>>4933229
>Search your bed

>>4933229
>Search your bed
Gat-dang, we should've kept our mouths shut.

>>4933229
>>Search your bed

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>>4933231
>>4933236
>>4933237
You lift the mattress to find some bedbugs and an ace of spades card. You put the ace of spades on your belt. You leave the bedbugs where they are.

>>4933244
>Look through the cell door

>>4933244
>>Look through the cell door

>>4933229
>>Look through the window

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>>4933249
>>4933254
You look out through the door.

There's the sheriff's assistant - he's supposed to be keeping an eye on you, but it seems he's preoccupied with catching some Z's.

From the cell next to yours flows some melodious harmonica music. That must be the town drunk, who always gets thrown in here for one reason or another.

You see some stuff on the table in front of you, the most important of which is your trusty revolver.

>>4933261
Look out the window

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>>4933258
>>4933266
You look out of the window of your cell. It's a bright, sunny day, and townsfolk pass by with not a care in the world.

Sitting on the curb is what appears to be a rancher weeping and nursing a bottle of booze.

>>4933276
Talk to the weeping drunkard, manipulate him into doing our bidding

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>>4933280
You try to get the man's attention, but he's too busy blubbering incoherently about his ranch getting foreclosed or something. If you want him to do anything for you, you'll have to make him calm down somehow.

>>4933286
Ask the guy in the other cell for his harmonica

>>4933286
Pretend to be a woman and coax him in

>>4933311
Getting the music sounds like a good idea

>>4933286
Ask about his ranch problems. Engage in actuve listening.

>>4933286
Tell him I have what he needs!

>>4933286
>Pretend to be a woman and coax him in

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>>4933311
Your cellmate refuses to part with his beloved harmonica, but he'll do anything for you if you get him a drink.

>>4933471
>>4933525
You attempt to seduce the rancher. You neither look nor sound even remotely female, so your efforts have no effect.

>>4933502
You tell him that you have what he needs. He looks at you expectantly. A few seconds of awkward silence ensues.

>>4933486
You ask the downtrodden man about his problems, and he spills out his troubles like a burst dam. A few days ago, he went out to his cows one morning to find every last one of them dead - eaten alive by some vicious animal. Without those cows, he says, he has nothing, and he was forced to sell off his ranch at a pittance.

The rancher looks a little calmer, but you feel like you need to raise his mood in some way before you start asking him for favors.

>>4933647

Sing him an ol' country tune to cheer him up!

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>>4933671
Your dulcet tones strike the heartstrings of your melancholic companion. The man expresses his gratitude to you for raising his spirits, and he asks if he could help you with anything.

>>4933729

Some alcohol would make us a happy country boi

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>>4933735
The rancher hands you his bottle of whiskey and wanders away, probably to pack up his belongings and head west for greener pastures.

You put the whiskey in your belt.

>>4933744
Take a sip and then offer it for the harmonica

>>4933788

+1

>>4933788
yes

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>>4933788
You wet your whistle with a bit of firewater. The drink loosens your lips and enhances your focus, improving your Tootin' and Shootin' slightly.

You hand the bottle to your fellow jailbird and exchange it for his harmonica, which you stash in your belt. Overjoyed by the prospect of drink, the man pledges his undying gratitude and loyalty to you. He indulges in a hearty swig.

There is, of course, still the matter of getting out of this blasted cell.

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You consider your surroundings.

The bowler hat and the key on the table are just out of arm's reach.

The drunkard next door will probably do anything you tell him to, but he's just as imprisoned as you are.

In your belt, you have an ace of spades and a harmonica.

>>4933871
Tuck the ace of spades up your sleeve and wake up the deputy by clanging the harmonica on the cell bars

>>4933871
Make our pants into a crude lasso, then catch the key and slide it over to us!

>>4933871
Play the song that never ends to annoy the jailer

>>4934001
actually yeah do this instead of clanging the bars, still tuck the ace up your sleeve (if you're mid drawing clanging on the bars that's fine of course)

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>>4933945
>>4934001
You stash the ace of spades in your sleeve.

You make an awful racket by clattering the harmonica against the cell bars. The deputy yells at you to quit that racket or he'll put a bullet through your brain, but he doesn't get up or open his eyes.

>>4934001
You play the song that never ends on your harmonica, but he just falls asleep again. You need some backup vocals or more experience in Tootin' to really make it a sonic hazard.

>>4933952
You fashion your pants into a sturdy lasso and pull the key into your hands. You quietly unlock the cell door.

You can now roam around the room freely. The deputy is still sound asleep.

>>4933871

Unlock the drunkard and grab the revolver. Put our pants back on.

>>4934034
Grab the gun and the hat

>>4934034
Force the deputy into the cell at gunpoint then lock it once we've got the drunk and our gun back

>>4934055

deputy has a gun

>>4934102
exactry

we could try to knock him out with the butt of the gun

>>4934102
we could try to steal it before he wakes up, or we could just take it from him at gunpoint, i doubt he would be fast enough

>>4934055
>>4934102
>>4934108
>>4934113
Grab the gun, free the drunkard, and tell him to make a lot of noise in front of the deputy, then buffalo whip the deputy from behind and take his other gun

>>4934191

Excellent! Support!

>>4934191
by buffalo whip I mean pistol whip/buffaloing, regional thing

>>4934034
Kiss the jailer square on the mouth. Our hearts can't wait any longer

>>4934213
That would wake him up you idiot

>>4934034
Promise yourself that after you get out of the cell you're going to the town brothel and you're going to find the thiccest milf there.
This'll hopefully motivate you to get out.

>>4934295
>town brothel
You will find no milf there fool

>>4934039
supporting

this quest reminds me of mspfa in the bes way op. Keep it up

>>4934295
Supporting this...

>>4934191
>>4934055
And these. Grab gun, free drunk, create distraction, pistol-whip guard, throw him in cell.

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>>4934042
You creep out of your cell and quietly take some stuff from the table. You put your trusty revolver in your hand and stick the bowler hat on your belt.

After an unfortunate superglue accident, your revolver can only hold three rounds in its clip before you have to reload. Still, it’s your closest friend and trusty sidekick.

>>4934039
You unravel the denim lasso and reequip your pants.

You try your key in the drunkard’s door, but it doesn’t fit. Looks like his key is on the deputy’s belt. You aren’t sure you trust your Rootin’ enough to try and pickpocket it.

>>4934295
You motivate yourself with thoughts of big-tittied MILFs.

>>4934213
Overwhelmed by lust, you give the deputy a big smacker right on the lips! He doesn’t wake up. Wow, this guy is out cold.

>>4934055
You shove your gun into the deputy’s face, but for some reason he doesn’t care.

>>4934191
The town drunk makes a bunch of noise, waking up the deputy. You take the opportunity to give your jailer a nice thwack from your revolver. It hits him so hard that the band of his hat comes off!
-1 Head HP

The deputy stands up in anger and readies his gun. Looks like you’re in for some good old-fashioned gunslingin’.

1/2

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2/2

A Beginner’s Guide to Gunslingin’:

>You can use 2 actions per turn (one for each arm)
>Shooting a body part will damage it
>Bringing the HP of a body part to 0 will destroy it for the rest of the fight
>Having 3 destroyed body parts causes you to faint from blood loss and possibly bleed out, though most people will surrender by then
>Shooting an arm holding an item will knock the item away instead of damaging it
>Items can be moved around freely within the inventory
>Retrieving an item outside of the inventory costs an action

Your trusty revolver can fire one shot per turn, with three shots before you have to spend an action reloading it. Fortunately, no gunslinger worth his salt goes without his bag of infinite revolver ammo (not pictured).

It’s your turn. What will you shoot?
>Head
>Chest
>R Arm
>L Arm
>R Leg
>L Leg
>Belt

>>4934493
>L Arm, twice

>>4934493
>>L Arm

>>4934493
>L Arm
BANG BANG

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>>4934497
>>4934498
>>4934517
You fire at the deputy's left arm, knocking the gun out of his hand! You aren't experienced enough at Shootin' to shoot twice in the same turn, so your other action goes wasted.

The deputy slashes at your chest with his key. The force of his strike is so great that your poncho is knocked clean off! With his other arm, the deputy snatches his gun back in mid-air.

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It's your turn again. How are you going to spend it?

>>4934526
>L Arm
AGAIN

>>4934527
>>4934526

+1

>>4934527
>>4934526
+1

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>>4934527
You fire at his left arm again, knocking the gun out of his hand again. You do nothing with your other hand. Again.

The deputy uses an action to retrieve his gun. This time, he uses the key to swipe at your head, and it knocks off your hat!

Your head is vulnerable! If you don't use your actions wisely, you could find yourself with a hole through your face!

>>4934530
Nah, he'll be fine.

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You only have one bullet in the chamber left before you have to reload, so make it count. You can always throw random junk in your inventory for minor damage.

>>4934587
flip up the table in the room to get some cover and shoot his right hand

>>4934591
Shoot him in the chest, then STAB him in the chest with the key!

>>4934591
>Shoot L arm AGAIN
>Toss key to intercept and knock away ENEMY REVOLVER
He won't expect us to do the same stupid thing three times in a row!
And he definitely won't expect us to learn by the third attempt to do something different this time!

Rolled 1 (1d3)

>>4934595
>>4934598
>>4934599
Rolling for decision.

>>4934614
We’re fucked

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>>4934595
Thinking quickly, you knock over the table and dodge under its cover while simultaneously firing your last bullet into the deputy's key, blowing it out of his hands.

Your opponent, also thinking quickly, grabs his lasso from his belt without using an action. He uses one hand to shoot the table with his revolver and uses the other hand to deliver a nasty whipcrack to the table with the lasso. The table doesn't look like it can sustain any more damage...

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Even from behind the table, you're still in range for a melee strike.

>>4934648
Throw the key and harmonica at his head in unison to whack his skull

>>4934651

+1

>>4934651
Aw yeeeah son

>>4934651
supporting

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>>4934651
Melee attacking the deputy with an item would eat up an action, so instead you throw your harmonica and key at his head, which doesn't use an action. The harmonica knocks your foe's hat to the floor, but the key bounces harmlessly off his exposed noggin. It seems only a gun can destroy a body part...

Panicking, you reload your empty gun, using one of your unused actions. Your other action goes wasted.

Your opponent acts immediately. He whips the table to pieces with his lasso, breaking your cover. Then, a single bullet from his gun blows your head clean off! You lose your head!

>>4934691
Wh-what?

>>4934691
>Eye for an eye, head for a head
Blow his own head off. Then pick up half the broken table as a make shift shield so he can't shoot our arm.

>>4934691
Ah SHIT son, we got GOT. This quest was peak soul for when it lasted, even if we didn't grasp the rules quick enough like a bunch of brainlets.

>>4934699
>Bringing the HP of a body part to 0 will destroy it for the rest of the fight
>Having 3 destroyed body parts causes you to faint from blood loss and possibly bleed out, though most people will surrender by then
"It doesn't matter how much health you have. It's just... Are you dead yet? Are you dead or are you alive? If you are alive, continue fighting. If you are dead, retry."

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>>4934689
>>4934691
Oh, so it's gonna be onna THOSE games
>>4934701
It ain't over til we got 3 parts mutilated, soldier
>>4934700
+1

>>4934700

+1

If we die, we come back as a zombie and eat this guy

>>4934700
Supporting.

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>>4934700
Your revolver snaps to the man's head and one bullet knocks his block off! The deputy loses his head! As your enemy stumbles backwards groping at where his face used to be, you take the opportunity to pick up a chunk of table.

The deputy reacts with expert speed. He shoots the bowler hat off your belt. He also starts spinning his lasso. If he's allowed to throw it at you, you'll be tied up for a whole turn!

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The deputy seems to be getting nervous. You think he might throw in the towel if another one of his body parts gets destroyed.

>>4934745
WHACK RIGHT ARM SHOOT RIGHT ARM

>>4934745
Shoot chest, close distance, whack chest with table-fragment.

>>4934747
Leaving you generic QM name on form whichever thread you're running is throwing me off, because it matches the Western QM's.

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>>4934752
Shit, sorry about that. I never namefag so anytime I do I forget to toggle it off. Forgive me, anon and QM anon.

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>>4934749
You think about shooting his chest, then hitting him with your chunk of table, but realize that the order of actions would mean that the table would bounce harmlessly off his body.

>>4934747
You knock the lasso aside with your table fragment, then deliver a quick, clean blast to the deputy's exposed limb. The deputy is disarmed!

Your foe immediately drops his revolver and raises his hand(s) in surrender. He looks like he might run out of here at any second. Will you spare him?

A lesser man could take the easy route and kill him. I vouch to SPARE him and hope he reforms from the corrupt sheriff's path.

>>4934771
>>4934774
LOCK HIM IN THE CELL, he can come out when the corrupt sheriff's been brought to justice, as he's only an accomplice

>>4934774
shot him in the balls

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>>4934807
You consider locking him in the cell, but then you hear a gruff voice from the sheriff's room. The sheriff yells through the door to keep that damn racket down, his show is on. It occurs to you that the deputy could free himself just by yelling for the sheriff's help once you leave.

>>4934809
You need a base Shootin' of 3 to shoot people in the balls!

>>4934779
You tell the deputy to get the hell outta here before you blow his stinkin' guts out. He obliges and skedaddles, unlocking the door to the outside with a small silver key hidden in his boot.

You notice that he dropped his wallet. Free money!
+$2.30
You now have $2.30.

Practice with your gun has taught you more about the art of shootin'.
Shootin': 2 + 0.5 = 2.5
Getting beat up has only strengthened your will to root around in other people's business.
Rootin': 1 + 0.2 = 1.3

You put all your clothes and body parts back on.

You take stock of the room, now littered with random garbage from your recent gunfight. As a seasoned gunslinger, you know that anything you leave behind here will probably be stolen by rats once you leave.

You could free the drunkard, but he seems to have sobered up a bit. If you let him go now, he'll probably just stumble back to the saloon. He isn't even wearing his hat - the world's a dangerous place without a hat.

You consider kicking down the door and fighting the sheriff, but you've seen the sheriff's fashion sense. You might want to get some more experience with gunslingin' before you pick a fight with that guy.

>>4934826
You double check your math and confirm that your Rootin' is indeed 1.3 after a gain of +0.3. You were never one for school learnins' anyway.

>>4934826
Free the drunkard and give him one of the hats on the ground, keeping the other for yourself.
Peep at the nude mag, then check the barrel.

>>4934826
>>4934833
+1 to this.

>>4934826
Doors open outwards use the barral to block the door to the sheriff. We got another 45mins before his show is over anyway

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>>4934833
You open the cell door and release the town drunk, who slurs out his thanks. He picks up his bowler hat and stumbles out of the room. You put the deputy's hat on your belt.

You take a quick look at the nudie mag. Wow! You didn't know the human body could contort that way!
Tootin': 1 + 0.2 = 1.2

You look in the barrel. It contains fish.

>>4934847
You know this door opens inwards, but you put the barrel in front just to mildly annoy the sheriff.

>>4934868
Grab the lasso and gun and head outside

Oh! Fish in a barrel? they are very very easy to shoot. We make a mental note of this for later

>>4934873
We wanna touch another mans gun... gross

>>4934868
Shoot the fish in the barrel before leaving

>>4934873
This. Stock up on items.

>>4934868
Gag the deputy with the lasso

>>4935130
He fled already.

>>4934868
Take a sip of water, you are a bit thirsty, and it's annoying getting water, search for that bag thing to put water in it, you don't remember the name exactly

What stats we have apart from the Shootin, rootin and tootin?, and a explanation of them all

>>4934987
+1
I gotta ask, are you the QM from hunger quest? This feels similar.

>>4935445
Not sure if you meant that for me but either way I'm not

>>4935984
Meant it for QM obviously.

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>>4934987
You unload a few shots into the unfortunate fish. It’s quite easy, but it’s still good practice at your skill level.
Shootin': 2.5 + 0.1 = 2.6

>>4935130
You gag and tie up an imaginary deputy.

>>4935285
You drink some of the protein-rich water. It’s quite hearty, in the sense that much of it was once stored in a heart.
Rootin’: 1.3 + 0.1 = 1.4

As an experienced gunslinger, you don’t need food or water – just pure, hard grit. No namby-pamby canteens for a real man of the west. You do need a nip of booze from time to time, though.

You consider your stats.
>Rootin’: Represents will, determination, and perseverance, just like a pig rootin’ for truffles. Can be trained by having parts blown off in combat. Unlocks skills that allow you to grab stuff from your foes and repair damage mid-fight.
>Tootin’: Represents charisma and sharpness of wit, in the manner of tootin’ your own horn. Can be trained by talking down enemies or by doing impressive things, such as taking no damage or finishing fights in one turn. Enhances bluffing and allows you to use musical instruments.
>Shootin’: You know what this is. Can be trained by shootin’. Unlocks more options for gunplay.

>>4934873
You take the deputy’s lasso and gun. You notice that it only has two chambers. You wonder how he fired three shots during your fight, and decide not to worry too much about it.

You exit the building.

(1/2)

>>4935445
I did make a quest called Food Quest.

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(2/2)

You step into the hot morning sun. Despite the early heat, a number of townsfolk are wandering up and down the street and going about their daily duties.

You might be a simple wanderer in a town of strangers, but you do have a few goals in mind:

You want to bring the corrupt sheriff to justice. You’ve seen him leaning on townspeople and travelers alike, living it up on their hard-earned money. Anybody who puts up a fight gets run out of town. You’re going to put a stop to that.
You need your horse. If things go wrong, you want an escape plan, and you don’t intend to hightail it into the desert on your own two feet.
You’ve heard a few rumors of strange things happening in this area. There are precious few opportunities for entertainment out in the frontier, so you might as well check them out.

You take a good look at your surroundings. Where do you want to go?
>Stock up at the general store
>Get a drink and a fight at the saloon
>Get a room at the hotel to store your stuff
>Something else?

>>4936023
Go talk to the preacher at the church
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXAQNGUcTjs
>Captcha:ISWAP

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>>4936027
The church is only open on Sunday. There are no calendars in the west, though, so you have no idea when it'll be open.

>>4936023
>Get a room at the hotel to store your stuff
Need a home base.

>>4936023
Talk to the "END IS NIGH" guy. That sounds pretty serious!

Have you played West of Loathing, OP?

>>4936023
>Get a room at the hotel to store your stuff

>>4936033
Unfortunate. In that case, go for the hotel

>>4936023
>Get a drink and a fight at the saloon
Based food quest QM returns! That quest was flawless!

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>>4936042
You walk over to the guy in a sandwich board and ask him what the big deal is. He takes one look at you and instantly flies into a rage! He rants and raves about gunslingers destroying the west with their depraved ways, and he calls you a variety of rude names ranging from “abomination” to “zombie”. You calmly back away.

(I’ve played West of Loathing, and it’s a substantial inspiration for this quest and its gameplay. I also played a lot of Kingdom of Loathing in my formative years, so you might see the same sort of humor pop up in my writing.)

(1/2)

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(2/2)

>>4936039
>>4936055
>>4936070
You enter the hotel. The woman at the reception counter tells you that it’ll cost $3.00 to rent a room. You’ve only got $2.30 right now.

The receptionist sees your empty wallet and offers you a tip: the cook is out of meat and would gladly reimburse you if you got him some chicken from the chicken ranch nearby. She gives you the directions; it’s close enough that you could get there on foot.

>>4936148
>I also played a lot of Kingdom of Loathing in my formative years
Fucking based. I used to play it in middle school and early high school.

>>4936150
Sounds like we got a plot hook! Onwards to the chicken ranch!

>>4936159
Seconding this. If this quest is loathing-based we need to stock up on meat!

>>4936159
On the way, see what that fight going on in the middle of town was

>>4936150
Roll that barrel of shot up fish in the jail to the cook. If the cook complains about needing chicken meat instead of fish meat just tell him its chicken of the sea.

>>4936388
im not sure we should go near the sheiff, he show is done by now and I dont think its syndication

>>4936388
Supporting.

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>>4936220
There's been an accident on the road. A T-bone, looks like. The two men are fighting over who gets to bribe the sheriff first. The sight reminds you that your own horse is probably in an impound lot somewhere.

(1/2)

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>>4936388
Instead of going to the chicken ranch, you decide to give the chef the sheriff's barrel of fish. You walk into the jail (the sheriff is on season 3, episode 8 of his binge) and roll the barrel back to the hotel.

The chef is completely confused when you ask him to buy a barrel full of shot-up fish. He doesn't need any meat, and the chicken ranch has been abandoned ever since bandits burned it down years ago; only crazed gunmen inhabit the place now. The receptionist probably just wanted to get rid of you.

(2/2)

>>4936455
Challenge the receptionist for a duel for trying to send you somewhere that dangerous

>>4936455
she must be a bandit spy.
>>4936448
tell the t-bone guys we are the deputy and show the offical lasso of office to prove it. Tell them that the sheriff will want even more if they ruin his show. Hes on season 3, episode 8 of his binge, and will be very mad if you ruin the "The Puppet Master" epsoide as its one of the best. So just to "pay" us instead.

>>4936455
Use our awesome Tootin' skills to still sell the barrel. Say you basically just need to heat it and its fish soup, which is a classic with gunmen and ladies alike!

>>4936455
Tell to the receptionist woman that she is an ass for lying to us, but we will probably go just to get some experience, loot and to mock her for being an ass (after we are a bit better, we almost got defeated in our first fight)
>>4936487
Supporting only the t-bone part
>>4936509
+1

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>>4936480
Beating up an asshole in a T-shirt is one thing, but women are notoriously well-dressed. Are you sure you want to pick a fight here?

>>4936487
You attempt to hornswoggle the men into bribing you instead.

Roll 1d20 +1 (Tootin') +1 (alcohol bonus) +3 (you have the deputy's lasso) +3 (accurate info). At least 12 to pass.

>>4936509
You espouse the virtues of a robust fish soup.

Roll 1d20 +1 (Tootin') +1 (alcohol bonus) +4 (chef likes fish soup) -6 (today is Taco Tuesday). At least 12 to pass.

>>4936512
The receptionist backs down, saying that the sheriff pays her to send new folks in town to the abandoned chicken ranch. Normal people won't bother, but gunslingers will champ at the bit for a sidequest - that's how the sheriff filters out anybody who might pose a problem to his reign.

>>4936653
Simple rule if the qm asks if you really want to do something, back down while you can, unless you a: genuinely can't see any other option, 2 you're sure you can do somehow do it
III, it's worth the risk or finally it wil be awesome/funny whether or not you succeed. This not one of those times so I'm, a vote no on challenging the receptionist after all

Rolled 18 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>4936653
is this best of three or just one roll

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>4936653
Ah yeah come on bribes!

Ignore >>4936684 pls I thought it got yoinked by the site

>>4936653
Wait a sec, if today is Taco Tuesday, we know when the church will be open.

>>4936695
Oh SHIIIIIIIIT

>>4936653
yeah I'll also roll, don't know how many we need for our 2 actions.

Also after we cleared things up with Esther here I vote we hit on her for a bit. She cute.

Rolled 5 (1d20)

Forgot to roll lol

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>>4936669
(Just one roll.)

Your lasso and your swagger convince the two men that you are indeed the deputy. However, there is still the issue of who was at fault.

Whoever caused the accident gets to bribe the sheriff to make him look the other way. Whoever's not at fault is shit out of luck.

The man in the top hat (the one who got hit in the side) argues that, since he did not yield to through traffic in a T-intersection, he was at fault. Therefore, the man in the top hat should get to bribe the deputy.

The man in the campaign hat (the one who got hit in the front) argues that, since he was going at an unsafe speed that made him unable to brake in time, he was at fault. Therefore, the campaign hat man should get to give the bribe.

The top hat guy chimes in, saying that he was negligent in not wearing a seat belt. The campaign hat guy also says that he did not wear a seat belt, and adds that he was inebriated. Top hat guy says that he was also inebriated.

>>4936670
The cook admits that he does enjoy a good fish soup. He reasons that he could make fish tacos today, though the beef enthusiasts might raise a ruckus. The cook hands you some cash for the barrel.
+$1.10
You now have $3.40.

>>4936797
Unfortunately, Esther is only attracted to bishounen, and you are much too grizzled and hard-boiled for that.

>>4936838
they are both guilty. Pay up!

>>4936019
>I did make a quest called Food Quest.
Oh hell yeah. Food quest was great! Glad to see you came back QM.

>>4936838
>The Man in the Top Hat is at fault
The man in the campaign hat wasn't possibly going more than 5 miles an hour over the speed limit. Everyone knows the sheriff wouldn't bother pulling someone over for going that much over the speed limit, since his speed gun doesn't have that kind of accuracy.
And because the top hat man's horse ran into the campaign hat's horse, making him the ultimate cause of collision.

>>4936838


>>4936851
Supporting this solution. But we're a benevolent vigilante--er, deputy. Each can pay half the usual fine.

>>4936838
Let's get ourselves a room.

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>>4937027
You quiet the bickering men and present your adjudication, declaring that the man in the top hat was at fault. He smiles smugly at his campaign hatted companion as he hands you some money.

>>4936851
Sensing the opportunity for profit, you then accuse the man in the campaign hat of also being at fault.

The two men look at you oddly. It seems they've caught on to your greed and are doubting if you truly are the deputy. Law enforcement in this town may be corrupt, but they aren't so corrupt as to bleed the citizens dry.

>>4937102
You hurriedly backpedal and say that, as an upstanding enforcer of the law, you recognize the extenuating circumstances and will allow each of the parties to pay half of the usual bribe. They reluctantly accept.
+$0.90
You now have $4.30.

(1/2)

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>>4937102
You use your shiny new dollars to purchase a room at the hotel. It's a bit barren for now, but at least it's comfortable. And they even left a chocolate on your pillow; that's how you know it's a good hotel.
-$3.00
You now have $1.30.

(2/2)

>>4937344
Search the bed. that chocolate is probably just a ruse to distract you from the true treasure

>>4937350
Leave the hotel key and ace of spades in the room for now

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>>4937349
Under the bed is an Uno card: a green 7. (Green not pictured.) You don't have any more sleeve or belt space for it.

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>>4937354
You take the ace of spades out of your sleeve and put it on the desk. You don't leave the hotel key, though, because then you wouldn't be able to get back into your room.

>>4937365
>Not wanting to have an ace up our sleeves
Bad form. I'd say drop the chair leg, and the spare hat. (Is that a spare hat, or is the hat on our head also kept on our belt?) Keep the cards in our sleeve, and stack them to make the beginning of a Deck of Cards.

Inventory management aside, let's get back out there and deal with one of our goals. Probably locating and securing our horse from the impound lot.

>>4937417
Agreed on all counts.

>>4937417
+1, plus to that of the Deck of Cards, play with them for a bit by trying to hit random targets in the room at various positions, angles, and both hands by throwing them, magician style

>>4937417
I gotta ask, is it possible to wear two hats? Otherwise fully agree with this anon. I'd say we hit the shops next, sell some junk and see what's on sale.

>>4937417
As original recommender for the ace up the sleeve, +1

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>>4937417
You drop the table chunk and the deputy's hat. Your own hat is nestled safely on your head.

You merge the ace of spades and the green 7 into a deck of cards. In combat, one action will be required to break the deck into its individual components.

After some asking around, you find the location of the impound lot. Unfortunately, it's far enough away that you'll need a horse to get there.

>>4937454
You spend some time flicking cards around. It's not real shootin', but at least it's good for your hand-eye coordination.
Shootin': 2.6 + 0.5 = 2.65

As a gunslinger, your accuracy with thrown objects is impeccable on account of your shootin' skills, and cards are no exception. Throwing a playing card at an exposed body part will stun your enemy for a turn. Much like throwing normal inventory clutter, throwing a card costs no actions, but also drops the item on the ground. You can't stun enemies with a deck of cards.

>>4937459
You are not nearly High-Falutin' enough to figure out how to wear two hats at once. You don't even know how you can become High-Falutin'.

(1/2)

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>>4937459
You leave the hotel and hit up the general store. Some products on the shelves catch your eye. You check your wallet and see that you have $1.30.

That sock is tempting, the soup too, does food gives us permanent boosts?

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>>4937574
You don't get permanent stats from food unless it really puts hair on your chest. You inspect some of the wares on sale.

Apples are not gunslinger food. They are for weak-willed men who order fruity cocktails at the saloon. This thing is only good for feeding horses, and maybe repelling doctors.

This is light chicken noodle soup. It ought to be a crime to dilute that chickeny goodness. It'll probably increase your Rootin' by 1 for some time, but the real stuff is much more potent.

>>4937574
We can combine a sock and a can of soup to create a fearsome melee weapon!

>>4937580
Get an apple, the horse will enjoy it once we get her back

>>4937580
this>>4937591

>>4937568
>Put on the hat, but don't buy, just try it to see how comfortable it is
>Buy the sock, could be used for a melee weapon, and maybe a bit of extra inventory

>>4937799
>>4937582

we got a laso right , and two guns. Im not sure we need a sock. I mean, if we are not WEARING any socks it could be nice. but still seems like a waste of cash

>>4937799
+1

>>4937591
supporting thisJ2HND

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>>4937582
You consider putting a can in a sock to make a weapon alternately known as a sap, a cosh, and a blackjack, but most accurately, a slungshot. Unfortunately, melee weapons are mostly useless in the West, as they generally deal minimal damage and can't destroy body parts.

>>4937591
You buy an apple for your horse. You now have $1.20.

>>4937799
The hat is comfortable and has an extra bit of strength due to its band, which your current hat lacks.

You buy the sock. If you put it on one of your legs, it'd give you a bit of extra insulation against attacks. You now have $0.30.

You can refund anything you've purchased from the store until you leave.

>>4938293
Sock providing an extra hit point sounds fine. Might as well put it on.
Off to go find a horse so we can go get our horse.

>>4937995
That captcha is a bitch isn't
>>4938385
++

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>>4938385
You put the sock on your left foot. It's warm and comfortable.

(1/2)

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>>4938385
You leave the general store. You look around for some way to get a horse...

There are a number of horses tied near the saloon. You could hotwire one of them and ride off, but if your Rootin' skills aren't up to par, the horse's owner might notice you and take offense. Then again, the people who frequent this saloon aren't exactly known for their gunslinging skills.

Looks like someone parked their horse next to a red curb. You could hitch a ride to the impound lot, but you wouldn't have any way of getting back to town until you get your own horse back.

That rancher from earlier is heading out of town, and he's popped into the general store for a pit stop. It would be trivial to take the wagon off his horse and commandeer his ride. You can just give it back to him later.

(2/2)

>>4938508
Try to steal one of the horses. If it starts making a lot of noise, feed it the apple.

>>4938508
>hitch a ride on the towed horse

Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>4938521
>>4938534
Rolling for decision.

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>>4938521
You carefully walk up to one of the horses and feed it your apple, making sure not to startle it. Calmly, you stroke the gentle beast's mane, whispering to it softly. Then you hop on its back and try not to get sent flying.

Roll 1d20 +1 (Rootin') +6 (fed horse apple). At least 14 to pass.

Rolled 6 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>4938578

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>4938578

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>4938578

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>>4938588
Your grip slips and the horse launches you through the window of the saloon. You land in the middle of a poker game. The players aren't too pleased with your entrance.

(1/2)

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What shoot?

(Remember: the lasso can attack or wind up to stun, you can throw items without using an action, and throwing cards at exposed body parts will stun.)

(2/2)

>>4938654
You said our shootin' wasn't good enough to fire twice with one action, but that doesn't mean we can't fire once with each arm, right?

>Wind up for a stun on Not You
>Shoot Also Not You in the R Arm
Though, leg shots could also be a pretty good bet. 3 rounds and they are likely guaranteed to lose it. Can't juggle gear like arms can, either.

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>>4938670
You can indeed fire a gun from both hands at once.

You start spinning your lasso in one hand and use your other to shoot one of the guys' arms. His shirt cuff is grazed by the bullet and whizzes off into the distance.

The mustachioed man fires his gun at your right leg, knocking your whole boot off. With his other hand, he takes a sip of his booze, allowing him to avoid destruction of body parts for the next turn. He has 3/4 of his bottle remaining.

The bespectacled man throws his hammer at you, which bounces off your chest and dislodges your poncho. He then shoots you in the left leg, blowing off your other boot. With his remaining action, the man picks up a chunk of table from the floor.

(1/2)

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This turn, you can keep your lasso spinning for free, or use an action to stun somebody.

What shoot?

(Tip: There are 4 actions per turn against you right now, and you only have 2. Go for the enemy with less health first to take him out of the fight.)

(2/2)

>>4938781
Lasso not you, shoot also not you in the right arm. This is never gonna work captcha hates me

>>4938847
+1

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>>4938847
You throw your lasso and entangle the guy with the mustache, who falls on his ass in surprise. You then fire a shot at the guy with glasses that ricochets off his revolver, knocking it into the air.

The thin guy in the porkpie hat is too busy disentangling himself to act this turn.

The fat guy in the bowler hat uses both of his actions to pick up two bottles of booze. This is a saloon, so there's plenty to go around.

(1/2)

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What shoot?

(Tip: The only difference between firing a revolver and using a melee attack is that the melee attack doesn't need to be reloaded.)

>>4938882
Draw second gun, shoot also not you in the right arm with both guns

The artwork is amazing and the humour is on point
10/10 QM

>>4938892
This, and throw a card at not you to stun.

>>4938882
Card attack not in his handsome face
Shoot also in his right arm to break it

>>4938927
Oh and make sure you throw the ace of spades it should be on the bottom of the deck. Dealing from the bottom of a deck should be a skill a varmit like us should have

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>>4938892
You put your lasso on your belt and unload both of your revolvers into the bowler hatted man's arm, knocking his bottle away and tearing open his sleeve. His arm is completely exposed now.

>>4938923
Normally, it would take an action to separate your deck of cards. However, you're so pumped full of adrenaline from this two-on-one fight that you split the deck instantly.

You hold your ace of spades carefully. With expert skill, you flick the card at the bespectacled man's naked arm. The white rectangle slices through the air and delivers a gruesomely shallow paper cut to the man. He screams in pain and crumples to the floor.

His mustachioed partner acts quickly. The guy with the mustache flings his magnifying glass at your lasso, knocking it to the floor. With one of his actions, he fires his gun at your head, shooting off your hat. With his other action, he takes a deep chug of his bottle of booze, granting him complete damage immunity for a turn. His bottle is 1/4 full now.

>>4938927
Unfortunately, the drawing is already done. The drawing of your gun, that is.

(1/2)

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What shoot?

(Tip: Dealing damage is almost always a better use of actions than knocking away items.)

(2/2)

>>4938958
Shoot Also Not You in the right and left arms, since Not You is immune!

>>4938958
Blow also not you's fucking arm off and reload your 3-shooter

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>>4938964
>>4938965
You only have one bullet left, so you make it count. You send it flying towards the fat man's weak spot, and it hits its target, sending gobbets of flesh and blood everywhere. The bespectacled man is disarmed! You take the opportunity to reload.

The mustachioed man grins as he points his gun to your exposed head and pulls the trigger, only to be met with an empty click. He uses his second action to reload.

The man with glasses uses his one action to pick up a spittoon. He's starting to look desperate - he might try something tricky next turn. You might want something like, say, complete damage immunity...

(1/2)

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What shoot?

(Tip: When drinking, the amount matters.)

(2/2)

>>4938985
Is it possible to grab and chug an invincibility amount from a bottle of booze as one action or is that two? Either way do that and if there's time for another action reload the two shooter.

>>4938985
Grab a bottle, take a swig, shoot injured guy's other arm.

>>4939014
This, but take a deep chug instead of a swig for the damage immunity.

>>4939082
Supporting.

>>4938985
The fat man has a card in his arm now. Shout to the handsome man that fat man was cheating the whole time and he should join forces with you

>>4939205
To add, he's been drinking and has lost 0hp so he might believe we are on his side

>>4939208
>208▶
>>>4939205
That's a good point. Maybe we can use the cards we have to our advantage as well. Tell him we got the cards from the other players sleeve or something.

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>>4939001
>>4939014
>>4939082
Thinking quickly, you grab a bottle of booze from a nearby counter and take a mighty chug. Alcohol suffuses throughout your body, preventing all damage this turn.

The thinner combatant picks up his buddy's revolver and puts it on his belt. With his other action, he attempts a headshot, but the bullet bounces lightly off your booze-infused skull.

His bowler-hatted companion smiles grimly, having planned something awfully intelligent. First, he uses his only action to whack you in the chest with his spittoon. He follows that up by throwing every single one of his items at you, all without using any actions: the spittoon and booze at your left leg, the chunk of table at your right leg, and his four of hearts card at your chest.

All of that stuff he did had absolutely no effect due to the booze you just drank. Which is very good, because otherwise you would have been exposed in three body parts and stunned for a turn.

(1/3)

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The man in the glasses looks like he might tap out soon if you start doing any more damage to him. If one of these guys gives up, his friend probably will too.

What shoot?

(2/3)

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>>4939205
>>4939535
You attempt to convince the mustachioed man that his so-called friend was cheating, using the card lodged in his dismembered arm as evidence. You also wave around your Uno card, saying you got it from the fat man's own sleeve.

Roll 1d20 +1 (Tootin') +1 (alcohol bonus) +3 (accurate info) -3 (they weren't playing Uno) +7 (mustache guy was also cheating). At least 12 to pass.

(3/3)

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>4939567

Rolled 59 (1d120)

>>4939567
If the roll goes south, chug a bit of alcohol, then shoot at also not you to his other arm

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>4939592
Gonna reroll because I accidently put 1d120 instead of 1d20, I am a bit stupid

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>4939567

Rolled 20 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>4939567

Rolled 18 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

Go dice Roll

>>4939704
I see too, that we can't do a string of +1+1+3-3+7

>>4939592
This but go for the head cause if he picks something else up we'll have to waste a bullet shooting it out of his hand.

>>4939783
I think we have to commit to the bit or give ourselves away

>>4939794
"This here sumbitch-"
KABLAM
"-was cheatin'!" should be perfectly acceptable Western discourse.

>>4939831
fair

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>>4939580
You successfully fool the skinny man. He turns towards his pudgy compadre and starts poking at his chest in anger, and the bespectacled man responds in kind. The argument quickly escalates into a full-on brawl. You step away from the chaos.

The bartender informs you that, now that you're out of combat, any further booze you pick up will cost you $0.30 per bottle.

You give a cursory skim of the detritus of your battle, and notice something glinting on the floor. Hey, one of those guys dropped the key to his horse! You sneak it onto your belt, putting it and your hotel key onto a key ring you forgot you had until now.

You also notice that both of those guys dropped their wallets. Those are your wallets now.
+$3.65
You now have $3.95.

Practice with your gun has taught you more about the art of shootin'.
Shootin': 2.65 + 0.5 = 3.15
You leveled up your Shootin'! Now you can spend some of those points on special abilities, but be sure to leave a few so that you can pass skill checks. You'll have another chance to get abilities the next time you level up Shootin'.
>Rifle Handling (Cost: 2) - Allows you to shoot rifles, which deal more damage per shot
>Shotgun Handling (Cost: 2) - Allows you to shoot shotguns, which deal damage over multiple body parts
>Low Blow (Cost: 3) - Allows you to shoot crotches, which are heavily-armored but instantly incapacitate if destroyed; ineffective against women

Talking your way out of a fight has given you more confidence in your silver tongue.
Tootin': 1.2 + 0.3 = 1.5

Now you should pick up whatever you want to keep. If you leave junk from a gunfight lying on the floor, rats will steal it. It's common gunslingin' knowledge.

(1/2)

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It's not peak hours, but the saloon is filled with the noise of chattering barflies, swishing darts, and the honky-tonk music of the piano player in the corner.

You could hang around here for a bit, or just go outside and steal that guy's horse. Those two are going to be occupied for a while.

What do?

(2/2)

>>4940358
>>4940360
>Low Blow (Cost: 3) - Allows you to shoot crotches, which are heavily-armored but instantly incapacitate if destroyed; ineffective against women

Take the two playing cards, the magnifying glass, the lasso, the sheet, and the hammer.


Talk with the pretty lass at the bar.

>>4940361
Take the two playing cards, the magnifying glass, the sheet, and the hammer.

>>4940358>>4940360
>Don't take any special abilities yet
Dropping our Shootin' down to 0 sounds like a bad idea. Let's get it to 4 first before we drop our points.
>+1 to picking up playing cards and adding them to our deck and Retrieving lasso
>Talk with the lass

>>4940360
>>Low Blow (Cost: 3) - Allows you to shoot crotches, which are heavily-armored but instantly incapacitate if destroyed; ineffective against women
Go to the bathroom and take the stuff off the ground

Spit in the toon the go play some darks

>>4940358
>Challenge the dart players to a game

>>4940360
>Don't take any special abilities yet
>Take the two playing cards, the magnifying glass, the lasso, the sheet, and the hammer.

>>4940376
Support for this whole set of decisions.

>>4940364
Do this, and not get any abilities. The power gaming path here is clear:
1) buy rifle
2) unlock rifle handling (it's useless without the weapon)
3) low blow

Crotch-Sniper built is the way to go here!

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>>4940364
>>4940457
You pick up the magnifying glass, lasso, hammer, and cards (folding them into one deck). The sheet is actually just your poncho, which you put on already, unless you're talking about the sleeve scraps you tore from the guy with glasses.

>>4940361
>>4940376
You approach the woman at the bar counter. She takes one look at you, sees that you aren't a cute e-boy, and tells you to fuck off.

>>4940389
You enter the bathroom. It's just a bathroom.

When you open a door, somebody pokes their head up from the stall - it's the town drunk from earlier. Frantically, he begs you to get him some toilet paper, and offers to reimburse you greatly.

>>4940429
You hork a loogie into the spittoon. Now that's manly.
Rootin’: 1.4 + 0.1 = 1.5

>>4940433
The dart players accept your challenge, and ask you to put some money on your words. You put $0.50 in the pot. (A figurative pot. The only literal pots around are spittoons.)
[/green]-$0.50
You now have $3.45.

Roll 1d20 +3 (Shootin') +1 (alcohol bonus). At least 7 to break even, at least 14 to double your bet, and at least 20 to bullseye.

Rolled 1 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>4941014

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>4941014

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>>4941016
You hurl the dart with all your might. Unfortunately, you neglect to actually aim, and the dart ricochets off the wall and careens wildly across the saloon.

It doesn't look like you're getting that $0.50 back.

What do?

>>4941069
Time to skedaddle with our newly acquired horse.

>>4941078
+1

>>4941078
First, give the man in the bathroom some toilet paper, and accept the reward. If there are no rolls in the bathroom, ask the barkeeper.

>>4941014
>the sleeve
>>4941133
+1 if he has no paper too, maybe scooped up the sleeve scraps QM talked about

>>4941078
This, there's no window to escape through in that bathroom so homie's gonna have to procure his own shit tickets

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>>4941133
Your way to the bathroom is blocked by angry saloon patrons. You consign the drunkard to his sanitary entrapment.

>>4941078
You rush out of the saloon and quickly jump onto a horse. You pump the ignition and tear out with the screech of rubber on road, leaving behind the throng of incensed barflies.

After a few minutes of frantic driving, you look behind you and breathe a sigh of relief upon confirming that nobody's following. The heat is off, for now. Then you look around and realize you don't know where the hell you are. You're lost in the desert!

What do?

>>4941390
Investigate tents! Surely we shall find a map there

>>4941390
Check the GPS on the horse that will help us find out where we are. You know, the giddyup pony scream.

>>4941390
"If arguing, fighting or competing with someone is like shooting fish in a barrel, it is very easy to win"
We all know shooting fish in a barrel is easy. Take aim and shoot, the bullet will take us back to the hotal kitchen.

>>4941404
Support.

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>>4941417
There's no signal. Unfortunately, GPS satellites won't be launched for another 100 years. Thanks, Obama.

>>4941422
Recalling an old trick you learned in a survival guide, you point your gun to the sky and aim for the nearest barrel of fish. You effortlessly hit one, though you hear the characteristic crunch of a shot barrel much closer than you expected.

>>4941404
You turn around and see a small campsite. What luck! You're about to run down there and look for a map when you see a figure step out of the tent you shot. Your blood runs cold when you realize it's a crazed gunslinger.

Crazed gunslingers are not very fashionable, but they are frighteningly intelligent. You might be able to take this guy in one-on-one combat, but you'll have to hit him when he least expects it. Riding your horse into battle will help, since being mounted gives you one extra action per turn.

You carefully watch the crazed gunslinger as he looks around, his movements stiff and robotic. He shuffles back into his tent, his cane making soft thumps on the dusty ground as he walks.

A crazed gunslinger camp only a few minutes from town? This does not bode well.

What do?

>>4941483
Can't we just retrace the horse tracks back? There's three tents, so if these guys are dangerous 1one1, I am a bit wary of attacking alone.

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>>4941512
That is a fantastic idea. Unfortunately, when you realized you had outrun your pursuers, you and your horse engaged in an impromptu square dance out of joy, wiping away the tracks.

>>4941520
Keep watch of the camp until night fall. Looking through the hole in the tent, see if he’s sleeping. If he is, attempt to quietly assassinate him with the hammer.

>>4941530
supporting

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>>4941530
You watch the camp for about fifteen minutes before you see another crazed gunslinger stumble out of a tent. Blood pouring from its arm stump, the gunslinger slowly walks into the desert carrying a book. You wait a few more minutes and quietly sneak down to the camp to see the tents for yourself.

The first tent is full of crates of booze. You aren't sure why crazed gunslingers would have booze; they never seem to drink.

The second tent, the one the crazed gunslinger just left, is much more interesting. There's three rifle bullets, a shotgun with five shotgun shells, and a handy ammo pouch for carrying non-revolver ammo. There's also a pack of cigarettes and a hunting knife. And, disturbingly, there is a detailed map of the nearby town. You look over the map and work out directions back to town.

The third tent contains the first crazed gunslinger you saw, who is performing some kind of magical ritual on the barrel of fish you shot earlier. He doesn't notice you now, but he'll definitely take offense to being assassinated with a hammer.

If you attack the crazed gunslinger right now, you estimate you'd have about 9 turns before his buddy returns. (In comparison, the fight in the saloon lasted 6 turns.) If you open with a sneak attack, ride your horse, and fight strategically, you can win easily.

If you steal their items and run, they would definitely try to track you down. Crazed gunslingers are spiteful like that.

You know how to get back to town. But are you really going to just let these guys do whatever they're planning?

What do?

>>4941579
Would it be possible to surprised hogtie (not magical relem honest) this or the other crazed gunman. Pulling this guy out from the camp and dragging him off with the horse or engaging the other away from camp should give us more turns.

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>>4941579
>sneaky charge attack from a horseback!
crush his skull with our hammer!

>>4941579
Take hunting knife, shotgun, both kinds of ammo and the pouch and have horse hold them for us. Trade magnifying glass for hunting knife. Then ride up and lasso this varmint.

>>4941608
Supporting this. Let's hogtie the other CG--a one-armed dude will be easier to keep restrained.

>>4941608
Hammer time!

>>4941603
I don't think we need more turns, he's already damaged as well.

What ever it is. I think we should check the booze before drinking it.

>>4942009
Whoops didn't take my name off

>>4941608
Remember melee weapons can't break body parts. Only guns can get past the years of built up sweat, dirt, and hard grit that makes up the Western Gunslinger's hide.

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>>4941802
You swap your magnifying glass for the knife. You attach the pouch to your belt and grab the ammo, then hand the shotgun to your horse.

>>4942009
The booze is just normal old booze. It's warm from the hot desert sun.

>>4941603
>>4941608
You let out a fearsome war cry as you charge through the tent on your horse, surprising the crazed gunslinger. You rope him by the neck with your lasso and pull the shocked revenant on his ass, then drag him away from camp for a few seconds before he manages to break out of the tangle. You also bop him on the head with your hammer, knocking his hat off and exposing a can of beans.
-1 Head HP

With how slow these guys move, you estimate you just gained yourself another turn before the gunslinger's friend arrives, for a total of 10.

Looking at the can on the gunslinger's head makes you realize you can put stuff under your own hat.

(1/2)

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Remember, you have three actions per turn thanks to your horse. You also don't know how to shoot a shotgun.

What shoot?

(2/2)