoided that first option for that reason. They can work with us without needing to be permanent members.
>Lend them out some of our people for stuff,
Good idea. It'd be nice to be able to cut down on cast bloat.


>>2911115
Didn't Superfly's group put that on, not the rats?

>>2911147
Oh, i thought you meant Supermax, not their bosses.

>>2910703
To be fair, the rat audits are only really "are you making your quota".

So if peeps want to go fight in hell with us, cool. Otherwise we can probably sell them energy, or hook them up with Ellie who is murdering her way up the ranks of hell. We probably have more freedom than they do to get energy.

Maybe Mary can feed some back into them even to balance out Ellies Hell energy and we can get some sort of Celestial-Mortal-Demonic free trade agreement worked out.

They set up worshipers for Mary, she uses that celestial energy so Ellies toxic hell shit cools down, we sell them refined shit we get from Ellie, and everyone helps her kill demons!

>>2911169
>Maybe Mary can feed some back into them even to balance out Ellies Hell energy
Maybe superfly can benefit from ellie's excess energy. After all he is working for some alphabet organization.

>>2911219
Yeah that's what I meant. We get Ellie Energy, sell it to them to make their rat quota, and in exchange trade Ellie Mary's energy so that Ellie can calm the fuck down.

The Gov't can just promote worship of Mary or whatever so she has energy to trade.

>>2911115
There are some guesses I can make for monitoring us without some of our group noticing but I probably shouldn't give Haiku any ideas for once.
>>2911169
That sounds like it can go horribly wrong at some stage.

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>>2910703
"The problem is rat audits," you say, and you can feel Freebles nodding vigorously on your shoulder.

"So that's why you were asking earlier," Supermax says, poking his small furry head out of Superfly's pocket, "can someone catch me up on what happened while I was out?"

"Bigger fish to fry," Superfly tells him, "you doing ok?"

"If this isn't the bunker from the end of Dr. Strangelove," Supermax says, swarming up onto Superfly's shoulder, then looks at the car, the toolbench, and Mach's sparking head, "oh Hell, we're having an off-the-books conversation?"

"Yeah," Superfly mutters, "you square with him?" he asks, looking at Supermax, and then around the room.

"I'm fine," Freebles says.

"I don't feel like killing him anymore," Supermax says, "it's his territory. Goddamn animal instincts."

"You don't have to say that twice," Liska says, and puts her arm around you. You can feel her tails brush against your back.

"We'd be taking a big risk if we rewrite them," Freebles says.

"Yeah?" Supermax says, "and you didn't just take a huge risk when one of your girls became a goddess? Going by the manual, I'm pretty sure we're supposed to cut contract halfway through that, so they go berserk."

Another spark lashes out from Mach's head and bursts an entire double-tube fixture on the garage ceiling.

"If you haven't guessed," Freebles says, as glass fragments and mercury droplets rain down into the darkening garage, "I'm not exactly going by the manual here."

"I don't have to guess," Supermax says, cocking his head to the side, "I know. And it's not like I am either."

"Can you please not destroy ALL my lights?" you ask Mach.

...And you get a glare in response, as she takes a deep breath, sparks still nesting around her head, "this isn't as easy as it looks."

"You're making it look damn easy, kid," Superfly says, and pats her on the shoulder, then looks at you, "so, Deuce, considering you just flipped off anyone who cares, how about we go do right by our girls?"

...and there goes the last light.

You can feel Liska laughing silently against you.

"Mach," you hear Superfly say, with the clarity that only utter darkness gives to hearing, "you really need to work on that."

An actinic flare lights the garage for a second, and you hear your old partner muttering curses.

"If you trust your ferret," you say, "then let's get this show on the road."

"I trust you as far as I can throw you, Supermax," Superfly says, and you can hear his grin in the darkness, "but I can throw you pretty damn far. You in for this?"

"What's betraying them one more time?" Supermax asks, "I was supposed to kill myself if anyone collared me."

"Then I guess we're doing this," Superfly says, in a dark garage intermittently lit with sparks from an unstable teenager's forehead.

"That really messed up my fur, Mach," Supermax says, and you can only wonder what sort of static-induced monstrosity he looks like now.

[1/2]

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>>2911280
[2/2]

"Lick it back down, Sam," Mach tells him, "can I stop the interference now?"

"Please," Superfly says, "those sparks are going to give me a seizure."

"You two ferrets up for a mass rewrite?" you ask.

"Bro," Freebles says from your shoulder, "you know we were only holding off from fear. And we just gave my bosses the double middle fingers. There's no place for fear now."

"Let me," Supermax says, then you hear an odd slurping noise, "fix my hair first."

Liska laughs, and you're pretty sure her barking covers a few other people laughing at Supermax's predicament.

"So," Superfly says, a half-muffled laugh in his voice, "are all your barbeques like this?"

"I think it's a 4-6 out of ten?" you say, "depending on how thing are wherever Mary went."

"So having a god show is par for the course?" he asks, "wait a fucking second. I thought I recognized that guy from somewhere. That leave on Cyprus?"

"I don't remember most of that," you admit, "surprised you do," you say, and then it sinks in, "HE was there?"

"I think so," Superfly says, "I can't say I remember most of it myself. But he looked really familiar. So, rewriting contracts."

"Guess we're rewriting them all tonight," you say, "Freebles, does that take magical energy or something?"

"Some," he tells you, "but I can do all of ours, bro. How many can you you do, Supermax?" he asks.

"Only got two," the other ferret says, "I can handle it."

"I feel like we need some 'legal' advice for the girls on this - an advocate or something?" you say, "make sure they don't get screwed again, like the idiots that bought sports cars when we got out of basic."

You can feel Liska laughing silently again when you say 'screwed'.

"Makes sense," Superfly says, "but do we actually have anyone neutral enough to do that here?"

[NON-EXCLUSIVE CHOICE:]
>We have a duchess of Hell. Used to be a magical girl, even
>We have a dragon
>We have a priest
>We have tons of wizards
>We have a couple of witches
>Let's put this up to a council vote or something first
>WRITE IN

>>2911385
>We have a dragon

Dragons just love contracts. Especially with "eat you in the case of defaulting" clauses.

But seriously, we can just pay him to do it.

>>2911385
Is >ALL OF THE ABOVE a good idea?
I feel like it is.

Fuckit.
>ALL OF THE ABOVE

>>2911385
Whoooo! time to go full HAM!

>ALL OF THE ABOVE

>>2911385
>We have a demon of a police officer
>We have tons of wizards

>>2911385
>We have a dragon
>We have tons of wizards
>One magical girl that is almost as level headed as me.
>And another that has seen some serious shit.

The rest of them can come for the final draft, but i feel they will only hinder things.

>>2911398
Isn't Helie totally knocked out right now?

>>2911404
>Isn't Helie totally knocked out right now?
The Power Of Plot Compels You!
But seriously, good point. Kinda torpedoes that idea a little.

>>2911385
>>We have a dragon
>We have tons of wizards
Even if sis was inclined to help, she doesn't really strike we as a legalize-type.

>>2911404
>Implying we're not a master of the art of deciphering sibling sleep slurring

>QMC: "Sis! Do you think that this shit is whack!?"
>Sis: "SLRGIFRAGGIACOIUNT!" Translation(I do agree dear brother that this shit is whack)
>QMC: "SHE SAYS YES!"

>>2911444
I just read that translation as if it was made by a GPS voice and now im giggling in the middle of the night.

>>2911385
>I disagree about fear, it's because I'd rather be able to kill off as many as possible before they realize they're being attacked and I don't want collateral damage from us not being able to pick the arena.

>Hammer it out with everyone. It'll be a good lesson for if they have to try and give advice about a new contract for anyone else. The more people around the more people can see any possible flaws.
>First we make emergency contracts for if the killswitches go off on anyone. Nice and simple to read for anyone.simply to stave off what's happening so that a proper contract can be made.
Then we make our standard ones.
Then we work on any possible custom ones that could be required that we can think of.

>>2911531
On second thought i'll rewrite that.
It's not fear, it's caution. Those bastards have been the big bad evil in my life since i was a kid and I keep on expecting them to actually be competent. Instead it's the laziest piece of crap I've ever seen that should have been broken up by somebody other than me a dozen times over.