>be LAWLESS

Your name is Trafalgar D. Water Law, Captain of the Heart Pirates of the Polar Tang. Son of to a sort-of-murdered couple. Brother to an also-sort-of-murdered sister. Sort-of-son to a definitely-murdered sort-of-father. And you will have your vengeance, as soon as it can be reasonably achieved.

You’re a surgeon, you’re not dumb enough to think rush jobs go well.

More importantly, right now you’ve landed yourself in one of the most absolutely stupid situations of the last couple of years.

On the one hand, you’ve got a good shot at acquiring a lot of veeeeery interesting information that you’re unlikely to get your hands on, otherwise - and all you have to do is fix up a Firefist Ace, ex-Whitebeard Commander and new -Shichibukai. Who injured him and how? Why is Vice-Admiral Garp so desperate to have him secretly healed that he’s relying on a pirate? You don’t know, and honestly, you don’t care, beyond having it not bite you in the ass.

On the OTHER hand, it’s already biting you in the ass. The Marine ship got sunk somehow? Fine. Not a big deal, and just leaves them more dependant on you, even if they have to stay aboard the Tang. Not a huge deal. An extra... guest? Suspicious, definitely needs an eye kept on him, but tolerable considering the rewards.

The Commander is question being an annoying dumbass who’s likely acquired his rank through either a family member or, considering he’s pretty enough, fucking someone important? You can deal with that. He’ll be here for a couple of days, and then gone. Aggravating, but you’ve got enough self-control to not snap and murder him. At least the two infantry seem to be relatively normal.

And then he’s apparently eaten some kind of new Devil Fruit, which he’s too much of an idiot to have got under control.

(1/2)

All right, that’s better than your first assumption when oyou charged in, post-surgery, at the sound of Barra’s screams; at least it’s sheer stupidity rather than an actual attack, but it’s still left you with an unconscious (and semi-fried) crewmember, the common area charred (good thing you keep your books in your own quarters), and the fact that Vice-Admiral Garp somehow decided not to mention the officer he was sending is a Devil Fruit user. If it’s that new, you suppose he COULD not know about it. Maybe. The kid seems like the kind of moron who’d somehow neglect to mention that before being sent on this mission, considering he can’t even control it.

The real problem is that grin from earlier, the one that made your senses blare in warning, and that blond hair...

But that’s ridiculous. If Donquixote Doflamingo had a son, he’d sure as hell not be a Marine. That would be ridiculous. Right?

You stand in the middle of an electricity-scarred room, with a growing headache.

>Get Barra to the medical bay and leave the idiot Marine on the floor. You didn’t hit him all that hard, he’ll wake up eventually.
>Get both of them to the medical bay, and let the Marines know what happened.
>Get Barra to the medical bay, and ‘Flashman’ (if that’s his real name) to a cell with some seastone. Good luck losing control with that around him.
>Other?

>>3654809
>>Get Barra to the medical bay and leave the idiot Marine on the floor. You didn’t hit him all that hard, he’ll wake up eventually.
Ahhhh witness that sweet, sweet brotherly love. I'm tearing up over here.

>>3654809
>>Get both of them to the medical bay, and let the Marines know what happened.
>Also check how badly the books got damaged, the rest of the crew keeps their personal collections there

Dont want those marines thinking we double crossed them or some shit

>>3654809
>Get both of them to the medical bay, and let the Marines know what happened.

>>3654826
Support

>>3654826
Plus 1
He can't do much without his arms anyways

>>3654826
Sure, I support

>>3654809
>>3654826
This

>>3654809
>Get Barra to the medical bay and leave the idiot Marine on the floor. You didn’t hit him all that hard, he’ll wake up eventually.
Didn't we all agree to keep the devil fruit knowledge to ourselves? If Lawless blabs to the marines we have a logia we can kiss the white mist goodbye.

>>3654890
We have paramecia dude duh

>Roll 1d100 best of 3

BOOKS

Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>3654906
Learn a thing

Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>3654906
lets go

Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>3654906

>>3654909
>>3654910
>>3654911
Impressive 6s!

>>3654906
>666

This means law found the REALLY BAD AND UNHOLY stuff

>>3654916
Poor Barra.

>protect the books
>(also do something with the dumbasses, whatever)

Taking a moment to mourn the brain cells you’ve lost through this blatant stupidity, you check the books.

(60)

Amazingly, the books aren’t totally destroyed. Well, some are totally unreadable, burned or charred, but they’re mostly the ones closer to where Mister Flashman was standing/falling/panicking. More than half the books seem to be just fine.

It’s not a great result, but... it could be worse.

More importantly is your crew. Barra seems to be fine, or you’d have rushed straight to him, though you check his pulse and breathing, and peel his eyelids back just in case. All good, thankfully.

Oh, and then you check the idiot Marine, after reattaching his arms. Unfortunately, he’s fine too. Hopefully he’ll have a blinding headache when he wakes.

Ignoring the porn (yeah, it’s Barra’s badly-hidden stash he thinks no-one knows about) lying around, you sling the two idiots over your shoulders and carry them into the hall.

“Uh,” says Penguin, lingering outside, and now eyeing your unfortunate burdens.

“Tell the Marines their Commander is an idiot, and now in the medical bay. He’ll be fine,” You brusquely order him, because you’re not in the mood for chatty. You’d rather ‘accidentally’ have the Tang surface and toss Mister Flashman out to be lost somewhere in the ocean.

Calm, Law. Cool, calm, collected.

“Right, right,” Penguin mumbles, around a mouthful of - is that a cookie? “You have fun with that. Try not to kill him.”

“No promises,” you mutter, stomping towards the medical bay with fantasies of removing the Commander’s vocal cords. And brain. If he has one.

>Call the Vice-Admiral. Maybe you can get something else in apology for this little disaster.
>Try and get Barra awake.
>Try and get the Marine awake.
>Other?
>>3654916
He found Bepo’s bear-porn, and promptly gouged his own eyes out.

>>3654922
Barra is a buttmonkey equivalent to Lolonoa Zolo.

>>3654945
>wake them both up and find out whose fault it was

He shocked me and was snooping!

>He stole my innocence and tackled me!

IT'S HIS FAULT
>IT'S HIS FAULT

>>3654971
Support

>>3654971
+1

>>3654945
>>Try and get Barra awake.
Why would we wake up the walking disaster?

>>3654971
support

>>3654971
Kek, support

>it’s automatically the marine’s fault

After having laid the two morons out in the medically bay, you pop a painkiller for your head and try to figure out whether you should let them sleep it off.

Yeah, right.

You’ll probably have the other Marines in here soon anyway, demanding an explanation, so you might as well get the story first. Knowing Barra and having met Mister Flashman for longer than five seconds, you suspect both of them are at fault, but if you can stop this from becoming a diplomatic clusterfuck, that’d be great.

>Roll 2 (that’s TWO) d100, best of 3 for waking the dumbasses

Rolled 27, 51 = 78 (2d100)

>>3655001

Rolled 10, 57 = 67 (2d100)

>>3655001

Rolled 13, 86 = 99 (2d100)

>>3655001

One is a rock.

>27, 86

A few more tests on Barra makes you decide to leave him be for the moment. Getting electrocuted isn't exactly safe, and honestly, you're nonaureyou want to deal with both of them at the same time anyway.

You DO need to wake Mister Flashman up in case his men come, though, and from the looks of things, he shouldn't be suffered anything worse than a severe headache. Maybe a minor concussion. Considering how badlynhis brain functions anyway, it's not really a big deal.

A speedy injection, and you step back to a decent range in case he wakes up flailing or zapping, ready to make a Room or draw your sword, as needed.

He twitches, groaning the long, agonized groan of a man who really shouldn't be awake yet. Good.

>Mister Flashman, would you like to explain why you electrocuted one of my men?
>Is there a reason you thought it would be a good idea to come aboard my sub without a handle on your Devil Fruit, Mister Flashman?
>Do I need to remove your arms again?
>Other?

>>3655196
>>Mister Flashman, would you like to explain why you electrocuted one of my men?

>>3655196
>>Is there a reason you thought it would be a good idea to come aboard my sub without a handle on your Devil Fruit, Mister Flashman?

>>3655204
Support

>>3655196
>Mister Flashman, would you like to explain why you electrocuted one of my men?

>>3655196
>Is there a reason you thought it would be a good idea to come aboard my sub without a handle on your Devil Fruit, Mister Flashman?

>>3655215
Unsupport

>>3655196
>Is there a reason you thought it would be a good idea to come aboard my sub without a handle on your Devil Fruit and then proceed to electrocute one of my men, Mister Flashman?

>>3655196
>Is there a reason you thought it would be a good idea to come aboard my sub without a handle on your Devil Fruit, Mister Flashman?

>>3655196
>Is there a reason you thought it would be a good idea to come aboard my sub without a handle on your Devil Fruit, Mister Flashman?

>oniisan is unimpressed

You keep your voice polite, casual even, suppressing your urge to separate some limbs. "Is there a reason you thought it would be a good idea to come aboard my sub without a handle on your Devil Fruit, Mister Flashman?"

He opens bleary eyes, wincing and blinking at the lights, before managing to move his head enough to look at you properly.

At least he SEEMS ashamed. "Um," the Marine mumbles, before wincing again at his own volume. "Well. I figured... if I didn't attempt to use it, it wouldn't actually... do anything?"

Your eyes narrow at this blatant stupidity. "And you didn't even bother to let me know you had an untrained Devil Fruit. Nor did Mister Garp, as a matter of fact. Exactly how long have you had it?"

You feel a little better at how guilty he looks. "A few days..."

"And what Devil Fruit is it, exactly?

>Roll 1d100, best of 3
Do yo' best convincing, Flashy!

DC 90

Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>3655322

Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>3655322

Rolled 98 (1d100)

come on flashy needs some luck

>>3655330

the big bluff

>>3655330
Inb4 Flashman becomes Phoenix Wright

>>3655330
Bullshit thrusters to the max!

...Actually, that sounds a little disgusting and i regret ever thinking of such a phrase.

Do we get a bonus to Flashy's bullshitting skill from this?

>diggity darn, a 98

Mister Flashman squints at you, still dazed from a pommel to the head. "Devil...? Oh. Yeah, it's a Static Paramecia, but... I dunno, I think I just build up charge or something? An' then if it goes on for too long..." He makes a small, awkward motion that might be supposed to be a volt of electricity.

You roll your eyes and huff, hands relaxing now you can see he's probably not going to lose control again. Yet. A Static Paramecia is... not the weakest one you've ever heard of, and any Devil Fruit can be dangerous - as Barra certainly knows - but it's nothing you can't handle.

He's still a moron who skipped out on proper training, though.

>Continue as Doctor Oniisan
>Become the Flashmeister
>Turn into a beautiful butterfly (aka someone else)

>>3655337
OBJECTION

>>3655348
I'm going to be rejigging quite a few skills, including Bullshitting and Diplomacy, and will probably post the revamps when Bob reappears next Friday/Saturday/whenever. So consider Bullshit obsolete for the moment.

>>3655357
>Continue as Doctor Oniisan

>>3655357
>>Turn into a beautiful butterfly (aka someone else)
>Klaus

>>3655357
>Continue as Doctor Oniisan

>>3655357
>Continue as Doctor Oniisan

>>3655357
>Continue as Doctor Oniisan

>>3655357
>Continue as Doctor Oniisan

could buggy split his body into a cloud of molecules using his devil fruit?

Rolled 19, 27 = 46 (2d100)

>>3655001

>continue hating bread

Stepping forward, you eye the Marine carefully. No injuries you can see (beyond the one you inflicted), so if he got in a fight with Barra, at least he can't complain too much. He'll be immune to his own Devil Fruit, so that shouldn't be a concern either.

It's still tempting to remove a limb or four, but you're self-aware enough to admit that would be entirely for your own satisfaction rather than self-protection.

"You may not have noticed," you bluntly state, "but also in a less-than-perfect condition is one of my men. The one you electrocuted. I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist on an explanation for that one, Mister Flashman, as I'm not in the habit of letting Marines attack my men. It tends to offend me." You smile toothily, your carefully-practiced predator one, as the Marine notices Barra.

>(Flashy explanation?)

>>3655424
Probably if he Awakened it.

>I was searching the bookcase for something to read, moved a book finding his pornstash, he panicked and tackled me, my static went off and then you found us

>>3655432
>I accidentally found his porn while looking for something to read, then he tackled me. Caused me to panic and lose control.

>>3655432
>>3655440
Support. If we can work in our poor lost innocence somewhere in there that would be great.

>>3655432
>So... I was looking thru your book collection
>And there I picked one called ‘Post-Graduate Ethical Theory’
>It was cut out and and inside there were... na- naked man
>And t-they were with with there and doing things with eachother
>Oh no nonononon I cannot unseen this dear god
>...
>T-Then Barra jump on me I panicked and here we are

more or less something like this

My english is shity I know

>>3655488
Eh Flashy seems pretty comfortable with sexuality related things (going by the super early threads where he doesn't get annoyed by Klaus teasing him over liking strawberry ice cream).

I can see him going "ewwww I found somebodies stash gross" but not "ewwww guy/guy" specifically.

Early night, sorry guys, I gotta get up early tomorrow. Thanks for playing THE ADVENTURES OF DOCTOR ONIISAN: THE MYSTERY OF THE MORONIC MARINE. Now available on Steam!

>>3655497
I think we were teasing Klaus about finding girl. Then he wanted to tell Flashy about "The birds and the bees" and he got frustrated and run. I might misrebering tho

>>3655488
i support but more like this >>3655497
its kind of disgusting leaving porn in public they have hold in there hand while they masturbate and getting possibly cum and pre on it

>>3655432
>>3655440
+1

>>3655440
Support

>>3655432
>I was searching the bookcase for something to read, moved a book finding his pornstash, he panicked and tackled me, my static went off and then you found us

>>3655432
>I was searching the bookcase for something to read, moved a book finding his pornstash, he panicked and tackled me, my static went off and then you found us

>

The Marine shuffles a little on the medical cot, although your smile doesn't get much more of a response. "I was searching the bookcase for something to read," he begins, "moved a book and found his porn-stash, he panicked and tackled me, my static went off aaaaad then you found us."

..... "That's it?"

He nods jerkily, looking awkward. "Yeah. Just... I was surprised."

"You electrocuted half the room because- You stop, reaching up to run your forehead instead, taking a deep breath of filtered air. You're fairly certain he isn't lying, but it'll be easy to the k when Barra wakes up, anyway. "Mister Flashman, I understand and accept that my crewman shouldn't have... accosted you. But unless you can promise me you sent going to lose control again, I'm going to have to either confine you to the assigned cabin, or have you wear seast-"

The footsteps you've been hearing stop outside the door, which attractsnyour gaze as it's shoved open.

The extra not-a-Marine, likely with his rat somewhere. Delightful.

"Oh, he's not dead," Mister Ratcatcher says breezily, with a quick look over at Mister Flashman, who shoots him a pair of pathetic puppy-eyes.

>Sadly, no. Please take him away.
>We were just discussing options to make sure it stays that way.
>Neither is my crewman, whom he electrocuted, so that's nice.
>Other?

>>3657935
>>We were just discussing options to make sure it stays that way.

>Neither is my crewman, whom he electrocuted, so that's nice.

>>3657935
>>We were just discussing options to make sure it stays that way.

>>3657935
>>Neither is my crewman, whom he electrocuted, so that's nice.

>>3657935
>We were just discussing options to make sure it stays that way.

>doctor of assholery

"We were just discussing options to make sure it stays that way," you hint, ever-so-nicely.

The non-Marine smiles at you, syrup-sweet, and you carefully refrain from drawing a weapon. He's absolutely overloaded with swords himself, in much the same way the Commander is laden with a variety of weaponry. "Is his staying alive going to be a concern?"

"If he ends up hurting more of my crew, yes." You lazily motion your head towards Barra, still laid out. "Considering he was hurling sparks around to the point of setting his own coat on fire..."

Mister Flashman's eyes widen as he quickly jerks his attention over his coat, before finally catching sight of the massive scorch marks on one shoulder. They hadn't been too hard to put out, luckily. "Oops?"

"Yeah... sounds like him..." the Ratcatcher mutters, with a despondent edge to his voice. At least the idiot doesn't just misbehave here, from the sound of it. "Okay, fine, I won't let him out of sight while we're here. How's your, uh, injured guy?"

"Electrocuted. But alive." It goes without saying that if he weren't, the Marines would be down a Commander, accident or not.

>Consider him confined to the cabin for the rest of the day, thank you.
>In exchange for a few answers, I could perhaps forget about this unfortunate incident...
>In light of this, I'll be expecting an early payment of my papers.
>Other?

>>3658037
>>In exchange for a few answers, I could perhaps forget about this unfortunate incident...

>>3658037
>>In exchange for a few answers, I could perhaps forget about this unfortunate incident...

>>3658037
>>>In exchange for a few answers, I could perhaps forget about this unfortunate incident...

>>3658037
>In exchange for a few answers, I could perhaps forget about this unfortunate incident...

>>3658037
>In exchange for a few answers, I could perhaps forget about this unfortunate incident...

>>3658037
>In exchange for a few answers, I could perhaps forget about this unfortunate incident...

Heading back for a while, update soonish.

>What questions to ask?
Can be a request for specific info re. Doffy, or can dig for info on who Flashy's father is, etc. Otherwise I'll just decide questions myself.

>How much do you know about your parents?

>>3658118
>Dig for info on firefist.
>Ask about flashy’s father
>Honestly ask the hobo on what the idiot did to cheat his way to his current rank.

>>3658118
>>3658138
this seems good

>>3658138
yeah this

>>3658118
>Ask what Flashman knows about his father
Then when Flashman answers with *shrug emoji*
>Was his father ever pirate?

>>3658138
>>3658118
This, but I would ask in a different order. I would ask how he got his rank first, then about Ace, then about his parents. The first 2 are kind of related, and I want to allow whatever comes of the family question to be able to expand rather than be sandwiched between other questions.

>>3658157
Support

>>3658118

>>3658138
Supporting these questions
>>3658157
But in this order

>Roll 1d100, best of 3 to find out how much of what Klaus says re. Flashy's rank is sheer bullshit for his own entertainment

Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>3658201

Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>3658201

Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>3658201

Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>3658201

Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>3658201

>>3658209
Law is a master of interogation. It must be his impecable bedside manner.

>>3658217
Law is now having another internal freak out at how this idiot apparently CAPTURED A WHITEBEARD COMMANDER BEFORE EVEN HAVING A DEVIL FRUIT

>>3658217
No, this means that Klaus' explanation has a high level of bullshit to it. Ostensibly this is for your own privacy, but really it's because Klaus is a dick.

>>3658221
ok so we are now the secret love child of kizaru with a pirate, became a commander by beating Garp in an arm wrestle and firefist is our secret lover

>>3658253
........... yes, this is exactly it. And your pirate mother is... Whitey Bay. Don't ask how that works.

>>3658293
Whitey bay is so cool, I hope she shows up again.

>>3658253
Somehow sounds more plausible than our actual origin story lol.

>20 questions

"In exchange for a few answers, I could perhaps forget about this unfortunate incident..."

The idiot opens his mouth, but Mister Ratcatcher - what WAS his name, anyway? - jumps in first. You suspect his official title is 'babysitter'. He at least realizes that you could quite easily cause a host of problems by going up the Marine rank ladder and mentioning this little deal with the Vice-Admiral. "Ask away! Can't promise we'll have the answers, though."

You nod. "Lets start with something simple, to assuage my curiosity, Mister... Ex-Marine." It'll do. "Exactly how this man attain the rank of Commander?"

The idiot twitches, slumping. "Hey... that's kind of rude!"

"It's a number of things," Mister Ratcatcher says, so smoothly that he's obviously lying. "You see, Harry here is actually the son of Admiral Kizaru and Whitey Bay -"

"What," says the idiot.

"- which got him graduating from the Marine Academy despite never actually attending. To be honest, I don't think he knows how to read."

"What," says the idiot.

"He was assigned under Garp, who he drunkenly challenged to an arm-wrestling competition, and somehow ended up winning because he was so drunk he forgot his arm was capable of movement."

"Whaaaaat...?" says the idiot.

"Because of that, he was promoted to Commander, and sent on this mission because Cinders is his secret lover."

"... Isn't Whitey Bay, like, in her twenties..." the idiot wonders, apprently ignoring all the stupidity in favor of possibly the least dumbass part of it.

"To be fair, you're mentally about five," Mister Ratcatcher clarifies, actually sounding amused rather than cruel, despite his words. The idiot flips him off.

Right. A nonsense answer, where a simple truth would do. So either it's something highly classified - perhaps he found something embarrassing about a higher-up, and they needed to keep his mouth shut - or he really IS related to someone important.

Like, say, a Shichibukai.

You feel your stomach roil.

"What a thorough answer." You speak coolly, ignoring the older man's innocent smile. "Perhaps one you might willing to answer a little more... accurately, then. Exactly why did Firefist become a Shichibukai, when to be best of my knowledge, the Whitebeard pirates are... rather devoted to their belief in family?"

The pair of them eye each other.

>(Truth about Abs and Luffy being brothers? Pretend to have no idea why Abs became a Shichibukai? Blatant lie?)

>>3658370
You started out just as Rosi's son, but sugar and dice did the rest... (sob sob)

>>3658437
>Pretend to have no idea why Abs became a Shichibukai
Abs is REFORMED, I'll have you know! A true marine in heart and spirit!

>>3658437
>>Truth about Abs and Luffy being brothers.
I don't think Abs will care if we tell him.

>>3658437
>Keep quiet on Ace and Luffy being brothers
>Pretend to have no idea why Abs became a Shichibukai
>Please address all other queries about this topic to Marine Vice Admiral Garp and Marine HQ

If the truth about Ace+Luffy gets out both Abs and Garp will be coming for Flashman's pretty little head, since iirc Flashman is the only one of the group how knows and thus the only one who could leak it.

>>3658473
This. Ball, meet Garp's court.

>>3658473
supporting

>Roll 1d100 best of 3 for 'lol I dunno'
DC 65 to be convincing

>>3658482
The ball is a cannonball.

>>3658473
Luffy and Abs being brothers isn't a secret. Both of them will happily admit it if you ask them.

Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>3658498
DC65? What could go wrong.

Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>3658498

Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>3658498

>>3658508
Wow flashy is the best at being the idiot!

>>3658501
True, though you're not actually sure if it's supposed to be a secret or not. Luffy happily admitted it in Skypiea, but he thought he was telling a fellow pirate. Plus... it's Luffy.

>93, shame

"We... don't really know," the idiot admits, practically folding in on himself. "I mean, that's way above my paygrade, and it's not like I need to know that stuff to play escort... I guess ask him or Garp, if you really wanna know?"

Unsurprising, really. Frustrating, but who would trust him with potentially dangerous information? All the same, it's annoying how little information you're getting, but... maybe you can at least put one ridiculous, niggling suspicion to rest. "Fine," you say shortly, your mind ticking back to That Grin, the one you last saw on- "Last question... forgetting that Kizaru crap, who are your parents, Mister Flashman?"

>(Clear things up or drag him down the wrong trail? Your choice!)

I'll be hanging around a little longer but likely no more updates tonight, sorry. Thanks for playing, we'll be back to Flashy PoV tomorrow unless you want to be Oniisan for a while longer.

>>3658586
>”I dunno. Was raised in an orphanage.”
No real reason to disguise this, yeah?

>>3658586
>I honestly don't know, I grew up in an orphange
>From my dad's watch I know was a marine and had a name starting with R but that's it
>Why are YOU asking?

Let's throw our dear brother a bone after the steady stream of bullshit we've being throwing at him.

>>3658604
Support

>>3658586
>”I dunno. Was raised in an orphanage.”

>>3658604
Support

>>3658604
+1

>>3658586
>>3658604
This. THIS. THIIIS.

>>3658604
Support

>>3658604
It's a compass tho, not a watch.

>>3658586
>>3658604
+1
Law might be sharp enough to make the connection.

>>3658604
this

>>3658630
Oh right. Well, that, then.

>>3658630
Shit you're right. Time to commit sudoku for my sins

Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>3658633
>"... and that's when I got kidnapped by Trafalgar Lawless!"
>Smoboss shovels twenty cigars into his mouth and tries not to strangle you

>>3658633
>>3658701
The "I can't believe my newly discovered little brother is this fucking stupid" quest is off to a good start I see

>>3658604
Compass, not watch aside from that support

>>3658586
I’d like to get hit with Lawless’s reaction before switching back to Flashy, personally.

>>3658721
Between Flashy and Luffy, poor Lawless' brain is going to melt out of his ears.

>>3659073
Well hang onto him for a bit longer, as the horrible suspicions percolate into a foul sludge of hideous realisation.

>Roll 1d100, best of 3

Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>3660581

Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>3660581

Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>3660581

>>3660585
Maybe thats enough for a smart doctor like him to put those pieces together.

>>3660751
It is, but updates later due to RL.

Please
>Roll 1d100 best of 3
This is an Abs roll, so I'm expecting 3 nat1s.

Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>3660835

Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>3660835
bop

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>3660835
>nat1
Lets go.

>>3660843
You have all failed me, but you most of all.

Disgusting.

>>3660843
D-did Lawless remove abs' Jobbing gland?

>>3660847
Hopefully Law then proceeded to quickly torpedo the thing into a trench.

>>3660843
M-my god. Thus is the power of three D's in one area... even Fireplace Abs can pull off not jobbing...

I think it's based on sides as well, you know! See, Blackbeard, Abs, and Garp were all in the same area, but Blackbeard (a single D, odd number) did well against Abs and Garp (two D's, even number) who fucking shit themselves.

>>3660847
........

>Roll 1d100, best of 3 to see if the jobbing gland was successfully removed

COME ON NAT 1

Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>3660871

Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>3660871
bop!

Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>3660871
I believe in doctor oniisan

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>3660871

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>3660871

>>3660874
>>3660876
>>3660876
This is the end Fireplace is jober no more. Im just wating for the thing that kills us now. I bet we choke on candy.

>>3660929
Stairs or gravity in general.

>>3660968
Nah, that's Zolo. Our bane is rooftops.

>>3660989
Fool! As Zolololo's eternal rival, we're destined to be taken by gravity.

>>3661007
You will be kidnapped by gravity as part of Zololololololololol's character arc, and he will have to face his fear of it and come to terms with Kuina's death in order to save you. He will also achieve Bankai, which takes the form of a giant rooftop, thus confirming your roles as Etelnar Livars.

Zolo's just jealous that flashman ran to gravity his way off Skypia instead of fighting with him

>>3661018
I mean, an eternal liver sounds pretty good: imagine all the pink flamingos we could down without an hangover!

>>3661167
You wouldn't keep an eternal liver for long. Whitebeard would come to take it from you so he could finally keep drinking without his sons/nurses bitching at him.

>oniisan is the smart one of the family, you

The idiot shrugs, followed by a slight wince as he carefully pushes himself further upright. Well, it's not as if a head injury will do him any real damage. "I honestly don't know, I grew up in an orphange," he explains, a little too cheerfully. That... fails to sway your concerns one way or the other, but he goes on. "From my dad's engraved compass I know was a Marine and had a name starting with R, but that's it."

A Marine, that definitely leaves.out Doflamingo, assuming he's correct and not lying, and the R initial-

Wait.

Your heart thuds, loud and almost painful, for a few beats before you force it to calm, skin prickling. Marine. Initial R. Blond hair, although that could be from the mother. That grin, though. His burning coat. And the age is... he looks about right.

Your hand spasms, clenching, before you get it under control, eyes calm and lips straight.

It's impossible.

He looks at you with big, stupid, curious eyes. "Why are YOU asking?"

Of course Cora-san would never- not if he KNEW about the kid. But an orphanage? If he didn't know... as a man, of course he wouldn't be guaranteed to immediately know if he had a kid. It's still impossible, though. Ridiculous. The chances of... of that even...

"Hellooooooo?"

You blink.

>Apologies, I just remembered I need to check on Barra. You're free to go.
>Show me the compass.
>(Fuck it. Grab him and stare him in the eyes like a crazy person)
>Other?

>>3661394
>(Fuck it. Grab him and stare him in the eyes like a crazy person)
>Show me the compass.

>>3661394
>>Apologies, I just remembered I need to check on Barra. You're free to go.

>>3661394
>>(Fuck it. Grab him and stare him in the eyes like a crazy person)
>>Show me the compass.

>>3661394
>(Fuck it. Grab him and stare him in the eyes like a crazy person)
>Show me the compass.

>>3661394
>>(Fuck it. Grab him and stare him in the eyes like a crazy person)
>>Show me the compass.
>try to smile, not like you're trying to not look angry but more like you're thinking of someone you care about

>>3661402
>>3661402
this


IT IS TIME

Is this the part where Flashy learns his heritage?

Rolled 40, 32, 62, 54, 100 = 288 (5d100)

Rolls for background stuff, ignore.

Probably no updates on Thursday, by the way, I'll be back in London to drink Pimms and look at skinned bodies. Hopefully not at the same time.

>>3661431
IT MIGHT BE

>>3661433
>100
OH BOY

>>3661431
I hope not, it doesn't really fit with the mood right now.

>>3661433
>100

.................... oh come the fuck on

>>3661436
Suspicions have been raised, but it depends whether Lawless wants to mention them or not. After all, he has no actual proof of anything just yet, so why jump to conclusions?

Plus, this Flashman guy is an idiot.

>>3661441
what was teh 100 for?

>>3661442
It's the duck isn't it?

>>3661442
It's so fucking stupid I don't even want to say it. Let's just say it involves the Strawhats. And I hate them all.

>mfw oniisan finally snaps~

Somehow, you feel yourself lunging forwards against all expectations, hands grabbing at his collar and shoving your face up to his, staring him right in his (too green, not Cora-san's) panicked eyes.

"Show me the compass," you bluntly state. It's not a request, or even an order. Just something you're going to make inevitable.

Right up until something cool and sharp rests gently against the side of your neck, and you twitch your annoyed gaze in the direction of the interruption.

"Hands off my student, please," Mister Ratcatcher says, still smiling pleasantly.

"Uh," says the idi- the Marine, his own eyes flicking between the two of you. "I, um. The compass is kind of... personal. And Klaus, maybe we can all try not killing each other? That sounds like a good plan. I like that plan."

You eye the blade, frustration rising.

>Regardless of anything else, Mr Flashman, I do need to see that compass.
>... Perhaps I got a little carried away. (Let go of him.)
>I just need to know what the engraving says. I have no intention of... doing anything with it.
>Other?

AND

>Stay doctory
>Become flashy
>Transform and roll out into someone else

>>3661484
>Become flashy

>>3661484
>Regardless of anything else, Mr Flashman, I do need to see that compass. (Let go of him.)

AND

>Become flashy

>>3661484
>I just need to know what the engraving says. I have no intention of... doing anything with it.
>Become flashy

>>3661484
>>I just need to know what the engraving says. I have no intention of... doing anything with it.
>Become flashy

>>3661484
>>... Perhaps I got a little carried away. (Let go of him.)
>>Regardless of anything else, Mr Flashman, I do need to see that compass.
>>I just need to know what the engraving says. I have no intention of... doing anything with it.
Don't see why these can't all happen.

And
>>Become flashy

>>3661484
>I just need to know what the engaving says. I have no intention of... doing anything with it.
>Become Flashy
>-Say Yes. SAY YES.

>>3661484
>>I just need to know what the engraving says. I have no intention of... doing anything with it.
>Become flashy

>>3661484
>>I just need to know what the engaving says. I have no intention of... doing anything with it.

>Become Flashy

>>3661484
>>... Perhaps I got a little carried away. (Let go of him.)
>Transform and roll out into someone else

>>3661484
>I just need to know what the engraving says. I have no intention of... doing anything with it.
>Become flashy

>>3661484
>>Transform and roll out into someone else

>Optimus prime

>you have become the grand line's greatest superhero... the FLASHMAN

"I just need to know what the engaving says," Lawless says, eyes turning back to yours. They're yellow, and really damn creepy and intense. Oh, and the bags under them are huge. Seriously, does he sleep? Ever? "I have no intention of... doing anything with it."

You rapidly blink, trying to figure out what the hell is actually happening. The headache courtesy of sword-to-the-head isn't helping matters.

>I... okay? (Recite the engraving)
>........ Why?
>Kiiiinda creepin' me out here, Doctor-Captain Lawless.
>Other?

>>3661531
starscream 4eva

>>3661534
>I... okay? (Show him the engraving)

>>3661534
>no u

>>3661534
>Show him.

>>3661534
>>I... okay? (SHOW him the engraving)
Pls be good to your brother during his mental breakdown Flashy

>>3661534
>>I... okay? (Recite the engraving)

>>3661543
but then law can't get married.

>>3661540
+1

>>3661540
+1

>>3661540
Support

>>3661540
dis

>>3661550
It's okay he can be marriage-less forever together with Flashy, who's already had his innocence stolen by that degenerate Barra.

>>3661534
>I... okay? (Show him the engraving)

Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>3661550
No-one's going to marry a filthy bread-hater, anyway.

Also, as a surgeon, I'm pretty sure Lawless has seen a lot of dicks. Miles of them. Long than the Red Line.

Rolling to see how singularly unaffected Lawless is by the sight of dicks.

I can't wait for Lawless to accidentaly break the compass, causing Flashy to reflexively destroy the entire subpirate.

Rolled 100 (1d100)

Phew, just archived previous thread as it was two quests from dropping out. Yikes. Lesson learned.

>>3661604
Rolling for subpirate destruction.

By the way, because you nat100d on Zolo, he's also officially had his surname changed to Lolonoa, so enjoy.

File: 1520119226688.png (147 KB, 290x255)

147 KB PNG

>>3661621

>>3661621
>Nat 100
A m a z i n g

>Officially Lolonoa Zolo
My fucking sides.

>>3661621
..........

Um.

>>3661621
I CAN'T BELIEVE EVERYONE IS FUCKING DEAD

>>3661621
... can we ignore this? or at least let it happen *after* Fireplace has his surgery?

>>3661631
Calm down it only happens if Law breaks compass

>>3661621
... Let's just treat this like the joke roll it is, to describe a purely hypothetical situation that obviously isn't going to happen.

>>3661639
I mean. I WANT to ignore it. But I gave you the Acid Fruit based on a joke nat100, same with the Lolonoa Zolo, so I'm not sure I can ignore this and keep being fair. I mean, I can't pick and choose which nat1s/100s I accept, right? What if it angers the Dice Gods?

....... Can definitely be after Fireplace is recovered, though. And hopefully not your fault. Seasus Cod.

The previous 100 was a Merry roll, by the way. I think she sucked up the poor Polar Tang's luck.

>>3661650
>But I gave you the Acid Fruit based on a joke nat100, same with the Lolonoa Zolo, so I'm not sure I can ignore this and keep being fair.
But that was only to check if the sub would be destroyed in the situation where Law destroys the compass. Obviously you need to roll to see if that happens first.

Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>3661621
It was a roll for subpirate destruction, not for doctor oniisan reflexes! It's still just a what if!

Roll for law reflexes

Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>3661656
...He's a D., so he gets best of 3, right?

>>3661650
Is it Mihawk time?

>>3661650
Go by rule of fun.
Is destroying the ship and everyone dying fun?

Maybe, but only for a second. Then it ruins everything.
Is giving an idiot an acid logia fun? Yes, and it doesn't kill everyone unless you, as the QM, let it.

>>3661656
>>3661659
Wew lad

>>3661655
Valid, I'll roll to see if Law somehow breaks your compass via a nat1, and IF that somehow happens, Flashy will lose control and destroy the entire subpirate.

Then I'll cry myself to an eternal sleep from the stupidity.

>>3661660
That was my original thought, actually. Slicey-dicey Mister Mihawk.

>>3661668
Still OP, you're rolling a bizzarre amount of nat100s. Did you grab someone else's luck?

Did anyone see OnePieceBaka?

>>3661650
Lawless didn't remove Abs jobbing gland....Abs merely transferred it to the Tang though the power of D's and bullshit...

>>3661673
Nope, no sir. Never once.
I just got here.

>>3661668
like law is dropping us off at random island, and mihawk just sails by, the sunlight reflects off the periscope annoying him so he cuts the subpirate in half and they are stuck with us in an island?

>>3661675
Mhm... Suspicious.
Yet, the name says the truth.

Carry along citizen!

>>3661680
>carry along
>tfw I meant to say move along or carry on

>>3661668
>>3661678
I'm in favor of this.

rolling for the shock to make lawless faint

Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>3661689

i cant 4chan today it seems

Rolled 39 (1d100)

>how many vessels can be destroyed in one day

"I... okay...?" You're really damn weirded out as Lawless slowly uncurls his fingers from your snazzy coat collar, moving carefully back as Klaus withdraws his sword in turn.

You dip a hand into your inside pocket, tugging out your silver-plated treasure, and flick it open, holding it up for Lawless to read.

'To R, with pride. S.’

He stares at it, narrow-eyed, like he's engraving every atom of it into his memory.

"S," he finally says. "You don't know who that is, Mister Flashman?"

"Noooope," you announce. "So again... why does it matter to you?"

Lawless' eyes move back to your face, though his expression and tone are calm and blank. "I might... MIGHT. Know who 'R' is. No guarantees."

>(R E A C T)

ALSO

>Roll 1d100, first three rolls. If you nat1 Law somehow breaks the compass and the subpirate is destroyed

>>3661673
I'm not saying I killed him and devoured his luck. That would be wrong. And bad. And delicious.

>>3661678
rollin'

Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>3661701

Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>3661701
*Gasp*

Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>3661701

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>3661701
>Observation for lie detection right the fuck now!
>How could you know that!?

Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>3661701
>TELL ME NOW

>>3661709
>>3661710
Awww, I was actually kinda hoping it'd happen.

>>3661701
>*Grab collar* YOU KNOW WHO MY FATHER IS!!!!!!!

>>3661701
>>(R E A C T)
>eye sparkle

>>3661716
Kek, this. Gotta love a turn around.

>>3661710
SO CLOSE

Just one point less and one roll up...

>>3661701
>>3661712
>>3661710
Changing to this.

>>3661716
This

>>3661729
And everybody would have fucking drowned, rip quest.

...are you trying to tell us something here?

>>3661716
Support
Is doctor onii-san going to use the cigarette test as a substitute of the blood test QM to make sure we're Rosi son?

>>3661747
Cigar test*

>>3661746
N- no... why would I want to kill poor Flashy? Lies! Blatant lies! (diiiieeeeeeee)

>>3661747
Smoking is unhealthy, and a doctor can't encourage that! So he's just going to set you on fire himself and see if you notice. Much safer!

>>3661604
>>3661621
I left to get lunch and just came back to find my joke spawned a nat100. I am so proud and also terrified.

>>3661762
Congrats on killing everyone!

Leaving this vote open for a while by the way. Also, attempting to use Haki will have a much higher DC than usual due to being so emotional.

>>3661710
Supporteroni

>>3661701
>>(R E A C T)
>eye sparkle
>>>coat spark

>>3661701
>Tell me! + haki

>Law gives us a check-up, to try and get some more confirmation on our parentage and to make sure we're healthy.
>He discovers the Sugar Deficiency, which is something that only really fits one family in the world.
>While everyone else's headaches grow ever larger, Flashy fantasizes about legitimate doctor's orders to eat more candy.

Rolled 85 (1d100)

Okay, I really wanted to shove out another update tonight, but too tired, sorry.

Thanks for playing and good night all! Vote still open until I update tomorrow.

>>3661875
Rolling for papSmo's shit-fit when he learns his dumbass child is a Charlotte.

>>3661701
>>3661710
support

File: Smoboss.jpg (123 KB, 1252x1700)

123 KB JPG

>>3661890
85 cigar day, I see

Rolled 517 (1d1000)

>>3661875
>Mina has the Blood Blood fruit
>She and Flashy exchange blood to become true imouto
>She now has Charlotte blood
>She is now empowered by sugar

Rolling for Smoboss' daily cigar intake when he finds out

Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>3662990

rolling for law to pick up smoking.

>>3662990
>Lawless is now The White Hunter Family's Family Doctor

Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>3663052
I smell a sitcom...

>>3661716
Supporting just for seeing how the turntables

>>3661716
This, + grin of happiness.

I'm Back home Boss! The work finished earlier than expected

BPQM if our mom is an expy Arturia, does that mean that she has an O Wazamono grade excalibaur expy?
Is that reason why we bond with weapons and call them our children...because we inherited that aspect from mom?

>>3664522
she also has the Arsenal Arsenal Fruit, allowing her to store, copy and enhance any weapon she comes in contact with. Mom is a walking armory

Man the next shichibukai reunion is going to be crazy if we ask Garp if he has any info about our dad Rosinante,and we inform Sengoku that Rosi was killed by Dofy....Probably Sen won't kill Doffy but everyone in the room would be freaked out by the amount of killing intent emitted.

>>3664528
Was that canon? I thought she had swordbeams.
Like actual swordbeams and not weak wind like Klaus does. Flashy should follow a real sword guy like MiEagle

>>3664549
>Gramps glows golden and the people nearby sees Nirvana

>>3664618
I was jsut mkaing a joke, but hell if mom does have super sword beams I'm really hyped

>>3664618
>Flashy should follow a real sword guy like MiEagle
Shit, I would love to call Mihawk that to his face.

>>3664310
>The Prince of Marineford
>M. A. R. I. N. E. S.
>How I met your Father
>>As told by Doctor-niisan
>The Big Fruit Theory
>The Life and Times of a teenage robot Celestial Dragon
>Devil Fruit: The Last Lightning Bender
>The Dragon Prince
>Marines Nine-Nine
>Skypeia and Recreations
>The (Marine) Office

And others I can't think of off the top of my head

Flashy calls
Doflamingo Pink Flamingo
Boa Hancock Hanbo
Moria Morado (means purple in spanish)
Firefist Ace Fireplace Abs
Mihawk Mieagle
Kuma Bearington
Crocodile Dead

>>3664638
...would Flashy be immune to Hancock like Luffy is?

>>3664637
Still me ID prolly changed

>>3664720
I know Silvers would be. Can't say anything for Flashman. I mean he tried to flirt with that purrdy Xiao Long captain after all

>>3664720
I'm certain Tashigi would be 100% immune Flashman would be rather affected

>>3664638
Corpseodile.

>>3664504
Welcome back! Moved your desk to the basement, hope you don’t mind.

>>3664720
Flashy would be totally oblivious to every part of her except her hair, which he would be rhapsodising over in an effort to find out her hair-care routine. Thus it is written.

Can I get a tally for oniisansamachantan reaction, please, I’m busy with RL crap.

>>3664720
If i remember correctly if at the moment you're overwelmed by other emotions then you are immune.
So it all depends on the fact of if Flashman knows Boa likes to hurt cute things.

>>3664528
Baby 5 already has that fruit.

>>3664750
>boa kicks a puppy in front of flashman
>no amount of armament can save you now