After fighting Kale and subsequently re-awakening her latent Super Saiyan powers you were knocked out cold.
For an entire day you rested in a dreamless sleep, trying desperately to forget the things that troubled your mind.
Once you recovered your energy your eyes snapped open and you found yourself in your room.

Sitting up you grab your head, trying to recall the events that transpired before you were KO'd.
The horrors of Planet Plant though still fresh on your mind now feel more like bad dreams rather than reality. Were it not for the Tuffle twins hanging out on this very planet you'd easily write them off as works of your imagination.
But they are real, as real as the pain you feel in your gut.

"Man Kale...
Ooof..."

Still groggy you get out of bed and walk out into the hallway without a shirt on.
Navigating your way to the kitchen you start brewing yourself a nice, strong coffee to kickstart your day with.
As you're pouring out the inky, black goodness your mentor steps into the room and greets you.

"Good morning.
How did you sleep?"

"Like someone who got shot in the head.
Speaking of which... did you get the license plate of the truck that hit me?"

"I don't follow...
But on the bright side I'm happy to inform you that your little spar with Kale has been successful!"

You pause as you are about to add sugar to your coffee and stare at her.
"Really?"

"Yes! It seems the intensity of your battle was enough to evoke strong enough emotions within her!
Congratulations. Though if we're being honest that would've happened on its own regardless.
You just accelerated it."

"Well at least I helped."
You slurp some precious lifeblood and feel energy returning to your body.
"Ahhh... that's better!
So. How are things?"

"Good I'd say.
Not much has happened while you were out of commission.
Though if I remember correctly some people asked quite frequently about your status."

Vados then goes over a list of individuals that apparently had urgent business with you.
Caulifla, whose fire has been rekindled after witnessing Kale transform. Hyssop who's been growing restless about the status of his family. And finally the twins that had nothing to do while the only person they are somewhat familiar with was out cold.

You take one more sip while weighing your options.

>I guess if I don't deal with Caulifla now I'll regret it soon enough
>I made a promise to Hyssop... He deserves my attention the most
>Aw shit... I'm responsible for those two aren't I?
>Other?

>>3282563
>I made a promise to Hyssop... He deserves my attention the most

>>3282563
>Alright, maybe I can deal with multiple things at once...
>I'll pick up the twins, and then go see Hyssop. That way they won't be bored, at least.

>>3282571
Support.

>>3282563
>I guess if I don't deal with Caulifla now I'll regret it soon enough
Must romance the Kefla. Also we tend to grow stronger by fighting.

>>3282571
This

>>3282580
That can probably wait, the Twins and Hyssop are cases we should probably prioritize more than Caulifla wanting to beat us up until she goes Super.

>>3282563

>>3282571
This

Well that's certainly an... interesting combination...
But it could work

>writing

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Giving your neck a good morning crack you think through your options and conclude that no matter what you do, you shouldn't leave the twins alone. Even if it's just trailing you at least then they'll have something to occupy themselves with.

"Hey Vados. Where are Oren and Kamin?"

"You named them already? How cute.
Anyway they are near the garden, watching the people from Universe 9 tend to it."

"Wow. That bad huh?"

"I'm afraid so.
They don't seem to have a grasp on the concept of "free time" so they are clueless as to what to do."

"Those two are gonna need a hobby...
Hang on! I think I got something..."
You rush back to your room and grab one of your old belongings you brought with you.
You'll definitely notice its absence when cooking but sometimes you must make sacrifices.
Coming back to Vados you start questioning her about some other stuff.
"So Vados.
Could I ask a favor from you?"

"Hmmm?"

You explain the situation to her and what you want. When you finish she just lets out a sigh.
"Fine... But it'll cost you."

"When we're done we'll drink some wine.
How's that sound?"

"You got yourself a deal!"
She smiles.

Putting a shirt on you head out and approach the two kids standing underneath a tree, watching the others work.
"Enjoying yourselves?"

"No..."
Kamin responds.

"There's nothing to do."
Oren continues.

"If there were things to do...
Would you even know how to enjoy them?"

They exchange a quick look and then respond simultaneously.
"No..."

"Thought so.
How about this? I got something to take care of.
It's bound to be more interesting than... this. And if you come with, you'll get a present."

"Pre...sent?"

"Jeez... I can't believe I'll have to teach you "fun".
Maybe on Earth..."

"E-yarth?"

"No, Earth. Eaaaarth.
Anyway. Do we have a deal?"
They nod.
"Good."
You step over and ruffle their hair.

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With that dealt with you head over to Hyssop who's currently tending to the tomatoes with his oversized mittens, so he doesn't freeze the delicate fruits by accident. Stopping his work he looks up when he notices you.

"Oh... you're back.
Did you manage to recover?"

"More or less."

"That's good to hear...
I have no clue why you keep throwing yourself into danger...
We faced the threat of Destruction just to get away from conflict, yet you seem to seek it."

You shrug.
"I think it's fun.
But I have the luxury of choosing. So I understand your confusion.
Anyway, I heard from Vados that you've been asking for me."
You give the walking block of ice a smile.
"Don't worry I haven't forgotten about you.
I asked Vados and apparently there is a way to get you your wish.
There is some backwater planet named Namek where there are wishing orbs."

"The Super Dragon Balls?"
He asks.

"I don't know if they are super or not but sure.
According to Vados they should do the job and I trust her knowledge."

"T-Thank you Eric...
I truly appreciate it."

"Don't mention it.
I promised you after all.
Now I'll just need to know who are we talking about."

"My wife and my son..."

"Are... they alive?"

"I don't know. Were it possible I'd like them to be wished here."

"A'ight.
I'll see what I can do-"

"Wait!"
Hyssop stops you.
"W-Would it be possible for me to come with?"

>Sure
>I don't think that's a good idea
>Other?

>>3282662
>Sure

>>3282662
>Sure
what's Namek without at least one person who's duty there is effectively just spectate.
Like Bulma!
Why did they bring Bulma?

>>3282662
>Other

Ask her why. Not opposed to taking her along, but I’m curious as to why she wants to tag along.

>>3282662
>>Sure

>>3282670
Hyssop is the ice guy, anon.
Sorrel is bunny.
Hop is the cat.

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>>3282673
Guess that’s what happens when I try to quest first thing in the morning.

>>Sure

If the Namekian dragonballs are similar to u7 that's 3 wishes.
Now it's possible we'll need all 3 (rez both and warp them)
Or possible we'll only need to warp them.
There's also the fact that the Namekians might want to use a wish to defuse.
We might possibly have a spare wish, now what would we wish for?
Restore Planet Plant?
Attempt Kefla plan?
Immortality?

So... the Thing is tagging along

>writing

>>3282702
I'd say kefla, or the ability to absorb energy [magic, ki etc.]

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"Sure. I don't see a reason why you couldn't tag along."

"Oh thank you!
It's just that... if it works out.
I wouldn't want to miss them. When they arrive I want to be there to comfort them and explain things...
You know..."

"Yeah, I get it.
Now come on or Vados will get mad."

As you line up and the others touch your shoulder while you hold onto Vados.
"Please make sure you hold onto your partners tightly and refrain from leaving the channel as the coldness of space can be quite uncomfortable."

Taking off in a pillar of light you find yourselves traveling through the cosmos once more.
"I'll never get tired of this!"
You observe and reach into your pockets.
"Here."
You give your present to the two droids.

"What is this? Some sort of a communicator?"

"No. It's a device used to store music on.
If you plug those dangly bits in your ears you can listen to them.
I have a couple hundred songs on there so you can browse to your hearts content.
But uh... I only have the one. So you'll have to share until I get the chance to buy another."

They put in the earplugs and cautiously start fiddling with the mp3 player until they accidentally start a song and they recoil in shock. Worried you reach forward and tune it down a bit for them.
"Make sure it's not too loud or it can hurt your ears."

Just as you finally land on the blue planet with the green sky they manage to figure out all the quirks of the device and start enjoying themselves once they find some music they like. The locals around you stare in awe and confusion as a bunch of random aliens show up on their planet before Vados walks up to them and they all bow before her.

"Mistress Vados..."
One of the green men speaks up.
"You honor us with your presence!
How may we serve you?"

"I thank you for your hospitality dear Namekians but I'm afraid it's not me you are concerned with.
I'm just the driver so to speak."
Vados points to you and introduces you.
"Gentlemen this person here is an associate of mine and he wishes to speak with you."

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Stepping forward you look over the denizens of this "Namek".
They appear to be all male at first glance and possess both green skin and antennae sticking out of their foreheads.
To your surprise they are also... remarkably young. Most of them don't appear to have reached adolescence yet and those few who appear to be mature are old, really old.

One such specimen, a rather wrinkly and short Namekian steps up to you.
"Welcome stranger.
I am Guit, the leader of this village."

You give the man a little bow before introducing yourself.
"My name is Eric. I come from a far away planet called Earth and I've come to request your help."
The green man raises his eyebrow upon hearing this.
"I heard you people have these things called Dragon Balls and I need to use them."

The village elder shuts his eyes and sighs.
"Please... follow me."
He turns around and leads you into a strange and white house which appears to be as Spartan as it gets with little to no furniture or any sort of decoration to speak of except for a table. He walks behind it and leans on the thick marble like material.
"We don't like to speak of the Dragon Balls to outsiders, much less allow them to use it...
You see they wield incredible power and with it comes unimaginable responsibility.
But since you came here with Lady Vados we have no choice but to comply."

"I don't want to force the issue... if you feel threatened-"

"No... that's not it stranger.
I don't need to hear your apology or your reason for needing the Dragon Balls. We'll give you your chance so don't feel guilty about it. But you must understand that we won't just give them to you. That'd be incredibly irresponsible of us, not to mention how insulting it'd be to our ancestors and traditions."

You nod.
"I understand."

The elder sighs.
"Let me explain...
In each major village we have one Dragon Ball, seven in total.
And each of those has a trial associated with it which test the users in both body, mind and spirit.
When a young Namekian reaches adulthood they must undertake and pass one of these tests to be recognized as mature.
Some fail their tests and so they set out to try their luck with another. When they pass they get the right to hold that Ball.
But only those very few, exceptional individuals of great might and purity can pass all the trials and summon the Dragon as a reward."

"So I must prove my worth if I'd like to use them."

"That is correct.
And I can not lie, it's a rare occurrence for one of our people to summon the Dragon.
An outsider will have even less of a chance. But this is a security measure we must follow for the Dragon Balls have the power to deliver us into a new golden age... but also to destroy us.
So... Are you ready for your first test?"

>Yes!
>Can I ask others for help?
>No...
>Other?

>>3282790
>Yes!

>>3282790
>Can I ask others for help?
We wouldn’t be so crass as to ask Vados to participate directly, but it seems proper to see if Hyssop could be allowed to contribute since we are making the wish on his behalf.

>>3282790
>Yes!
>What sort of trials are we talking here? Am I going to need to beat some of your warriors up, or solve a riddle, or what?

He said they test body, spirit and mind, but that’s vague as hell.

>>3282790
>Yes!

>>3282790
>Yes
>Are there any rules I should know about?

>>3282790
>Yes!

>>3282796
Support. Eric and him as it's for him the twins could get some impro lessons in their history or something if they don't want watch the tests.

Okay

>writing

"May I ask some questions first?"

"Of course..."
He nods.
"But know that depending on the question itself I may or may not be able to answer it."

"Well first... What kind of trials are we talking about?
Do I have to fight your strongest warriors, solve some puzzles or-"

"I can't say. For if I disclosed them to you it'd defeat their purpose.
Similarly you'll find no Namekian on this planet who'll tell you."

"Thought so... The other big one on my mind is this: Can I ask someone for help?
The wish is not for me but for him."

"Then why doesn't he do it?"

"He's afraid he wouldn't be able to complete your trials so he asked me.
But it's his wish and I feel like he should be able to participate."

"Well..."
The elder thinks for a moment with his finger on his chin.
"It's not unheard of that more than two people would work together in order to gather the balls.
However I must warn you... if such a thing happens and your friend contributes even one ball then as per tradition you won't be allowed to make a wish unless both of you agree to it.
Is that alright with you?"
You nod.
"Then by all means go ahead.
However I'd like to begin the first trial immediately if it's okay with you."

"Of course."

The elder takes a moment to think with his eyes closed. The tension in the room rises as he remains silent for several minutes before opening his eyes.
"Normally this trial would be a little different but considering your... unusual circumstances we'll have to alter it a bit.
Please. May I see your hands?"

Not sure how to react to that you blindly follow the Namekians instructions and extend both your hands over the table.
He grabs them with his long nailed fingers and turns them upside down as if he's trying to read your palm.
Holding onto them tightly he gives you a most intense look and speaks up.
"Usually at this point I'd ask the participant what they'd wish for... But since you're doing this for someone else I'll ask this:
If your circumstances were different... if you could have a wish all to yourself, what would it be?"

>Write-in

>>3282863
>>Give him a rundown about the Kelfa thing, and explain you would wish her to permanently exist as her own separate person, she doesn’t deserve Nothingness.

>>Hmm... If I had one it probably would be for teleportation technique. As it is Vados is my only way to move quickly across space and I fell like I'm imposing on her every time.

>>3282870
Support

>>3282863
>The ability to heal ourselves and others of any injury or illness
The Kefla thing is impossible with a limited wish, remember?

Actually I'll switch >>3282873
to
>>3282871
Makes more sense IC.

>>3282870
Oh shit, Is It time? Sure why not, It's a selfless wish. Technically Inb4 that's beyond the dragons power, we need the super dragonballs

>>3282870
Support
>>3282873
IC we don't know about the dragon balls limitations.

>>3282871
Support

>>3282863

>>3282871
This

>>3282873
That’s not what’s being asked and that limit isn’t something we know about IC. We were asked what we would do with our own wish and Erik would definitely spend a Wish on Kelfa before a movement technique.

>>3282890
On an other hand I like to aim for something that's actually reachable. Besides newer really agreed with that wish anyways as neither fued person or the fusion really gave damn.

>>3282894
Yea never really saw it as something other than meme. Not gonna go for that.

>>3282870
Support

>>3282871
Supporting.

>>3282890
It was funny but not even the actual characters care, the fusion thing isn't a big deal.
>>3282871
Support

I'd like to do the Kefla thing after we've actually interacted with her for more than a single hour.
And have a legit motivation to wishing for that.

I think Eric cares cause he got emotional at one point, but vote for what you will

>>3282871
Supporting

Honestly, the Kefla thing is pure Waifu at this point. Seems like something Eric would talk to Kale, Caulifla & Kefla about before that came to mind as a wish.

...i don't mean to be that guy, and I'm sure the teleporting is still winning, but anyone else notice the sudden influx of players appearing?

>>3282916
Yeah that's what I'm thinking, we felt empathy that she'd somewhat cease to exist but a wish like that is a meme until we actually have cause to make it other than waifu.

>>3282919
Lurkers who got a motivation to vote, mostly. S'what I am most of the time.

>>3282919
Yes it's questionable.
It appears I left for too long.
No matter as you've pointed it out Kefla lost anyway. But barely.

Regardless...
>writing

>>3282919
It's a vote about waifu vs (somthing) no duh lurkers will vote.

>>3282863
>>3282871
Support, teleportation can synergize well with time stop.

>>3282919
It's the morning, I'm at work
Give me a break here man, quest start at 8 am for Christ sake

>>3282870
Supporting

>>3282941
>>3282930
The votes closed you guys are too late.

The funniest thing is the 11 minute silence before "...Kefla?" And then there was just an explosion.
I do want to give her her chance though. Just we don't know her well enough just yet to make it our driving motive.

Forget about Kefla, Vados is the best waifu and we can use the wish from the Super Dragon Balls for something else, like omniversal peace, or absolute immortality, or a sandwich (the bestest sandwich)

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>>3282924
>>3282928

He should have teched into detectors sooner. A classic mid-game blunder.

>>3282945
Not making the best sandwich ourselves.
>Dragon I wish for the best sandwich!
>Your wish is granted.
Our own sandwich teleports from our ship to our hand. We look at it huh I guess I do make the best sandwiches.

>>3282945
>Absolute Immortality
I think this prevents you from ever getting any stronger.
>Omniversal Peace
Removing free will from all existence?
>a sandwich
We're already one of the best chefs in the multiverse by virtue of being human.

You think about it for a moment and finally speak up.
"Well... A teleportation technique would be nice.
I always have to ask Vados and I'm starting to feel like I'm imposing on her."

"Hmmmm..."
The elder shuts his eyes and starts thinking.
Finally he lets go of your hand with a sigh.
"Well you answered genuinely. And though selfish at first glance your wish does stem from selflessness.
But even with that I'm afraid I can not give you the Dragon Ball."

"What?"
You ask him.
"M-May I know why?"

"I asked what you'd wish for.
And what you gave me felt like something you just came up with, not something you truly wish for from the bottom of your heart. I'm sorry but I can not condone something that would be a grave misuse of the dragons power."

You stand up and take your leave.
"Thank you elder."

"I'm sorry. Please send in your friend."

Leaving the place empty handed Hyssop charges you and starts bombarding you with questions.
"How did it go?"

"I didn't get the ball."

"Wha-"

You point at the building.
"The elder asked for you next.
Go ahead and give it a try."

"I-I'm afraid... if you failed in that then I have no chance..."

Giving him a cocky grin you pat him on the back and start shoving him inside.
"It'll be fiiiine! Go on in!"

As Hyssop enters Vados approaches you.
"So... what was the matter?"

"Apparently my wish was a bit wishy washy.
Hyssop has his whole family thing going on. He should get it no problem."

"Hmmm... How did he exactly phrase his question?"

"Let's see... it was... "If I had a wish, what would it be" or something.
I don't know. I just asked for a teleport technique."

"Yes. That checks out.
Well, better keep that in mind for the next ones."
And just as Vados finished that Hyssop came out of the tent with the ball in his hand.

>>3282956
Well, that went about as expected. Guess we can let Hyssop do all the “Noble intentions” stuff while we beat up anybody that needs beating up and solve any mind puzzles.

>>3282956
It just occured to me that "I don't know" was a valid answer, and probably would've had a better chance of us passing.

>>3282965
We could probably have gone with unruining planet plant, in hindsight.
I'd like to see Kefla again before going full madman though.

>>3282956
Ha! So the Kefla wish would've worked, because we actually considered It earlier IC.

>>3282974
Yes. That would've been a valid answer

>>3282974
Good thing we asked for Hyssop to participate too.

>>3282978
Shugs still a meme. This is about right tho as this isn't really for us.

So are we going to use one of the wishes for a teleport technique later? If so then would the technique be ki based or psychic based?

>>3282988
No anon that was just us trying to think of a wish, we can learn teleportation naturally eventually.
Unironically a more in character wish would be something related to Kefla or Planet Plant.
Planet Plant fucked Eric up.

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"Holy shit! That's massive!"
You look at the watermelon sized crystal ball with a single star in it.

"Erm... now what?"
Hyssop asks.
"He just asked me what I'd wish for and he gave me this."

"Now we go to the second village.
Vados?"

She looks into the orb on her scepter then points you in a direction.
"It's 500 kilometers that way."

Following her instructions you find the next village where the next Dragon Ball is located and almost immediately you notice something different about this place as one Namekian rushes to Vados.
"Lady Vados!"
The buff Namekian bows before her.

"Oh Pirina! Long time no see!
How is it?"

"Good, all things considered.
Saonel and I are... working on repopulating planet Namek.
Many of our brethren are already reborn but... many more remain.
And all those eggs are taking a toll on us."

"Wait... eggs?
Repopulating?!"
You ask him and Vados.

"The Namekians reproduce asexually. They do this by regurgitating eggs.
Another quirk of their life cycle is that Namekians are capable of fusing with one another, thus exponentially increasing their abilities."

"And once we are done we can... "give birth" to those we assimilated.
If we so choose. The downside is that we loose the power we gained."

"Weird...
Anyway, we're here for the Dragon Balls.
Show them Hyssop."

The gentle giant raises his big orb and the Namekian freezes in place.
"I-Incredible! You managed to get one?
Hmmm... Very well. Follow me."

Pirina then leads you on top of a plateau, far away from the village.
"Since we're short on elders I'll be the one to handle your test.
This is a sacred area for my people and this is where your trial will take place.
The trial of pain!"
He gives Hyssop a sharp look.
"Take all the time you need. Then, if you're ready come here."

Hyssop looks worried.

>Actually, I'll be doing that
>Nah he got this
>Other?

>>3282943
See the biggest problem with that is she doesn't seem to actually care at all. You have to remember she's a fusion, she doesn't just not exist, she's just two existences. Neither Kefla, nor the two people who make her up seem to mind the splits and fusions. If they don't care then we're just empathizing feelings on Kefla that she doesn't actually have. Plus a wish would either
A) just make a clone
B) force a fusion on them
And cause trouble for the people anons want to "help" for the sake of waifus. Don't get me wrong, Kefla is top tier but closest you're getting to a legitimate kefla route is probably a threeway relationship with Caulifa and Kale. Ironically that actually seems like it would be easier than trying to waifu just one, if that's any consolation

>>3283013
>Actually I'll be doing that
Bring on the pain, it only makes me stronger.

>>3283013
>Actually, I'll be doing that
If we lose Hyysop can try, no real downside

>>3283016
Another option is seeing if we can join or find the Time Patrol.
Mostly because Chronoa apparently has a technique that allows fusions to stay together for as long as they want.

>>3283025
That could help, that technique would still probably require being in a relationship with both and fusing/unfusing all the time, so same thing mostly. It would still be cool to learn that, and more advanced time abilities from the Kai whose bread and butter is time.

>>3283016
Technically:
"According to Vados, the fusion creates a new body and personality greater than the sum of the two individuals"

Emphasis on the personality.
So yes, de-fusion does technically mean Kefla ceases to exist. But at the same time technically she doesn't since she goes back to being Caulifla and Kale. Fusion is fucky

>>3283013
>Actually, I'll be doing that
He’s either going to thrash us or summon a phantom of Gordon Ramsey to berate us for what seems to be an eternity.

>Actually, I'll be doing that
We are expert on hiting way over our head in fights.unless it's just taking pain in which case we are descent.

>>3283013
>Actually, I'll be doing that

>>3283024
Support

>>3283036
"ERIC, FOR FUCKS SAKE! WHERE THE FUCK IS THE LAMB SAUCE?!"
Truly, a more terrifying visage than even a God of Destruction.

Here comes the pain train!

Roll the dice!
Best of 4
DC: 15 no crit

>writing

Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>3283052

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>3283052
Oh no

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>3283052
Rngeesus.. t-take... the wheel?

>>3283043
"Will Majin Ramsay finally get his lamb sauce? Or will he kill all of his chefs in his fit of villainous rage? Find out on the next episode of Hells Kitchen Z!"

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>3283052

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>3283052
Sorry wrong dice.

>>3283056
It seems we either barely scrape by or win immensely.

>>3283053
This d100 roll for d20 dc brought to you from the parallel timeline where we inexplicably learn how to use Ultra Instinct here.

>>3283073
I embarrassed enough as is guys.

"Actually I'll be taking this test. Not him."

The Namekian gives you a doubtful look.
"Are you sure? You know what that-"

"Yes, yes. The last guy told me.
So come on! Give it to me."

*sigh*
"Very well.
Come here."

Doing as you're instructed you walk up to the spot where the soil is purple for some reason and Pirina continues with the instructions.
"Okay. Now I'll need you to take off your shirt and place both hands on your nape."
Doing as you're told you don't even question why he wants you to strip. You have a pretty good idea as is.
Once you're finished the Namekian cracks his knuckles and spreads his fingers apart, allowing his nails to flash for a moment.
"Just so you know... I take no pleasure in this.
Now... grit your teeth."

Steeling yourself you prepare for the worst. And boy do you get it.
You are instructed by your examiner that you'll need to not move an inch and withstand everything he tosses at you without screaming while he proceeds to use his claws to cut into you and rip out parts of your flesh.
Each swipe brings a fresh new hell for you to experience as more of your muscles are exposed to air.

The Namekian continues to flay you alive for a decent amount of time, specifically until he scratched you a hundred times over. When he's done Pirina takes a step back with his claws stained red from your blood and asks this.
"Are you okay?"

You just crack a vicious smile and reply.
"Got another one in ya?"

"Heh...
You know when I felt that your skin is not as tough as ours I thought about holding back...
But it seems like you handled it well. Very well! You pass! Now come, we'll get one of the dragon clan to heal you up."

>>3283082
Holy shit that's hardcore

>>3283082
Universe 7 Namekians got fucking nothing on Universe 6, holy shit

>>3283086
Namekians man, dont let the peaceful civilization fool you, the fuckers are strong

>>3283088
We haven't seen their tests but yeah U6 has the stronger champions. At least for now until they spit out everyone that fused after that who knows?

>>3283095
Don't count the pickle monster as their champion as he spends all his time on earth.

Don't Namekians subsist only on water?
This race is our worst nightmare.
Iirc Freeza's bunch only eat shellfish and wine.

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Back at the village one of the Namekian children heals you by laying his hand over your wounds while Pirina gets you your two star dragon ball. Afterwards you get a bit of a history lesson from the Namekians.

"In ancient times our people practiced this ritualistic blood letting to harden our skin until Namekian claws were no match for them. Obviously we grew out of those times and became more sophisticated.
But the ritual persists both to remind us of the past and to make sure those who have access to the Dragon Balls are no strangers to pain and suffering."

"How barbaric."
Kamin observes.

"We have similar things where I come from."
You respond.
"We have something similar with beatings and lashings but also more creative stuff like rubbing boiling oil on our skin.
I think every warrior culture has at least some ritual like this."

"But now that you're done-"
Pirina continues.
"You should seek out my battle brother Saonel.
He's the other strongest son of Namek."

"Oh goodie! I can't wait for another lashing!"

"Worry not.
You're through the worst of it.
Just don't think this means they won't be difficult..."

The next village Pirina pointed you to happens to be on the other side of the planet.
Makes sense, if he's the other guy who's supposed to "give birth" to the rest of their species they'd need to spread out as much as possible. But when you arrive he's already waiting for you.

"Finally, you're here.
Pirina sure took his time!"

"Well hello to you as well."

"I don't have all day so hurry along!
Your test will be a fight with me! It's that simple."

"Fighting the strongest of your kind?
Sounds fair..."

"Don't cry about it!
It's supposed to be a challenge, not some fun little activity anyone can participate in!
But to make it a bit more fair on you, you don't actually have to beat me. We'll have an arena and you may win via knockout or forcing your opponent to the ground. Flying is not allowed! Any questions?!"

"No."

"Good!"

Saonel then lead you to a circular little arena in the middle of the settlement itself.
Cracking his neck he prepares himself to face you.

>This arena looks small. Better not get too crazy and just wrestle him into submission
>If it's a knockout he wants then that's what he gets! (sucker punch him with time-skip)
>Go all out. Let's see how he likes that
>Other?

>>3283129
>Go all out. Let's see how he likes that

My guess Is he can withstand a punch or two, even a suckerpunch. Let's show him what we've got.

>>3283129
>Go all out. Let's see how he likes that
Is it time to into gravity manipulation?

>>3283129
>Go all out. Let's see how he likes that

>>3283129
>>Go all out. Let's see how he likes that
Go Shonen or go home.

>>3283129
>Go all out. Let's see how he likes that
We don't mess around with ice mans wish at the stake and if we lose hopefully we have soften him up enough.

>>3283129
>Go all out. Let's see how he likes that
My timeskip is unbeatable!

>>3283129
>Go all out. Let's see how he likes that

>>3283129
>Go all out. Let's see how he likes that
He doesn't know us, so we can get a surprise ring out early if we time it right. Just wait till he charges, give him a boost with our telekinesis and then watch him overshoot out of the ring

Hoooo boy
This is gonna be a tough one

Dice time!
1d20, best of 4
DC: 16 Crit: 18

>writing

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>3283226
Please dice.

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>3283226

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>3283226

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>3283226

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>3283232

>>3283232
>>3283229
That pisses me off so much

>>3283234
Clutch fat Android saves us again.

File: 1529275528159.gif (1.39 MB, 240x252)

1.39 MB GIF

>>3283234
The savior!
>>3283236
So fucking close

>>3283234
and the dough bot comes through

>>3283234
Thank God my roll was late. As I said we either shape by or crush it. It seems now we scrape by OOC and crush it IC.

>>3283234
>>3283226

TIME TO GIVE THIS MAN THE STANCE

>>3283237
Best of four buddy, we're In the clear.

>>3283234
The clutch, thanks senpai

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>>3283234
THE CLUTCH!

Hey Not Som, I don't think you ever answered last thread, but after the Kale fight where would you rank our PL right now?

>>3283256
We could beat first form Freeza, apparently.

>>3283256
I think he said we could take on first form frieza evenly IIRC.

Guys now that the strongest sons are taken care off (supposedly might be multi roll fight) how about we let ice man take the first crack at challenges?

>>3283260
>>3283259
Did he mean, like, current first form Freeza? Because we've gotta be, like, leagues stronger then Namek Saga first form Freeza, right?

>>3283267
Original first form, I doubt we just skipped straight to demon king/cell levels from one fight

>>3283272
We just put up a good fight against Kale, even though she did that "Oozaru without actually going Oozaru thing". Even without Super Saiyan, she's gotta be much stronger then any of Freeza's forms except Final during the Namek saga, right? Probably way stronger then base Goku's 3 mil, as well.

>>3283272
We did however get 10x more powerful since our last recorded PL when we were measured as first form Freeza level.
UNLIMITED POTENTIAL.

>>3283295
Wait wait wait. Do you think any of the Namekian Elders here could do Guru's 'Unlock Hidden Potential' thing?

>>3283304
Yeah maybe

>>3283289
Our powerset helps us fight way over our league, which is part of what makes Eric so impressive and Kale was adjusting to her power as the fight was going along. It was a matter of skill and ability beating out raw power and sloppy rage. Just because we lasted, not won mind you LASTED, for a good while in a spar does not automatically mean our number got 1000x bigger. That's the exact opppsite of the point of that.

>>3283304
I com0letely forgot about bringing this up, thank you anon

>>3283289
Depends if she fully recovered from that ki sickness that she had.

The fact that she can go SSJ is an encouraging sign, but she may still be a ways off from where she was in the ToP.

>>3283319
Also we aren't a Saiyan. So no Zenkai for getting our shit pushed in.

>>3283327
Instead we follow the example of Goku Black and just get stronger and develop new techniques in the middle of fights because "fuck you now I have the upper hand".

>>3283304
Possibly, yeah, though at our level the strength gain would probably be pretty negligible, unless it scales.

>>3283319
I didn't say we were as strong as Kale at all, or that we won the fight, but I'd think the fact that we fought her on relatively even terms for a while and didn't get our shit stomped puts us higher up the pecking order then Namek Saga first form Freeza, who she's much stronger than.

>>3283346
To be fair that was fairly common in DB, when it was purely a martial arts comedy. Tien basically got nerfed in Z.
>>3283348
And I'm saying you're heavily overestimating Eric's powerboost, not to mention QM confirmed last thread Eric is still only the third strongest human around.

>>3283348
In all honesty making the jump from guldo to first form Frieza is high enough for me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHankFNxrWI

You aren't really about holding back. Never were.
So if this guy wants a fight he's about to get one!

Raising your arms you announce your intentions to your opponent.
"This is the stance!"

"H-Huh?"

"In which I'll beat you!"

Disappearing from sight you use your speed and nigh untraceable ki to your advantage. Using your time-skip you get close to Saonel and let him have a barrage of punches, each of which sends a shockwave into his body.
His entire being is shaking and vibrating from your attack.
"W-Wha-"

"This is the end!"

Pulling your fist back you start twisting space around your knuckles until it becomes a whirling spiral and thrust the entire thing into Saonels body. Your knuckles strike his thick skin hard, hard enough for you to push your fist into his gut.
But the real impact of the attack comes when the compacted packet of space unwhirls and sends him flying backwards with a great twist.

Rolling backwards out of the ring he looks up at you in shock as you rub your nose in a cocky manner.
"Did I overdo it?"

"W-What in the blazes was that?!"
He demands angrily but eventually calms down and lets out a hearty chuckle.
"Hahahahaha! That I did not expect!
I was gonna match your power output until you realized it to teach you about restraint!
But this! I guess you don't need a lesson in that if you managed to hide that power this well!"
Saonel then walks over to an inconspicuous patch of grass and digs out the three star dragon ball from underneath.
"Here. You earned it. Unconventionally maybe. But you earned it!"

>>3283359
>I was gonna match your power output until you realized it to teach you about restraint!
Right, so, do NOT tell him that we're actually that weak and just really good at punching above our weight class. Got it.

>>3283355
Yeah, because Tien and Krillin, despite being much weaker then Goku and Vegeta and them, are still strong as fuck, compared with the rest of the universe. Krillin is apparently nearly as strong as 18, who could kick the shit out of a Super Saiyan and has probably gotten at least somewhat stronger since, and Tien was able to restrain Semi-Perfect Cell, who could easily beat the stuffing out of the aforementioned Super Saiyan beating Android, and was later able to deflect a planet busting attack from one of what was probably one of the strongest iterations of Buu. Obviously they're both stronger then us, but that doesn't make us weak.

>>3283379
>Tien and Krillin
Not even Tien and Roshi.

What a ningen!

>>3283379
>and Krillin
Who said anything about that loser?
Clearly they meant Tien and Roshi.
>>3283376
Or, we do and we see if we can get a power unlock from the Grand Elder.

>>3283384
Oh right, Roshi somehow got super strong. Well whatever, he's apparently absurdly strong now as well, so my point still stands.

I got to ask Not-Som. Is full on Ultra Instinct Master Roshi our Final Boss? Because I would be 10000% okay with that.

>>3283379
....ok so first off you're trying to argue that we're as strong as current first form frieza, who was strong enough to freak out krillin, tien, and piccolo, all guys stronger than eric. Second off we were barely as comparable to guldo prefight and you're trying to argue that one fight shot us up past perfect cell. That's insane. Third, where the fuck did you get krillin being nearly as strong as 18? From that one spar? They were TRAINING, of course she wasn't going full force on him. Jesus dude

>>3283384
You know what's up! Good to see you not putting Krilln on a pedestal the guy let himself go hard after Buu I doubt that bit in the forest was enough to offset years of laziness.

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>>3283393
What do you mean "full on"?
Why do you think his hair is white?

>>3283394
>It's a Goku goes blue out of pity episode
>it's a rerun

>>3283388
>Or, we do and we see if we can get a power unlock from the Grand Elder.
Why the hell would completely undermining the purpose and philosophy of this particular trial get us a reward?

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>>3283396
Oh based QM. I can't wait for U7 Earth now.

>>3283395
What do you mean after Buu?
Pretty sure the last time he trained was when they were prepping for 19 and Gero.
And even then I doubt he made too many gains.

Truth is the bitch got lazy after his Potential Unlock

>>3283379
>Krillin is apparently nearly as strong as 18
She's leagues ahead of him, don't know where you heard otherwise. The peak of Krillin's strength is cheapshotting people after a Solar Flare x100

>>3283400
I want our Ki to not be worthless, we've been neglecting it ever since we unlocked it.

>>3283409
Sure, but be sensible about getting there at least!. Besides, ki is secondary, we can beef it up when we have the time.

>>3283409
It's a moot point either way, Eric doesn't know potential power unlocking is a thing namekians can do. I'm kind of hoping we impress the namekians enough that their elder offers it after meeting with us post wish.

>>3283406
>Krillins special move is literally a move he jacked from Tien but he made it bigger
You'd think burning your opponents retina's out and blinding them would be considered a shameful last resort but whatever.
Remember the "no items" clause at the ToP, asshole Krillin broke that too.

>>3283394
>From that one spar? They were TRAINING, of course she wasn't going full force on him. Jesus dude

Ah fuck, I went and rechecked some dialogue from Resurrection F and apparently I misremembered it. Though apparently he was talking about Roshi and Tien anyways as the strongest humans, so Krillin doesn't really enter into it.

>>3283426
He did?

also roshi did too cause of his jars

>>3283396
Ymw you realize roshi's gonna be hunting us down if we do another tournanent cause we have special abilities

>>3283437
So did Caulifla and Kale.
But Zeno is a shit when it comes to rules

>>3283409
Here we have Eric, is stopping time, folding space. And generally making physics his bitch. And you want to make us into normal ki user. I'm not mad Anon, I'm just disappointed.

>>3283426
>Remember that one move I jacked from that one chinese dude that's basically a flashbang? Well I made it bigger! Plot twist!
God late db moves are boring. As underutilized as most of the ToP fighters were, at least a bunch of them had a creative move or two.

>>3283450
I mean, even Hit-Senpai is a increadibly skilled Ki user, so I can't blame anon for wanting to practice that side of our power more.

>>3283450
I want us to get a better base for when we face an opponent that can counter our physics fuckery.
We literslly brought two such people along with us to Namek.

The Tournament of Power rules were so fucking stupid
No killing was silly and conveniently doesn't matter if you kill them with their own attack.
No items was ignored. (Glasses, Mafuba, Krillin's shoe, Potara, Paparoni's staff, Katopesla's armour)
No outside interference was ignored (Spirit Bomb + U2 love garbage powerup)
What a fucking mess.

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As you carry the third ball back to the rest the two Tuffles look at you with starry eyes.
"That was cool!"
Kamin says.

"How much more are you hiding?"
Oren asks.

"Hmmm? Hiding?
I came up with that now."
They seem befuddled by this.
"Yes. You can better yourselves. Even in combat."

After blowing their mind with that little tidbit you made your way to the next village and found the Namekians there already waiting for you. Seems like news travels on a planet where nothing ever happens. Especially since apparently you are the first people in quite a while to have gathered more than two Dragon Balls.
The locals lead you to perhaps the oldest looking Namekian on the entire planet.

"Please... be very patient with the grand elder.
He's very old."

"I understand."
Stepping in you introduce yourself.
"Greetings I'm-"

"I've heard of who you are.
Son of Earth. Welcome to our planet.
I am the grand elder of our Namek. I am the keeper of the dragon balls.
It saddens me that you found us in such a state. Our planet in shambles, our people recovering from our own great trial.
But... at the very least we can offer you yours."

"You talk about the Tournament of Power, right?"

"Indeed...
Most of our able bodied sons volunteered to merge for the sake of our universe.
And now we try our best as always, to heal, to regrow. But sadly this means we don't have enough villages to split our dragon balls... so you'll have to do two trials... one... after another.
Or... would you like to... speed it up? Kids these days... are in... such a... hurry..."

"Erm-"

"But I... warn... you.
It... would be... really... reckless..."

>I'll do one after another
>Both at the same time!
>Actually I have a friend here. We can split them up
>Other?

>>3283472
>Katopesla

I think the Universe 3 guys were a special case because they have literally nothing else other than tech. So they were probably the exception to the rule

>>3283475
>i have a friend split em up

>>3283475
>I'll do one after another

Cocky, yes. Driven, yes. Not an idiot.

>>3283475
>Actually I have a friend here. We can split them up

>>3283475
>Actually I have a friend here. We can split them up
>>3283483
The rules were all arbitrary as fuck and nothing made sense.
17 couldn't even blow up his own shirt despite suicide bombing.

Use the wish to help the namekians, or to make the Tuffles organic again, give them their emotions back and restore planet Plant, allowing them to find zen peace or something

>>3283475
>Actually I have a friend here. We can split them up

I reaaallly hope we can get a significant boost before we get back.
Caulifla is gonna want to kick our ass.

So Hyssop gets to do one...
A'ight, I think I'll just give him this W
You on the other hand...

No dice needed this time
>writing

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>>3283528
>You on the other hand...

>>3283475
Can he unlock our potential

"I'm many things Elder.
Cocky, driven, foolhardy! Yes.
But I'm not an idiot. I don't presume to be able to complete two trials at once.
However I have a friend outside, you may have heard of him. He's the one I'm collecting these for.
He can do the one."

"I see...
Neeeeeeey!"

A rather strong looking Namekian enters the chamber.
"Yes lord guru?"

"The offworlder outside.
Give him the trial of heart.
And seal the chamber."

"You mean sir-"

"Yes.
We must perform the trial of spirit.
Now please, go."

The bodyguard of the elder bows and as his lord and master instructed locks the door behind you.
With no windows or any other openings present, you are stuck with the large green man.
"I'm starting to regret my decision!"

"Calm down son of Earth. Now's not the time for fear.
That comes later."

"D-Did you read my mind?"

"I may have..."
He then points to some sort of pedestal next to his throne.
"Please... light the fire under the brazier."

Doing as you're told you kindle the flame under the ceremonial piece of furniture and watch as the charcoal within begins to heat up. Once the room starts to heat up the guru continues with his instructions.
"Now... take some water from that bucket and pour it over the rocks."

"So... just like a sauna."

"Yes.
But there is no need for you to strip.
It won't get that hot. But you might want to take a seat."

"Why-hy-hy-hy-hyyyyyyy~"
As soon as you pour the water on the rocks and catch a whiff of the escaping fumes you feel... dizzy.
Looking down into the bucket you see several strange leaves floating around in the water.
Your voice starts to distort and stretch.
"Fuuuuuuuuuck~"

>>3283562
Oh no! Our Bane quotes! Our final trump card! This race really is a nightmare!

>>3283562
VISION QUEST. VISION QUEST. VISION QUEST!

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah bruddha!

Your legs give out and you fall unceremoniously on your ass as Guru rambles on.
"I do enjoy these sessions.
It does wonders for the joints."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKp30C3MwVk

You however hardly hear any of it as you start to experience the taste of sound with your eyeballs.
Thinking back on it, while you still can, you should've packed your bags. Because it looks like you're going on a trip.
In your heightened state of awareness you get to experience the entire heat death of the universe, subsequent rebirth, development into an exact replica of yours only to watch it die again.

The walls melt, your memories melt together with reality to create a trippy hellscape before you are suddenly yanked back into the same, bland looking Namekian house in the middle of a backwater planet.
Next to you stands Guru who is silently judging you, waiting to see your reaction.

You want to ask him something but as you open your mouth he points forward in order to alert you to something.
Sitting in front of you is an exact replica...
Well, not exactly.

The entity in front of you may resemble you but the details are all wrong, distorted, unnatural, lending him an uncanny valley feeling. Especially when he moves around, causing his body to shift and distort slightly.
He looks into you with his vacant eyes and speaks in a rhaspy, echoey voice.

"Why are you here?"
You try to open your mouth to answer but you can't. He won't let you.
"You remember that, right? A dead planet inhabited by those who don't realize they shouldn't live.
Aliens that could kill you with a blink if you did one wrong move. And ohhhh sooo many more horrors you can't even begin to imagine them all! But... look who I'm telling this to. You already know!
So why? Why do you pretend like you... matter? Here you are uncountable lightyears away from home, playing hero, a dashing rogue sailing through the galaxy, having adventures!
But we both know the truth... don't we?
You are just human... no. You are just a failure. A delivery boy, a reject, a dropout."
He stands up and looks down on you.

"You left that piece of dirt because you were nothing back there... and hoped you'd be less of a disappointment elsewhere.
But deep down you know you're on borrowed time. Sooner or later your lucky streak will end. And you'll die.
So why go on?"

>Because it's not futile! Because I made and will continue to make a difference!
>Look... I know what this is. And it's not working.
>Shoot him in the face
>Other?

>>3283612
>Because it's not futile! Because I made and will continue to make a difference!

>>3283612
>Because it's not futile! Because I made and will continue to make a difference!

>>3283612
>>Because it's not futile! Because I made and will continue to make a difference!

>>3283612
>>We all die one day. Either in a ditch with a hole in our head and a missing wallet, or in a blaze of glory fighting for the well-being of my friends, or for innocent people across the universe. We all die so I'm going to make sure that, whenever my time does come, I'll meet it with eyes wide open, and without regret!

>>3283612
>>Other?
Of course the lucky streak will end and I might even die. But we both know death isn't the end, and hell I might make a few friends willing to do what I'm doing for Hyssop, for me.
Until then though, I get to explore the universe. I get to make a different. I get to have the adventure every single human has desired since man looked up at the stars and silently wished he could fuck them.

>>3283612
>Because it's not futile! Because I made and will continue to make a difference!

>>3283612
Actually can we just meditate and ignore the asshole spirit trying to get under our skin?

>>3283612
>>Because it's not futile! Because I made and will continue to make a difference!

>Cause i care enoguh to do it.. Your right, i can die any second. One day me luck's gonna run out. So if im gonna die eventually why should i curl and cry about it. Heck i can't aford having an existential meltdown cause im too much of a pussy to deal with the fact that aliens are real. I got kids. You got kids. Get over yourself, we're vikings not weaklings.

>>3283639
Well I mean if others voted for it.
That's what the "Other" refers to

>writing

Anons completely ignoring the fact we already have died

You look up at the figure.
"Of course I know that the lucky streak will end and I'll die. But news flash! Everyone dies!
Either in a ditch with a hole in our head and a missing wallet, or in a blaze of glory fighting for the well-being of my friends, or for innocent people across the universe.
But we both know death isn't the end, and hell I might make a few friends willing to do what I'm doing for Hyssop, for me.
Until then though, I get to explore the universe. I get to make a different. I get to have the adventure every single human has desired since man looked up at the stars and silently wished he could fuck them."

You stand up to meet the figure eye to eye and clench your fist.
"So why do I do it?
BECAUSE I CARE!"

The figure pauses... then chuckles.
"As you wish. Care then.
Make your friends, have your experiences, enjoy the world while you can.
It'll only hurt more when you loose it all. But you know that already. After all, you're me!"

With that the shadowy being fades back into nothingness, where it came from.
And you are left standing there, alone.
"Douche..."

The atmosphere then clears and you find yourself back with Lord Guru.
"You've done well, son of man.
Though I must admit... that bit about intercourse was highly inappropriate."

"Eh... but it was honest.
Does that count for anything?"

"I suppose it does."
He reaches above his chair and hands you the Dragon Ball affixed to it.
"Go on. Take it.
And remember: The brightest light casts the darkest shadow.
But it's in the greatest darkness where light shines brightest."

You look upon the orb and gaze into its star before looking back up to him.
"Do you have a shadow as well lord guru?"

"Of course.
We all do. I could rid myself of it.
But what is greater? Being inherently good or overcoming the evil inside?
Your doubts, your fears, they are a part of you. They make you who you are."

The entrance unlocks and you manage to take your first breath of fresh air in... who knows how long.
The others are naturally there to greet you.

"Eric! You made it!
You were in there for so long we thought-"

"Yes Hyssop... I got it.
By the way how long was I in there?"

"Three hours."
Vados answers you.

"WHAT?!"

"Yes. I completed my trial as well.
I had to climb a mountain without flying, grab a bucket of water and bring it back.
But it turns out there was a small, thirsty Namekian waiting for me at the bottom.
Turns out he was part of the trial and I passed by giving him a drink.
I was really pissed too because by that point I climbed the thing three times already..."

"Well...
I guess only two more left."

>>3283741
Hey, that doesn't count.
Nukes are cheating.

Aaaaand that's as far as I can go for today.
I don't like ending on a cliffhanger, especially with my two day break coming. But I don't have what it takes to do the last two trials.

So sadly you'll just have to be patient until I return.
Anyways, I hope you had fun as always.

See you guys later.

>>3283757
Good session, Not-Som. See you next time.

>>3283757
thx for the run

>>3283757
Good session.
>Caulifla asks to see us to get Super Saiyan back
>immediately fuck off to Namek with the Tuffles and the blue guy
She's probably going to be mad guys, when we get back we're probably gonna have to be aware of surprise dropkicks.
Also I do hope we get to see the Twins in action at one point.

>>3283787
That will certainly come.
Both the dropkick and the Tuffle match

>>3283794
Poor Eric, he's just trying to fulfil oblogations and promises yet somebody is gonna try and kick him through a mountain because they're jealous of his natural blonde hair.

>>3283809
>>I'm sorry, but keeping my promise to whateverhisnameis and ensuring his wife and kid are safe, are more important to me then you getting your blonde back. If you don't like it then get your ass over-here and do something about it!

>>3283851
Why do I get the terrible feeling she's going to go super during the fight and continue the fight as a curbstomp on us as payback for beating her?

>>3283860
Just think of it as saiyan courting. Won't make the ass kicking we're gonna get hurt any less though. But hey that's saiyan courting for ya.

>>3283932
I think for Caulifla right now she sees it as less courting and more "this guy is like a punching bag that powers you up and does other unexpected shit".
I wonder if Caulifla's tail will grow back (also if it does she'll have the old tail grab pacifying weakspot unless she trains it) it's not like it's a problem in places without common full moons or if she learns to control the transformation.
Also I just realised that Oozaru Kale would probably be able to hold off on going full rampage mode better than Caulifla due to her experience with Wrath mode probably transferring over to monkey madness.
Golden Oozaru and Super Saiyan 4 are cool concepts, fite me.

>>3283745
>Though I must admit... that bit about intercourse was highly inappropriate."
He's asexual, what does he care?

>>3284040
Not like we didn't get educated on the Namekians shitting out eggs without being asked if we wanted to hear hiw they reproduce.

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>>3283396
I'd rather fight pic related next tournament.

I must say, I'm quite surprised by our disposition towards the twins.
Everybody sees them as "our kids" while they most likely don't view as a parent.

Nobody wants to fug them? Really?
Son I'm dissapoint.

Its obviously our destiny to dick everything in this universe!

>namekians? Granted a female by Shenron for the sole purpose of getting inseminated by Eric
>saiyans? Their women fight each other to determine who gets to make new Super Elite babies with the earthling
>tuffles? They were docked figuratively already, now its time to do it literally and teach the kids about the best part of being alive by pleasuring every orifice they have
>Zamasu? Pacified and completely reformed after wished into a woman and bedded by Eric the but demon!

And speaking of demons
>not even the demon realm is safe from the glory of human D. Pureblood demons face extinction as their females want to breed exclusively with their new messiah, the chef of destruction

>universe six skyrockets to the top of the universal rankings
It is our destiny!

>>3285132
"Nut demon"
Stupid auto correct

>>3285132
You are a terrible person, begone.

>>3285132
You need to go back to akun

>>3285132
I for one am happy there are characters we are close with but aren't gonna try and bed.
Besides besides the Tuffle history and a shit ton of fighting knowledge the two have literally no idea about how living works.
They don't even know what fun is.
I wonder how strong they could get if they trained.

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>>3285168
Looks like it's time to laugh at Vegeta.
Again.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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>>3285132
I don't know...
There is one thing he said that really stuck with me.
So I looked it up and...
*smacks lips*
Damn

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>>3285177

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>>3285177

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>>3285178
>>3285182
LOOK AT THOSE LEGS!
Now I'm starting to get what Zamasu was going on about! Truly the height of beuty!

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>>3285185

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>>3285186
Face it Zamasu, you fucked up.
This is the ultimate body you should've asked for.
Now everybody thinks you're a gay autist

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>>3285185
>>3285192
I see that even you must be purged, Not-Som.

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>>3285192
Yamero ningen!

>>3285192
>>3285195
How do we unlock the secret Zamasu Route anyway?

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>>3285236
>>3285236
Well, the first thing you have to do is not be a filthy ningen.

>>3285241
Time to wish for immortality.
The ultimate plot twist.

>>3285242
Won't work, then we'd just be immortal filthy ningen.

>>3285256
Could also probably become a planetary guardian.
In Xenoverse 2 Zamasu does mention he could make you the new Supreme Kai of Time because Chronoa is worthless.
Alternatively there's always the "become a God of Destruction" route.

>>3285270
I wouldn't say no to becoming Guardian of Earth in the far future, after exploring the universe to our heart's content and sating our budding Xenophilia.

>>3285278
Who'd want to be guardian of that bunch of plebs?
Let's just do a Goku and keep training.
Kaioken x 1000 or bust.
I'd also like to get magic so we can heal ourselves after exploding all of our organs pulling that off.

>>3285297
I do want to extend our lifespan somehow, to keep exploring and having adventures to our hearts content, until the day ennui truly sets in and we're ready to move on.

And magic can probably help with that, along with helping us make a better Kaioken/Super mode from mixing our Ki and Psychic energies!

>>3285308
I mean, it's likely the Tuffles are biologically immortal.
Also Vados and Champa are millions of years old already.
The trap is that true immortality kind of puts you in stasis and prevents you from raising your strength.

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>>3285330
Or you could ask her.
She probably has a way to do just that

>>3285241
Xenoverse 2 Zamasu offers to mentor the PC because he detected a hint of inherent divine Ki when attempting to murder him/her. This makes him reconsider his stance on the Zero mortals plan, and he makes an exception for the PC since he/she could make a good minion.

>>3285348
We probably could, but first we have to find out she exists.
Although depending on how far we take our time manipulation I can definitely see her getting pissed off and giving us a warning.

>>3285192
I feel ashamed of you

and morbidly curious

>>3285433
Time to make a wish on the super dragonballs to retroactively make Zamasu a girl across all timelines

>>3285457
How about this, let's not and say we didn't!

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>3285884
Let's roll for it
Higher roll decides

>>3285899
Too bad Dc was 21

Rolled 18 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>3285906
Too bad you activated my special ability.

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>>3285919
Zamasu route unlocked!
Happy hunting

In all seriousness this is my last Zamasu shitpost... for a while.
Now I'm gonna be off.
Wish me luck so I don't freeze to death tomorrow

>>3286003
Ganbare, Not-Som.

>>3285308
Improving our body alone should add a ton of years if Roshi is anything to go by. Perfectly normal human anatomy, over 300 and still kicking.

>>3285348
>>3285330
Chronoa is one person we could train for that, finishing up Hit's training would also add centuries. Remember the guy is really old, time control has a ton of benefits as far as the body is concerned.

>>3286053
Roshi just eats a magical herb that gives him like a thousand extra years to live every time he eats it.
What the fuck.
That's bullshit.

>>3286076
(I mean the herb, you've gotta wonder why Bulma hasn't gone for that, or you know, literally anyone)
I assume he was just old when he found it

>>3286053
I don't know if that's just a gag now as of DBZ, but in the original Dragonball it was stated by turtle that he apparently ingested some sort of immortality elixir that granted him eternal life.

>>3286092
Super basically confirms it's the herb from the spooky illusion forest Goku and Krillin get.

>>3285919
Well that dosen't count as you already rolled thus that was it for you too bad.

>>3286217
QM approved the roll.
FemZamasu route is a go.
You've lost.
It's over.

>>3286092
His phoenix (apparently died because of tainted seeds), elixir, the fountain of youth, and the herb all the things he has said has given him extended lifespan. People think it's a joke I think he combined it all and he is constantly on edge of Withdrawal.

>>3286235
Well, he as admired its a shitpost so, in the end, you will never actually get it so it doesn't matter as your hope was meaningless from the beginning. (No matter how the pities you joking that its unlocked)

>>3286253
Why doesn't he just wish for eternal youth?
>>3286262
Too bad anon, Zamasu route is full speed ahead.
You cannot stop it, it is inevitable.

>>3286267
You wish to get intimate with with a filthy gender swapped Zamasu instead of monkey waifus or angel waifu. I look down on you Anon.

>>3286511
I'm joking anyway.
Kefla best girl.
Speaking of I just realised that Kefla probably could've gone Super Saiyan 3 in the ToP on the same logic Gotenks could do it by witnessing Goku go SS3.
Problem was she got too fucking angry and you can't force 3 by getting angry.
She could probably have beaten UI Goku if she didn't go full on rage mode and tried to go 3.