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OH SHIT NIGGA it's a game thing about running islands of skeletons and shieet.

But first, pick your campaign though
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4014815
single player lock in
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4014815
SINGLE PLAYER LOCK IN
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4014815
>>4014818
>>
AIGHT BOYS IT'S TIME FOR MARIAN REDEMPTION ARC
PEOPLE LOVE THE UNDERDOGS
>>
>>4014815
Single Player
Also is that the sun in the sky or OP's head?
>>
>>4014821
easy with the caps there chief no skin
>>
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>>4014820
Are ya sure tho? Don'tcha wanna test your mettle against other anons, see who'd come out on top?
>>
>>4014822
his ass
>>
>>4014823
COULDN'T HEAR YOU
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4014824
We already got that last game, now we need to consolidate our rule
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4014824
no other anons argue enough single player
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4014824
single player confirm
>>
lolisniffer is going to hand us our asses
>>
>>4014824
How many tokens do I need to play this one?
>>
>>4014832
1 million
or a loli
don't ask
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4014835
>or a loli
Well I already rolled one into existence. Might as well try for two.
>>
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Of course. Singleplayer.

Character choice: 1

The only character available is the winner of Skeleton Island 1: Shotasniffer, eldest daughter of Lolisniffer, morally dubious skeleton.
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4014840
>morally dubious
Lolisniffer disapproves
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4014840
can we choose Marian instead?
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4014840
play video games with sisters
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4014840
I roll to put on a pimp ass cape if we don't already have one
>>
>>4014843
He's too busy crying
That and he ceded all authority and now locks himself in the bathroom
>>
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>>4014843
According to ze polls, no
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4014849
hmm
let's take the next step to world domination then as shotasniffer
>>
>>4014848
>That and he ceded all authority and now locks himself in the bathroom
Man that dude sure does take long baths for a skeleton.
>>
>>4014852
his tears are how he washes himself
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4014849
Fine then. Time to begin the quest for Shota domination.
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4014849
figure a way to get sisters to play donkey kong with you
>>
>>4014859
>figure a way to get sisters to play donkey kong with you
Which one though. Also I'm pretty sure we only have the one SNES controller.
>>
>>4014860
country and you could play two player by switching ports
>>
>>4014862
I mean we could always just hand them the busted offbrand controller, but that's a fate worse than death right there.
>>
>>4014864
thats for Zebra and no one cares.
>>
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>>4014851
Yes, of course. Let's have a bit of a recap shall we.

This is your domain. Your base of operations. A skull shaped island in the middle of the ocean. From here you have defeated your siblings for domination, from here is where you shall grow your criminal empire and spread the influence of the United Shota Sniffing Republic across the world. Watch out tho, as the moment you start your villainous activities, heroes and whatnot will take notice.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4014866
What happened to your siblings
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4014866
Alright, I think we should get Marian out of his bathroom as one of our sidequests.
For now though, let's take a look at the WORLD map.
>>4014870
also yeah that
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4014866
>United Shota Sniffing Republic
Oh hey the UN can just reuse Russia's old name plaques when we get tried for crimes against humanity. Neat.
But on to real business. What other islands or nations are within close proximity of our domain? We should try to establish trade with them.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4014866
control the textile industry
>>
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>>4014871
Ah shit the textures are missing
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4014889
damn it OP you forgot to download the textures
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4014889
we really shouldn't downloaded that texture pack from Dickass Thief Corp
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4014889
fucking mods! redownload
>>
>>4014889
Ah fuck did we not buy Counter Strike: Source?
Anyways, let's try and export calcium supplements to Norway and Greenland.
>>
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>>4014895
Nevermind that. It's time to decide what's your next move. Use some of the unused territory on the island to build a new facility? Go and get another recap by checking on your siblings? Send troops out into the world to do crimes? Go online and shitpost on chinese basket weaving forums?
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4014901
>Go and get another recap by checking on your siblings?
this first, we kinda need everyone's loyalty on this to prevent any rebellions
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4014901
Take over Donkey Kong Island
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4014901
>>4014906
Yeah, let's check on Marian first.
Unlikely to rebel, but we have to lift his spirits.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4014901
>Use some of the unused territory on the island to build a new facility?
Did you know that there's actually a huge market for wholesale human skeletons?
>>
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>>4014906
Yes. First up, your most loyal followers. Your younger brothers Rasputin and The Chosen One. Your seconds in command. With Rasputin being your strongest warrior who will be in need of a balance patch if he's allowed in multiplayer. They've been the ones that supported you the most during your rise to power against your other siblings
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4014923
Aw look these lovable doofs.
What are their takes on the industry potential of the island?
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4014923
Wasn't betty there too?
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4014923
we need more islands. Tell my sisters that we shall conquer more islands to which I grant them duke nukedom and from there ... THE WORLD
>>
>>4014926
she was a yellow defector
>>
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>>4014924
"Enough to fuel our war machine"

"Me made like an army of transforming helicopter tank mechs"
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4014933
Next characters
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4014933
do they fire nukes?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4014933
Alright then. How about Betty and the other various sidekicks?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4014933
>"Me made like an army of transforming helicopter tank mechs"
Neat. Does any other country have anything even remotely similar in their arsenal right now?
If not I say we start exporting those fucks directly to China.
>>
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>>4014934
Now, the other core Red follower. Betty. You consider her to be not as loyal as the other as she was originally a follower of the family's eldest brother, Quattro. When you defeated him she showed up to a tournament Rasputin was hosting to challenge him. After she won, Rasputin was about to give her some money when she tried punching him in the face. He caught her fist and brought her back to you in order to recruit her. Eventually she seems to have turned around and is serving you diligently.
>>
>>4014942
Very good.
Let's look at those green siblings next.
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4014942
Give our 3 siblings a hug
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4014942
rolling for group hug
>>
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>>4014944
A rare display of affection, from the eldest sister
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4014952
haha seems like we're crushing them
let's move onto the GREENS
>>
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>>4014954
Yes. You check up on the Director and Vice President of Green Startdust Giants. The former forces of your younger brother, Marian. After you took over the island, everyone who opposed you now works for you, and they are no exception. But you still let them keep their green colors though. For now, anyway.
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4014974
Ask them if Marian is still in his bathroom. We're gonna bust him out if he is.
>>
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>>4014975
"Sorry, big sis, but Marian's indisposed right now"

"He wishes to be, erm, alone"
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4014978
It's my duty as eldest sister to make sure he doesn't spend the rest of his life in a bathroom. Let me see him.

(Use the intimidate roll on them.)
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4014978
He locked himself inside the bathroom didn't he
>>
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>>4014980
"Nnnnoooo"

"I assure you the CEO of GSG would not do something so shameful"
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4014982
>>4014979
INTIMIDATE THEM
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4014982
>bawling skeleton noises over the intercom about broken mech dreams and evil older sisters
>>
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Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4014985
Roll 2d100 to glare at them super hard

+50 bonus
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4014989
>autowin
all too easy
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4014989
>autowin
>>
Rolled 44, 25 = 69 (2d100)

>>4014989
>>
Rolled 88, 47 = 135 (2d100)

>>4014989
oops right roll this time
>>
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>>4014992
The meekly step aside and lead you to the GSG bathroom.

Pathetic crying can be heard from inside
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4014994
Kick the door down
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4014994
>>4014995
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4014994
"Marian! It's been 3 months now! You need to come out. I'll even let you still wear green!"
>>
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>>4014995
"AH!"
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4015001
"NOT AGAIN"
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4015001
>>4014999
Basically this, Marian is useless to us if he's stuck in his bathroom
>>
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>>4015004
"GET OUTTA HERE YOU MONSTER! CAN'T YOU LET A GUY GRIEVE IN PEACE?! YOU ALREADY TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME! MY COMPANY! MY MONEY! MY UNDERLINGS! MY MONEY! MY MECHS! MY MONEY! MY RESPECT! AND MY MONEY!"

Marian wails, as he sits in his bathtub filled with empty beer cans and bottles, clutching the head of Gunbuster G, his personal mech that you destroyed.
>>
>>4015006
omg gunbuster G is in the bathtub with him
that's kinda sad
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4015006
Tell Marian he'll end up like Uncle Zebra if he doesn't get the hell out of this bathroom and back to doing evil with us as siblings.
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4015006
"I didn't take anything from you. I offered for us to control the island together, side by side. But you had to break the treaty and try to take everything for yourself."
>>
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>>4015011
>>4015008
"SHUT UP! YOU DONT RUN MY LIFE"
>>
test
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4015013
It's been like 6 months, Mariam
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4015013
I will not let you cry in here for any longer.
INTIMIDATE HIM BY THROWING THE GUNBUSTER G HEAD OUT THE WINDOW
>>
It's normal for thread to lag
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

OP has bread issues
>>4015013
slap him
gently
>>
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>>4015020
"SO?"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4015029
>>4015022
throw that motherfucking robot head out the window
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4015029
get over it, build a new company, I believe in you
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4015029
Will you please actually do your job and support the island before I'll throw your robot head out of the window
>>
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>>4015036
"NUH UUUUUUUUHHHHH"
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4015040
Proceed to throw gunbuster g head out the window
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4015040
>>4015042
>>
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>>4015042
Marian begins to cry and weep unintelligibly
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4015046
With his last material possession gone, we should be able to INTIMIDATE him into starting a new.
>>
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>>4015047
He;s curled up and crying into the floor! You can't glare at him when he's not looking at you!
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4015048
leave him alove, dude got issues
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4015048
Grab him by the collar and give him the GLARE
>>
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Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4015052
"EEP"

Roll 2d100

+50 bonus
>>
Rolled 54, 23 = 77 (2d100)

>>4015056
YOU WILL OBEY
>autowin
>>
Rolled 22, 6 = 28 (2d100)

>>4015056
>autowin
what wouldn't you do for your dear brothers
>>
Rolled 95, 27 = 122 (2d100)

>>4015056
>autowin
YOU WILL WORK
>>
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>>4015061
Begrudgingly, Marian is returned to his people
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4015066
Good, let's see how Quattro is doing
>>
>>4015067
>>4015066
if I recall, Quattro's a communist and drinking our vodka in the basement of the Kremlin
>>
>>4015071
join the party then
>>
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>>4015067
Ah yes, Quattro. The leader of the Yellow Chillsaders. Perhaps, too chill for his own good. He once defeated you in a tournament, and was on track to be the strongest force at the start.....but then you wrecked his entire army and took his land. After that shenanigans happened and he bonked his head, causing him to believe himself to be a Red soldier all along. He would later recover of course.

And then committed suicide
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4015080
HOLY SHIT WTF
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>4015080
He is just pranking you, skeletons can't be hanged
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4015080
Quattro! Quit the pranking with Bobby
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4015080
that escalated quickly
>>4015082
>>
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>>4015082
"Yes they can! You don't know!"
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4015086
Riiiiiiiight
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4015086
Nuhuh
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4015086
Tell him to stop drinking all our vodka, but other than that he's fine. Put him back in charge of the resort.
>>
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>>4015088
"I, uh mean, harrkk hrrrkkk, hhrrraakk, imma ded skele"
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4015090
Goddamnit, stop trying to run away from your responsibilities by pretending to be dead.
And where's Bob?
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4015090
Such a shame, as I just happened to have this very high quality rum, I'll just leave it here right before the dead Quattro and wait for Bobby
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4015090
I ain't gonna give you more booze for free, you'll have to work for it
>>
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>>4015091
"bleearrrggghhh but im super ded for reallsss....bleeeeeeggghhhhh.....also I dunno where he isss.....hhrkrkrkr"

MEANWHILE, IN AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION

"Hehehehehe, that foolish Shotasniffer. She doesn't suspect a thing. Soon I'll bomb her house into smithereens"
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4015096
I sense a great betrayal..
Keep pressing Quattro for info. MAXIMUM INTIMIDATE.
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4015096
Wait a second, real Quattro always wears sunglasses! Are you an effigy used to pull a prank on me!?
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4015096
fine, give quattro a booze for his acting
>>4015098
quattro doesn't know shit
>>
>>4015100
He lost them during the sidequest to save him
>>
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Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4015098
"hhrrrrk....im dead....i dunno anything...blarrggghhhh"

Roll 2d100

+50 bonus
>>
Rolled 34, 6 = 40 (2d100)

>>4015107
YOU DRUNKEN BUM
>>
Rolled 69, 35 = 104 (2d100)

>>4015107
This better not be a prank!
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4015107

Don't forget the weed gas Bob.
>>
Rolled 14, 34 = 48 (2d100)

>>4015107
OF COURSE DEAD PEOPLE WOULD BE MORE DIFFICULT TO INTIMIDATE
>>
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>>4015111
You exudes massive amounts of energy. But Quattro stays committed to this whole suicide bit
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4015118
... Try a different technique of attracting Quattro with booze, like a candy trail but with alcohol bottles.
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4015118
Ah well, guass someone else is gonna need these new sunglasses of the newest beach bum model, the blue sex on the beach lagoon cocktail and this sick mixtape of 80's beach music, also ukulele
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4015118
ok them, I guess it's time to sell off all our alcohol and practice teetotalism
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4015118
True artist
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4015118
Guess we need someone else to try out this new Weed Whisky.
>>
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>>4015122
>>
>>4015126
Also ban groovy music
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4015126
just say that we'll give him underage girls
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4015129
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4015126
>>4015129
>>
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>>4015132
>4015122
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4015133
Aaaaaand surfing
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4015133
and I won't be like a mother to you at friday evenings
>>
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>>4015135
Roll 2d100

First roll is for picking

Second roll, the higher it is the better the outcome
>>
Rolled 45, 81 = 126 (2d100)

>>4015138
>>
Rolled 99, 63 = 162 (2d100)

>>4015138
Resistance is futile.
Now drink this samogon of truth
>>
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>>4015140
"YES I WILL. I'M SORRY BIG SIS. I'LL DO ANYTHING. JUST DON'T TAKE AWAY THE FUN STUFF! PLEASE, I'M SORRY! I BEG OF YOU!"

boy, sure hope none of the young ones who followed him before see this
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4015144
Ha! I knew it! Where is Bobby?
>>
>>4015144
Give him a bar to run and go see Lily
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4015144
>betty looks at him judgementally anyway
Be like a mother to him and pat his head
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4015147
>>4015144
>>
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>>4015148
Quattro crawls up into a fetal position and weeps as you pat his head for him to calm down.

"Ain't that some shit"

"Wow, can't believe he used to lead his own army of martial artists, aint that something huh, Betty?"

"mmmrrrmmmmm"
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4015152
Has Bobby tried to bomb my house again, Betty?
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4015152
We'll need to add "Quattro's Counter attack" in poll eventually.
Anyway, Betty already brought back bob turns out they were just making new booze in separate basement.
>>
OP got a twitter?
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4015152
Right...now to find Bobby, he better return the bombs he borrowed
>>
>>4015155
Yea
https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
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>>4015153
"Yeah sis, that's the fifth time this month. Already disabled the bomb and smacked him upside the head"
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4015158
Probably got busted out by Dad again
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4015158
bobby really needs to chill
>>
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>>4015160
"Actually Dad's not on the island right now"

"Yeah, he said he's gone back to the mainland to visit his boss"
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4015158
Time to check on Blue Baby.
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4015163
Huh, then no worries
>We say, as Bobby casually walks in with a Blue Lagoon asking what's up
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4015163
Let's visit Lily now.
Put Quattro down, leave him some booze and book about how to stop being such a wimp
>>
>>4015157
Yo Civ Quest was that hype shit thought you might have been the same person
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4015163
Time to check on Blue Team
>>
>>4015167
what gave him away
>>
>>4015167
He is
>>
>>4015167
Yea
>>
>>4015169
The fact he has archives on it
>>
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>>4015166
You go and check on the last leader who opposed you, the youngest of the bunch, Lilly. Who was way into LARPing

"Sorry, sis. Lilly's at school right now" answered Luke. He was one of her "knights" or something. Word is he wasn't really into this whole LARPing thing at first but soon enough he was won over due to the youngest child's charisma and childish glee. Now he goes over and dresses up in his Bone Kingdom armor everyday for her to play with.
>>
>>4015175
Is she at least learning something
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4015175
Tell Luke that we brought lunch for her.
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4015175
Luke is an example of what older brother should be, Quattro and Mariam should look up at him.
>>4015176
Only if she isn't going thru puberty phase
>>
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>>4015177
"Ah that's nice of ya....Wait. Lunch you made yourself?"
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4015179
Do you have a problem with that? Now excuse me, Luke.
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4015179
Yes. Full of love and nutrients
>>
>>4015179
It's totally not filled with hazardous materials like what the other guys might try and feed her.
>>
>>4015186
Nah, shotasniffer's just that bad
>>
I can't believe OP got killed by Shotasniffer's cooking
>>
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>>4015182
Luke remembers the last time SHotasniffer tried to cook something
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4015194
Where's the other lieutenant
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4015194
How about I just leave the lunch here, and you can hand it over to her when she comes home.
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4015194
The 101st sibling died eating it
>>
>>4015194
>gif
lel, explains the delay
>>
>>4015194
>OP making a gif
Is OP evolving to the next step
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4015194
What? Wanna bite?
Don't be shy, there is plenty for everyone
>>
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>>4015196
"s-sure"
>>
>>4015199
spinningking.gif
>>
>>4015202
It wasn't that smooth
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4015201
You go away wondering why skeletons in biohazard suits show up
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4015201
The lunch even has Dunkaroos! Kids like those, right? Lemme tell ya, real bitch to find after they stopped making them in the 90s.
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4015201
See, I'm nice! I will see you around, Luke. Sooner than you expect
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4015201
Where's the other one?
>>
>>4015203
Now I want to see silky smooth spinning king 60 fps webm
what have you done
>>
>>4015209
the right thing
>>
>>4015210
framerate was part of experience.
>>
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>>4015206
And so you leave Lilly's house. Shame you didn't bump into the other Bone Kingdom hero though. Olessa. One of Lilly's "maid knights". Luke says she's gone fishing
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4015213
Now visit the only unique skeleton not made a lieutenant for reasons only known to Quattro
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4015213
See our to do list
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4015213
A rogue weinie flies at us.
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4015213
You are being too happy. Find a reason to be displeased about the current state of affairs
>>
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>>4015217
Yeah, uh, hi. Sorry. Thread's gonna have to be suspended now due OP having to go to a family dinner.
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4015218
Punch OP
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4015218
How veggie diet treating ya OP
all good?
thanks for bread so far
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4015218
Shotasniffer chokes OP while he gives the time of when he will be back
>>
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>>4015220
I poop way more than before.

So uhm, see ya all. Will return in about i unno, 4-5 hours? Yeah probably,

updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4015222
today we learnt
mariam is still mourning his destroyed mech
quattro has recovered from his commie delusion
bobby is closest to lolisniffer in personality
shotasniffer is not a good cook
>>
>>4015222
>4-5 hours
I'll be there
>>
>>4015222
as long there is no blood in there it's all good
>>
>>4015222
Wait dinner? But its like 3 pm
>>
>>4015232
During communism there is only dinner
>>
>>4015233
But dinner is the one where most food is eaten
>>
>>4015234
that's why it is family dinner
>>
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Boy that took a while
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4015442
have a bone to pick
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4015442
oh shit
hide op under our hat
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4015442
Punch OP
>>
>>4015448
supporting
>>
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>>4015448
oh no OP is knocked out, causing thread to be suspended yet again
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4015452
HEY WAIT SHIT GET UP OP
WE DIDN'T MEAN IT
UHHHH YOU CAN HIT US BACK
>>
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>>4015453
Hit you with a "to be continued", maybe, woooo yeaaa
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4015462
summon bat bone
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4015462
noooooo I waited four (cuatro) (vier) (bốn) hours for this bread
>>
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>>4015478
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4015487
OP, take this peach. Quickly, there is no time to explain
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4015487
super robot pilot 3 cameo appears
ghost of a dog which was eaten during family dinner
with a hat
>>
>>4015462
Shotasniffer is p cute for a skelington
>>
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>>4015490
What? So I can get sued by Nintendo? Are ya crazy?
>>
>>4015500
I think the darker skellies that take after their mother are the cutest, personally
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4015501
No, momotaro's little peach
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4015501
the more you delay the bread the worse it'll be pal
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4015501

By the way.... why can't we explore outside the skull island?
>>
>>4015511
no visas
>>
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>>4015508
Fine

Here ya go
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4015514
Someone thrown bread at us!
Insurgents!
Are those resistance fighters?
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4015514
Take the bread, and we continue on our path
>>
>>4015514

Make sandwich while we tried figure out what we should do next.

>>4015513

Screw visas! We are communist!
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4015519

forgot to roll...
>>
>>4015519
spooky skeletons already having trouble getting abroad, do you think they'll let communist spooky skeletons outside?
haha
no
>>
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>>4015518
Alright. Now that you'ved checked up on all your underlings. It's time to devise your next move. Will you improve and build up current forces some more? Explore the surrounding islands to increase your territory some more? Or send some minions out into the world to engage in super crimes
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4015524
Comrade Rasputin will temporarily lead the USSR while we embark on an expedition to a neighboring island.
But now we must choose with who we will travel........
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4015524
we establish KGB
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4015524
The only supercrime here would be not exploring near by islands personally.
>>
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>>4015530
"Of course, as you wish"

"Shall we mobilize our troops to accompany you then?"
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4015536
nah, that's waste of resources. Let just go we three
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4015536
We will only need a small group, like 10 or so men with us. Lets see a list of our most capable and loyal people
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4015536
>"Shall we mobilize our troops to accompany you then?"
OF COURSE
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4015536
Bring Rasputin, a clown and the Boy also BDSM stuff
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4015536
We need to take like 4 main characters and a single red shirt
>>
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>>4015543
"Just say the word, big sis, and we'll move out"

Your options:
- Rasputin
- Chosen One
- Betty
- Normal USSR troops and guerillas
- Copters
- Tanks
- Mecha Tank Copters
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4015558
mystery box tank
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>4015558

Mystery box
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4015558
>Betty
>A copter
>Some grunts in the copter
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4015558
Mystery box
>>
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>>4015564
Yes, we can load you all into the copter
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4015570

Hmmm... that nameless grunt look very plain.... Give him an afro!!!
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4015570
no choose mystery box tank ....dammit
>>
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>>4015574
"oh okay, sis"
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4015590
And lets paint you a bit
>>
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>>4015595
>>4015595
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4015601
Give him a name like "Dimitri"
Then we can set off on our journey to explore.
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4015590
Let's have that fro overtake your entire head so your head is nothing but a black ball of hair.
>>
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>>4015605
Alright, get on the copter. Betty and the other grunts have already boarded
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4015618
get on the copter and let's roll
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4015601
Now that this guy is all plot armored out we need another nameless redshirt to take with us
>>
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>>4015622
You mean this other grunt? In the USSR everybody wear red shirts
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4015634
Yes, we need name tags
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4015634
Oh okay, let's just explore now.
Load the next zone.
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4015640
+
>>
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>>4015640
Patrolling the area around the island to see if there's something we can find

Roll 2d100

First roll is for picking

Second roll, the higher it is the better the outcome
>>
Rolled 29, 95 = 124 (2d100)

>>4015653
[japanese yooooooooooooo sound]
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4015653
Since there is not much to do in a helicopter ride, ask Betty if she is a skelington or a shadow person or what her whole deal is.
>>
Rolled 45, 1 = 46 (2d100)

>>4015653
It better not have any paladins
>>
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>>4015655
You found a much smaller island near yours! Unknown territory! Potential resources! A boss fight?! WHO KNOOOWWWSSSSSSSSS
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4015671
Lets go there, wave hi to the skeleton dragon while were on the way
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4015671
Prepare for landing.
>>
>>4015671
go man go
>>
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>>4015675
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4015689
cue the jurassic park theme as we approach the new island
>>
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>>4015694
Approaching unexplored island now
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4015709
Neooowwww
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

Catch everyone off guard by simply jumping out, no parachute
>>
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>>4015715
Finding a clearing, your copter lands. So far, the island seems to be uninhabited
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4015731

Start exploring island.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4015731
Hello! Is anyone here? If you are okay with us taking over and all your stuff don't say anything!
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4015731
Leave behind a trio of grunts to guard the copter, then go and explore potentially promising places
>>
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>>4015746
Trek through the tall grass and delve deeper into the island!

ROLL 2D100
>>
Rolled 34, 60 = 94 (2d100)

>>4015774
yooooooooooooooo
>>
Rolled 73, 93 = 166 (2d100)

>>4015774
oooo
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4015774
Good thing this conveniently tall grass doesn't have any predators lurking
>>
Rolled 60, 10 = 70 (2d100)

>>4015780
>>
>>4015731
wait how do we have a copter

I thought we turned all of our copters into siege mechs
>>
>>4015799
It's been 6 months, more copters were probably built
When you have the whole island under your control u can do anything
>>
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>>4015778
As you and your squad made your way deeper into the island, you found no traces of intelligent life, no natives, no animals, only living things here are the plants. But then, you discover an ancient structure! Seemingly been overtaken by the vines and moss. Dilapidated due to age. It looks to be a temple of sorts.
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4015828
A temple?!?!? we will need to demolish this place but for starters, lets go have a look inside
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4015828
Let's go inside, toggle the flashlights on our guns so we can see better too
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4015828
Walk in
>>
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>>4015835
Delving into the temple. So far so good...
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4015865
Dimitri, turn your light towards that monument there, I see something.
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4015865
Fancy, who is that guy on the wall?
>>
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>>4015870
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4015893
These look ancient, inspect closer to see if there's like any inscriptions.
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4015893
Looks ugly
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4015893
He looks angry
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4015893
Push the button the figure is standing on.
>>
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>>4015908
"Huh? How can you tell, sis?"
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4015920
Turn off the light, no pissed off sun god is going to be summoned by our flashlight
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4015920
Arms are raised alongside head which is looking upwards, I suspect those lines are sound of him yelling, or symbolize smell, maybe that's why he's mad
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4015920
Because he is channeling his power to destroy someone methinks
>>
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>>4015930
Yes. Probably a good idea, maybe. In any case I'll ahve to, uh, suspend the thread once more. It's 3AM over here and I have to sleep. Doctor's orders, else my liver will get super fuuuuucked.

sorry bout that.

updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4015972
That's ok.
Actually leave the flashlight on so we CAN summon a pissed off sun god. I want to slap the absolute across the room like that one other quest.
>>
>>4015972
You just made an enemy for life!
>>
op is your liver ready for today
>>
>>4017221
Perhaps

Just woke up tho
>>
>>4017708
aw shit nigga
>>
>>4017791
Unfortunately, to continue thread I require a small donation of 1 million USD
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4017797
get outta here todd howard
>>
>>4017800
Ayy c'mmon, I'm a legitimate OP. I am definitely not Todd Howard in a disguise
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4017809
That's something todd howard would say
>>
>>4017811
>100
OH SHIT
>>
>>4017811
No it isn't.

But "Hey, how about buying another copy of skyrim, the best rpg of 2011". NOw that's something Todd would say.

Speaking of which, how about buying another copy of skyrim
>>
>>4017827
hell no
>>
>>4017834
But anon, it's the best rpg of 2011
>>
>>4017843
If I buy it, will you continue the thread?
>>
>>4017843
here is $10 million dollars
>>
>>4017827
No, I think I'll load up my singular pirated copy of Fallout New Vegas instead.
>>
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>>4017847
It would be extremely painful
>>
Why are skeletons the best?
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4017864
You're a big guy
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4017864
You're a big guy
>>
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>>4017868
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4017877
>>4015972
Okay, let's get back to the adventure
let's see if there's any secret treasures in the sun god statue room
>>
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Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4017891
Roll 2d100 to search the room for secrets
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4017924
yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
>>
Rolled 3, 24 = 27 (2d100)

>>4017877
>95
>>
Rolled 85, 73 = 158 (2d100)

>>4017924
>>
Rolled 60, 50 = 110 (2d100)

>>4017924
oh shit wrong dice
>>
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>>4017931
Damn, couldn't find any
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4017955
Does the temple do anything?
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4017955
leave it to archeology team
go explore some more
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4017955
KICK OVER A NEARBY ANCIENT POT, DESECRATE THESE SACRED GROUNDS IN THE NAME OF THE USSR.
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4017955
Let's keep exploring.
>>
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Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4017974
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 39, 55 = 94 (2d100)

>>4017986
whack
>>
>>4017986
i want that vase obliterated.
>>
Rolled 79, 99 = 178 (2d100)

>>4017986
that's just hidden quattro stash of booze
>>
Rolled 86, 86 = 172 (2d100)

>>4017986
Also don't forget that we need to be making Indiana Jones quotes.
>>
Rolled 80, 23 = 103 (2d100)

>>4017986
>>4017989
FUCK messed it up
>>
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>>4017993
You kick the vase into a wall, obliterating both. Revealing a secret chamber!
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4018046
Enter.
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4018046
there are ancient chinese giant robots inside
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4018046
Onwards into the unknown. Don't forget to be on the look out for guardian monsters and shit.
This is just the place for low level mobs.
>>
>>4018046
Hell yeah, let's go
>>
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>>4018056
More giant robots?! Our budget is already drained due to the last season! Are you insane?!
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4018079
Give us a reasonable find then, OP
Something within the budget , doesn't have to be giant robots
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4018079
By "giant robots", he means ancient Hebrew golems (not giant)
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4018079
So drained we didn't even have a good ending
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4018079
make them human sized.
We Project x Zone now
so basically CrossGate time
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4018079
GIVE US SOMETHING TO SLAP ACROSS THE FACE WITH THE RAGE OF A THOUSAND EVILS
>>
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Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4018087
Perhaps we should sell the good end as overpriced DLC down the line.

Anyway, this chamber houses a set of stairs, leading deeper into the temple.

Roll 2d100 to explore it
>>
Rolled 50, 90 = 140 (2d100)

>>4018098
CrossGate here we go, time to visit whatever parralel worlds there are
>>
>>4018098
>>4018099
good roll
>>
Rolled 83, 35 = 118 (2d100)

>>4018098
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntXJJwEk1NA
>>
>>4018103
You nearly blew it
>>
>>4018107
God forbid I inject a little tension into our dungeon crawl!
>>
>>4018115
The people who do usually get killed horribly
>>
>>4018124
And when they don't, they end up with sick fucking loot and good stories to tell.
>>
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>>4018103
The halls are lined with huge stone statues that look like they could come to life and fight you as random encounters at any moment!

But they didn't
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4018132
we don't have budget for that anyway
be aware of more simpler traps, like that mousetrap over there
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4018132
Well, that's convenient. Are they pilotable?
>>
>>4018132
Where's the totally not booby-trapped artifact they were set to guard?
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4018132
Write "THIS STATUE WAS DESIGNED TO FUCK YOUR MOUTH" on their chests.
>>
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>>4018137
oh hey look a mystery box
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4018163
uh oh
must
resist
the
urge
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4018163
Get a minion to take it
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4018163
Use our quick reaction speed to grab the mystery box before the mouse trap is able to be springed.
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4018163
Activate X-ray vision
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4018163
AHHHHHHHHH FUCK YOU KNOW MY ONE WEAKNESS!
Flip that mouse-trap over dang it. That should disable it.
>>
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>>4018171
Damn, it's resistant to your powers, you cant see through
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4018204
>>4018169
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4018204
resist the urge and walk past it
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4018204
Activate Shota locating vision
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4018208
supportamundo
>>
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Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4018208
You are now a grunt skeleton. Big sis has ordered you to take the mystery box.

Roll 2d100 to do so

+30 for the box
>>
Rolled 79, 18 = 97 (2d100)

>>4018233
>>
Rolled 46, 12 = 58 (2d100)

>>4018233
yoooooooooooooo
>>
Rolled 85, 47 = 132 (2d100)

>>4018233
Uh 9h
>>
>>4018233
Slap that worried grin off our face. We should be proud to be this trusted by Big Sis!
>>
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>>4018240
The mouse trap springs up! But it did not snap down on the skele's bony fingers......but instead the temple started rumbling
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4018262
GRAB THE FUCKING BOX AND GET THE FUCK OUT! FUCKING SHODDY ASS ANCIENT TEMPLE!
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4018262
>>4018268
uh oh
Grab the box and run
INDIANA JONES TIME
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4018262
grabby box and indiana jones outta there
>>
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>>4018276
Speaking of which.

A GIANT BOULDER OUTTA NOWHERE IS ROLLING AT YOU!
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4018287
RUN WITH EVERYONE TO THE EXIT
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4018287
TAKE BOX
RUN
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4018287
OH COME ON HOW DID WE MISS THAT?
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4018287
slap boulder back where it came frome
>>
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>>4018290
WOAH MAMA
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4018333
QUICK
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4018333
RUUUUUUUUUUUN
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4018333
FUCKSHITFUCK
>>
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Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4018338
TO RUN AS SHOTASNIFFER, ROLL 2D100 WITH A +40 BONUS

TO DO SOMETHING AS BETTY, ROLL 2D100 WITH a +20 BONUS
>>
Rolled 71, 8 = 79 (2d100)

>>4018349
BETTY LET'S SMASH THAT MOTHERFUCKING ROCK
>>
Rolled 24, 82 = 106 (2d100)

>>4018349
JUST FUCKING DO SOMETHING
>>
Rolled 96, 26 + 40 = 162 (2d100 + 40)

>>4018349
>>
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>>4018352
BETTY PUNCHES THE BOULDER! IT DIDN'T BREAK! SHE LAUNCHED IT INTO THE CEILING, CAUSING THE TEMPLE TO CRUMBLE HARDER!
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4018375
OH GOD MAKE HASTE WITH THE RUNNING
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
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Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4018380
OH SHIT

ROLL 2D100

+30...for the temple
>>
Rolled 6, 38 = 44 (2d100)

>>4018394
NATTY 100
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4018394
>autoloss
SHIT
>>
Rolled 94, 61 = 155 (2d100)

>>4018394
>>4018399
>>
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>>4018400
THE WALLS FALL DOWN! YOU ARE TRAPPED INSIDE THE TEMPLE! SOME OF YOUR TROOPS MADE IT OUT, WHO IS TRAPPED WITH YOU?!

A. Betty
B. Dimitri
C. Some random grunt
D. Nobody
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4018413
A
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4018413
B.
AFRO BRO
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4018413
C
>>
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>>4018417
And so you and Betty is stuck in the temple.

RIP
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4018440
suddenly a booming voice
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4018440
Are there parts of the temple that didn't collapse? We could find another way out and keep looking for more treasure.
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4018440
Start punching through the rubble to freedom
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4018440
bonding intensifies
and yuri dodjinshi started already
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4018440
No, wait, hang on. why are the pair of eyes different colors? Who's REALLY in here with us?
>>
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Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4018444
Right, let's move...INTO THE DAAARRRRKNESSSSSSSSSS

While I suspend the thread. Gotta uh, head outside to take care of somethings. Dunno when will be back. Will update on the twitter when I am

In the mean time, roll 2d100 o see what you get during your fumbling through the dorkness

90-100: Good stuff
60-89: meh stuff
20-59: bad stuff
1-19: oh shit
>>
Rolled 54, 91 = 145 (2d100)

>>4018481
okay, come back soon boss
>>
Rolled 39, 68 = 107 (2d100)

>>4018481
>>
>>4018483
holy shit getting stuck is actually working out
>>
>>4018487
hell yeah dude
dice god traps us then gives us good stuff
>>
Rolled 26, 18 = 44 (2d100)

>>4018481
>>
>>4018500
you will be thrown against the wall
>>
>>4018506
wat
>>
Aww yiss, skele quest.
>>
I sure hope OP still isn't suffering from the curse
>>
>accidentally grab betty's backside
>>
I have shat too hard, now my asshole is ripped apart
>>
>>4019012
Why does this keep happening to you
>>
>>4019020
we ain't getting any younger
>>
>>4019020
Maybe my diet? I dunno. I drank water the whole morning yet I still shat like a volcano. Sitting down hurts. So gotta lie down.

3 hours until thread continues
>>
>>4019024
hemorroids get the best of us
>>
>>4019024
Damn dude, I hope that you recover some of your stamina soon cause fuck that sounds awful.
>>
>>4019024
The cuuuuuurse
>>
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it's been 3 hours
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4019133
continue story
>>
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>>4019135
Yes, but to do so, you must make....a small purchase
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4019137
Nah. Let's just open that mystery box that got us stuck here in the first place, Todd.
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4019137
STRANGLE OP
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4019137
Did I ever tell you about the tragedy of Plaguis the Wise?
>>
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>>4019142
>>4019142
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4019149
Roight...punch cave
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4019149
continue as per >>4018483
by doing this >>4019150
>>
OOC question here
What were the inspirations of Skeleton Island faction?

From what i could have seen it's mostly inspired by the RTS games (C&CTS, C&CRA, AOE2 are the most noticiable, but i can't seem to read the yellow faction inspiration)
>>
>>4019161
Uno I think, at least in coloration
>>
>>4019161
Yellows' inspiration is this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ue2-ZVxpVjc
>>
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>>4019155
You punched another wall! Surely when the temple has already crumbled, there's no harm in bringing it down even more!

And yeah, you found another hidden chamber
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4019172
What's in it? Better not be paladins
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4019172
What is it this time
>>
>>4019164
guess that makes sense somewhat,

so does that mean the skeleton equivalent of Kane is gonna appear in this?
considering this takes place on the red/"USSR" victory
>>
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>>4019176
Ah yes! The greatest treasure anyone could have!

>>4019178
Let's not get hasty there, pal
>>
Shotasniffer/Betty yuri dodjinshi when
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4019181
Double choking combo
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4019181
>base version
who ever needs it
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4019181
Your insistence on this fucking skyrim thing will get you killed one day, OP
>>
>>4019181
Ok then op i will not be hasty

So i guess this is gonna head for a yuri's revenge territory
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4019181
Another one? I hoped for TES VI, throw it in the ancient trash bin
>>
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>>4019189
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4019197
the real prize was friendship all along, according to a random booming voice
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4019197
Now, anything else? Like an ancient laser gun?
>>
>>4015100
Addendum: turns out Chosen One stole them during the side quest and made them red
>>
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>>4019200
"YES! FRIENDSHIP! THE TRUE, REAL, ONLY TREASURE HERE! DEFINITELY NOT THE HIDDEN TOMB DOWN UNDER. SO NOW PLS LEAVE"
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4019206
Uhhh wait. Where was great grandma buried again?
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4019206
Who are you and where is your cool stuff?
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4019206
We can't leave mysterious booming voice, we're blocked in. Also who are you
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4019206
Punch the darkness madly in all directions until we either punch the voice or punch our way into the secret burial chamber
>>
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>>4019209
"Somewhere you don't need to worry about" according to what Dad said the last time you asked him that
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4019221
Maybe we should just radio in for an entire excavation team to do research on this temple.
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4019221
Ah right. Surely this isnt the place!
Open mystery box
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4019221
You never asked again, partially because you have vietnam flashbacks every time you try to speak to him
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4019221
But is somewhere here? What really IS somewhere in fact?
>>
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>>4019225
"Shut up and eat your veggies, Shotasniffer"

Flashback end
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4019231
Note to self, illegalize veggies, the not cool kind
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4019231
That was humiliation number 235572, considering you were an adult at that time
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4019231
Punch deeper into the cave. Give Betty the mystery box for safe keeping
>>
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>>4019234
Second note to self: Find out which veggies are "cool" veggies
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4019243
Where IS the mystery box anyway?
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>4019243
Meditate to see whether great-grandma's spirit is vibing at you from the burial chamber. If so, punch in that direction. If not, punch anyway.
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4019243
3rd note to self: "Where did Betty go?"
>>
>>4019243
Right, the stuff, where is it strange voice?
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4019250
>>
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>>4019249
Right over there, messing around with the walls
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4019261
You found anything?
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4019261
Control Betty. Look for a button on the wall. Or a brick that can be pressed... or plot device to move things forward.
>>
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Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4019262
"Nooooot yet"

Roll 2d100 to see if she finds anything
>>
Rolled 66, 53 = 119 (2d100)

>>4019268
>>
Rolled 73, 67 = 140 (2d100)

>>4019268
>>
Wait, is Betty a skeletal shadowperson or just a shadowperson now, she's missing the skeletral mouth she used to have
>>
Rolled 40, 27 = 67 (2d100)

>>4019268
>>
>>4019277
She had that? I always thought she was a regular shadowperson
>>
>>4019281
When she first appeared in the original game she had that as a white outline
>>
Rolled 55, 2 = 57 (2d100)

>>4019268
>>
>>4019285
I'mgonna need you to post proof right now or I'm afraid someone is going to get shot (many times)
>>
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>>4019274
"Hmmm, I think there's a stone here that can be pressed. But it seems kinda stuck"

>>4019277
>>4019285
Yes, that's true. But OP has brain problems and forgot if, about 2 threads after she first appeared and she didn't show her skeleton mouth since.

So let's just say that she can choose to show it or not if she wants
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4019294
Mind if we both punch it?
>>
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>>4019292
I got your proof right here, shooting avoided
>>
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Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4019299
"You cannot defeat me, foolish skeleton" - stone button

Roll 2d100

+50 bonus
>>
Rolled 3, 34 = 37 (2d100)

>>4019320
>>
Rolled 66, 6 = 72 (2d100)

>>4019320
SLAP THE BUTTON WITH UTMOST RAGE
>>
>>4019325
That's a-punchin'
>>
>>4019334
what the fuck did you do
>>
Rolled 29, 49 = 78 (2d100)

>>4019320
(corrective slap)
>>
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>>4019325
The stone button clicks!

Something is opening up in the middle of the chamber!
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4019341
"oh nooo my trick has been foiled" - stone button
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4019341
Inspect cautiously
>>
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>>4019342
"CURSE YOUUUUUUUU" wailed the stone button.

Anyway the middle opened up to a set of stairs straight down into the hidden depths. Dare you enter?
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4019354
Let's see what the stone button, who is probably a god, has to say about it
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4019354
Shit yeah. Lets' ready our punching fists and head on down
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4019294
Makes sense, OP forgot entire plot for our last quest
>>4019354
Yes
>>
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Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4019361
Roll 2d100 to walk down the stairs

>>4019362
In my defense, I was sick.
>>
Rolled 48, 25 = 73 (2d100)

>>4019365
>>
>>4019366
ok if some other people could roll, now's the time
>>
Rolled 96, 26 = 122 (2d100)

>>4019365
Descend grandly
>>
>>4019365
Get ready to beat Op if he takes us to the "Magical realm"
>>
Rolled 2, 41 = 43 (2d100)

>>4019365
>>
>>4019368
WELL SHIT.
>>
>>4019368
or ungrandly fine whatever
>>
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>>4019368
Unfortunately, in your haste you slipped on a loose rock.

Fortunately, only Betty is here to witness your embarrassing tumble down the ancient stairs
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4019380
And the fucking asshole button.
What's down there
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4019380
Landed in some super-shiny ancient loot though
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4019380
Get up as if nothing happened
>>
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>>4019387
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4019400
Continue on to find ACCURSED TREASURES
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4019400
"Uh, sis-"
DO NOT TALK ABOUT IT, WHERE'S THE TOMB?
>>
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>>4019408
Inside the hidden tomb, you can see a massive stone coffin! Covered in chains and strange markings!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4019432
Looks nice, doesn't it Betty?
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4019432
...we're going to roll for what's inside, aren't we
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4019432
Ghost of great-grandma: "Yo."
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4019432
KICK IT OPEN
>>
>>4019432
What's in the box, man? What's in the boooox??
>>
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>>4019441
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4019461
Enough tumbling around, sister dearest. Let's open this coffin!
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4019461
Box glows with unholy light -- then explodes, revealing...
[insert mysterious plot-developing goodies here]
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4019461
ROLLAN FOR PARANORMAL MALACHITE FIGURINE
>>
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>>4019465
"Seems kinda stuck tho"
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4019478
Let's both lift the lid up
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4019478
Desecrate the skull
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4019478
Desecrate coffin by punching and removing chains to enable dramatic reveal, angering spirits
>>
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Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4019485
"Alright, as you wish"

Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 34, 85 = 119 (2d100)

>>4019501
man those ghosts gonna be so enraged
>>
Rolled 61, 68 = 129 (2d100)

>>4019501
Skull bites back
>>
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>>4019508
Smashing the skull on the Betty's side seems to have did something. The chains started rattling violently! The coffin starts to rumble! And from within, a strange energy seems to be starting to seep out!
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4019525
Good morning, Great Grandma!
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4019525
Quick, shine flashlight in its eyes, it will be too irritated to react
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4019525
Strange energy starts affecting Shotasniffer... She starts hearing... voices... and...
>>4019534
also this
>>
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>>4019534
"Great Grandma?! Sis, are you sure?!"
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4019567
I HAVE NO IDEA
>>
Rolled (1d00)

>>4019567
Shit man, it might be him. Let's find out.
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4019567
It's either her or something equally as evil!
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4019567
Well Grandpa Shadowboss is in Hell. Who else would this be?
>>
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>>4019590
"wha---"

Then the coffin exploded
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4019602
Shine flashlight at it
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4019602
They're made of shadows, they'll be fine.
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4019602
Its us! Your great grandkids!
>>
>>4019602
Woah, slow down grandpa, don't hurt yourself on the way out
>>
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>>4019606
*Unintelligible screaming*
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4019627
Shine in the eyes until she stops, Betty, ask Dad "theoretical" questions about wjat to do if we woke her up
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4019627
QUICK MAKE BETTY TRANSLATE THE SHADOW SCREECHING
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4019627
IS THAT ANY WAY TO GREET YOUR GREAT GRAND DAUGHTER?
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4019627
screech back at it
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4019627
What are you?
>>
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>>4019636
Manifesting a tendril and slamming you against the wall....probably not the way to greet one's great grand daughter either
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4019663
Maybe this wasn't the best idea. Betty, run! I'll see you at the copter.
>Try to get loose
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4019663
Use your skeleton charm to reason with the monster
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4019663
WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?
WHO ARE YOU?
>>
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Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4019667
This thing's got you locked down tight! ROLL 2d100!

+30 for Great Grandma(?)
>>
Rolled 64, 46 = 110 (2d100)

>>4019689
>>
Rolled 46, 82 = 128 (2d100)

>>4019689
PREPARE THE LEATHER GLOVE AND INITIATE THE SLAPPENING
>>
Rolled 84, 68 = 152 (2d100)

>>4019689
Oh god oh fuck
>>
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>>4019701
You've broken free!
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4019715
SLAP DAT BITCH ACROSS THE FUCKING ROOM WE FUCKIN DOING THIS LIKE BIG U DID.
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4019715
Slap great grandma's shit
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4019715
Punch!
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4019715
Now run back for the copter
>>
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Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4019722
ROLL 2D100!

+45 For Great Grandma(?)
>>
Rolled 63, 44 = 107 (2d100)

>>4019736
>>
Rolled 3, 80 = 83 (2d100)

>>4019736
HERE WE GOOOOOOO
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4019736
SLAPPITY SLAPPITY SLAP SLAP
>>
Rolled 51, 78 = 129 (2d100)

>>4019736
>>4019742
FUCK I FORGOT TO MAKE IT A 2D100
>>
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Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>4019738
OH SHIT, YOU'RE SLAMMED INTO THE GROUND!

OH SHIT, AGAIN! GREAT GRANDMA'S DOING SOME SHIT! ROLL 2D100 TO RESIST!

+45 for Great Grandma(?)
>>
Rolled 1, 46 = 47 (2d100)

>>4019749
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA COUNTERSLAP COUNTERSLAP COUNTERSLAP
>>
Rolled 93, 29 = 122 (2d100)

>>4019749

Communist Slap!!!!
>>
>>4019749
>another autoloss
>>
Rolled 30, 95 = 125 (2d100)

>>4019749
>>
Rolled 70, 36 = 106 (2d100)

>>4019749
U--*hurk*--rah...
>>
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>>4019754
You feel like you're losing power! SHE'S DRAINING YOU!
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4019770
Gather whatever strength is left to try and escape out of this temple
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4019770

Somebody come and help her!!!
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4019770
Shieeert...where are the grunts, I need backup!
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4019770
FUCK IT, OPEN THE MYSTERY BOX.
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4019770
Dad! Mom!
Uncle Zebra!
Anyone!
>>
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>>4019777
THE CEILING BURSTS OPEN AS YOUR SIBLINGS JUMP IN!
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4019815
OH SHIT RASPUTIN, CHOSEN ONE AND BETTY LET'S FUCKING GO
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4019815
Gogogogogoooooo
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4019815
Let's make grandma pay!
>>
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>>4019817
Betty and Rasputin slams into her! Her grip on you has loosened, allowing The Chosen One to grab you and drag you outta there!
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4019833
Oh shit, we just unleashed a greater evil than ourselves. There's only one solution, we gotta DESTROY IT.
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4019833
Hey Rasputin, make sure its somewhat alive as its our grandma, maybe, we gotta cash in all those birthdays she missed!
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4019833
Grunts attempt to communicate with ancient horror using advanced communist science - however while this happens Rasputin also beats the hell out of it
>>
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>>4019837
"Probably, sister. But now we gotta get you outta here, you don't look so good" The Chosen One props you up and hurries you out of the temple as USSR forces converge into the area!

Which is about time for me to....sleep. Gotta not fuck up my liver. Also tomorrow the gulag calls. Will continue some time later. shit.

updates be here:
https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4019866
aw shit, we got some plot going
>>
Our grandma is kinda hot to be honest
>>
>>4020375
Looks run in the family
>>
Let's get equality prime onto the battlefield. I think that's our way of fighting while Shotasniffer is drained.
>>
>>4020395
Do we even know if Lolisniffer has a dad or mom, Greg's parents were pretty chill but apparenly Lolisniffer came before him
>>
>>4021080
We dont talk about it.
>>
>>4021120
...he's right behind me isn'-
>>
So the good thing the temple inside turns out to be a unspeakable evil whose first instinct is to try and kill us.
I have a small suspicion that it's Lolisniffer's fault somehow.
>>
>>4021735
To be fair, anybody would be pissed off after getting disturbed from a nap good enough to last multiple centuries.
>>
>>4021735
Everything is Lolisniffers fault
>>
>>4020375
Thoughts like these are forbidden
>>
I am probably retarded but how do you view the archive files? Trying to read skeleton island 1 but when I extract the zip and go to a specific part, inside is one folder with all the images and one html document, however opening the html file just leads to a blank page
>>
>>4022862
Works for me. Which part are you opening?
>>
>>4022912
I am opening part 2. I unzip the big zip, go to part 2, and open the html file. Is there a specific software I need to open it with?
>>
>>4023342
Internet Explorer works
>>
>>4023342
Open it using any browser should work, IE, Chrome, Firefox, etc
>>
where's OP
>>
>>4024341
Mouse problems
>>
we really should have cancelled super robot season 3 for good
now fester's bad luck affects all of us
>>
>>4025531
Super Robot Season 3 did nothing wrong
>>
>>4025835
it wronged me
>>
>>4026084
your love is weak
>>
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>>4026103
I disagree
>>
>>4025835
It made Fester win
Dice God is displeased
>>
>>4026178
>skelleboobs
disgusting
there is only flat
>>4026387
Fester mostly did nothing wrong
>>
>>4026400
Dice God does not care
>>
>>4026408
then he neither displeased or pleased
>>
>>4026178
A disregard for proper anatomy is a pathway to possibilities some consider unnatural
>>
>>4026552
is your mouse working now
>>
>>4026559
Yeah, thread in an hour, I gotta eat dinner
>>
>>4026560
Based
>>
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>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>4026616
Oh I see OP is in *that* mood
>>
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>>4026618
what mood
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4026619
the mood to take over Donkey Kong Island!
>>
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>>4026621
For what purpose
>>
>>4026625
potassium, for our bone goddess. Those damn dirty apes have had it good for far too long!
>>
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>>4026626
Yeah but I kinda dont wanna get sued by Nintendo tho
>>
>>4026633
Just use a black bar to cover their faces
>>
>>4026633
dont be dumb
>>
>>4026633
About our grandma...
>>
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>>4026634
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4026642
Start quest
>>
>>4026642
>>4026639
>>
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>>4026647
Alright

SAVE LOADED

You are currently being taken to safety due to having your strength and power drained
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4026642
I think it's time for our hero to wake from this very fevered dream and return to reality.
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4026653
"Durr orbital bombardment" before passing out
>>
File: 1.png (827 B, 500x500)
827 B
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>>4026658
"wait wut" the Chosen One says as you pass out
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4026661
Wake up in time to regret our delirious decision
>>
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Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4026665
Roll 2d100 to wake up in time
>>
Rolled 51, 27 = 78 (2d100)

>>4026667
>>
>>4026661
mean while On Donkey Kong Island which is a black bar floating on the sea.
>>
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>>4026672
"Yeah, yeah. She wants to bomb this place off the map. Arm the payloads and standby"
>>
Rolled 65, 81 = 146 (2d100)

>>4026667
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4026679
Lose grip on consciousness
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4026679
stand by what? I see a stop sign, a shakies pizza
>>
File: 1.png (856 B, 500x500)
856 B
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>>4026681
Whoops, back to sleep
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4026684
Switch to the lover of the Russian queen
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4026684
switch to unconscious dream scape
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4026684
flashback to your skeleton anatomy class back in highschool
>>
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>>4026685
Boop, let's switch our cameras down back to the temple ruins to see how Rasputin and Betty are faring
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4026697
seems they are doing ok what is on the other channel.
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4026697
watch them do something interesting
>>
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>>4026698
"Pssst, hey. I'm a totally legit business man. Ya wanna buy video games?"
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4026708
crank call him, ask him if his engine is running.
>>
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>>4026708
hmmm....
>>
>>4026711
darn wish I could read....
>>
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>>4026709
"Of course. For 17 years!"
>>
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>>4026716
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4026716
The USSR bomb Todd as well
>>
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>>4026727
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4026733
Good, now ger back to shotasniffers Plot
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4026733
Maddness! I wanted to watch the CW!
>>
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>>4026736
Shotasniffer's whatnow
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4026752
Plot, as she grows as a character, away from dictator pedo towards a...a...hmmm
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4026752
Princess Lilly arrives with reinforcements
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4026752
The quest, the story, the events as they unfold
>>
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>>4026754
Hm yes, let us ponder this question.
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4026761
Lets leave Fester to do that, meanwhile how's Rasputin doing? You said something about him being OP
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4026761
>>4026755
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4026761
Payloads away!
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4026761
GOD DAMN IT OP, this CLIFF HANGER
>>
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>>4026765
Since the bombing is distracting Grandma right now, Rasputin takes the chance to get Betty outta there
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4026783
Jeez Rasputin, no need to look so scared, just think of all the birthday and christmas gifts she owes us and the Boy
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4026783
Try to remember what granpappy said about grandma and sleeping.
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4026783
Don't worry, grandma has a preset kill limit. All we have to do is throw WAVE after WAVE of redshirts at her.
>>
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>>4026794
Wait. If she can drain power from people. Wouldn't that just feed her and feed her until she's unstoppable
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4026801
Then she will become fat and lazy and will start watching shitty melodramas
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4026801
Maybe she will overload on power and blow up
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4026804
Like butting too much air in a balloon!
>>
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>>4026803
Sounds improbable
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4026815
Okay, then lets just bomb the whole island
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4026817
this, get to dah choppah
>>
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Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4026817
Right, let's evacuate our forces!

Roll 2d100

Grandma has a +30
>>
Rolled 88, 69 = 157 (2d100)

>>4026827
>ANOTHER autoloss
>>
Rolled 57, 25 = 82 (2d100)

>>4026827
DICE GOD WHAT THE HELL!? THERE AREN'T EVEN ANY COWBOYS IN HERE
>>
Rolled 23, 44 = 67 (2d100)

>>4026827
>>
Rolled 34, 86 = 120 (2d100)

>>4026827
>>
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>>4026829
Rasputin was the last to leave, as he wanted to make sure everyone got out first! Which made him the prime target for grandma! He's been taken!
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4026847
RASPUTIN NO
YOU HAVE TO RESIST, RASPUTIN
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4026847
RASPUTIIIN, GET THE ROPE AND YANK HIM BACK!
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4026847
YOU FOOL, THATS WHY BE BROUGHT THE RED SHIRTS!
>>
>>4026855
He too, wears a red shirt
>>
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>>4026849
"GO! I'LL HOLD HER BACK!" yelled Rasputin as the island is bombarded
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4026867
.... Call for the retreat order, get the airship and retreat all our forces
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4026867
We know this isnt gonna work.

Call uncle Simon. He was the cool uncle right? He wont get mad at us like dad.
>>
>>4026867
dasvidaniya comrade
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4026872
>>
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>>4026870
Onboard one of the USSR's Siege Copter Mechs. You managed to slip out of unconsciousness for a bit to order your underlings to contact uncle Simon
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4026895
I hope we learn our lesson about opening cursed mystery boxes
>>
>>4026901
Always open them above a vulcano
>>
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>>4026901
Ah yes, an ancient mystical sarcophagus of great evil. Truly one of the most irresistible kinds of mystery boxes
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4026929
What is this sorcery? I see actual coloration
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4026929
Grandma's still alive, isn't she.
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

wait for the smoke and flame to clear
>>
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>>4026930
Whoops, ther goes all out budget
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4026941
Again, you oughta sell out to Raids Shadow Legends, which you can play for free on IOS, Android and PC, use the special promo code "Yellows Rule" to get three free heroes!
>>
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>>4026946
Anyway, it's 3AM and doctor says I gotta not stay up so late. THREAD SUSPENDED. will continue later. Probably. maybe. shieeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4026951
Aight, OP
>>
>>4026951
>https://twitter.com/notapaladin
ok but now post the REAL twitter
>>
>>4026954
>>4026954
You gotta buy the DLC first
>>
>>4026870
>He was the cool uncle right?
You know your family is fucked up when a weeblover skeleton with a split personality of being a wrestler is consoder the cool and saneone among his brothers
>>
>>4027374
Tex is a repeated rape victim and cowboy. And everyone knows that Westerns do the worst in the box office.

Fug Ace Attorney will need to be another day.
>>
>>4027412
>Tex is a repeated rape victim and cowboy
Rape victim turn disgusting gay freak is Zebra, Tex is the asshole child killer
>>
>>4027430
Also probably a evil oil baron in life, going by how he looked like when he was human
>>
>>4027430
Tex got raped by his clone roughly 3 times during Villain Adventure 2
>>
>>4027516
Ah yeah, the feamle one.
Still better than what Zebra got
>>
time to start selling commissions for the budget OP
>>
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post
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4030554
write
"here lies marian's sense of selfrespect"
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4030554
"Here lie OP's hopes and dreams"
>>
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>>4030558
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4030559
dig under it
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4030559
Tell me about Rasputin! Why does he wear the mask?
>>
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>>4030561
The Chosen One stays silent. That's alotta loyalty for a skeleton.
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4030569
Pose with hands on hips
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4030569

Where is Simon?
>>
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>>4030571
Getting shot at! By the exploding island's debris, after he jumped out of a plane. He doesn't look like he's flying good.
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

brace for impact
>>
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>>4030580
Brace for impact? You're in an aircraft escaping the scene, you crashing or something?
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4030585
dunno, look outside
are we gaining altitude or losing it
>>
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Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4030586
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 12, 71 = 83 (2d100)

>>4030589
>>
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>>4030591
You managed to escape with your USSR troops. It's up to Uncle Simon now to get Rasputin out of there. Time to return to base in order to recover your strength and wait for the results
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4030598
Play as Simon
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4030598
hopefully dad wasn't really fond of that island.
anyway dead thread.
attract anons with some cameo
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4030598
prey for Simon at the shrine
>>
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>>4030608
Yes, the ancient Skele shrine you found near your mountains. The one that the Chosen One claimed to have received visions from the skeleton god, making him the chosen one. Which he later admitted to be some bullshit he made up.
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4030622
yes, that one.
>>
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Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4030626
According to Chosen One it's not even an actual shrine, more like a weird art piece. But you can try

Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 59, 65 = 124 (2d100)

>>4030637
>>
Rolled 52, 95 = 147 (2d100)

>>4030637
>>
Rolled 69, 23 = 92 (2d100)

>>4030637
should have dragged quattro to drink here
>>
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>>4030643
Nothing happened
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4030645
needs more booze
>>
Rolled 48, 42 = 90 (2d100)

>>4030645
Try again but with more vigor
>>
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>>4030647
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4030664
okay, try praying again but after drinking quattro's booze
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4030664
Form an Emergency War Council:
Chosen One as Chief Advisor
Betty as Chief Enforcer
Marian in charge of Research & Development
Quattro in charge of Morale
Lily in charge of Diplomacy

First topic for council: how to unfuck this situation
>>
>>4030666
>666
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
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Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4030665
Rolll 2d100 again!

+1 bonus
>>
Rolled 77, 10 = 87 (2d100)

>>4030674
>>
Rolled 70, 20 = 90 (2d100)

>>4030674
can you be a skeleton and a lush at the same time?
>>
Rolled 10, 30 = 40 (2d100)

>>4030674
>>
Rolled 71, 86 = 157 (2d100)

>>4030674
>>4030676
>>4030677
>>4030678
what the hell are you guys rolling
DO IT WITH MORE VIGOR URAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>
Rolled 57, 40 = 97 (2d100)

>>4030674
>>
>>4030676
>>4030677
>>4030678
>>4030679
>>4030680
This is why Marx said "Religion is the opium of the people"
>>
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>>4030676
Nothing happened. Again!

Now you're kinda mad and wanna hit something!
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4030684
Take your wrath out on every surf board in sight, then lament your own weakness to save your minion
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4030684
Huck drink at statue for giving false hope. Keep the tiny umbrella though, might rain later.
>>
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>>4030689
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4030691
Attach umbrella to hat and ponder next step of our master plan
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4030693
>>4030666
>>
>>4030691
whoops
>>4030695
>>
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>>4030695
Right, now what. Rasputin is still missing. Let's hope uncle Simon can deal with that. In the meantime, you gotta do something else to further your plans of world domination
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4030709
Let's start sending raiding parties out, can we research submarines? We'll sink cargo ships and plunder their goods like pirates.
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4030709
Throw a dart at a board to decide next action
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4030709
invent better vodka
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4030709
We still got a space program right? Build some spy satellites, our lack of info on the outside world is a major problem.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4030721
+
>>
>>4030709
>>4030721
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4030709
>>4030727
Whoops
>>
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>>4030719
Quiet, Quattro
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4030731
>>4030721
Let's get some satellites going.
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4030731
Let's raid some goblin cities.
>>
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>>4030735
The work begins. The former GSG factories is a great asset for this endeavor
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4030753
Do we still have the wreckage of Marian's mech on hand?
>>
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>>4030754
"Yes, big sis. It's in the scrap pile"
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4030768
"Good, destroy it further so that we may never step into a mec"
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4030768
I have plans for said scrap, can we restore it?
We could have Marian as another one of our combat units.
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4030768
Rebuild it, it will be our new satellite
>>
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>>4030771
"But what about Equality Prime? It was one of our symbols! you used it to cut Marian's Gunbuster G in half, winning us the succession war"
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4030778
Good point, restore it instead and send it into space as a satellite also make porn of equality prime illegal
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4030778
>>4030773
UH, retract that statement
Mechs are useful to us.
Let's make Marian's little mech into a satellite. Perhaps we can expand it into a space station after?
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4030778
Mechs are cursed.
>>
>>4030778
"destroy it as well, so that I may never step into a mec again. Even if by accident. "
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4030778
Good point.
Tell Marian to draw up plans for some sort of upgraded supermech, like a Gunbuster R or something.
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4030785
>>
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>>4030784
"I wonder why.....Anyway, construction's will take a while. Is there anything else you need done, sis?"
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4030790
Yes, for you to have a great day, I'm off to see if Marian has made any progress in his recovery
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4030790
>>4030793
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4030790
>>4030793
Let's go see our brother and perhaps see if we can get him to do work. He'd be a good researcher
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4030790
I'm gonna go form some sort of council of advisors, mostly to make my siblings feel better about the ass thrashing I handed out, but partly so I have someone to blame when things go wrong
>>
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>>4030794
The Chosen One thanks you as you make your way over to the USSR-controlled GSG office

"Ah, big sis" the VP greets you as you step into the suite
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4030813
So are you technically the boss while Marian undergoes therapy?
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4030813
Where's Marian? I hope not in the bathroom again.
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4030813
Has Marian tried to kill himself?
>>
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>>4030815
"Yeah, me and The Director run things whenever he's indisposed"
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4030824
>>4030816
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4030824
How's he anyways?
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4030824
How's he doing?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4030824
Institute new policy - starting next week, you all dye your uniforms Red!
>>
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>>4030827
"Well, he's...."

Roll 2d100, the higher the second roll, the better
>>
Rolled 79, 33 = 112 (2d100)

>>4030830
>>
Rolled 64, 78 = 142 (2d100)

>>4030830
>>
Rolled 95, 73 = 168 (2d100)

>>4030830
>>
Rolled 84, 97 = 181 (2d100)

>>4030830
so we want to roll low, got it
>>
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>>4030833
"He's making progress, actually. Been doing exercises to get into the swing of things. Currently he's jogging around the island"
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4030836
Nice, so what are you guys working on right now?
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4030836
"NOT GOOD ENOUGH", grab quattro and marian and then mix up their skeleton parts so they become two new people
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4030836
I'm looking for ways to increase our production. The USSR was good during the battle for the island, but now that we're going to compete on the world stage, we need to be building better tech faster.
>>
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>>4030839
"Erm. Not much. Since you haven't given us any major projects. For now we're just making sure everything runs smoothly, production is going on as normal and our brothers and sisters are happy"
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4030845
Right...uhhh...build some durable airship or a blueprint for one
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4030843
taking another swing at this
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4030845
I need new weapons, Great Grandma kicked my ass way too easily. Use the remains of Gunbuster G and build me something communist and devastating.
>>
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>>4030846
"Ah of course. We need a symbol of your power when you make your presence known during raids. A flying fortress. I'll look into it. Perhaps we could base it on the existing USSR war blimp"
>>
>>4030850
>100
WOAH THERE BIG FELLA
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4030852
YES!...a blimp that I totally remembered existed...anyways keep up the good work I'll check what Quattro and Bobby are up to
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4030852
Also be prepared for a visit from uncle Simon
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4030852
Sounds good. Let's go see what Quattro (or his remaining lieutenant) is up to.

>>4030853
Sadly, too slow
>>
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>>4030862
Quattro's visiting Bobby in the island prison, due to Bobby's previous attempt to bomb you.

"Ey kid, how ya doin?"

"Soon, we will have our revenge, big bro. Soon the communists will fall!"
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4030873
Stare at them menacingly
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4030873
How did you get back your sunglasses?
Bash Bobby in the head.
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4030873
Nah, either way Quattro, I'm thinking of reopening your grill on the resort that you will also be in charge of, you may take Bobby if he promises to chill
>>
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>>4030876
"OH MY GOD THANK YOU BIG SIS, THANK YOU THANK YO---I uh, mean. Ahem....Glad to see you've had some senses, Shotasniffer"
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4030895
Stop being a wuss, that's Marians thing
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4030895
Bobby are you planning another breakout sponsored by Dad again?
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4030895
I need you to keep the masses happy while I work them to undeath as part of my 5 year plan . Maybe look into bread and circuses, I hear people like those.

>>4030899
Quattro was having emotional breakdowns before it was cool
>>
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>>4030904
"Alright. Come Bobby, we have work to do and alcohol to consume"

"But bro, what about REVOLUTION?!"
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4030908
I'm beginning to think this might be the alternate universe Bobby
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4030908
>>4030900
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4030908
Silly Bobby, there's already been a communist revolution.

Go check on Lily's faction, just to keep things balanced.
>>
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>>4030910
"Nnnnno I won't....mostly because Dad never sponsored any of my attempts.....which means that technically, I can still make my own, self funded attempts, hehehe"
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4030920
Okay whatever Bobby.
Lets go see Lilly, she should be home by now. Wonder if she liked the snack we left for her
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4030920
Check up on the blues.
>>
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>>4030925
"Lilly's currently busy with homework"
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4030940
Wait does that mean the Boy has come back too
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4030940
Don't tell me she actually wears that armor to school. I need to buy her a nice dress sometime
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4030940
I'll write her a college recommendation letter if she agrees to help me with negotiating with the outside world. She's objectively our cutest representative.
>>
>>4030951
Spitting out facts here
>>
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>>4030942
Ah yes, Boy. The demon child that Rasputin adopted after killing the boy's actual demon lord dad. He's back home at the USSR base

"Hello sir, have you seen Rasputin anywhere? I wanna show him the A I got at school"

"uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4030954
Lay down on the floor
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4030954
He's fighting your great great grandma right now for dominance. He will be back tomorrow.
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4030954
Take a big huff of that shota. Been too long

then this >>4030951
>>
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>>4030956
"Oh okay. That's good to hear! He's the best! No way he can be beaten!"
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4030962
No way he can lose. Ra Ra Rasputine, right Boy? *laugh nervously and return to Lilly*
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4030962
Beaten? Maybe not but what about eaten?
Let us say, theoretically, that if Rasputin came across a monster two thousand times as big as him. This monster could easily swallow and digest him, now couldn't it? The scale of such a monster would simply be too big to destroy, and it would eat you without effort.
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4030962
MEANWHILE AT THE ISLAND
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4030962
Take Lily and Boy out for ice cream. Contemplate having kids of your own, if you ever meet someone you're not related to.
>>
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>>4030968
"Uh sis. You okay there? You're drooling"
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4030980
SUPLEX
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4030980
EVERY. THING. IS. FINE.
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4030980
Fine, I'm fine. Everything's fine. How are you? So anyway. Diplomacy, make Lily and boy cute clothes. Short shorts. Igottago!
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4030980
Sniff
>>
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>>4030989
"Uh, okay"
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4030998
>>4030994
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4030998
I am going shopping now. You want to join me?
>>
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>>4031001
"Shopping? For what?"
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4031013
Things for Lilly of course. And weiners.
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>4031013
Boy clothes...I mean....uhhhhh...a pony for Lilly, her birthday is coming up...I think
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4031013
>>4031014
>>
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>>4031014
"Ah, alright. Lilly needs school supplies, after all." And so you head off to the Island's mall....that you also control, being the mistress of Skeleton Island and all.

AND THAT'S IT FOR THREAD, SHIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET

PART 2 SOME TIME THIS DECADE.

UPDATES B GERE: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4031041
we blew our budget for this episode
>>
>>4031048
Oh yeah definitely
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

Rollan for budget donations
>>
>>4031051
You know what to do OP, rev up that Shotasniffer/Betty/Lilly porn for commissions
>>
>>4031062
Stop
>>
>>4031062
Thoughts like these are forbidden
>>
>>4031015
>a pony for Lilly
>pony
yeah..definitely for Lily...that will be housed in Shotasniffer's own stable for safekeeping
yeah
>>
>>4031062
there are crimes even Lolisniffer won't commit
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4031062
Rollan to beat up this absolutely deranged anon
>>
now time to wait one or two centuries for the next thread
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4031062
>>4031111
Rolling for uncen commissions
>>
>>4031758
That's a bit much.

Probably only 1 century
>>
>>4032214
if you get a million dollars for your secret bank account would it become one millisecond
>>
>>4032227
Maybe 2
>>
>>4032228
Yeaaa.... I wouldn't wanna come back if I saw any of these posts either.
>>
beige
>>
>>4036638
Beige doesn't exist
>>
>>4036676
beige beige beige beige beige beige
>>
>>4036680
No
>>
I will make beige real.
>>
this thread is going places
>>
>>4038278
Mostly to hell
>>
Soon(tm)
>>
(mt)nooS
>>
>>4041924
>>4041935
https://twitter.com/notapaladin/status/1220325020854972416
>>
>within a minute of me posting
Legit cursed
>>
>>4041936
So I guess it'll be next week then
>>
>>4041939
next week is relative
>>
>>4043808
like OP's existence
>>
>>4043901
Schrodinger's OP
>>
>>4043904
where OP has a chance of existing or not existing after making an announcement
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

Lets just go ahead and determine what curse will happen.
1-20 OP gets food poisoning
21-40 OP is occupied by his family
41-60 Headaches
61-80 Connection down the shitter
81-99 Ear infection again
100 Thread actually happens, wow
>>
>>4046428
The pact is sealed



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