>>3369023
>Call out the Globglogabgalab from the cave, and duel him (chivalry)

>>3369027
Roll 1d20 by the way

Rolled 7 (1d20)

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>3369023
>>3369028
>Call out the Globglogabgalab from the cave, and duel him (chivalry)

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>3369028
>Call out the Globglogabgalab from the cave, and duel him (chivalry)

File: tegaki.png (14 KB, 400x400)

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Sir Paragon
-Chivalry: 4/10
-Piety: 6/10
-Strategy: 2/10
-Dread: 1/10

Sir Pepe the Envious
-Chivalry: 3/10
-Piety: 3/10
-Strategy: 7/10
-Dread: 0/10

Sir Rocko the Excitable
-Chivalry: 5/10
-Piety: 1/10
-Strategy: 4/10
-Dread: 3/10

>>3369027
>>3369031
>>3369311
>>3370563
I'll take the 10=Average success

Sir Paragon stood at the front of the cave and yelled "come out ye beast, or we shall come in there after you! We shall see how dead a meme can truly be." For a few seconds only silence was heard, then the rumblings and dark gurglings of a great creature was heard, "I am the Glob-glo-gab-galab The shwabble-dabble-wabble-gabble flibba blabba blab" the beast growled, his disgusting voice penetrating the knights virgin ears. "I'm full of shwibbly glib-a-kind I am the yeast of thoughts and minds," he said, now close enough to smell his breath. Then the beast emerged from the cave, gargantuan and bloated, saying "Shwabble dabble glibble glabble schribble shwap glab." The beast was incapacitating Sir Paragon with its foul words, and he dropped Excelsior to hold his ears. "Dibble dabble shribble shrabble glibbi-glap shwap" the monster bellowed as it lifted Sir Paragon up in its huge hand, readying to eat his very essence. Sir Pepe though, had airpods in, and decided to throw them and Ecselsior to Sir Paragon, who regained his composure just in time to cut into the gelatinous head of the Globglogabgalab, killing it. "Oooh, ha ha ha, mmm, splendid Simply delicious Ooooohm, ha haa ha ha" the beast said, deflating into a pile of goo and entrails.
>Enter the cave, calling out to fight the wizard fairly (Chivalry)
>dress in the skin of Gloglogabgalab as a disguise (Dread)
>Sneak into the cave, and try to attack the wizard in an ambush (Strategy)
>Ask the gods for a sign (Piety)
Roll 1d20

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>3371519
>>Enter the cave, calling out to fight the wizard fairly (Chivalry)

It's Sir Rocko's time to shine!

>>3371536
Ehhh, maybe not.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>3371519
>Ask the gods for a sign (Piety)
Maybe something different.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>3371536
supporting

>>3371536
>>3371748
+2 modifier = on nat 20
Sir Paragon got all the knights to pray away the wizards dark magic, and lo and behold; a beam of light shone through a crevice in the cave top and lit the caves insides. The Knights ran in, weapons in hand, and saw the wizard hold up his hands, preparing to strike at them. "Skidaddle Skidoodle, your dick is now a noodle!" the small man yelled while shooting magic out of his hands, only to be deflected by Sir Paragons pure and holy CHASTITY! All the other Knights got behind Sir Paragon as he took no effect from the spells of the dark fiend, who got more and more desperate as the fight progressed. Sir Paragon justly cut into the warlock, clefting him in twain. When the party exited, they saw all the dead meme folk, and Sir Dickred standing in front of them, "thank you oh gracious knights, we shall pray for your safe passage" one of the memes said. The great old meme then took you out of the pit, and onto the road, saying goodbye all the while.
Once the Knights got out of there, the path to Kekstantinople was simple enough, and the city itself was truly something to behold: with great ziggurats to Kek, a great tournament, green frog people and various others enjoying the life they had made for themselves, and of course a great and awesome tavern.
>Tavern ho!
>Visit the Ziggurat's
>Go to the king of Kekstantinople
>Go to the tournament of Kek

>>3372087
*not nat 20

>>3372087
>Go to the tournament of Kek

>>3372087
>>Go to the tournament of Kek
We can't call ourselves real knights until we win a tournament!

>>3372329
>>3372409
>Be me
>Be Sir Paragon the Brave
>Be in Kekstantinople for holy glory
>Getting ready to fight in the tourney for awesome points
>Expecting a great lance duel or something of that sort
>Get there
>All there is in the middle of the arena are two wooden chairs
>Sit on one of the chairs as requested
>Shitty fat Frogposter sits in the other chair, starring me down
>Duel begins
>Frogposter starts with "Behold at thee in thy armeth and with thy sword, wherefore arent thee off killing innocents, instead thee partake in a duel with a cumberworld? I shouldst calleth thee a fopdoodle for yond is what thou art, art thee not? wherefore cometh here in this fine establishment and filthy it up with thy fustilugs acting? leaveth anon and beest did humiliate, for yond is what a quisby liketh thee is most wondrous at."
>Damn, that was good, I'll have to get him back with a zinger
>(Kek customs are weird)

>Write a comeback

>>3375078
>notice how fat the guy is
>get an idea
>"Ha, dost thou call me a fopdoodle? Verily thou shouldst kill thineself, father of another frog's child, for thine own corpulent frame showeth thine own upbringing to be as foppish as any doodle in the lands."
>let's see what he does next

>>3375095
+1

>>3375897
>>3375095

>The frogposter stood up and gave his next diss in anger and fury
> ”A crooked-nosed knave such as thee shalt has't nay parteth in guessing mine own weight, for thy eyes shouldst has't nay parteth in guessing aught from a distance! thee belike couldn't guesseth the diff'rence between thy hath left and right!”
>What a zinger, will have to come up with something better than that

>>3376101
>>>>>>>>>>>AnotherNewRaiderQM

>>3376101
>be me, Sir Paragon
>feel weird about that insult but it seems to have pissed him off so it's worth it
>also, it looks like his weak point was his obesity
>going to press him now
>"Hoh, thou art projecting thine own crooked, malformed nose onto mine own narrow and patrician arch, and it betrayeth thine own lacking eyesight."
>"I shouldst add that poor vision be a symptom of the diabeetus. Hast thou seen a physician for thine obesity? If thou dost not then thine rolls of fat shalt rot, and make a great stench which may even overpower thine own trashy natural musk; and furthermore, thou shalt feel a great thirst which no quantity of trashy energy drinks shalt state, and thine tongue shalt swell and add an offensive lisp to thine speech which may repel the trashy waifu thou claspeth to thine breast every night."
>"Mayhap thine present wrath be a symptom of thine obesity? 'twould explain thine pathetic yapping, so much like that of thine mother when Tyrone cometh to fill the goblet with mead."
>it'll be tough to recover from that without a cheap comeback, I hope

>>3376172
Yeah, that's my big boy secret
QMing two games with completely different themes and writing styles is a little hard sometimes

>>3376233
Good luck, QM. I think both have been pretty good so far

>>3376226
+1

>>3376265
>>3376226
>Shitty frogposter looked at himself
>Said under breath ”feelsbadman.jpeg” and walked away, defeated
>The crowd roared with delight as I turned to them confused
>Where are the swords and horses?
>Walked away happy, but also kinda disappointed
Green text shitposting ability obtained

>Tavern
>Ziggurat
>Palace

>>3376391
>Ziggurat
>thank Kek for granting us this victory

>>3376402
this, then go to the tavern to celebrate!

File: Ziggurat of Kek.jpg (50 KB, 600x382)

50 KB JPG

>>3376402
>>3377170
The Knights headed to the Ziggurat so that Pepe could pray to Kek when the high priest recognized the frog. The priest examined him and was blown away by the frogs sheer meme-ability: he said that Pepe was the most meme-able person he had ever met, and crowned him the prophet of Kek (to Pepe's surprise mind you). The priest said that he had to complete three tasks for Kek, to truly prove himself as the prophet: first he would have to fight off the Aryan raiders that have troubled the land of late, he would also have to slay a nearby dragon, and then finally, he would have to duel the king of Kekstantinople. Needless to say, the knights said they had to think about it and think about it they did. The knights then headed to 'The waddling hodger' for a drink and a good roast pig. There they met a chubby friar known as 'François De Fréjus,' who promised to aid them with healing and giving them a good Kek. Now that their stay at the local tavern was done, they had to think about the quest again.
+Friar Friar François De Fréjus added to the party+
>Go for the dragon
>Duel the king
>Fend of the raiders
>Split the party up, with Pepe doing his own thing, and the knights going on their way
>Say no thank you to the priest
>Write in

Roll 1d20

>>3379207
>Ask François if the Patriarch of Kekstantinople is bamboozling them

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>3379207
>>3379260

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>3379260
Supporting and rolling
Also, let's fend off the raiders first.

File: tegaki.png (16 KB, 400x400)

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Before any of this, it should be said that the salamanders hatched, and the knights gave them to the priest to keep safe for when the party returns.

>>3379260
>>3379263
>>3379272
6/20 = failure
The knights asked their new recruit if they were being bamboozled, and he just shrugged and went on drinking. Party decided to attack the Aryan's first, attacking their camp that they had made at the mouth of the sea. The attack was a failure though, with the company getting swarmed by the burly half-naked barbarians before they even got close to the camp. They were taken to the chieftain, who introduced himself as Chad Chadsson, the greatest of men, and the greatest of the greatest race. He said that the virgin king of Kekstantinople invited the raiders over to protect against sand people, and once the sand people were sufficiently scarred, they expected the raiders to just 'dissapear.' Chad Chadsson offers the knights a deal:
>Death
>Or duel the king (Kill two birds with one stone)

>>3379447
It's more like
>Duel Chad Chadsson
>Or duel the virgin king

Roll 1d20 either way

>>3379447
>Or duel the king (Kill two birds with one stone)

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>3379467
Oh.
>>3379469
Never mind, I change to:
>"Death"

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>3379467
>>Duel Chad Chadsson

>>3379469
>>3379473
>>3379655
7=Failure
The duel between Sir Paragon and Chad Chadsson was fairly one-sided, with Chad grabbing Excelsior with his teeth, and sack tapping Sir Paragon repeatedly until the knight gave up. The other knights were given their chance, all with a similar result. Apart from the friar; who managed to make Chad laugh enough to keep the fat man as a form of entertainment.
>Pray to the Thot of Mercy for mercy (DC=15)
>Get the friar to poison the man's grog (DC=13)
>Try to get François to convince the man to free the knights (DC=17)
Roll 1d20

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>3381534
>Pray to the Thot of Mercy for mercy (DC=15)

>>3381537
It is a sign from God
Sir Paragon's faith carries him through when his strength fails him

File: King of the heavens.jpg (22 KB, 302x360)

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>>3381537
>>3381542
Sir Paragon prays so hard that god himself pulled apart the clouds, and lifted the knight up, and squashed the Aryan raiders who weren't on their knees with his gigantic thumb. "CHAD CHADSSON, I AM GOD, AND YOU MUST AID THESE KNIGHTS IN WHATEVER THEY CHOOSE. PEACE OUT," God said as he ascended back through the clouds. The men now pledged allegiance to you through the power of 'Deus Ex Mimemata Uberia' (god of the dank memes). What do?
>Order the men to fight the dragon with you (DC=18)
>Order the men to go back to the Aryan lands
>Order the men to force the king to duel Pepe (DC=14)

>>3381566
>Order the men to go back to the Aryan lands and prepare to fight the heathens of the Sand People

Requesting François to be renamed François De Fromage-Fondu

>>3381573
+1

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>>3381573
>>3381672
The creature of the Friar is the one who can change it
>>3381859
The Knights send the heathens off to prepare to fight other heathens, and prepare to for their next task, but first: glorious applause from the citizens of Kekstantinople, including the rather pompous king, who had no idea about the duel soon to be had.
Now Pepe chose to confront the dragon by himself, who holds a great horde of treasure and kills all who try to take it from him: his name was Smug. The party went to where the entrance of the cave was, and decided to:
>Chivalry: Confront the dragon, and challenge it to a duel (DC=18)
>Dread: Try to cause the dragon to cause a cave-in through scarring it (DC=16)
>Piety: Pray to Kek for the power to slay the dragon (DC=14)
>Strategy: Wait for the dragon to come out to drink from the nearby stream, and attack from under the water (DC=15, and Pepe gets a modifier of +3)
Roll 1d20

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>3383704
>Chivalry: Confront the dragon, and challenge it to a duel (DC=18)

Rolled 6, 18 = 24 (2d20)

>>3383704
>The creature of the Friar is the one who can change it
Cool... That's me tho : <

>Have the Friar flatter and befriend the dragon then goad him into revealing his weak spot to Sir Parangon

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>3383795
Fuck rolled twice

Rolled 4 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>3383704
>>Strategy: Wait for the dragon to come out to drink from the nearby stream, and attack from under the water (DC=15, and Pepe gets a modifier of +3)

>>3383718
>>3383795
It autocorrected to the creature instead of the creator, guess I spelled it wrong. Made me Kek though.
>>3383796
>>3385189
I guess I'll just take the 18. François De Fromage-Fondu walked into the cave as a sort of bait, to the surprise of Pepe (considering he was intending on doing this on his own). "You hide in the shadows sir knight, and I'll talk to this 'dragon.' Once the friar got through the first couple of cavern layers, he saw a huge red dragon, sleeping on top of a large pile of shekels. Pepe was waiting for a queue behind a large grouping of stalagmites. Before François could construct a good plan, the dragon started sniffing the surrounding area and began to wake up. The monsters huge wings spread out as if to stretch the sleep out of them, and then furled them back in again. It let out a huge yawn, showing its gigantic and sharp teeth, then put it's head back on the ground to sleep. Before dozing off though, it started to sniff again, and then it's whole head and neck cocked up, to the surprise of the friar and co. It saw the fat man now and was confused.
"A man of the cloth comes to my cave? Your god does not allow the possession of material goods to satiate your delicious greed though, so why would someone like you be here?" The deep drawl of the dragon made the cave rumble and the friar quiver, though the accent of the dragon itself was not all that scary (considering it sounded slightly like Woody Allen).
"Oh merciful dragon, I simply came to see if the tales were true; of a great beast that all men fear, and that all kings sweat at the mere notion of." The monk had bowed low now, making the dragon grin.
"You amuse me fat one, and so does your faith. Tell me, what is your name, and why do you truly come here?" The beast's long neck carried its head close to the friar, so close in fact, that the plump alcoholic could taste his last meal in the now hot air.
"Truly? Truly you are magnificent, great and mighty, and more powerful than all gods or men. I simply came to see if evil could be so great. And woe to me, for it is true what they say: truly the embodiment of chaos and fury." The monk had bowed so low that he could not even see the gold surrounding the dragon.

>>3386310
The creature let out a bellied laugh, and reeled back so as to not kill the monk in the process, and said in a rather jovial manner "how could such a weak and pathetic man vex me so? It is true that I am the greatest, and the richest in the world, but to hear it from such a pious sod makes me laugh as any good joke would. But you still have not given me your name, friar." The beast had stopped laughing by now, but he still had a sharp-toothed grin.
"My name? Well, my name is François De Fromage-Fondu! But it is rude, sir dragon, to ask someone's name without giving your own." The monk had now lifted up his head, in an expecting manner.
"I AM SMUG! Lord of all that flies, and chiefest and greatest of calamities! Be prudent in your questions, for I could squash you as soon as boredom hits me." When the beast roared, it caused the whole cave to shake, and fine dust to ill the air. The monk stood up completely now and prepared his next question wisely.
>Ask him about his past
>Ask him if he is truly invincible
>Ask about what he wants to do with all the money
>Offer help in spreading the worship of the dragon
>Ask if any knight or hero has gotten close to smiting him
(Some of these questions will annoy the beast, some of them make him more open to other questions)

>>3386313
>Ask him about his past

>>3386313
"to hear it from such a pious sod makes me laugh as any good joke would"

Well, you see, the surrendering monks from the land of Fromage aren't an unbased stereotype, they're very good at it, and then they keep screwing with you until you leave. Some say that otherwise you gradually turn into a frog and then they eat you but that's probably exaggeration based on the smells of wine and cheese.

>>3386313
>>Ask him about his past

>>3386314
>>3386589
>>3386647

New thread is here
>>3388376

Last post lol.

HAH Got'em

>>3406189
nope.