The synopsis should read: The Knights have finished taking the holy land for the emperor and, after reuniting with Sir Pepe, they set off to the capital of the sand-people. Sir Paragons chivalry stat should also be 5, not 4

>>3426618
Sir Paragon looked at the evil visage of himself and smirked, and drew his sword, saying: "I've been looking for a worthy opponent to duel with this blade since I got it, little did I know that opponent would be me." Sir Paragon swung at his enemy, but when the blade went through the creature as if there was nothing there at all, it was the phantoms turn to smirk, kneeing the off-balance knight right in the gut, knocking him to the floor in agony. The ghoul raised its sword to strike down the knight, but Sir Paragon luckily blocked the attack in the nick of time, though it did leave a large gash on his face. Sir Paragon in his head prayed to the gods above for guidance and, after a few minutes of the knight fending off his fell reflection, they answered; sending a large beam of light through a tiny crack in the room's roof to illuminate the invisible barrier between the companions and their leader, which broke it like a panel of glass.

The party members rushed in and fended off the now stunned phantom, who quickly shook off the thought of the miracle, and begun laughing. It was soon clear why, as three more phantoms reflecting the companions pulled themselves out of the black pool, which didn't even glimmer in the new light in the room. Just as the fight was about to begin, Sir Rocko did something bold; he, seeing that he would be the only knight able to fit in the small black pond, ducked and weaved past the phantoms and jumped head first into the unholy waters.

The kobold knight started to swim through the tunnel, sometimes being grabbed by desperate phantom hands, and eventually fell through the other side. Sir Rocko stood up and saw that on the other side of the pond was the exact same room as before, just more dark and evil, as if the reflections came from some sort of pocket dimension. In the corner of the room though, Sir Rocko saw an old shriveled man, who was in a fetal position, murmuring to himself quietly:
>Attack him unprovoked (roll 1d20)
>Talk to the old man
>Write in

>>3426636
>Talk to the old man

>>3426636
>Talk
Crikey!
>Cobblers!
Dinkey!
>Too right.

>>3426678
>>3426680
Sir Rocko starts to try to talk to the old man in his usual 'strayan way, but the shivering man didn't respond. The Knight walked up and touched the old, rag-covered man on the shoulder, and got a quick and, somewhat frightening, response: "THE MIRRORS! They're everywhere, EVERYWHERE, mirrors mirrors..."
Sir Rocko looked around for what the old man said, and saw nothing but a cold dark room, and of course the pond. "Don't know what the bloody 'ell your talkin' about old fella, there are no mirrors here."
The crazy man laughed, and pointed at the pond, saying "of course, OF COURSE THERE IS! look into that water, it is a mirror, a mirror of DEATH!" The somewhat geezer returned to mad ramblings, scuttling back into the corner.
"How do I defeat the phantoms?" The old man turned around and smiled, and said: "You'll have to kill me." Sir Rocko tried to ask more questions, but the loony just responded with incoherent babbling:
>Kill him
>Leave him, and this place
>Try to pick him up, and take him out of this nightmare
Roll 1d20

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>3426908
>>Kill him

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>3426908
>>Try to pick him up, and take him out of this nightmare

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>3426908
>Try to pick him up, and take him out of this nightmare

>>3427035
>>3427041
>>3427056
rolled 15, with a DC of 13 = success
Sir Rocko grabbed the old man and said: "Not today!" while jumping into the pool and fighting off the now scarred Rocko phantom. The knight pulled himself up, and out of the evil pond, and found the knights fighting their evil halves to the bitter end, and when they saw Rocko with the old man, and the look in the kobolds eyes, they knew it was time to bail.
The Knights quickly jumped back into the water at the entrance and, after taking a deep breath, swam back through the tunnel to the oasis. Once leaving, they saw the tunnel magically collapse within itself, and the old man fell unconscious at this moment, only surviving due to the water spirits aid.
The party reached the surface, and took a breath of fresh air, with the geezer seeming the most relieved, and confused. "I am free? I AM FREE!" the man exclaimed, dancing around to imaginary music. "I used that room for study in dimensions, and when I figured out their secrets, I was sucked into one, keeping me there until someone could break the seal. Thank you, knights." The old man was visibly glowing. "I shall reward your bravery with this bag of holding that I was able to make, and a whistle that I will be able to hear from any place in the world." The water spirit also came up to the knights, and gave them endlessly replenishing water skins for the whole army, as a reward for freeing his oasis from evil taint. The raggedy old man threw up a flying carpet from under his beard, and sailed the skies, waving to the companions all the while.

The army reached the oasis, and was informed on the deeds the knights had done, that was celebrated in the next day in a grand feast:
>Stay with the army from now on
>Keep on scouting ahead
>Write in

>>3427321
>>Stay with the army from now on

>>3427321
Keep on scouting ahead

>>3427321
>Keep on scouting ahead

>>3427424
>>3427429
>>3427464
The Knights decide to keep scouting ahead, with the king of Kekstantinople also joining them (though his bodyguard was not permitted). After a day of riding slowly across dunes and badlands, the scouting party saw it: a huge army, easily six times the size of the crusaders, with war elephants, war rhinos and laser shooting dinosaurs. The party turned their horses around, and galloped as fast as they could to the unsuspecting crusaders:
>Have them try to bypass the army
>Have the Crusaders attack in a charge, catching the enemy unaware
>Have the men fall back to the city
>Have the Crusaders stay and try to build up a defense

>>3429368
>Have them try to bypass the army

>>3429371
The party told the army that there was a huge force heading for the holy city, and that if we bypass them, we can take their capital a lot easier. August September, after talking with his generals, decided that this was the best option, and that if we act fast, the enemy won't know what hit 'em. For four days and four nights the men marched, and once they received word that the army had passed, rested for two whole days in camp. The city was within a days march, and the army wanted to know how to take it:
>Sneak in with a small group and open the gate
>Sapping
>Grappling hook climbing
>Trebuchets
>Ladders
>Siege towers
>Battering rams
>Siege beasts
Choose three options (or one or two options, but it's a greater version of them)
You already have War-Woman

>>3429541
>Sneak in with a small group and open the gate
>Siege beasts
Are we going to use War Woman anyway?

>>3429541
>Sneak in with a small group and open the gate
War woman once we're in.

>>3429541
>>3429546
>>3429552
The Knights opted to sneak into the castle through a secret entrance to open the gate from the other side. War-Woman will be used afternoon the next day, as the men would either have unlocked the gate or been captured. The generals allow this, and the scouts report a few entrances:
>Disguised through the front gate
>Through a storm drain under the city
>Swimming through the cities water source (though there will be metal bars in the way)
>Grappling hooks over the wall
>Bribing
Roll 1d20

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>3429971
>Through a storm drain under the city
Let's not contaminate the water source.

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>3429971
>>Grappling hooks over the wall

>>3429989
>>3430068
So unless someone can roll better than this, it will be an absolute failure

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>3432180
watch as my reroll vindicates me after >>3429989

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>3429971
>>Disguised through the front gate
A tree in the forest and all that

>>3429989
>>3430068
>>3432340
>>3432881
18 = success
The knights disguised themselves as refugees, allowing the friar to do all the talking, seeing as though he's the most unassuming and charismatic of the lot. Once they got in, they disappeared into the back allies, hiding and waiting. The party started to get ready at nightfall, traveling through the streets like shadows on the wall, eventually getting to where the opening mechanism for the gate is. They saw that it was guarded by three men, with one of them being so large that he could activate the thing single handedly:
>Challenge the huge man to a test of strength, and try to make them lower their guard (Chivalry)
>Attack the men (Dread)
>Lure them with the friar's antics (Moxy)
>Start a fire or something to bring the men out, as a diversion (Strategy)
Roll 1d20

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>3432929
>Lure them with the friar's antics (Moxy)

>>3432929
>Challenge the huge man to a test of strength, and try to make them lower their guard (Chivalry)

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>3432929
>>3432978

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>3432929
>>Challenge the huge man to a test of strength, and try to make them lower their guard (Chivalry)

>>3432937
>>3432978
>>3432980
>>3433053
14+1 (DC=17) = failure

Sir Paragon walked into the room, and challenged the large man to a test of strength, saying that if he wins he can have all Paragons gold. The man scoffs, and goes back to what he was doing, saying that "no weakling like you could stand a chance against me." Sir Paragon, after much boasting, got the man to agree, and they set up a table to arm wrestle at.
The strength tests did not go so well, and the giant man won almost all of them with flying colors, putting the knight to shame. "Aye, you have bested me, now we shall see who is the greater swordsman," Sir Paragon said, drawing Excelsior. Though the fight was over quickly, the guards managed to sound the alert first before being killed, making this siege a whole lot harder. The Knights pulled the lever, and the drawbridge opened, with Crusaders that waited on the other side charging through (though they met unexpected opposition), and War-Woman's boulders were heard soaring through the air overhead. The Knights decided to:
>Ran past the enemies men still disguised, so as to reach where the crown was
>Stay with the Crusaders to fight in the battle
>Write in

>>3435850
>Ran past the enemies men still disguised, so as to reach where the crown was
If we do not take the crown, the Crusade was a failure.

>>3435877
The Knights, pulling their cloaks close, ran past the commotion and towards the castle at the cities center. The party managed to push past the swarm of men running to guard the city, only getting a few side glances. Once there, they saw that only two incompetent guards were left guarding it:
>Fight past the remaining guards, reaching the top of the castle to challenge the vile king for the treasure he stole (Chivalry)
>Try to knock out the guards, using the Knights sneaky side to reach the top of the castle undetected (strategy)
>Try to scare the guards to calling reinforcements with the holy Knights awesome power, and lead them into a trap (dread)
Roll 1d20

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>3436239
>Fight past the remaining guards, reaching the top of the castle to challenge the vile king for the treasure he stole (Chivalry)

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>3436239
>Fight past the remaining guards, reaching the top of the castle to challenge the vile king for the treasure he stole (Chivalry)

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>3436239
>>Fight past the remaining guards, reaching the top of the castle to challenge the vile king for the treasure he stole (Chivalry)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FdnA4SyYzE

>>3436264
>>3436275
>>3436640
Writing

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>>3438663
9 +1 = 10 (failure)

The Knights attacked the first few guardsmen, taking them out with ease, and entered the castle, preparing for a jolly good fight. The first room had only a few men in it, which the party ended quickly, but the next room had at least thirty well-armed men in it. All the guards pointed their spears at the Knights, surrounding them, and forcing them to surrender. The company was brought upstairs to where the throne room was, and the crown. At the far end of the room sat an evil brooding sultan, with the crown resting upon his head.
"I am Darth-Sauron the Great, most evilest of evil kings, and ruler of the sand people. Tell me, adventurers, how did you plan on defeating me? Greatest and bestest of 'the Greats' that I am," the figure boomed from his throne.
"We have not come to duel you, oh most wrathful ruler, we have simply come to take the crown back to its rightful place," Sir Paragon replied.
The evil king stood up, dwarfing both you and all the guards with his height, "let these knights go; I want to see how they best me." The guards untied the bounds on the parties hands, letting them fight the king fairly:
>Use the last of the rat-poison as a distraction, so as to escape with the crown (strategy)
>Agree to the duel (chivalry)
>Pray to the thot of mercy for help (piety)
>Get all the knights to charge at him, outnumbering him (dread)
Roll 1d20

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>3438703
>Pray to the thot of mercy for help (piety)
IN GOD WE TRUST

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>3438703
>Pray to the thot of mercy for help (piety)

>>3438726
>>3438942
17 +3 = 20 (not a nat 20 tho)
Sir Paragon got to his knees, and looked up at the sky, praying to the thot of mercy for deliverance. To no one's surprise but the enemy, the angel descended, and gave mercy to the knights, by destroying the castle's roof, and sending a shining light of the rising sun into the room, blinding Darth-Sauron temporarily. She pushed the guards back into the previous room with telekinesis, locking it with a length of wood on this side, and then she left, saying: "too-da-loo."
>Attack the evil king while he's blinded (chivalry)
>Try to steal the crown while the king is blinded, calling upon the wizard to fly it out of there (Strategy)
Roll 1d20

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>3439100
>Attack the evil king while he's blinded (chivalry)
Nice

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>3439100
>Attack the evil king while he's blinded (chivalry)

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>>3439119

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>>3439119

>>3439109
>>3439119
>>3439143
Unfortunately, its the higher roll the better, so this 1 would mean something, but it don't
>>3439123

18 +1 = 19 (DC=19) = success
Sir Paragon ordered the knights to charge, and the friar to try and take the crown while the villain was blinded. The Knights jumped on the evil king, but only the magical blade Excelsior was able to do any damage to the fell thing. With a beastly roar, the half-blind king threw the knights off, making each of them hit the wall with sickening thuds.
The king pulled back his cloak to reveal full black armor, and looked around at the crippled knights, and pointed at Sir Dickred, saying: "You." With each footstep of the sand-people ruler, the ground cracked, as if he had hidden his power until now so as to seem human. Before the knights could do anything but watch, the king lifted up his great sword, and stabbed it through Sir Dickred's chest, lifting up the dead body on the blade like it weighed nothing. Sir Rocko yelled an ausie curse at the bastard, and ran with his axe raized, which the evil creature responded to by throwing Sir Dickred's impaled body at the kobold at mach speed, knocking him out.
Sir Paragon stood up, and held his sword at the king with both hands, which made the villain laugh more evilly than Dracula. Just as he was about to cleft Sir Paragon in twain, the king's crown was snatched right off his head by the friar behind him, who then proceeded to throw the thing in the bag of holding, and threw it up into the air. The fat man smiled as he blew the whistle, which quickly summoned the wizard to pick up the bag and fly away.

I meant as in that 1 would be a critical success if it was the lower the better for the rolls
>>3439204
"NOOO!!! My power, my IMMORTALITY!," the vile man yelled, reaching out to the flying carpet already too far away to reach. "You will pay dearly for that, fat man," Darth-Sauron said, walking slowly towards the friar who started walking backward, now with a red fire glowing from its eyes. Just before Darth-Sauron could kill the friar, a spear appeared in his back, thrown from the doorway once blocked. "YAAARGH!! Who did that? who dares attack Darth-Sauron, strongest of all big bad evil guys, while his back is turned?" The king said, after trying but failing to pull out the spear in his back. "I, king of Kekstantinople, challenge the black lord of this land," Pepe said, now making himself visible at the doorway, now knocked down, and with dead guards at his feet. "So be it, you chose to die valiantly," Darth-Sauron said, preparing his greatsword stance.
Sir Pepe drew his mace as his back-up weapon, and charged at the evil king, but ended up being thrown around like a rag-doll, though he got up every time he got knocked down [spoilers]like rocky[/spoilers].
"This little duel ends now," the villain said, standing over Pepe. Just as the blade was about to take another life, Sir Rocko jumped on the huge black knight's back, pushing the spear in his back deep enough to kill any man. Darth-Sauron flailed around with the kobold on his back, knocking the pillars and walls of the building down with his huge sword:
>Sir Paragon should attack with Excelsior
>Sir Paragon should try to get everyone out
>Sir Paragon should flee, so as to warn the other men
Roll 1d20

>>3439212
*Was meant to be like rocky

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>3439209
>>3439212
>Sir Paragon should attack with Excelsior

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>3439212
>Sir Paragon should attack with Excelsior
um, ok

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>>3439315

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>>3439315
LOOKS LIKE THE TABLES HAVE TURNED
Luckily he doesn't do critfails in this quest

>>3439119
>>3439315
>>3439318
Clearly, Darth-Sauron is trying to change fate with his dark magic. Do not let him make the knights critically fail

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>3439212
>>3439324
>>Sir Paragon should attack with Excelsior

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>>3439324
There's your change of fate, right there >>3439467

>>3439315
>>3439318
>>3439467
Writing

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>>3441592
19 is a success (DC=18)
Sir Paragon, seeing this as his chance to land a good blow in, charged at the unaware black knight, dodging his mad flailings. Paragon ducked under a huge swing of the villain's sword, and plunged his own into the visor of the gigantic king, so deep that he wasn't able to pull it out. The fell being stopped what he was doing, and just as he slowly went to pull out the sword going through his head, he fell over, dead. Sir Paragon ran over to the most injured, that being Sir Dickred, and held him like they do in movies when the young character full of hope dies on the battlefield, and cried the manliest tears imaginable. Sir Dickred spat up some blood, and asked: "tell my father of what I did on this day... tell him I died a hero." The young knight drew his last breath, and Sir Paragon carried his body out of that building, as well as Pepe's unconscious one on the other soldier, like a true Paragon of virtue!
>Charge at the guardsmen of this vile city, slaying as many as you can (chivalry)
>Show the crown to the Crusaders, and make the defending men fill with fear (dread)
>Have the party taken out of the city, and back to the camp using the magic carpet (strategy)
Roll 1d20

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>3441613
>Charge at the guardsmen of this vile city, slaying as many as you can (chivalry)
>Show the crown to the Crusaders, and make the defending men fill with fear (dread)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>3441613
>>Charge at the guardsmen of this vile city, slaying as many as you can (chivalry)
SIR DICKRED!!!!

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>3441620
>>3441689
A FEEBLE EFFORT

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>3441620
>>3441689
>>3441698
>4,3,2
I-if I rolled again would I get a 1?

>>3441620
>>3441689
>>3441698
>>3441700
I'll count the 17 (clearly because Darth-Sauron curses the Knights from beyond the grave)

17+1 = 18 (DC=16)

The able-bodied Knights in the group charged at the enemy line, attacking their flank with the fury of one-hundred men. After a few hours of cutting down unsuspecting soldiers, the day was won, and the crown was safe. August was told of the great battle at the castle, and the cruel fate of Sir Dickred. The young knight's body was to be taken back to the holy city of one hundred names, so as to be buried at the sacred place (something only the greatest of men receive). The army, under the orders of August September:
>Stayed and fortified the city
>Sacked the city, and returned home: this crusade is over
>Write in

>>3441723
>Stayed and fortified the city
Now we civilize them.

>>3441723
>>Stayed and fortified the city
It'll make a great forward base for any future campaigns.

>>3441725
>>3441726
The army, under the orders of August September, stayed and fortified the city, rebuilding its gate and houses. After a week of maintenance, the city was brought back to former strength, and all shrines to Darth-Sauron were replaced with shrines to the one and only god, with this new sect worshipping saint Dickred's holy tasks. Just as the Knights were about to finish reforming these pitiful sand people, the great and evil army seen earlier arrived on the horizon, with Lazor shooting dinosaurs and all. The son of Darth-Sauron: Darth-Deciduous was leading them:
>March the men out the meet the army, using the city as a fail safe (Chivalry)
>Stay in the city, and use War-Woman to bombard the enemy (Strategy)
Roll 1d20

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>3441829
>Stay in the city, and use War-Woman to bombard the enemy (Strategy)

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>3441829
>Stay in the city, and use War-Woman to bombard the enemy (Strategy)
>>3441840
Damn your foul spellcraft, Deciduous!

>>3441840
What is going on with these rolls?

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>3441829
Pray to God to strike down or otherwise remove their laser shooting dinosaurs.... and to dispell Darth-Sauron's evil curse. (Piety)

>>3441840
>>3441842
>>3441846
>>3441875
15 = Success (DC=15)

The men waited on the walls for the huge army to get close, and launched huge volleys from the giant trebuchet, which decimated the armies line, only for them to reform again. They reached close enough the now fully grown giant salamanders to let loose torrents of liquid fire, which repelled the army for a good few hours, only ending when the salamanders ran out of juice. After the lava had stopped, the enemy sent in their lazer dino's, who almost got through the wall, if not for Sir Paragon and crew stopping them with the holy ratpak poison, which temporary blinded the beasts when thrown. The battle waged on, with men dropping like flies, mostly on their side, but they had so many men that it didn't matter to them.
Just then, you heard it, a great "WAAAAAAGH!!!" from the other side of the enemy line. You saw Sir Grug leading a huge waaagh, as well as Sir Vickred and the lord of squalor's end leading peasant militia, and next to them was the elite forces of Hammerhat. The army charged down the hill, and clashed into the enemy flank, forcing them to stop their attack on the city:
>For Dickred! (Gather the army defending, and attack the army, capturing them in a hammer and anvil)
>Write in
Roll 1d20

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>3442170
>For Dickred! (Gather the army defending, and attack the army, capturing them in a hammer and anvil)

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>3442170
>>For Dickred! (Gather the army defending, and attack the army, capturing them in a hammer and anvil)

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>3442170
>>For Dickred! (Gather the army defending, and attack the army, capturing them in a hammer and anvil)

>>3442179
>>3442321
>>3442347
19 = success

New thread here:
>>3444069