Previously On What The Fuck Quest:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=WTFQ

>Update schedule:
At least one large update a day.
Monday through Friday I try to post by 530 UTC

I post additional updates when I can, often on the weekend.

I will answer any questions I can as soon as I can.

File: WTFQCS003.png (2.08 MB, 1761x4135)

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>The Quest Rules: Calvinball Edition
>Rule 0: The rules will probably change. You might be informed of the changes.
>Rule 1: This will be a highly narrative quest and therefore stats, abilities, modifiers, and dice rolls will be extremely important. Unfortunately, we don't know what all of them are yet.
>Rule 2: Currently suspended in Jello (lime-flavored)
In order to break the ice, after the first vote of the thread, only "write-in" votes will be accepted by voters with 1 post. This will make complete scents, trust me.
>Rule 3: There are at least four rules and I will not stop this nonsense until we have achieved our goal. We should probably look further into having some sort of goal.
>Rule 4: Many challenges will be settled by opposed rolls where I roll a set of d100 and the players must roll higher on a matching set to succeed or have the enemy fail and I must then somehow justify the results. Modifiers and variations can occur and likely be made up on the spot.
>Rule 5: How the loli/brown loli meter works: As you acquire "Loli Biscuits", you slide the meter in either direction. When the gauge is all the way to the left or right, Gary becomes said Loli. No method of acquiring Loli Biscuits has appeared in the quest.
>Rule 6: All tied votes will be recalculated with the votes that include reasoning being given additional weight (perhaps 20%, so that five reasoned votes would outweigh 6 unreasoned.)
>Rule 7: This quest is from the fixed perspective of Gary. If he is incapacitated for any length of time, there will a Time Skip forward until such time that he may interact.


Any questions? Excellent. Let's go!

>>4201527
so you decided to follow my tip, huh ?

>>4201559
I was already working on it, but it was a good tip.
...phrasing.

Rolled 16, 4, 70, 61, 49, 33 = 233 (6d100)

>>4201484
>>4201487

You stay in the village that night. You Ileska, and Raf bunking in a simple guest-house the villagers provide travelers.

Ohm and Sven, not needing to sleep, walk outside the town walls and chat all night, about whatever a hyper-intelligent construct freshly liberated into the world and a disembodied spirit possessing a troll skeleton wrapped like a scarecrow might talk about, so, God only knows what.

The five of you head out early and make good time with Sven riding behind you on Horsebro, Ohm riding behind Ileska on her horse.

Seeing your closest friend in this world enjoy the company of the odd little golem makes you smile.
Raf rides along in dull soldier silence.

In the early afternoon, you stop the horses when you see a large menacing figure lumbering in the road. He looks massive, with huge muscular girth like he could tear you apart limb from limb.

His head and jaw seem disproportionately large as if he might be able to bite a man's head off. It seems like the hair from his head mingles with long hair growing from his shoulders in a disgusting form of matted down mane.

Over seven feet tall, he is wearing ragged fur crudely tied around him with a thick rope, yet he also has what looks like a gossamer-thin grey cloak hanging off his back and draped over his left arm.

"The ogre..." Raf whispers. "This must be the ogre that has been raiding villages with a band of goblins."
"What is he doing in the middle of the road?" Ileska asks.

You slowly urge your horses and ride towards the ogre. You do not want to get too close to him because you don't know what he might do. You can only hope that he isn't going to charge and attack you.

"The ogre creature seems to simply be pacing in the road." Observes Ohm.
You tell everyone to be quiet and everyone just watches the ogre for awhile.

The large creature doesn't seem to notice you at all and the ogre eventually stops his lumbering pacing and turns around slowly.
He haltingly walks down the road in your general direction while ignoring and slowly passing you.

It sniffs the air and stops beside you all and, staring straight at you, it silently looks at each of your faces as if trying to understand something written upon them. Its breath and body odor is truly foul.

Raf is anxiously gripping his sword hilt. The ogre doesn't look armed, but it might be strong enough that a punch could be lethal. You might want to strike first, but only if you can win.

For some reason, Ileska is just staring at his thin grey cloak. As a skilled witch, she may have noticed something.

>Choose one and roll6d100:
>Attack! Maul him and hope your party's superior action economy will overcome his superior strength.
>Run Away!: Let Raf take on this brute himself, this isn't your job.
>Diplomacy!: Try greeting and talking to the ogre, he hasn't attacked yet.
>Ask Ileska what her deal is.
>Magic [Write-In]
>Write-In


G/I/S/R/O/Ogre

Copied Tg5hN72e's vote and roll from last thread:

>>4201575
Rolled 60, 48, 4, 46, 94, 28 = 280 (6d100)

>>4201487 (You) #
>>4201575

>Ask Ileska what her deal is.
woman, is there any important detail in his robe ? maybe something like that orange thing that ogre had ?

>>4201580
This one >>>4201508

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I'll keep the voting and rolling open for a little while.

Rolled 88, 15, 6, 43, 16, 25 = 193 (6d100)

>>4201575
>Ask Ileska what her deal is.

rolling for success of asking Ileska a question

>>4201619
>>4202556
>Erotimatikophobia?

You can tell that Ileska has noticed something important, but you don't understand what. You quietly ask her what she's looking at while keeping your eyes on the strangely behaving ogre.

"Gary," she whispers. "Look at what that is on his back and arm. I don't think that's a cloak."
You take a moment to really look at it.

You had noticed it was frayed at the bottom, but that's hardly surprising. But now, you realize that you can't see any hem or stitching and it doesn't seem to be tied or clasped on.

In fact, it just seems to be clinging to him like a-
Suddenly it makes perfect sense and then it immediately doesn't any sense at all.

It may be thin, but the threads are thick enough that you can see separate strands from several feet away. There's no way it could be...

"Ileska?" You ask, slightly concerned about the answer. "Is that the web of a giant spider?"
You don't hear her response.

"SPIDER!" The ogre thunderously bellows, his eyes wide as he takes a wild, lunging backhanded swing at your head. You duck as fast as you can and feel the tremendous force of his blow as the air rushes past your head and you hear a loud crack.

You feel Sven fly off the back of Horsebro so fast that you are fairly certain that he will land in Ironshod.
You urge Horsebro back as another wild swing flies past.

Ileska dodges the blow and Ohm successfully strikes the ogre in the shoulder with her staff, but it seems to have little effect. Raf has drawn his sword but is struggling to keep his horse from fleeing.

The ogre spins around again, eyes wide and unfocused on anything. It screams "SPIDER!" once again as throws another punch at you, that you skillfully dodge.

The spiderweb has pulled back from his left arm and you can now see two large, bright-red holes in his arm, which has turned a sickly mottled yellow and green. From the size of the bite, the spider's mandibles have to be around seven inches apart.

The half-mad ogre is charging for another wild attack. What do you do?

>Choose one and roll5d6:
>Attack!: Swing your maul and trust your party's numbers will overcome his blind strength.
>Attack!: Get in close with your knife where he can't swing as hard.
>Run Away!: Agree with Raf's horse and run away in a panic.
>Try to calm him down like a scientist extra in an old B-movie, whynot?
>Magic [Write-In]
>Write-In
G/I/R/O/Ogre

Rolled 82, 9, 67, 2, 67 = 227 (5d100)

>>4203443
>Magic [Blind]
Thank glob we don’t have any rolls to beat

Rolled 49, 31, 52, 99, 26 = 257 (5d100)

>>4203443
>Magic

Illusion of a giant spider

Assuming OP meant 5d100 when he wrote 5d6

Rolled 28, 27, 9, 85, 75 = 224 (5d100)

>>4203530
>Thank glob we don’t have any rolls to beat
>>4203873
>Assuming OP meant 5d100 when he wrote 5d6
...
Is there a magic spell to hide my shame?
I actually wrote 6d6, caught it, and still screwed it up.

>>4204051
Actually yes, it's called delete post and repost

There's a time requirement on that spell though and it's long since passed.

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Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4203873
>>4203530
>Monstruous and abominable eyes they were

As the ogre charges, Ileska spins her horse around, trying to gain some distance from the beastly threat. This gives Ohm a clear shot and she takes it, striking the ogre hard in the face with the side of her fork staff.

The ogre staggers for a moment, stunned. You take the opportunity to cast a spell: "Giant spider illusion".

Suddenly, Shelob appears next to the ogre, waving her forelegs at him. He wildly flails rapid punches through the phantasmal arachnid until she spits a spray of illusionary webbing at his face.

He furiously claws at his face, obscuring his vision and Raf strikes. His sword dips, lifts, and slashes the ogre's throat, pouring bright red blood down the front of him.

Reflexively, the ogre swats Raf away, hard enough to leave a dent in his armor. To Raf's credit, he manages to stay in his saddle.

The ogre drops to his knees and crashes into a lumpy pile, bleeding out into the road. You release the spell, waving Shelob away, back into oblivion.

Dismounting, Raf sheaths his sword and checks the body.
"You were right," he says, turning to Ileska.

"These are definitely the web and bitemark of a giant spider. The poison is strong enough that he might not have survived, even if we hadn't come along. But, such monstrous spiders aren't native to the area, even in the wild mountains."

"It's troubling," Ileska says, riding closer and looking down at the corpse with a grim expression. "We should track down this creature before it harms anyone else."

"If it is at all like the energy projection that Gary produced, I would very much like to observe such a living creature," Ohm adds.

"I could certainly track the ogre's path, to find where it came from..." Raf comments. "But I'm not sure either of you is wearing armor that could withstand a bite from such a monster."

"I can handle myself," Ileska says confidently. "And Gary, well..."
"I CAN HELP!" The ogre booms as he leaps to his feet.

Raf let's out a deepthroated scream and begins furiously stabbing the ogre in the chest with his sword.
"Excuse me, Raf the soldier, would you mind stopping doing that?"

Raf freezes in the middle of a stab and looks up at the dead-eyed smiling face of the ogre corpse.
"Oh." Pipes up Ohm. "It is you, Sven. You were quite right. I can see how that would be a useful ability. I am entirely unable to detect your spiritual presence."

Raf pulls his sword out of Sven's torso while muttering a quiet apology as Ileska rides up alongside you.
"What do you think, Gary? Should we track down this spider menace?"

>Choose one and roll 1d100:
>Bravely hunt down the spider and kill the giant spider!
>Stealthily track the ogre's trail and identify the threat.
>Cautiously go to Raf's garrison to prepare a proper scouting party.
>Cowardly refuse to go near the icky spider.
>Write-In

>>4205107

>Stealthily track the ogre's trail and identify the threat.

But first steal his threads
Spidersilk cloak yall
Fantasy giant spider even
I bet it's bulletproof
Maybe we could tame this giant spider and have it make us clothes

Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4205107
>>4205122
A shot for me

Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>4205107
>Stealthily track the ogre's trail and identify the threat.

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>>4205131
>>4205124
>>4205122
>Parlor tricks

You agree that you should track ogre's trail and see what the threat is. Raf nods and remounts his horse.

You help Sven make sure his torso wounds won't make him fall apart and you collect the spider web. It feels as durable as thin cloth and the frayed edge tears easily, but it is damn light and far more sturdy than any normal spider web and not sticky like one.

As you fold up and pack the web, Sven walks thirty feet away and collects his scarecrow body, stuffing it into a sack on Horsebro.
Ohm turns her head quizzically at Sven.

"You are keeping your previous body? I would think the ogre-creature's form would be superior."
"It is now, but soon it will rot and decay. My prepared body will be much more useful then."
"Ah, yes. Decay... Living bodies are odd."

You all saddle up, except Sven, who is now too large and simply runs behind. You all follow Raf as he proceeds slowly forward, tracking the ogre's path away from the road and into the forest.

You all move as quietly and stealthily as you can and eventually Raf signals everyone to dismount. You secure the horses and slowly creep forward.

In a forest clearing, you find a thirty-foot to forty-foot web stretched across the many trees. Embedded within the web, cocooned in white are many small, green-skinned figures, less than three feet tall, all very dead.

Ileska lets out a tiny, imperceptibly quiet gasp as a blue and white spider the size of an SUV gracefully dances across the delicate white cords of the web. It continually makes little adjustments to the arrangement of the bodies which you now notice are in roughly the shape of a five-pointed star within the circular web.

Suddenly, the spider soundlessly disappears and instantly reappears on the other side of the web, making more adjustments.
"A Blink Spider- I didn't think they really existed." Ileska whispers so quietly you can barely make it out

Raf turns to her and whispers the question "What is it doing with the web? Are they intelligent?"

Ileska shakes her head. "The stories just say teleporting and becoming intangible at will. This one may be enchanted.

>Choose one and roll 6d100:
>Attack!: Send Ohm and Sven in to distract the spider while you and Ileska shoot it and Raf charges.
>Run Away!: Let the spider do it's thing here and go get reinforcements.
>Magic [Write-In]
>Write-In

Rolled 58, 99, 93, 81, 22, 11 = 364 (6d100)

>>4207625
>MAGIC

try fireballing the web
you know
for fun

Rolled 40, 38, 56, 69, 84, 47 = 334 (6d100)

>>4207720
going with this

Rolled 20, 57, 79, 50, 37, 97 = 340 (6d100)

>>4207625
>mfw the dice soundlessly disappear and not-so-instantly reappear on the other side of the update

Rolled 18, 15, 40, 45, 63, 41 = 222 (6d100)

>>4207720
>>4207730
>Goodness, Gracious,

You pull out your wand and aim it at the center of the web. Turning to your companions, you nod.

Ileska lifts her bow and nocks an arrow glancing at you with a small smile. Raf raises his sword and takes a position something like that of a track runner, ready to clear the tree he's standing behind and charge.

Looking at Sven and Ohm, it is harder to tell if they're ready. Sven is standing still with the ogre's dead-eyed grin and Ohm is standing next to Ileska, gripping her forkstaff tightly.

Turning back to your target, you cast "Fireball." and a baseball-sized sphere of flame flies from the tip of your wand into the heart of the web, igniting it with a small fire.
The spider looks up and Ileska's arrow strikes it right in one of its multiple eyes. The spider starts to screech and you add "Puff." and the web erupts in a giant fireball.

The spider teleports to a far edge of the web which then immediately buckles, sending the spider tumbling into a tree, which it phases through. It teleports again midair and reappears over another branching tree, phasing and teleporting again and again until it appears just above the ground in the clearing and lands gracefully, unharmed by the fire or fall.

It is instantly tackled by Sven's ogre form savagely grappling its neck. As it frantically bites and scrapes at the ogre latching onto it, Raf charges and slices off one of its back legs.

Ohm stands ready with her staff in case the spider appears nearby and Ileska as nocks another arrow. She pulls back the string in grim determination.

>Choose one and roll 6d100:
>Attack!: Shoot your bow at the spider from your safe distance.
>Charge!: Join Raf and Sven in melee with your maul.
>Magic [Write-In]
>Write-In

>>4209835
>Attack!: Shoot your bow at the spider from your safe distance.

Rolled 84, 49, 23, 27, 94, 54 = 331 (6d100)

>>4209867

Rolled 28, 92, 67, 65, 10, 74 = 336 (6d100)

>>4209835
>Attack!: Shoot your bow at the spider from your safe distance.

Like a coward. Luckily OP rolled bad

Rolled 54, 47, 9, 13, 54, 30 = 207 (6d100)

>>4210250
>>4209880
>>4209867
>In ogre your heads...

Sven swings around the spider's neck, grappling and pulling while his huge ogre feet kick and flail at the spider. Raf keeps trying to sever another leg while parrying blows from the increasingly aggressive giant spider.

It manages to barely trap Raf between two of its legs and is craning down to bite him when it suddenly reels its head back. Ileska and your arrows pierce two more of its multiple eyes.

It turns its head towards you, knocks Raf aside, and disappears. It reappears directly behind you.

You and Ileska quickly spin around at the sound of the ogre corpse dropping lifelessly to the ground. The spider reaches towards you with dripping and foul-smelling mandibles.

Ileska hastily and shakily tries to nock another arrow when suddenly, Ohm's forkstaff swings down hard, cracking the spider on the hard carapace of its head with a resounding vibration. It halts in place, apparently stunned mere feet away.

>Choose one and roll 6d100:
>Attack!: Step back and shoot your bow again a little further back.
>Squash!: Strike the spider as hard as you can with your maul.
>Magic [Write-In]
>Write-In

Rolled 92, 71, 99, 50, 75, 10 = 397 (6d100)

>>4212108
>Squash!: Strike the spider as hard as you can with your maul.

Rolled 1, 59, 28, 55, 65, 70 = 278 (6d100)

>>4212108
>Hammertime

and people wanted a shortsword. lol

>>4213483
Rolling on fumble chart #083!

Rolled 75 (1d100)

>The roll teleports into the next post!

>>4213483
just because I got a 92...

>>4213515
yup
did it to ruin your roll

All things considered, you got lucky on the chart roll at least.
This one has spontaneous combustion on it as a possibility.

>>4213687
Post chart

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>>4213756
Fine, but if you look up 75 you'll spoil the surprise.

>>4213816
>a coconut hits us as we squash the spider

>>4212111
>>4213483
>Operation: Resume Bashing

The spider lurches forward and Ohm again it again on the head with her fork staff but this time the spider doesn't even halt.
"Oh." She says calmly right before the spider snatches her up with its forelegs and bites hard into her torso.

Ileska leaps backward and looses an arrow into another of the spider's eyes. It flings Ohm off into the brush as it screeches in pain.

Not trusting the bow at this range, you discard it in favor of your trusty maul. The spider looms over you, raising several massive legs, poised to strike and crush you as you ready your swing.

Suddenly, rather than teleport or phase, the spider lifts several feet in the air, dangling its feet. On a second look, you realize that Sven is underneath the spider, lifting it off the ground with the strength of an undead ogre that can't feel pain.

"I have never been forcefully removed from a body before. I did not like it!"
It occurs to you that this is the first time Sven has sounded unhappy.

The spider's legs are scrambling, trying to find enough purchase, pulling at the brush, struggling to grip the tree overhead. Its head cranes downward, trying to bite Sven.

You swing your maul, smashing the arrows into its brains, and squishing its head. It flails and thrashes, knocking over Sven and landing on top of him as it pulls down several branches from the trees above.

Ileska dives out of the way and you suspect that she made it unscratched. You're not certain because a heavy branch cracks you on the head and shoulders and knocks you down.

--->

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>>4214622

Crawling out from under the branches, you see Raf walking up to the fallen spider twitching in the ground. He calmly plunges his sword into the spider, ending its life.

Raf withdraws his sword, cleans it, and sheathes it as you approach. Examining the dead monster, you notice faint wisps of blue light emerging from the carapace and slowly coalescing from all around the corpse into an orb floating about a foot above the spider.

The blue orb briefly flashes the pattern seen in the web earlier and then simply radiates magical energy that feels strange, not prickly like a curse, but cold, ominous, and somehow deeply alluring.

"Gary? What are you doing?"
Looking back at her in confusion, you see she is looking just in front of you. You look in front of you and see your own hand reaching towards the orb.

Raf is doing the same.
The orb draws your attention again...

"DON'T TOUCH THAT!" The strange voice is angry, demanding, and possessive rather than a warning.
You and Raf turn as a small man strides out of the trees.

The man is pale with pinched features with a brush cut, horn-rimmed glasses, and colorful robes. The effect is that of nerd from the '50s cosplaying as a "wizard".

"Reed," Ileska says with contempt, confirming your suspicion that it is a fairy approaching you. He scowls briefly at her, not pausing as he strides.

"Don't touch that!" He repeats. "How did you know to ignite the web before I could? This was your doing, wasn't you bratty little witch?"

Ileska just raises an eyebrow and smirks at him.
"Well, step away from the conduit! Don't you touch it! I don't care if you are the treasure, I will break your spine!"

His eyes lock on yours, proving that he can somehow see you through your shroud. You want to confront him, but also feel a strong urge to turn back to the orb.

>Attack!: Charge the approaching fairy with your maul.
>Examine the orb closely.
>Confront Reed and question the fairy.
>Touch the orb.
>Move Raf and yourself away from the orb
>Grab the orb firmly.
>Magic [Write-In]
>Caress the orb.
>Write-In

>>4214625
>Confront Reed and question the fairy.
What’s the deal with the orb ?

>>4214625
>Confront Reed and question the fairy.

>"I knew to ignite the web because I'm a goddamn genius, you floating fruit. Now tell us about the orb and maybe we'll let you have it when we're done."

an update that doesn't ask for a roll? what?

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>>4214673
>an update that doesn't ask for a roll? what?
And I might even update before falling asleep tonight!

>>4215994
...or not.

>>4214662
>>4214673
>A light Reed

"I knew to ignite the web because I'm a goddamn genius, you fruit loop." You say, causing Ileska to giggle.
"Now tell us what the deal is with the orb and maybe we'll let you have it when we're done."

"The conduit is very powerful," Reed says as he slows his walk towards you. "It's more dangerous than all our power combined."
"So what does that mean?" you ask.

Reed glances at Ileska and then back to you and Raf, frowning. "I don't know for certain if it would harm us if you meddle with it, but I'm not taking any chances. Don't touch it! Let me take it."

"Well, why shouldn't I take it?" you ask, noticing Raf twitch. "We might use it to help us."

"Because you are ignorant idiots and it would probably kill you!" Reed says. "And I didn't work this hard just to start over now."

"But..." you begin to argue, but Reed interrupts you. "Shut up! Shut up! I said shut up!"

Reed grabs his head, squeezes his eyes shut, and lets out a long slow hiss.
Reed opens his eyes and calmly says, "I tell you what, princeling, if you give me the conduit, I promise I won't hurt your friends."

You can only imagine that he was trying to sound threatening.
"Wait, hold on," you say. "Why should we even trust you?"

"Because I've been through more than you can imagine and come out alive! And because I'm smarter than you think." Reed smiles at you, calming again. "Besides, I am a Fair Folk and cannot speak a lie."
Ileska says "Don't listen to him Gary, he can't lie but he can't hurt me either and he knows it. He's just trying to get us all to play along with his game."

Reed gives her another scowl. She rolls her eyes and continues, "Alright then, let's see what we know:
"The orb is powerful, dangerous, and Reed wants it. That seems like reason enough not to let him near it. I feel like I am forgetting something..."

"Reed calls the orb a conduit." You point out.
"That's right, Princeling. It is a conduit for power. It took forever to find the right components to bring the emissary here and get her to weave the right sigil."

"Wait, emissary? Does that mean the spider?" you ask. "You brought killer spider here to make a spell for you?"

Reed looks around at the three of you. "I don't need to answer your questions. Just give me the conduit!"

Again ignoring his demand, you say "'Conduit of power'? From where to where?"

"From somewhere else! Somewhere else, yes. We do not know exactly where, but it must be far away from here."
"Where?" you ask.

Reed frowns and shakes his head. "One of the furthest, darkest, pla- um, places reachable by magic.
"You can't handle the power and then you'll just end up wasting it and killing yourself. Then she'll probably make us do all this all over again and most of us don't even want to play anymore!"

--->

>>4216630

You are becoming increasingly convinced that this fairy is losing his shit. "Will touching the orb kill me?"

"No harm will come directly from you touching the orb, but touching it might cause your death."
He smiles like a creep and takes a few more steps closer.

The orb is glowing brightly and shining a few feet away and you keep your hands close to you, resisting temptation. It's almost like an unconscious compulsion.

"What would happen if I touch it?" you ask.
Reed sighs and rubs his eyes. "It would be best if you didn't touch it unless you wanted to die horribly."

"Why are you so sure I would die?"
"Because I'm certain that you won't know what to say to... the power.

"If you don't want to die, you should come with me anyway. Why are we even playing this game? You could die or fall broken at any point out here. Now move out of the way or I'll show you what I mean."

You're doubtful that this shifty bastard is likely to tell you anything else helpful.

>Choose one and roll 3d100
>Attack!: Smack down Reed with your maul.
>Let Reed take the orb, whynot?.
>Poke the orb.
>Move Raf and yourself away from the orb but don't let Reed near it.
>Threaten Reed with your iron knife that killed Cinnamon
>Magic [Write-In]
>Write-In

Rolled 91, 5, 91 = 187 (3d100)

>>4216633
>Poke the orb.
I'm a man of science and I like power

Rolled 8, 7, 62 = 77 (3d100)

>>4216633
>Poke the orb.

bitch

also was he about to say planets before he swapped to places?

>Go ahead and ask him that above question if he isn't murderous over us poking the orb.

Rolled 53, 24, 20 = 97 (3d100)

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>>4217189
>>4217370
>He has over 300 acting credits, you know him, and have probably never heard his name.

You stare Reed in the eyes and declare "I'm a man of science and I like power, bitch."
His eyes bulge comically and you turn to poke the orb with your left index finger.

The moment you touch the orb, the blue energy crackling along its surface flows down your index finger and coats and coats your entire body as the orb disappears. The sensation Is like Icy Hot covering every possible inch of your body, even your eyelids.

You blink trying to shake away the sensation and when you open your eyes you are standing in an endless field of black. You can see yourself as if you were perfectly lit but there's no sign of a light source or anything else anywhere in the darkness.

You hear slow, heavy pounding footsteps as a massive figure steps out of the inky blackness. The figure is nothing short of massive.

He is at least 7 feet tall, extremely fit and muscular, but widely proportioned. His upper chest and shoulders are almost as wide as you are tall and you're pretty sure you could fit two of you inside his rib cage.

His ridiculously muscular body is completely naked although you can see no genitalia and he is smooth 'round the bend like a Ken doll. He is holding a savage-looking sword that is nearly as long as he is tall and it looks so heavy that you doubt you could lift it without help.

He has long flowing black hair twisted in braided dreads down his back in a fearsome mane. Glistening amongst his braids are sharp horns bent backward along his skull like grey daggers.

His skin looks as if he were coated with oatmeal that was allowed to dry, spray-painted a reddish-orange, and then burned away in several places with a blowtorch. His eyes are glowing a strange amber color but his pupils are large, dark black pools that sink deep into his skull, seemingly forever.

His fingertips end in sharp claws and he raises one of them now to point at you. You idly wonder how long you've been checking him out.

--->

>>4220813

"You are not the one who sacrificed the beastly warrior souls, nor are you his agent..."
His voice is deep and seems to come from everywhere at once, like an omnipresent Keith David, and you feel every syllable like a punch to the chest.

You had at first thought that Reed was about to say "planets" before he swapped to "places", but now you're thinking he was saying "planes". You and Ileska may have tangled with a wounded Arch Demon and came out on top, but this dude looks like he might train Balrogs for fun.

His eyes seem to look off in the distance and he stands, moving but not, in a way that seems oddly familiar until you place it as an MMORPG character whose player has gone afk.
You are considering asking him what is going on when he suddenly speaks in a jolt of movement.

"HA!" He bursts with another ache in your chest like he just broke your sternum.
"You activated the final portion of the ritual and claimed the conduit!"

"Ha ha ha!" Each laugh vibrates your chest painfully.
"That fool sacrificed so much and failed to protect his summoned power, that is delicious!"

"Well my amusing little spell-stealer, you wield the conduit and have access to all the power that is mine" He says, effortlessly lifting his blade and resting it on his shoulder casually.

"What is your Command?"
The way he intoned the word "command" to you suggests that it might be your "one and only" command.

>Choose your next words carefully...

Rule 2 is temporarily reinstated for this update as it has some implications and I'd rather not have randos mucking about.

>>4220818
I command you to obey all of my commands.

That one might be too cheeky

>I command you to be my guardian.

This way he'll join us on our journey and we'll learn about the wonders of fun and friendship together.

Also he can't cuck us because he has no dick.

>>4220818
>Help me in my journey

>>4220831
>That one might be too cheeky
Well, the commands would be followed as commanded, but depending on your use, not necessarily as intended.

>I command you to be my guardian.
This is solid but still grants a considerable amount of leeway. Think T2 here.

>>4220835
>Help me in my journey
The issue here is that journeys have destinations and ends and if you don't define it, he can interpret it any way he wants.

Actually, either vote could use a duration limit.

I am NOT trying to fuck you guys over here. And he kinda finds you amusing so far, but he is a "demon" and will do whatever he can to do whatever he wants to do whenever he can.
He is not constrained by any conceits of "joining the team".

Just sayin', in case you wanted to tweak your votes...

>>4221034
ok man. well, i'm thinking of "help me in my journey to deal with the mad witch (the sister of the immortal we've found)"

>>4221048
Much better, sufficiently specific.

>>4220831
>>4220835
Closing vote

>>4222588
your dropped your trip, king

>>4220831
>>4220835
>>4221048
>Unknown terms

Carefully weighing your words, you say "My command is for you to help me and act as my guardian in my journey to deal with the leader of the Dark Forest fairies." The demon stares at you with those glowing amber eyes with endlessly deep black pits in the center.

In the space of a blink, the field of black around you is gone and you are back in the forest. The demon remains, now standing huge next to the spider corpse.

You notice that your left index finger is still extended in a poking gesture and Reed's eyes are still bulging, not yet seeing the demon. It seems like not even a moment has passed.

Ileska freezes upon seeing the orb disappear at your touch and a huge demon appears soundlessly out thin air. Reed just gasps repeatedly, before finally able to scream in anger.

"Damn you!" he shouts. "I told you not to touch the blasted conduit! What were you thinking?"
You just smirk at him.

Reed runs forward and stops a pace away from you glaring up at you. "What did you say to him?"

Turning to the demon he demands, "Why are you here? What did he say to you?"
"I gave him his command." You say smugly.

You stare down Reed, who has returned to glaring at you.
"He said you're a foolish little bitch caster who doesn't even know enough to protect his rituals."

Reed's eyes widen in shock. "Really? That's what you have to say?" He turns back to the demon nearly twice his size, who just grins and shrugs silently.

"Yes," you reply.
Reed begins to shout wildly, losing himself in his anger.

His voice echoes off the trees as he yells, "YOU... YOU INSECT! I DID NOT SACRIFICE MY POSITION AND THE QUEEN'S ORC ARMY JUST TO LOSE NOW! I'M GOING TO WEAR YOUR SKIN FOR THIS, PRINCELING!"
The irate sylph draws a long silver dagger and lunges at you.

The demon suddenly bursts forward swinging his fist at Reed. The blow connects before Reed reaches you and there is a loud crunch as Reed's skull buckles around the demon's fist and he drops to the ground.

The demon chuckles. "I think I'm going to like traveling with you, spell thief." You are relieved to discover that his voice here is just loud and deep without resonating painfully in your chest.

--->

>>4224770

Raf is backing away from this madness with his sword drawn.
Reed struggles to his feet as the bones of his skull knit back together.

"Dish ish all your 'ault, you 'ratty 'itch!" He tries to yell at Ileska.
"What?" Ileska laughs, shaking her head. "How is any of this *my* fault?"

"You hag dat 'recognitin sell..." Reed tries again. "Spell! Premonition spell!"
"What about it?" Ileska shrugs.

"You used it to tell the princeling what to do to thwart me!" Reed yells as most of his face has healed.
"Who actually says 'thwart'?" You wonder out loud to nobody in particular.

The demon grins, impassively watching this all unfold.
Raf has backed up to the tree line and seems to be trying to decide which is the biggest bigger threat the huge demon or the insane sylph.

"No," Ileska answers Reed, shaking her head. "I haven't foreseen any of this. Igniting the web, stealing your summon, and 'thwarting' you was all just... Gary."


"WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!" Reed screams, completely losing it and stamping his feet repeatedly like an upset toddler.
"I just mean that he has this odd way of doing the most impossible things..." Ileska explains, smiling at you.

Reed takes a deep breath and lets it out in a long sigh as he pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes, trying to calm down. "No. That word. What is that word supposed to mean?"

"What word?" Ileska asks, honestly confused.
"'Gary'," he replies. "What is 'Gary' supposed to mean?"

You and Ileska both blink and share a stunned look at each other.
"It's my name. My name is Gary. Wait- You mean that you all are hunting me down and don't even know my name?"

Reed scoffs. "That's not your name, your name is Ta..." He stops and looks at you and Ileska, suddenly very unsure of himself.

"You're telling me that your name is 'Gary Baccus'?" Reed asks cautiously.
"It's Gary Bacon, actually." You reply.

"You're named after breakfast meat?" Ileska asks.
"Family name is, I guess." You shrug.

The demon inhales through his nose deeply, sniffing the air.
"Seems right to me." He grins.

"Okay, stop! I... I think I should go... Yes, I'm leaving."
He starts rapidly fumbling through the pockets of his robe for something.

>Choose one
>Let the foolish sylph go.
>Grab him before he can escape.
>Have the demon stop him.
>Magic [Write-In]
>Write-In

>>4224773
>Grab him before he can escape.

hold up what did you think my name was

>>4224773
>Grab him before he can escape.
“Wait a moment, what was that word starting with “ta” that you were gonna say ?”

>>4224811
>>4224833
>Grab a dense read

"Hold up," You say, reaching out and grabbing his robes low and pulling them tight, effectively pinning his arms at his sides while you hold him in place.
"Wait a moment, what was that word starting with “ta” that you were gonna say? What did you think my name was?"

Reed looks around uncomfortably, his eyes darting as if he, just now, was considering the possibility that he might not be in control of the situation.
"We're not supposed to... Ugh, you know what? Forget it."

He sags in your restraining grip.
"I'm never going back to the Dark Forest again anyway. I'm done with the queen, the war, with you, everything! I'm done with it!"

"This all started with that stupid little kingdom declaring war on us. We had never fought a war before.

"It was the best game in centuries and with the queen directing us and keeping us focused, we obliterated the kingdom, not only from the land but from all memory! Only once we had won, we couldn't play anymore and we did so want to keep playing."

Reed squirms under your grip as if just thinking about it was getting him excited.
"That's when we made the delicious discovery that the general, our greatest enemy, our most challenging opponent, our most fun playmate, was still alive in Rockcastle.

"It seemed that the one thing most precious to him in all the world was his sweet cousin, Alyson. So, he wisely sought to secure her safely away in Rockcastle, which is where he was when we obliterated his kingdom.

"So of course, our plan was to capture both him and Alyson and use her in his torture. But Bag and Bauble botched the kidnapping and chased her over the castle wall into the moat."

--->

>>4227057


Reed sighs wistfully and shifts in his tightly bound robes.
"It was such a waste. But still, we captured the general and for three weeks his endless torture became the best game ever.

"Unfortunately, one fairy was overzealous and killed him and his spirit chose oblivion, making resurrection impossible. We were all dismayed that we had lost the ability to hurt him, our greatest treasure.

"But the Queen had thought of a way to get it back. She understood how to use the matrix of the Abyss and used it to search other worlds for one that had versions of both him and Alyson and bring them here.

"So, you are supposed to be him and you do look exactly like him, but you obviously have spent more time practicing eating than practicing combat, and from the way you abandoned the girl, it's clear that she means nothing to you. Also, his name was Prince Taborius Harrison Baccus."

"Damn, that is close to my name." You say.
"I don't understand," Ileska interjects. "In what way is that close to 'Gary'?"

"Well, " You say, turning to her. "Gary is short for Garrison, my middle name that I've been going by since I made my mom switch me to another school. And my first name, well, let's just say that my dad was a trekkie and nobody in this world is ever gonna hear it."

"Wait," You say, turning back to Reed as he pulls back from you slightly.
"You're telling me that the reason you've all been hunting me, the whole reason I was brought here in the first place, was to be horribly tortured to death because of you hated this world's alternate version of me?"

"The idea was to torture you for all eternity and to not ever let you die, but otherwise yes."

What the fuck.

--->

>>4227063


"I wouldn't worry." Reed continues.
"At this point, the only ones who really still care about you are that so-called "Dark Lord of Undeath" we sent out and immediately disappeared and the Queen herself. We all have grown bored of the game."

"So, you don't think I should be worried?"
Oh! Ha, ha, ha!" He starts, shaking with laughter. "Of course *you* should be worried! The queen is insanely obsessive and would let everything fall to ruin rather than admit to a mistake!"

"But..."
"I said *I* wouldn't worry because *I* plan on leaving the continent immediately! I hope the queen slowly removes all your spines over the next hundred years. Goodbye forever!"

With that shout, there is a shower of glittering sparkles and he is gone, leaving you standing there holding loose strips of burlap in your outstretched hands. Only now does it occur to you that all the sagging, squirming, shifting, pulling, and shaking might have been him doing something sneaky under his robes.

"Damn replacement jutsu..." You mutter under your breath.
"Well, I guess that's that.

"The spider's dead and Reed is in the wind. I guess we should head back to the road." You announce.
"Excellent!" Roars the demon. "I am eager to experience more of your world. I have, thus far, enjoyed its aroma greatly."

"Excuse me, " Ileska says, approaching the demon. "Who and, if you'll pardon the question, what exactly are you?"
"I am Gary's guardian and aid on his journey."

Seeing the expectation in her eyes, the demon continues.
"If you mean my race, I am one of a form of planar being your race calls 'demons'. I have a name, but you are not permitted to know it."

"If you are to travel with us, we will need some name to call you. How shall we address you?"
He shrugs. "However you like. I care not."

"No!" Raf shouts.
"I consented to travel with a walking scarecrow and a creepy pale white little girl thing-"

"Their names are Sven and Ohm." Ileska interrupts tersely.
Ignoring her, Raf keeps going. "We cannot travel down the road with... with this... this demon! People will be terrified!"

"I hate to admit it, but he's right." You say.
"If my appearance is an issue, " The demon replies. "I should be able to shift my matter into some adapted form and then return to my glorious nature when needed."

"You're saying that you can shapeshift?" You ask.
"Just into one other form that I cannot change after it has been chosen."

He reaches forward and places his huge, clawed hand on your forehead. Just think of a less disruptive form for me to travel as and I will glean it from your surface thoughts.

>Please vote on both choices:
>Choose the demon's alternate form:
>Go with the first random thing that pops into your mind. [Randomly Generated]
>Let Ileska select the form.
>Write-In
>Write-In with Image!

>Choose the demon's name:
>Damian
>Ted Hemon
>Write-In

If you're just curious, I'll post to show whatever my rng generates no matter what vote wins.

>>4227067
>Choose the demon's alternate form:

BROWN
LOLI
O
L
I

>Choose the demon's name:
>Prudence

>>4227085
>The form of a brown loli with regal clothes
>Victoria

>>4227085
>>4227118
Oh lord.
What have I done?

...you realize that he's still going to have that same deep voice, right?

>>4227138
Realize? I was counting on it. That's the best part!

>>4227118
Seconded
I want a sure dissonance from this to freak people out

>>4227138
>...you realize that he's still going to have that same deep voice, right?
So it’s gonna be like buttwicht ? Now that’s just great

>Choose the demon's name:
Let's call him ShortDick

>>4227883
Support.

>>4227085
>>4227118
Tiebreaker!

1. Brown loli named Prudence
2. Fancy brown loli named Victoria
3. Brown loli named Victoria
4. Fancy brown loli named Prudence
5. Fancy brown mustard name Grey Poupon
Now to roll a 1d4....
Wait-

>>4227616
>Seconded
>I want a sure dissonance from this to freak people out

Vote closed.
>The demon's new status:
The form of a brown loli with regal clothes named Victoria

Time to do some research that will likely get me put on an FBI watchlist.

File: ThereWasShrinkage.png (238 KB, 597x1095)

238 KB PNG

Rolled 8 (1d100)

It took me forever to find the right inspiration for Victoria's new form.
And as I was about to start writing, I realized that while I had an idea of how him changing form might work, I could always roll for it. So let's do that.

>>4228954
is this from that superpower wiki ? also the first one is based, glad we rolled it

>>4228957
It's an addendum to Marvel Super Heroes.

>>4228957
As long as he doesn't become a black hole

>>4228977
Nah, he's just shrinking down into a dense little loli, he won't continue to shrink past that into a black hole.
...there's a dirty joke in there somewhere and I'm gonna leave it unfound.

File: Smug_zombie.jpg (16 KB, 480x329)

16 KB JPG

>>4228976
>It's an addendum to Marvel Super Heroes.
link pls
>>4228991
>Nah, he's just shrinking down into a dense little loli, he won't continue to shrink past that into a black hole.
>...there's a dirty joke in there somewhere and I'm gonna leave it unfound.
You sly dog

>>4228413
What do you mean by FBI watchlist?

>>4229211
He’s searching for a criminal boss brown loli

>be me
>joke about FBI cracking down on me
>proceed to lose internet in a series of contrived occurrences
Hmmmm...

File: Victoria02.jpg (116 KB, 581x680)

116 KB JPG

>>4227616
>>4227118
>>4227085
>"It's theStay Puft Marshmallow Man"

You close your eyes, clear your mind, and try to imagine the most innocuous, non-threatening average person from this world...
Naked Anime Girl!
...something nondescript and unassuming...
LEWD Naked Anime Girl!
...something that would go unnoticed...
Lewd Naked Hentai Woman!
...something... Not that. Perhaps something-

"It is done." The deep voice of the demon intones as its hand disappears from your head.
What the fuck?

You are confused and concerned because you hadn't actually thought of something yet.
Blinking, you look forward and the demon is nowhere to be seen.

"Uh, Gary?" Ileska asks with a strange tone to her voice. "What exactly were you thinking about?"
You look down to where her gaze is directed and see the demon's new form.

"I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my world, something that could never, ever possibly destroy anyone."

Looking down, you see a young, petite girl with brown skin and long smooth black hair that extends down to her thighs. She is wearing a thin silk dress, adorned with violet lace trim, and matching violet jewelry.

The dress is so slight and short that if it were not for the matching, unattached sleeves and almost regal quality to its appearance, it could be mistaken for a slip. Where the demon had been holding his mighty sword, the girl in front of you is holding up a light violet shawl examining it curiously.

Eventually figuring out the cloth's purpose, she drapes it over her shoulders and moves and flexes her arms approvingly. The only similarity the girl shows to the demon's previous form is her amber-colored eyes, although they neither glow nor have that same deep, darkness to them.
Then she speaks.

"Excellent!" The demon's voice booms. "The increased density and compact nature of this form are most suitable!"
The deep voice coming from such a delicate little girl is nothing short of disturbing.

"Well, there's something you don't see every day." Ileska comments, startled by the dissonant voice.
"But Gary... Why is she barefoot?"

"Um..." You say, somewhat flustered by the situation. "...I don't know?"
"What is to be the name I will be addressed as?" The demon asks nonchalantly.

Looking at the girl, you suggest the first name that pops into your head.
"How about 'Victoria'?"
Victoria nods as if utterly unconcerned by the name.

--->

>>4232540

"Well, she certainly looks non-threatening enough," Ileska says, giving you a knowing smirk. "But we'll have to get her some shoes and a cloak or something to cover up that expensive looking dress."

Victoria looks at her feet, at Ileska's boots, and looks up at her questioningly.
"My feet do not require protection, regardless of their appearance."

"It's the appearance that matters. You look like a barefoot princess, who would never just be walking down the road with us.

Victoria puts her tiny hand to her chin and scrunches up her face cutely as she thinks. "It seems the spell thief's mind failed to provide a perfect form after all. It is not surprising but cannot be helped."

"Can you do something about that voice?" Raf asks, impertinently. "It is far too deep for a child."
"Oh?" Victoria replies.

"I could try to modify my voice." She replies.


"H̸̢̙͚̻͑͆̈͒̀͝͠o̸̭̙̝̩̔̿̽̂͜w̷̧̼̻̝̩͎͈͗'̴̢̖̓̽͛͘ș̶̛̳͓͆̊̀͒͝ ̵̯͂͂̉̏̈͐̚t̴̤͈͔͈͋̎̎͂̈́̕͜͝h̶̨̨̧̤͕̩̼͂͜ȉ̷̧͍͖̝͖̂s̵̳̞̮̖̈́̄̑̏̄́̓?̷̧̟͇̩̤͚͖͌͆"


Ohjesusfuckno!
You don't exactly make out what everyone shouts, but everyone agrees that whatever that was should never be done again.

"I like the demon's new form and name," Ohm says as she walks into the clearing.
"I have been listening as I was climbing free of the brush I was thrown into. It was quite difficult."

"Miss Ileska, my torso garment has been damaged, do you think that you could repair it?"
There is a huge gash in the front of her patched shirt, revealing the white surface of her body.

"Certainly my dear, hold still." As Ileska worked her mending spell, you noticed the stark difference between Victoria and Ohm. Not only were their skin tones and clothing at opposite ends of the spectrum, but it was even more clear how slight Ohm was, smaller than even a young girl.

After Ileska was done, the corpse of the spider lurched and its mandibles started twitching.
Target? I would appreciate it if you removed my body from the bag when you return to the horses. None of the nearby ones are very nice.

Once everyone is assembled, you realize that Victoria is far too dense and heavy for any of the horses to bear.
And so, the ride north continued uneventfully aside from the stares and gasps of the people you pass at the sight of a raven-haired princess running along barefooted as she keeps up the pace behind three horses.

>>4232552

Once you reach a road branching off to the west, Raf explains that it is the road that leads to his garrison. In a truly awkward moment with a perfunctory manner, he invites you to join him and enjoy the hospitality of the garrison, hastily adding that he understood if you needed to continue on your way instead.

You can practically hear his silent plea for you to decline and free him of your mad company. But it seems that custom or honor compels him to invite you.

>Choose one:
>Let Raf off the hook and head to Arbor.
>Accept his offer just to torture him
>Accept to earnestly check out the garrison and properly inform them of everything that's been going on.
>Run Away!
>Write-In

>>4232558
>Let Raf off the hook and head to Arbor.

He's been cool no need to be mean

>>4232558
>Let Raf off the hook and head to Arbor.

>>4229003
>link pls
Here's the relevant link.
https://www.classicmarvelforever.com/cms/ultimate-powers-list.html

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>4232573
>>4232627
>Let Raf off the hook and head to Arbor
Closing vote and posting a small update hopefully soon and then a larger one definitely tonight.

Rolling for the number of obscure references to previous posts!

>>4235107
now that's hot

>>4235107
O boy

>These are not the loli we are looking for...

As you approach Arbor, the road slowly becomes more densely traveled, seems more well-constructed with bricks and stone rather than hard-packed dirt, and gently slopes uphill while still keeping well away from the steeper, rocky hills leading to the mountains looming in the northwest. You take to walking the horses with Ileska on hers and Ohm on Horsebro while You, Sven, and Victoria walking alongside them, with only Sven getting the occasional second glance.

Once you crest the top of the hill you see the first sign of Arbor, the city walls. Unlike Ohm's village, these walls are made of large dark grey stones and they resemble fantasy castle walls to you, extending roughly twenty feet high with a sort of thatch-roofed guardhouse on either side of the gate.

Your 4chan education assures you that this city must be quite large and old as even the walls look over a century worn. You admire the first real signs of civilization you've seen as you approach the gate.

The gate itself is a massive double door seemingly made of felled trees so that even a hay wagon twice as tall as Seth's could pass through. The doors open outward and seem to be propped up to form a hall where soldiers are stopping and questioning everyone entering the city.

Not the snoozing teenage guard from Ironshod, these are half a dozen men in armor like Raf's only with an emblem on their chests resembling a point with swooping sides like a wave symbol or a stylized "^". None wear helmets, allowing you to see the faces of seasoned men, each has a spear in their hand or nearby, even the couple more you spot resting in the shade behind the eastern door.

When you reach the entrance, the guard peppers you with rote questions while marking a parchment tacked to a square of food in his hand. He looks to you specifically to answer them.

>Choose how to answer the questions, either as a whole or individualized per question:
>Just the facts, man: The simplified truth.
>You can't handle the truth: The Total Whole Truth, unfiltered.
>Your best lies, whynot?
>Write-In [Answers]

>Questions:
Names?
Affiliations?
Purpose of visit to Arbor?
How long will you be staying in Arbor?
Where will you be staying in Arbor?
Aside from the two bows, maul, and any knives you may be carrying, do you have any weapons?
Do you understand that the Arbor Guard may ask you to relinquish your weapons if an incident occurs?

The last question is said in such a way that it's clearly just how they let you know you can carry weapons, but it's a privilege that can be withdrawn if abused, not a right. A "Yes" is assumed unless you are a troublemaker.

>>4235461
>Just the facts, man: The simplified truth.
>Names? Gary, Ileska, Sven, Omn and Victoria
>Affiliations? none
>Purpose of visit to Arbor? Buy weapons
>How long will you be staying in Arbor? 1 day
>Where will you be staying in Arbor? It's my first time here, but probably in a weapon seller shop
>Aside from the two bows, maul, and any knives you may be carrying, do you have any weapons? No
>Do you understand that the Arbor Guard may ask you to relinquish your weapons if an incident occurs? Yes

>>4235461
>Just the facts, man: The simplified truth.
>>4235488
Sounds good

Confession Time: I woke up this morning and discovered that not only did I fall asleep while writing the update, but I managed to save over the entire thing with just the letters "pkg", somehow.

I was disgusted with myself and frustrated so I procrastinated rewriting the update until now.
On the plus side, my bathtub is scrubbed clean.

I'm on it gents, but I think I'll break it up a bit...

>>4235488
>>4235564
>No ma'am, we're musicians.

"Names?”
"Gary, Ileska, Sven, Ohm, and Victoria."

"Affiliations?"
"None."

"Purpose of visit to Arbor?"
"Visiting the weaponsmith for a possible purchase."

"How long will you be staying in Arbor?"
"One day, we expect."

"Where will you be staying in Arbor?"
"It's my first time here, but probably wherever is closest to the weaponsmith shop."

"Aside from the two bows, maul, and any knives you may be carrying, do you have any weapons?"
"No."

"Do you understand that the Arbor Guard may ask you to relinquish your weapons if an incident occurs?"
"Yes."

With that he waves you on dismissively and you walk into the city. Immediately, it is a big change from Ironshod.

Most of the buildings are stone or brick, two stories tall, and so densely packed that it makes it difficult to get any sense of the layout of the town. But the biggest difference is the greater quantity and variety of people.

The gate opens into a large square full of traffic on foot, horse, and cart. There are many locals delivering food, hay, milk, and other things, but there are also a few oddities that make your group look positively normal.

One of the first things you notice is a group of four people wearing dark black robes standing at the edge of the bustling square. Unlike the others, these four don't appear to have any business and instead are just watching the crowd.

Actually, despite their lowered hoods that make it difficult to be certain, you feel like they are specifically watching you.
The one on the left, whose well-fed curves reveal her as a woman, never seems to turn her head from your group's direction.

Aside from one hooded figure seeming a touch tall and the other two smaller and thinner, by comparison, you can't make out any details about them.
You decide to ask Ileska if the four look suspicious to her.

She glances over, smiles to you, and says "They do look a bit suspicious and they're definitely looking over here. I think we should go talk to them to see what they want."

Victoria nods in agreement. "I agree, let's confront them directly and maybe they will attack us!"
She looks up at you beaming an adorably toothy grin of demonic bloodlust.

--->

>>4237198


"I am actually far more concerned about that group over there." Sven says, pointing out an odd grouping of five men.
Three of them are wearing leather workman's clothes, leather gloves, and wide-brimmed hats with sackcloth masks that cover their entire heads as they walk across the square carrying a large stack of long, heavy-looking iron bars effortlessly.

The three workmen have barely visible manacles on their wrists and ankles but are unchained. The fourth "man" is tiny, shorter even than Ohm, though not nearly as slight.

He is leading the workmen as is dressed in fine, expensive-looking garments that appear clean and neatly pressed with a matching sort of bowler hat. His face is cleanly shaven aside from thick, grey mutton chops and his skin and large bat-like ears are bright green.

He looks like he might be a goblin but in no way resembles what you would expect. He too wears manacles, but his are proudly displayed on the outside of his jacket cuffs, each with one link of a chain, and they appear to made entirely of polished silver.

The goblin's sharp, intelligent eyes flick to yours, catch your stare, and flick away, having assessed you in a moment and moved on. You consider him quite observant to notice your gaze in a crowded square, before remembering the pointing scarecrow at your side.

The fifth man stands a head taller than most men and seems to be wearing a common, dark-colored traveling cloak and what at first glance you mistook for a black motorcycle helmet.
Yeah, no, that's a black motorcycle helmet.

What the fuck.

On the third glance, you're still not sure what else it could be, but it looks like an oblong sphere of black, opaque glass covering his head. The man trails a pace behind the workmen.

The other people in the square seem to be giving them a wide berth, but it's unclear if that's because of the heavy load they're carrying or because of who's carrying it.
"Something's not quite right about those guys, but I don't know what. Sven wonders out loud.

"I'm not sure what that is about," Ileska says quietly. "But I'm not sure if it's any of our business either."

>Choose one:
>Confront the four black-robed people directly.
>Sneakily spy on the four black-robed people.
>Confront the strange men carrying iron, like an autist.
>Sneakily spy on the strange men carrying iron, like a creep.
>Run Away!: Ignore any and all possible sidequests, keep your head down, and find a damn weaponsmith already!
>Look for an inn first, so you'll know where you'll be sleeping tonight.
>Write-In

>>4237202
>Confront the four black-robed people directly.

>>4237202
Workers are weird for sure but let's deal with the spies first. They have business with us while the workers are just odd..

>>4237202
>>Confront the four black-robed people directly.

>>4237219
>>4237286
>>4237435
>Confront the four black-robed people directly
Closing the vote and drifting off to sleep writing. Shirley, this will end well.

>>4237435
>>4237286
>>4237219
>A little more conversation

You walk directly up to the four people in black robes to ask them what they are doing and if they want something from you. You approach them slowly and speak softly, trying to be charming.

"Hello... Is there something that you ...need from me? I am..."

"He is Gary!" Victoria chimes in with her deep voice, trying to helpfully finish your sentence. Three of them start and look down at her.

One of the two smaller robed people scoffs, the one who didn't react, scoffs.
"Whatever..." A feminine voice says coldly, without looking at any of you.

"And you are?" The large, curvy woman on the left asks pointing at Victoria.
"I am called Victoria. I am 'Victoria the Barefoot'!"

She blinks at Victoria, then you, and then back at Victoria. "I'm sorry, did you say 'barefoot'?"
"Yes!" The demon says in a deep voice, wiggling her tiny toes in the dirt."

"Yes! Bare feet!" You say loudly, hoping that it might catch the woman's attention, and perhaps you could redirect the conversation.
The woman turns her head to look at you but otherwise doesn't react.

She just continues staring at you and Victoria. You feel like you're being stalked...or maybe assessed.

"We, uh..." You say. "We noticed you staring at us, at me. Was there something you wanted from me?"
"Nothing." She says, tilting her head enough for you to see her smile.

"What do you want from us?" She asks, still smiling.
"Nothing, nothing," You answer calmly.

"But I curious, what does this little group of yours want? What are you doing waiting around watching people arrive?"

"What is your agenda?" You press.
"Our agenda is none of your business." She replies, her smile fading.

"Why are you even bothering talking with this guy, Germaine?" The scoffing one interjects.
"He can't be the guy. He's too fat to have ever killed anyone." She adds disdainfully.

--->

>>4239472


"He's not that fat and he matches the description. But, you are probably right. I think he might not be the killer." The black-robed woman named Germaine replies.

"Who cares what you think? We need to find the actual guy before we miss our chance." The scoffing one retorts.
"Well, if you don't mind my asking..." You begin. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Oh come on!" "Admit it was you!" The other two robed women shout at you.
"What? No it wasn't! I'm telling you, this is the first time I've ever been to Arbor and I have no idea who's been killed. It was someone else!"

"Someone else? Who was it?"
"How would I know? Why do you think it's me?"

"My husband was killed somewhat recently, " Germaine says. "And we were indormed that the guy who killed him looked, well, like you. And he's coming back looking for money we don't have and never did."

"We're trying to get ahead of him," The scoffing one adds adds an irritated tone.
"Wait, who, told you that?"
"A freeh initiate to our group. He said we should keep an eye out for this guy and then described you."

"And you just believed him?"
"Of course not, not normally," Germaine replies. "But all initiates are compelled to answer the coven truthfully."

"Well, either he got some bad info or he found a way around your hoodoo, because it is not me...
"Wait, you weren't married to a troll named Praksus were you?" You ask the curvy witch.
"...because I totally killed that guy."

"Oh, I do hope you don't want his bones back! I am really enjoying them."
"Wait, what- What?" The scoffing witch stammers, confused.

Germaine chuckles. "Oh, my husband was a real troll alright, but not like that. Honestly, I'm glad he's dead.

"The only problem is that his killer is coming back to collect payment we don't have and never promised him. He's supposed to look like you, but you're not him, are you, sweetie?"

This curvy witch is smiling and staring at you again like she appraising you for something, it is starting to creep you out a bit. Meanwhile, the scoffing one just seems like a bitch.

The other two might be more reasonable, maybe-
"We need to go get rid of this asshole right now." The tall witch states impatiently.
"But...but how?" The petite witch asks.
"By killing him, of course." She answers.

"No, no, it's not me," you say nervously. Victoria gets visibly excited that violence might be imminent, bouncing on her heels slightly.

--->

>>4239474

Okay, maybe they're not so reasonable.
It occurs to you that you are all technically discussing murder while standing along the main road and perhaps you should move the conversation.

"I'm telling you guys," The petite witch says. "Will couldn't be lying and his spirit spys have to be right. After all, he's a lord of undeath."

Wait, what was that?

>Choose one:
>Suggest talking somewhere else.
>Tell them about how the Dark Lord of Undeath is supposed to be after you.
>Dare them to try something in front of your pint-sized bodyguard.
>Attempt to whisper about what to do with Ileska.
>Run Away!: Clearly the sign of an innocent man.
>Write-In

>>4239476

>Tell them about how the Dark Lord of Undeath is supposed to be after you.

>Also say you aren't expecting payment from them so it can't be you even if it is real.

>>4239476
>Tell them about how the Dark Lord of Undeath is supposed to be after you.

Lurker here. I have never posted or voted, but I want to thank you for running this quest. Basically I'm afraid to get verbally abused for posting. The trolls are ruining this board. Yes, grow a thick skin, blah blah. I'm going to the hospital tomorrow, I won't read any of the replies.

>>4239485
>>4239620
>"Hey, I know that guy!"

"Wait. I know the one you're talking about. Or at least I've heard of him. He was sent out to capture me a bit ago. I guarantee you that's what is going on here."

Victoria smiles at you. "Yes. Let him come try to capture you. I look forward to spelling his blood at your feet."

The petite witch stares at the deep-voiced little girl.
"You're disturbing, you know that?"

"Listen, whatever, it's fine." You reply, redirecting the conversations again.
"I just wanted to let you know that your new initiate is working for the Dark Forest fairies and is definitely lying no matter what compulsion you think you have over him."

"Oh yes, the dark forest-fairies. So, they are sending someone to kill us." The scoffing witch remarks sarcastically.

"No, I doubt it." You reply seriously. "Just don't trust that guy. Do you know where to find him?"

"Actually, no..." the tall witch says seeming to finally begin to doubt the credibility of The Dark Lord.
You might be getting somewhere.

"We can help you take care of this." You suggest. "But we need to confront him."
"Yes!" Adds Victoria eagerly.

"Fine, but if you are so certain that he's the problem and want to get rid of him, we need to go back home and tell our people there about the situation. Germaine says.

>Choose one:
>Suggest your group following them back to their coven.
>Set up a spot to meet later so you can get on with your business for right now.
>Let them handle the Dark Lord on their own and deal with him if and when he shows his hand.
>Write-In

>>4241190
I appreciate your comment and your reading, anon.
Trolls are like Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen. They're assholes whose words we shouldn't care about and about as dangerous as a fictional outlaw from a decades-old comedy film.
Stay safe lurker anon.

>>4241345
Will you address the response to this “lurker” or did you delete it from your memory as well?

>>4241333
>Set up a spot to meet later so you can get on with your business for right now.

Namely, what is the deal with those workers?

>>4241333
>Set up a spot to meet later so you can get on with your business for right now.

>I'll be watching you.

You agreed to meet up with the witches later while they go speak to their coven and you handle some other business. Ileska recommends meeting in a few hours at the main room the Sunrise Inn and they readily agree, clearly already knowing the place.

Seeing your curious glance, Ileska offers a guilty shrug. "I was hoping to stay there tonight.i have heard that the view of the city at sunrise is amazing from their third story."

After the witches walk off, Ileska asks you what business you wanted to take care of.
"I'd like to investigate what was going on with those workers carrying those iron bars." You say.

"I would too." Sven says. "They didn't quite feel right, especially the tall one."
"Well, I still don't think it's any of our business. The city is a big place and it's going to be filled with all types." Ileska comments.

"But you've been right about a lot of odd things before so let's see what we can find out. Did anyone see which way they went?"
Sven points in a direction and starts walking you and Ileska quickly follow leading your horses as Ohm rides along in silence while Victoria eagerly chases after you.

After a few minutes, you spot them further down the road in the distance and start to casually follow them, observing.
Ohm looks down at Sven and asks. "May I ask what it is that you felt when you said that they felt wrong? I do not feel anything when I look at them."

Her voice was calm and inquisitive.
"It is an odd thing to describe. Perhaps it is because I am a spirit and I am practiced and attuned to attaching myself to bodies but..."

You never before imagined a skeleton dressed as a scarecrow could look thoughtful, but Sven turning his head looks positively contemplative.
"Aside from the short green one, they are not properly attached to their bodies.

"The spirits of the three workers are 'latched on' more securely than I am to this body. They are clearly permanently bound, but far less so then any sort of natural being should be.

"And the tall one is... I don't know, ...damaged? It is like their spirit is been partially dismantled and so is their connection to their body. I find it disturbing."

Ohm turns from Sven and stares at the ones you are following and a small frown appears on the opening that is her mouth. "Souls are odd and problematic. I don't like that I can not sense them in any way."

She turns back to Sven. "Do I have a soul, Sven? I can not feel one if I do."
"No, you are a soulless construct." He says casually, almost offhandedly.
Ileska gasps at him.

"That can't be true!" Ileska denies as Ohm simply nods at Sven for answering her inquiry. "Ohm is a perfectly lovely person!"
"Perhaps, but she lacks a true soul. She has a composition of energies within her that are unique, but no soul."

--->

>>4242957

All discussion is halted as the workers carry the iron bars into a large, seemingly all but abandoned metalsmithing shop. There are dirty windows you could probably spy through.

>Walk in and directly ask them what their deal is.
>Walk in pretending to be looking for a metalsmith (technically, you are)
>Spy on them through the windows and try to listen.
>Spy on them relying on Ohm's, Sven's, and Victoria's senses.
>Magic: [Write-In]
>Write-In

>>4242960
>Walk in pretending to be looking for a metalsmith (technically, you are)

>>4242960

>Walk in pretending to be looking for a metalsmith (technically, you are)