*** *** ***

Alongside its cinema, theatre, baseball field, and many other things, the Pet Cemetery district has a large Zoo: the Ant Eye. You have been here before with your sister, once, when your father was alive. Driving into an asphalt parking field, the agent’s automobile joined in with the few souls unfettered by either work or school to visit the zoological garden, the owner of each automobile more moneyed than the one before.

One Two nicked the notebook from your hands and placed it back in the glove box. He unlocked the door, oriented his fedora hat, and then left the car and you inside alone with your sister. Past the window, a lit cigarette appeared clenched between his teeth.

You heaved a sigh, knocking your head against the headrest and sinking into the sumptuous velvet.

“Elm’,” Mary said. As if still in shock, she didn’t move. You couldn’t even see her shape. “I have your heater, it’s in my pocket; take it before the G-man comes back.”

You followed her ask. Rummaging through the darkness, you felt the cold iron and familiar shape of the revolver you thought was lost. You returned it to your pocket.

“What did he do to you?” you asked after you made sure the gun was well-hidden.

“The fed touched me with his hands,” she gruffed. “Not like a lover, he just did put his hand on my neck and I couldn’t move anymore. That guy is not normal, Elm’.”

“Mary, that’s obvious.”

“I don’t know what we are doing here, thought,” Mary said biting her teeth. “And Elm’, you reek of giggle water. Were you out there getting drunk without me?”

You sighed, “As I said, I had to get rummy because Cass feeds on alcohol.”

“Elmer,” Mary paused, “what is going on? I can’t remember the last time you have been this proactive. Did that thing wash your brain?"

> Admit the truth secretly to Mary.
> Keep Mary in the dark.
> [Write In]

> Tell Mary that once it rains tonight, Cass will be able to escape, and there won’t be any reason for One Two to keep you with him.
> Tell Mary that you just wanted to help Cass because she was stranded alone, and nobody deserves to be tortured-tested by the federals.
> Tell Mary that you are dependent on by Cass, and while you would prefer to just drink and brew, you can’t help but offer her your help.
> [Write In]

___________________________
> UPDATES?
Once a day if I can.
> PREVIOUS THREADS?
https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=The%20Drunkard%20And%20The%20Alien%20Quest
> OTHER QUESTS?
https://pastebin.com/raw/7uyemPdY

>>5439484
> Tell Mary that you just wanted to help Cass because she was stranded alone, and nobody deserves to be tortured-tested by the federals.

> Keep Mary in the dark about the truth: you're worried that, now that you're witnesses, turning Cass over wouldn't save you anyway.

>>5439493

You decided to keep Mary in the dark about the fact that you didn’t surrender Cass intentionally. You could explain yourself in a better place, at a better time. Now that both you and she were witnesses, turning Cass wouldn’t have given you any guarantees.

“I just wanted to help, Mary; she needed help. She was stranded here, and what do you think the feds will do to her once she's caught? Test, torture, maybe worse?”

“Nothing that should be our concern.”

You sighed. You looked away to where One Two went.

“It shouldn’t be your concern, no. I’m sorry for dragging you into this.”

“Elm’, between us two, you’re the one who never leaves the house, who never interacts with Compostela’s sort. It’s your safety I’m worried about.”

“This is more than either of us can chew.” You looked up at the clouded sky; if only it would rain, then it would be so simple! “Let’s agree to stay safe, both of us.”

“She roughened you up a tad,” Mary said. “The agent best deal with her quick, on the spot, or I’ll get ahead of him and beat the living daylight out of it instead.”

Mary wouldn’t trust you blindly, but with her sapped languid body, and how dark it was inside the car, it seemed that she -was- deceived.

Not too soon, One Two came back. His head veiled by the white cigarette smoke, he stepped inside the car and locked the door, waking up the engine from its very short nap. Leaving the parking space, the automobile rolled into the pedestrian road and through the wrought gateway into the zoo. Peeking at you from the booth was a pale-faced cashier—a teenager. The boy was gripping his brown hat—wiggling cardboard antennae attached to the top of it—to his chest with his entire body shaking. In the rearview mirror, you saw him run outside and begin closing the entrance gate.

You passed by captured beasts and visitors yet unaware of their imprisonment until the car stopped in front of another gate, as large and as tall as the entrance. In front of it, a clean-shaven man was wearing a homburg fedora and a thick dark-grey coat. Noticing the slowing automobile, he stiffened his back and went to approach it.

“Fellas, this wing of the Zoo is private,” he said with a snarl, “I don’t know why you are here in your fancy car but that’s not a ticket inside. Go and look at the ants.”

One Two checked his watch, looked up at the sky, and then back at the stonewalling man. He opened the door and, leaving it so, he stood up to meet the man’s glare. “You will have to make an exception for us, this is where I believe it fell.”

He blinked. “What fell? What the hell are you talking about? I don’t care who you are: a copper, a mayor, or a fed’. This place is off limits.” He raised his gun. “Get lost.”

One Two strolled forward—with fingers of his right hand he was massaging the palm of his left one. Abashed, the man backed away. He corked the hammer and clenched the trigger with his index finger, pressing the gun a foot or two from the agent’s face. One Two took another step, and the man pulled the trigger.

As you blinked and flinched, the agent’s body twitched and repositioned on the man’s right flank. The shot rang like an annoying chirping bird, and then fell into silence, replaced by a blunt dull sound of a fallen body. One Two overlooked the collapsed man and then clothed back the white glove he, it seemed, took off to stun him.

He searched around the man’s pockets and then returned to the automobile.

“He didn’t have a key, and the lock is too thick to break,” he said monotonously. He then became silent. Was he thinking of a solution, or waiting for a suggestion?

> Tell him about the revolver you have. Use it to shoot—to try and break—the gate’s lock.
> Tell him it’s not a problem, the shot has been quite loud. People inside the private wing will probably come and open the gate to check.
> Suggest he climbs the fence and enters the private wing of the Zoo that way. You and Mary will wait for him here.
> Suggest that he smashes the gate with his automobile. Unlike the fences, it’s not buried. He’ll have to wreck his car … his problem.
> Remain silent and let One Two do the thinking. You don’t even want to be here.
> [Write In]

>>5441415
>> Tell him it’s not a problem, the shot has been quite loud. People inside the private wing will probably come and open the gate to check.

>>5441415
> Tell him it’s not a problem, the shot has been quite loud. People inside the private wing will probably come and open the gate to check.
>He COULD climb the fence, though, if he wants to be sure.

>>5442279
>>5442359

“It shouldn’t be a problem,” you said. You slid a finger into your ear, “The shot has been quite loud. If there are people inside, they’ll come and open the gate to check on the body.”

“That person is not dead, Elmer Briant.” One Two stated as if defending himself from your accusations. He stared at the closed gate. “There’s no guarantee that there are people inside, perhaps—likely—is that he is on permanent guard duty, regardless if the person with the key is available or not.” His empty gaze surveyed the black wrought gate. “The gap between the fence posts (it looked wide enough to push through with one’s hand); would your Cass, or a creature similar to it, be able to enter through the gate ... or escape from within?” he asked. Sitting stoic and expressionless, he kept both of his hands on the rigid steering wheel. His head remained unturned towards you or Mary.

> Tell One Two the truth: yes, with how easily she can reshape her body, Cass would easily be able to slide in, or outside.
> Lie to One Two: Cass can manipulate and reshape her body, yes, but only to a certain extent, and the space between the fence posts is too narrow.
> Mention to One Two that there are people in the Zoo and that they might show interest in the origin of the gunshot—a bothersome interest.
> [Write In]

>>5442899
>I'm not sure, but she probably could squeeze in and out of there. Never saw her squeeze through a space that narrow. You should climb the fence and check it out! We'll wait here.

>>5442954

“I’m not sure,” you went with a half-baked answer, “but she probably could squeeze in and out of there.” You leaned your head against the windscreen and put an open palm to your temple. “I never -seen- her squeeze through a space that narrow, however, but she’s quite pliable.”

“That leaves my question unanswered,” One Two said. He stepped out of the car and finished smoking his cigarette until the filter tip burned.

“You should climb over the gate and check it out! We’ll wait here for you.”

One Two tucked his hat and then adjusted his pristine white tie. He nodded, and, leaving the door on the driver’s side half-opened, he approached the towering obstruction. He stopped and then turned around. Raising his hand, he pointed at you and then motioned his finger away to the side.

You looked to where he was pointing: an empty sandy pathway between two caged enclosures with no animals in sight. Huh? Just as quick, you looked back. Already, One Two stood on the opposite side of the gate, his figure concealed by the iron Venetian blinds. He left.

“What the hell just happened?” Mary said, her voice filled with confusion and disbelief.

“I don’t have an explanation either,” you said. You tapped the revolver’s wooden grip to make sure it would take you at least half as quick to reach.

There was a five-minute respite until your sister no longer could handle the silence: “Why didn’t you leave that slime thing with Cleopatra?”

“Long story short, she and One Two worked together once upon a time, and he visited her the moment you left. It wasn’t safe for her to stay there.”

“It wasn’t -safe-, Elm’?” Mary forced her shoulder to turn and lean closer. “Who cares? It wasn’t what you promised me, you realize?”

You sighed. You couldn’t tell Mary the truth; at least not right then. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not important for One Two either—he took us on a detour to a Zoo, who knows” —you knew— “where Cass will be if we’ll spend here half an hour or an hour. The only reason he would do that is … ”

Mary took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “Perhaps he’s thinking that thing is not the only one of its kind. Sure, there was a falling dot, but how can he be so sure it landed here, and in this exact place?” She furrowed her brows and glared at the gate. “Why would someone own a private Zoo, Elm’?”

That was a good question, a question you had no answers for.

From the overgrowth of bushes and the fog of sand and dust raised by the sudden breeze appeared a man wearing a slim plaid suit with scintillating cufflinks and an unlit cigar and a woman in a crimson-black dress and a frilly scarf. The woman held the man’s elbow in a tight grip. The two of them stopped a visible distance away from One Two’s Fort Model A, glancing from behind it at the collapsed body. They exchanged glances and began to talk—not loud enough for you to hear their words.

> Continue sitting in the car and waiting for One Two to return.
> Ignore the annoying couple and continue talking with Mary instead (about?).
> Push on the horn to scare the annoying couple away.
> [Write In]

>>5443912
> Ignore the annoying couple and continue talking with Mary instead
>>We could make a break for it

>>5443927
Update tomorrow, apologies.

>>5445012
De nada, campadre.

>>5443927

Your eyes faltered away from the couple. “What if we made a break for it?” you asked.

Mary deepened her grunt and, with a deadpan voice, sassed, “A few hours ago I couldn’t even move my head, or mouth to talk, Elm’; as soon as we left the repair shop. It’s better now, but if I would try to walk, I’d probably collapse. I’m not going to be much of a use in the next couple of hours.”

“If you could move, you wouldn’t be against it?”

“No, Elm’, I wouldn’t be. I don’t care about either the slime or the G-man. He’s not going to follow us If he has a lead, and that’s good enough for me.”

The dressed-up strangers curved the automobile and approached the body skewered by the sharp shadow of the gate; they kept a distance of a dozen feet. The woman tossed a worrying glance at you and the car and then, pursing her lips, squeezed the arm of her husband or lover and looked at the unconscious man. She began to talk, and, perhaps unknown to them, her voice was close enough for you to hear.

“Is he dead?” she asked the obvious.

The man nodded, paused, and then shook his head. He bit into the cigar. “It isn’t obvious. There was a gunshot but I don’t see any blood on him.”

“Kitty, this part of the Zoo, there are rumours that it belongs to the D’Addario Family, do you know?”

“I-I’ve heard,” he said, stuttering. His eyes jumped from the body to the car—there and back—until they foundered onto your glare. With shuddering fingers, he picked the cigar out of his mouth and clenched it in his hand. He cleared his throat and then turned away from the gate. The woman winced as he, with force, pulled her arm. “I think I remember where those hippos were! Come, let’s go check them out.”

The couple ran away from your gaze and earshot, shouting about their plans and their next whereabouts,

“This park belongs to your fellas, Elm’?”

You clenched your wrists. “D’Addarios are not ‘my fellas’, Mary."

“Don’t sell yourself short, brother, those two goons of theirs coming for their wares are always happy with what you brew.”

“That doesn’t mean anyone else cares to remember my name, or knows my face.”

Mary raised her arm like it was a rusted seesaw. Biting her lip, she waved her hand and then let it fall on your seat’s neck. “You won’t get in trouble if they’ll see you.”

“That’s—”

From inside the private Zoo echoed a second shot, and then, like the rest of the flock of birds disturbed by the same stone, a resonance of shots followed in pattern.

> Sit patiently in the car and wait.
> Ask Mary for instructions and, then, if you can, drive the car away from the gate.
> Step away from the car and approach the gate to check if you can see anything inside.
> [Write In]

>>5445541
> Ask Mary for instructions and, then, if you can, drive the car away from the gate.

>>5445541
>> Ask Mary for instructions and, then, if you can, drive the car away from the gate.

Apologies for the silence. I have been thinking over on how to progress with this quest. Before there was a response to the latest update, I was in a way happy that I could put it aside and try something else. I don't know if this is going to sound haughty of me but this quest is not popular, and I'm uncertain if it would be a good idea to dedicate several months until it reaches its conclusion, and that's how long it'll potentially take in the ending I envision. I know how the players hate to dedicate their time and interest just to have the QM flake. Sorry. Please share your thoughts on this.

>>5449019
Our thoughts are unimportant. If you don't enjoy writing it, quality will suffer and updates will slow, making it unfun for everyone. I like it and wish it would reach a conclusion, but it makes no sense to try to guilt you into it.

That said, if you write quests for you rather than for (you)s, you may find it's more fun no matter how many readers and voters you get. Just my personal experience, there. There were many threads of my last quest where only a couple people reliably voted, but I still had a good time because I liked the characters and the story I was telling.

>>5449019

What this guy said. >>5449038
You gotta be the guy enjoying it if you want to continue. Do what you want and make sure you enjoy doing it, fren.

We should still archive this thread probably, eh? Was good while it lasted.

>>5449038
>>5449048
>>5451809

I have decided to pause thread. I was debating about archiving this very short thread or, to simply post all the story updates in a new one before the next update once I'll try to continue it. I am going to run another thread that I'll hope to be more fun for me and the players. See you soonish; thanks for playing.

>>5451948
I meant *quest, not thread.

>>5451948
I'd archive it just in case.

>>5452072
You think so?

>>5453158
Yeah. It's good stuff, and there's no reason to repost it all when you can just link the archive if you return to it.

if you don't, we'll at least have everything that was written.

>>5449019
>Please share your thoughts on this.
What do you think went wrong and how do you plan to fix it on your next quest so it doesn't reach the same point? You don't have to share the answer, but you have to have an answer before you start a new quest.

>>5455521
I am doing some reflections, how did you guess!
I was wondering if there are some suggestions any of you can offer to improving (from players' perspective)?

>>5456084
I only really read the first thread then just lost interest. I kept the newest thread on my watcher for a while now but never got around to actually reading more until I saw that you were ending it.

I could say more about why I dropped, but you really aren't going to like it and I'd like you to confirm that you want to hear it.

File: Larry the fish ....png (143 KB, 750x500)

143 KB PNG

>>5456455
Please be brutally honest with your answer. I am double curious because you dropped on the first thread. If you think it could be useful and apply for other QMs, consider posting it in the QTG. Was it the because of the fickle updating? The heavy text? The weak prompts?

>>5456803
No, I don't think it could apply to other QMs. Fickle updating is the norm in /qst/, it didn't bother me. I like the way you write, so it wasn't the heavy text either. The weak prompts did bother me and is something that could be done better, but that wasn't why I wasn't interested enough to continue.

The reason is that I wasn't getting what I wanted out of the quest. I'm a waifufag. This quest is something that should appeal to my sensibilities, right? But I didn't find the waifu appealing at all. She wasn't cute, she was barely a character, she acted more like a pet than a waifu and the MC's attachment to her did not read as romantic in any way. That last part was a problem in your previous quest too (that I read in the archives), since the apprentice's attachment to his dwarven master came across as nothing more than a childish crush that he'd grow out of.

tl;dr: You didn't sell me on the waifu and that's the most important part.

>>5457029
I actually agree! I liked this quest and Apprentice & Dwarf, but I liked Vera and Cleo more as romantic options than Carinda and Cass. It didn't break either quest for me, though. I was in it for your great worldbuilding and fun storytelling, QM.

>>5456803
You're too hard on yourself about your update schedule, though. You're one of the more reliable QMs I follow.

>>5457029
>>5457032
Interesting, but I had a doubt already that that was the case. I would debate regarding Carinda but I agree that Cass is far out there, especially with her inability to communicate. I agree with you that the waifu in a waifuquest is the most important part, and I'll have to work on it if my next quest is another waifuquest. I shouldn't really make the side-characters more interesting that the waifu, I assume, although I try to make all of my characters quirky in some way or another. Perhaps I should let players assist me in creating-evolving the waifu character in some way, by deciding her personality or whatelse?

>>5457280
Oh, Carinda was a fine waifu. I'm sure Cass had potential, too. I think they both work as characters. Julian and Elmer just had more chemistry with the ither characters.

>>5457280
No, that won't work at all. What you need to do to make an appealing waifu in my experience is:
A) Find her appealing yourself..
B) Show your players WHY you find her appealing so that they find her appealing too.
and simultaneously
C) Show why your MC finds her appealing.
D) Show why SHE finds the MC appealing.

There was nothing fundamentally wrong with either Carinda or Cass as waifus. You just failed to make me, the player, see what you saw in them.

In Carinda's case, you showed THAT the MC found her appealing, but not really WHY he found her appealing. He knew almost nothing about her, they barely interacted in the entire quest and she did very little to show herself worthy of love. Therefore, his attraction to her came as little more than a childish crush to an authority figure, similar to a schoolboy crushing on his teacher. And correspondingly, there was no hint whatsoever of her returning that attraction at all. Their few interactions mostly showed her humouring the boy and trying not to crush his heart with the truth.

And in Cass's case, you failed in all of these things. Cute, alien waifu that needs to hide from the law is a fine concept. There have been more than one anime with that exact concept. But I have no idea what makes Cass appealing, what you saw in her or what the MC saw in her. She was just a random blob, a slime, that did random things for no rhyme or reason. What was she as a character? What does she like, what does she dislike? What's her personality like? Why do YOU like her? I gave you an entire thread to begin answering those questions and there wasn't even a hint of an answer. So I lost interest. The apprentice's quest to impress a dour paladin and become a master smith was interesting even outside the nonexistence of the waifu as an important character. The drunkard's quest to save the waifu from the law requires me to care for the waifu and I didn't. No more than I'd care about a rare pet that's being hunted by poachers.

>>5457493
I feel like QM was beginning to establish her now, with the dream sequence.