And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming:

Hour 2, Shift 2
Quota: 0/8 PRODUCT
Collected E-Energy: 37 Packets
E-Energy Generated/Hour: 0
Collected PRODUCT: 0 Boxes

calm2 (CO.AG Music - Unanswered Questions) - https://youtu.be/-gwln_BYs6Y

>Employee BB, Entertain TOMORROW GIRAFFE. Pretend like you're filming an interview with it for an an audience.

Having made up your mind to be a *cool* Manager earlier this morning, you send your first work order out of order. How daring! How terrifying! (To be frank, this managing business is much more boring than you first thought. Looking and listening to other people when they could be looking and listening to yours truly instead...)

beep

Employee BB's bored look evaporates as she receives the work order. Her horrible red tie menaces with terrible fashion sense as it sways down the halls.

Employee BB enters the containment cell.
BB and the giraffe stare at each other.
BB clears her throat.
BB: Good morning. It's sometime on Tuesday morning. I think it's a Tuesday morning down here. It's Tuesday morning. This is, uh, Bobbert from Channel L12 reporting in. We're here with a few questions for you today.
The giraffe stands firm and offers no reaction whatsoever.
BB: What would you like to eat?
There is no response.
BB: How do you feel about your current state of containment?
There is no response.
BB: What do you think about the current Governing Authority? Which is to say, City Hall, from what I understand.
There is no response.
BB: Are your organs as geometrical as your body? ... What are birds, really? ... Would you like a chocolate? ... Do you love your City? ... Do you really know what time it is? ... Have you ever planned to give your friend away to have his brain removed? ... Why do they call it "beetle burgers" when there's no other type of burger? ... Do you like red or blu? ...
The giraffe calmly observes as BB makes her inquires and pauses for responses which will never come.
The "interview" drags on until-
BB: You must one of those fallen stars, aren't you?
BB points her finger up, towards the sky which the entity seems to yearn so much for.
BB: Why don't you show us in the audience something? Something interesting. Just what do the stars look like in that big blocky head of yours?
The giraffe's polyhedron begins to shine with a warm golden glow...
But the light fades.
Nothing happens in the end.
[GRANDFARCE] The giraffe is, of course, only watching.
BB lets out a low groan.
BB: Bleh. As if there ever was a breakthrough. I feel like a major idiot, talking to the ambulatory giant brick wall.
BB: Either that or he's secretly one of those tall, dark, and brooding types, sighing as he looks up to the stars and where they ought to be.
The employee knocks on its obsidian skin.
BB: Maybe I should just give up figuring you out, treat you just as a statue and pass you by on the way to my real strenuous work...
BB: Nah, nah -- nah. But I sincerely wish you would give us some answers one day.
BB: Alright. ByeBye.
Employee BB exits the containment cell.
...
a horrid tie came into this small room of mine
it was a blood red sight to warm the heart
and as always
I was smiling
...

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>Employee C, Foster the Knight of Pen and Paper. See what kind of food stuffs this thing would prefer.

Employee C is currently tinkering with his flamethrower...

beep
Looks like he's rather absorbed by his work, so...
beep
beep beep
A girl giggles.
beep beep beep beep beep beep-

Employee C stops calibrating the clumsy clasps of his claptrap combustion contraption cobbled together out of a contrived combo of cylinders and cans and carefully consults the consigned chore with his constant countenance of considerable incomprehension. And as a consequence...

Employee C takes off his makeshift flamethrower with a thoughtful sigh and exits the break room. Later, he'll be able to continue improving his craft.

(Goodness, one strong blow to that piece of junk and it'll all go up in flames. Catastrophe!)

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Employee C enters the containment cell.
The knight breaks its composure with a cursory nod, but does not approach the employee.
Its pail is still being filled by the ink flowing from the tip of its massive sword.
C: Greetings, sir knight.
The employee gives a small bow.
ANOMALY: Good morn, zirrah. What buziness do you have of me?
C: I was requested by this facility's Lord to inquire about your dietary needs. Can you tell us about what you eat?
ANOMALY: Hoo. The fare of you rough beaztz iz ztrange. Permit thiz hungry knight to recall his latezt mealzzz...
With another arm, the anomaly reaches into one of its paper segments, plucks out an indistinguishable sheet of symbols and scribbles, and begins to read aloud.
ANOMALY: "Regular matte. Bright white. Looze leaf. Paper platez. Ehfffff Ezzzz Zeeee zertificazion of the highezt quality UZE BLANK PAGE ONLY NO DYE OR INK AVOID DIRECT WATERING"
The anomaly shouts the last bit, faithful to the spirit and letter of what is written.
ANOMALY: Zo writez the Zage.
ANOMALY: Bring another bucket of water, zo I may zee my rezpite to the fullezzzt.
C: I'll see what we have available, zir.
C returns with a few sheets of ordinary printer paper and paper plates.
ANOMALY: You have my thankz, Caztellan.
The centipede proceeds to fold the papers, wetting its smaller hands to make delicate yet decisive creases and folds.
When your hands are busy, your heart is serene.
Within a only few minutes, several sturdy-looking paper armor plates and another long two-handed sword are crafted.
The knight scuttles back a few feet and takes a few practice swings.
[GRANDFARCE] There is rhythm to its movements, a practiced tempo to each heavy stroke, thrust, and its swaying hundredfootwork.
Rustling with satisfaction, the knight dips another tapering maxilla into the ink and inscribes several symbols.
[GRANDFARCE] As the centipede detaches a large portion of its creased carapace and replaces it with fresh plate, you realize the anomaly is paper all the way through. No organic bits here.
C: If I may be so permitted to speak, what are you drawing there, sir knight?
It takes a sudden start as it is interrupted from its careful calligraphy, but the knight gives a little nod.
ANOMALY: Allow me to elucidate you on my heraldly, beaztly...
ANOMALY: Thiz iz the three pointed ztar. The zymbol of my undertaken oath and thuz a zymbol of the Zage herzelf. Yez, my mentor and my guiding light in this fallen world...
ANOMALY: Theze are the two ringz, which mark me as the Warden of the Vault, where I must hold my vigil eternally.
ANOMALY: Knighted az I am, I am a Warden firzt and foremozt. The mizzion stayz the zame...
The centipede shudders.
ANOMALY: Now begone and trouble me no more, zervant. I muzt get back to work.
The anomaly raises its inkling sword with renewed focus.
C picks up the sloughed-off plate and exits the containment cell.

Acquired:
- Molted paper plates x2

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>Employee E, Deprive the EGG of Human Endeavors. Just go in there and look like you're busy doing something else. Don't acknowledge it.

beep

Employee E staggers out into the hall, hunched with his coat draped over his body, looking more pajama than man. (For God's sake, he's wearing bunny slippers! They look more like beaten shoes from their filthy condition...)
Employee E stands in front of the Egg and looks blearily up towards the pipework in the ceiling.
[GRANDFARCE]He's not quite hypnotized by the pipework, but he's definitely not entirely clocked in.
ANOMALY: Ed?
ANOMALY: Ed? Ed? Ed?
The ball of darkness tries to catch Ed's attention for several minutes.
The shape of the thing starts to shift faster and faster, mouth to eye to hand to heart to strange and bewildering organs, here, there, then back again to its quivering mouth.
ANOMALY: This is another work order, isn't it.
ANOMALY: I'm beginning to see the pattern here. This abnormal behavior is another test for my psyche, isn't it?
Ed continues staring upward, as directed. (Or maybe because he's not sentient enough to respond.)
ANOMALY: Look at me Ed. Look at me.
ANOMALY: Ed. Ed. Ed.
ANOMALY: I can tell you my secrets, if you want. I can tell you the secrets of my laboratory, which have been lost to its local Cataclysm. I can whisper into your ears about the secrets of the City and the era, which have been hidden away from the mankind.
ANOMALY: Just let me exist alongside you, as a friend out there, please. Within the warmth of the wider world...
Ed mumbles something under his breath, but neither you or the egg can quite make out what he says.
The anomaly continues half-whimpering, half-gibbering before lapsing into silence.
After a few more minutes, the employee walks back into the break room and collapses back into his makeshift bed. Job well done.
Wisps of something, or perhaps static footage artifacts, flicker on the screen, but they vanish quickly.

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>Headpat the drone for a job well done. She tried.

"Yes, Manager?" You jerk out of your seat as your poncho-wearing secretary whispers out of the darkness, right beside your ear. Despite there only being one entrance, you didn't ever notice her entering the control room. "Ah, s-sorry, sorry. That's a bad habit of mine."

You smooth out your ruffled feathers and give her a smile fit for a magazine cover. "Everything's a-okay, Frank. Just stand right over here."

Hmhmm. The difference in your heights makes the logistics of a headpat quite troublesome, but not impossible. You start to climb on your desk to reach the top of Frank's head.

"What are you trying to do here? Do you need help?" She tilts her head to the side in bemusement, which makes her head *just* within reach while using your tippy-toes. You quickly pat her head like knocks on a door, then take the time to ruffle her hair.

[URBAN IMPULSE] You need to see it. You grip her chin in one hand and shift her hair like a curtain. Frank begins to fidget. Yes. Just right there, in the nape of her neck, is...
>The usual Drone barcode. [Things will become more grounded.]
>A zipper..? [Things will become more strange indeed.]

You let go and give another award-winning grin as if nothing out of the ordinary happened. "Giving you a headpat, of course! The sort of thing which is assuredly popular with younger teenagers nowadays," you remark casually.

"Hnnnhgh..." Frank shuffles her feet around. She takes a step back, making it impossible to read her expression. "I do enjoy your presence, Manager. I would certainly rather you not die... Please refrain from petting your secretary during the scheduled work hours... N-Nor should you touch her... It's not quite right, I think."

"Ah. Well. Not everything in this world can be quite so easily acquired." You wave her off. "You are dismissed, Franklin. Go."

"O-Of course, Manager." Frank scurries out of the control room and you're left alone again. The tension in your jaw loosens, but a burning feeling remains. Very faintly, the scent of L Company's scented candles lingers in the stale air.

The Work Order on TOMORROW GIRAFFE has been completed.
Assigned: Employee BB
Type: Entertain
Work Result: Neutral
E-Energy Generated: +3 (13/100)
Anomaly Mood: Content
Employee Morale: Nervous -> Neutral
Employee Aspect Revealed: N/A
Employee BB's Report:
- There wasn't a strong reaction when directly confronted, nor when I left the room. There wasn't much change since the last work order, either.
- Since we don't have many empty containment cells, I suggest moving the giraffe out to the break room. It seems rather docile and some of the *other* employees would provide a suitable spectacle every so often.
- I think the only way to progress in this case is to "synchronize" with the abnormality in the same way that GUY had. There is something beautiful here, I feel.
- End of report [close]

The Work Order on The Knight of Pen and Paper is complete.
Assigned: Employee C
Type: Foster
Work Result: Good
E-Energy Generated: +7 (22/???)
Anomaly Mood: Neutral -> Pliable
Employee Morale: Neutral
Employee Aspect Revealed: N/A
Work Notes - Employee C:
- I'm sure this one has many more stories to tell. Though, its alien and rigid perspective may keep it wary towards opening up to us.
- A respectful, proper tone seems the most appealing to this kind of anomalous being.
- Each of its crafted armaments seem to be combat capable. I do not know if they retain the same durability as the paper they were made from. Perhaps we can use this fact?

The Work Order on The Egg of Human Endeavors is complete.
Assigned: Employee E
Type: Deprive
Work Result: Good
E-Energy Generated: +2/∞
Anomaly Mood: Good -> Lonely
Employee Morale: Neutral
Employee Aspect Revealed: N/A
Work Notes - Employee E:
- Employee sleep now.

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>Pile around the elevator and jump that sucker with all your available employees.

At the end of the hour, you turn on the intercom: "All combat-capable employees report to the control room elevator. We are about to receive an unwanted guest. Please do your best~"

You snicker as you see every single employee within the facility piling out into the hall. BB has her baton out and Chardy checks the pilot light of his gear. Ed yawns with both his hands in his pockets. You upgrade into chuckles when you see GUY hobbling out there on a pipework crutch for his piece of the action.

[GRANDFARCE] Forming mobs is a pretty common pastime, even with the rampant agoraphobia.

ding

The elevator doors slide open and Daisy stumbles out of the elevator. She's wearing a white collared blouse without a fucking tie and her usual smug, self-satisfied look. She's clutching her abdomen.

"Oh hi Edward," she says, seemingly oblivious to her welcoming party. "How's it going?"

BB and Frank whisper a few words between themselves. GUY and Chardy look over to Ed and there's a quick agreement among the three men. Your buddy steps forward to address Miss Intruder.

"Hey Daisy." Ed's voice is steady, low. You notice his other hand sliding into his coat. "Find anything downstairs?"

"Wellllllll, I'm doing a-okay, Ed~ Just need a little Pepto-Bismol or something, grk." Daisy lets out a smattering of light laughter. "Since I wasn't slated for any work orders this hour, I just thought I could take a little look-see around the lower floors. They have a real nice cafe down there. Empty. Almost empty, actually. I got a good feeling that you'll really like it."

"Are you kidding me?! The nerve of this bitch!" Daisy hisses out and stamps her foot. "You're imitating me, and you're not even doing a very good job!"

[GRANDFARCE] Despite her indignant words, Daisy is keeping her distance behind the others.

"Oh hi Edward," Daisy says. She takes a step towards herself, staring through the crowd of employees. "How's it going?"

"Guts..." The Egg hisses from down the corridor, its voice impossibly amplified. "Guts..."

In the Event of Attempted Identity Theft
How should we begin, Manager?
>Waste the bitch. The straightforward option in dealing with the anomalous.
>Ask it politely to enter containment... Somewhere.
>Tell it to go somewhere far away from your facility. You don't have time for this nonsense.
>Write in.

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I'm back.

>>5737467
>Ask it politely to enter containment... Somewhere.
Let's take BB's advice and have some guys move Tommorow Giraffe out of its cell while the others stuff "Daisy" in Giraffe's former cell.
>>A zipper..? [Things will become more strange indeed.]

>>5737473
+1, both because I want to have something different from a Drone this time around (tall menacing guy from MANAGER, HELP! has Casey to "wake him up" every day), and because I want to pull a Chris Hansen style "why don't have a seat over there?" on this freak imitation being. Is there something there, I wonder? Or is it just another nothing?

>>5737473
+1, glad to see you back OP

File: NH BRAN DAMGE.jpg (520 KB, 2285x2969)

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>ZIPPER (Warning: the nightmare has not gone away.)
>Ask it politely to enter containment... Somewhere.

The intercom whines to life. Everyone (save BB) and everything on the camera turns in unison towards the waking sound of the speaking box. You feel vain enough to bask in the collected gaze of red eyes, but as the transfixed stares continue, you realize they can all *see* you through your little screen in your little room at the top of the world. You quickly speak into the microphone:

"Employee D, would you kindly report to containment cell A? Everyone else, please assist in transferring the anomaly TOMORROW GIRAFFE to the break room. Chop chop, people. Get back to work."

With those magic words, the enthrallment is broken. GUY hops forward and seizes Daisy by the arm. BB jogs towards the containment cell.

"COME ON," the rabbit-eared Agent grunts out. Ed and Frank try to help, but they're too slow and GUY is moving too erratically to cooperate. Everyone has to watch as GUY shoves and manhandles the intruder towards containment. Despite both protesting to the obvious abuse, "Daisy" is entirely compliant.

"Easy buddy, this is a thousand dollar blouse-" "Don't be such a fucking brute with me, GUY! Her! It! Whatever the hell that thing wearing my face is!"
"NO."
You see Chardy say something but his pleads are immediately drowned out by the bickering.
"I AM CALM. YEAAAUGH!!!"

As soon as the airlock opens, GUY picks "Daisy" up with seemingly superhuman strength and hurls her bodily into the room, much to the original's horror. Within the containment cell, BB swiftly dodges out of the way with a smooth, cool move. (Wow!)

"NOW," GUY announces with difficulty. "WHO IS GUARD? SMART MONSTER, MAY OPEN DOOR. BAD MONSTER."

"It's doable..." Frank steps forward. Everyone seems surprised to see her standing there. Daisy recovers her shock but Frank gives her a look(?) that kills her obvious challenge before it's even put into words. "'R-Regardless of p-personal bias... E-Employees should maintain proper containment procedures of anomalous entities... including preserving their safety...'"

[GRANDFARCE] She wants to run, but she stands her ground. She has to for the sake of the anomaly... but why? Why bother?

"I-You, you don't *get* it! It's a sick joke that someone else is wearing my face and you're just going to LET THAT HAPPEN?" Daisy splutters, stamps her foot, and storms down the nearest stairs. Both Daisies seem very agitated. "Daisy"'s physical condition seems to be worsening.

Incident Resolved.
Gathered:
+2 DTC Energy
+1 E Energy

>>5739984
"That copy's in there with BB," Ed remarks as things begin to wind down. He looks towards the door as if expecting someone else to come through.

"SO?" GUY looks to the door. "AH FUCK."

"Let's just take a minute to reconvene and-" The head of the giraffe emerges from the solid metal wall. You frantically throw your hand up as blinding golden light suddenly fills the control room. When your vision returns...

"Oh." Aleth has returned from her guard shift. There are now two giraffes standing in the hallway. The herd seems to be entirely at ease as they stand and stare as giraffes are wont to do. The good doctor points at an entirely bemused BB. "You. Elaborate."

"Miss Zobel, it appears as if-"

"Somewhere in Nevada, in a tax-exempt facility just outside the City, an impromptu art gallery was assembled by the curator known as TOMORROW GIRAFFE," BB explains rather plainly. "Original works donated by Edward Sobchak, GUY Anderson, et al. Should we start charging for tickets?"

A lets out a high sincere laugh, but she shakes her head and the usual look of hers returns. "Do whatever you please. I don't really care right now, this day's just been dragging on and on."

"But it's only the third hour in the day?" Aleth just gives BB a glare that can kill human relationships before she shuffles shivering into the break room.

"GOOD LUCK, ED," GUY yells at the giraffe. He gives a thumbs up. "IT'S KINDA COOL."

AVAILABLE EMPLOYEES: A, BB, C, D, F; Agent GUY
Daisy is sulking around the outside of the facility.
Frank is guarding Containment Cell A.

Hour 3, Shift 2
Quota: 0/8 PRODUCT
Collected E-Energy: 49 Packets (Quota can be reached!)
E-Energy Generated/Hour: +2
Collected PRODUCT: 0 Boxes

Anomaly and Oddity Work Orders [1 Hour]
>The Egg of Human Endeavors
>TOMORROW GIRAFFE
>The Knight of Pen and Paper
>PRODUCTION Room
>Television Set

Miscellaneous Works [Variable]
>Make an intercom announcement, send a PDA message, etc. (What do you want to say?)
>Host an interview with an employee. (Who?)
>Investigate something? (What?)
>End the work day. (QUOTA INCOMPLETE.)
>Write in.

Remember to ask questions if you need a refresher. It's been a while since the last thread. Had to help my siblings move out of the house, so late on the update. I apologize.

>>5739988
>Employee A, Entertain Egg of Human Endeavors. It feels like shit, go ahead and talk to it.
>Employee BB, Foster the bugge of paper. Get him some paper to help him out. Remind her to be formal
>Employee D, Entertain Tomorrow Giraffe. Tell her to go ahead and take a break with it, you'll feel better.
>Employee C and Agent GUY, guard the cell with "Daisy" for an hour while Employee F is assigned to something else.
>Employee F, grab 42 E-Energy and refine it at PRODUCTION.

I'm not exactly sure what to do with "Daisy" proper. I'm willing to hear anything out from you guys or about how much E-Energy we should refine (3 per PRODUCT)

>>5739999
would've deleted the post but damn, quads. Replace the BB bug work with
>Employee BB, Entertain the Knight of Pen and Paper. Try to get some stories out of it with some of your own.
Since we DID give it paper before in the previous work. That and it's in a good mood.

>>5739999
>>5740000
>double quads
Very nice. I'm not going to vote yet because sleeptime. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHqCuVrrePo

>>5739999
>>5740000
+1 these then to save time

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>>5739984
>Warning: the nightmare has not gone away
Something tells me Frank unzipping her skin is going to be less good compared to her unzipping Ace's pants, but I've been wrong before
>collected gaze of red eyes
I did my dailies, shut up Vergilius
>they can all *see* you through your little screen
Does Ace's room have a physical view window in it, or is that metaphorical?
>thousand dollar blouse-
Some 21 year old magician girl wouldn't make that much money, come on
>hurls her bodily into the room
GUY might be the coolest character we have in our facility, second to our ACE
>dodges out of the way with a smooth, cool move
That's Competent kicking in
>surprised to see her standing there
But she's been in the break room with the others before, they know her
>Why bother?
Because duty and the job coming first
>"Daisy" is entirely compliant.
>"Daisy"'s physical condition seems to be worsening.
Is this fake's condition related directly to the original? And if so, how?
>Incident Resolved.
We do have energy collectors in the break room right? Even though TOMORROW'S GIRAFFE generates little energy, it still generates energy we don't want to miss out on.

>>5739988
>That copy's in there with BB
>The good doctor points at an entirely bemused BB. "You. Elaborate."
What happened here?
>You frantically throw your hand up as blinding golden light suddenly fills the control room
I immediately thought of pic related, you madman
>Somewhere in Nevada
Will Monzo be somewhere?
>a high sincere laugh
What a nice moment
>But it's only the third hour in the day?
A real "What a week!" + "Manager, it is Wednesday" moment
>Daisy is sulking around the outside of the facility.
I think we should address this soon
>Had to help my siblings move out of the house, so late on the update. I apologize.
That's OK OP. Moving is always a pain if you have a lot of stuff

Are you alive?

Please archive this properly before it dies

>>5767706
Archived it for him. Hopefully, better luck next time.