>>5681084
>Ask to be let in. You're thirsty and you would really rather get to finding Salvatore sooner than later, and your best bet is right here.
And so the chef returns

>>5681084
>Ask to be let in. You're thirsty and you would really rather get to finding Salvatore sooner than later, and your best bet is right here.
Welcome back

>>5681084
>>Ask to be let in. You're thirsty and you would really rather get to finding Salvatore sooner than later, and your best bet is right here.
thought you were a goner

>>5681084
>Ask to be let in.
Welcome back. Also should we try to sell the humans a pizza for a few pints of blood or something?

>>5681084
>Ask to be let in. You're thirsty and you would really rather get to finding Salvatore sooner than later, and your best bet is right here.
We're so back.

>>5681084
>>Ask to be let in. You're thirsty and you would really rather get to finding Salvatore sooner than later, and your best bet is right here.

>>5681084
>Ask to be let in. You're thirsty and you would really rather get to finding Salvatore sooner than later, and your best bet is right here.
We should tell them we are a pizzabot. If they are true New New Yorkers they should welcome us.

>>5681084

>>5681178
>>5681194
>>5681297
>>5681331
>>5681369
>>5681374
>>5681439
Nodding, you put your finger to the intercom with a tentative “H̶̫͙̋͝e̸̗̪͛͝l̴̖̆ͅl̷̹̜̑ỏ̴̬͍̓?̶̧̈́” It comes out a little… screechier than you meant. Consequences of unrepaired damage, you suppose, not to mention just how thirsty you are.

You wait, with no reply.

“E̶̩̓r̴̖̍m̵̘͌.̷̖͗.̴̢́.̵̳̆ ̵̨̍H̵͍͑é̴͔-̶̔”

“Fuck off! We don’t want your kind here, you fucking rustbucket!”

“Ċ̸̯a̸̙n̷̘̑ ̴̠͂y̵̖̚o̴̩͊u̷̱͆ ̸̰̄l̴͉̈́e̸̻͛t̸̮͝ ̷͕̆m̶͎̎ë̷͖ ̷͎̔i̴̭͗ṋ̵̈́?̸̺͊ ̷̘̾Í̴̤'̷̙̏m̵̛̱ ̷̫̃l̸͔̍o̴̺͛ǒ̶͚k̴̜̎í̵̜ǹ̶̩ḡ̶͇ ̷͖̌f̴͕̽o̸͉͘r̶͉̄ ̸̤͌ā̸͙ ̶̦́f̶̬͗r̶̯̈́i̵̝͐e̵͉͠n̴͖͒d̸̙̕ ̵͍̍ó̵̤-̸̖͊”

“Leave before I fucking turn you into scrap you fucking fucker!”

You can’t tell whether he’s bluffing or not. Those turrets tracked real slow, and the big ones didn’t even bother following you. That normally indicates a lack of power, but it might also mean that they’re just keeping it routed elsewhere when there’s no big threat.

>Offer to trade him a pizza for entry. You don’t know too much about down here, but you DO know that it seems like good food is rare.
>Offer some scrap for entry. That’s worth its weight in gold, if you’ve got machinery to keep running.
>Try and convince him using words. Surely, diplomacy can work out?
>Just leave, you don’t want to risk it.
>Well, you do have a giant pizzacutter, and this door does look pretty flimsy…

>>5684644
>>Just leave, you don’t want to risk it.

>>5684644
>Offer to trade him a pizza for entry. You don’t know too much about down here, but you DO know that it seems like good food is rare.

This is literally what we're made for. Serving pizza to customers!

>>5684644
>Offer to trade him a pizza for entry. You don’t know too much about down here, but you DO know that it seems like good food is rare.

>>5684644
>Offer to trade him a pizza for entry. You don’t know too much about down here, but you DO know that it seems like good food is rare.

>>5684644
>Offer to trade him a pizza for entry. You don’t know too much about down here, but you DO know that it seems like good food is rare.

>>5684644
>Offer to trade him a pizza for entry. You don’t know too much about down here, but you DO know that it seems like good food is rare.

>>5684644

>>5684700
>>5684962
>>5684965
>>5685000
>>5685143
>>5685212
“.̶͈͌.̴̪̪̈́.̶͈͋ ̵̟̔I̵͍͇͌̀ ̸̼̠͐̾h̵͇͇̚ǎ̵̱v̵͙͆e̵̥͔͒̏ ̷̨̊̈͜p̵̪̾͐i̷̝̩̎͝z̴̛̮͋ź̸̦̻a̵̭͒?̴̮́”

Near instantly, a second voice comes on the com.

“Yoooo man, hold up. I haven’t had anything but bread for the last week, so, couldn’t we, like, give this bot a chance, you feel maaaan?”

“NO! You fucking moron! You got killed by a fucking robot didn’t you?!?!”

“Yeah but he didn’t have a pizza, man.”

“Fuck YOU! We are NOT letting this FuCK in!”

“Screw you, man. I’m getting the boss!”

“FUCK!”

After more cursing than you care to mention (seemingly the only word this poor bastard knows is “fuck,” which you wince at. You appreciate creativity in your cursing), the voice of someone who is presumably important comes on the com.

“Alright. What do you want? You got Terry in a fit, so make this quick.”

“I̶̝͌'̵̻̾m̶̧͘ ̴͕͝l̴͘͜o̷̊ö̴̮ḱ̶̢ì̵̼n̵̝͒g̶̪̀ ̸͙̈́f̵̖͛ő̶̱ř̶͜ ̴̥͛a̵͈̕ ̵̨̂c̵̘͋o̴̻̎ų̵̛ṗ̵̜l̷̘̀ĕ̶̩ ̷̝̄ǫ̵̐f̸̧͑ ̶̢̚f̷̰̎ȑ̴̠i̵̬̊e̸̺̾n̵̜̄ḑ̵̑ş̴̃ ̶̦̕o̴̯̍f̶͈͗ ̶̯̈m̶̫̎i̸͕̇n̸̠͑ê̴͓.̴̹̒ ̷̺́I̴̺̎ ̶̢̃ḩ̸͒ą̵̾ṽ̴͕ȩ̵ ̷̦̓r̴̝̕ḙ̷̾a̷̬͑s̶̻̚ő̷̡n̶̪̾ ̷̼̿t̷͕̚ọ̷͝ ̵̹̋b̴̡͠ȇ̷l̴̯̓i̵̜͝e̴̟̍v̸͎̈́e̴̻͐ ̸͕̑ț̵̔h̶̥̑a̶̮͒ẗ̴̯́ ̸̯̕t̸̫̏h̶̳́e̴̙͠ ̵͇̐r̴̮̿e̴̮̚c̴̣̀o̵͇̔r̷̨̿ḏ̷͛s̵̜̑ ̵́ͅi̵ͅn̶̦͊ ̷̻̀t̷́͜ĥ̷̯ẹ̷̄ ̷͈͘Ĺ̷͚C̶̱͠C̸̤̈́À̸ͅ ̷̬͐c̵͍͋ả̸̤n̸̪̏ ̶̢̈́h̸͎̐e̶̜͂ḻ̶̕p̵̥̒ ̷̞͂m̴̨͊e̷̱͝ ̵̖̃f̴͔̾i̴̿ͅn̷͒d̴͚͌ ̷̺̈́t̷̩́h̵̫͂è̶̢m̸̝͝.̶̮̀ ̶̙̓Ǎ̵͔ṉ̷̉d̷̼́,̷̞͊ ̶͖̐b̷̞̚e̶̜͝ÿ̵͓́o̶̕n̷̺̄d̶̙̐ ̶̥͌t̷̙́h̷̗̽a̶̭̐t̶̳̿,̸̜̇ ̴͎̊Ï̶̱ ̴̩̀ẅ̷̠́o̷̗̕ũ̵̫l̶̾͜d̶̗͂ ̷̞͠l̷͍̓i̷̢͝k̸̝̃ê̶͇ ̸̳̓t̷̞o̶̫͠ ̸̥̉g̵͔̀e̷̪͂ṱ̴ ̵̠͗a̸̮͛l̴͚͆l̴̯͝ ̸̧͋t̵̝̉ḥ̵͆ĕ̴ ̷̼͝ṕ̸͜a̷͇͐p̸͉͋e̷̬͗r̴̭̀w̸̰̔ȏ̸̥r̷̠̍k̴͉͌ ̵̛͎i̶̜̾n̶̺͌v̸̤̋o̷̬̽ľ̴̮v̴͉̕ē̵̟d̸̪̎ ̵̤̒f̴̯̈́i̶͖̓l̴̼͋l̵̳̕e̶̺̓d̸̡̑ ̷̜̿o̸͔̓ù̵͕t̴̢̓.̶̇ ̶̯̔I̸̬͝t̸̫̆'̷̘̔d̴̹̆ ̸͜͝m̴̰̔â̴̮k̴̗̐e̷͘ ̶̣̉ì̵t̵͉́ ̷͇̽ẻ̷ͅa̷̜͛s̵̹̈i̸̭͌e̷̛͖r̸͖̔ ̸͍͐o̴̩̍n̵̡̆ ̴̜̂a̸̯̓l̸̖l̵͔̊ ̶͙̕i̴͎͆ǹ̴v̴̥̀ő̵̼l̷͍̿v̴̪̽e̵̫̿d̸̼̆,̶̨̿ ̵̹͑n̵̨̎o̵͉͌?̸̐ͅ”

1/2

>>5691255
“... Sounds fair enough. Here’s the deal. I’m sending Antonius and Finn down. They will be holding a set of robes and guns. You will put on the cloak and leave your weapons by the door, and they will keep the guns on you at all times while they take you to get processed. You will fill out all the paperwork at station 9, with clerk 14. She’ll overlook your… peculiarities, while you get put in the system. Then, you will take your papers, and your ingredients, and you will go to the floor 65, block 7-B security lounge. There, you will make us a pizza while I get you the info you need. Antonius and Finn will then escort you back out. You will follow their every instruction, or you’ll be shot. You will not try to escape them, or attack them, or you’ll be shot. You will not speak unless spoken to, and you won’t even so much as oil yourself, or You. Will. Be. Shot. Is this clear, machine?”

2/2

>”C̸̟̿r̷̢͗ÿ̷̨s̶̩͊ẗ̷̫́ã̷̖l̴̨̎.”
>”C̸̟̿r̷̢͗ÿ̷̨s̶̩͊ẗ̷̫́ã̷̖l̴̨̎.” (lying)
>”T̸͈͊h̸̖́a̸̠͗t̴̠̄'̶̨̉s̵̮̐ ̷̖͂ã̶̙ ̸̥̚h̸̩̒a̶̘̾r̶̥͝ḋ̸͙ ̵̖̐d̸̝͐ë̶̙a̸͈͆l̴̬̆.̵̖͊ ̵͔̿I̵̼̊'̸̻͂ṃ̷̒ ̶̪͛g̶̞̊o̵̱͌í̸̠n̸̫̍g̷͈͊ ̸͕̒t̷̛͔ọ̶̈́ ̸̣͒h̷̫͒a̵͚͊v̴̝́ȇ̷͕ ̸͉̂t̶̘̆o̷̞͛ ̸͓̆ṕ̵͈a̴̪̔s̷̩͌s̴̞̽.̴̣̕”

>>5691257
>C̸̟̿r̷̢͗ÿ̷̨s̶̩͊ẗ̷̫́ã̷̖l̴̨̎

>>5691257
>”C̸̟̿r̷̢͗ÿ̷̨s̶̩͊ẗ̷̫́ã̷̖l̴̨̎.”

>>5691257
>”C̸̟̿r̷̢͗ÿ̷̨s̶̩͊ẗ̷̫́ã̷̖l̴̨̎.”

>>5691257
>”C̸̟̿r̷̢͗ÿ̷̨s̶̩͊ẗ̷̫́ã̷̖l̴̨̎.”

>>5691257
We should really get some blood.

>>5691259
>>5691295
>>5691311
>>5692278

>>5692284
You're not wrong.

“Pleasure doing business with you.”

There you stand for the next ten minutes, awaiting your escort. It doesn’t escape you that the small turrets are still tracking you, or at least haven’t moved away from you.

With a doo-[i]doo-dee[/i] and a flash of green at the light next to the intercom, the doors open revealing, rather surprisingly, only one person. Wait, no, it is two people you realize, they’re just in the same body. Although from the waist down they’re relatively normal, if large, from the waist up they’re a mishmash of limbs and torso and head, one on the shoulder and another in the stomach, in some places skin stretched so tight over muscle and bone you’d fear it would burst (for in one or two places it has, and been patched up with metal), and in others hanging loose, blending in with their clothes. They hold an [i]impressively[/i] large shotgun in two of their three arms, and in a third, stunted arm, they hold a voluminous hooded cloak. They also have a small, long-barreled piston in a holster.

[i]“You will put this on, and cover yourself fully.”[/i]/[b]”Hello, can you please unload your weapons?”[/b]

You unload your weapons, from the smallest knife to your mighty Giga-Cutter, which raises some eyebrows. Exactly three, to be specific, the amount that they have. You leave them by the door, while they make sure that you aren’t hiding anything.

The cloak, big as it is, manages to cover you up from head to foot. You can’t say that you don’t look a little suspicious, but considering your escort’s appearance, you’ll probably go… well, not unnoticed, but likely unremembered. Once the cloak is out of their hands, they draw their pistol and flick the safety off, pointing it at you.

[i]“You will enter now.”[/i]/[b]”You can go in now.”[/b]

Entering the door with Antonius and Finn at your back leads to dim metal halls, clearly meant for maintenance, with exposed wires and pipes above you and regular doors leading off to other areas. Every so often, there’s a dip and rise in the tunnel, and the pipes make way for reinforced concrete above you. Maybe that’s where the actual paths are?


In any case, eventually you come to a door labelled “Reception.”

[i]“Go right.”[/i]/[b]”The right, please.”[/b]

1/?

>>5696945

Following their order, you enter a hallway, quickly moving to what’s clearly the reception lobby, being a larger sibling to the one you saw at the Limbo-Orpheus gate. There are many doors, all with an LED sign showing what station they lead to. Many are closed, and the room is nearly empty of visitors. You feel that, normally, you’d end up waiting here for quite a long time to hear your name called, but you’re ushered towards station 9. Inside is practically a smaller version of the previous room, although the doors are replaced with counters. Thankfully, they’re all occupied, either with paperwork or with a visitor.

Clerk 14 makes it obvious why she was chosen to receive you. With her nose in a newspaper, she barely gives you a glance before shoving an immense stack of papers at you. You shuffle through them before finding the forms for petitions and ID, filling them out to the best of your ability. The thumbprint is a little awkward, considering that your thumbs are entirely metal, but you make do. So is the photo, considering you have to set it up yourself, but she doesn’t even notice when Antonius and Finn motion to take your hood off for the camera. Guess having an ID wouldn’t do any good if it doesn’t depict your true face.

[i]Still[/i] not even looking at you, she stamps your petition to travel through Hell while your ID prints, before sliding both towards you, the latter on a lanyard labeled ‘Guest Pass: Indefinite Stay’

The only thing she says the entire time is “Have a nice visit, Mr. Marzano,” before Antonius and Finn throw your hood back on and you’re on your way out, powerwalking back through the lobby, to the staircase and elevators.

[i]“You will go into the cargo elevator.”[/i]/[b]”Would you mind heading to the stairs?”[/b]

Both heads look at each other, locked in silent argument.

[i]“You will decide.”[/i]/[b]”Your choice, then.”[/b]

They seem to have made it your choice.

2/2

>The elevator’s quicker and less work…
>... But the stairs appeal to your sense of paranoia.

>>5696947
>>The elevator’s quicker and less work…

>>5696947
>The elevator’s quicker and less work…
We're running near empty, gotta conserve that energy.

>>5696947
>The elevator’s quicker and less work…
Famous last words lol

>>5696947
>The elevator’s quicker and less work…
>Comment on how you're excited to ride your first elevator.
Kind of funny how we're basically the only robot to come in through natural means instead of through a hellevator

>>5696947

>>5696963
>>5697045
>>5697188
>>5697198
You motion with a wrapped hand to the cargo elevator, which is probably big enough to fit a tank in it. Certainly, it’d be easier on your energy and take less time.

Stepping in with Antonius and Finn at your back, they press the button and motion for the three of you to rotate such that you all face the door and they can keep their guns on you. Following their instructions, you stand there for some time, watching the number on the floor screen slowly, [i]slowly[/i] rise. Yes, this was the right choice.

Eventually, blessedly, you reach floor 65. When the doors open, you’re a little shocked to see a cobblestone road, next to carefully trimmed grass and well groomed gardens in front of cozy cottages and comfortable townhouses. Above the sun- wait, no, [b]not[/b] the sun, a screen displaying a faux sky overhead, shines bright. No building reaches more than 5 stories (although there is some scaffolding that reaches the ceiling, likely for maintenance), and almost all that do are near the center of each ever so slightly different area, rising up in height and sloping back down steadily like rows of shark teeth. You’d be totally lost in the grid, if not for the tastefully decorated street signs, your prior experience traversing New York, and your ‘kind’ escort’s directions. In other words, there’s no way you’re getting lost. Although Block 7-B’s streets are only a couple of steps from deserted, it fails to escape your notice that Antonius and Finn have put their pistol away and stopped pointing their shotgun at you, letting it rest from its sling.

Arriving at the security building, which looks to resemble a church complete with a bell, moreso than a police station or military garrison.

Entering the building, you see the lobby is empty but for one bored receptionist. She points towards the stairs, saying “Don’t be shy, they’re waiting. You know how hard it is to get good pizza down here?” Pretty hard, apparently.

1/2

>>5704510
When you reach the top of the stairs, there is a door, which Antonius and Finn lock behind all of you. Before you is a hall, and at the end of the hall is the lounge. You don’t need to be told twice to head that way.

When the door swings open, the ghastly-yet-familiar sight of a dozen people gathered around a table for pizza awaits you. Eh, you’ve served uglier.

They haven’t noticed you yet, and before they do you’re pulled to the side.
“Their names, Machine. And which one’s more important. There’s only so much influence I can use up for this.”

>Salvatore. He wasn’t that bad a kid, so you’re somewhat at a loss at where to find him. However, you’re certain that unless he killed someone without you or Antonio noticing, then he’s probably doing… fine.
>Antonio. You already have a rough idea of where he is, but confirmation would speed your passage from a methodical search of every layer he might be in (You know him to be a man of MANY vices, although good at heart. You feel that he’s probably not having the best time of it because of that) to a glorified hike.

>>5704511
>>Salvatore. He wasn’t that bad a kid, so you’re somewhat at a loss at where to find him. However, you’re certain that unless he killed someone without you or Antonio noticing, then he’s probably doing… fine.

>>5704511
>Salvatore. He wasn’t that bad a kid, so you’re somewhat at a loss at where to find him. However, you’re certain that unless he killed someone without you or Antonio noticing, then he’s probably doing… fine.

>>5704511
>Antonio. You already have a rough idea of where he is, but confirmation would speed your passage from a methodical search of every layer he might be in (You know him to be a man of MANY vices, although good at heart. You feel that he’s probably not having the best time of it because of that) to a glorified hike.
The main man, the guy that fixed us and let us be in our pizza-making ways.

>>5704511
>>Antonio. You already have a rough idea of where he is, but confirmation would speed your passage from a methodical search of every layer he might be in (You know him to be a man of MANY vices, although good at heart. You feel that he’s probably not having the best time of it because of that) to a glorified hike.

Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>5704512
>>5704513
>>5704551
>>5704812

OK anons, I didn't want it to come to this, but Ultraquest is, unfortunately, canceled/on indefinite hiatus. In the first few threads of this quest I held a passion for Ultrakill which has since waned severely, and I don't want to end up hating this quest. I already almost consider it a chore, and don't want to progress beyond that.

In a more practical sense as well, I have been struck with severe writer's block on how the FUCK to get the funny pizza machine where he needs to go in a narratively satisfying and consistent matter that ALSO preserves player choice. Just railroading you there and saying "Hell is strange anons..." and making all paths lead to your goal doesn't sit right with me. There's a reason I let you dick around on the surface until you made the Giga-Cutter, after all.

I'd rather put the quest on hold/end it here than slowly drop the quality due to apathy until it dies because no one else enjoys it either. Maybe someday I'll pick this quest back up but until then, I'm going to take a short break from QMing, and then run a different quest. Hopefully, one that I can keep up with.

>>5712333
yeah this was a long time coming, props for actually holding on this long and telling us instead of ghosting

>>5712333
Thanks for letting us know. Good luck out there man.

>>5712333
I'll repeat what the other guys said and thank you for telling us instead of flaking.
Anyway, hope you find enjoyment in whatever you plan on doing next!