>>3049473
>Extra extra large board

>>3049473
Reeeeee continue the dog quest

>>3049481

You decide to play on the safe side this morning and grab the extra extra large board. Who cares about doing fancy flips and maneuvers, what you care about is staying on your feet above the waves and the extra extra large board provides you just that, a platform for your surfing needs.

You go to the beach and people are gazing at you, such a small man with such a large surf board but you don't pay them no mind. You're going to surf.

You put the board in the water and propel yourself forward paddling with your hands until you reach the point where the waves are crashing.

Once a wave crest start to form you prepare to surf it! You paddle towards it and get on your feet as it forms under you, your extra extra large board giving you plenty of stability to stay on top of the wave.

You surf several more waves until you begin to tire of paddling, your arms sore from the exercise, so you decide to call it a day.

You store your surfing board and go back home where your assignments of your computer science classes are waiting for you.

> Do bare minimum work on computer class assignments
> Do computer class assignments and recommended exercises too
> Postpone doing assignments and go shitpost on the internet instead
> Fap to forced feminization porn
> other

>>3049498
>Research how to capture and cook crabs

>>3049504

You decide to focus your hatred of crabs into the culinary arts and start researching how to capture and cook crabs.

You learn that you need crab traps and crab bait to capture the damn things, then you need to kill it, clean it and finally cook it.

It makes for a nice read and you spend the best part of the day reading the details on how to capture and cook crabs.

Then you go to sleep.

You wake up refreshed the next day.

What you wanna do?
> Go surf the waves
> Study some computer science
> Go apply for a fishing license to capture crabs
> Go buy crab traps and crab bait at the local fishing store
> other

>>3049511
>Buy some crab, make dinner

>>3049517

You go to the local market and buy some crab then return home with the crabs in a bucket to make dinner.

You kill the crabs like you saw on the guides in the internet, cleaned their guts and started cooking some crab.

Roll 1d100 to determine how good tasting the resulting cooked crab ended up

Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>3049524

>>3049532

You cook a pretty average dish of crab meat. It's nothing special but it fills you up good.

Maybe crabs aren't all that bad huh?

How did you feel killing all those crabs to make your dish?

> I felt elated murdering the damn things
> I felt bad for the crabs but better them than me
> I was on the verge of tears I don't know if I could do that again
> I felt nothing it was just another chore
> other

>>3049534
>other
I WANT TO MURDER THE DAMN THINGS MYSELF, thought dickweed completely disgusted by this painfully average meal. He knew the meal would taste 1 million times better if he killed those Brachyura he deemed "fucking disgusting"

>>3049545
Your lust for murdering dem Brachyura cannot be sated with a single serving of crabs for a painfully average meal oh no. You wanna murder more crabs!

But how are you going to fulfill this aspiration?
> Buy another bucket of crabs and prepare another crab meal tomorrow
> Apply to work on a crab processing plant see if you can get the crab killing position
> Go apply for a fishing license to capture crabs
> Go buy crab traps and crab bait at the local fishing store
> other

>>3049555
> Go buy crab traps and crab bait at the local fishing store

>>3049555
> Go buy crab traps and crab bait at the local fishing store

>>3049565
>>3049582


Dickweed decides to go buy some crab traps and crab bait at the local fishing store.

Arriving there he meets a man named Dave, who works at the fishing store. Dickweed chats with Dave for awhile about catching crabs, the best times and places to spring the traps and the best baits to use.
Dave then asks why did you decide to get into capturing crabs.
> Tell Dave about your hatred for crabs
> Tell Dave you like eating crab so you wanted to capture your own
> Tell Dave you wanna make some extra money selling crabs
> Tell Dave you wanna make a living hunting crabs
> other

>>3049587
"Reasons"

>>3049587
>They tasty, wanna catch some crabs some time?

>>3049599
>>3049612

At first you're all like "I wanna catch them for reasons."

Dave is like "It's cool man, you don't need to tell me if you don't want to."

Then you open up a bit and say "They tasty. Wanna castch some crabs some time?"

Dave says "I don't have time for that. I'm a tuna fishing enthusiast myself. Do you have a boat? The crab trapping spots in the shore might get a bit crowded, you could avoid the crowd if you went for the high seas crabs."

"No, I don't have a boat.", says Dickweed.

"A shame. As you progress in your seafaring hobbies you'll figure out that having a boat makes things easier, kinda like having a car but for the seas. You could always rent one."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Then you take your crab traps and baits and leave the fishing store.

What you wanna do next?
> Go hunt some crabs in the shore
> Go study computer science
> Go surfing in the sea
> Go masturbate to BDSM porn
> other

>>3049624
>Masturbate to BDSM crab porn

>>3049624
>Go surfing in the sea

>>3049905
>>3053350

You masturbate to some BDSM crab porn that you found in a sketchy site to release tension, the imagery of the dude hatefucking the sub crab causing you a weird kind of release.

Then you hit the waves. The beach is bursting with activity, lots of new faces and plenty of young people surfing.

Which surfboard will you use this time?
> Might as well keep using the extra extra large one.
> Extra large board, hard to turn but it's stable as fuck
> Large board, not the most maneuverable but it's easy to stay on top of it
> Small board, very maneuverable but hard to stay on top of it
> Tiny board, the slightest movement sends you flying in whichever direction you happen to be facing, extraordinarily difficult to stay on top of it though
> other

>>3053361
>Small board

>>3053361
>Tiny board

Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>3053412
>>3053416

>>3053412
>>3053416
>>3053425


You take the tiny board and start attempting some crazy maneuvers on the waves.

Roll 1d100 for successfully pulling crazy maneuvers

>>3053430
roll

Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>3053430
LET'S GET RADICAL
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaSoAag5xyc

>>3053433
>>3053434

The tiny surfboard is a difficult piece of surfing equipment to master. You tried all day to surf using it but you kept flying flat in your face, barely being able to equilibrate yourself on top of it.

After a day of shameful failure after shameful failure trying to master the tiny board you head home with your whole body all sore and tired.

You fall asleep easily.

You're well rested the next day.

What do you wanna do?
> Go surf the waves
> Go hunt some crabs
> Stay home and study some computer science
> Stay home and masturbate to lesbian porn
> other

>>3053459
> Go hunt some crab

>>3053491

Dickweed goes to the shore and lays his crabtraps with crab bait and wait for the crabs to enter it. After the traps are in place there's not much to do but wait so he keeps playing crab killing games on his phone in the mean time.

By the end of the day he manages to capture several crabs in his traps! What do you want to do with the crabs?
> Release them back into nature the little shits
> Bring them home and cook them to eat
> Sell them at the local market
> Just kill them and leave their corpses on the shore for the fish
> other

>>3053503
> other
bring them home and put one on dickweeds dick and kill the other crabs in creative ways

>>3053523

Dickweed decides to kill the crabs in creative ways.

He burns one crab with a magnifying glass, duct tapes another one to a ball and keeps tossing it until the crab is dead, rips off the crabs limbs one by one and watch it bleed out, freeze another crab, tie a crab to a bunch of balloons and set it free to fly away hopefully to die falling from very high...

Then the last crab Dickweed puts on his dick. The crab tries to pinch his pecker but Dickweed restrain the crab with some duct tape. Dickweed then humps the crab until he gets his satisfaction. Should Dickweed kill the last crab?

It's night.

What will Dickweed do next?
> Just go to sleep, tomorrow will be a new day
> Go hunt some more crabs
> Study computer science
> Steal panties around the neighbourhood
> other

>>3053553
> other
fap to crab porn

>>3053556

Dickweed browses the internet and finds some more crab porn and starts masturbating to it furiously.

Once he's done with it he goes to sleep.

The next day he wakes up well rested.

The last crab lies still restrained near him, covered in his bodily fluids. Should Dickweed kill and dispose of the last crab?

Also what will dickweed do next?
> Go surfing
> Go study computer science
> Go hunt crabs
> Go hiking in the woods
> other

>>3053563
> other
Threaten the crab into doing the computer science assignments. It knows what Dickweed is capable of.

>>3053606

Dickweed attempts to threaten the crab into doing his computer science assignments.

However it is merely a crab, it is incapable of doing your computer science assignments. If you want them done you'll have to do them yourself.

What will Dickweed do next?
> Go surfing
> Go study computer science
> Go hunt crabs
> Go hiking in the woods
> other

>>3053623
> other
go to the nude beach and start masterbaiting while ranting about crabs

>>3053675

Dickweed goes to the nude beach and starts masturbating furiously while ranting about crabs.

The other nude beach attendees are horrified at his behavior and call the nude beach security.

The beach security escorts him out telling him it's against the nude beach policies to masturbate in there. He's banned from the nude beach for a month.

What will Dickweed do next?
> Go surfing
> Go study computer science
> Go hunt crabs
> Go hiking in the woods
> other

>>3053689
>go hiking

>>3053714

You decide to go hiking in the woods.

The woods. Free from any crabs. You spend a quiet afternoon pitching a tent then you make a fire and roast some marshmallow by the fire.

It's a bit lonely going hiking by yourself though. You wish you had some friends to go hiking with.

You sleep in your tent and wake up well rested the following day.

When you get out of your tent you see a bear rummaging through your stuff looking for food!
What do you do?

> Grab your signal flare and shoot at the bear
> Punch the bear in the face and shoo it away
> Play dead it always works in the movies
> Open your food containers and surrender your food to the mighty bear
> other

>>3053742
PUNCH
THE
BEAR

>>3053748

Dickweed don't hesitate for a second and punch the bear!

Roll 1d100 for effectiveness of your punch

>>3053754
ROLL

>>3053757

hey don't just yell roll, actually roll the dice

put dice+1d100 in the options field

Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>3053762

>>3053797

You punch the bear in the face. It seems flabergasted for a moment but then it roars in your face and you shit your pants. You hide inside your tent and pray that the bear doesn't hold a grudge from the whole punching him in the face thing.

The bear fails to open your containers of food and eventually leaves your camp.

You pack up your stuff and leave back to your home.

You sleep at your bed. The last crab is still alive. Should you kill it?

What do you wanna do next?
> Go surfing
> Go study computer science
> Go hunt crabs
> Go climb a mountain
> other

>>3053819
flush the last crab down the toilet and go to sleep

>>3053849

Dickweed flushes the last crab down the toilet and sleeps some more.

The following day he wakes up well rested.

What do you wanna do next?
> Go surfing
> Go study computer science
> Go hunt crabs
> Go climb a mountain
> other

>>3053859
Go hunt Crabs

>>3053877

Dickweed lays his crab traps with the remainder of his crab bait and waits by the shore. After several hours the crab traps are full of crabs!

What do you wanna do with the crabs?
> Release them back into nature
> Bring them home and cook them to eat
> Sell them at the local market
> Just kill them and leave their corpses on the shore for the fish
> other

>>3053892
>other
start fucking the crabs to death one by one right there on the beach

>>3053939

There are other people around you could get in trouble with the law are you sure?

If you're sure roll 1d100 to see if you can get away with fucking crabs to death in the beach while people watch it horrorized

otherwise pick something else to do

Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>3053949
i will take my chances

>>3053955

You pull your dick out and start fucking the crabs to death one by one.

You're out of luck though, one of the horrorized bystanders called the cops and they catch you with your dick in your hand fucking the corpse of a crab in broad daylight.

They're unsure whether to take you to jail or to a mental institution. After some discussion they decide to take you to the comissary.

As you arrive at the police station they take your fingerprints and your mugshot then they interrogate you about why were you fucking crabs to death in broad daylight. You're unable to provide an intelligible answer other than you hate crabs so much you literally wanna fuck them to death.

After being interrogated by the cops a couple times you're brought in the presence of the commisary. He asks you whether you're intending to plead insanity for the judge since you're going to be in for indecent exposure.

> Tell him you want a lawyer
> Tell him you want to plead temporary insanity
> Tell him fucking crabs is not insanity it's the best thing ever he should try it sometime
> Tell him to fuck off you're Dickweed you can do whatever the fuck you want
> other

>>3053979
>Tell him fucking crabs is not insanity it's the best thing ever he should try it sometime

>>3054031

Dickweed tells the comissary that fucking crabs is not insanity it is the best thing ever and he should try it sometime.

The comissary have Dickweed committed to the psychiatric ward of the local hospital for the criminally insane. He's evaluated by the shrinks and surely enough they figure out that there's something very wrong with Dickweed's head.

Dickweed is locked in a padded cell until judgement day when he's considered guilty and his sentence suspended due to his insanity so long as he is being treated. Dickweed is then locked and taken care of by the people of the psych ward for the following years. Try as he might to appear sane enough to leave the psych ward the shrinks simply don't let him get off the hook, medicating him ever more heavily until he's a husk of his former self.

Dickweed end his days in the psych ward, painting crabs in the art room and being heavily drugged by his caretakers.

Thus ends the tale of Dickweed the small man of the waves...

*** BAD END ***

You killed 18 crabs
You fucked 5 crabs
You ate 6 crabs
You punched a bear in the face
You masturbated three times
You went surfing two times

File: tegaki.png (12 KB, 400x400)

12 KB PNG

>>3054165
fuck rip dickwead