>>5353610
>1. Write a prompt

>>5353610
>Punch trees

>>5353610
>mine wood

>>5353617
>>5353629
>>5353638

>an old sign infested with termites showed the man a way to a small village near the place which could probably give the man a shelter
>however , the path required the man to traverse through the exotic forest
>because the man isn't a retard , he tried to look for a much safer path
>after walking 50 meters away from the forest, he saw some actual green trees, however, the familiar flora was blocked by a wide river
>the man tried to swim, but the water is so cold that the man's feet almost froze
>it seems like the forest is the only way to the village.
>the man remembered an old game he played, and foolishly believed he got teleported into that game's world
>he punched the trees and rocks just like the protagonist of the game, expecting resources to magically appear
>the only thing he got are sore hands.

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>>5353644
pic
also please draw what you did

>>5353654
Fuck off thats not my job get off your ass and draw me a picture or text prompt with some options youre willing to draw or write, otherwise I pick
>Write in
>Drown and die
Put in a little effort at least holy fuck

>>5353674
+1 and
>write in
>chastise self for being a lazy, boring slob

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>>5353654
Or if you intended for other people to take over or have this be a collaborative quest with lots of effort from everyone (drawing every update), maybe give us a nudge in the right direction, or a better foundation to start from lol.

>>5353684
Nicer than I, but he is correct in this if you wanted something other anons couldve collaborated on you shouldve made a goofy worldbuilder or evoquest, and for the love of god if youre going to make something in the future (which I definitely still want from you) put in some effort, dont just draw up something in 30 seconds, anon all im saying is be better, do better, the work you put in will make people want to see the art you make, no one cares if you dont care

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Rolled 7, 19, 49 = 75 (3d100)

A little tissue box for anyone who needs (or wants) to sneeze/cry/cum, and a little roll of the dice to stir the spirit of the dice angels.

>>5353688
>be better, do better
Imagine how actually not-shit the world would be to live in if people applied this advice unironically.

Also, if it wasn't obvious, I fully second this anon's post. You're on your ass all day, QM (or you wouldn't be a QM). The least you can do is put effort into sitting on your ass all day.

>>5354243
I mean... You'd have to be a total retard (or child) to make a quest like this and not even try to right the ship even a little, regardless of how much you sit on your ass.

This quest is like a 1 on the scale of 10, but I feel like most quests never get to the point of 10/10, because if you have that type of writing talent... You don't do it for free for weeks/months on end. Unless it's some real labor of love and/or you're locked out of every other venue.

Not to be a dickhead, but most quests here are a 6 out of 10 or less, and the average for all quests would be about a 3.5-4.

mfw this is fucking no-effort, that i wanna try to run it myself with lowest effort possible

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As you take the road towards the village, you notice a pale straw hatted figure approach you from the horizon. When you face to meet him you notice he is holding a very well drawn pitchfork which he is holding in a most unfriendly manner.
He screams: " Ye feckin' ben'ghits fookin woonderin' ye ol feckin' rooth's, kent fookin'th bringhht't fookin't herbes't' me town't. fekin't git.
What do you do with this fine gentleman?
Hint hint: He might stab you with it
HP:100
Weapons:None lmao, goodluck isekai looking ass
Abilities: To be made up
>Attack him
>Strike a conversation topic
>Write in

im gonna sleep now when i wake up and IF anybody replies imma make another low effort drawing

>>5355035
>Strike up a conversation about herbs, when he starts reminiscing snatch his pitchfork and run into the night
I say we claim the woods as are own and become a local legend

>>5355037
Very based
>>5355073
OP said it's a very well drawn pitchfork. Not "drawn" as in artistically doodled (though it is), "drawn" as in wielded offensively or defensively, like if a hobo draws a knife on you or a cop draws a gun. There's no way we're taking away a well drawn weapon. I suggest instead we...
>>5355035
>Attack him
Kick him in the nuts so hard that they retract in his stomach and he throws them up

>>5355073
>>5355193
Updating soon. Had a wonderful sleep btw.

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You enter into a rant about your deep knowledge of the local plant lore, you mention wonderful plants such as the Asparagus. "wonderful flavor and has a great influence on the urinary tract" you metion. The peasant has a very flavergasted expression as you move on to oregano and its wonderful flavor to pizzas and then to ferns uhhhhhhh......
>You realize you dont know much about herbs or the local plantlife

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The peasant approaches you while keeping his farming stabbing tool beyond grasp. He spits to his side while giving you a nasty scowl.
"Lisn'h yer lil' fekin' shi'the, yer shid'y diale't confooses the shii'e outa mi. Yer clerly nu't frem roun' ere, hop duh' niuw kin' roun ere diels wi' yu lo't an'...

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Your mind goes blank

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>-1 hp, you bruised your leg lmao.
>NEW ABILITY: Extreme violence, allows you to double your damage while under extreme stress or under 50% HP
>Peasant defeated, good job I have no idea what he was talking about anyways
>You looted a strawhat, -5 sun
>You looted a pitchfork, +5 pitchforking
You can now head to the village or town that was mentioned earlier or whatever, I think the dude mentioned some kingt you could talk to
>Anything else you want to do before you head to town?
I think i put too much effor not going to lie

>>5355530
I'm enjoying this new direction

Shaded from the sun, there's no way to stop us now.
>Frolic about in the forest for a bit, look for woodland creatures or natural knickknacks

>>5355701
Sorry for not updating yet dude, was waiting for more replies then got caught up with some friends, will try to do something in a couple of hours.

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You decide to do some foraging before heading to Pisvale, you find several species of ferns, shrooms that are probably not safe to eat and some nice purple berries.
>YUM, the sweet purple berries gave you +1 hp, and several essential vitamins.
>100 HP
Damn this stuff is pretty damn good, you could just spend some minutes munching on these.
Hopefully nobody bothers you...

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>>5356437

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>>5356438

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Well it seems you are in another combat encounter, however now it is with a FOREST CREEP, however this time he is going to fight back!! he seems pretty evil too so it might be hard to charm him out of combat (or impossilbe).
>HP 100
>Abilities: Etreme violence, unavailable due to moderate stress levels (needs high stress)
>you are armed with a pitchfork, effective at pitchforking your foes (stabbing).
>What is your course of action here mr mc?

>>5356458
Use hands/pitchfork to rip the robe off of the forest creep, like a Scooby Doo villain!!

>>5356458
>Use pitchfork to rip the robe off of the forest creep
Exposure damage for an antisocial freak will be devastating.

Dont worry anons, I am still here just forgot to update as i suddenly developed narcolepsy. Should be an update within a couple of hours.

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This freaky asshole who clearly looks like he hasn't bathed in a while tried to ambush you! Unbelievable. You have to show this creep who is boss and how better than to expose his stinky ass to the sun! The tension of having to charge straight into him is a bit stressful though.
>You are now moderately stressed.

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You charge with your pitchfork held straight on your 2 hands, he quickly reacts by jumping straight towards you with his freakish claws, just as your fork meets his cloth you duck right under his grasp and...

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The thing staring back at you is not a man

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>-5 hp, you got scratched by the husk while ducking. 95 HP total.
After standing again and turning to face your opponent you are met with a most unsightly being.
It is the human equivalent of an aged raisin, it is skinny to the bone with a skin tone of a person who rotted on the inside only. It is lacking a mouth and genitals to distinguis sex as if it never had those or they simply dried off.
Worse of all its "eyes" are holes that seem to consume the light with the exception of 2 holes that transmit pure hatred and Jealosy?
Above it all it stinks even worse of amonia with the robes removed
>Your opponent has taken a more aggresive pose, it seems like it will commit to a more violent attack.
>Abilities: Etreme violence, unavailable due to medium stress levels (needs high stress)
>You are armed with a pitchfork, good at forking your pitch.
>What do you do?

>>5357887
>Lose our shit, this is fucking terrifying, what the fuck kind of god would let this thing live it absolutely must be killed

>>5357887
>Wear his robe and command him to bow down or be our friend or leave or try to scare him

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>>5357887
I am working today, update will come later today. Until then can you guys roll me some dice. Bo3
dc 75

Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>5358996
>>5357906
Me im using data rn

Rolled 3 (1d100)

Rolled 100

>>5358996
>>5358996

>>5359091
Same lol

>>5357906
+1, if these woods are ours now that thing needs to be gone.
>>5358996
Dice+1d100

>>5359135
Uh anon. The dice goes in the options field.

>>5359135
Make sure the d in dice is lower case as well

I swear to god the curse is real, first work and now family isUpdate tomorrow anons I am very sorry.
Until then you guys can leave some comments or show me how I can write better, I am very new to this in case you couldnt tell.

Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>5358996
brollen

Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>5359135
>>5359156
>>5359214
Yeah im a newfag, didn't even knew "options" existed.

>>5359486
I say you count it, OP

>>5359486
>didn't knew
Not just any newfag, you're an ESL newfag.

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>>5359694
>picrelated
Updating soon anons.

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T-this man.. thing is goddamn terrifiying,why is this thing like this... why does it w-want to hurt you man holy shit. It continues to stare. what if you can bacome like it, oh god its still looking man holy shit holy shit HOLY shit man, where is its fucking nipples man. It continues to stare, it hates you, did those shits also dry off???!.
Your fight or flight is screaming at you to run, scream or MOVE, but you just stand there frozen.
In a stupor you try to do something by wearing its left over cloak. It continues to stare. It continues to stare, there are worse things than death.
>You now stink of death
You try to mutter to it to bow down but it continues to stare. No friendship with death.
You try to scare him but it continues to stare.
It continues to stare.
It continues to stare.
You stare back, it continues to stare.

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>>5360372
It runs towards you, it stares.
You would dodge but it continues to stare.
You are going to die.
You will become like it.
You quickly get out of your mid freeze panic and finally decide to go with the flight response in this horrid situation.

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>>5360373
You should have done it sooner...
>100 damage-diceroll
>33 damage recieved
>62 HP left
>You are now highly stressed, extreme violence enabled as an action.

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>>5360375
This FUCKER, this is the most wounded you have ever been from a goddamn fight. You want to bash its skull in but it continues to stare.
You cough a decent portion of blood, it clearly got you good. You ready you pitchfork for your next action towards this mockery of a human being.
>What do?
>Extreme violence?
>Extreme violence?
>try to run lmao
>write in

Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>5360378
>THROW YOUR MIGHTY PITCHFORK AT THIS ABERRATION AS IT IS PURELY IN DEFIANCE OF YOUR SENSES

>>5360378
>>Extreme violence?

>>5360493
+1 to chucking pitchfork like a spear at the... the thing.

Awesome drawings btw

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>>5360813
Thanks anon, really made my day there.
Update in a couple of hours.

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This husk... it is clear now, it has lost all of its humanity. Now all it has is the most horrid numb feeling towards itself and its surrounding. Every part of its skin now a vague irritation that gives an itch that can never be satisfied. All it has now is its consciousness with a very vague memory. You can see it all in the orifice of its skull.

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>>5361275
It is time for it to receive mercy, and for you to be over with this very long combat encounter that felt like days.
It stands behind a tree, you ready the pitchfork you looted so long ago, for the strike of a lifetime.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSTlRNa42cY
*FWOOOSH*

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>>5361278
The pitch lands true on the torso of the husk, with a great impact it lands skewered straight into the tree, causing it to be impaled and immobile.
As it lays on the tree in shock, it quickly starts crumbling from the inside. Whatever horrible curse keeping its body mobile has been demolished.
It crumbles and leaves the loudest silent moan you heard.
Out of its remains a spirit rises and quikly vanishes flashing hatred towards you from its spirit eyes.
You will probably never know what fate it has in what lays after.

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>>5361281
>LEVEL UP
Congrats you are now Level 1!!!
Not only has some random background stats turned into Highter number but your max healt is now 112! *yay*. Also you gained bragging rights for killing an evil creature in a cool way :DDDD
>It will be harder to stress you out, you may have ptsd lmao
Well now you are in the middle of the forest standing in front of crimson ashes whilst badly wounded.
>You still stink by the way -charisma, especially towards women.
>HP 62/112
>You have a sunhat -5 sun
>You have a bloodied pitchfork +5 pitching +5 forking
>You are calm
Well now that those stats are dealt with, what do you do now???
>get ambushed again by wandering the forest hopefully the combat encounter isnt as long though
>Go to that town village hamlet thing, we talked about it from the beginning, remember?
>Something wacky and creative (write in)???

>>5361281
Bury the husk's ashes and place a little marker or headstone for it then continue

>>5361285
Oopsie I didn't wait long enough to see this. I still stick with the burial plan, then go to the ham village

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>>5361291
Lol, update in a couple of hours incoming.

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You decide to do the upstanding thing and bury your opponent, despite the fact such opponent would probably not do the same to you, you really shouldnt think what it would do to you.
Anyways, after an hour of backbreaking, pitchfork on hard soil with wounds onyouur gut labor, you put the remains in a hole and add a simple cross as a marker.
Rest in peace poor husk.
Anyways on to the plot hook :D

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>>5362073
You have arrived in Pisvale! Quite a neat fortified settlement if you would say so yourself.
You can see that on the perimeter there is a wooden wall looming over a dug ditch with occasional towers and a gate on the road to keep off the riff raff, raiders and potentially an organized attack. There are several thatched roofs on the inside and a lot of smoke billowing out from them, you notice a church looking stone building on the distance.
On the very middle there is a hillfort with a large longhall for the assumed local lord to preside over his burgh.
You noticed guards standing around the entrance gates. They look friendly enough though and will probably let you in with little trouble, you are only armed with a pitchfork after all.
Once inside the settlement what do you do?
>Go to the hillfort and talk to the lord, you will probably get a quest or something cool.
>Go to the church, you can talk and will probably get charity for your poor wounded state
>Go to the market, you are quite poor so you probably wont get much out of it
>Go to the local alehouses, same problem as above but you will be dealing with alcohol.
>Write in???

>>5362082
>>Go to the church, you can talk and will probably get charity for your poor wounded state
Hopefully there's a nice, hot priestess and not a grumpy, old priest

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>>5362546
Update is being created at the moment .

>>5363179
oh shit

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You approach the gate and greet the helmet guy. He has a nice spear, he also lets you through no problem, guess your sunhat makes you look very welcoming.
Apparently the settlement has very little sanitation standards, people haul around farm animals that happily defecate on the road and people dispose buckets of... liquid.
On further thought you decide to go to the cleanest looking building around, the church building, you ask a local about it and apparently it is dedicated to a St. Piseos, Neat.
Hopefully there is a hot priestess in there too to treat your wounds from earlier, its starting to leave some kind of weird scorched texture.

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>>5363324
You enter the stone building, probably the only building in town of such material. On the inside you see several pews, candles and icons in dedication to different figures. Quite a cozy place if a bit simple in style.
Aand the priest is an old dude, at least he doesnt look grumpy though. He greets you and notices your wounds and your absolute poverty.
>Wounds treated 30 HP recovered from bandage and tasty herby brothy soup treatment.
>HP 92/112
>You also receive 5 coins, since your only property is a cheap trident and a straw cap.
He also tells you that you can sleep in the abbot if required.
He also tells you of possible jobs in town, you could help around in the construction of a couple of houses, the lord is also recruiting people for some quest.
>Do you wish to ask him something else?
>Go somewhere else
>Take an action in the church?

Also by tthe way there will probably not be an update tomorrow since i am going to hang out with a friend tomorrow. To make it up I will make 2 updates in Sunday since I will be free that whole day.
Hope you guys have a nice weekend.

Yay he's not grumpy

>Ask the priest about the ruler of Pisvale, about the problems the town faces, and about the specifications of his religion - all to determine whom we should join/avoid.

>>5363337
Sick, hell yeah. Have a nice time.

>>5363335
>Ask him if he's looking for an altar boy

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>>5365019
Goddamn that is beautiful, I never expected fanart out of this lmao.
Update is currently being made now.

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>Ask about the ruler of Pisvale
He tells you that the name of the local warlord is Wigand Adalson. He has been ruling Pisavale and the surrounding countryside for about 2 years after entering conflict with his half brother over a succession crisis following the death of his father.
He has a reputation of being fair in justice but has been very strict on the local Vlach population.
Currently he is building up a bigger militia and is setting up more fortifications. He serves under King Almaric.

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>>5365220
>Ask about the problems the town faces
He tells you that due to its fortifications the town in itself does not suffer too much, however in the countryside there are several pockets of Demonic cults, pagan tribes and other highwaymen harrasing the villages.
He also points out that you are not the first victim of those hooded creatures that you have encountered.
Supposedly if left untreated your body would have rotted from the inside before you would have died.

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>>5365223
>Ask about religion
He tells you that he serves under the jurisdiction of his holiness Iacobus, the Autocephalus* Patriarch of the North and of the Gothic peoples.
His position is very recent and is currently looking for a location for the seat of his archbishopric, this has caused very severe competition among local kings.
He is focused on propagating the faith on the remaining Gothic peoples in the east of your location.
Aside from all of that loreposting it seems like your standard medieval christianity sort of deal.
>Ask him if he's looking for an altar boy.
He respectfully tells you that he has sufficient acolytes, and even if he needed more, he would preffer to take in those from the local community. He does say that you can help him with local chairty work for those affected by war in the countryside.
>doing this will get you a positive reputation and renown as devout. Good christian boy. He does recommend that you take a bath first
>You still stink of dead body from using that creatures clothes.
well asides from that what would you like to do???
>Ask for more lore
>Do charity work(for free btw, you only get +5 heaven points)
>Go to market, you can now spend those 5 coins :DDDD
>Use one of those coins for a bath instead /: (lose deadbody stink)
>Go to the lords hillfort for epic quests

*Autocephalous: Is the status of a hierarchical Christian church whose head bishop does not report to any higher-ranking bishop.
Pretty much he is his own pope in his local area, although he still communicates with other bishops of his ranks as equals.

>>5365235
I'm torn between seeking out glorious battle and being a noble, charitable servant

Guess we should
>Take a bath for 1 coin
>Take a bath for 1 coin
>Take a bath for 1 coin
>Take a bath for 1 coin
>Take a bath for 1 coin

Yep, spend all our money hanging out at the public bathhouse. We'll definitely meet a bunch of cool guys there! Or maybe we can overhear some juicy info, find a lost trinket of value or mysterious power, or lend a helping hand to whoever may be in duress!
We'll also be squeaky clean!

>>5365261
Im just saying man, using the whole day for bathing wont do you good.

>>5365482
>Go to the lords hillfort for epic quests
After bath

>>5365235
>Use one of those coins for a bath instead /: (lose deadbody stink)
Then
>Go to the lords hillfort for epic quests

I doubt we have enough money for anything useful yet.

Had a long day at work today anons, update coming tomorrow since I can stay up longer.

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>>5366414
forgot pic goddamnit

>>5365235
>>5365261
+1
+1
+1
+1
+1
>>5366416
>quest delayed
>pic delayed

>>5366511
Yeah.
Update currently being made.

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>>5367620
Goddamit again

>>5367632
Aww yeah

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You have been noticing that people around you find you repulsive. It's not that you look bad or anything, buut that husk's clothes did kind of stink of fermented corpse. Probably not the best of ideas to put that up on your head but hey you were kind of in shock at the moment.
With all of this in mind it is decided that you are headed towards the bathhouse. Fortunately everyone seems eager to show you were it is.
The building is bigger than most abodes, once you enter you see several wooden tubs, pits of steaming comfortable water. Workers, servants and attendants go around making sure everything is clean and even offering drinks and morsels of food to those bathing.
It seems like this is a very popular place to relax with friends, neighbours and even strangers. Several people are talking, you hear some mustached people talk in what sounds like french but without the nasal texture.
An attendant asks for coins and you offer your 5 coins.
She takes one and tells you to go to one of the wooden tubs, she tells you to stay still.

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>>5367806
>You loose stink
The water was freezing cold. But hey at least you dont smell horrid anymore.
She tells you that to go to the steaming baths you need 10 coins for an hour. Being unable to stay longer for no reason and unable to talk to those enjoying the bath you dress yourself and leave.
You decide to go see the lord now that you smell presentable.
>You now have 4 coins in your person, congrats you are now 20% poorer.

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>>5367812
Approaching the hill you are stopped by a couple of armed men, they ask what you wish to discuss with the lord Wigand.
You tell them that you wish to commit a quest for him.
They then start escorting you up the hill and through the gates. Inside there are several wooden buildings of wood and thatch, probably the homes for the local retinue and servants. Wooden watch towers dot the area around the wall and there is also a small stone building.
However most noticeable of all is the great hall in the center of it all. It looks like a 2 story thatched building whose roof is supported by several wooden stilts on the floor. The wall is made of cobbled stones and there is a large doorway greeting you in.
this took way too long to draw

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>>5367812
Entering inside you are in a large hall dotted with tables, a very large hearth in the middle with a very bright fire. Some lightly armored but heavily armed men sit to eat, drink and socialize with each other. You notice that there is a ladder leading upstairs to what you assume are sleeping quarters.
At the end of the hall there you see the very man yourself in a hight seat togueter with other men of high honor. He is armored in chainmail and has a well decorated helm.
>He asks for your name
>What IS your name????

>>5367819
Cya tomorrow guys, finally have free off work but for now I reeally gotta sleep.

>>5367818
Badass drawing no cap fr fr

>>5367819
>My name...? Dillirick Gerbetapon

>>5367819
>Samuel Rodrigues

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Update being created!!!

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>You tell him that your name is Dillirick Gerbetapon, I hope you didnt put a hidden meaning that I couldnt find.
"Well met Dillirick Gerbetapon, clearly you are a stranger to this lands, and wether your name was given by a father or wether you named yourself so while breaking fast, to be frank does not matter to me."
"What does matter to me is that I need good capable men with me, I heard of your encounter with some hooded Filth"
"If you proove yourself a capable man I will see within my power to have you greatly rewarded"

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>>5368975
>He offers you to join in an expedition towards the roadways in search of marauders and other troublemakers in the road.
>You will accompany 9 other men to rely on
>You will be supplied a spear which is pretty bad at pitchforking but really good at forking.
>Based on the merit you show will decide the reward.

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>>5368978
>He also offers the option to look for the bearded man in the forest and slay him for his crimes to the lord.
>He is hidden in the forest and has other cultists guarding him
>You will receive a weapon of your choice.
>You are also instructed to destroy any effigies you find along your way.

So what will this mister DillRick do?
>I uhhh changed my mind....
>I will accompany your patrol!!
>I will slay this bearded cultist!!!!

>>5368981
Accompany the patrol!

>>5368981
>I will slay this bearded cultist!!!!

>>5369153
>>5369398
I am going to need a tiebreaker soon or I am going to have to use a 1d2

>>5368981
> I will slay this bearded cultist!!!!

>>5369153
I'll switch to cultist

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>You chose to assasinate the bearded cultist
"His name is Ashkanlez, I dont know where he hails from but according to living witnesses he is a summoner."
"You will easily spot him as the robed man with a long beard and empty eyes, do not be tricked by him! he is not the frail old man that he acts to be! He clearly has sould his soul to some foul devil for power"

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>>5369896
"His lair is located north of Pisvale over the river and the the east towards the bogs."
"There will be a river crossing, I will make sure to have men posted there for your safe travels"
"You must also travel alone, he must not know that you are approaching or he will flee to some other godforsaken hole"
"Now my friend, please follow me outside."

>>5369899
checked
You walk by him outside while while sipping some mead, It is quite sweet and fruity!"
He brings you to a stone based building with a chimney.
"Now you can't be expected to dispose of an evil summoner with just a pitchfork!"
"Here, you can choose your weapon of choice, hell I will even add a leather jerkin just so a club may leave you with bruises instead of broken bones"
"Choose wisely friend"

Which weapon are you wisely choosing???
>THE AXE!!
>THE SPEAR!!
>THE SWORD
>akschually I want my pitchfork (you die in the final fight, im not kidding hell you cant choose this one im going to railroad you out of it )

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>>5369904
forgot pic

Btw i will have to take a 3 day break. Work has me going all afternoon. Dont worry anons I am getting a better job after that and these hiatuses should be alot less frequent. Thank you all for being here despite my many spelling mistakes lol.

>>5369906
Axe!

>>5369904
>THE AXE!!
Looks the coolest on pic, otherwise I'd go with sword.
>>5369896
>sould his soul
this sentence goes beyond the mortal realm
>>5369918
Good luck with work. Don't worry about mistakes or use spelling checker thing that marks weird words in red.

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A legend returns.
Hello people, honestly last 3 days have been exhaisting but I am finally back!
Not only that but my working hours are much more better I now get an afternoon to enjoy
Update is being made at the moment thank you all for your patience.

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You have very decidedly chosen the AXE!
You can now Chop Chop, slash and hack your enemies until they are as mobile as trees!
It is a heavy hitting one handed weapon which means you can hold something in your offhand (like a shield),
Do be careful though, axes are known for taking effort from nudging out of corpses.

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>>5374018
"A very fine choice DillRick! Now that you have choosen your weapon let us be merry!"
He brings you back to the hall and seats you right next to him, how neat :D
Someone starts playing a wild beat on his kazoo sounding instrument, It is actually quite catchy.
You receive several trays of meats, cheeses, fresh fruits, birds, grapes and flagons full of warm fruity tasting wine that reminds you of Sangria.
Everyone is laughing and making jokes and even once lord Wigand makes a toast to your name.

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>>5374022
Suddenly another merrymaker approaches your table and challenges you to a drinking game :o
What will you do???
>say no like the coward you are
>do it (roll 2d6)

Rolled 1, 6 = 7 (2d6)

>>5374025
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!!!

Rolled 4, 6 = 10 (2d6)

>>5374025
Lets hope we get some poison resistance if we survive all that beer

Rolled 2, 6, 5 = 13 (3d6)

Oh I forgot to mention that your opponent gets 3d6. Goodluck (:

>>5374547
>13, literally impossible to beat with 2d6
RNGesus has spoken, and he hates our guts

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>>5374591
Get decked

Update is currently in development btw

>>5375029
There's a guy at my work who can down a 10oz beer glass in one swallow. Shit's freaky.

>>5375042
Holy shit that guy needs AA

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You accept the ultimate party duel from a man who clearly does not drink that often.
You had a couple of meals in you meaning that you have an extra advantage (that and you are no lightweight of course).
As the cups drag along you both get slurrier in speech and highly witty jokes that you will forget are thrown around.
Everyone is cheering both your names and even the usually stoic lord starts laughing along and cheering.

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>>5375069
Unfortunately for you, this guys is built different.
He keeps chugging cups as he gets served, you clearly have no chance.
You start feeling nauseous, you both take several urine breaks and last time you had to be supported by two very nice people.
However just as you have hope and notice that he is visibly getting sloshed, you feel veery heavy.
Oh shieet.

You lost, you were reaally close too.
>You earn respect from the higher ups in society for putting such a fight.
>You also become a more experienced drinker, you will from now on receive an extra 1d6 for drinking games!!!! (revenge arch??)
you guys honestly rolled well, a shame he had more dice

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>>5375070
You wake up feeling like you are being crushed by several pounds of lead. The usually blessing sunlight penetrates through your eyelids in a disaproving glare. Everything hurts.
Despite this, you are a big boy and take the pain like a man as you gather your belongings. Fortunately for you everyone is respectful of your pains and leave you in silence with approving smiles and some thumbs up.
Aaanyways what should the now legendary drinker DillRick do?
You own:
>A pitchfork, +5 pitchforking, (worth 40 coins)
>A straw sunhat, -5 sun.(Worth 10 coins)
>A Steel axe! +50 axing!
What actions would you like to do??
>Market! You own 24 coins since the lord gave you 20
>Go outside, time to travel to your quest!!
>Write in???

>>5375073
Obligatory market run

>>5375073
>Go outside, time to travel to your quest!!

>>5375128
>>5375169
Im going to need a tiebreaker soon enough guys.

>>5375073
Now we have the money, lets go to the market

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>>5375128
>>5375771
Very well our brave Dillrick will go to the markets to find anything useful for his epic quest!
Update within 1 and a half hour.

>>5376067
offer to buy the hat

>>5376084
>2000 coins
apparently the feather is from the orient.

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You decide that it would be most practical to use your funds to prepare for your 2 day journey.
Going downtown, you find yourself in some kind of plaza, several people are gathered to socialize and do their daily shopping around the well.
There are several stalls selling all kinds of goods including foods, drinks, pottery, cheap jewelry, timber, tools, building materials, Alot of varieties of cloths oh damn its very overwhelming what you are able to buy.
>You hear stories about the northern swamps, apparently your hat wont be very useful due to foggy weather.

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>>5376094
You would love to check all the available wares, however you have a very strict budget, you spend your time looking for items you can afford.
There are some more expensive items that could be really useful, but you can only afford by selling some of your stolen goods.
>You cant sell the axe or leather jerkin as they were gifts and it would be very rude to sell them.
>A farmer needs a new hat and tools, he is willing to buy your hat for 10 and your pitchfork for 40
Now for the items you can buy.
>Basic food, hardtack driedfish and salted meat. 5 coins per day of supply. You dont need to buy this but it will save time from foraging in the wild. (while foraging you will be exposed to ambush)
>Swamp boots 4o coins. +5 speed and negates maluses from moving in swampy terrain.
>Waterproof hood, 20 coins negates rainy weather.
>Square plank shield, 50 coins. You can use it in your offhand. -5 getting hit on your face
What will you purchase???

>>5376087
Drats, I knew it.

>>5376101
Sell Hat and Pitchfork
Buy Boots and Hardtack x4

>>5376136
You would have 54 coins spare. Anything else?

>>5376155
Nah we boolin'

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Update is currently being drawn. Incoming withing 2 hours

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You decide to get 4 days worth of food supplies.
Nothing too special, just some hard breads, dried meat and fish. Aand a small string of cheese just as a treat.
You then decide to sell your very legally aquired loot of sunhat and pitchfork, although you are quite attached to them they can be better used by a better farmer.
>You have sold your pitchfork and straw sunhat, rip.
He seems pretty happy to get the stuff at a pretty good price.
>You now own 54 currencies
Without anything better to do, and to fasten the pace of this quest you leave the oh so wonderfully smelling Pisvale.

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>>5376968
When you think back to the words of the warlords, you remember that to reach the marshy wetlands you have to go north on a poorly paved road to a river crossing.
From there it should be mostly wild forested land, the further northeast you go the wetter the floor gets. Due to all the foliage it should take 2 days from now as long as there are no unnecessary delays...
"Oi ye git"

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>>5376973
Somehow a very familiar figure holding another farm tool has snuck up behind you!
He calls out to you:: "Yeh feckin' git ruined me"
"Battle me ye pussy!"
>The peasant from the beginning (probably with crushed balls) is back for revenge!!!
>What will you do???

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Sorry dudes gotta take another day off and have a pizza movie night with a buddy of mine.
Stay tuned for saturdays duel™!!

>>5376985
Have fun see ya soon

Also I think you may have missed our Boots purchase (-40 currencies)

>>5376983
"We shall fight, but with fists only! There's no need for either of us to get maimed. Now, throw down your weapon and come at me! If you refuse and still come after me with that sweet scimitar looking thing, I'll... I'll... Chop you in half with my axe!"

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>>5377016
Oh damn my bad.
>You suddenly remember buying waterproof boots!!!!
>You now canonically own 14 coins

Alright boys I have returned and currently developing an update. Should be updated within the next hour or so.

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>>5378683
I am a very smart man who doesnt forget images.

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You think on his words, thinking on what could transpire you say the following speech:
"We shall fight, but with fists only! There's no need for either of us to get maimed. Now, throw down your weapon and come at me! If you refuse and still come after me with that sweet scimitar looking thing, I'll... I'll... Chop you in half with my axe!"
His scowl grows larger at those words and he says.
"Yeh feckin' pussy, ye alreadee maimed me with yer legs, ye now hou' it feels ter piss neuw?!"
He walks a bit closer and you try to back away, he then starts screaming his own little monologue.
"Ye fecker ruined me darn life!!

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>>5378710
He continues stepping closer while screaming.
"Ye stealed me best steff, shid that me pops gave me when I was man big nuff' ter tatch me owh God Damned roof'."
"Ye 'now how fecking hard tis to work under the blasted sen wid no -5 sun stats under your head of yours you nanny suckling tit mongler!?"

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>>5378721
"Ye 'now how hard tis to pitch hay wid' no blessed pitchfork!??"
"Its so fookin' embarassin' ter com back to me home seyin' i have no more pitchfork to pitch me excretable hay!"
"Me own feckin' family, me one kiddos tha' I witness grew left me in shame"
It is now very clear that he will not fistfight you to release tensions, this man is clearly suicidal or desperate enough to kill you with his last sharp enough item.

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>>5378726
"Ye call'd me sickle a dern simi tarr???"
"Are ye a village tard? Ye clearly never fielded a days work in your pussi bean flickinth "life""
"Feck yer pussy fistfight, first ye blou me lil boys, ruin me, and nou ye wanna pummel me?"
"Feck yer pussy fistin', feck yer maimin cowshid, feck yer dull bloody chopper, feck YOU"
He charges at you with inhuman speed slashing around his Sickle.
>What will you do????

>>5378729
>OI! Piss off ye bloody wanker!
>Chop his scimitar-wielding arm off
>Proceed to taunt him for having no bollocks and playing a victim like a total bitch when his fockin woife left him, instead of doing something to keep her around

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>>5378710
picrel btw

>>5378730
+1
>fuck his wife also

>>5376985
>>5378684
Loved these, QM!
>>5378730
We have no other choice, but now i feel bad for him RIP

>>5378730
+1
Also tell him we sold his pitchfork and hat now he'll never get it back ahahaha

Ask where his wife and kids went and then pretend like we are interested in siring his children and plowing his wife. Then tell him just kidding, we'd like to return his family to him (but the pitchfork and hat are off the table, don't even think about asking for our boots), share a food ration with him if he calms down, he'll probably be hungry from having a limb chopped off.

>>5378736
>>5378954
>>5378985
Also keep in mind that pichforkless twat was hostile to us when we first met him. He can shove this pitiful moaning right up his arse and choke on a dick, like his wife did.

>>5379300
+1

>>5379301
That wasn't a vote anon, but I appreciate your support!

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>>5378736
thanks anon (:
Update coming within the hour by the way.

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The peasant keeps slashing and slashing towards you, At first his relentless attacks seem hard to keep up with as he gracefully lands a couple of scratches on your face as you desperately block off his attacks.
>-2 HP, 90 HP/112
However you notice that his slashes are actually very sloppy in execution. You have no doubt of his speed and strenght but his skill is quite lacking compared to those stats.
If you time it carefully....
You taunt him saying:
"OI! Piss off ye bloody wanker!"

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>>5379749
With that one liner said you land a strike on his hand!!!
Oh shit you nearly chopped his hand in half right on the spot! He seems so shocked that he cannot feel the horrid pain of being maimed.
Before he can react you slash once more....

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>>5379750
...And it lands true.

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>>5379754
This time he has not enough to cover the pain. He screams extremely loudly. By the sounds of it the pain is much worse than losing his manlyhood.
As his screams subside you give some very friendly jabs on his gineourmous ego.
You mock him for having no testicles, for being a complete an utter worthless piece of shit.
You remind him that it him that attack him first to begin with and to shove his pitiful moaning up his arsehole, like you will to his wife once you are finished.
You tell him its his fault that his wife left him and instead of whining he should have gotten her back.
You then proceed to tell him that you SOLD his hat and pitchfork and that he will never see those material items ever again.
You were about to tell him that you were kidding and willing to help out on his situation over a meal but...

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>>5379759
his chest ripped itself open

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>>5379761
He is still staring at you with the same anger in his eyes. He is still breathing, oh god his heart is still beating...
It has the shape of a heart instead of being anatomically correct...
His heart starts secreting a vile looking black smoke.
On closer observation it looks like his ribs have been swung open from before. Several layers of dried blood form around his ribs and organs as the smoke continues to secrete into a horrid human form.

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>>5379769
The form you witness before you is black, a shade of black reminding you of soot, petrol and pitch combined. It has a liquidy morphing apperance.
Its face seems to somewhat shape into a skull by the look of its eyesockets and nostril, although this shape morphs on the edges into a more rounded figure.
Its overall body seems to be starvingly skinny with hints of a skeleton portruding on its "skin".
The creature gives a heavy toned asthmatic breathing as it stares right at you.
Despite the figure forming on his chest, the peasant takes no notice and continues to stare right at you like if you had actually sodomized his wife.
The creature says in a heavy voice:
"Hello DillRick"
>What will you do.

>>5379773
Greet the creature in a friendly manner. He looks like a buddy

>>5379773
Eat a food ration to flex in front of the skinny poor boys lmao they can't into food and wealth like we can, we're very cool and they are not!

>>5379773
>"That's a dope looking form ye got there, watchu want?"

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Sorry guys I will have to delay until tomorrow due to domestic reasons.

>>5381645
>domestic reasons.
Please stop beating your mom/getting beat by your mom

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>>5381772
shut up I fell down the stairs.

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You greet the being back:
"Hello there, dope looking form ye got there, watchu want?"
"Just to speak" He replies with a wheeze.
He looks friendly enough at the moment, hell for all you know he could be a potential buddy. Not only that but he is clearly a very starving entity by its body type, with that in mind you take out your stale bread and put your string cheese in it just to casually brag your [13 COINS] wealth.
>Ate preserved meal you recuperated 5 hp!!! you now have 95/112 HP
>3 days worth of food left.
Seeing as you got comfortable he begins talking in several wheezes.
"You know, you have made my job much easier than expected"
You ask him what he means.
"This man that I am currently possesing... His name is Amaeur, in case you could not tell he is not from around here"
"Quite a sad tale but to put it brief he is shunned by his peers, despite that he has worked himself into owning land and a family in this area."
"He is still vulnerable though, very unsecure man that could have a very short fuse if he were to be pushed enough..."
"Speaking of which, did you know you are a very hateable man?"

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You notice his wheezing is deminishing as he continues.
"Despite appereances, he is a very resilient man. It would take the most horrible of things to happen to push him into a useful state"
"It was going waay to slowly, until you and your bad posture showed up. You remember that sob story he pulled up when he assaulted you?"
"Mere projections of the darkest corner in his imagination. I made his biggest fears into a reality"
"I have spent several months fueling him with the most horrid thoughts, every little slight, real or imagined was worsened by many times the worth of its word, this became much easier once I possesed his heart physically when he was incapacitated yesterday."

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>>5382688
"Ah I forgot to introduce myself, my name is Levsone, I am an entity summoned by Ashkanlez to... induct more people into his worthy cause"
"Dillrick, my friend. He is a man of not only great power but of great connection."
"You are a very capable man, and I am sure he will greatly reward you with Anything you could desire, especially more than what that lord offered. An axe? is that all he really gave you?"
"Please Dillrick, consider my invitation. We would be most honoured to server you."
>How do you reply to this very hinged being?

>>5382695
>Accept the invitation
>"I get anything I desire? How do you expect me to believe such honeyed words? *Notice his sweet black cloak that swirls with the pitch black fibres of tortured souls straight from the underworld* Hrmmm... If this is true, then I want a steed to ride, walking around everywhere stinks! If Ash Ketchum is as worthy and powerful a lord as you say, then he will provide me with a steed posthaste! Chop chop, where's my steed, Levsone?! Oh yeah... And I want a cloak like yours, too!"
A big part of me wants to chop his head off with the axe but I feel like this will be exponentially more entertaining

>>5382695
>Accept
>Say we could use a horse and good clothes.
Without being a demanding cunt, though. Hope he's actually friendly.
This quest is taking more kino directions each day.

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Incoming in a couple of hours, also i wont be available tomorrow due to pizza night reasons. Cya guys in saturdays update!
>Captcha RPGVHK

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>"I get anything I desire? How do you expect me to believe such honeyed words? *Notice his sweet black cloak that swirls with the pitch black fibres of tortured souls straight from the underworld* Hrmmm... If this is true, then I want a steed to ride, walking around everywhere stinks! If Ash Ketchum is as worthy and powerful a lord as you say, then he will provide me with a steed posthaste! Chop chop, where's my steed, Levsone?! Oh yeah... And I want a cloak like yours, too!"
You say all of that but without being a demanding cunt. He is just confused though.
He manages to wheeze out: "Is this mockery?, whom is this ash you speak of?
After taking a little breather he follows it up with the following: "You seem to have misunderstood, I cannot offer you anything right here and now. You will have to go to the swamp to speak to [ASHKANLEZ] (he said that in a higher tone)."
"I am sure he would be happy to provide the most hellish of horses and a hood to compare to my fabric veil of reality, just remember though, do not mistake his name and he is no lord, Merely a servant."
"Do not fret though, I do have something to offer you, remember good little Amaeur?"

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>>5383746
You see him standing up, he seems to have grown a horrid arm with a similar texture to Levsone's form, although a bit more fleshy. Several veiny portrutions hang from it and lashing semi-wildly.
His expression at the moment is blank, like he has been lobotomized.
Levsone starts speaking:
"I can offer him as a companion, naturally I will be tagging along since I am attached to him at the moment..."
"Do not worry he will Not be hostile, I have changed his memory of your face, hells he will be amiable towards you"
"Just a couple of ground rules, do NOT tell him that You were the man who kicked his testicles. Do NOT tell him of his predicament, he is preprogrammed to become hostile the moment you HINT that he might be delusional"
"By the way I am constantly warping his memory and his sense of reality so he might ramble about things that are not entirely true. Do feel to converse with him about it though, it helps make it feel real"

Will you let the possesed Amaeur tag along??
>The more the merrier :D
>Nah im good travelling alone :)
>Nah im good but die >:D (begin combat)

>>5383759
>>The more the merrier :D
Off to the swamp we go

>>5383759
>The more the merrier :D

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Sorry dudes, some very bad people gave me bad habits. Delay in update until tomorrow while I recover. Sorry for the long wait D:

>>5386436
Welcome to the club, just be grateful it's not heroin

Also what kind of pizza was there

>>5386447
Meatlovers of course.

>>5386436
>>5386447
>they bought the fucking alcohol meme
kek

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>>5386978
I am going to spite you by drinking double next weekend.
Update finally in progress, by the way sorry about the long waiting time, I personally hate when qm's take breaks unnanounced.

Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>5387652
unrelated roll (:

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After thinking for what feels like days, you decide to let the entity possesing the angry peasant accompany you. Hopefully for you he is not lying about him not recognising you.
You both steadily march along the dirt pathway towards the north as noon passes, you dont see anything in particular except some very skidish rabbits and deer, perphaps you could hunt for those later on.
With nothing in particular getting in your way you both make it to the river and cross through the waist deep channel, fortunately the stream here is gentle enough for you to cross in.
As you go on the foliage increases and whatever maintenance the road had going dissepears.

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>>5387677
As you continue in what feels like to be an endless forest, you hear Amaeur start muttering to himself louder, you can't make out what he is saying from a mix of his very exagerated accent/dialect and how incoherent his sentences are, like he himself is unsure of his own thoughts. Maybe you could try talking to him about it?
Anyways besides that there is a different feeling in the forest than what it was before. It is as if several more things are observing your movements... very closely.
>Bring up a topic of conversation with Amaeur?
>Naah he is fiiine

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>>5387678
So far it is noon, you will probably reach the outskirts of the swamp by the end of the day at this pacing.
However will something of a benine nature or something horrid get in your way??? Maybe nothing will?
>Roll 1d100
>1 Freak of nature will attack you
>2-10 Monster attack
>11-30 Hostile man encountered
>31-40 Nothing?
>41-70 Game hunting opportunities(Boar, deer etc)
>71-90 friendly traveler
>90-99 Treasure :D
>100 ???

Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>5387678
>Naah he is fiiine
And if not, it's hiiis problem
>>5387652
You can't spite me with self-harm, qm.
>I personally hate when qm's take breaks unnanounced.
Okay that's based.

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>5387652
honestly its all good, just dont suddenly disappear and we will still be happy
>>5387678
Nope, lets not poke the bear

Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>5387864
Ask Amauer
>Is the answer to this question 'no'?

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>>5387864
Cant hear you through the bottles
Memes aside Update is in the drawing phase.

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You reeally dont want to trigger him into a violent state so you think it is better to leave him alone.
You thought so but then you decide to mess with him.
"Hey Amaeur" you call.
As he gives you an EH you ask him "Is the answer to this question 'No'??"
"Neh" he responds.
Somehow that seems to calm him down slightly, even though he probably didnt get it. His whisepring grows quieter.

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>>5388573
SUDDENLY a friendly looking bearded forest guy appears in front of you!!!
He greets you and introduces himself as Filibert, he tells you that he would like to travel with you two ever since the roads have been becoming more dangerous due to...

>>5388576
Ah shit I'm in suspense...

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>>5388573
...Cultists.
Before you realize it, a group of three men sneaked to your front to confront you!
A hooded man with a wooden wand and tribal mask is flanked by 2 armed men who are tattoed in red and are wearing animal skins, for some reason one has a captured rabbit.
The robed magical looking man tells you in an elated tone "Ready to die?"

Unfortunately this combat encounter will have to be a cliffhanger, page 11 is coming up and I kind of need a little break. Thank you all for having me draw ms paint stuff, New thread this Friday!
Stay tuned for AdventureQuest™©!!!

>>5388586
Right on man! I'm glad you'll be continuing!

>>5388586
I'm glad you got it trademarked and copywrited

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>>5388586
Adventure Quest™©, you say?
>>5388550
lmao

>>5388991
Kek I was gonna post it

>no zards
Into the trash it goes