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/qst/ - Quests


File: Beerus Reviews.png (154 KB, 1098x601)
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It is AGE 780.
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In the depths of Universe 7's vast space, a planet furiously explodes.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cp_QNLSBTLI
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"Huuuoooaaaggghhhk.... nmm..."

The Destroyer yawned, resting his cheek upon a weary palm as he stared into the passing streaks of the warp tunnel. He sighed as he spat to the side, saying with much displeasure; "Those fatsos were all quacks if I've ever seen any. Their food was terrible, it was like all so greasy and slick! Like a wad of grease as fat as they were. Who knows what they were thinking! Were they trying to kill me?!"

"Yes, it was rather dismal, what those rotund gentlemen were cooking up. While I find it generous you'd offer to actually allow me to sample alongside you for once, I'm glad I declined this time." Commented his vehicle for travel. The Angel Attendant, Whis.

"No kidding, even Champa isn't that shameful." Beerus said, shutting his eyes.

"Hmm..." Whis looked over his shoulder, just peeking at the twitching ears of his Destroyer; "You know, you are being very proactive today in your forte. I'd say even more than usual."

"Well," Beerus started, peeling a lid open; "-it sure beats having to babysit a blue haired brat for the day."

Whis hummed to himself, seemingly content to take that much as an answer he'd settle for, but Beerus spoke again, and curse his big mouth when he rants on in Whis' ear. - "I suppose I'd also like to fill a plate besides my own. It's about time I gave those lethargic Kais a thing or two to keep themselves preoccupied. A nudge in the right direction of governance."

"Peculiar," Whis said, suspicions aroused; "-are you certain it's merely a change of pace in the daily routine that's gotten you all worked up like this and nothing else?"

"What are you implying, Whis?" Beerus said, both eyes flickering open.

"Well, it hasn't been long since the Tournament of Power concluded, milord." Whis said with a smile; "I'd be wary of Grand Zeno getting any ideas for a new inter-universal. If a low Mortal Level was the qualifier for the last tournament's entry, it wouldn't be so farfetched if it was again for the next. If I do recall, Universe 7 failed to account for having an acceptable Mortal Level."

Beerus felt his left eye twitch, a pang of nerve-wracking anxiety coursing down his spine.

"I-It's nothing like that! I'm not worried about Universe 7's chances if we ever have to engage in another grueling contest like that! Not at all! I'm totally confident in Grand Zeno and the Grand Minister's rule!" Beerus snapped; "My reasons are clear! Hmph! Besides, while I would be perfectly content to spend the rest of my days gorging myself on Earth's chow, I'd been longing for that sense of nostalgia in traveling the cosmos and judging all that I rule as well."
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"A refreshing change of pace, if anything, my lord."

Beerus nodded.

"I may be a harsh critic, but being an accurate critic is crucial to the role of God of Destruction. I've had the Seer begin assisting me in keeping my reviews and recording my experiences."

Whis chuckled. "I didn't know you were looking forward to retirement, Lord Beerus."

"Hey! I'm just keeping footnotes! I'm not retiring any time soon!"

"Truly? We have found promising candidates in Vegeta and Broly, my lord."

"Tch!" The Embarrassed God of Destruction looked away; "I will have to be replaced one day. It's inevitable. Whether it takes a couple million years more from now or a trillion. The next God of Destruction may not do things exactly as I've done, but my footnotes will be a helpful guide for cultivating the mindset that befits the position most. THAT'S WHY THEY'RE FOOTNOTES AND NOTHING MORE FOR NOW, GOT IT?!"

"Oh ho ho ho ho! Alright, as you say, my lord."

"I've even formulated an official Beerus the Destroyer's ranking system to use from now on." The cat bragged.

"Oh?"
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"There's five stars in total I will rank planets by, in terms of their cuisine. As I've said, tasting the universe out there is something I've needed to get back to. I've even named each star a tier of its own. Five stars, and you're officially Earth tier. Four, and you're North Kai's cooking tier. Three stars is, mmn... decent tier. Two stars is rubbish, and a whopping one star places you on the same tier as the Supreme Kai of Time."

"HEY!" A new voice suddenly barked into the conversation. Both Beerus and Whis glanced up in shock to the flowing tunnel around them. Beerus felt his ears twitch. He recognized that squeaky, high pitched tone.

"Supreme Kai of Time! I wasn't aware you were monitoring me..." Beerus grumbled through his jowls.

"Oh! Uh! Well, there's nothing really going on right now, no timey wimey crises or distortions in history, so the Time Nest is pretty quiet! I've just, uh, been tuning into other events in the multiverse hoping to see something interesting is all! I swear! B-But anyway, WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM GOING AND NAMING A BOTTOM OF THE BARREL RANKING AFTER MY COOKING ANYWAY, HUH?!" Chronoa squealed impotently; "My cooking isn't THAT bad!"

"HAAHAAHAAHEHE! He's got you there, short stuff!" North Kai suddenly interjected; "They say you keep accidentally misplacing your dish detergent and flour with one another! Hahahahah! There's no way your cooking beats my buttered biscuits! Tell her Bubbles!"

"Eeeeheeehehehe! Maybe when you're one thousand years older like me you'll be able to serve up a dish that put people in the cemetery, little lady!" Old Kai snickered telepathically.

"U-Uh, p-pardon my intrusion, but I'm not sure that chiming in like this will serve to do anything more than tick off Lord Beerus..." Shin shakily said over their shared wavelengths.

Beerus perked up with a smile.

"Actually, while knowing that you lot are constantly invading the privacy of my thoughts is rather infuriating, I'm glad you've spoken up, little Kai. You'll have a big workload on your hands soon, so I hope you're ready."
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"U-Uh! G... guh?!" Shin gawked, speechless; "A-Are you really going to destroy a ton of planets again?"

"Damn right I am!" Beerus yelled; "I'm doing MY job this time, so you don't get to use that card anymore! I want this universe and its Mortal Level raised and shaped up! Your policy of noninterference is mostly-... erhh... part of the reason we even had to participate in Grand Zeno's games. It's time to start showing those Mortals some miracles like a real god, Kai."

"Kg... I... I understand..." Shin sighed.

"Good.... NOW GET OUT OF MY EARS ALREADY! ALL OF YOU!" Beerus shouted at them all.

Whis tapped his staff. The warp around faded.

"Lord Beerus, we have arrived to the next planet. I've taken the liberty of selecting a number of them myself for this endeavor, even informing them of your arrival ahead of time! We'll be punctual. Very well, let's get to work, shall we?"

"Let's. My stomach is an abyss and it's not even ten percent full." Beerus said.

Together, the two began their descent...

~~~

>>> SELECT A PLANET TO VISIT
>Planet Bounts
>Planet Algone
>Planet Crog
>Frieza Clan Rebel Colony G-4
>Planet Ooanmit
>Planet Loqu
>Planet Blubbier
>Nebula 451M5
>Planet Cinndorell
>Planet Salal
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>>6071606

>Planet Crog
Sounds like Grog, good enough for me.
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Also, is Old Kai implying that Time Kai's cooking is so bad it destroys their soul and in a thousand years they'll improve to only kill someone or are they joking about training their cooking as a killing art?
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>>6071636
Ah-Ah, and there's the first typo...! There should be a "doesn't" before "put" in that line, since he's saying her cooking is so bad it kills people. Apologies, I need to take better care to proofread, haha...
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>>6071639
It's cool, death's weird in DBZ and I haven't played many games so I legit assumed it was the first thing.
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>>6071606
>Planet Crog
Planet Crog shall be... GOOD ENOUGH! Or it shall be DESTROYED! Before these mortals lies... EXCELLENCE... ANNIHILATION... It will either HAPPEN or it WON'T! Perfect 50/50 chance if you look at the FACTS!
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>>6071606
>Planet Crog
Something tells me this is another planet of primitives, meaning their cuisine probably won't be super refined. Here's hoping they have ingredients good enough to make up for that if that's the case.
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Beerus sniffed as he and Whis descended into the atmosphere of a green planet cloaked with a reddish hue.. It smelled... like a swamp. A planet spanning swamp of insect ridden bayous and odorous marshes. The whiff of it left a metallic taste in Beerus' mouth already and he stuck his tongue out dismissively, looking down at the muggy planet.

"Urgh. What a dump. Is this planet nothing but wetlands? Probably inhabited by some warty, smelly amphibians I'd imagine."

"As a matter of fact, my lord, it is. This is Planet Crog, inhabited by the froglike Goboxians."

"Hmmm... Say, Whis, how exactly did you go about selecting this lineup we're on anyway? I don't want that diminutive Kai to yap at me for eradicating civilizations that haven't properly "developed" anymore."

"Very considerate of you, Lord Beerus." Whis looked at him with surprise.

Beerus merely crossed his arms. "Well, I am a merciful and fair god. Just this once I'm willing to consider his complaints with my work, since I'm kicking him into action improving his own!"

"I see. Well, then I will admit to you that it was a completely random survey. I haven't cherry picked any specific planets for our endeavor."

"Hmph. Very well."

"The Supreme Kai of the East may be heavily encumbered. He already had much work to do creating new worlds before you clocked back in."

"Tch. I have to go this far to propel him. Some universes out there manage to get by on no more Supreme Kais than we currently have. Hell, Gowasu of Universe 10 is all alone after all that happened with his punk of an apprentice." Beerus pointed out.

Whis nodded.

"Back to the matter at hand."
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Planet Crog was a planet with a low population, relatively. In the past, the Frieza Force had assaulted the world and reduced the Goboxians to just the supercontinent their world hosted, wiping out the traces of civilization on its mini-continents to prove a point. This led to a history of them exporting goods to Frieza's empire for generations, in return for trading rights and the privilege to be owned by Lord Cooler himself, until the Frieza Force declined with the death of its Emperor and later his brother Cooler.

Since then, Planet Crog, basically isolated, had become a popular transit point for the underworld of the galaxy to avoid the Galactic Patrol. It hosted vast black markets in its swamp cities, bringing in an income to the stagnate Goboxian people. Not many Goboxians exist off world. The swamp terrain was already perfect for their people.

The Destroyer and his Attendant Angel found themselves descending into the middle of a little palace of sorts in the capital of the supercontinent. A city floated on top of a swamp, every building built on top of and supported by beams rising from the blackish water. Swamp trees were in the crevices of every street, boats being the main means of transportation for those who didn't swim. All around, there was nothing but croaking. Incessant croaking!

"Ahh! Welcome to Crog, honored deities!" Said a voice that sounded as if it had lumps in its throat. An assembly of Goboxians at a large table or parliament of some fashion awaited the God of Destruction in the swamp palace. This must have been their representative.

"I am Gumbo, speaker for the oligarchs of Planet Crog. It is my honor to meet you at last, noble divinity."

"Hm, yes, yours." Beerus said, pinching his nose.

"Dgh.... uh... Y-Yes, well..."

"Mmm. The last planet I destroyed was also populated by a race of round balls like you. I trust you prepared to impress me beyond their ability with an offering then?"

The Goboxian parliament all whispered. Nervous and hushed conversations and words were exchanged as they eyed the bold Destroyer. Gumbo cleared his throat.

"Of course, great God of Destruction, although it is my duty to inform you that we will not be able to satisfy any culinary requirements to this impression... a-as was informed to us by your majordomo. Y-... You see, us Goboxians subsist on a diet solely comprised of insects."

"Hmmm... Insects, you say?"

"Yes, Lord Beerus. As any amphibian should, we derive our protein solely from this planet's boundless plagues of delectable insects. Though, we wouldn't be so... audacious as to assume his lordship is willing to eat live insects as we do."
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"That is a problem then. My visitation to a planet is much like inviting a guest of high notoriety into your home, to a dinner, or when you're throwing a banquet. That boss you invite from work in the hopes that buttering him up will net you that promotion or raise you've been salivating over..." Beerus began, trailing off as he walked around Gumbo and towards the Parliament of frogs, who, some of them, in response began to flinch and stand and walk away in fright as he plopped himself down in the biggest seat and spun around a bit in it; "And what do you do to treat a guest right on such an occasion? You ensure they're comfortable with your dwelling. You open the door for them, shake their hand, offer them a nice seat and tell them, "help yourself!". So far, you've told me that is not what you have for me. So then, I must ask... what DO you have, Goboxian?"

Gumbo gulped, and smiled.

"Eheh... We deigned to offer you a specialty our planet is known for, Lord Beerus. We offer you one of the most popular varieties of alcoholic beverage that finds its way across this galaxy. The very own unique Mucus Beer of Planet Crog."

Beerus blinked.

"..."

Gumbo stood there, squeezing his hands tightly behind his back, nearly about to squeeze the digits right off. The sweat that trickled down his forward blended in with the mucus his skin already secreted.

"...You're offering me a drink? A drink of all things?

"Weh... Well, Lord Beerus, it's not just any drink."

"You make beer out of.... mucus...? Like what's oozing from your body right now?"

Gumbo licked his licks, to emphasize his point. "Yes! We actually consume our own mucus. It's very beneficial for our health! Like a natural s-substance! We already have plenty of water. W-When the Frieza Force began importing exotic goods such as liquors from other worlds, we naturally began to mix the two. M-Many races beyond our own actually do buy plenty of units of it!"

"...Ghhhn..." Beerus growled.

"Dh-... H-... I... I swear, you'll like it, if you just give it a try! W-We've even brought out shot glasses and multiple bottles, Lord Beerus! Wh-Who knows! You may even get sauced up and enjoy the slurry! Haha... Pl-Please, consider it, noble God duh-dof D-De-Destruction!"
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Beerus felt the vein above his eyes pulse. His claw tapped the arm of the chair he sat in. His eyes were dark with shadows that struck fear into the whole room. They dared to suggest... in a remotely serious manner, that the God of Destruction himself consume MUCUS in a bottle that's been watered down with water, alcohol, and who knows what else from this godforsaken swamp of a planet? Genuinely? And they thought this was okay?

(Mercy & Hakai Points counter added. Obtain at least 9 Mercy Points to get the Good Ending. Having more Hakai Points results in the Humiliated by Universe 6 Ending!)

>Fair enough. They've got guts. Try the Mucus Beer... and if it's no good, this whole arm of the galaxy can go bye-bye! (1+ MERCY)
>This is unacceptable. Such a foolish and frankly revolting species as this has no place anymore in the world. (1+ HAKAI)
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>>6071659
>Fair enough. They've got guts. Try the Mucus Beer... and if it's no good, this whole arm of the galaxy can go bye-bye! (1+ MERCY)
Whatever it is, it's probably still better than what Chronoa might whip up.
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"Ghrnnn.... Very well." Beerus snorted, much to the collective relief of the Goboxians. But they weren't totally at ease yet. "I will try this... Mucus Beer of yours. But let me tell you now... If I don't like it, every planet and sun within one hundred systems reach here is getting destroyed."

"W-... G-Guk! Th-That would wipe out the neighboring Magonians we trade with too... U-Uh! M-Make haste! Bring this man his offering!"

Slippery feet made their way across the floor. A Goboxian servant approached Beerus as he swiveled slightly to the right in the big chair and knelt before him, holding up a tray topped with multiple bottles full of a green substance reflecting the lights in the room. Curiously, he raised an eyebrow as he appraised the goods and reached forward for one that truly stood out to him.

"This one is shaped like... your kind's legs."

"Ah, yes. That one is an expensive sort, Swamprocks Special Blend, ten ninety. The peculiar frog-leg shape actually has a storied history."

"And what kind of history is that which causes you to make such a ridiculous bottle shape?"

"Well... figuratively and literally, the Frieza Force kicked us around in the past. One of the popular things their stationed soldiers would do is threaten to turn locals into frog legs. As in the food, frog legs. However, we came to adore the shape and reconstruct it into something that... that we pride. Our race's strong legs."

"You are all pudgy and bloated."

"Well, it speaks volumes of the strength of our legs to be able to move us pudgy and bloated beings, sire... Ehehe."

"Whatever." Beerus said, swishing the bottle of Swamprocks blend in his hand. "Hmm... Bottoms up."

Twisting the top off, Beerus grabbed the bigger of the two shot glasses before him and filled it to the brim with the green liquid slowly, without spilling even a drop. He had the keen eyes of a true gourmet, ones that could not miss the way the liquor oozed out of the bottle. It had the same consistency of mucus, slowly snaking downwards like slime. But it was way more watery. It smelled strong. He noted the way that the liquid had some... globules of some sort rushing down through the stream.

"Hmm?"

He tilted his glass. The stuff didn't even spill, at least not immediately.

"Our beverages all use tree barks boiled to perfection, along with wetland berries. The most important ingredient beyond our somewhat toxic mucus secretion that gives it a spicy hint is the shellac we farm from our insect droves here on our planet. The shellac resin melts perfectly into the mixture as we distill it, allowing the alcohol to blend into the perfect fermented drink. A heads up now that it may tingle in your nostrils, Lord Beerus."
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Without further ado, Beerus threw the shot back into his throat and snapped his jaw shut.

"Mmmmhmmm... hm..."

Swishing the globules and juice back and forth, and then swallowing it before setting his glass down. He held his hand to his nose, and sniffled before he gagged a little, and then coughed once.

"..."

"Odd."

"Odd, sire?"

"It's not as horrible as I believed it would be. By all means, I can see why some would enjoy the taste of melted shellac mix with those tangy hints of spicy mucus diluted by the alcohol additive... however..."

"H-However...?"

"...the consistency is unforgivable. Absolutely unforgivable. I can't stand the way this feels against my tongue. It's as if I had my own mucus in my mouth. The residual feeling is quite perturbing." Beerus said, before reaching forward and grabbing the bottle next to the Swamprocks and reading the label; "Toadstool. Lovely."

Plucking the cork out with his claw, Beerus took a swig of this one.

"Mhf!'

He set it down and stuck his tongue out.

"Blegh. Now this one just feels like gelatin in my mouth. Watery gelatin."

"Like melted candy from Earth. Jellybeans, I'd think." Whis said, to which Beerus snapped his finger in his direction.

"Toadstool is a brand that famously blends their alcohol to soften the fluid."

"It's much tangier. I still feel it in my nose and head. Huf... Well, I've had enough of that."
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Beerus stood up from the chair, and stepped past Gumbo, back over to Whis' side in the midst of the Goboxian parliament. He turned and faced Gumbo, who had an awfully optimistic look on his face.

"Well sire, now that you've tried our finest products... what do you think? Have we earned salvation for our planet? I-I respect your valued opinion as a taste tester, ah-buh-b-but as a personal opinion, the success of our Mucus Beer speaks for itself across the stars! It is quite good..."

Beerus raised his chin and began to think...

'That concoction was quite awful to put in the mouth, but the taste was not bad. Maybe half bad, but not bad bad. If only it had the serene consistency of pure watery liquid, I would have perhaps even upgraded my opinion to liking it... In many ways, it's something the Supreme Kai of Time would cook up in whatever despicable witch's cauldron she has in her kitchen that makes everything she creates so bad, but I want to give it the benefit of the doubt that they've stooped to her low... so I'm a bit hard to decide here....'

>How many stars is Mucus Beer?
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>>6071705
>I'd say a 2.5. It's not bad but leaves a lot to be desired. And having to drink someone else's mucus is revolting.
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>>6071705
>2 Stars. A decent enough flavor and aftertaste, but the texture makes this an overall lacking experience. They would do well to branch out and experiment with the consistency of their brew in the future.
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>>6071705
>2 Stars
Solidly meh showing, but it wasn't too offensively bad.
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"I have decided." Beerus says, raising two fingers.

Gumbo tilted his head as much as he could, pressing into his fat green rolls. He looks quizzically at the two fingers the Destroyer had raised.

"Ehmmm... What does this gesture mean, Lord Beerus? The Goboxian Parliament does n-not understand."

"I give you two stars."

"Two... stars...?"

"Final rating; Rubbish!."

"R-R-R..."

The Goboxians began to visibly panic, looking to one another. Some of them were even considering drawing guns to fire at Beerus, as foolish as that was. Gumbo could hardly catch his breath.

"W-buh... w-wuh... w-ha-ho-haa... haa... wh-what is to b-become of our planet then...?!"

"I will give you something." Beerus smiled as his middle finger folded.

Atop his one raised claw, the faint purple glow of his Ki emanating above with a chiming sound soon accumulated into a shape not unlike the atom. Purplish swirls and rings danced around an orb balanced on his claw's tip.

"Here, Goboxian. Catch."

He bounced it forward, and it fell slowly through the air in a loop towards Gumbo, who instinctively held his hands out.
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"I... I got it!"
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1+ Mercy Point
1+ Hakai Point
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"Mhmhm!"

"Can't handle your booze, Lord Beerus?"

"Pft. I doubt there's anyone that could out-drink me in the seventh's cosmos." He boasted, head held high as they entered warp transit again.

"D-Did you really have to blow an entire whole in that galaxy?!" Shin suddenly complained using his telepathy again.

"When Beerus the Destroyer makes a promise, he keeps it!" Old Kai added.

"Mhm! I would not have sworn to something I did not intend to do, Kai. But let's not cry over spilled milky way, you get to patch the hole up once all is said and done!"

North Kai whispered past his palm; "Like he won't just tell me to take care of it all since it's in my quadrant!"

"Ohhh..." Shin groaned. "You know, you said I don't get to pull the "card" anymore and complain about the way you're doing your job, but I still can."

"What do you mean?"

"The God of Destruction is also tasked with eliminating threats to his universe. You can't just spend all your time blowing up planets and doing nothing else."

"As soon as there is a credible threat to Universe 7, I'll have you know I'll be right on it faster than Whis can fly! It's just that there isn't at the moment."

"It would have been helpful if you were awake during Majin Buu's rampage. You could have died in your sleep!"

"That's just because you HAD to break the shiny sword I left behind on your planet giving it to a Saiyan to swing around like a toy! But now that you've reminded me... Old geezer!"

"E-Eh?! Me?" Old Kai stammered.

"Since you are out, and the only other Kai around, you can help East Kai to make a plethora of lovely new planets, stars and mortals for the universe."

"Ehhhh! Now, it's not as though I don't want to help, it's just that... ouughh! These aching old hands of mine are so worn out and spent, they're much better suited to lifting the pages of nice magazines I get from Earth than they are lifting a finger to spit out some Creation magic!"

"I see. Then I shall at once find a new sword for you."

"But I guess it wouldn't hurt for me to try anyway is what I'm actually saying!" Old Kai stammered out.

"That's the spirit! Just you wait, we'll have Universe 7 as the top rated by Mortal Level in no time!"
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"Killing Frieza would go a long ways to helping that." Shin mumbled.

"Oh, but don't you want to see what a finale it will be when those three Saiyans on my planet face him together? I wouldn't want to miss it."

"I hate to interrupt these charming back and forths, Lord Beerus, but we've arrived at the next planet I had in mind."

"Hopefully this time they actually have some grub. Let's go see."

~~~

>>> SELECT A PLANET TO VISIT
>Planet Bounts
>Planet Algone
>Frieza Clan Rebel Colony G-4
>Planet Ooanmit
>Planet Loqu
>Planet Blubbier
>Nebula 451M5
>Planet Cinndorell
>Planet Salal
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>>6071755
>Planet Salal
That name sounds...oddly familiar.
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>>6071755
>Frieza Clan Rebel Colony G-4
I'm hungry for ice cream
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>>6071755
>Planet Loqu
i get the feeling this one might actually have something nice.
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>>6071755
>Planet Loqu
Loqu, Loqur, Liquor
We're drinking today!

Also, what's the lowest possible rating we can give a planet without blowing it up?
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>>6071755
>Planet Loqu
Eh, the Goboxians had it coming. Sooner or later. Poor frogs.

>>6071814
Come on anon, you don't want to spoil the joy of discovery!
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>>6071880
(phonepoasting)
I don't want to come off as a whiny bitch, but like, while I wasn't here for the vote, I thought only 1 star was destruction, and at least two other anons were under the impression that only a 1-star was the rating needed for a destruction unless we're gonna go Judge them in the afterlife too...

Then again, the place was a black market haven, and they kinda fucked themselves hard by not even trying to also make some sort of insect dish that was optional or some shit. Motherfuckers could have at least tried to whip up some Escargot or something similar.

...Maybe I am a whiny bitch.
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>>6071814
>>6071880
perhaps 3, since it's decent
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>>6071755
>>Planet Salal
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>>6071964
This would be about right, though decent may still net the "only half this time" treatment. Anything less than decent is unacceptable for Lord Beerus of course.
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>>6072092
To be absolutely fair, an intergalactic tradehub SHOULD have a wider variety of cuisine available than what Crog presented (not to mention the ability to recognize a foreign mammal like Beerus probably wouldn't care for mucus beer). That they didn't after being notified ahead of time just demonstrates their headassery and lack of respect for Beerus.
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A red world lied below. It had harsh and heavy winds carrying dust that buffeted the Destroyer as he descended quick through the atmosphere. The whipping haboobs nearly blew off the fashionable collar around his neck, which he caught quickly. He made haste, shooting down to the ground in a second, grunting as Whis had still somehow beaten him there.

"This place is quite sweltering Whis."

"Indeed. Planet Loqu is one of the naturally hottest planets in the universe that isn't a magma world due to the proximity it has to its red dwarf parent star. The native Loquas people are adapted to its harsh conditions. Only the hardiest of other races can bear the conditions long without needing some form of protection." Whis explained.

"Maybe they have something spicy they cook up on this dust ball then! I... hm? Whis, what is that?"

"Oh, that?" Whis looked over.

Ahead of them was a great series of canyons, in which the Loquas made their homes. At the apex of their canyons was a ground that connected each together, tying them in one knot, and this ground was slightly sunken. A crater dug into the bedrock, a massive lookout palace nestled atop it.

"That's where we're headed. The planet's speaker is there. It's much like the lookout on Earth, isn't it?"

"So this planet has a Guardian, huh?"

"It would seem so. He is expecting us."

When they arrived, Beerus gazed forward at the old man leaning against a tree, waiting for someone. Possibly him.

The alien was red skinned, he had ridges that were lighter in complexion, and the sides of his head were decked with two horns curved up, three holes in the side. Presumably what they heard with.

He approached meekly, carrying himself with some difficulty. The old man looked up at his guests.

"We have the stimulant boosters ready. Three shipments, as asked. Did you bring the money?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"...Oh... Wait... You're the other one."

"Expecting more company, Loquas?"

"...Yes. Just some business..." He said, before falling to his knees. The elderly Loquas bowed his head; "I beg your forgiveness, Lord Beerus. My sight is not what it used to be."

Another Loquas approached, a much younger one. This one was mute. He gestured with his hands, making signs in ASL.

"Whis, what is that one doing?"

"That would be sign language. He is introducing himself and apologizing on behalf of his master. He says his name is Divel, and this is his master, the former Guardian of Planet Loqu, Paihmon. He bids us warm welcome. Hm! Warm welcome indeed." Whis said as he fanned himself with his hand.
>>
Beerus squinted as Paihmon rose and stood before him with his servant. It was a squint of suspicion.

"Former Guardian, you say? Mmm... Now that I think about it, you do not possess Godly Ki. Can you sense me?"

"No sir. I cannot. Were you not in front of me, you would be invisible." Paihmon said.

"I see. Well, how does one come to be a "former Guardian" anyway?"

"Well, sir, it is because I was demoted from my position by King Kai."

"Demoted, huh..."

Paihmon nodded. Beside him, Divel began making signs again, and Whis translated.

"He says that since the Guardian of Loqu was demoted, another one was never able to be promoted, as Guardians usually handpick their successors."

"North Kai left you in the dust then."

"Guardians of planets are many. A great deal of them do not actually bother to report to North Kai in the first place. They are simply left to their own devices to oversee their world... Say, if you do not mind me asking, but how is it that you were demoted in the first place?"

Paihmon seemed a bit guilty to admit this. "I was demoted after... the first time I reported to King Kai, sir. Ever since then, I have still remained overseer of the planet, if only by the will of my people."

"Interesting..."

"We have prepared our people's cultural edibles for your sampling within the hall, sirs. May I invite you inside?"

>Now hold it just a minute. What does a Guardian who is still held in high regard by his planet have to do to get demoted instantly by North Kai the moment he bothers to make a report? It's very fishy... (1+ HAKAI)
>Right then. Show us what you got Loquas. Don't care about anything else besides that food, none of our business anyway. (1+ MERCY)
>>
>>6072114
>>Right then. Show us what you got Loquas. Don't care about anything else besides that food, none of our business anyway. (1+ MERCY)
Shin's problem, not ours!
>>
>>6072114
>>Now hold it just a minute. What does a Guardian who is still held in high regard by his planet have to do to get demoted instantly by North Kai the moment he bothers to make a report? It's very fishy... (1+ HAKAI)
>>
>>6072114
>Now hold it just a minute. What does a Guardian who is still held in high regard by his planet have to do to get demoted instantly by North Kai the moment he bothers to make a report? It's very fishy... (1+ HAKAI)
I am curious... CURIOUS, indeed.
>>
>>6072113
>making signs in ASL.
Alien sign language ?
>>6072114
>Now hold it just a minute. What does a Guardian who is still held in high regard by his planet have to do to get demoted instantly by North Kai the moment he bothers to make a report? It's very fishy... (1+ HAKAI)
I'm a curious fella
>>
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"Hold on." Beerus said, stopping the Loquas in their tracks. The two of them glanced back at him, unnerved.

"A deity doesn't get demoted all the time. There's something off about what you've told me. You must have done something to provoke the ire of North Kai. Even though you've been promoted, your people still look up to you. So what is it? What did you tell North Kai?"

"Er... Uhhhur..."

The elderly Loquas held his breath, trying to think of what he should say.

"It is what I did that made King Kai unsatisfied with my position."

"He doesn't usually look down on anything besides outright threatening to destroy a planet or bring terror. What could it be?"

"..."

Paihmon breathed in and exhaled.

"We assist the Planet Trade Organization by supplying their army."

"That's Frieza's Empire then."

"Ughhh! Why is it always Frieza Frieza Frieza! Frieza this, Frieza that..."

"Well," The voice of Shin suddenly came through the air; "I wonder WHY that heartless tyrant is alive and well and still running amok amongst the cosmos freely, even after he almost caused Earth to be destroyed at Broly's hands!"

Beerus grumbled.

"We were never attacked by the Frieza Force. Before that could happen, I intervened and negotiated a deal with the Planet Trade Organization on behalf of the people. I admit, I acted without their consent, but my timely actions are what spared Planet Loqu devastation." Paihmon said, raising his hands, wracked with guilt; "Our planet is ripe with a crystal compound that could be crushed down into a stimulant drug. This drug, once taken, seems to enhance everything. A person's physique, their movement, reaction, thinking, and even control over energy to absurd levels for a time. As you can imagine, the Frieza Force now enjoys plenty of use of it thanks to our exports. In return for supplying them with units, we get to stay independent, and they give us counterfeit funds for the galactic exchange. We use those to... pay our ridiculously high taxes to the Galactic King."
>>
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"That's a lot of explaining I don't really care about."

"Erh... I'll get to the point then, sire. I wasn't sure what to do after the deals were made. I thought there was some way to perhaps find a new solution, so I reported to King Kai and confided in him. When he wasn't able to give me any ideas, I had no choice but to affirm my decision to continue our deal to retain peace. King Kai was dissatisfied and told me I was supporting evil. So I was demoted by him. My lookout fell to the ground then."

"That clears that up then. You should know that corruption among the gods is a rather serious offense nowadays... I seem to recall how such things have had consequences in the past..."
>>
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"Eh, but it doesn't make a difference to me. You'll get your judgment on the Snake Way. For now, let's see if your planet will earn the right to continue to exist or not."

"Follow me please, sir."

Paihmon and Divel led the Destroyer and Whis into the hall of their fallen lookout. The floor was only slightly tilted, since the lookout was sitting in a crater. Barely noticeable, yet apparent looking at the floor ahead.

Beerus closed his eyes a second as he thought. 'Maybe I should destroy Frieza already... it'd be amusing if nothing more to see him try to resist in his arrogant shade of gold he likes to play dress up in... Hmm, maybe.'

He blinked and looked forward. The silent one named Divel was pulling a seat out for him at a table that had been set ahead with a white draping. Sitting down at the table with Whis, he sniffed the air.

"I smell something."

"It is quite a strong smell, isn't it?"

"That would be the smell of our root spice, sires." Paihmon said. He snapped his finger, and Divel went to the side, pulling a cart forward.

The guest hall was lit by wall sconces and natural light pouring in from the opening in the ceiling. It reflected a dull shine off the bronze metal of the square tray that Divel set before Beerus. The manservant lifted the cover, revealing the meal.

"Oooh."

"Now this is an interesting looking dish."

"It is a common dinner that Loquas enjoy, sires. We eat all of our meals with a healthy portion of spice." Paihmon said, motioning towards the orange little mountain contained in a cup shaped like the half of an egg.

"Mm. What are these red things? They look like meat but it looks raw."

"Those are the pan seared breasts of a Lavaloq, sire. Lavaloqs are a mammal with hide so tough, they bathe in magma. We hunt them by striking at the soft throats. The fact is, their meat is always very warm already, but somewhat dry. We make it juicy by soaking it in an extract we get from Cave Lems, a type of citrus fruit. We cook them traditionally by setting the pan on top of hot magma coals."

"And these things?"

"Bread rolls made from plains rye that grows in the non-volcanic wastes. Heavy precipitation is what we have to thank for the rye fields sprouting."

"And this?"

"That is Bloodcheese."

"B-... Bloodcheese...?!"

Paihmon nodded.

"It is also made from Lavaloqs. There aren't many animals on this planet. We have to make due with every part of the Lavaloq. The Bloodcheese is whipped blood with offworld flour, eggs from our planet's birds, and milk. We melt cheese made from dust goats on the mix and cook it in pots."

Beerus pointed at the orange powder, and looked up at the elder.

"Magma spice made from the roots of ashtrees that grow close to our volcanoes. It's very hot."
>>
"..."

"What's wrong, Lord Beerus?"

"I did say I expected these people to make something spicy... but..."

"Come now, you aren't intimidated by a little spicy food, are you?"

"..." Beerus glared at Whis.

The last thing he wanted was a repeat of the wasabi incident...

"If I may... the seared Lavaloq breasts can be consumed without magma spice. Although, the recommended way to enjoy the meal is to cover the juicy breast in the spice, give it a nice orange coat and then eat it. The powdery coat compliments the meat when you chew it."

"I'm sure it tastes good. Why not give it a try and enjoy it the optimal way to eat it, Lord Beerus?"

Beerus growled and stared at the Loquas cultural dish.

>Fine. It can't be too spicy.
>You try it first, Whis!
>>
>>6072260
>Fine. It can't be too spicy.
>>
>>6072260
>You try it first, Whis!
What a fascinating premise for a quest. I'm in!
>>
>>6072260
>>Fine. It can't be too spicy.
>>
>>6072260
>You try it first, Whis!
I normally don't like Beerus but this caught my attention isn't Frieza black by now though?
>>
>>6072260
>Fine. It can't be too spicy.
C'mon, we're a God of Destruction... it'll be fine, surely.
>>
>>6072260
>Fine. It can't be too spicy.
>>
>>6072260
>Fine. It can't be too spicy.
Unless, y'know, it's LITERALLY hot.
>>
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"It can't be anymore spicy than wasabi was for me."

Beerus grabbed the long fork before him on the table. First, he decided to bite into one of the rye rolls. He crunched the bread in his mouth, feeling it crumble from its smooth outer shape into grains that were a little crunchy, just pleasantly so, on his tongue.

"Mm. Very... mm, earthy and crisp."

And then he scooped up a slab of the Bloodcheese, warily looking at how peeled away from the serving with a very stringy composition, lightly tugging on it to free it. It was soft and mushy, like a jam. It was somewhat worrisome to look at, considering it's made with blood. It's not the blood part that disturbs the God, it's the fact they put cheese with it. Blood has a savory flavor, generally speaking. And goat cheese can either be milky or zesty.

"Ahgm... mp-"

Paihmon exchanged a glance with Divel, as Beerus lifted his chin and swallowed.

"It's not stellar..."

"Understandable. Not many that aren't Loquas tend to enjoy Bloodcheese."

"Ehhh, the flavors are just... contrasting one another. The consistency is very rude to my mouth as well. I can take melty cheese but throwing that on whipped blood seems plain wrong. Oh, I forgot to ask, what is this?"

"In the cup? Just water. Normal water, sir."

"Very well. Let's see about this Lavaloq meat then." He said, grabbing the knife to his left and cutting the meat through; "Oh, now that's interesting. The meat seems to be like strips or ribbons, but it's still attached to the softer underside of the breast. It's quite resilient but oozing this juice you cook it in."

Beerus lifted the cut chunk and bit down, sucking at the air on his lips, not missing any of the juice as he chewed on the red meat, speaking in between chews; "Mhf, that's-hnm... quite delectable. It tastes almost like veal-hn-and-.... mhf, is somehow... Grlp! Juicier than it. Bravo."

"...But now comes the moment of truth."

He set the knife down after cutting another chunk of the breast off and grabbed a small spoon set out, and carefully, took off the very top of the Magma Spice. He dumped the orange glitter on top of his chunk, and again and again.

"If I may, you may also rub it into the meat with the bottom of the spoon."

"Right." He did just that, before holding it up to his mouth with his fork; "Let's see what Loquas "spicy" really is. Mmah-hmm!"

Whis anticipated his reaction, he wanted to see this. The Angel watched intently as his charge chewed the meat slathered in spice powder.
>>
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And the reaction was just what Whis was looking forward to!

"MMHN! HNN...!"

"Oh? Lord Beerus, is everything alright?"

"HNGNNN! RRRRNNNNN!"

"I trust the spice isn't too offensive, my lord?" Whis grinned.
>>
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Beerus sprang up, grabbing the water and throwing it down his mouth, he practically absorbed the whole cup in an instant.

...but his mouth and nostrils! Still, they burned!

"GHRMMK! GHHH!"

Paihmon and Divel both looked astonished, and on edge.

"Ouh... Sir, is everything alright?"

Without even needing to be asked, the sign language speaker grabbed a whole jug of water and handed it to Beerus, who snatched it out of his hands and began chugging.

"GBWOUGH! ...Haaahh... haaahhh... hahhh.... hahhh..."

Beerus panted, the redness on his face somewhat cooling off.

"Oh ho ho ho ho!"

"S-Sir..."

Paihmon stepped forward.

"Sir, if I may ask... did you dislike our fiery cultural dinner?"

"L-Let me think!"

Beerus shook his head and wiped the beads of sweat off his brows...

'That Bloodcheese was icky. Too much fatty acid cheese ruining a perfectly good whipped blood batter they could have used to make something better with like say... pancakes. If they had simply left the cheese solid, then I'd have appreciated that as another kind of side, since it's zesty as I predicted. The rye bread was quite earthy, but you could get the same thing from Earth, probably in way more variety. Now, the seared breasts on the other hand were actually good. It's a shame they tarnish such a juicy lump of chewable meat with that powerful powder. I only took a quarter of it, any more and Whis would have to stop me from rampaging! Hmmm...'

>How many stars is Loquas Cultural Dinner?
>>
>>6072312
4, taking into account their resourcefulness with such a limited supply of things to work with. Order Shin to give these people some more lifeforms already! They'll rival Earth in no time if they actually have variety to utilize.
>>
>>6072312
>3.5! I'd be willing to go up to 4 if those spices were... perfected. The bread is fine but that cheese, eeeugh.
>>
>>6072312
Hmm... I'll say...
>4
Because their biodiversity with which to actually make food is abysmal but we did genuinely enjoy most of the meal.
>>
>>6072312
>3.5
Both other anons are right, and maybe we should get them to sell their crystals to the Galactic Patrol instead of the Frieza force
>>
>>6072312
I'd say 3 stars. They fucked up hard on the prepwork for the cheese, and the less said about the spice, the better. Also, are you really going to serve something you know is super spicy, and not provide milk, for the CAT GOD!? I'm tempted to knock it down a star solely for their stupidity in that aspect.
Can't have even more morons running around the galaxy, there's enough already...

Still, the Rye bread is good, if nothing special, the water wasn't pressed through their pores or something, and the unspiced meat is wonderful.

...Also, if I want to be "kind" I guess it'd be hard to stop cheese from melting on a lava world, but still, you'd think they would at least experiment with cooling it down in the wake of Us/You coming around.

Also, I second
>>6072324
the thing on the Galactic Patrol getting the supply of Lava Cocaine from now on.
>>
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"No. In fact I'm rather impressed you've managed to make something I actually found good qualities in, with your limited amount of things to work with. I just can't stand what you do with your cheese, and your spice. Also, I did not forget where you mentioned having milk, and yet still chose to give me water for this meal. I'll be generous and give you a... three and a half stars."

"S... Stars?"

"Oh, it's a rating system of mine. Don't mind it too much."

"So, do you mean to say that...?"

"Yes. I'll spare your planet, Loquas. Here's hoping that you'll improve in the future. You never know if I may visit again."

Paihmon and Divel both breathed a sigh of relief. Like an ocean of weight on their backs just lifted.

Beerus raised his two fingers at himself and opened wide.

"Haaaaaaa-ghhkai."

...Instantly, the redness on his face vanished.

"Hm? Why do I forget I can do that...? Anyways, still, I have to destroy something. That spice was and Bloodcheese was blegh!"

"Urh... W-What do you intend to destroy, sir?"

"Hmm... Your system is surrounded by a small asteroid belt, isn't it? Your planet is safe from asteroids because of the one gas giant you happen to have to absorb it all... Well, former Guardian, I hope you're at least still strong enough to destroy a measly space rock."

"...Huh?"

Beerus snapped his fingers.
>>
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"A shame they don't have more to work with, wouldn't you agree?"

"Hm. Honestly, I'd think many of these races wouldn't lack biodiversity if a certain someone didn't have a lax policy when it comes to creating life, Whis. Those Loquas did what they could in a pinch." Beerus said, viewing the nova of the exploding gas giant below before he placed his hand on Whis' back.

"Onto the next planet then." Whis said before the tap of his staff sent them into his warp.

~~~

>>> SELECT A PLANET TO VISIT
>Planet Bounts
>Planet Algone
>Frieza Clan Rebel Colony G-4
>Planet Ooanmit
>Planet Blubbier
>Nebula 451M5
>Planet Cinndorell
>Planet Salal
>>
>>6072336
>Frieza Clan Rebel Colony G-4
that's what I get for not updating the thread. anyway, time for some ice cream.
>>
>>6072336
>Frieza Clan Rebel Colony G-4
We might as well get this out of the way early on.
>>
>>6072336
>Frieza Clan Rebel Colony G-4
>>
>>6072336
>Frieza Clan Rebel Colony G-4

My opinions is that If it's a rebel colony against Frieza we can go a bit easy on them. If it's Freiza starting up shit we should kidnap the good chefs, (if they have any, I doubt it) then slaughter the rest.

There's only room for one hairless destroyer of planets with purple energy blasts, and that's us, dammit!
>>
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Current points.
>>
Also QM, we're at 2 Hakai and 1 Mercy point so far, right?
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>>6072277
In the manga continuity, but we're using anime/Toei continuity for this. I haven't been following the manga since the Moro arc anyway, honestly.
>>
>>6072341
>>6072342
Whoops, sorry about that, shoulda refreshed quicker.
>>
The next planet was cold. For in fact, it was no planet, but the large moon of a gas giant in orbit around a yellow dwarf. The moon was home to a colony of one of the most infamous races in the universe. The rocky and cold grey surface was dotted with tall buildings of shiny metals mined in space, a veritable city standing as a technological marvel upon the surface. The bright neon lights of the astro civilization here gave the moon a pinkish sheen, and some artificial rivers of clear water ran across the surface, all feeding back into the city.

The colony was covered by a big dome of glass, to allow other species beyond the primary ones responsible for the colony to surface on it. A dome that Whis passed through like a ghost, landing in the middle of a plaza surrounded by these white towers of metal.

"We've arrived at the next planet, Lord Beerus."

"...Wait a minute, that architecture... I recognize it."

Realization slapped Beerus in the face.

"Then that means this place belongs to..."

"Welcome!"

Ahead, the metal doors of the largest tower opened, and out came stepping figures of three toes. One small, one tall. With swishing tails waving behind themselves, and armor built onto their bodies. There was no mistaking those familiar bio-suits and that purple skin.

"Frieza's race?!"

"It is an honor!" The shorter of the two delegates said, before taking a knee. He glanced up at his partner, and waved his hand to follow. The larger one sighed and stooped to bow slightly, refusing to kneel. Beerus already did not like that one.

"Ahem..." The shorter one came, standing up and putting a hand over his heart; "We are indeed of the same race as the hated tyrant Emperor name Frieza. We Clansmen here on Colony G-4 of the Rebel faction, however, have no connection to that villain. We, the Rebels, severed our ties to the bigger clan that rules the Planet Trade Organization long ago. I am the leader of the Rebel faction. My name is Consul Criyo."

Criyo gestured up to the larger figure. "And this is my little brother, the chief of security, Rifreejra."

"..." Again, the big one didn't acknowledge their guests, simply standing there with his chest puffed out, as if he were intimidating.
>>
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"Hmm. You call this colony "G-4". Does that mean there are more?"

"Well yes, but also no. Colonies G-1 and G-2 were both unfortunately wiped out long ago by that murderer, Cooler, and the Ginyu Force. Colony G-3 is hidden at the other end of the galaxy, opposite of this one. We all live in the shadows to avoid Frieza and cooperate with the Galactic Patrol."

"Your horns appear to be culled." Whis observed.

"We shave ours down as a symbol of our pacifist ideals. Frieza is usually known for his iconic horns, we who oppose him do not." Criyo said, rubbing the flat end of his horn.

"Frieza, Frieza, Frieza, Frieza, FRIEZA! How many times must I hear his wretched name today?!" Beerus suddenly blurted, to which Criyo winced and Rifreejra snorted.

"Uh-ehhehe.... Distasteful topic, Lord Beerus?"

"I've heard far too much rambling over Frieza today. You tailed dwarfs best have something that's going to soothe my taste buds for having to even come here."

"Watch your tongue, scum!" The tall one suddenly said, bearing a clenched fist.

Beerus leveled his gaze at the buffed up Clansman; "What did you just say?"

"R-RIFREEJRA!" Criyo said, a look of utter horror hiding behind his uneasy and strained smile he maintained; "That's no way to talk to our guest, who is the most powerful being in this universe!"

"I'll believe that when I see it!" Rifreejra said.

"Oh?"

Beerus frowned.

"Listen to me, outsider, we Clansmen of the Rebels have lived a hard life of oppression at the hands of the warlike and tyrannical, constantly hunted to the last for our peaceful ways! This colony's population is only in the hundreds. You are our guest, but be warned, if you dare to threaten us, I WILL face you." Rifreejra said.

"R-R-R-R-Rifreejra's just jumpy, L-Lord Beerus! I swear!" Criyo said, suddenly getting between his little brother and the God of Destruction; "W-We're just all paranoid a-and fearful is all! We've been attacked a lot by Frieza, you see! Ever since news broke of his resurrection! R-Rifreejra means nothing b-by it! I S-ss... S-SWEAR! Please have mercy on him! He knows not what he says!"

Beerus glared at Criyo, and the Frieza Clansman nearly broke then and there into full on sobbing. Whis was so amused right now.

>Clansman of Frieza's Clan, Beerus the Destroyer is a merciful and fair deity. But there is one thing, above all else, that Beerus will absolutely not tolerate in this world, and that is discourtesy, and a lack of tact and respect... (2+ HAKAI)
>Think you take on a God of Destruction, do you? Well, don't waste any time, Rifreejra! (3+ HAKAI!)
>Just this once... I shall let this slide. But the next time this brainless brute opens his mouth, you leave existence. Understood? (+2 MERCY)
>>
>>6072362
>"You talk a big game. I must admit, despite the disrespect, it has me curious about just how strong you really are. Show me that you've got the bite to back up that bark and I might not destroy you if you manage to surprise me."
He's a feisty one. Let's see if he can actually fight. I doubt it, but we can always hakai him if he ends up being a bore.
>>
>>6072362
>Just this once... I shall let this slide. But the next time this brainless brute opens his mouth, you leave existence. Understood? (+2 MERCY)
This idiot is of no more significance to us than an insect posturing at the sun. His only relevance is that he's of Frieza's race, and Frieza is beneath our contempt. He's not important enough to be insulted or challenged by.
>>
>>6072362
>Just this once... I shall let this slide. But the next time this brainless brute opens his mouth, you leave existence. Understood? (+2 MERCY)
>>
>>6072362
>Just this once... I shall let this slide. But the next time this brainless brute opens his mouth, you leave existence. Understood? (+2 MERCY)
>>
>>6072362
>Just this once... I shall let this slide. But the next time this brainless brute opens his mouth, you leave existence. Understood? (+2 MERCY)
>Just bring us the damn food and let me be off this wretched rock.
>>
>>6072362
>Think you take on a God of Destruction, do you? Well, don't waste any time, Rifreejra! (3+ HAKAI!)
We'll take the fiod as spoils of victory.
>>
>>6072362
>Just this once... I shall let this slide. But the next time this brainless brute opens his mouth, you leave existence. Understood? (+2 MERCY)
>>
>>6072362
>Just this once... I shall let this slide. But the next time this brainless brute opens his mouth, you leave existence. Understood? (+2 MERCY)

Man, we REALLY gotta do this stuff more consistently, maybe then we'd get people to pull their heads out of their asses and do this shit properly. At least the Pink Blob had the excuse of not knowing who you were and being a fat slob in general, these guys know that the guy they're rebelling against basically pisses himself at the thought of you fighting him, right? Good (You), we really need to ask the gods in charge of creation why everyone here is so dim-witted.

Maybe these idiots are under the impression that you're only obligated to blow up the planets, and not, y'know, the people along with it since they can survive in a vacuum.
>>
>>6072362
>Just this once... I shall let this slide. But the next time this brainless brute opens his mouth, you leave existence. Understood? (+2 MERCY)
>>
>>6072364
Gonna +1 this even though I know it aint winning, I gotta agree with
>>6072674
General sentiment though what the hell is with the idiocy at display across all these planets? Even preparation as simple as "not bringing your agitator of a brother to a potentially world ending meeting" seems lost on these people.
>>
>>6072747
Freiza's race are sort of notoriously arrogant, bullheaded jerks used to being treated like royalty, so I guess even their rebels come from that tradition.
>>
>>6072374
Bejitabro btw
>>
>>6072921
what was it ?
>>
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"Just this once... I shall let this slide. But the next time this brainless brute-" Beerus said, pointing at Rifreejra; "-opens his mouth, you leave existence. Understood?"

"Why you...!" Rifreejra said, stomping towards Beerus slowly. "How dare you threaten us?!"

"R-Rifreejra! Halt!" Criyo said.

"No brother! No one threatens us peaceful Clansmen and gets away with it! We've done away with the wicked bloodline's malevolence! We don't deserve such treatment! I am as powerful as Frieza is in his final form! I can take this so-called god on!"

Rifreejra came up, invading Beerus' personal space. He was pointing back.

"Who do you think you a- AAAARCH!"

The finger Beerus had not lowered moved up, his claw tracing the air. He simply flicked his finger in that direction, and the brutish Clansman's arm was instantly severed in twain. He cut his arm off from afar with a little Kiai, a basically invisible attack. His eyes never left Criyo as he did it.

"URGH!"

Rifreejra fell to his knees, clutching his severed arm in agony, his reddish-blue blood oozing out of the stump. Myriad gasps were heard from the nearby buildings and towers from spectators at the windows. Criyo was holding his mouth in pause.

"Frost Demon." Beerus said.

He addressed them now with a derogatory term used for their race. A racist remark. Criyo stood at attention, still shivering in horror.

"Understood?"

Criyo nodded slowly, tears welling up at the sides of his cowardly eyes. Beerus lifted his head, still piercing him with a stern gaze and lifted a hand to his ear.

"A-Absolute-l-ly, L-L-Lord B... Be-Beerus." Criyo stammered out.

"Good." Beerus smiled smugly. "Then let us proceed. I'm quite hungry, Frost Demon."

"Right this.... way..." Criyo said, ushering him into the doors ahead as he spared a sideways glance to his brother who had now fainted from the blood loss on the floor.
>>
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biwNs6P6bug

Beerus found himself entering an upscale dining room in the colony's administrative complex. He chuckled as that shorty, Criyo, wiped the edges of his eyes with a handkerchief before bowing and motioning to a seat he pulled out using a psychic grip.

"Please be seated, Lord Beerus. I shall fetch our offering right away..."

Beerus sat down, and eased himself up to the table. His ears twitched at the sound of a violin. Gazing right, he saw one of the female Frost Demons there playing one.

"Quite the impression they want to leave. These Frost Demons do enjoy their baroque atmosphere."

"It is natural to a race that has enjoyed galactic hegemony uninterrupted for a very, very long time. It's no surprise to me that even rebels of the race who disagree with how the wider clan treats different peoples too retains their imperial majesty." Whis commented.

"It's intoxicating." Beerus said as he saw Criyo return with two butlers. They sat their tray down on the table, and one by one set before him his meal. He sniffed; "It smells good."

"Thank you." Criyo said, taking it as a good sign. "What you see here is our race's favorite assortment of items from our menu, Lord Beerus. I have heard you have had... a history with Frieza in the past. As you might know from your prior experiences, us Clansmen enjoy a selection of shellfish species we cultivate as foodstuffs."

"I had never bothered to actually try what you Frost Demons consume before. Perhaps Frieza was too scared to invite me to his table."

"Cowardly as every tyrant, my Lord." Criyo said, as if he himself wasn't one.

"Hmm..."

Before Beerus was a plate and bowl of their strange items. The glass of wine was filled with some pink wine, it did remind him of how Frieza often was seen holding a glass such as this. The plate held a hefty serving of some bluish-green meat slathered in a pink sauce, held within its freshly steamed dark blue shell and sprinkled with a garnish. The bowl held these golden patties that were crisp and oozing some darker golden slime.

"So then, what have we here?"

"This is the most common dinner wine of our kind. A Croissœn-de-Chtuuo proper six. It is a fine wine with a tawny aftertaste. This main course is our famed Gliketh Shellfish. The Shellfish in particular is a species that, much like us, can survive in the vacuum. We can cultivate this species nearly anywhere. It's succulent meat is garnished with the leaves of a plant that grows on asteroids via solar energy and our creamy sauce squished from its brain matter."
>>
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"Over here, as a side, we have our golden Silketh crab cakes. Also a species that survives the vacuum, but can live off methane. The meat cakes are soft and squishy but the top is sizzled and grilled to perfection, leaving it crisp and crunchy. Their meat contains a slime they use as a pheromone, and while it is normally inedible, when cooked right it becomes a additive that gives the meat a honeyed taste since it absorbs like a sponge. I am positive you will enjoy it."

"Very well, let us put it to the test."

Beerus was first to grab one of those Silketh crab cakes, throwing the thing into his mouth.

"Hhnom! Mn." He chewed, feeling the soft meat squeeze out its pheromone substance as his teeth ground it. He swallowed, licking his lips; "Oooh. Now that IS pretty good. The soft underside compliments the more cooked top so well with that slime. It has a very honeyed taste that just feels so good in the mouth!"

"May I?" Whis asked, materializing himself a fork.

"Please, help yourself!" Beerus said, grabbing another one of the Silketh cakes.

Over to the side, Criyo smiled, hiding the confusing and painful feelings he had watching the serious deity that had just fatally injured his brother become so nonchalant and cheery over a dish. It was a bizarre flip in mood indeed...

"I say, this gives some things I've tasted on Earth a run for their money. In fact, it's even far lower in fat than Earth crabs are!"

"Now I want to try this big lump of meat. It looks like a huge tail of a shellfish, I bet it's sweet!"

Beerus sliced into the tail meat of the Gliketh with his knife and lifted his cut, stuffing it into his cheek.

"Oh!" He exclaimed, hastily cutting and eating more and more, until half the shell was empty.

The meat was so tender and the taste was delightful!

"It's like a cherry flavored butter over the firmer texture and juicy meat! I do say, it's quite good!" Beerus said before he sipped the wine. He stopped, looking up. "This wine however, it is dreadful. It tastes like chocolate, a darker kind. I don't like it. Did Frieza really drink this all the time?"

"There are some lighter wines. I admit, many of them may look the same until you actually tell the difference through taste." Criyo said.

"I don't have time to see your vineyard, however. This meal has sufficed." Beerus said, standing up.

"What is your final opinion, Lord Beerus?" Criyo asked with optimist anticipation.
>>
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"Hm..."

Beerus began thinking...

'The sheer disrespect I faced from that Frost Demon earlier is unforgivable. It would be highly uncharacteristic of me to forget that! I said I'd let it slide, but then, I only had to mean for the remainder of this visit, didn't I? I said nothing about letting it slide for my final judgment! However, their Frost Demon cuisine had spectacular flavor and texture! I should have forced Frieza to treat me to dinner years ago! Except for the wine. It sucked.'

>How many stars is Frieza Clan Wine and Shellfish?
>>
>>6073006
>How many stars is Frieza Clan Wine and Shellfish?
Four. Just like the fourth season of DBZA, coming never.
>>
>>6073006
3.5
Would have been a 5, but minus a half point for the wine, and another point for the disrespect
>>
>>6073010
Mmmm, it's a cuisine judgement, I'd go for a 4.
>>
>>6073006
>4
Minus one for disrespect.
>>
>>6073006
I'd say at least a 4 is fair. It's clear the wine is an acquired taste, everything else is fantastic, and we're judging on the meal overall.
>>
>>6073006
>4
it's pretty good, even if the wine was lacking
>>
>>6073006
>4
Between the faux-welcoming ambiance and subpar wine, it's not perfect, but it was indeed a fine-dining experience. Easily the best we've enjoyed so far.
>>
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"Your garnish added nothing, to be clear, and I did not like your wine at all. The meal was excellent." Beerus said, patting his tum. But then he narrowed his yellow eyes; "However, while I'd rate it four stars on my scale, your sibling's confrontational attitude did no favors to your moon. I'll delay it this time."

"D-Delay it, Lord Beerus?"

"The destruction, I mean." He said, a tiny speck of his Ki flickering into being on his claw.

"This one's more like a time bomb, set to go off in twenty four hours starting..." He watched as the trace of Ki fell to the floor, sinking right through it and into the moon below; "...now."

"You'd better start evacuating right away. The blast is going to be quite fierce when it goes off." Whis said, summoning his staff.

"O-Of course! Thank you very much for visiting us!" Criyo bowed.

Whis tapped his staff as Beerus leaned against his back, and the two vanishing into blue light. Criyo immediately scrambled and shouted to his comrades to sound the alarms.

"PREPARE THE SHIPS! PREPARE THE MOBILE BUILDING PLATFORMS! G-GET EVERYONE MOVING, NOW! QUICKLY!"
>>
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+2 Mercy Points.
+1 Hakai Point.

Current points.
>>
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Beerus grunted as he thought about something nagging at the back of his mind while Whis few through space.

~~~

>>> SELECT A PLANET TO VISIT
>Planet Bounts
>Planet Algone
>Planet Ooanmit
>Planet Blubbier
>Nebula 451M5
>Planet Cinndorell
>Planet Salal
>>
>>6073040
>Nebula 451M5
>>
>>6073040
>Planet Ooanmit
Perhaps there's some of that uumami flavour everyone raves about here.
>>
>>6073040
>Nebula 451M5
>>
>>6073040
>Planet Algone
funny name
>>
>>6073040
>Planet Cinndorell
>>
>>6073040
>Nebula 451M5
Here's hoping a whole ass Nebula has some variety
>>
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"..."

"Whis, we should spar again some time."

The Angel attendant looked over his shoulder at his charge. He was surprised to hear that, a spark of intrigue in his eyes.

"Really now?"

"Yes. I think I might get rusty if I don't. Do you think if we asked nicely, the Grand Minister would let us use the world of void to let loose at full power? Maybe even rebuild the arena for the tournament so there's something to stand on."

"Hm. Perhaps. Although, father may be content with your current power level as is, so it might take some convincing. If I were to ask Vados to talk to him with me, there's no doubt he would agree, so long as you could bear having Champa there as well."

"Rghh! I'd rather not see his portly self if I'm training. He'll say all kinds of things and we'll get into a fight that distracts me."

"Well, a proper fight against another God of Destruction may be worthwhile. It wouldn't be taboo in the Null Realm. No universes are endangered there." Whis says, looking forward again. "Hmm... But I wonder, what has you so insecure that you feel the need to try growing stronger anyway."

Beerus grumbled and turned around, staring into the back of Whis' head with a frantic frown. "I'm not insecure about anything!"

"Certainly? Hmm... Goku did say Broly might be stronger than you, my lord." Whis teased with a smile.

"Hmph. I'm not worried about that overgrown kid. He has trouble controlling his powers anyway. He still considers Frieza a threat. When he matures and learns how to control that might, he might finally be a challenge for me. Besides, Goku's never seen my full might either, though he's came close. No..."

Beerus crossed his arms. He squinted, his mind wandering onto the image of power he was thinking of.

"...I've seen a summit, Whis."

"Summit?"

"A peak that utterly eclipses me. It's something that froze me solid like ice witnessing it. But now that the shock and trauma has passed, I feel compelled... possessed even, but a new desire brewing within to climb that summit, and stand above it..."
>>
"..."

"...That is all."

"When it comes to training, it is helpful to have a goal in mind, Lord Beerus. What were you thinking of?"

Beerus touched his cheek, and then let let his arm fall to his side. He had a look of confidence in his face as he turned to Whis.

"I want to master Ultra Instinct at last, Whis."

Instantly, the two fell out of their warp, stopping in the middle of the space's cold vacuum. Stars shined in the distance as Whis swiveled and faced Beerus with a serious, appraising look. Beerus held his stance and own serious expression. This was a truly serious matter.

"In all your years, you have not managed to do this. Your emotional state has always thwarted you."

"If Goku can achieve it... I can too."

"Gods of Destruction have trouble for a reason, Beerus." Whis said to provoke him even more.

Beerus managed to resist the urge to feel annoyance. "Then I want to be the first." he instead stated.

Whis faced back in the direction he was headed and tapped his staff. The two of them took off once more in warp flight.

"Then we can try again, and see if this time will finally be the time. But for now, we continue with what we were doing." Whis told him; "We'll arrive any second now."
>>
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"Ah. We're here."

Whis lifted his staff, and the both of them exited the flow of the warp tunnel.

"Arrived at the destination, Lord Beerus."

"This is a nebula."

"Astutely observed."

"No, I mean, this is the middle of a literal nebula, Whis! There's nothing here! It's just a bunch of gas! It smells!"

"Not so fast. This is the right place. You see, Nebula 451M5 is the smallest nebula in the galaxy. It was formed as a supernova remnant from a dying star over sixty million years ago. It's still expanding kilometers every second. It is also populated."

"By what? What could survive these conditions besides Fri... the Frost Demons?"

"Sparksmans."

Beerus raised an eyebrow.

"They are a sedentary and highly eccentric species that normally hangs around stars. But the Sparksmen here are the biggest concentration. In fact, I even believe they're officially signed on with the Galactic Patrol." Whis raised a finger. Then he looked to the right; "And here comes one now."

Beerus rubbed his eyes as what looked like a pure pillar of electricity floated on up to them in the nebula expanse. It was yellow, like a living bolt of lightning, blinking the three eerie eyes it had.

"WELCOME TO NEBULA FOUR FIFTY ONE M-FIVE!" It buzzed. Beerus already found it highly annoying.

"Are you the representative of this worl-... well, Nebula?"

"...?"

"NO. I'M JUST A RANDOM SPARKSMAN."

"..."

"Oh. Excuse me. Are you not the Sparksman Leader? I was sure I informed him of the arrival of Beerus the Destroyer."

"HE'S DISPERSED."

"Dispersed?"

"YEAH. US SPARKSMANS DISPERSE OUR BODIES AT RANDOM PERIODS TO COLLECT GAS AND MATERIAL. OUR ELECTRICAL CURRENTS WILL FLOW IN EVERY DIRECTION, AND EVENTUALLY REVERSE POLARITY BACK TO OUR CENTRAL CORTEX."

"And how long does this take exactly?"

"IN YOUR NON-SPARKSMAN TERMS, IT WOULD USUALLY TAKE A SOLAR CYCLE FOR IT TO FINISH. THERE COULD BE HUNDREDS OF SPARKSMEN ALL AROUND YOU IN A DISPERSED STATE FEEDING RIGHT NOW!"

"Do you think Beerus the Destroyer is going to wait eleven years right here just for your leader to return to tangible shape? I came here expecting to sample the cuisine of an exotic alien culture, NOT STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF A ELECTRICAL PERSON'S GIANT FEEDING TROUGH!"

"WELL YOU CAN JUST EAT NOW."

"What am I supposed to eat exactly?!"
>>
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"WELL, YOU CAN DO WHAT WE DO, AND DRINK THE LIGHTNING THAT THE NEBULA PRODUCES, AND THE SOLAR WIND FROM THE EJECTA'S CENTER."

"You want me to consume the Nebula itself? Are you mad?!"

"YER A GOD, AIN'T YA?"

"Just because I have the express perk of being divinity does not mean I want to eat your dead star.
>>
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"WELL, THERE'S ALSO THESE."

The Sparksman pointed down below. There was something floating in the currents of the nebula's gravity. Fragments of rock... or a planet? Perhaps there were planets that were blown to bits orbiting it when the star that made this nebula underwent supernova. The Sparksman beckoned the duo down towards it. It shocked Beerus to see something actually growing on the fragment.

Fungi. Bio-luminescent fungi.

"And what do you call this? How is this even growing in these harsh conditions?"

"WE NEVER GAVE THEM A NAME. WE JUST CALL THEM SHROOMS. WE SELL THEM TO THE FLESHIES. THEY HAVE TO DECONTAMINATE THEM OF RADIATION BUT THEY SAY THEY TASTE GOOD, ALTHOUGH WE SPARKSMEN CAN'T ACTUALLY EAT THEM."

"If this is all you have then I might as well just destroy you all now."

"WAIT, HOLD ON! DON'T KNOCK IT UNTIL YA TRY IT!"

>No. (1+ HAKAI)
>...Fine. (1+ MERCY)
>>
>>6073173
>...Fine. (1+ MERCY)
gotta taste anything we can and since the only thing mortals have to watchout for is radiation, perhaps this can even be as tasteful as a candy
>>
>>6073173
>...Fine. (1+ MERCY)
>"But I want you to roast it at least. "Cuisine" implies a prepared meal, not just random raw ingredients."
>>
>>6073173
>...Fine. (1+ MERCY)
I really want to see Beerus try to actually eat the nebula
>>
>>6073173
>...Fine. (1+ MERCY)
>"I want you to at least decontaminate it first, put at least a modicum of effort into preserving your continued existence."
We blow them up if they don't have the dignity to do that. If this is how they treat YOU, they are absolutely going to ignore the shit out of the other Kais if they ever need something important, and they won't even smite the sparky shitheads for it, the wet blankets.

Also, a quick meta tangent. Good lord, we probably did them a favor by killing off Rifjeejra if he had any position of importance. He claims to be as strong as Freeza, yet dies from a simple arm loss!?

Like, fuck, Freeza saga Freeza was literally beaten black and blue, exhausted his stamina to the point where he wasn't able to maintain his final form properly anymore, literally cut himself in half, and was still able to talk, simply needing a Chi/Ki boost in order to survive, implying that if cut himself in half at the start he'd be more or less fine. And then even after that, he got fucking blasted into oblivion by a Kamehameha, and was STILL able to be saved without needing Senzu.

There's being arrogant, there's misreading strength, there's pulling a typical early Dragon Ball villain goof of underestimating Goku, there's doing a Cell-saga fuckup, there's doing a typical Vegeta, there's doing a Cell-saga Vegeta, and then there's whatever the fuck we just witnessed, which is so comically stupid, it'd be only comparable if Hercule decided to have a literal deathmatch with Buu all of a sudden.
>>
>>6073186
>He claims to be as strong as Freeza
He may well be as strong as Frieza WAS, but now? Highly unlikely.
The general galactic population is probably unaware of just how much stronger Frieza's become thanks to the fact that he was already lightyears ahead of 99.9999% of sentients.
Funny enough, Rifreejra is probably one of the (relatively) few sentients who would actually be able to perceive Frieza's growth. He's also probably one of the few people that might be able to match Frieza's potential, but I digress.
This implies their rebel colony is either isolated as all hell and out of the loop OR Frieza's yet to show off his true power outside of his spats with the Saiyans of Earth. Or both maybe, who knows?
>>
>>6073173
>...Fine. (1+ MERCY)
>>
>>6073186
>which is so comically stupid, it'd be only comparable if Hercule decided to have a literal deathmatch with Buu all of a sudden.
Hey, Mr. Satan is a good and honorable teacher! He wouldn't just kill his student that came from another planet to train under him for no reason like that!
>>
>>6073227
Maybe he had some sort of complex about it since his name is kinda close to Freeza's if you think about it...
>>
>>6073173
>...Fine. (1+ MERCY)
Maybe it'll be delicious... maybe...

>>6073186
>>6073177
+1 to requesting the sparkmen prepare it somehow
>>
"Hrrgnnn... Fine."

"AWESOMESAUCE!"

"Is that something you put on these shrooms?"

"OH, NO, IT'S JUST A PHRASE THE GALACTIC PATROL PEOPLE USE. WE KINDA PICK UP THOSE THINGS, Y'KNOW? ANYWAY, THESE MUSHROOMS GROW BECAUSE OF THE COSMIC RAYS OUR NEBULA EXERTS."

"Hold on. Can you at least clear the radioactivity from it first? I don't like the way radiation tastes. It's very... dreary."

"When did you taste something radioactive before?"

"It happened at least in the last thirty thousand years or so, I think about twenty nine thousand years ago. Remember that race of hostile reptilians on that one planet in the southern quadrant? They slipped a miniature nuclear bomb into that soap they gave me thinking it would kill me."

"Oh yes, now I remember. You got so mad that South Kai had to beg you not to destroy his galactic group. Funny you could remember that, but not the Super Saiyan God's legend very well."

"Watch it!"

"OKAY, ALL DONE. I'VE SUCKLED ALL THE RADIATION OUT OF THIS MUSHROOM!"

"Ew, I don't want to put something that's been in your mouth into mine!"

"Now you're just being silly. He doesn't really have a mouth, he's made of pure energy."

"E-EH... ALL I DID WAS MORE OR LESS SINK IT INTO MYSELF!"

"Whatever, just give me the mushroom." Beerus said, reaching down and snatching the one the Sparksman had cleaned up. He threw it back into his mouth, and crunched it. It was hard as a rock.

"WOAH!"

His ears and tail both stood erect, straight as an arrow.

"That's some seriously good stuff!"

"DO YOU REALLY LIKE IT?"

"It's like peanut brittle but it tastes like cotton candy from Earth! Quick, clean some more off for me!"

"If I may..." Whis said, waving his staff.

All radioactivity for a hundred feet was washed away by an unseen aura, and the mushrooms severed at the stems on the patch below, floating up towards Whis' hand. He opened his palm, and used magic to materialize a striped white and red little square bucket, which he gathered the mushrooms into before handing it to Beerus.

"Whis, you're a genius! It's like a new kind of concession stand snack from a theater! Just like that one Bulma took us to!" Beerus said, in the tone of a teenage girl crushing over a male celebrity whilst clutching a magazine featuring his bust.

"Truly." Came Whis, who had one himself; "It's got the pleasant crunch of a hard candy and tastes of a raspberry, vanilla and strawberry mix. Oh my!"
>>
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The Sparksman was flabbergasted at how happy they had both suddenly become. His distended electrical finger was scratching the top of his sizzling head when it hit him! They've become distracted from the very prospect of possibly destroying the Nebula! And it might not be a good idea to remind dear Beerus... and so slowly, he slunk back, and dispersed his electrical currents to distribute himself to the space and disappear.

"I can still feel the taste on my teeth when I lick them! Aha! I'm gonna call it Neblooms from now on since it blooms only in Nebulae!"

>How many stars is Neblooms?
>>
>>6073261
>4 Stars. If they can get this stuff into the hands of a real chef down the line, it might just stand on even footing with Earth's confections.
>>
>>6073261
>5 Stars! Produce more, NOW!
>>
>>6073261
>5 Stars
>>
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"Aha! Five stars! Five stars for sure!"

"So it's Earth tier then?"

"Hm. Well, if you told me it came from Earth I would have believed you. It's a good snack to be sure but I still have yet to see a planet out there that truly rivals Earth."

"I think I'll take the rest of these and store them for later. Since they're almost like hard candy, they shouldn't go bad. Maybe for once I can bring Bulma and the others a treat and not the other way around." Whis said, twirling his finger to shuffle a number of the Neblooms into a pocket dimension.

"Hm. Where did that talking lightning bolt go? Never matter. I'll spare this nebula. It earned it. Now, Whis."

"Off we go!"
>>
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Extra MERCY point earned for successful five star review.

~~~

>>> SELECT A PLANET TO VISIT
>Planet Bounts
>Planet Algone
>Planet Ooanmit
>Planet Blubbier
>Planet Cinndorell
>Planet Salal
>>
>>6073291
>Planet Salal
>>
>>6073291
>Planet Salal
>>
>>6073291
>Planet Salal
>>
>>6073141
>daring to stand against Jiren
Folly, reckless folly!

>>6073291
>Planet Salal
These aliens have been interesting so far.
>>
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As Beerus and Whis traveled, somewhere across Universe 7...
>>
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...they felt a gigantic power suddenly flare up out of nowhere with brevity for the quickest of seconds.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jH1QLtYRLIo
>>
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"Whis... did you feel that?" Beerus said over his shoulder, curious and concerned.

"Quite. I did feel that. That was very odd now, wasn't it?"

"What was that, Whis? That power just now I sensed... it felt familiar somehow. It was like another me just decided to use fifty percent out of nowhere."

"Well, it was quite easy to sense. I'm sure most beings able to in the universe would have. It was not Godly Ki, that much is for sure."

"Was it that Broly? The one training on my planet with Goku and Vegeta right now? Did he lose control again?! Or was it that boy of Goku's. I did hear he unlocked some crazy power of his own recently. You even told me it would pose a very good challenge to myself."

"I'm positive that wasn't Gohan just now. Unless Earth is under attack again, which I'm fairly certain it's not, he wouldn't have a reason to just power up out of nowhere. Not even for training, it would well put Earth in danger. Let me check in with the boys." Whis said, looking closer into the orb that levitated on his staff.

"Boys! Oh, boys! Can you hear me! Whis calling in, please pick up the phone if you don't mind! It's very important."

And not a moment later...

"KAKAROT! YOU IDIOT! I TOLD YOU NOT TO PROVOKE HIM TOO MUCH!"

"H-Hey! I was sure it was safer up there! Come on, Vegeta, you can't blame me for thinking that way! Besides, you were fine with it too before that! Yo, Broly! Deep breathes! Come on, big guy, let's settle down a bit!"

"Hgnnn! I'm... I'm okay..."

"Careful Broly, you don't need to overthink it too much! You're doing great!"

"Yeah, what Cheelai said! You're getting better and better with it all every time you try!"

"Ahem. Goku..." Whis started again.
>>
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"Eheh?! Oh! Whis! H-Hi! How's it going!" Goku replied, as casual as can be.

"All is well but I think you know why I'm calling at this time..."

"Ehehehe... Whatever do you mean? Ahaha!"

"Goku, was that thing I felt just now you having Broly go off again?"

"I swear, I didn't push him too much! I just wanted to see if he was ready to handle the next increase was all! So I thought it would be a good idea to bring him to one of those other planets orbiting Lord Beerus's and well, ahahaha! I didn't expect him to suddenly blow it up!" Goku said, rubbing the back of his still blue hair.

"Hmm...." Whis said, looking sternly at his face through the orb.

"W-We're sorry for the damages, mister Whis!" Cheelai chimed in, covering for Broly, who was sitting down and looking a bit sad in the background; "We'll do anything we can to make up for it. I'll have Lemo cooking day and night if it makes it any better! Just please forgive Broly this time, it was the first slip up he had in a while training, honestly!"

"Oh, no, I'm not even annoyed by anything, rest assured. I'm glad you've come clean at least."

"Uh, please don't tell Lord Beerus, Whis. There's no telling how mad he'll be if he finds out!" Goku said.

"Now, asking me to cover for you is another matter on its own, Goku." Whis scolded.

"Cover for what?" Beerus asked, leaning in; "Goku! What did you do this time poking that bear? Did you blow another whole in my residence?!"

"Oh! No! Not at all, Lord Beerus! But, hey! I have a question for you!"

"What?"

"Hypothetically speaking, if someone other than you happened to blow up one of those decorative planets or moons you keep around, how would you punish them?"

"Well, first of all, if they're staying on my planet in my good graces, THEY'RE GETTING EVICTED ASAP! Second of all, THEY'RE GONNA REPLACE IT! AND I DON'T CARE HOW IT GETS DONE EITHER!"

"R-Replace a whole planet?!"

"Bit by bit or by using your Dragon Balls. It will be done or someone's getting a smacking, you hear?"

"G-Got it!"
>>
"Now, thirdly, my question for you. Was that explosion of power across the cosmos just now your lot's doing?"

"Eh? No? I don't think so... I did feel something pretty frightening when Broly when off a moment ago... but it must have resonated through every dimension in existence! I think it might even have been felt in the afterlife and Supreme Kai's place! I was actually about to ask the same thing, if that was you."

"..."

"..."

Beerus and Whis looked at each other.

"Huh? Hey? What's up, you guys?" Goku tilted his head.

"Nothing, Goku. For now, continue your training and be ready to respond if I should call again. Whis out."

And the image of Goku and his friends faded from the orb.

"So it wasn't Broly either..."

"Whatever it was... it's out there. It made its presence known, and then powered down, as if to go into hiding."

"Damn. Now I'm getting interested. If there's a powerful fighter out there I've never met, I might just have to cancel work to go introduce myself. But only if it happens again. For now, we continue as normal." Beerus said, feeling himself getting somewhat worked up.

"As you please. Our arrival to Planet Salal is imminent."
>>
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Elsewhere in the Universe...
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...

"Heheeeheh! The time draws near. My Absolute Armor is finally complete and overclocked. All that's left to do is activate my instrument and execute the plan for revenge. Hahahaha... finally, I've waited so, so long... a million years! I won't wait a million more! Mark my words, Beerus the Destroyer! Soon, you shall taste the bitter taste of revenge for what you did to my homeworld! Hahahahahaha! I can't wait to see you suffer and DIE for your SIN!"

A old madman laughed to himself on his isolated world hanging in the fringe outside of the galaxy itself.

...
>>
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Planet Salal.

A watery world inhabited by many diverse species of aquatic creatures. The world is exactly ninety nine percent water, land is the rarest thing on the surface, and the largest island is only ten thousand square miles. It is home to a vicious and savage people known as the Salalians, who proudly call themselves the "Leviathan people".

They have been recruited in droves by the Frieza Force specifically because of their brutality and preference for tools over usage of Ki. Whilst many can master Ki enough to fly, they excel at their use and love of weaponry above all.

The planet is especially renowned, or rather, infamous for its harsh judicial systems and constant infighting between tribes.
>>
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"Mighty Beerus," Chief Mokar, head of the largest Salalians tribe, the Hegemons, said; "-you strike me as a person of very refined tastes."

"I might be."

"Then if you do not mind, I had prepared a little something else before we feed you. A verse of Salalian philosophy"

"I did not come here to read."

"You are mistaken, Mighty One. I shall have my son, this prince you see here, recite the verse we selected for you. It is the foundation of our Leviathan pride and philosophy. What you might sum up the Salalian people as in one sentence."

"Hmmrrr..."

The Salalian wielding his spear bowed. Chief Mokar's son, Ulnul.

"It would be my honor to entertain a god, Mighty One."

>There is no time for waxing the worthless philosophy of savages with spears in a big lake. Food, or death. Make your choice but another word about philosophy won't be heard. (1+ HAKAI}
>As long as it's entertaining as you say and not boring as philosophical literature tends to be! Speak, but if it bores me, the fishy with the spear shall be filleted for me with a dash of tartar on the side. (1+ MERCY)
>>
>>6073403
>As long as it's entertaining as you say and not boring as philosophical literature tends to be! Speak, but if it bores me, the fishy with the spear shall be filleted for me with a dash of tartar on the side. (1+ MERCY)
>>
>>6073403
>As long as it's entertaining as you say and not boring as philosophical literature tends to be! Speak, but if it bores me, the fishy with the spear shall be filleted for me with a dash of tartar on the side. (1+ MERCY)
>>
>>6073383
The Machine Mutant guy from GT?

>>6073403
>There is no time for waxing the worthless philosophy of savages with spears in a big lake. Food, or death. Make your choice but another word about philosophy won't be heard. (1+ HAKAI}
I know you haven't done write-ins but can we have Whis teleport us to Frieza and rip his tail off? Just a little something to punish him for all of these shitty planets he rules/ruled over.
>>
>>6073403
>As long as it's entertaining as you say and not boring as philosophical literature tends to be! Speak, but if it bores me, the fishy with the spear shall be filleted for me with a dash of tartar on the side. (1+ MERCY)
Eh? More ambiance seldom hurts.
>>
This is a very interesting and funny premise for a quest. I'm into it.
>>6073403
>As long as it's entertaining as you say and not boring as philosophical literature tends to be! Speak, but if it bores me, the fishy with the spear shall be filleted for me with a dash of tartar on the side. (1+ MERCY)
Crazy how this is the first planet to offer decent service. When all is said and done we need to remind the universe what we really are. Ingesting excreted mucus, dangerously spicy "food", hearing lip from a fr*st demon, and the last guy didn't offer to CLEAN the food he was giving to us, we had to ask first! A God of Destruction should not put up with this.
>>
>>6073454
>As long as it's entertaining as you say and not boring as philosophical literature tends to be! Speak, but if it bores me, the fishy with the spear shall be filleted for me with a dash of tartar on the side. (1+ MERCY)
In that last guys defense he was effectively just some random fellow on the street we made serve food to us not surprising to me it didn't cross his mind.
>>
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>>6073416
>Working on your next evil intergalactic destroying plan
>Suddenly the god of death teleports in
>Rips your tail off before you can even stutter a word
>Leaves
He would be so goddamn confused.
>>
>>6073403
>As long as it's entertaining as you say and not boring as philosophical literature tends to be! Speak, but if it bores me, the fishy with the spear shall be filleted for me with a dash of tartar on the side. (1+ MERCY)
>>
>>6073403
>>As long as it's entertaining as you say and not boring as philosophical literature tends to be! Speak, but if it bores me, the fishy with the spear shall be filleted for me with a dash of tartar on the side. (1+ MERCY)
>>
>>6073403
>As long as it's entertaining as you say and not boring as philosophical literature tends to be! Speak, but if it bores me, the fishy with the spear shall be filleted for me with a dash of tartar on the side. (1+ MERCY)

If some crap comes out of their beaks about being proud and independent or some shit, mercilessly mock them for taking up the role of Freeza's attack dogs once he got too paranoid and wiped out the Saiyans. Hell, it's even more pathetic, since these guys using weapons over Ki is clearly a factor in why Freeza chose them, no hidden super forms unless they've got another super ancient lost mystical spear with a name that aged really bad.

Are we actually okay with eating them? I know Vegeta used to eat people he killed but I'm not sure about Beerus.
>>
Is frost demon really a slur ? I thought that was their species' name
>>6073403
>As long as it's entertaining as you say and not boring as philosophical literature tends to be! Speak, but if it bores me, the fishy with the spear shall be filleted for me with a dash of tartar on the side. (1+ MERCY)
>>
>>6073416
Leave Frieza alone! He's doing the best he can you guys!
>>
>>6073763
Fiiiiiiiiine. Broly already humbled him pretty recently anyways.
>>
"If it doesn't bore me, then proceed. If it does, I'll make you into seafood."

Both Salalians... smiled. They had toothy grins of glee on their faces when the God of Destruction said that, rather than fear. The spear wielder, Ulnul, raised a scroll made of a thick type of seaweed native to the planet and let the leaf of it unfurl. They wrote down their words in an ink that didn't fade from water exposure. Their language was compact, the letters so small that they could fit in twice as many words in a single sentence than what the Earthlings spoke.

"The Salalian way of life is as old as the sun in the sky." Ulnul began, before looking down at the page; "We follow the Sacrament of Survival. The Leviathan philosophy. The means through which nothing is wasted."

"In this world, we confront a cruel truth in a battle we all have early in our lives. That truth is that survival, from the start, or in its advanced stages, always stems from the cost of others. This is no battle to be won. Instead, the Leviathan makes peace with this truth, and gains a new ally. In this knowledge, the Leviathan discards malice and enlightens himself upon the necessity of life and its cyclic nature. It is not the same as the strong devouring the weak, it is those who would survive longer finding necessity in devouring those who would not."

"Wait a moment. Are you telling me your culture's entire philosophy is the promotion of cannibalism?"

Chief Mokar nodded.

"Indeed, Mighty Beerus. Though, we prefer the use of the term "absorption". It is natural to make unto life, sustenance. Denying this principle is inviting extinction and stupidity. Life is transmigrated by nature into a circle, a great cycle, and we must assist it."

Ulnul raised his spear in praise. "Tis' true! By consuming the flesh of our fallen brethren, our dead relatives, our enemies, we absorb their strength, their will to live, and their very essence. We become one with them, united in the shared experience of existence. Life feeds life, and when we die, we too will be consumed by the next to go on in our stead! The Leviathan people do not just practice absorption on our own species. We even eat others out there among the stars! The Sacrament is not limited by species, it does not discriminate! Even if there are aliens, all life is life in the great cycle! Huhahaha!"

"And I suppose you intended to feed me members of your own race after you'd chopped them up for me then, is that right?"

"Yes. Our tribe punished a lawbreaker in these parts recently. Although, we already consumed him, his family by extension were deemed unworthy and we prepared them for you." Mokar admits.

"Our kind has found many ways to consume each other. For this occasion, we prepared a specialty. Salalian Steak made from their younger, more tender meat." Ulnul says.
>>
"The Sacrament is not malicious. It is neither good nor evil. It is not done out of malevolence. It is done to support life. Is there anything more noble than ensuring that life will go on forever?" Chief Mokar asked aloud.

"It is no different than how we consume animals." Ulnul added; "One must not let it hang on their soul if who they consume is highly intelligent or not."

"..."

Beerus was somewhat unnerved. He had often threatened to consume actual people before in his years, traveling across the universe. Heck, when he saw that one pig man on Earth, he saw him as bacon briefly, before he challenged him to Rock, Paper, Scissors.

But to have cannibalism on a systematic scale, and to even go as far as spreading it across it the cosmos... This was one species that the Supreme Kai would honestly be all for destroying, for once. Justifying their putrid acts under a veil of "survival" and jargon about a vague meaning to "life"...

Even Whis looked like he would rather not be here now. He had a suspicious glare he'd been giving the Salalians ever since arriving, in fact...

>You are not worthy of these cosmos, Salalians. (1+ HAKAI)
>Very well. Enough philosophy. Show me these "steaks". (1+ HAKAI)
>>
>>6073784
>>You are not worthy of these cosmos, Salalians. (1+ HAKAI)
>>
>>6073763
>Leave Frieza alone! He's doing the best he can you guys!
It's not about how he's doing, it's about what he's done. Let's rip his tail off and never mention it to him ever again.

>>6073784
>You are not worthy of these cosmos, Salalians. (1+ HAKAI)
If it was just the criminal or a defeated enemy, sure, but they want us to eat a baby.

Again, let's rip Frieza's tail off for this. Actually, it would be poetic to bring Buu here to turn them all into candy, but I don't think he does that anymore?
>>
>>6073784
May be controversial, I don't care that much about the cannibalism.

It's the whole "sins of your forefathers" and "killing literal babies" shit that they've got going on that whacks em right over into smite territory.

If it was actually "yeah we just eat everything circle of life" and a baby just happened to die from eating too many peanuts I'd at least wait to see how they were preparing it, but yeah...

>You are not worthy of these cosmos, Salalians. (1+ HAKAI)

Also, can we ask the other Kais what the fuck they're doing around here? I mean, this is your job, but at the same time, the fuck?
>>
>>6073784
>>You are not worthy of these cosmos, Salalians. (1+ HAKAI)
NUKE THEM
>>
>>6073784
>You are not worthy of these cosmos, Salalians. (1+ HAKAI)
The mass consumption of conscious beings is contrary to cohesive civilization.
>>
>>6073784
>his family by extension were deemed unworthy and we prepared them for you
That's what makes these fucks barbarians.

>You are not worthy of these cosmos, Salalians. (1+ HAKAI)
Let's not be hypocrites, Beerus's pride won't allow it. Spare the infants young enough to avoid indoctrination and scatter them across the universe Primarch style, in groups just large enough to avoid inbreeding.
>>
>>6073784
>You are not worthy of these cosmos, Salalians. (1+ HAKAI)
sarabada
>>
>>6073856
I'm pretty sure we're already well beyond the billions in terms of infants killed, we're more of a preventative measure to prevent theoretical future infants from getting hurt.

No harm in doing this if we can though, I guess.
>>
>>6073856
>>6073868
Nah, blaze 'em all. Beerus is Universe 7's God of Destruction and Total Destruction is his Omni King ordained duty. The afterlife exists in DBZ so the kids'll be fine anyway. He's already destroyed several planets' worth of them, no reason to start preserving them now.
>>
>>6073784
>You are not worthy of these cosmos, Salalians. (1+ HAKAI)
Absolutely not. Consuming sapient beings, sure, we probably did it once or twice between the countless destructions of them. But these fuckers literally EAT babies, and they intend to spread their disgusting way of life towards the cosmos. Mass consumption of species with higher functioning means a lower mortal level for us. We ate mucus today, and I'd rather not cross that line again. Seriously though, fucking babies? What the fuck? Fuck that. Push the Nuke Button NOW.
>>
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"You know what? I've made my judgment already. Your kind is not worthy of the cosmos."

"Hmhm. Because you disagree with our philosophy?" Chief Mokar spoke up.

Neither of them flinched, even though they knew what was coming.

"It's junk. Pure junk. And you want to go out and spread it among MY universe, culling other races when I in fact seek to raise the level of mortals universally. I'm afraid your teachings end here. I haven't had qualms in the past about having sapient lifeforms cooked for their insolence... but the past is the past, and you're taking it to a whole new level that ticks me off. You actually expect me to devour your kind's children..."

"Hahahahaha. You fail to realize that you yourself are proof of our way of life, Mighty One. You eat as you please, and destroy whatever you don't like. Life dies to support your own, even if you are a dead end who has not created anymore life. Hahahaha! Do what you will. Our kind has already been spread to other worlds. We will continue the philosophy."

"Enough of your blabbering."

Beerus blasted the ground with a ray of burning Ki.
>>
>>6073923
I do not agree with them but I can see their logic and at least they aren't hypocrites, but yeah this is for the best
>>
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"That's taken care of."

"They talked a big game and stared down their end fearlessly, but I'm not sure the Salalians left elsewhere in the galaxy will have it easy. If their homeworld is gone, they'll certainly dwindle wherever they try to bring their barbaric way of life."

"For once, I feel as though this is a destruction that East Supreme Kai won't take much issue with."

"For once, you're right." Shin said through his telepathic channel; "I'll certainly a blind eye to this. It seems Beerus the Destroyer has a heart after all. Earth's rubbed off on you, hasn't it?"

"Watch it! Nobody's influenced me..."

"I don't know, you seemed awfully protective over baby Bulla the few times you've held her on Earth."

"That's just common courtesy for an acquaintance of ours Whis! I haven't softened up a bit!"

"Hohoho. As you say, my lord."

"The galaxy won't be missing these Salalians. Hopefully, when I replace their planet I can raise something more peaceful in their place. Here's hoping more of them went to Heaven than Hell after that explosion." Shin remarked.

"Makes no difference to me. Whis, we're off."
>>
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Current points.
>>
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~~~

>>> SELECT A PLANET TO VISIT
>Planet Bounts
>Planet Algone
>Planet Ooanmit
>Planet Blubbier
>Planet Cinndorell
>>
>>6073931
Hmmmm...
>Planet Bountis
Sounds like the least horrible place. It sounds like "bounty", which probably means its a rich planet, which probably means there's good and expensive food there.
>>
>>6073931
>Planet Bounts
Anon's logic is sound
>>
>>6073931
Well that was fucking depressing.

>Planet Bounts
Bounts, Bouncy? Fun?
Bounts, Bounty, Exotic beasts across the galaxy?

Hey, quick question, what do you guys think we should do if a leader willingly sacrifces himself to be cooked for us to consume them cause they got fuck-all else in terms of good food? Like, on one hand, that shows self-sacrifice and all that hippie crap. On the other hand, holy shit, if that's the best you can do, I don't want to imagine what you normally eat.
>>
>>6073931
>Planet Blubbier
>>
>>6073931
>Planet Bounts
>>
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On Planet Bounts, Beerus could have encountered anything. He could have come across a fierce warrior race ready to fight him no matter the odds. Gigantic monsters that ruthlessly attack whatever they see. Dinosaurs. The Frieza Force. Or more strange aliens that pique his interest or fuel his anger.

He did not expect to find a race he thought was...

"...k-kind of cute..."

"I beg your pardon, Lord Beerus."

"N-Nothing... just continue flying." Beerus said.

He and Whis were floating downwards towards a... fantastical and whimsical city of stone. It was like something out of a fairy tale. And the race below was greeting him with waving hands and shouts, saying "Welcome!" to the god. For Planet Bounts was home to the kind and cheerful Bunyim, a relaxed bunch of lagomorphs. The planet was a holding of the Galactic Patrol, and under its constant watch, protection and vigilance!

Beerus landed in the middle of a palace courtyard. He looked around, seeing the setting they chose was a royal garden, decked with many bright and aromatic flowers. A simple round table with chairs that had this charming heart shape was behind him. A row of Bunyim sounded bugles.

"Beerus, the legendary God of Destruction, has arrived!" A blue alien of the Galactic Patrol announced. He then motioned towards the doors of the palace, being opened by the fleet of maids to his right; "Please welcome now, our noble and righteous Queen of all Bunyim, Lady protector of the realms of Bounts, her royal majesty, Queen Acerola!"

Again, those bugles were blown, and a proper lady picked up the hems of her dress as she stepped forward to meet Beerus. A fanciful little white rabbit wearing a crown.

"Lord Beerus," She greeted, royalty herself bowing to him as was customary; "-so pleased to finally make your acquaintance. All my preparations were finished just in time! I'm absolutely delighted to be able to say I am having a deity in the flesh over for dinner! Hhmhm!"

Beerus was honestly... having trouble finding the words. He had never... had a planet welcome him so openly, with so much applause. Even knowing what he was and here to do! And he swears, for a second when that crowned little bunny lifted her head from the bow, she winked at him.

"U-Uhmmm... Y-Yes... well..."
>>
"Oh my! I thought I felt a sense of deja vu. I remember now." Whis suddenly spoke up.

"R-Remember what?"

"I had a feeling I saw Bunyim before. I just remembered, they also exist in the sixth universe. I saw some when I was training under sister Vados. Funny, I even remember there being a God of Destruction trainee in another of those universes that actually was a Bunyim herself. Saria, if I'm not mistaken."

"Y-You mean one of these things managed to reach that level of power?!"

"Ohhh!" The Queen suddenly squee'd; "That's wonderful to hear! It's so heartwarming to know that my kind have reached such heights! To think that one of us is near Lord Beerus's level is something else! It must take a truly dignified heart to ascend to godhood! I'm sure she's very nice just like Lord Beerus. You seem like a very good person, my Lord!"

"I-"

"Oh please, let us be seated! This is a special occasion and it's our job to make sure you are relaxed!" Queen Acerola said, suddenly reaching out and gently taking Beerus' hand. He felt his heart skip a beat as she led him towards the table to be seated!

"Oh ho ho ho! How hospitable! Don't mind if I do." Whis giggled.

Beerus sat down across from the Queen, Whis enjoying every moment of this as she picked up a little chime and rang it.

"Tea please!"

And so the refreshments started as they prepared to bring out the main course. Whis was sipping happily at his cup whilst Beerus winced when he saw that Queen just smiling at him. It took all the power of his facial muscles to force a natural smile right back.

'D... Damn it! Why did they have to be so cute...?! This.... This is a planet I may actually not want to destroy, even if their food is trash!' He shouted in his mind.

"Lord Beerus, it is such a nice opportunity to have you. Though, I must admit, I had prepared to ask you for a boon whilst the food was still underway. I had thought you would arrive sooner, but you were right on time as my chef informed me it was done, so I would hazard an informality as to ask you now quickly before it arrives, good sir."

"W-... What would that be, ex... actly?"
>>
"I truly adore my people, Lord Beerus. And above all else, I wish for nothing more than to see them safe and sound at the end of the day. So I might ask of thee, if you should choose to destroy our planet, won't you consider waiting just long enough until our allies in the Galactic Patrol have evacuated it completely? It would be such a shame if anyone were to die, my Lord. Oh, won't you please consider it?"

"Well, I..."

"Excuse me for a second. But the God of Destruction is not supposed to take bribes when doing his job." Shin suddenly piped up over the telepathic wavelength.

Oh! That smarmy little Kai! He's definitely rubbing it in, just like Whis is! First, that incident with the Salalians, and now these cute, fuzzy little creatures...! How dare they! This is an outrage! And the worst part, they're right! What if the Grand Minister found out Beerus the Destroyer was playing favorites outside his judgment!? There would be harsh punishments to endure!

>It... I-It's not in my position to ac-accept requests from m-mmh-mortals! As much as a p-pity as it would be, I cannot accept this. Whether you pass or not is up to the judgment and judgment alone! (3+ HAKAI)
>Of course I'll consider it for such adorable little creatures like you Bunyim! That's right! (2+ ???)
>>
>>6074013
>It... I-It's not in my position to ac-accept requests from m-mmh-mortals! As much as a p-pity as it would be, I cannot accept this. Whether you pass or not is up to the judgment and judgment alone! (3+ HAKAI)
We... we cannot allow corruption. We must be absolute and unerring in our judgement.
>>
>>6074013
>It... I-It's not in my position to ac-accept requests from m-mmh-mortals! As much as a p-pity as it would be, I cannot accept this. Whether you pass or not is up to the judgment and judgment alone! (3+ HAKAI)
we have a reputation to hold, fuck. I'm taking that anon's idea and make it so we teleport to the kai, kick his ass and leave.
>>
>>6074013
>Of course I'll consider it for such adorable little creatures like you Bunyim! That's right! (2+ ???)
They let universe 9 exist, I think sparing the planet of adorable little rabbits that are clearly collaborating with the galactic patrol and everything isn't a big deal. Also I seriously doubt "I didn't judge them solely based on their food for once" is going to sound like a bad thing to the Grand Minister.

...Zeno will definitely fun of us for having cooties if he finds out though.
>>
>>6074037
ALSO! We are not "taking bribes!" We have are not going to take anything of material worth with us when we leave save for the food in our stomachs! Therefore, it's impossible for a bribe to have happened!

...That logic checks out, right?
>>
>>6074012
>Of course I'll consider it for such adorable little creatures like you Bunyim! That's right! (2+ ???)
If this weren't a one shot, I'd pick the other one but shenanigans!
>>
>>6074013
>Of course I'll consider it for such adorable little creatures like you Bunyim! That's right! (2+ ???)
Hey, hey, don't give us that look. This is the first planet to actually give a damn about being hospitable, and they're pulling their weight in the galactic community. It's not that we find them adorable or a-anything, morons!
>>
ROFL. I usually don't read fandom quests but this one is fun and I'm having a blast reading.
>>
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"Pah! Of course I would consider it, for such exemplary and polite hosts!"

1+ Mercy Point.
1+ Hakai Point.

"Oh my."

Queen Acerola put her hands together and squealed in delight. It was making Beerus' cheeks as hot as the Sphere of Destruction!

"Excelsior! Truly Excelsior! This moment marks Bunyim history and the highest point of my political career! Oh thank you thank you thank you thank you! Thank you so much, Lord Beerus! For a God of Destruction, you are surely one of the nicest and most wholesome people I've ever seen!" She fawned, giggled and her ears even danced inside her crown.

And then she blew a kiss.

"UWAAAAA-!!!!"

Beerus fell back, blood spraying from his nose.

"Oh dear!"

"My my, tastes as basic as ever." Whis said as he drank his tea.

"Urf..."

"Oh, it looks like our royal cook has arrived, Lord Beerus!"

The God of Destruction quickly corrected himself in his seat at the table and looked up to the eccentric chef that came hither, pulling a tray with many a dish upon it behind herself as she bounced forward just slightly. So lively, she grabbed a tray up on one hand and span around without dropping it, striking a charismatic bunny ear fingers pose.

"Saaaalutations! I'm Chef Huckleberry and I'm pleased to be your server for today! Desu ne!"

"UWAAAAA-!!!!"

BOOM!

He fell back again, nosebleed gushing.

"...Very basic indeed." Whis said, looking down at him.

"A-hrump!" Beerus shot back upwards; "Much appreciated! Tell me, what delectable items have I to look forward to at this hour, Chef?"
>>
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"Weeelllll...." Chef Huckleberry breathed in.

"I've cooked up a nice, steaming Carrot, mushroom and chickpea wellington loaf for a healthy, low fat, vegan excellence as our centerpiece!" She said, setting down the trays and lifting their covers one by one; "And on the side I've got a fat stack of carrot and celery dipping sticks for this DEEEE-lishious homemade roasted carrot hummus! Ahuhuhm! And if that doesn't fill your tank up, please enjoy this exciting pan of garnished roasted carrots glazed with our planet's natural honey and a serving of creamy carrot thyme soup! And to top it all off, you can enjoy dessert last with this frosted carrot cake and JUMBO sized carrot-banana muffins!"

Chef Huckleberry was out of breath. She panted fast, trying to regain her breath.

"Oh, it all looks so nicely made! Don't mind if I do!" Whis said, tying a napkin around his neck as he went instantly for a fluffy muffin to have with his spot of tea.
>>
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'...I should have expected it was all going to be carrot oriented...'
>>
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And so, Lord Beerus had a meal with his most amiable (and unintentionally flirtatious...) hosts yet, one that he thoroughly enjoyed! There was just one problem.

'It's all damn carrots! What can I even say? It's like a stereotype itself manifest in tangible reality. Carrot soup, carrot cake, carrot muffin. HFIL, she somehow managed to make a wellington with no meat, only carrots and other things! The meat, well, lack of it, is the worst part! How is a god supposed to enjoy a meatless meal?! I don't have these fangs for nothing... But, it was the healthiest meal I've had so far, and there's nothing wrong with being healthy. Extremely low levels of fat, basically nonexistent. Vegan even. Hmm... I can't give them an obviously biased rating just because they're darn cute. Whis will jab me again if I just go for five stars. But then again, it's MY choice, MY judgment, isn't it?'

>How many stars is the Royal Bunyim Banquet?
>>
>>6074239
I mean, it tastes alright, but there's no damn variety. It was the healthiest thing we had so far and it didn't taste bad at all, but still, no meat or anything. Their service was nice, but a bit overwhelming. It isn't Earth tier, but...

>4 stars

If they had shit that wasn't carrots, something that EXCITED our taste buds the way Earth did, then they would have a perfect score. But they did show us the respect and dedication a deity of our caliber deserves unlike other planets, and they're not wastes of space like those mucus-y toad things or those barbaric baby-eating savages. I don't see a good reason to destroy them either. But there's something about them that feels manipulative. We're going to have to sack a nearby asteroid belt or blow up a moon to keep them honest. And to save face too.
>>
>>6074239
>>6074253 +1
>>
>>6074253
+1, agreed.
>>
>>6074239
>How many stars is the Royal Bunyim Banquet?
3, only because of the hospitality.
>>
>>6074239
4.5, because health is an important factor when considering meals. Something that a certain brother of ours DOESN'T understand!
Still, Carrots alone do not make a healthy meal. Diversity in nutrients is important when you're trying to take care of your body.
Half a star added because of the sheer ingenuity in diversifying so many dishes with carrots alone. It's honestly a feat in and of itself.
>>
>>6074239
>>6074253
Seconded. Everything appears healthy and well made, even if it is monotonous. They were also more respectful than the rebel planet we visited, so any destruction we deal shouldn't be as severe as theirs.
>>
>>6074234
Saved in my reaction image folder.

>>6074239
4. 4 for quality, -1 for lack of variety (and meat!), and +1 for... Ambience.
>>
>>6074239
I'd give them a 3 due to the lack of variey, even if the stuff isn't bad per se.
>>
>>6074239
I say 4 stars. The food itself is a 3 in a vacuum honestly, but they probably have problems or are even totally incapable of digesting meat so we can't knock off too many stars for lack of variety. After all, we were easier on Loqu for the similar reasons.

However, the fact that they are somehow LITERALLY THE FIRST PLANET to give you a proper welcome so far, and the fact that they work with the galactic patrol indicates that their civilization is a good one. No black market bullshit, no energy steroids, not part of an obvious cycle of new tyrants rising up, no mind-boggling disrespect, and perhaps most importantly, no dead children. As such, an first come, first serve point bonus is applied.
>>
>>6074239
>4 stars
>Recommend they diversify their diet-- even if it stays vegetarian, surely they can incorporate other kinds of vegetables
>>
>>6074239
>4.5 stars
There is NOTHING WRONG with a God of Destruction playing favorites. The other races should simply be cuter.
>>
>>6074239
>3 stars for the food 4 for being the first planet to actually bother taking this seriously.

>>6074253
I do agree with this anon though they feel manipulative as hell I mean you expect me to believe a race that has one of their own as a God of Destruction trainee is saintly? Get outta ereee. These guys probably committed mass genocide against wolf people or something like that. (Plus they did literally just bribe us which arguably isn't exactly a noble thing even if hidden under a cute demeanor)
>>
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>>6074591
>you expect me to believe a race that has one of their own as a God of Destruction trainee is saintly?
Hey now, Saria may look a bit scary but she does appear alongside Heles in the official art and we all know what the Universe 2 love wackadoos are like so she's probably not a bad person herself! Though since other universes have Bunyim who's to say if those ones aren't going all 'Night of the Lepus' right...?
>>
>>6074720
>who's to say if those ones aren't going all 'Night of the Lepus' right...?
new trashy film discovered, also
>image for ants
>>
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"Well, Miss Queen, I have an opinion." Beerus said, patting his mouth with a napkin cloth. Queen Acerola's nose wriggled as she waited to hear what the God of Destruction had to say.

"The number of things you've thought to do with carrots alone is a feat by its own merit, no doubt impressive, but the homogeneity of the meal leaves much to be desired, and as the celery sticks proved, there's room for improvement and additions. Not that I didn't enjoy the meal, ho no no no no, it was excellent, that you can be sure of, it's just that you need have to your culinary artists leave their comfort zones is all! Four stars on my scale, easily!"

"That makes me happy to hear!"

"But I suppose my clout as a god might suffer if I don't set an example for other races to follow, even with the races I happen to like my interactions with..." Beerus said, eyeing the smirking Whis from the corner of his eye as he scratched his chin.
>>
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"Just the moon then." Beerus said, raising his fingers to the sky.

A lurid wave of sound washed over the planet, as the yellow moon of Bounts began to disappear.

"All that cheese, gone just like that..." Queen Acerola said, more amazed than she was frightened, unlike the chef that had collapsed out of shock behind her.

"No worries, no worries. You only have to suffer some darker nights and no tides as a result of this. The planet should be fine otherwise since there are no others or asteroids in this system. We will be departing now. But..."

Beerus came over to the seated Queen and reached down. Gently, he reached down and took her hand into his, lifting it just until he could see her ring. And for every tease she tried on him, he repaid back by putting the moves on her!

"Mhwa." He kissed her ring.

"Haaaa..."

"Thank you again for this fine evening, your majesty."

"F-...Fwuaaa..."

"Ta."

Whis and Beerus blasted off into the warp again. The Bunyim Queen watching them vanish into thin air. She blushed to herself and held her cheeks.

"F-Flatterer..."
>>
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"..." Beerus wiped his forehead off with the back of his hand.

"My, my. Summoning the courage up to charm that Queen was as difficult as defeating Monaka was for you."

"Bh-... Be quiet, Whis! I'll destroy you next!"

"Oh ho ho ho! My Lord Beerus is getting so much bolder these days! Soon, Beerus the Destroyer will graduate to Beerus the Bachelor."

"SILENCE! Just fly me to the next planet already!"

Subtly, Shin and Old Kai giggled to each other as they stared into the orb set upon their table on their planet.

~~~

>>> SELECT A PLANET TO VISIT
>Planet Algone
>Planet Ooanmit
>Planet Blubbier
>Planet Cinndorell
>>
>>6074826
>Planet Blubbier
>>
>>6074826
>Planet Blubbier
Hmm, no points for that rating. We'll have to step it up.
>>
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Current points.
>>
>>6074826
>Planet Blubbier
There's yet more fatty foods to be found. Perhaps we'll have another 2 Star rating!
>>
>>6074844
Well, it's not really mercy, since if they were any other god of destruction that didn't use food, they'd probably have passed with flying colors. I doubt destroying them to keep our coolguy image would have exactly kept the HAKAI counter from going up...

>>6074826
>Planet Ooanmit

We can probably make a PUN when we're judging this planet!? I'M IN!
>>
>>6074826
>Planet Blubbier
If there's anything to glean off of from looks alone, the food here will probably be bathed in delicious, unhealthy grease.
>>
>>6074826
>Planet Blubbier
>>
>>6074826
>Planet Blubbier
>>
>>6074826
>>Planet Blubbier
>>
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"Hm?"

As the duo traveled, Whis felt his staff emit a blinking glow and pulse. A message, coming to them from another Universe via that reality's native Angel.

"I wonder what that could be." Whis said. He raised his staff, and the orb projected a green light that formed a screen to their side as they traveled through the warp tunnel. And Beerus couldn't be more disdainful to see who it was.

"Greetings, sister."

"Hello, brother."

"Well, well, well. If it isn't my dimwitted brother." Beerus said.

"You should have more tact than that talking to your superior, Beerus. Heeheehahaha..." Champa said.

"Hah! Superior? In what area? Having more area?" Beerus said, waving a hand over the side of his skinny frame.

"Tch... You are busy raising the Mortal Level of Universe 7 right now, aren't you? I should only think so following recent events!"

"And what if I am? Were you hoping for some tips on how to raise yours?"

Champa suddenly smirked, chuckling as he leaned in closer to the screen.

"Oh no, not at all. In fact, I only wanted to gloat about how I've already surpassed Universe 7 here lately, as busy as I've been! As you know, the sixth already held a slight edge over yours... but now I've reached a whopping three point ninety nine already! In just a few moments, Universe 6 will have a mortal level of four! And yours is still barely above three! HAHAHAHAHA!"

"...Is this true?!"

"Well, actually, Universe 6 is still only at three point thirty. I said in a few months, not a few moments, that our Supreme Kai will have finished his latest batch of planets, which would be enough space to eventually elevate our level to four. Lord Champa ignored most of what I said and just focused only on the parts he liked." Vados said from behind him.

"H-Hey! Don't tell him that! He won't get demoralized!"

"Although, even if Lord Champa's statistic is off, Universe 6 does hold an edge over Universe 7. And our Supreme Kai hasn't even begun replacing the planets Lord Beerus just destroyed." Whis explained.

"Oh my. Destroying more worlds already is only going to bring that level down a bit, isn't it?" Vados gossiped.
>>
Beerus felt like a blood vessel of his would pop.

"Think you're going to beat me in some kind of race, do you?! You wanna make this a competition, huh, is that it Champa?!"

"Hahahaha! There's no competition, brother! I've already won! Just you watch, in no time, Universe 6 will rival Universe 12! Maybe even 1! Universe 6 will be so rich in planets and mortals, it will be like a fat cat businessman who has suitcases full of planets teeming with mortals!"

"As if Universe 6 needs ANYMORE FAT CATS!"

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!"

"The next tournament that comes, 7 won't even participate because our Mortal Level will be so high, Grand Zeno will exempt us!"

"Au contraire! You'll just get mad over something SILLY and blow up everything new you made! I can't wait until it's YOU who gets to know what being erased feels like!" Champa shoots back.

"HGRRRRRR!"

"RRRRRHNNNN!"

"I'll leave you in the dust, Universe 7 won't have a low mortal level ever again!"

"Neither will the sixth!"

"Actually, next time, I was planning to have the Universes with the highest mortal levels only participate."

Both Gods of Destruction felt like glass shattered inside of their skulls. Like time had paused and bowed its head in reverence from hearing who had just spoken.

"T...T-That voice!" Champa stammered.

"It's... it's...!" Beerus faltered.

A second ethereal window projected from the staffs of both Angels.
>>
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"GRAND Z-ZENOOOOOO!!!!!"

"A-ALMIGHTY OMNI-KIIIINNNNG!!!!!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10371HKJRKw

"Hi, hiii! How's everything going?"

"Everything fares well, sire. Just a little typical bickering between Destroyers." Whis said.

"Thank you for asking, your majesty!"

"Y-YOUR LORDSHIP!" Champa blurted; "H-How nice of you to greet us this fine day!"

"A-Absolutely, Omni-King! B... But what was that you said just now? Fo-Forgive me, I didn't hear it so well over Champa's squeaking!" Beerus sputtered.

"It's fine, it's fine. I just wanted to say, I am planning for another tournament between universes in the future, but this time, I want to see those who didn't get to participate get their chance to shine! It's going to be very exciting! Don't you agree?"

"Absolutely, sire! But... does that mean my sixth Universe will be o-omitted from participation?"

"Or the seventh...?"

Grand Zeno nodded his head.

"Ah... p-pardon me if I'm speaking presumptuously, sire, b-but.. but... n-nothing of the sort like the penalty for losing the last will come of universes that can't participate, surely?" Champa asked.

"Nah, I'm not gonna erase them again. It wouldn't be be fair since they haven't long been restored. This time, the only thing you lose out on if you don't get to participate is the prizes for winning the new tournament."

"Ohh, prizes?" Vados murmured.

Whis tilted his head. "What sort of prizes did you have planned, sire?"

"Well, I was going to have the Super Dragon Balls grant the wish of whoever wins again. But this time, I won't erase them, no matter how selfish or devilish their wish is. I figure it's entertaining even if I let real scumbags get a chance as well! I can't wait to see! My other me from the future is busy visiting Conton City and I didn't feel like going again. So, I've been thinking about hosting a new tournament. I can't wait to break the news to other me!"

"So if we wanted to participate, we'd have to do all we could to raise our mortal level quickly..."

"Yep! And it won't just be the Super Dragon Balls, there will be other prizes! The most luxurious castle in the entire multiverse, the most delicious food, the most comfortable clothes, the most battery efficient flashlight and more! It's sure to push fighters to their absolute limits until they have no choice but to break through!"
>>
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Champa gulped audibly.

"The most delicious food in the entire multiverse you say...?!"

Beerus wiped his sweating scalp.

"Or perhaps, something like the most comfortable pillow in all the universes even..."

"Mhmm!"

Champa bellied up, standing at attention as he pressed a nervous claw to his fat, squishy cheek, looking off in the distance.

"Ahah... heh... ehe... S-Sire, if I might inquire, isn't restricting entry to just the highest mortal level alone a bit of a HIGH bar for entry that not everyone will be able to fulfill? I mean, just logically speaking... it would probably be an even smaller tournament than the last Tournament of Power with such a giddy rule as t-"

Zeno raised his hand.

"N-NOT THAT I'M SAYING I DISAGREE! I j-just am REALLY excited to hear the news and would hate to be left out is all! S-SERIOUSLY!"

Zeno lowered his hand, dispelling its glow. "At the least, those who don't get to enter will get to watch just like last time! This time, the stage will be even bigger than the last one in the Null Realm. It's gonna be loads of fun!"

"Agreed, sire. I cannot wait, whether I g-get to enter or not. I'm sure Goku will be thrilled as well when he hears." Beerus nodded.

"Yeah! Anyway, I've got to go! Do your best to raise that mortal level, I'm proud to see you gods all trying so hard! Bye bye!"

And with that, Zeno's screen flickered out.

Beerus turned and faced Champa, both of them having a resolute stare in their eyes.

"I hate to cut this short but I've got work to do. So long for now, brother." Champa bid farewell.

Their screen disappeared and Beerus barked to Whis; "Faster! We've got to kick up the speed on this mortal level increasing train, Whis! THIS IS DIRE!"

"Oh, if you insist."
>>
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Planet Blubbier was a frozen hellhole in the middle of space, extremely distanced from its yellow dwarf star. Yet, on its surface was the most fantastic winter wonderland imaginable. It was covered in a thick sheet of snow, basically every inch of the planet was blanketed in white, over its small bodies of water, the mountains and more. It would take something truly tremendous to dig down deep enough through the inches of snow to find the actual ground.

Something like a crash landing might suffice.

"BWWWWAAAAHAAAAAAARH!"

BOOM!

The crater that Beerus found himself embedded into after Whis arrived managed to not only locate the ground, but bore into it deeper.

"Arrived at Planet Blubbier, Lord Beerus."

"D-Did you really have to land that hard?!"

"You did say to go faster, my Lord."

"Don't chastise me! Ugh! Whatever! Let's get this over with."

Beerus hopped out of his crater and took a look around. For miles and miles and miles, he saw only snow, snowy mountains, and clouds making up a thick white sky.

"...Whis, I think we have the wrong planet."

"Fret not, this is the right one."

"There is no way this frigid snowball could hope to sustain life."

"Hmmmmmm?"

"Hm. Can't it now?"

What looked like a massive ball of snow in front of Lord Beerus suddenly began to shift. It stood up high. A tall and burly creature covered in a huge coat of fur with blue skin. The massive, and rather curious and cowardly looking thing just blinked at the God of Destruction. Atop its head... a red jingling hat.

"Are you the leader of this planet?"

"Hmm! Hmhmhmm... Hmm hmmm. Hm! Hmhm hm hm hm hmmm mmm hmph, hm hm hm, hm, mmm." It moaned out under its beard, touching both indexes together and tapping them.

"...Can you not speak anything coherent?"

"Hm hm! Hmm! Hm hm hm! Mmm hmm hmm hmm, hm hm hhhhhhh."

"Alright, I'm destroying this place now."

"MMMMNMMM!! NNNMMMM! NMNNN!" The thing began shaking its head.

"Oh so you understand me but not the other way around! Great!"

"He said he would very much not like that."

"Right, I forget you're omnilingual, Whis.... translate for me."

"Hm hm hmm hm, hmmm, mmmmmm! Mhmmm. MMMMM MMM MMMM! Hmhmhm, hmhmhm! Hm hmm, mmmmhmmmmmm."

"We are the timid Blubbierans and we are not particularly brave. But we're ready to do all we can to save our cold haven among the stars. We've prepared our best frozen foods for you. Mmmm mmm mmm! It's delicious!"
>>
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"FROZEN FOODS?! YOU WANT ME TO EAT BLOCKS OF ICE?! MAYBE SOME ICICLES AND SNOW?! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MIND? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?!"

"MMMMNNNNN! NNN HN MM NN HM NNN MMMM NMMMM MM HMHMHMHMHMHHM-H-H-HMMM-M-M!"

"It's not what you think. It's not as bad as it sounds. If you just see, we're sure you'll like what we do with o-our frozen ice treats, s-sir." Whis translated, all the way down to the accurate stutters.

"So you DO intend to feed me literal ice..." Beerus snarled; ""Not even a frozen dinner you'd heat up in a microwave...."

"Honestly, maybe destruction's for the best here for once."

>NOW I'M MAD! BEGONE! (2+ HAKAI)
>One chance! That's it! (1+ MERCY)
>>
>>6074934
>One chance! That's it! (1+ MERCY)

I swear to Me, if it's just a shittier version of icecream...

Or maybe we'll luck the shit out and get ripoff of century soup.
>>
>>6074934
>One chance! That's it! (1+ MERCY)
We came here to EAT! If we cannot EAT to our satisfaction, we will destroy to it!
>>
>>6074934
>One chance! That's it! (1+ MERCY)
If they don't have the best hot chocolate in the universe we're dunking on this entire solar system.
>>
>>6074934
>One chance! That's it! (1+ MERCY)
>>
>>6074934
>One chance! That's it! (1+ MERCY)
>Now that I think about it, a frozen treat does sound pretty nice after that spice fiasco.
>>
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"You get. One. Chance. That's all." Beerus coldly declared.

The Blubbieran put both hands together and bowed, and then began walking backwards, beckoning his godly guest forward. Beerus followed, hissing at the frigid weather and landscape as he was brought into a big igloo by the host. Once inside, he saw... well, it looked like cooking appliances but it was all also ice. There was a pot on a stove that had been steaming something. And to the side, there were discarded and broken white shells of something crabby... The Blubbieran representative motioned Beerus to a meal set out on the ice table.

Before him was a row of these.... things. They looked like ice pops or something. White and red. It was ice cold. Then, there was a massive bowl that could have fit a watermelon full of something that looked like shaved ice. It was bright green and purple. Last but not least, there was a plate with snow on it. Literal snow. It can't be made up, but at least it was drowning in something sticky hardening as it chilled on top of it, like a thick syrup or taffy.

"This looks awful."

"Mmmmm!"

The Blubbieran flinched at his words.

"For your planet's sake, this better at least have taste that beats its aesthetic."

Without further ado, Beerus lifted his hand, to have a spoon placed in it by Whis, before he leaned forward and scooped the top off the shaved Blubbieran ice. He put the green and purple substance in his mouth.

"PLUEGH!"

And spit it out.

"This tastes like cough medicine!"

"Hm! HM HM HM! Hm hm hm hm hmhmmhmhmmmm hmm mmm mm... hmmmm!"

"That is our flavored ice ball. It uses our planet's native cloudberries which we squeeze it into as flavoring."

"And it's awful as it looked!" Beerus said before he crunched into and scooped up a piece of the frozen taffy to eat; "...Hm. This on the other hand is decent."

"Hm hm hmm hm hmm. Hm hm hm. Hmmm. Hmm hm hmm, mmm hmm mmmm hmhmhm."

"The honey of a Blubbieran Winter Bee, which is a gigantic creature, harvested from its honeycombs and frozen semi-solid."

"And now what's this?" Beerus asked as he picked up one of the pops.

He licked it, savoring the taste on his tongue that he swished.

"It's kind of salty. It's not offensive but it's very plain."

"Hm hm hm! Hm hm hm hm, hmmm mmm hmm hmmmhmmmhmmm, hmhhmhm, hmmm mmmmm. Mmmm! MMM! MMMM! MMMMMMM!"

"Oh my..."

"I don't like that "oh my" much..."

"Our planet is home to a species of snow crab. Once properly steamed, the meat is then shaped up and wrapped by its smoother layers and frozen onto sticks. BEHOLD! OUR TASTY CRAB POPS!"

Beerus stopped himself in his tracks from taking another lick.

"You waste perfectly good crab meat cooking it, only to then refreeze it and fashion it into this horrendous looking salty thing?"

The Blubbieran averted his gaze to the floor, scratching the back of his head. He just nodded slowly, a painful look in his eyes.
>>
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Beerus set the "crab pop" down and breathed in deep before exhaling.

'I might have finally found it. My first one star review. The crab pop is such a waste. The shaved ice is terrible! Only the frozen honey taffy was any good! These Blubbierans... piss me off.'

"HM! HM HM HM! HM HM HM! HMMM HM HMM HM!"

"He's asking for another chance, Lord Beerus. He says he can prepare one of the snow crabs steamed for you and try something new if you'd permit it."

"I seem to recall already eating shellfish earlier at that colony. Funny. Let me make this clear... I AM destroying your planet."

1+ Hakai Point.

"That much is for damned sure."

>Rate Blubbieran Treats. (1+ HAKAI)
>Tell the Blubbieran to try his thing. He's still getting destroyed but he might as well see if he can make an attempt at redeeming himself. (1+ MERCY)
>>
>>6074971
>>Tell the Blubbieran to try his thing. He's still getting destroyed but he might as well see if he can make an attempt at redeeming himself. (1+ MERCY)
And we're beating the fuck out of their strongest warriors while we wait.
>>
>>6074971
>Tell the Blubbieran to try his thing. He's still getting destroyed but he might as well see if he can make an attempt at redeeming himself. (1+ MERCY)

...So, yeah... shitty shaved ice, frozen honey, and frozen imitation crab sticks. Yeah, this was a 1.5 at BEST.

Also, on a related note, does western cough syrup really taste that bad? I don't think I've ever had it, I've always taken a chinese medicine version called Pi Pa Gao, which honestly tastes kinda good to me.
>>
>>6074971
>Tell the Blubbieran to try his thing. He's still getting destroyed but he might as well see if he can make an attempt at redeeming himself. (1+ MERCY)
>>
>>6074972
>+1
>>
>>6074975
Eh, our cough syrup isn't great. Not all of it is awful, but there is longstanding bit of folk wisdom that the worst-tasting medicine is the most effective, to the point that some brands deliberately market themselves on that basis.

>>6074971
>Tell the Blubbieran to try his thing. He's still getting destroyed but he might as well see if he can make an attempt at redeeming himself. (1+ MERCY)
Gotta get that mortal level up...
>>
>>6074971
>Tell the Blubbieran to try his thing. He's still getting destroyed but he might as well see if he can make an attempt at redeeming himself. (1+ MERCY)
I bet these stupid fucks would freeze pizza in their stupid mumbling bumbling ways. I want to get that mortal level up but god, what an utterly disappointing planet. I was hoping for deep fried, not deep frozen. This entire planet is a frozen hellhole and their bright idea was making food that's just as cold. There isn't even any hot chocolate.
>>
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With permission granted, the Blubbieran made a herculean effort to make up for his poor showing and quickly set about steaming another snow crab to feed his guest with. In that time period, Beerus decided to see if any other Blubbierans wished to try fighting him, even knowing they are a cowardly race. Only about three dared to meet his challenge. They use Ki to create absolute zero temperature on demand and freeze things. He found the trick to be amusing, right before he used it on them himself.

"Hm hm hmmmm hm hmmm!"

"Uwaaahhhhh. Your people are so painfully boring. I hope whatever you've made is much better."

The Blubbieran set before Beerus a large slab of slop he had thrown together.

"...What is this?"

"He seems to have minced the steamed crab meat and then doused it with the same honey he used for the taffy. In his words, he calls it "sweet and salty honeyed snow crab". He says he has high expectations for it."

"Hmm. I'll pass."

"Hm hm hmm?!"

"Sweet and salty flavors can compliment one another due to flavor layering... However, this sloppy pile you've made me wait for is a disgrace you've hastily thrown together, both to the crab that made it and the honey produced by these "giant bees" of yours as well. It looks bad, very bad. Presentation is all off. There isn't even a plate. You just threw it right onto the table... which is also ice now cooling off the steamed meat on contact. I gave you one chance, Blubbieran. One and a half stars..."

"Hm... hm hm hmm? Hm.... hmm?"

"He asks, 'what will become of my planet then'." Whis translated as Beerus glanced at him.

Beerus looked back at the Blubbieran.
>>
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1+ HAKAI.
>>
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Current points.
>>
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~~~

>>> SELECT A PLANET TO VISIT
>Planet Algone
>Planet Ooanmit
>Planet Cinndorell
>>
>>6075185
>Planet Cinndorell
Man the Blubbierans never stood a chance huh?
>>
>>6075185
>Planet Algone
>>
>>6075185
>Planet Algone
Ya know, for as harsh and lackadaisical as this whole journey may seem, Beerus' methods aren't all that bad. Any sufficiently advanced mortal civilization SHOULD have more developed cuisine than frozen crab meat, mucus beer, their own people, etc...
>>
Little tidbit of trivia on the side.
Ooanmit is an anagram of Toonami.
>>
>>6075185
>Planet Ooanmit
>>
>>6075185
>Planet Algone
Poor Blubberians, but it was their own fault for evolving a sense of taste that differs from Beerus's, who, as we all know, is the high arbiter of taste. Mostly because he's strong enough to enforce it, kek.
>>
>>6075185
>Planet Ooanmit
>>
Unbelievably sloppy showing from the Blubberians. 1.5 is too good for them, honestly.
>>6075185
>Planet Algone
Feels like the most "surprise me" pick of our choices left.
>>
>>6075185
>Planet Ooanmit

>>6075221
Now I'm curious
>>
>>6075273
I feel like we are going to arrive their and it turns out they all left weeks ago. I mean their planet name literally sounds like "All gone" but put together and a l removed.
>>
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On Planet Algone, Beerus found himself descending into the strange sight of a planet covered in... ruins, rather than civilization. In the distance, their cities were massive concrete, metal and glass monuments standing as a testament to the apocalypse that had occurred here. Whis guided him towards a village of tall stones and rocks, and it was there that they met the enduring inhabitants of the world.

A stoic and large race of rocky creatures calling themselves the Pebblemen, stewards of Algone. And a small race of tiny creatures hiding themselves in cloaks, curious little peepers known as the Shishishiki, the original race that inhabited this world.

"Quite a fascinating history this planet must have. Tell me, Pebbleman, how did your kind come to exist on it?"

"....Long ago, bombs fell from the sky... the neutron sparks of the Algonic Holocaust... the Shishishiki chose to wipe themselves out to the last. Before Shishishiki of intelligence all finally withered, created us Pebblemen as their last act. Now, Shishishiki have degenerated.... they are small and weak, and dumb. Pebblemen have learned the lesson of life from the end. Now, Pebblemen will take care of Shishishiki, one day raise into better race, and rebuild world."

"I see. So you're like caretakers then. These midgets blew themselves up, but they created you automatons to ensure they'd survive and eventually prosper again."

The Pebbleman meekly nodded.

"You know, usually, when I come across post-apocalyptic worlds, it's instant destruction."

"Apocalypse, sign of failure. Unworthy of getting second chance, risking doing all over again." The Pebbleman deduced, monotonously.

"Indeed. Most races I've seen that underwent their own annihilation only survived off their planets, or by going into space. However, this is the first time I've seen a species survive their apocalypse and still inhabit their planet. It's not totally beyond repair. For that, I'm willing to give you all a chance to impress me." Beerus explained, eyeing the strange short little beings that were all gathered to watch him with fascination.

The Pebbleman nodded.

"Pebbleman will show you how Pebblemen cook for Shishishiki. Follow."

The large golem stomped off, myriad Shishishiki following behind in its shadow in a row. Beerus and Whis trailed behind the Pebbleman into their "kitchen", which was more or less a row of stone walls. All their architecture now was simply hedges of tall carved rocks dividing into rooms with no roofs. The primary reason was for them to be able to burn campfires for warmth in every room without the smoke clouding up. But their "kitchen", admittedly, was well stocked and equipped.
>>
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There were smaller Pebblemen with thinner limbs at work making food for the Shishishiki hordes constantly. They use mortars and pestles to grind things into a paste the small ones could consume. They were really short, to the point they could barely manage to even eat what they used to before they devolved.

"Pebblemen all use earthernware only."

"Interesting choice, only using pottery. I've heard tale that earthenware improves taste on some things from Earth."

"Mm. We prepare food by grinding. All food is ground."

"So you make everything into paste?"

"Spreads."

"Spreads! Interesting..."

The Pebbleman motioned Beerus closer to a large flat stone square used as a table. He brushed the top off and blew on it to clear any dust particles before draping a large white cloth over it. He then set down a few round flatbreads in front of Beerus. A spongy brown flour bread, and then he set down eight pots and used a ladle to pour out their paste contents onto the bread. There were two fruit pasted spreads, a roasted minced beef spread, a shredded fish meat spread, and four of a variety of vegetable spreads. And then came two long rolls topped with slices of a pork and groat pudding, dry-cured shanks of some beast with cow cheese melted on top, and a charcuterie of green oval shaped fruits, nuts, crackers, cheese and a cream on top of another flatbread.

"My, my, my! It all looks so very good for a meal made exclusively from pastes and spreads. Eh, but no plates?"

"Bread is plate." The Pebbleman insisted. He set down a bronze two pronged fork in front of Beerus; "Mostly use hands to eat."

"I do not mind. Let's try this then."

He had an idea. Since it was all on a spongy bread, he picked up one of the flatbreads covered with spreads and folded it, twice. That way, he could experience all the flavors in his mouth at once. He bit down.

"UWWAAAAAAAH! AMAZING!"

He just had to have another bite, and another!

"It's got two distinctively sweet tastes enhancing one another, and the bread soaks it nicely so it doesn't have any contrast or anything! The vegetables are pretty oily but the beef mince gets caught in the crossfire and adds a little bit of a nutty, chewy texture! It's unexpectedly good!"
>>
"I wonder what these are like." Whis said, reaching down and grabbing one of the green oval fruits from the charcuterie. When he popped it into his mouth and began chewing, his eyes opened wider in surprise; "Ah, I see! These are like a hybrid between an olive and a grape! It's somewhat sour but not in a bad way."

"I'm more interested in knowing what THIS tastes like." Beerus said, his attention all on the sandwich rolls.

He picked one up, careful not to drop it. The slices were both a reddish-pale pink and blackened brown, with that yellow cheese melted across. The cheese itself however, was shaped like an egg of sort sort. To cook this roll, the Pebblemen must have simply set it on a rack over an open fire so the cheese melted in with the meat

"Haaarhm..."

Beerus did his best to fit one end into his mouth without spilling anything and incised the half off with his fangs.

"Mmmm!" He jumped slightly, sparkles in his eyes.

"What does it taste like?"

"Aha! It's got such a unique blend of dryness that's assaulting my tongue with salted, robust flavors! They must have aged the cheese a bit before they melted it! It's going perfectly together in my mouth!"

"And this!" Whis started, caressing his own blushing cheek after he sampled their shredded fish spread on the other sponge bread; "It's like a salmon and mashed black bean mix! I never thought that mild flavor would go nicely when you're chewing it up alongside something sort of like salmon! It's very good, I assure you!"
>>
>>6075642
5! A full 5! Way too delicious, way too excellently prepared.
I think these pebblemen deserve a boon. They're clearly FAR better than their creators. Maybe something to help them get a bit of independence!
>>
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"Hey! Let me try some!"

"Oh no no, you still haven't even finished that sandwich roll. This spread is mine."

"But the meal is meant for me! I didn't even ask you to sample it!"

"But you did say I could."

"With my permission, Whis! Don't be so unfair!"

"Okay, well you can have it if I can have the other sandwich roll then."

"But I was going to eat both of them! Hrgh! Fine! Now give me that paste!"

The Pebbleman merely stroked the cloaked head of a Shishishiki he held as he watched the divines before him bicker and pick over the communal meal. Really, they were eating something that could have feed twenty, maybe thirty Shishishiki, all for themselves.

"Take your time... no rush, no rush..."

Eventually, Beerus was finished, after having requested seconds.

"Haaah..." He sighed, feeling about... fifty percent full by now; "That wasn't half bad, Pebbleman. Are you ready to receive my critique?"

"Pebbleman ready."

Beerus began to think...

'Post-apocalyptic planet, that's a minus. Though they did survive, they're not even the main race I interacted with, their automatons are. But the food, which is the most important part of course... It was good! Very good... However, there's just one thing. A lot of it was very oily. I could tell they used a lot of oil and boiled or fried things in their earthenware. The earthenware was certainly rubbing off on the tastes as I thought, so that itself is a plus. But their meats were high in fat content. I'm guessing they maintained moisture by cooking it in animal lard and fat, which ended up soaking it. At least for the meats used in their spread. Their dry meat was decent enough, and I rather wish their rolls had more of that than the pudding slices. All in all not a bad meal, just oily and fat. Oh, and my hands are slick and I must wash them now...'

>How many stars is Algonic Spreads and Earthenware cooked foods?
>>
>>6075642
>4.5 stars
Pretty great. They just need to serve them with a basin and napkin to clean your hands after. Fatty food is fine sometimes. We love desserts, after all, and it's not like those are healthy.
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>>6075645
>>6075648
whoops, you popped ultra instinct and reacted to the post I hakai'd
sorry, I impulsively correct formatting failure because it bugs me lol, your votes will still be counted
>>
>>6075647
You could argue for a 4.5 but I'll go with a 5, pebblemen seem like they'll tell the kids to stop blowing each other up. Oily food isn't inherently a minus, it's just when it's overly greasy and slimy it's a problem.
>>
>>6075647
Full five, easy.
>>
>>6075647
It is a well-earned 5-star ranking. Nothing wrong with some comfort food once every while.
>>
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>>6075653
You're too slow for me.
Is this what it's like for a mortal to surpass a god...?
>>
>>6075656
>almost destroy your species and world in nuclear armageddon
>devolve yourselves back to pre-sapience
>"Ugh, this sucks. Better make sure the robots feed us delicious comfort food all day until we get back on our feet."
Fair play to the Shishishiki.

Also, the Deaddeadead race of planet All-Gone? Kek. Nice.
>>
>>6075647
I see a 4.5 for this one. It really speaks to the ingenuity of the Pebblemen to make food THIS good in a post apocalyptic wasteland, better than most planets we went to. It's a bit of a grease sink, but food like that is a guilty pleasure that feels nice to indulge in every now and then. I can tell that there was a lot of effort put into making food worthy enough to grace a destroyer's lips. Service was decent enough, no extra chitchat like dumb folk songs or mindless blubbering, just straight to the point and professional. It's honestly super grim that this planet has the most potential for getting its shit together. Earth only has it beat due to its sheer variety and perfectly balanced nutrition. I don't feel like destroying anything right now so I'd personally give these guys a few milennia to improve.
>>6075653
annnd saved
>>
>>6075647
>5 stars
The meal itself was legitimately fantastic, they're more than deserving of their continued existence.
>>
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As a little more trivia, the Pebblemen and Shishishiki were based off some enemies that Toriyama-sama designed for Dragon Quest.
>>
>>6075647
>5 Stars. This was a damn near perfect meal despite the post-apocalyptic conditions of your planet. I expect great things from you all in the future.
>>
>>6075647
>5
well earned
>>
>>6075647
4.5
>>
>>6075647
>5 stars
4 star food, +1 for ingenuity and perserverance.
>>
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"An easy five stars." Beerus made his judgment.

"The cuisine was top class, Pebblemen. For creatures that do not appear to eat themselves, you have mastered the culinary arts well. Such feats I cannot overlook. Your planet will be spared."

The Pebbleman put both hands together and bowed his head. As if mimicking their caretaker, all the Shishishiki did as well.

Beerus levitated with flight and yawned.

"My only recommendation; Present a basin to wash off with, your food can get pretty messy."

"Pebbleman is humbled by eminent one."

"One more thing."

The Pebbleman looked up.

"Try not to let those ones get out of hand again. It would be a shame if they destroyed this world a second time and prevented your cuisine from evolving more."

"...Pebblemens will do."

Beerus nodded, floating back and placing his hand on Whis's shoulder.

"That was a good meal. Let's be off."

The two streamed into the sky in a beam of transient light.
>>
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"The time is nigh! Absolute Armor! AWAKEN!"
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"...Hm. There it was again."

"Quite. I felt it even more strongly than the last time." Whis said mid-flight; "With this we can confirm it's definitely not Broly."

"It felt slightly stronger than the last pulse, but it's definitely half as strong as I am right now."

"Did you wish to go see what it is, Lord Beerus? You did say you would if it happened again."

"Hmmm.... I'm not sure." Beerus said, picking at his teeth with a claw; "We do still have a few planets left."

"Hold on a second there!" Old Kai yapped at them; "Shouldn't this be of high priority to you? That Ki signature flaring up in the cosmos is super big! And it came out of nowhere! It's almost like it's challenging you!"

"I... I wouldn't say that's a good thing! If Lord Beerus were to fight an opponent that could meet some of his measure, the universe might be at stake again! Just like when he fought Goku!" Shin said with much concern.

"Mmm... That's true! But even if Lord Beerus doesn't go snooping around first..." Old Kai started.

And Beerus finished; "...Goku probably will when he can."

"Well... L-Lord Beerus can cancel out all forms of energy. If any dangerous energy masses get created, s-surely you would just snuff them out, right?" Shin said, feeling the need to bring up the nullifying abilities Beerus possessed.

"I can't risk the universe, not after Grand Zeno's last announcement."

"...Grand Zeno had another announcement?"

"We'll tell you later. It's better kept under wraps for now until the mortal level has been raised."

Beerus scratched his chin.

"A fight might be fun right about now. It's been quite a while since I've had a fight where I feel safe to destroy my opponent after beating them... after all, I can't do that to Goku and Vegeta, I need those Saiyans around for the future."

"Awaiting your decision, my lord." Whis says.
>>
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Extra MERCY point earned for successful five star review.
9 MERCY points acquired. Good ending secured!

~~~

>>> SELECT A PLANET TO VISIT
>Planet Ooanmit
>Planet Cinndorell

>-OR-

>Investigate the gigantic foreign power. (Initiates climax.)
>>
>>6075744
>>Investigate the gigantic foreign power. (Initiates climax.)
>>
>>6075744
>Planet Ooanmit
If the climax will prevent us sampling this food, I'm against initiating it until we check out the last two places.
>>
>>6075744
>Planet Ooanmit
We need to see the rest of the galaxy's food beforehand.
>>
>>6075744
>Planet Cinndorell
>>
>>6075744
>Investigate the gigantic foreign power. (Initiates climax.)

We don't want to get sick from some terrible food before we fight someone.

(or fuck up our points)
>>
>>6075744
>Investigate the gigantic foreign power. (Initiates climax.)
>>
>>6075744
>Planet Ooanmit
>>
>>6075744
>Planet Ooanmit
EHHHHHH, that power level can wait. I want more food. If its shit then we'll get to business right afterwards,
>>
>>6075852
I think whatever force is causing this will get more powerful the more we wait, and >>6075769 has a point.
>>
>>6075744
>Investigate the gigantic foreign power. (Initiates climax.)
>>
>>6075744
>Investigate the gigantic foreign power. (Initiates climax.)
We better come back and finish reviewing these two planets after though, it isn't nice for the appointer to ditch on his own appointments.
>>
>>6075995
Actually, know what forget this I'm changing my vote to.

>>6075744
>Planet Ooanmit
It is our self given right to decide the fate of planets based off arbitrary taste related decisions and by our self we shall finish it!
>>
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"It can wait."

"Are you serious?!" Shin exclaimed; "It could be a major threat to the entire universe you're just leaving out there untended like that! E-Everyone in the universe sensitive to energy must be feeling those pulses!"

"And I'll deal with it after I'm full. Got a problem with that?"

"It can't be helped..." Old Kai sighed.

"There's not even many planets left in my routine. You can relax safely knowing that Beerus the Destroyer's got this under control. Now. Whis."

And so the God of Destruction postponed a serious confrontation with his storied past just a little longer...

...

The penultimate planet, Ooanmit. It was was like a massive grassy knoll, a veritable ball of grass and water, with only plains and hills. Barely any mountains, sandy patches, or winter. The temperate climate was chilly at times, but more often than not sunny. It was a planet of the Galactic Patrol, from which they drew recruits for their logistics centers from.

Beerus would have the chance to meet the fleece covered inhabitants. The Alpacans.

"EEEEEEYYYYYYYY!"

"HOLAAAA! WELCOME TO OUR PLANET, BRO!"

And they were loud.

"Ngh..."

It was already disturbing to his comfort. But interestingly, he found one of their representatives was a Guardian, making this the second he's encountered today since Loqu.

"Say, do you happen to report in to King Kai?"

"King who?"

"Erh.... Never mind that. Just introduce yourselves already."

"Ohhh-okaaayyy! I'm Cohfee!"

"And I'm Tohfee!" Said the other Alpacan, wearing a chef's uniform.

"We so excited meet you at last bro! We heard so much about you bro!"

"Yeah! Yeah! Other planets, they always so scared when they hear "Beerus". Oh, we Alpacans, we think it's cool!"

"Cuz you blow planets up!"

"Well now, isn't that just interesting. You actually like that fact, even though it might be yours next."

"Iunno, I guess I'm kinda envious bro. I wish I could blow planets up. Hah hah hah!" The Guardian named Cohfee said.

These people... they're so... stupid! How in the world did they manage to get a Guardian promoted among them?

"A sentiment I've heard many before you share. Now let's get down to business. What do you have for me?"

"Grass!"

"Y- Wait... what did you just say just now?"

"Grass!" The chef named Tohfee reiterated.
>>
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"BEHOLD, BRO!"

Before Beerus was set out a long buffet of many boxes and bowls containing various strands of long and short grass. But the thing is, all the grasses were of different colors. Some were soft, some were hard.

"What's all this then? Rainbow grass?"

"No, no, nooooo! Not just any grass! These grasses have ALL the flavors!" Cohfee said.

"Yeah! Used to be just normal grass. Not anymore! We used the Alpacan Dragon Balls to wish for our planet to be seeded with so many grasses for every flavor, bro!" Tohfee explained.

"So what you're saying is, the grass on your planet has distinct flavors based on the color?"

"Yep."

"Every flavor, you say?"

"Yeah! Every flavor you think of bro."

"Butter, Peanut Butter, Banana, Pineapple, Chocolate, Ham... there's a grass for everything on Ooanmit, bro!" Cohfee says.

"And you made it this way by using your planet's own Dragon Balls?"

"Oh yeah. I created them, so I just use them for whatever, bros." Cohfee admits.

Beerus picks up one of the strands of grass, a brown one that was hard and solid, and bites it.

"Huh. It tastes just like dark chocolate. They weren't bluffing."

Both Alpacans nod up and down.

"That seems like a rather frivolous misuse of something like a pair of Dragon Balls." Whis said, raising his finger.

"Eh? How come, bro?"

"On Earth and Planet Namek, which also have their own Dragon Balls, such things are only used to noble ends, with virtuous wishes in mind rather than selfish ones."

"Huh? But what's wrong with our wish?" Tohfee tilted his head; "It made every Alpacan happy to have such variety, bro!"

"Are you sure that wish was made with everyone benefiting in mind instead of just yourselves?"

"Ehhhhhh...."

"Um... Well.... uh..."

"Hnnnn...."
>>
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'Seems like a blatant misuse of a divine gift handed by the Kais. Although, I don't care personally. But, Whis does bring up a good point. In order for this universe to improve fast enough for me to be able to have a chance at winning those prizes in Grand Zeno's next tournament, I need every Kai working efficiently, damn it! But who the is real problem between these Guardians that don't report in to their Kais and the Kais not reaching out for reports themselves...? Do I blame King Kai for this? Or these impudent Alpacans? Oh, and their food is rather generic. It's just grass for every occasion. They must think they've reached some magnum opus by creating this rainbow grass stuff. Annoying.'

>How many stars is Ooanmit Grasses?
>>
>>6076259
>3 stars
This isn't offensively bad, but it is bland. Average at best. Let's tell them to make something better of it for when we return in a few millennia or so.
>>
>>6076259
>3 Stars.
Good wish, but they did nothing at all to improve on it. No refinement. You could make so many dishes from these instead of keeping them raw.
If they worked with the bunny people they could make legendary dishes from grass alone.
>>
>>6076259
>3. For as lackluster as their dishes are, there's still a good variety of flavors and textures on display.
>>
>>6076243
I wonder if the other universe's Supreme Kais ever threaten suicide to make their God of Destruction more pliant.

>>6076247
>"On Earth and Planet Namek, which also have their own Dragon Balls, such things are only used to noble ends, with virtuous wishes in mind rather than selfish ones."
I hope we aren't in the GT continuity then.

>>6076259
3.5 stars, it had more variety than the rabbits but the presentation was terrible and the service was more than wanting.
>>
>>6076261
>+1
>>
>>6076259
3 stars. But just barely.

Well, it's not really a terrible wish, but at the same time... Jeez... I guess using it for somewhat selfish wishes is ultimately better than what the "Guardian" on Earth did and just let total chaos reign over who's grabbing the balls before letting them be used properly by Goku and Friends. ...Well, except when Bulma uses it for beauty care, but again, better than nutjobs looking for it, like that Red army dwarf.

Also, they could at least have said the "best flavors," the dark chocolate just seems to be dark chocolate rather than really good dark chocolate. Also, I doubt they actually have meat grass, or have let it die out, which is a shame, getting to gorge yourself on meat while getting the benefits of eating veggies sounds fun.
>>
Hypothetical little poll here. Note that I'm not planning to do anything anytime soon but I like to save my ideas for the future. But which of these titles do you guys like the sound of more for another potential oneshot in the future?

Newly Promoted Supreme Kai Quest?
-Or-
Making The Donuts With Hit: Assassinations in U6?
-OR-
Justice Quest: The Deeds of the Pride Troopers?
>>
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>>6076322
>Justice Quest
ENTER
>>
>>6076322
>Newly Promoted Supreme Kai Quest?
>>
>>6076322
>Learning to be Perfectly Happy Without a Purpose: Cell's Post-Victory Autobiography
Imagine. He beats the Z-fighters. Earth is his to do as he wishes with. But...there is nobody left that can really challenge him. What is the point of a perfect being now made obsolete by completion of his purpose? He now must find a new purpose, no matter how many attempts it takes. He will display his PERFECTION until he meets something that can truly challenge him, defeating the best of the best in:
>COOKING
>SEWING
>PAINTING
>WRITING
>DANCING
>SINGING
>ACTING
And many more!
>>
>>6076374
IIRC, he said he was going to destroy Earth after the tournament, so I imagine Cell would have just flown around the cosmos, beating and absorbing its strongest fighters.
>>
>>6076259
>2 Stars
Bland. Inoffensive but utterly uncreative. Plus, each grass is flavored and textured like one thing, right? No unique combinations of distinct textures and flavors to enhance a dish? Fuck that!

>>6076322
>Newly Promoted Supreme Kai Quest

>>6076389
Yeah, but 2iVStE2a's idea is better.
>>
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"Three stars. And I am being very generous with that rating."

"Three?" Cohfee says.

"Stars?" Tohfee says.

"Jack of all trades, master of none... need I say more on this subject? It's dull. Dreadfully boring. You've limited your cuisine to a maximum of two textures at any given time, soft and hard. Having every flavor is meaningless if you can't combine them to make new ones. It's infuriating, and so I must destroy."

"EEEK!"

"EYEHP!"

"W-What are you gonna destroy, bro?!"

"N-Not our planet, r-right? Bro? B-bro?!"

"Just half."

"...What?"

"Half?"
>>
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1+ HAKAI

"Whis, anymore planets?"

"Just one left, Lord Beerus. We're heading there now, to Planet Cinndorell."

The Alpacan experience left Beerus dissatisfied. He hoped the next one would too, if only to give him more of a drive to take that dissatisfaction out on whatever it was out there in the cosmos challenging him.
>>
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Planet Cinndorell was the spitting image of the typical continental world. It had the quirk of being a magical center amongst the cosmos of Universe 7. Originally, it was from another quadrant, but had made it's way to the northern quadrant, displaced by magic.

Whis had already heralded the imminent arrival of the God of Destruction via his messages sent out through his staff. Beerus was in for the biggest surprise yet on his journey upon arrival. When he and Whis both landed on the surface, at the arranged meeting area...

"AAAIIIIEEEE!"

"HE'S HERE! HE'S REAL!"

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

"JUDGMENT DAY IS HERE!"

...they saw the... congregation of the Cinndorellans fleeing in a panic, scurrying off to every distance, their short selves.

"My reputation precedes me." He commented with a grin.

"Oh my! I understand now! Ha ha ha! I don't know what I was thinking!" Whis giggled.

"What's so funny?"

"When I contacted this species, I thought they were invisible since I saw nothing in my staff. It seems I was wrong. They aren't invisible, they're simply really, really short, and I didn't look down far enough."

Beerus gazed forward as he saw one of the Cinndorellans bravely stepping forward, stricken with terror. Beerus and Whis had landed in the middle of a cult ceremony of some kind, or hallowed ground. Crystal balls hovered above pedestals, and rows of chairs were arranged in circles around the landing spot. Though, everyone was still fleeing.

"You must be the grand wizard of Cinndorell... Hmm..."

Whis stared awfully hard at him.

"Y-Yes! I am... the de-facto ruler of this planet, Grand Wizard Sharmeng... a-and I am... s-so very frightened to make yo-your a-ah-acquaintance!"

"Hmm. Now why might that be, little rat man?"

"...A-aah... ahh... d-don't you know...? What... what our people caused?!"

"I'm not following. Have you done something naughty? Trying to time travel? Ascend to godhood without the consent of the Kaioshin? Do you need punishing?"

"MM! P-PLEASE! HAVE MERCY ON US! WE DIDN'T DO IT! WE TRIED TO STOP HIM! WE DID!" The wizard suddenly squeaked.

Beerus merely raised an eyebrow at the green little rodent in bright orange, as he fell to his knees and put both hands together, begging for some nebulous forgiveness.

"We tried everything! But he! Bibidi! He made himself out like he was a messiah! Our people fell for his tricks! And when he had the magic he needed, he made sure to destroy all our technology and place a curse on our world! We had no means of leaving our atmosphere ever again, and he took our most advanced spaceship! Ever since then, our planet has been teleporting between galaxies, unable to stay put! We're all trapped down here!"

"I'm still very confused. How am I supposed to process this apology without knowing the context?"

"Allow me to shed some light." Whis said, raising his staff.
>>
The orb projected a screen, which showed the silhouette of... Majin Buu, sleeping on a couch within the residence of Mister Satan.

"Hm?"

"As I learned from the surviving Eastern Supreme Kai and Elder Kai, the former Southern, Western and Northern Supreme Kais, alongside the Grand Supreme Kai, were all either murdered or put out of commission permanently by Majin Buu in prior, more malevolent states the creature assumed. Unfortunately, the Southern, Western and Northern Supreme Kais are lost, destroyed alongside the malevolent Pure Buu that was eradicated by Son Goku. Daikaioh still yet remains absorbed into the being of the rotund Majin Buu, Lord Beerus."

Beerus was speechless. He felt his skin crawling.

"And... what does this have to do with these green rodents... exactly?!"

"A member of their species under the name 'Bibidi' was the one responsible for unleashing the original, primordial Majin Buu upon the seventh. He was the root cause of the rampage waged by the purer Buu which eliminate most of your insurances. He was in turn eliminated by East Supreme Kai, but survived on through a clone named Babidi, who awakened Majin Buu again on earth... and then nearly killed our Supreme Kai there again."

"GHK.... GUWHK! KC.... TCH... KC....!!!!"

Beerus lowered his head, feeling bullets of sweat pouring down the sides of his cranium.

These despicable little yellow... green rodents... these troublesome little wizards are the ones from where the cause of most of the insurances being lost arose. In other words... if this planet was Bibidi's birthplace, the one who unleashed Majin Buu, this planet was where it all began! The murder of multiple Supreme Kais linked by their lives to BEERUS!

"PLEASE! HAVE MERCY ON US!" Sharmeng begged again.

Beerus felt his aura burning the air as he grit his teeth.

"Dwwwnnnnnnnnnhhhhggg......!!!"

He was breathing fast and hard as he leaned over ever slightly, a nightmarish eye stabbing the trembling wizard.

"You.... damn rats.... YOU'RE the ones who got my insurances killed..."

"I'm not sure they're aware of THAT specific detail, Lord Beerus."

"Doesn't. Matter."

"We ack-acknowledge what we did! We've been praying for forgiveness every day since! We can't take back what Bibidi... then Babidi did! Murdering the gods themselves! We're sorry! WE'RE SO SORRY YOUR LORDSHIP! WE'LL DO ANYTHING TO REPENT!"

>Food. Now. (20+ ???)
>Die. Now. (2+ HAKAI)
>>
>>6076421
>Food. Now. (20+ ???)

UGGGGHHHHHHH, Couldn't they have all been fucking rat bastards and Bibidi was simply the one to stab the best to the top of the pile and kick down the ladder? Another zero-guilt annihilation would have been a nice warm up for a brawl.


...I hope they have good cake, I think Bibidi bribed Buu with cake.
>>
>>6076421
>Food. Now. (20+ ???)
>>
>>6076421
>>Food. Now. (20+ ???)
>>
>>6076422
Well at least they feel sorry about it and are willing to properly grovel..
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>>6076421
>Food. Now. (20+ ???)
>>
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>>6076422
>Couldn't they have all been fucking rat bastards
yfw if they turn out to actually be evil fucks and just groveling and reasoning to appease Beerus just like Babidi did when piccolo was crushing his barrier
>>
>>6076439
At least they aren't kid eaters. That's currently our lowest bar, morality wise. Food wise it's the guys who literally eat refrozen crab. Well, ate, they're gone.

...granted, Bibidi made something that's probably eaten thousands of kids so uh...

Oh (us), what if they try to serve us food enchanted to speak!?
>>
>>6076482
Hey, enchanted cuisine is perfectly fine so long as it tastes good.
>>
>>6075670
"Sama" is laying it on a little thick there.
>>
>>6076421
>Food. Now. (20+ ???)
The reason, the ONLY reason why I'm not pushing the nuke button is because that shuddering whelp was honest. We had no idea where Bibidi came from or that his race of wizards was still alive, and if we had to find out on our own we would HAVE to blow it up with no survivors. The fact that he came there and confessed the sins of his people as soon as we got here means that he knows his place. They're on thin ice, but ice nonetheless. This meal better be perfect.
>>
>>6076421
>Food. Now. (20+ ???)
We DEMAND nourishment!

>>6076496
Apostasy
>>
>>6076421
>Food. Now. (20+ ???)
yammers
>>
>>6076421
>Food. Now. (20+ ???)
They made a magical monster which creates food. Maybe they'll have some novel techniques to appease us?
>>
>>6076624
>They made a magical monster which creates food
To be absolutely fair, that's probably because the old Supreme Kai's fat ass made up the bulk of Buu's psyche after he was absorbed.
>>
>>6076624
Actually Bibidi didn't make Buu so much as found him.
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>>6076560
Suicidenowstasy
>>
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"Food. Now."

"Haah...?"

"FOOD! NOW!"

"A-Ah! Agh! O-OH! R-Right! How could I forget?! Okay... okay... okay! L-Let me see here.... uhhh... haaah...."

Sharmeng took some paces back, and he turned around, clutching his cheeks. Truth be told... he didn't actually have anything prepared for Beerus. No food, despite being specific instructions by the Attendant. He thought that confessing alone was enough to deter the god's rage. How wrong he was.

"Ooouuuhhh.... aaaaaah! What do I do? What do I dooooo??!!!"

"I hear you over there!"

"EEK!"

"These ears aren't just for show, you know. I want food! I came for food! NOW WHERE IS IT?!"

"A-Ah! J-Just a second more!"

"Well, a second just passed!"

Beerus raised his hand, producing the glowing sphere of a Ki blast.

"Where is it?!"

"AAAH! P... PAPARAPAPA!!!!"

"...?!"

The God of Destruction glanced up, and then dodged out of the way, elevating into the air.

"You dare try to crush me?!"

"NO! WAIT! LOOK THERE I TELL YOU!"

Beerus glanced at just what it was that came down and nearly landed on him. He was shocked to see what it was.

"Just what I imagine it took for Bibidi to bribe the destructive and uncontrollable monster he unleashed so long ago! The largest, tastiest cake in the whole universe!"

The towering cake before him was stacked high, with four layers of yellow cake dough, and multiple layers of frosting wrapping it entirely. There was so many colors, so there must have been so many flavors!

And.... and it! AND IT...!

"It's on the dirty ground!"

"Eh?!"

"Where's the plate at, wizard?! You're testing my patience..."

"A-Ah.... d... Does it matter?! You can just eat off the top, can't you...? I mean... it's not like you'll even be able to eat it all anyway, it's much too big! The fattest cake in the world for the skinniest god. I mean earnestly, just use your brai- I mean, just think about it, y-yes...? It's the biggest, tastiest cake of all time... you wouldn't really say no to it, would you?" Sharmeng said with a weaselly smile etched on his face.

>What does Beerus think?
>>
>>6076845
>"Well, I couldn't deny my gracious host the first bite if I've inconvenienced them like this, go ahead. Also, if you've made any "errors" it'll give them time to correct your foolish mistakes, won't it?"

Time to find out whether they've got resting weasel face or are doing the idiotic thing of trying to kill you through poison or some crap like that. Or maybe Whis can have the first bit if they want.
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>>6076849
+1, we aren't about to fall for a trap so obvious
>>
>>6076849
+1. And make him eat it off the bottom, since it's 'no big deal'.
>>
>>6076849
>+1
>>
Beerus smirked then. A devilish idea came to mind.

"I couldn't deny my gracious host the first bite when I've inconvenienced them like this. Go ahead. Have the first sample. Also, if you've made any errors, you'll have time to correct them, now won't you?"

"E-EEEHH??!! You want ME to try it?"

"Mhm."

"B-But... Oh no no no no! I couldn't! I already had... uh... f-fried chicken before you arrived! I'm full! Really now! Couldn't eat another bite if I hoped to!"

"Nonsense. One always saves room for dessert."

"I'm not-"

"Eat it."

Sharmeng looked up at Beerus with a quizzical stare. But when he saw that gleam in his eyes, he shrunk down. He was being serious. There was no mistaking it, that if he refused to comply, he'd be exterminated on the spot.

He was being tested, his tricks sniffed right out, and Sharmeng at this point couldn't do anything to hide it further. When he tried to walk behind the cake and use an incantation silently, he noticed Beerus floating around the corner of the cake, watching him.

"...Eeeh!"

"Well, come on now. I haven't gotten all day."

Sharmeng gulped. He reached out towards the cake.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Whis said, stopping him in his tracks.

"Huh?!"

"Why not?"

"Well, the cake just happens to be full of purgatives. Absolutely loaded down with them."

"Oh, is that so?"

Beerus glared at Sharmeng.

"A... Aaaa... AAAAH! P-PAPARAPAPA!"

The cake was enveloped in a green glow for a split second.

"T-THEY'RE GONE NOW! ALRIGHT?! NO MORE DIRTY TRICKS! I SWEAR! IT'S JUST NORMAL, CLEAN CAKE NOW! I PROMISE YOU!"

"...And why would you dare to try any tricks with me in the first place?"

"C-Can you really blame me?!"

Beerus bit down on the chunk of cake he had in his hand just then, licking the frosting from his lips. "Fair point. And you know, that trick you just tried to pull might have even worked."

"E-Eh? When did he get that, I didn't even see him move...?"

"And you know, it's perfectly-hrummm! Mm. Reasonable to-nhrm...mm... Glp! To try everything you can to drive me off." Beerus said in between munches; "Just one thing though. It makes me mad. Really mad."

"Y-You're not going to destroy our planet, are you?! Not after all we've already suffered?!"

"Did you think I was really falling for that sob story?"

"...Nrgh...!"

"T... The Great Bibidi promised this wouldn't happen... he... he said our kind would get to rule the whole universe once Majin Buu killed everyone else! But he did curse our planet to be lost! He did leave us stranded here. That's the truth, he betrayed us, and now we're all bitter and alone."

"I'm glad you finally confess the truth. So in the end, none of you really felt bad about what your kind caused after all."
>>
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"Who should feel sorry for you deities? You don't do anything for anyone but yourselves... it's a shame Majin Buu didn't get to finish off the rest!"

"I think we're done here."

"Your consensus, Lord Beerus?"

"The cake was pretty good, I will say. It's nice and buttery, and the frostings are delicious..."

"WAIT! There's no reason to destroy us! We're already doomed! We can't leave this planet ever again thanks to Bibidi's curse. It will just keep teleporting across galaxies without end. We're stuck here!" Sharmeng yelped; "Anyone who visits doesn't teleport with us, neither do their items! We can't save ourselves or be saved!"

"Destruction will set you free." Beerus said, licking his fingers.

"No! We don't want to die and go to Hell! That's even worse than what we already suffer! Just leave us alone!"

"Hmm..."

Supreme Kai suddenly spoke up.

"So Bibidi's race is just as evil as he was! This is no good! They can't be left alive. What if eventually someone strong enough to break their curse finds their teleporting planet and unleashes them upon the universe again? They might try to cause another incident like what happened with Buu! They need to be sent to Hell right away!" Shin exclaimed.

>If they get left alone like this, then even if they're cursed to spend the rest of eternity on their planet, they'll still be alive, and still thriving because of their magic. Plus, Supreme Kai thinks they deserve it. Destruction it is.
>They're no longer a threat like this. Let these wizards rot on their planet. They can't possibly survive the next billion years on it anyway, even with magic, and when they're all dead they'll be in Hell anyway. This is good enough for me.
>>
>>6076889
>Destroy their magic. All of it, for the entire species. No spells will ever be cast by their kind again. A fitting punishment for their abuse of it.
>>
>>6076889
>0 Stars. They served you like a common house pet and tried to poison you on top of it! Even Chronoa treats her victims with some respect!
>If they get left alone like this, then even if they're cursed to spend the rest of eternity on their planet, they'll still be alive, and still thriving because of their magic. Plus, Supreme Kai thinks they deserve it. Destruction it is.
>>
>>6076889
>If they get left alone like this, then even if they're cursed to spend the rest of eternity on their planet, they'll still be alive, and still thriving because of their magic. Plus, Supreme Kai thinks they deserve it. Destruction it is.
we're a mercyful god
>>
>>6076904
+1

>>6076889
>>
>>6076889
>If they get left alone like this, then even if they're cursed to spend the rest of eternity on their planet, they'll still be alive, and still thriving because of their magic. Plus, Supreme Kai thinks they deserve it. Destruction it is.
Unless there's a way to just destroy the planet but keep them alive and teleporting.
>>
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"For once, I agree with you, Kai. The service here was awful. And they even tried to give me food poisoning. This isn't even half as terrible as the Supreme Kai of Time's best. Zero stars, easily."

"Zero stars?!" Sharmeng squeaked. The wizard looked frustrated. "What do you think this is, a restaurant?!"

"Tch. That's all that mortal polities might as well be before me. The God of Destruction is above all "kings" and "emperors" and "wizards"."

"Why you....!"

Beerus held his hand out, and again produced the flash of a charged Ki orb.

"Time to say goodbye, Cinndorellan. Go join your wretched Bibidi in Hell!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

And then Beerus blasted it forward, and Sharmeng yelled in terror as the purple sphere impacted the ground, boring into the crust. The planet's terrain and shape began bulging, before white lights burst free and the body began to crack...

20+ HAKAI
>>
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Planet Cinndorell and Bibidi's species was eradicated, extinct in an instant.

...Destruction approved by Supreme Kai on grounds of species being especially dangerous.
Hakai points converted.
20+ MERCY

"Whis, I think I've had enough food for now."

"You're not full are you? You know what I tell you about fighting on a full stomach."

"Who do you take me for? I'm nowhere close. Still, I'd like to go grab some lunch from Earth before we head home for today and leave things to those Kai. Let's proceed towards that massive Ki we felt now. I'm itching to see if I'll get a good fight."

"Hmhm. As you wish, Lord Beerus. We'll be off now. Hang on tight."

Beerus pressed his hand to Whis's back, and the Angel took them off at full speed through his warp. Now, they were headed for their last destination.

Towards the massive power.
>>
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Final score.
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>>6076939
HA! GET FUCKED CHAMPA!
>>
Qm really decided to give us a heart attack and make us think we had shit luck and ran into the one Bibidi Apologist on the planet. Well played.
>>
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~~~

Intermission.

So, that was the primary plot of the oneshot out of the way. I had an itch to do something interesting like this and make something about exploring the setting of Dragon Ball and I'm happy with how it turned out. I did have a few more species planned, the Fu Lums (gas consumers who would try to get Beerus high and also a reference to that which must not be spoken of, and Memory Seers, yithian looking fuckers who don't actually eat, but manipulate memory, and would have tried to help Beerus remember the sensation of the food that Reality Machine created in that one Dr. Slump filler episode, without the obvious side effects.

I wasn't actually going to make a fight scene, despite it being Dragon Ball, but I decided I might as well make it have a climactic end using the last species/character I did make, who is out for vengeance on Beerus as was already teased.

While I work on that, what did you guys think about the oneshot? And which species was your favorite? Additionally, which of the foods in the quest would you try the most?

~~~
>>
>>6076944
>what did you guys think about the oneshot?
I'm biased because I will always give anything Dragon Ball the benefit of the doubt, but this oneshot was actually surprisingly comfy.
>And which species was your favorite?
I greatly enjoyed the Sparksmen and their blunt delivery. That they actually had something worth eating was a nice bonus.
>Additionally, which of the foods in the quest would you try the most?
Anything the Pebblemen made. That entire spread just sounds mouthwatering.
>>
>>6076944
Aw, I would have liked to see "The unspeakables" but sometimes people go apeshit over stuff like that.

I liked the pebblemen as a concept the most. Their food also sounded great, but if you asked me which food I'd have on a daily basis I think I'd probably go for having the flavored grass so I could eat healthier while eating icecream all the time. Well unless it doesn't transfer the temperature properties of the food, then I'd probably go for chili-dog flavored grass.

Also watching Beerus try not to spill his spaghetti when talking to the bunnies was funny.
>>
>>6076944
>what did you guys think about the oneshot?
Spectacular stuff. Glad I joined! Arguably a bit railroady, but it IS just a short oneshot, and I think the players' discussion really made it feel participatory in the end, anyway.

>And which species was your favorite?
I think the Oonamit Alpacans, personally. They were charmingly dumb. The Pebblemen and Shishishians, too; they reminded me of the Lizard Herders and Saurosapients from All Tomorrows.

>Additionally, which of the foods in the quest would you try the most?
Pebbleman cuisine sound great, but I'd pick Freiza Clan food. I'm a sucker for shellfish, and even their wine sounds delicious to me.
>>
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Artificial Perilous Matter Extroplanet ABS-2

...

"Hm?! Whis, we're outside the boundaries of the North Galaxy."

"Quite. It seems the power was coming from this extroplanet. A type of exoplanet found beyond a galactic boundary."

"Interesting. How did this world come to be then? Did one of the Kais misplace something back in the day?"

"Doesn't appear to be the case, my lord. This planet is only six million years old if I'm right. It was created just a million years before the rampage of Majin Buu, if my reference of time is correct."

"...Hm? So then for six million years, this planet has been drifting out of here until all of a sudden out of nowhere, that Ki signature on it explodes across the Universe."

"Do you sense danger?"

"I sense nothing good afoot, Whis. I've got a bad feeling about this."

"I see. If it worsens your mood any, Goku, Vegeta and Broly are already there."

"WHAT?! What are they... Oh, I see. So Goku must have used his instant transmission and figured you'd find him later so they wouldn't be stranded." Beerus huffed.

"Either that or he would just make an emergency exit to North Kai's planet as he always can." Whis said.

"Well, we better pick up the pace before they do anything rash. Onward, Whis."
>>
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Beerus and Whis closed in towards the strange and mysterious extroplanet. The world before them was clouded and possessed of a depressive atmosphere, with a dead sky of exotic and deadly gasses. The ground could not be seen through the darkened fogs, and black structures much like marble rose so high as to stand above the clouds, just at the tip of the breathable atmosphere. A layer of oxygen encircled the planet.

When Beerus and Whis arrived, heralded by the beam of light they traveled in touching down on the flat surface, Son Goku, who was there along with Vegeta and Broly, looking around out of curiosity, were startled and faced their new arrivals.

"Yo, Beerus!" Goku called out, waving like an idiot.

"Goku!" He snapped, stepping forward and pinching the Saiyan's ear like a scolding teacher; "What do you think you're doing here exactly? Don't you realize how rash it is to just go leaving my planet without Whis?!"

"Ow! OW! Owowow! H-Hey! I just wanted to see what it is was all! Totes, Lord Beerus! Ouch!" Goku whined as Beerus released him; "Kg! You didn't have to go tearing my off, jeez..."

"This was too reckless of you, Goku, you had no way to know if this planet even had a breathable atmosphere for you Saiyans. And you two..."

"It wasn't my idea." Vegeta interrupted. "I didn't want to come but that idiot grabbed me just as he convinced Broly to go with him and now we're here too. I already chewed him for it!"

Goku grinned. "Hehehe! You can't blame me for being curious! After I felt that wave a second time, I knew it wasn't Broly when he blew up that decorative planet!"

"Blew up what?" Beerus squinted.

"U-Uhhh! Anyway, I had a suspicion from the start and when it was confirmed, I felt a cold shiver running down my spine! It felt almost like you getting all ready for a fight, but it wasn't God Ki! I could sense it for sure."

"Admittedly... I also felt a rush of nervousness. What could possibly be out there that makes me think of Lord Beerus without being Lord Beerus?" Vegeta posited; "I have a bad feeling about this."

"Oh yeah! Besides, if it is some kind of super strong threat to the universe, at least we brought backup, right?" Goku said, pointing over his shoulder the puzzled Broly.

Broly blinked his eyes, looking left and right, and even behind himself before standing there, mouth agape.

"...M-Me?"

"Hey! Who knows, it might be some good training to help get that power under control!" Goku encouraged him.

"That doesn't excuse you just going without permission! You should have asked us first, Saiyan! Ugh! The height of your smoothed brain..."

"Smoothed brain? Uhh... I'm pretty sure brains are all wrinkly and not smooth though!" Goku cocked a confused eyebrow.

Beerus rested his snout in his palm as he rolled his eyes and stepped forward.

"Whatever. Did you figure out what was emitting colossal such Ki?"
>>
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"It seems to be this planet itself." Vegeta deduced.

Whis took a step forward, holding his staff down, letting it shine a light. Where his light shone, the fogginess cleared a bit, revealing the blackened marble of the floor.

"I think he's right, Lord Beerus. Just look there."

Everyone stepped forward, and gazed at the floor below them.

...It was... shifting. The floor was constantly lifting, with tiny tiles that would raise and then sink.

"No wonder it feels like a harsh wind is making it unsteady to stand here..."

Goku rubbed the back of his head.

"Is this planet alive? Are we going to fight a planet?!"

"Hey! If anyone's going to fight, it's me. I planned on coming here to see if there was a fight from the get go."

"Awww. But Broly could really use a struggle right now, don't you think?"

"Hrnn..."

"You know, he's not entirely wrong." Whis mused.

"And besides, me and Vegeta both missed our chance to fight that Cell Max thing on Earth, Gohan already killed it and we didn't even know!" Goku complained.

"Ergh! Darn you Kakarot, if you want a fight so bad I'm right here you know..."

"A fight without any holds barred, duh. You're a friend, so we just spar."

"Hah! Friend..."

"Wait, you want me to fight...?!" Broly spoke up.

>No way! This fight is the Destroyer's! You'll get your chance next time!
>Fine... you all may go first, but the Destroyer gets a turn before it dies, damn it!
>>
>>6077041
>Fine... you all may go first, but the Destroyer gets a turn before it dies, damn it!
Let's let some of the meals from earlier digest for a moment.
>>
>>6077041
On the one hand, letting Goku, Vegeta, and Broly do this would help them develop their powers for the future tournament.

On the other, this thing dared to fuck up your food review schedule, nearly caused you to not destroy the planet of meddlesome wizards that were certainly going to cause more bullshit in the future, and these Saiyans deserve a little punishment for messing up your home.

>No way! This fight is the Destroyer's! You'll get your chance next time!
>>
Good to know those potato wizards were as rotten as the rest after all.
>>6077041
>No way! This fight is the Destroyer's! You'll get your chance next time!
I get the nagging sensation that Goku will do a Goku and fuck everything up at a crucial moment.
>>
>>6076944
I don't know anything about and I don't care about Dragon Ball, but I like the adventures of funny cat man eating food and nuking planets. Good art, good stuff.

>>6077041
>No way! This fight is the Destroyer's! You'll get your chance next time!
>>
>>6077041
>No way! This fight is the Destroyer's! You'll get your chance next time!
>>
>>6077041
>No way! This fight is the Destroyer's! You'll get your chance next time!
>>
>>6077041
>Fine... you all may go first, but the Destroyer gets a turn before it dies, damn it!
If three Saiyans can beat it, it isn't worth our time.
>>
>>6077041
>No way! This fight is the Destroyer's! You'll get your chance next time!
Nah they almost fucked up our review! Besides if we let the Saiyans at it first this fight is going to last for the next 20 episodes!
>>
>>6077041
>No way! This fight is the Destroyer's! You'll get your chance next time!
>>
"No way! None of you are going to fight! You're not the only ones with a fight-itch to scratch." Beerus retorted.

"Aww, come on, Lord Beerus! How are we supposed to get stronger then?" Goku said with some dismay.

"On your own, that's how." Beerus said as he walked past them.

"Don't want to risk any of them becoming more viable candidates for your position?" Whis smugly asked from behind.

"Ugh, Whis, I'll destroy you someday for continuing to bug me with that idea."

"You are the only one I want, Beerus the Destroyer. Come forward."

Suddenly, a wizened voice called out from ahead, and everyone stood at attention. Beerus squinted into the fog as it subsided and revealed a flight of stairs of the same black material that composed the planet leading up. Goku and Vegeta now had a serious look about their face, Broly staring with unease, and Whis frowning from a sense of... deja vu.

Beerus began ascending the flight of stairs without any hesitation. It seems he was being singled out among their group, and what's more... it confirmed Old Kai's suspicion that the fluctuation in Ki from this planet was a direct challenge, meant to lure in the God of Destruction.
>>
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...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQ4zhA1j1Ao

...

First, the God of Destruction's ears broke the top of the stairs, and then the rest of him. Behind him immediately was Whis, Goku, then Vegeta and Broly. The five of them walked forward and stopped. They were at the top of one of the spires of black marble standing tall on the planet. This one did not have any shifting material, it was still and tranquil among the rough.

Ahead of them, a short person cloaked in a black robe stood there, looking at the flaxen and lime colors of the sky's outer gas composition. His white hair was impossibly long, with two distinct curls that stood up like horns on his head. He turned around, and his skin was grey. His empty sockets lit up with white pupils as he smiled.

"I have been waiting for this a good, long time."

"Really now? And just who are you anyway? Well, whoever you are, you're a fool for sure, going out of your way to challenge me."

"It has been that long, hasn't it? I suppose you might not remember. Well, I don't care to joggle your memory. All you need to know is that, six million years ago, you, Beerus, destroyed my people and their homeworld. For six million years, I carried with me an unimaginable sorrow and loathing for you. I have been waiting for this a day a very long time... this day, on which you finally die for your sin.

"Hah! Oh, now that's rich! Another revenge quest against me. Personal vendettas against the God of Destruction aren't uncommon, and they always end so 'well' too. But you seem to have gone the extra mile. I reckon whatever you've got for me is about... eh, half as strong as my full power. I admit, I'm intrigued to see."

"Hold your breath, you won't be so amused much longer."

Whis stepped forward then, taking Beerus even by surprise when he addressed the old man.

"Master Yerushalmi."

"At least the Angel's memory isn't so bad."
>>
"Eh? You remember this person, Whis?"

"Yes. His race was the Cha-Lah. They were among the most powerful species you've ever extinguished. However, you might remember them better by their later name... the Armors." Whis enlightened.

"Armors? That's a funny name..." Goku commented.

"It was within reason for the Cha-Lah to accept such a name. We had become like living armor, capable of withstanding anything by the time we met our end at the hands of Beerus." Yerushalmi explained, boiling with impotent rage; "Such was our might, he called us a... a "dimensional menace", the nerve of him."

"Dimensional menace? That doesn't sound good... what did you guys even do?"

Whis turned to the probing Goku. "His kind were known for their invention of a very advanced space folding technique which they used to transcend the normal limits of matter. In other words, they were able to fully control and modify any molecular structure, down to the individual molecules."

"Huh? I don't really get it, but it sounds neat..."

"Oh, neat it was. This planet you see before you? It's made of the same artificial perilous matter that I'm made of. In fact, I am one and the same as this planet, a part of it, just like it is a part of me. All Armors were like this once. We assimilated matter as we pleased." Yerushalmi said, pacing back and forth to his left and right.

"You should have seen it... it was such... a glorious dawn for a developing people. We were immortal... we could scatter our molecules across dimensions, not even Heaven or Hell was closed off to us. We drew power from every level of existence itself! We could even travel TIME to an extent..."

Yerushalmi stopped, facing the group again.

"Time... they say it is a crime to travel time. Gods like Beerus often enforce the law that criminalizes such things harshly."

"Is that why he wiped you all out? You kept meddling in things beyond mortals?"

Yerushalmi frowned at Goku's question.

The Armor Man suddenly clenched his fists, grit his teeth, and began to growl, barely containing his rage as his face burned red and the veins throbbed out of his skin. Goku took a step back, as if spooked by just how mad the Armor became then.

"Do you... think he wiped us out because of... us daring to claim our manifest destiny?! To master the forces of the universe itself?! To dare step higher...?! To dare and trivialize time itself?! You think it was because of that!? No... that's not why he destroyed us...."

Yerushalmi pointed at Beerus.

"HE ASKED US TO MAKE HIM THE MOST DELICIOUS FOOD OF ALL TIME WITH OUR POWERS! AND WHEN WE REFUSED HIS CHILDISH REQUEST, HE DESTROYED MY KIND AND OUR ORIGINAL HOMEWOOOORRRLLLDDDD!!!!!"

Everyone was speechless.
>>
Beerus never broke the shared glare he and Yerushalmi had. But then, he suddenly lifted his head

"HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

He laughed.

"That is SO like me to do. Now I remember! Hahahaha! That was truly a sight to see back then. Hahaha, your people were so full of themselves. Honestly, you had it coming, treating me so disrespectfully back then, Armor! But if you want to know... it wasn't just my judgment alone."

"What do you mean you filthy overgrown pussycat?!"

"It was also the Grand Minister who directly told me to exterminate your kind after you failed to provide adequate cuisine."

"...The grand vizier of the multiverse wanted us dead?!"

"That he did. He knows a threat to the universes when he sees one, Armor." Beerus smiled.

"He tells the truth. I too remember the Grand Minister's opinion on the matter." Whis said, closing his eyes, almost as if in shame over this whole situation.

Yerushalmi seethed with unending anger at this. It was a new revelation to the Armor, and he hunched over, gripping the sides of his head as he struggled to grasp this reality.

"Ordained.... destruction... just because we were better... better than everyone else... this... this is reality?!"

Yerushalmi lifted his head slowly, a maddened motivation now possessing him beyond revenge.

"I see.... then this is more now than just exacting revenge on Beerus. This is a greater matter. The gods themselves are all corrupt... all rotten!"

"Woah! Hey, it's one thing to hate Beerus for destroying your people, but saying that every god is evil isn't right either! Some of them are really upstanding folk that care about the littler people! Like King Kai and Shin!" Goku argued.

"Kakarot, it's no use. We're talking six million years of hate built up on this rock in space. He's not going to change his mind." Vegeta pointed out.

Yerushalmi looked up the sky.

"I see now... it was unfair from the start... we never stood a chance!" He said, in a state between sobbing in despair and letting loose and roaring with fury; "This universe... this whole world... is so unfair... it was rigged from the start! Gods... this rotten world! I HATE IT! I HATE IT ALL! I LOATHE IT! WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN WINNERS! BUT! WE! LOOOOST!"
>>
>Zero Gods Plan
Now I want to put this guy and Zamasu in a room and see what happens.
>>
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"This world... is worthless. These gods are evil... a glorified mob ruling existence! Such things... do not deserve to exist! I will... I will wipe them out! I will WIPE IT ALL OUT!"

Goku and Vegeta grunted.

"If you're threatening to wipe out the universe, then I'm sorry, but we'll have to stop you." Goku said, assuming a fighting pose.

"Stand back. I already told you, this is my fight. I'll take care of this."

Beerus stepped forward. Yerushalmi lurched over, a glazed over look in his twitching eyes as this maniacal grin etched over his face.

"Hehehehehehehahahahahahahahaha! You can't stop me... I've accumulated the power I needed to vanquish you these last six million years. All the unfairness, all the cruelty... it will fall before me and the Absolute Armor..."

"Be my guest. But before you get to take a swing at the universe and the universes beyond, you'll have to get through me."

"A simple matter. Did you want to write your obituary first? Maybe a will? Or perhaps you'd like to have a last meal before your execution?" Yerushalmi taunted.

"Oh, so you finally want to make me the most delicious food of all time now?"

"Oh I could. It was never of problem of couldn't, just didn't want to me. Although, I prefer the knuckle sandwiches I'm about to feed you instead. Hahahahahaha...."

"Hmph!"

"Grrnn!"

Beerus and the dwarfish Yerushalmi both faced off intensely... both waiting to see who would make the first move. Whis, Goku, Vegeta and Broly all watched, on the edge of their seats...

>What will Beerus do?
>>
>>6077486
I mean...I can't really blame him. Having your world blown up because the deities decided you were a threat to them is a pretty rough deal. He couldn't even begin recreating them since they'd just get blown up again.

But, you know, it's not like we're gonna just give up and die right? Not really any option but
>Fight
>>
>>6077486
>Fight, but take it easy and keep your full power under wraps for now, lest you destroy him instantly.
>>
>>6077486
>Foit
>>
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"...!"

Beerus dashed forward, gliding across the pitch black platform. His claw came up, and Yerushalmi didn't move an inch, merely raising his outstretched arms and closing his eyes to embrace the strike.

"Hm!"

Whis and Vegeta didn't react, but Goku and Broly seemed astonished as Beerus went straight for the kill, at only about half power. Well, he didn't go straight for the kill, his enemy just didn't evade.

"Disappointing."

"Ha... ha... ha... ha... ha..."

Yerushalmi's body was severed in twain, slowly melting into the air, into a vapor, and what was left of him below was absorbing into the black marble.

"Now let the carnage begin..."

Yerushalmi dissipated.

"That was a let down." Vegeta said; "Tell me when it's time to go back already."

"No matter who it is, or the reason, I won't tolerate anyone plotting my assassination. Let this be the end of your history, dimensional menace."

Beerus began to walk away after he turned around. Whis squinted.

"...It's not over yet."

The entire artificial planet began to quake.

"Hm?!"
>>
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>>6077494
>t.
>>
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpnV9uR35Kk
>>
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The anomalous, perilous material of the artificial Armor planet began to shift in the spot where Yerushalmi was seemingly destroyed. Beerus looked on with amazement as the molecules flowed up. Visually, it was like a smoke rising, and condensing to form a new shape. The fog released a wave of extreme power that nearly blew everyone back off their feet!

"...It's gotten stronger!"

Just in that instant, the enormous Ki had jumped. It was no longer half as strong as Beerus, but around, to Whis' calculation, fifty five percent of his full power. It grew.

"Woah! That's as strong as when we fought above Earth!" Goku said.

"No, it was already like that before. It suddenly increased!" Vegeta corrected him.

"Guys? What's going on?! Are we going to have to fight the entire planet?!" Broly asked.

The fog before Beerus was thick, and defining itself. It took on a massive shape, humanoid. It formed arms and legs, and a lithe body. Spikes jutted out of its limbs and back then, and a glowing accent grew along the chest and face.

Before Beerus was a dimensional monster.

"ABSOLUTE ARMOR! KILL HIIIIIMMMMM!!!" Yerushalmi's disembodied voice sang, as his consciousness faded.

"He's gone... but now this planet is alive. What we see before us... is the embodiment of it." Whis mused under his breath. "No... it's the embodiment of the Armors themselves. It's the height of their space folding technologies..."

Absolute Armor burst alight with a dark blue aura, its body burned red beneath the aura.

"SH... SHHHH... SHHH...!" It hissed.

"You can't be much stro-"

Beerus was cut off. A force suddenly uppercut his jaw, launching him back. He flipped through the air, landing on his feet.

"What?!"

"It hit him without even moving!" Came Vegeta.

Goku was shocked. "You're... you're actually right! It DIDN'T move, at all! And it still hit him! What gives?!"

"Ghrnnn! BRING IT ON!"

"SHHH! SHHHH SHHHHH!!!!!"

>Douse this thing with Ki blasts and overwhelming firepower! (Long ranged battle!)
>Close in for a brawl. Let's see how durable the folded molecules of Armor really is! (Put it on the defense!)
>Wait, take a moment to examine the situation... something's not right here... (Leave oneself open to attack!)
>>
>>6077515
>Close in for a brawl. Let's see how durable the folded molecules of Armor really is! (Put it on the defense!)
You know this reminds me of the Unbidden from Stellaris. Kinda looks like them.
>>
>>6077515
No write-ins I'm assuming?
>>
>>6077515
>Wait, take a moment to examine the situation... something's not right here... (Leave oneself open to attack!)
Ultra Ego! Every strike you make will make us stronger. And we'll be able to get a clear picture of your abilities in the process.
>>
>>6077476
>"HE ASKED US TO MAKE HIM THE MOST DELICIOUS FOOD OF ALL TIME WITH OUR POWERS! AND WHEN WE REFUSED HIS CHILDISH REQUEST, HE DESTROYED MY KIND AND OUR ORIGINAL HOMEWOOOORRRLLLDDDD!!!!!"
Toriyama thought this was the height of comedy the bit was better with Buu anyway.

>>6077483
Doesn't Zamasu hate all mortals? He would probably hate this guys more than he hates mortals with god ki.

>>6077515
>Wait, take a moment to examine the situation... something's not right here... (Leave oneself open to attack!)
Maybe chuck some ki at the planet?
>>
>>6077519
You can write in something along with the vote, just like how your last post said to keep full power under wrap and I'll take it.
>>
>>6077529
Just checking, I know some QMs get persnickety about it.
>>6077515
>Wreath yourself in an aura of your own Hakai and stride foward. If this Armor can strike you past that, you'll at least get a better read of its abilites.
>>
>>6077534
+1. Supporting this option. Fuck yo' molecules
>>
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Beerus immediately recognized that something was fishy about the way that monster struck him without even moving. Standing straight, he lifted his hands, and a purple aura wrapped over his boy, one he disguised by raising his power level to emit a magenta light.

"He's doing just what Top did in the Tournament of Power..." Vegeta said, awestruck to see the trick again.

Absolute Armor stomped forward, one step, two steps.

"SHHH SHHH SHHH!"

Then it reeled back as its hand suddenly disintegrated!

"SH-!"

Whis nodded.

"I understand now. Yes, the Armor can manipulate molecules. It was attacking Beerus remotely using molecules alone."

"What?! It can attack at such an unseen level?" Vegeta blurted.

"Yes. In a way, so long as we're near this planet, it's attacks might be omnipresent in a way unless you can guard yourself."

Beerus smiled. It can't get him now he thought. Wreathed in a passive Hakai energy, anything it threw would be destroyed. Absolute Armor's hand regenerated however...

"Woah, did you see that? It just regrew it." Broly spoke.

"Yeah, it's just like Cell, or Buu. How did it do that?" Goku wondered.

Whis squinted again.

"Oh my. That's not good at all.

"What is it?" Broly asked.

"It seems Absolute Armor is constantly using the spacetime folding technique the Armors patented to scatter its molecules across dimensions. In other words, most of its body isn't even actually here in physical being. This thing is distributing itself across mathematical planes. I'm sure it could even reach the world of the Kais, or Hell! It's drawing power of all forms in from those dimensions and converting it to Ki, and it seems it can replenish new molecules spending Ki. This thing is using the universe itself as a battery!"

"That's nothing to be enthused over!" Vegeta made clear.

"On the contrary, I'm quite impressed they could create such a monster! Yerushalmi's consciousness already faded when Beerus killed him. Now all that's left behind is a monster fueled by his lingering will, his hatred and anger."

"Sooo... do you think it could really beat Lord Beerus? We might be in big trouble if it can." Goku said, pressing his fist into his palm.


"It all depends on how Lord Beerus handles this fight... You see, that thing is also absorbing his energy upon impact."

Vegeta went wide eyed. "You're kidding!"

"It's evolving as it fights... but maybe... hmmm..."
>>
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...

"SHHH... SH.... SHHHWWW!"

Absolute Armor suddenly punched forward, and Beerus spewed as a force drove into his stomach!

"GUH! H-How?!"

It got past the Hakai barrier!

Absolute Armor's body phased forward, right through Beerus! He looked back in time to see it coat its arm with Ki, before it stabbed back with its wrist spike, jabbing his back! It was painful, even though it didn't pierce his skin!

"HAH!" He grunted, spinning around and kicking it in the head, staggering it. He moved behind it quick in a trail of afterimages, and punched it in the side of its gut.

The creature was sent flying back easily, and then it swung mid air, delivering another sucker punch to Beerus on the cheek from afar, making him spit again.

"Why you!"

That punch... it equaled his last blow, even though its prior ones were weaker!

"GET LOST!"

Beerus leaped high, producing an array of pink swirling bullets. He gestured forward, and the bullets fired, bombarding Absolute Armor and blasting away chunks of its body. Its arm dissembled on the fly, and Beerus winced.

"...!"

He anticipated it, but couldn't react to its disembodied arm grabbing his neck and choking him!

"GHK!"

He looked forward and saw the damn thing regenerating again, lost mass replenishing from the smoky black fog flowing up to it from the planet below. It even sprouted a new arm, despite its detached one squeezing his neck.

"Not... good enough!" He growled, ripping the arm choking him off and crushing it to dust.

He flinched. The thing was in front of him in the air, looking down at him. It picked up in speed as well!

"....Sh.. Sh... Shhh...hh... hh...h..... hhheh... heh heh... heh heh...."

"You dare laugh at ME?!"

'...How did this damn thing bypass my Hakai barrier?! ...Wait, it couldn't be. It already figured it out... the same way Vegeta defeated that God of Destruction in training... it's a beast for sure, but smarter than it looks! This thing is adapting to me...'

>Enough of this! Time to put it down fast! (Elevate to 70% power and humiliate it!)
>Let's see how you do without your precious planet for material! (Sphere of Destruction!)
>I'll blow you away in an instant you freak! (God of Destruction's Anger! Beam struggle!)
>>
>>6077550
>Let's see how you do without your precious planet for material! (Sphere of Destruction!)
Whis, please put the mortals inside the cube, you know how fragile they are.
>>
>>6077550
>I'll blow you away in an instant you freak! (God of Destruction's Anger! Beam struggle!)
This is exciting! We don't want to end the battle too soon!
>>
>>6077550
>I'll blow you away in an instant you freak! (God of Destruction's Anger! Beam struggle!)
>>
>>6077550
>I'll blow you away in an instant you freak! (God of Destruction's Anger! Beam struggle!)
Well well well.
>>
>>6077550
>I'll blow you away in an instant you freak! (God of Destruction's Anger! Beam struggle!)
>>
>>6077549
>"On the contrary, I'm quite impressed they could create such a monster! Yerushalmi's consciousness already faded when Beerus killed him. Now all that's left behind is a monster fueled by his lingering will, his hatred and anger."
Ah just like Hachiyak, or Hildegarn, or Baby. I would say the movie/anime villains got repetitive but it's not like they didn't in the manga.
>>6077550
>Let's see how you do without your precious planet for material! (Sphere of Destruction!)
>>
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"...Hm! I get it, you're absorbing my energy as I strike you. Whether it's my Ki, or my kinetic energy, your body sucks it right up because of the composition, am I wrong?"

"....shhh...sh.... heh...heh...heh heh heh...."

Beerus scowled, but then he smirked.

"Damn, you might actually make me go all out. If you're managing to upscale yourself to match me, your plan is probably to win a battle of attrition. Once you're equal to my full strength, you'd be able to tire me out and butcher me. But I wonder... does a weakness happen to lie in your very same ability to absorb my energy? What if I perhaps... overloaded you?"

"....hrrrghh...!"

"Let's find out! HaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHHH!!!!"

Beerus' Ki exploded! The entire planet shook. Whis quickly tapped his staff, erecting a force field around himself and the others, one that kept them suspended in the air even as the platform below was blown away and the planet's surface was scoured.

"Seventy percent then! Let's see how you handle THIS YOU FREAK!"

He pointed forward with his finger, and fired an intense ray. His Anger.
>>
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"MmmMMMMMM!"

In response, Absolute Armor emitted a blinding beam from his chest, his Calculus Stream!

The red streak collided with Beerus's own yellow one, shaking the planet. No, the universe beyond it.

...

"Awaaahhhh! He-He's gone and done it again!" Old Kai said, stumbling as the Sacred World of the Kais rumbled.

"It's just like those shockwave from when he fought Goku!" Shin exclaimed as Kibito came and caught him mid-fall.

"Darn it all! How does he expect us to go creating new planets if there isn't a universe for us to make one in! You better nullify anything bad, you darn feline!"

...

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH!"

"MMMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNRRRRRR!"

>1d20 to win the beam struggle!
>Best of three rolls!
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>6077601
I don't think we can roll high enough without Mr. Satan rooting for us.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>6077601
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>6077601
HI-YAH!
>>
>>6077605
based
>>
>>6077598
>or Hildegarn
wait, wasn't he a sealed monster instead of a creation like the other 2 ?
>>
>>6077598
Probably the way I'd describe it is, imagine if instead of Hatchiyack, a Janemba-like who doesn't like cats very much with SDBH's scaling fucking came out.
>>
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"GGGRRRRHNNNNNNNN!"

"MMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Beerus and Absolute Armor's beam clash wavered. One moment, the Armor's Calculus Stream would grow in intensity, pushing the God of Destruction's Anger back, but Beerus would raise his power by another percentage, evening it out and forcing the Armor back. It was an unsteady struggle.

"Damn thing..."

He lifted his whole palm instead of a finger, multiplying the force of his Ki raging forward. Absolute Armor was struggling to make headway against him now.

"Fine! Eighty percent!"

..

"Guh! If he keeps this up, who knows how much damage the universe will suffer!" Goku shouted; "He's even more fired up than when he fought me!"

"You... fought him before?" Broly murmured.

"Indeed, Goku. You've finally caught on, haven't you?" Whis asked.

"Yeah... back when he said he used his full power when I became a Super Saiyan God... that was a total lie, wasn't it? But now, he actually is getting close to it!"

"Do you think he's really still ahead of us that much?" Vegeta said, as if a nerve was struck.

"Yeah. As he is? He could beat us easily in Blue if he's going all out. For once, I actually hope he doesn't."

"Because then it will mean his opponent is his equal..."

...

"KGGCH! ERNNN! FINE! NINETY PERCENT!"

"RRRHHHHHNNNNNNNNNHHHHHH-HHHH-SHHH-SHHH-SHHHHHHHhhhhh....!"

Absolute Armor's Calculus Ray was suddenly diminishing under Beerus's strength. His extraordinary power was consuming the Calculus Ray. The Armor was now pressed hands against the tide, trying to force it back.

SSS... SSHHHH... SHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHH!!!!"

And it just wasn't working...
>>
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Most of the perilous matter planet was vaporized in an instant, the majority of mass incinerated by Beerus and cleaved from existence.
>>
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When the blinding flash cleared as a result of Beerus using his abilities to nullify the energy that won the struggle immediately, everyone gathered in Whis's protective barrier gazed in bewilderment and then awe at how Beerus had removed that much of Absolute Armor's true body in one blow.

The planet was steadily dissipating still, and the God of Destruction was levitating among the vacuum spilling into the evaporating atmosphere with both hands on his hips.

Absolute Armor was dazed, and the monstrosity was left adrift, body in tatters as it twitched.

"NNNNggghhh.... nNnnnnnNNnnnnnnn...."

Power leaked out of it, and the smoke from the planet struggled to regenerate its body. Even generating new molecules between dimensions it folded into into, it struggled to replenish mass.

"That's a nice look for you. Hahaha! Seems you indeed adapted to seventy percent of my power, and even beyond. But now you're struggling to control... or contain such energy. It's tearing you apart."

"NNNGHH... S...SSSHHHH....SHSHSSHSHHHHH........!!!!"

"Hahahaha! You thought your special folded little "eternal molecules" could save you against me. I bet they're popping like balloons trying to process all that energy you copied! You're basically melting and powerless to stop me."

Absolute Armor zoomed in on Beerus, trying to ready some Calculus Ray from its visor. The of Destruction was already behind it, and struck it, sending it crashing down into its bigger body. It smashed through piece after chunk of the destroyed planet, and he was already there waiting for it, in its path, kicking it up and down, toying with it.

"HGAH!"

His elbow smashed its face wide open, and his claw dug through its chest, puncturing the 3D molecules before he swung it away and peppered it with potshot Ki blasts.

"What's the matter? Hahahaha! Weren't you going to kill the Destroyer for your poor little race?"

The god traced the air with his finger, a Kiai shearing off its other arm stump.

"Come on, you're making this boring for me!"

"SSHHHH...SHSHSHS.....SHHHHH!"

...

Vegeta crossed his arms.

"Hmph. It's over."

"Aww... I really wanted to fight that thing..." Goku whined.

Broly didn't remain convinced however. He and Whis both continued to stare even as the nearly full powered Beerus beat the thing back and forth for fun.

"...It can't really be beaten? Can it? It survived all that..."

"Haah.." Whis sighed; "Beerus is still my student. He still has some things left to overcome before he could ever achieve the autonomous state he seeks..."

"Like his arrogance..."

...
>>
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"SSH... SHH...SHSHSH...... SH......"

With every fist that pounded against its shell, the Absolute Armor felt the animating force that gave life to its molecules vanishing. Every molecule that burst was one more nail in its coffin. The beast was scared. No longer savage. But afraid.

"This has been quite a time. But I'm afraid it ends here."

Beerus raised its hand at it as it fell in the sky before him. The bulbous shape of a sphere of Destruction Energy swelled, ready to seal the thing's fate.

"I admit, you were my third best fight. Die with that honor."

...

"Our people... exterminated on the orders of those above. Our wonders, buried..."

...

"Denied even the chance to see Heaven or Hell. We were destroyed by the Destroyer. It's not fair. It's all so unfair. We were robbed! We could have been explorers of the worlds, masters above all! We could have been everything! Those foul deities... their terrible worlds! It should be torn down!"

...

"Sh.... sh... shshshsh....sh...."

"Hear the millions of voices cry out in agony one word..."

Absolute's Armor visor shimmered.

"HATE."
>>
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"Farewell."

Beerus launched his Destruction Energy. It spiraled down towards Absolute Armor.

"NO."

The monstrosity regenerated in an instant, swinging forward with a hand that tore the sphere asunder.

"What?!"

"No more. It's too much, this pain. It's all too much." Absolute Armor said.

"It can speak?!"

The monstrosity elevated in the air until it was level with the God of Destruction. The aura of the terrible creation of vengeance burned again over its replenished form.

"You gods have tormented this world for far long enough. Your reigns are wrought with naught but bloodshed and pain. There is no point in a world of gods. This cycle will always repeat itself so long as anything exists..."

"What's it saying...?" Goku asked.

"Nothing good..." Vegeta bluntly stated.

"This power..." The newly sapient Armor said, gazing at its own hands; "This power has only one purpose... to end the cycles of pain once and for all."

"And just how are you planning to do that?"

"You die. You all die. Every universe, every god... I destroy you. No more. No more pain. No more anything."

Beerus beckoned it.

"You know the deal."

"I get through you first. No matter."

The spikes on its back jutted out, each one firing a black ray of negative energy that disappeared into the air.

Beerus gasped, and then turned around in time to see all six pelt him in the face.

"GAAAH!" He yelped, being thrown back.

As he hurled through the air, he felt the invisible fists and feet of the creature pummeling him as he got ever closer towards it. Its molecular attacks struck his neck, his vital points, poked his eyes, punched his snout, struck his crotch and pulled his tail!

"AAAARGH!"

Goku, Vegeta and Broly, and even Whis were all astonished. Beerus was on the defensive!
>>
>>6077656
Omega Shenron if he Super Dragon Balls (17's Wish).
>>
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"YOU DIE." Absolute Armor howled, still as single minded as ever despite awakening an consciousness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaNUQvklD0E

Beerus shifted back. The moment he turned around, he was within range of the monstrosity. Its fist slammed into his face with one of the strongest blows he'd ever felt.

"GGGUUUU-GUUUUHHHHHHHH!!!"

He was flung into the debris below, all before a second even passed.

...

"Impossible! Absolutely inconceivable! That thing drew blood from Beerus!" Came Old Kai, as he, Shin and Kibito gathered around their table, watching the events unfolding upon their crystal ball.

"There's no way! That thing is just a hair's length from being as strong as he is!" Shin said.

"Beerus! You have no choice left!" Shin said as he jumped from his seat, raising both hands to the air; "You have to Destroy that thing before it tears the universe apart! Beerus! Do it, quick!"

...

"NNGGHGAAAAAAAAAA! I'M KIND... OF... BUSY! GETTING SQUASHED TO PULP! PUUUOOOH!"

Beerus raised his arms to block the next strike, but Absolute Armor rushed him, slamming with its shoulder and blasting him down again.

'I thought I destroyed most of its mass! Was the damn planet a red herring this whole time?! Of course... it can generate new mass from thin air! Rrrrgh!'

"DIE. DIE. DIE."

Absolute Armor's fingers glowed red.

'A new attack?!'

>This one should be dodged! That's it! Full power!
>No! Block with a Ki aura! It's too fast!
>Ngh! Getting desperate! H-HAKAI! HAKAI!
>>
>>6077660
>This one should be dodged! That's it! Full power!
>>
>>6077660
>No! Block with a Ki aura! It's too fast!
>>
>>6077660
>No! Block with a Ki aura! It's too fast!
>>
>>6077660
>No! Block with a Ki aura! It's too fast!
DEFEND OURSELVES!
>>
>>6077660
>Ngh! Getting desperate! H-HAKAI! HAKAI!
>>
>>6077660
>Ngh! Getting desperate! H-HAKAI! HAKAI!
Hey, uh...this is a twin universe. You don't think that Universe 6 could have something similar hiding in it...right?
>>
>>6077660
>This one should be dodged! That's it! Full power!
>>
>>6077660
>This one should be dodged! That's it! Full power!

Good lord, this whiny little shit never got that it's basically 100% their fault they all died, right? GM only stepped in and told us to exterminate after we judged them poorly, goodness.
>>
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Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>6077668
>>6077669
>>6077679
1

>>6077692
>>6077704
>>6077663
2

Let's see.
>>
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Absolute Armor raised its hand. The fingers emitted a spear of negative energy flowing towards him.

'Beams! I'll block them!'

Beerus put both arms up, and let his Ki flare around him. The red and black beams struck...

"KUUUGHHH!"

They pierced him and his aura!

'W-What!? How could something have some penetrative power?! Wait...'

Absolute Armor's other fingers emitted such 'beams' reaching out for over a mile, which it raised past its head, holding its hand on the perfect slash vector.

'Those aren't energy beams! They're swords! Of such staggering length and power! They'll skewer me!'

"HAAAAH!"

Absolute Armor slashed Beerus across his chest, a clean swipe! And while his skin quickly reformed, the energy pouring out of him was intense! He spat out more of his blood and spittle! Absolute Armor lifted him, pierced upon his Finger Slicers, and then threw him forward.

"HUHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Lord Beerus!" Goku called out, actually fearing for the god's life.
>>
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"D-Damn it! I made the wrong move...!"

Beerus growled as he drifted back. Then, a choking sensation gripped him.

"...!"

He felt himself suddenly become trapped within the confines of a cage. Another new attack. Absolute Armor was focusing its molecules, which it made in excess, around Beerus, cycling them between dimensions rapidly. The black smoke engulfed him, and now the space around him was distorting and twisting in unnatural ways.

It was going to collapse the dimensions on top of him in that spot and crush him alive!

A killing blow!

"Nngh! Impossible!"

"HAHAHAHAHA. YOU DIE. YOU DIE!"

Beerus stared his death in the face...
>>
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"Guys! That thing is going to destroy the entire universe! If Beerus dies, then I don't know who can stop him!" Goku suddenly said, powering up to his Super Saiyan Blue state; "Whis, only Beerus' Destroy technique stands a chance, right? Sheer firepower isn't going to cut it?"

"It might be the case. This thing will only continue to grow in relation to what it fights. Beerus is just a few drops away from using every ounce of his entire power, and he's on the ropes..." Whis admitted.

"Everyone's going to die you guys! Everyone we love! Chi-Chi! Gohan, Goten! Trunks, Bulma, Bulla! Cheelai and Lemo too! Vegeta, Broly, let's go!" Goku said.

He dashed forward, exiting the barrier Whis erected and flying into the heat of battle. Vegeta growled, powering up himself before he followed suit, joining his rival.

Broly however, stood there, trembling.

"Broly? Aren't you going to help a bit?"

"C...C... Cheelai... Lem... Lemo!"

"Mm...?"

Broly stared long at the sight of Beerus howling in pain as Absolute Armor continued to crush him with the pressure of his Dimension Collapse. Goku and Vegeta were speeding to his rescue as fast as they could.

But Broly stayed his feet, looking down at his hands, and how they shook.

"The... The entire universe?! Cheelai...? Lemo...?"

Whis looked down at him, with some sympathy.

"Everyone's going to die?"

"And not just them. That thing will go to the rest of the universes as well. It will come for everyone that lives."

"...!"

Broly's teeth clenched.

"You're going to hurt them..."

And he clenched his fists, looking up at the silhouette of the Armor.

"...I..." He said, eyes sparkling; "I WON'T LET YOU!"

Whis smiled at the wondrous sight he was witnessing. For the moment, Broly's pupils did not disappear, even though his hair was jade and bright. He simply let his barrier down to release the angry giant who had finally done it.

He blasted off, in control of his full power Super Saiyan state.

"...?!"

Absolute Armor looked over his shoulder at the sight of the Saiyan trio preparing their enormous attacks.

"KAIO-KEN TIMES TEN! KAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAMEEEEEEE......!" Goku began

"FIIIIINAAAAAL-" Vegeta started.

"YAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Broly yelled, charging his Omegastorm.

"FOOLISHNESS! WHY WOULD YOU OPPOSE ME?! I AM THE ONE WHO WILL RELEASE YOU OF YOUR PAIN!"

Absolute Armor released Beerus, who was stunned and dazed, the cage around him faltering as he turned towards the Saiyans.

"Mortals! HE is your real enemy! Gullible Saiyans, whether you know it or not, you will someday! What the Armors have suffered, so have you!"

"You should be joining me in tearing down this cruel world!"

Behind the monstrosity, Beerus was recovering...

"That's it...!"

>Give Goku and Vegeta a retort! Make it sound like something they'd say while Beerus prepares his Hakai!
>>
>>6077765
"Don't get cocky! If that day comes, I and I alone will be the one to defeat a God of Destruction! I don't need anyone's help, especially YOURS!"- Vegeta.
"Beerus isn't such a bad guy once you get to know him! I know you're mad about him not giving your people a chance, but you never gave him one either, you know?" - Goku.
>>
>>6077773
+1

Also
>claims to be better than the gods themselves
>somehow does not know the pure-blooded saiyans in this universe besides these 3 are all dead literally because Beerus already judged them

...Oh Kais, are we the idiot universe?
>>
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>>6077765
>"You're forgetting one thing Armor! We moved on and found new reasons to live! If you can't even conceive of that, then you've no business carrying on with this farce!"
>"Yeah! Even after Frieza wiped us all out, we've still got plenty to fight for! I'm sorry for what happened to you, but I'm not gonna let you threaten my home!"
>>6077780
Don't forget Tarble!
>>
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"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Goku yelled out.

"FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSHHHHH!" Vegeta followed.

"EEEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" And Broly finished their chorus.

"Don't get cocky! If that day comes, I and I alone will be the one to defeat a God of Destruction! I don't need anyone's help, especially YOURS!" Vegeta proclaimed.

"And Beerus isn't such a bad guy once you get to know him! I know you're mad about what happened, about him not giving your people a chance, but you never gave him one either, you know!" Goku boldly said.

Absolute Armor held its hand out, and went into overdrive producing extra molecules which coalesced into the shapes of extra hands that encircled its fist. When the combined fury of the Kamehameha, Final Flash and Gigantic Omegastorm combined into the same spot, the Armor stopped the attacks in their tracks... but soon had to apply counter-force to hold his ground as they combined into a swirl! The Saiyans were keeping their attacks going, spending Ki to maintain their combined assault!

"NYYYRRHAAERRHH!"

"YOU ARE NOTHING BEFORE THE POWER OF MY BOTTOMLESS HATRED! THE HATRED OF ALL ARMORS! I AM THAT WHICH WILL SHATTER THESE SKIES!"

"I WON'T LET YOU DESTROY THIS UNIVERSE!" Goku retorted; "KAIO-KEN TIMES TWENTY!"

"NNNHHHHEEEEEEEHHHHHH!"

Absolute Armor began pushing back against their beam, nudging slightly forward into it, second by second.

"This is insane! He's gaining ground instead of losing it!" Vegeta cursed.

Goku shook his head. "Don't let up! We've got to stop him... HERE!"

"YOU... WON'T... HURT... MY FRIENDS!" Broly shouted, putting everything he had into it, causing Absolute Armor to lose what ground he gained.

"USELESS! USELESS! USELESS! YOU DIE! YOU DIE! YOU DIE! YOU-"
>>
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"Die."

"...?!"
>>
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Beerus, bathed in the marvelous light of his full power, raised his hand from behind.

Whis tapped his palm with the body of his staff and remarked from afar; "It's been quite a while since the last time you've been pushed this far."

"..."

"Hakai."
>>
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A pulsing hum resonated over the surroundings. Absolute Armor's head shot up.

"MmmmmMmMmmMMMMMMMMMMM......!"

It's jaw tore in half, creating a faux mouth with which to give voice to its cry.

"HHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....!"

From behind, it began to crumble. It was coming apart, molecules vanishing as they were destroyed en masse. In between the precarious position of being destroyed by the Hakai of a God of Destruction and standing against the mighty attacks of the strongest Saiyans, the Armor broke down completely. It's back was disintegrating into a hollow blaze of melting light, arms giving away.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRHHHHHHHH!"

Beerus found himself smirking. No matter how hard the battle, there was nothing that survived Destruction...

...but Absolute Armor was taking a while to vanish. Far longer than anyone else he'd ever destroyed...

In that instant, he actually held his breath as the other arm of the monstrosity gave away and was vaporized by the combined attack now slamming into it, burning away it's body even as the Hakai destroyed every distribution of itself across the dimensions of Universe 7...
>>
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...But will it be enough to finish off the monster of vengeance...?

Find out, soon!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1MDynjTDfM
>>
>>6077802
Ya know, the name Absolute ARMOR implies somebody else might don it. If it even still exists I mean.
>>
>>6077802
waiting warmly
>>
>>6078134
+1
>>
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"GGGGYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..................."

Absolute Armor was completely destroyed in all dimensions. There was nowhere left in Universe 7 that hosted the monster's being. Beerus was victorious. The Monster was defeated.
>>
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"And that's the end of that." He sighed; "We can all go home now."
>>
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>>
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The Null Realm
>>
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6lNCehkk7Y
>>
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"...?"

"Wait. Do you feel that?" Goku asked, hovering up alongside the God of Destruction.

Beerus turned around again, gazing over to the place where he was certain he saw the monster meet its end. He blinked.

"What? I was positive I ended that thing! What's.... what's this chill I feel on my back...?"

"It can't be alive still!" Vegeta hollered, coming up near the group; "There's no way it could! Nothing could survive being Destroyed. It has to just be residual energy dispersing back into space!"

Broly descended near the three himself. He shuddered.

"Then... why is it growing...?!" He asked.

Beerus gawked.

Suddenly, they all braced themselves as something... "pounded". Before them, space cracked!

"What... is this?"

Something was... striking against the barrier of spacetime's fabric itself. No, even worse, the barrier that contained the entire Universe.

"NGH!"

Each strike made their bodies quake with shock.

"DAMN IT!" Vegeta cursed; "It's like I'm being throttled!"

"It survived?! No way! If Destruction can't put it down, then maybe..." Goku began, sifting his pocket through before he blinked. "Aw nuts!"

"What is it?! Misplaced your Senzu beans in a moment like this when we might need them?!"

"No, I can't seem to find my Zenny button. I think I left it at home!"

"...! D-DAAAH! GOKU, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! WHY WOULD YOU JUST LEAVE A BUTTON THAT SUMMONS THE KING OF ALL LYING AROUND! WHAT IF ONE OF YOUR RELATIVES ACCIDENTALLY PUSHED IT?!"

"Ehehe... I guess it didn't cross my mind. Looks like we'll have no choice but to fight."

"Dooohhhrrrr! Stop getting excited every time you see an existential threat to our cosmos!"

"WATCH OUT!" Vegeta warned.
>>
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Everyone was blown away, flung far by the force. The sky before them shattered...
>>
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The white flash of a threat greatest to the world, and all worlds, illuminated the seventh Universe.

"I should have told them it's never over the first time, darn it!" Old Kai kvetched.

"N-Noble Elder! What do we do?!" Shin stumbled forward towards their crystal ball.

"What can we do? Evacuate Universe 7? Hah! Fat chance. All we do now is sit and wait for the end, young greenhorn. It's over now." Old Kai said, propping his feet up on the table as he kicked back and unfolded one of his naughty magazines.

"H-How can you say that, noble elder?!"

"Don't you recognize that aura, boy?"

"I can't feel anything from that enemy now!"

"Exactly. That's because there is no enemy now. What you're looking at is pure, living void." Old Kai murmured.

"I don't get it... living void? What does that even mean?" Shin dared to question, morbidly curious.

Old Kai looked him dead in the eye, without a hint of humor or his usually jovial personality shining through.

"That thing just merged with the World of Void itself, boy. It learned how to channel the Null Realm through, and bring it with itself. Now, it can cover everything in splotches of the big lot of nothing itself, and nullify it. In other words, it'll be like the Omni-King erasing something, but much slower, and much more painful too."

"T-Tch...! N... No way!"
>>
>>6078414
SHIN YOUR SINGLE JOB IS TO FILL THE VOID WITH CREATION.
NOW IS YOUR TIME TO SHINE!
>>
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".......hggggrrrrrrrr................"
>>
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".....Hhhrrrraaaahhh...... Hmph."

...

'...Such.... such power! It's colossal.... it's like the summit from Universe 11... maybe even a little more than that.... it's impossible...!' Beerus thought.

The beast before them came alight with a new aura from its regenerated body. A new body, made of a new material.
>>
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"Bathed in darkness, I have been reborn. Carrying this darkness, all shall drown. All will be rejected, denied, refused.... nullified. All shall vanish."

"I am no longer Absolute Armor. That name died with that body. I am the realization of Yerushalmi's dream to destroy the system, the gods, these awful worlds."

"I am Absolute Oblivion. I am your doom. Beerus, prepare to die."

>Whis! Explain! What's going on here?! How the hell did this thing get so strong all of a sudden?! Didn't the Hakai work?! (Scout for weaknesses.)
>Arrghh! That's it! You two! Fuse! Now! We need all the power we can get! (Fight Ki with Ki.)
>I don't care what you think you are! You want oblivion so much? Have it! HAKAI! (Destroy.)
>>
>>6078438
>Whis! Explain! What's going on here?! How the hell did this thing get so strong all of a sudden?! Didn't the Hakai work?! (Scout for weaknesses.)
>>
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>>6078438
>Whis! Explain! What's going on here?! How the hell did this thing get so strong all of a sudden?! Didn't the Hakai work?! (Scout for weaknesses.)
Man, wonder what our old pal Frieza's thinking right about now. Whole universe got flash-banged and is now shaking.
>>
>>6078438
>Whis! Explain! What's going on here?! How the hell did this thing get so strong all of a sudden?! Didn't the Hakai work?! (Scout for weaknesses.)

>>6078425
+1
>>
>>6078438
>Whis! Explain! What's going on here?! How the hell did this thing get so strong all of a sudden?! Didn't the Hakai work?! (Scout for weaknesses.)
>SHIN! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE NOW!
>>
>>6078438
>Whis! Explain! What's going on here?! How the hell did this thing get so strong all of a sudden?! Didn't the Hakai work?! (Scout for weaknesses.)
Ohhhh shit
>>
>>6078438
>Whis! Explain! What's going on here?! How the hell did this thing get so strong all of a sudden?! Didn't the Hakai work?! (Scout for weaknesses.)
>>
>>6078441
Frieza right now after feeling all that.
>>
>>6078438

>Whis! Explain! What's going on here?! How the hell did this thing get so strong all of a sudden?! Didn't the Hakai work?! (Scout for weaknesses.)

Also
>these awful worlds
get a bullshit power of love kiboost from remembering flirting with Acerola
>>
>>6078438
>Whis! Explain! What's going on here?! How the hell did this thing get so strong all of a sudden?! Didn't the Hakai work?! (Scout for weaknesses.)
>>
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Whoops, computer crash in the middle of working on the update made me lose some work. Apologies, bringing the pain train momentarily...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lOqgFu7XJw
>>
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"Whis! What happened! I thought I destroyed that damn thing! How did it survive Destruction?!"

The Guide Angel gave an uneasy glance at the resurgent Armor, now known as Absolute Oblivion. The monstrosity's body was far different from before. Back there, as Absolute Armor, the beast was a living mass of the Armor people's spacetime folded molecules. Eternal Molecules. Back then, it was a simple creature with a simple trick to travel dimensions and draw power from the background.

But this was different.

"It shunted the scant few molecules it had left into the Null Realm..."

"What?! How could such a thing be possible...? I thought only the Grand Minister and higher ups could reach through to the void place!"

Whis shook his head.

"It was the combined assault. It tried to absorb the Energy of Destruction initially, and that didn't pan out well, it only accelerated its own demise... but the attacks Goku, Vegeta and Broly had launched at the same time were also being lapped up. In other words... the unique mix of your energies... coupled with its ability to absorb and adapt and folding technique... You all inadvertently made it powerful enough to not only surpass a God of Destruction, but powerful enough to break through the last barrier that held it off from the Null Realm outside the universes."

"I think I realize why father wished for the Armors to be purged now. He knew that using their folding technique, they could reach even the void..." Whis said, grimly; "He knew they were capable of creating such horrors. And now, we witness that horror for ourselves."

"Grrrrr!" Beerus was quick to levy blame towards Whis' other students; "You idiots! Your attacks caused this!"

"Hey! If we didn't help out, you might have died when it crushing dimensions!" Goku fired back.

"There's no use pointing fingers right now! Cut it out!" Vegeta shouted.

Broly cracked his knuckles; "He's right! We've have to fight!"

Absolute Oblivion raised its fiery hand, skin shining with pale light. The Armor devil traced its thumb along its neck.

"...HAH...HAH...HAH...HAH...HAH...HAH...HAH..."

"You are all going to die in the worst ways."

"Whis! If it feel into the Null Realm, what does that mean?!"

"Its molecules are resonating with the World of Void. It is able to draw on the null and convert it to unlimited amounts of energy and power now. As well, it can channel the Null Realm and bring it here. Whatever it paints with the Null Realm will be.... well, nullified. Erased." Whis said; "The Hakai will no longer be able to defeat it. Its true body, a cluster of molecules, is within the Null Realm and out of our reach. This body we see before us now... it's just an extension. No different than a palm reaching out."
>>
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"Well I'm not giving up just yet!" Goku said, powering up; "Let's go!"

All together, the Saiyans boosted towards Oblivion. The monster shrugged in response, as if it were already bored of them. Absolute Oblivion raised both hands, fists clenched tight. And then it spread both arms wide, and merely opened its palms.

"HMPH!"

The invisible, omnipresent attacks its molecules made possible struck the Saiyans!

"GYRAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

"NOT BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDD!"

"GUUUEEEAAARGHHH!"

Goku, Vegeta and Broly were swatted out of the air before the reborn titan like flies. They were traveling back faster than they had flown towards the monster. Broly was hurdling towards Whis, who put out his finger, stopping the Saiyan in his path and harmlessly neutralizing his fall.

"Ngh! Thanks!" He said before looking forward. He dashed back again, and caught Goku and Vegeta with both hands to break their own launches.

"Gh! Kah! T-Thanks for the save!" Goku blurted.

His hair lost its shine, and he reverted to base in an instant.

"K-Kakarot! Your hair!" Vegeta winced.

"Huh? D-Darn... already knocked me out of Blue... It sure packs a punch. Eheheheh... Kgh! Hgnn! NGHA!" He yelped, powering back up to Blue, despite having lost most of his stamina.

"That thing... it's too powerful!" Broly mumbled.

Beerus was watching. But from where he watched, he shivered. He looked down at his hand, and it was shaking, something he couldn't believe himself. It was just like the Tournament of Power again. The summit. Another summit, rearing its head. He felt so small by comparison, even with his full power in use. It was a feeling of insignificance. A feeling of dread.

"W... Whis... how do we defeat that thing?!"

"Hm... It is possible Destruction would work."

"But I thought you said I couldn't just utter 'Hakai' and end that thing now!"

"You misunderstand. It won't work here, or in any of the other universes. To destroy its real body, we would have to be able to go to the Null Realm. I do not have the right to set foot there, but... hmm... maybe if..."

"Maybe if what?!"

"Since it smashed its way here, we could... Ah, watch out!"
>>
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Beerus turned his head quick, but not quick enough. Gathering in the air behind him, a smokey cloud. Released Eternal Molecules. They brimmed with a massive charge of energy, firing a tremendously boosted Calculus Ray at him!

"TCH!"
>>
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He was blasted back, abhorred by the pain that attack caused him. He felt like his skin was sweltering hot from being burnt. He felt like he was mortal, and remembered what true pain was! And yet, it didn't end there!

"Haaah!?"

As the smoke cleared from his eyes, he looked up at that monster and gasped...
>>
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"All worlds, disappear. You... disappear."

Absolute Oblivion had its fist raised, even from so far away. Beerus didn't question why however, he already felt Eternal Molecules choking him where he was suspending in the shattered sky, and knew what was coming next.
>>
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Knew there was no chance of evasion even if he tried his best.
>>
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"YOU DIE."

It was instant. It was even faster than Goku's own instant transmission. The monster vanished from where it was without a second to spare, and was already on top of Beerus. A simple rearranging and relocation of molecules, and the titan's fist crushed him with its mighty blow that shook the whole seventh.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
>>
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"G-G-GWWWUUOOOOAAAAAARRRRHHHHHHHHH-H-H-H-H-H-H-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h....!"

Beerus spewed another trailing coagulation of his spit and blood. The God of Destruction was knocked out immediately. Struck unconscious with one gargantuan hit. The Phasing Punch of Oblivion felled him.

Beerus was defeated instantly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQ4zhA1j1Ao
>>
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The universe held its breath. The Kais were distraught and speechless. The Guide Angel in the sixth watching through her staff was concerned, and even Champa had an eerie feeling. Whis had his breath taken from him.

"BEERUS!" Goku shouted.

"D-Defeated in one blow...!" Vegeta remarked in disbelief.

"A... Ahh! A...ah... ah!" Broly shuddered.

Never in Whis' life has he seen anyone besides the Grand Minister defeat a God of Destruction with such impunity. The Attendant Angel turned towards the roaring abomination as it clenched its chest, bowed over in laughter.

"HEHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HEHEHEHAHAHAAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAAAAA!"

Whis let his staff de-materialize as he floated forward.

"Whis, what are you doing?" Goku begged the question.

"This matter has become a dire situation to the entirety of the Multiverse. As the Angel, I am permitted to act in regards to preventing disaster such as a universal annulment, regardless of whether us Angels are normally passive, amoral or outright forbidden by the Grand Minister's code. What I'm saying is, I will fight now." Whis said, assuming his fighting stance.

"Guess we better kick it up a notch if Whis is joining for once, Vegeta. You know what it's time for."

"Darrh... Fine. Let's get this done!"

"FUUUU-"

"FUUUU-"

"-SION! HA!"

"-SION! HA!"

...

"We are neither Goku or Vegeta. We are Gogeta, and we're here to postpone your little apocalypse!"

The Fused Warrior gave off a fierce shock wave as he assumed the godly state of Blue Evolved.

"You're not getting past us!" Broly said, letting his anger fuel his power.

"Boys, I'll be quick. We can use the same fissure Oblivion smashed through to reach the Null Realm. The creature is erecting a field of its molecules to act as a shield over the expanding fissure. I can bring the power needed to pierce a hole. It's absorbing the Null Realm now, so there's no worry of it adapting to my energy and gaining Autonomous Ultra Instinct... not that it could use it anyway. As soon as I've made a way in, you two head inside."

"And then what?" Gogeta asked.

"You're both packing a lot of firepower, right? Blast it."

"Uh... Blast what?" Broly raised an eyebrow.

"Everything."

They both smiled.

"Well, when you put it like that..."

"Leave it to me!"

"Nah ah ah. First I have to actually make the entrance... that body will still be fighting us." Whis pointed out, as Oblivion stood tall again and faced them.

"Do your best not to get hit. My temporal do-over won't work thanks to the nullity spreading. Even a few of those hits will put you out and if he kills you..."

Whis shook his head.

"On my mark..."

'Come! COME!"
>>
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...

'How did this happen? How could I be defeated by something within my own property? Ohhh... What have I gone and gotten myself into this time? Urghh...'

...

'I can't do anything now... I feel like I've been broken into pieces. I can't feel my body. What is this? Is this... are these my thoughts? Great. Now I'm just talking to myself in my sleep. A lucid dream but I'm not in control.'

...

'Where did I go wrong at? I should have just destroyed that thing from the start, then none of this would be happening. But now it's going to tear up the whole cosmos. The other Gods of Destruction will hate me even more when they realize it came from my universe... Ouuuh, what does it matter anymore? At least they'll be joining me.'

...

'...No, no no no... What happens if the Grand Minister steps up and puts a stop to it? He'll probably use the Super Dragon Balls to restore everything and then when I'm back into being, I'll be in for it for real this time. I'll lose my job for sure...'

...

'I can't believe I lost... I hate losing, so, so, very, very much...'

...

'Whis, you'll help me though, right? Right? You can win, can't you?'

...

"You failed."

'Who was that? Wait... Yerushalmi? You're in my head now?'

"Heheheehee! I'm not the old Armor, ding dong. I'm just how you remember him. Hehehe... you failed. I won today. You're dying, don't you feel it? And when you're dead, that precious Angel of yours goes BYE BYE! And then nobody can stop my creation from ending creation. You failed, Beerus! You suck so much! You trash god! Hahahahaha!"

'Oh... great. Now I'm mocking myself over it. Beating myself up even when I've already been beaten! Pheeeeewwhhh...'

'I hope death's not as bad for a god as it is for mortals. I don't want to end up... inside some prison, being preached to and sang songs to by colorful stuffed animals and cutesy creatures! Augh! I just wanna go home and eat some Earth pizza! I don't want it to end like this! So where did I go so wrong at?! Where, damn it! Where?!'

"This is the tranquility of death. This smug aura you're so insulted by. It's victory. Victory for the enemy. My vengeance is complete. Hehehehehe! HEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

'...Haaaahhhh... haaaahhhhhhh...'

>Think about Earth.
>Think about the promotion.
>Think about not thinking.
>>
>>6078600
>Think about not thinking.
>>
>>6078600
>Think about not thinking.
It's all so tiresome!
>>
>>6078600
>Think about the promotion.
>>
>>6078600
>Think about Earth.
>Think about Earth FOOD, specifically.
Is this a food review, or isn't it? Come on, anons!
>>
>>6078600
>Think about Earth
There is too much FOOD to forget! If this Ultimate Oblivion destroys Earth, the cosmos will lose everything! This cannot be allowed! We must fight! FIGHT! For the food we haven't eaten yet! For the chefs who will make it for us!
>>
>>6078600
>Think about earth foomd
>>
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>>6078779
>>
>>6078600
THINK ABOUT THE CUTE BUNNIES!!!

But no yeah, UI time, or at the very least, getting this tantrum-throwing shithead out of our final moments
>Think about not thinking.
>>
>>6078823
NEDM (not even dragonball music)
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>6078603
>>6078606
>>6078961
1

>>6078702
>>6078771
>>6078779
2
>>
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"SUPREME FORCE OF HATRED AND NULLITY! BLOT OUT ALL THAT EXISTS!"
>>
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Absolute Oblivion opened the floodgates. The World of Void spilled through his fissure. Motivated by his hatred and molecules, the streams of nullity began overriding space and time and matter, removing it all completely where it touched.
>>
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"Boys!" Whis called, dodging the flowing rivers of nullity with ease as he attempted to fire back; "I can't get you in if you aren't distracting him for me!"

Whis was frustrated. Every attack he used, the nullity blocked it, intercepted and nullified his Ki.

"We're trying our best here!" Gogeta spat out; "Besides, you're using a very low level of power for this!"

"I have no choice. I have to take a one in one hundred chance of poking a hole in his defense this way. If I begin to use my true power now, I'll destroy Universe 7 and Universe 6 at once. Beerus and the Kais will all get caught in the crossfire, and then I'll deactivate. But Oblivion will still persist. Do you get it?"

"Damn!" Gogeta yelped, getting clipped by a stream of nullity that cut right through his arm.

"We have to try!" Broly said, firing his Omegastorm again.

"I haven't even begun to go all out!" Gogeta roared, lifting his hand and creating the miraculous shape of the Soul Punisher.
>>
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While their battle raged on, Beerus found himself confronted with his own thoughts and desires...
>>
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"Beerus!"

"...Ngh... huh...?"

"Uncle Beerus! Wake up already!"

"...Hr.. Hgn? B... Bulma?"

"Look at what I got you!"

"...Ngnn... Hm? What... are those? They look... delicious."

"They're my mother's specialty whipped shortbread cookies! They're the best!"

"Whipped... shortbread cookies...? Why... count me in... Hgn... wait, I can't seem to move my hand... Ah. Right. These are just my thoughts. None of this is real."

"Hey, don't say that! Don't you want to at least try these cookies? You do love Earth's cuisine, you know!"

"I wish. I... want the cookies now!"

"Mm. Yeah, they're just made to melt in your mouth! They have such a tasty cream exterior, it's so soft but be careful, it'll get all over your hands! And inside, it feel's all squishy-crunchy! And it's got a lot of sprinkles! You do want them, right? You don't ever get tired of our food! Same old Uncle Beerus. Ha!"

"Yeah... yeah! Gi... Gimme the cookies! Give me the cookies now! Please!"

"Sorry. No can do."

"What?! Why not...?"
>>
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"Because silly... soon, there won't be any cookies. There won't be any Bulma, or even an Earth if you let it all fade away."

"No! No! NOT THE EARTH! ANYTHING BUT THAT! AAAAAAAAARGHHH!"

'But how can I stop it!? I'm so powerless to!'

"That's right. You're going to lose."
>>
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...

"NNGHHHAAAAAAA!"

"Broly!" Gogeta yelled.

"Rgh... raaagh! I... I'm sorry... I can't... ughh....."

"DAMN IT! Broly's down! Whis!"

"I'm trying!"

...
>>
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"N... Not the Earth! Not MY Earth!" Beerus repeated, figuratively clutching his head.

"Yeah! That'd be a damn shame for sure."

"Ch... Champa!? You're here now too...?"

"Bwahaha! Of course not. But it really does say something that I live inside your head! And the rent's free too!"

"Tch... I don't even think about you, tubby."

"Sure you don't! That's why I'm here! Hahahaha! Anyway, Earth vanishing probably makes me even sadder than it does you."

"...Why's that...?"

"How am I supposed to one day win it for myself and beat you once and for all if Earth's gone, along with all that scrumptious food! NO FAIR! I've only gotten a taste!"

"Hmph. Fine by me."

"...Is it, though?"

"..."

"Hehehehahaha, after all, how can you do the same and prove yourself the better brother without a sibling to have a good old sibling rivalry with, yes?" Champa said, tugging his eyelid mockingly.

"..."

"I mean, how did you think I felt, getting erased? You really wanna know what that feels like? Wanna see it happen to me again, bro?!"
>>
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"I don't think you do! At all! Even if you act like you aaaarrrrrreeeee!" The decreasing voice of Champa wailed.
>>
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"WORTHLESS FLY! FALL BEFORE MY UNLIMITED POWER!"
>>
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"NGHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"GGGGAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!"

Gogeta was out of it, the fused warrior splitting from the hit sustained by the Finger Slicers of Oblivion that fired out. Goku and Vegeta were flung away like worthless trash.

"Oh dear..."

"ANGEL!"

Whis faced Oblivion alone now.

"YOUR LIGHT SHALL BE SNUFFED OUT! YOU... DIE! YOU DIE!"

"Hm...!" Whis flew back as the abomination charged at him with everything it had.
>>
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"...I'm so tired of this... Where am I now...?"

Beerus looked up, and he swore he saw the Omni-King and the Grand Minister themselves. He had not the energy to make an exaggerated expression of praise.

"This fight has been a hard one for you, hasn't it?"

"Honorable Grand Minister... like you have no idea..." The God of Destruction said, shaking his head.

"Everything you like is gonna get wiped out." Zeno observantly said.

"And when it does, you'll be angry with all the destruction and just erase everything yourself..." Beerus said, dejected.

He lifted his head back up at the two.

"Even if you're just my thoughts, tell me one thing, I've always wanted to know... what ARE you, really?"

The Grand Minister chuckled.

"Well, I'm your thoughts, like you said. Or am I? Ah, you must mean me, as in the Angel himself. Well, it's simple, Beerus. I'm creation. And Zeno is destruction."

"I'm... not sure I follow."

"Creation and Destruction. Two primordial forces gathered as one. Well, when when these twin forces could not coexist, they chose to instead proceed one another. And so, what would become our King split Creation from his being."

"It's easier that way." Zeno said; "If I'm just destruction, it's not a bad thing."

"Destruction and Creation as one will only destroy and create one another without repeat. But when Creation comes after Destruction, and Destruction comes before Creation, it works at last. That's why the Omni-King split me off as his other half and I beget the Angels as my progeny and the Core People as my agents, who in turn guide and assist you, God of Destruction."

"...!"

"Yes." The Grand Minister nodded; "The very system of all things, the gods themselves, and the multiverse is a reflection of Creation and Destruction. We thought it was beautiful that way. So, Beerus, in the end... you're part of those who creation and destruction shine through the brightest. You destroy, Shin creates."

"You got destroyed pretty hard out there yourself..." Zeno giggled.

"But now, aren't you ready to recreate yourself anew?" The Grand Minister asked.

"...Y... Yes! I am! Was... this revelation the catalyst I finally needed?"

The Grand Minister shook his head.

"No. But it helped for it. Such inspiring ideas made you feel the sublime state of contentedness and calmness needed."

"Plus, you don't wanna lose any of that stuff back there you like. That's very bad, you see? You wanna say, "It will not be taken from me!". But not angrily, calmly! Isn't that cool?" Zeno tilted his own head.

They both reached out, as if to flick Beerus. The Grand Minister smiled.

"Now stop thinking, and just move."
>>
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When the flick came, Beerus didn't register it in his mind. His body just moved away on its own. He oriented himself upright in the air.

"I've done it... I climbed the summit I saw."
>>
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3T23Wa-zM4k
>>
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A staggering gleam suddenly radiated.

"HMMM?!"
>>
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"....Hmph. He's finally done it."

"WHAAAAT?! He achieved... U-Ultra Instinct?!"

"Lord Champa, do you think if you lost some weight you might catch up as well?"

"T... This power..."

"Hah... I knew you could do it, Lord Beerus."

"This keeps getting even more insane!"

"...Huh...?"

"GREAT BALLS OF KI! THERE'S NO WAY!"

"...YOU...!"
>>
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"COME BACK FOR MORE, HAVE YOU?!"

"...I don't remember throwing in the towel."

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU ARE NOTHING BEFORE MY INFINITE MIGHT! I WILL SHATTER THE COSMOS AND BATHE IT IN YOUR BLOOD!"
>>
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"Do your worst. You'll die if you don't."

"RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-!"

Absolute Oblivion put both hands together, summoning the Null Realm's nullity to swirl as a sphere between them. He was preparing something enormous.

"Hm."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZW7gqSBQ4VI

>Ultra Instinct. (Instant strike!)
>Dual Enhanced Spheres of Destruction. (Destroy his attacks!)
>Autonomous Ultra Instinct. (Humiliate him!)
>Multi-Hakai. (Deal with the fissures!)
>>
>>6079226
>>Ultra Instinct. (Instant strike!)
Do not think. ACT.
>>
>>6079226
>Ultra Instinct. (Instant strike!)
>>
>>6079226
>Ultra Instinct. (Instant strike!)
Let's finish this
>>
>>6079226
>Ultra Instinct. (Instant strike!)
>>
>>6079226
>Ultra Instinct. (Instant strike!)
>>
>>6079226
>Ultra Instinct. (Instant strike!)
Lets GOOO
>>
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What Absolute Oblivion had raised above his head was like the negative counterpart to a Spirit Bomb. Unlike the Spirit Bomb, which was a mass of hopes and positivity, the Null Bomb he held was a writhing mass of darkness and nullity meant to destroy the universe, to unmake everything, in one fell blow.

"Not so fast." Beerus said from behind the Armor monstrosity.
>>
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The Null Bomb... popped harmlessly, a hole punctured straight through it.

"UAHGN! H-HOW?! YOU ALREADY OVERCAME MY ATTACK?!"

"I didn't just pierce it."
>>
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"UAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-HHHGKKKKKKK-!"

Absolute Oblivion's vessel explodes, limbs being sliced and carved in an instant from Beerus' imperceptible attack!

"HOW?! HOW DID YOU GAIN SUCH POWER?! YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!"
>>
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"This is Autonomous Ultra Instinct. This is a height I had always wished to climb to. But I never could, because I never learned how to control my mental state even after all these tens of millions of years... until now."

"...DO YOU THINK... IT WILL SAVE YOU?!"

"No. My use of it is nowhere near Whis' level. You're still stronger than me, with enough power you might even brute force your way past the ability... but let me explain one thing. I'm not a mortal, my body won't suffer any negative effects from using this technique. I won't give out, or suddenly ripple with wounds like Goku, who also used this very power."

"...?!"

"I'm a god. And this is a technique natural to us. Try as you might, you'll have to be lucky to hit me now. But you won't last long enough to deal enough blows to kill me this time."

Beerus looked ahead at the fissure that led to the Null Realm which the Armor had bashed his way through.

"Your little gateway is guarded by the same molecules you're using to make that body... Well, I'm going to smash right through it myself. I'll jump right into your real mass. The molecules bonded with the Null Realm."

"I'm ending you here and now!"
>>
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"THIS IS UNFAIR... THIS IS UNFAIR! SO UNFAIR! UNFAIR! UNFAAAAIIIIIIRRRR! THIS WORLD... YOU MEDDLESOME GODS! I WON'T LET YOU! YOU'VE WON ENOUGH! NOW IS OUR TUUUURRRN!"

"DIMENSION COLLAPSE!"

Beerus found himself surrounded by luminous cages of geometric light. Everything was tightening around him again. The same dimension crushing technique that would have killed or maimed him before.

"Cute trick."

"ULTRA INSTINCT... IT DOES NOT MATTER! YOU CANNOT DODGE ME! I AM EVERYWHERE!"

"You're only omnipresent when you suffuse the air and surroundings with your molecules... but I but I can blow them away if I unleash enough of my power. After all, that's how I destroyed your ball. I shrouded myself in the Hakai like a blanket and rammed my head right through! Your nullity is a pale imitation of the actual Null Realm because you dilute it with your energy! I've already seen through all your tricks! I know your weakness! NOW GET LOST!"

Beerus clenched both hands and hunched over slightly.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"YOU'RE JUST A CAT! DIE ALREADY!"

>1d100 to break out!
>Best of 5 rolls!
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>6079412
nat 100 to mog him
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>6079412
HAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>6079412
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>6079412
BEHOLD, THE POWER OF THE ANGELS
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>6079422
nice

>>6079412
YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE ME A SANDWICH WHEN I ASKED!
>>
>>6079417
>>6079422
>>6079436
>>6079459
>>6079472
>97
Turns out a cat is fine, too.
>>
Aw fuck, looks like I lost formatting abilities. Oh well, at least it lasted this long before my darned IP changed!
>>
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"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HAAHH!"

The might of a God of Destruction is like that of a baby compared to Absolute Oblivion. The Armor wielded the might of the void. But with Ultra Instinct finally mastered, Beerus had tapped into a power that elevated him to levels he never imagined attainable before. He had climbed the summit, and for the moment, became the one God of Destruction that surpassed the mortal who no God of Destruction could defeat.

And this power was adequate to vanquish Oblivion, even when the monster held the upper hand.

"NGAH!"

His Ki blasted back, destroying the cage of Dimension Collapse and forcing away all the compressed dimensions and molecules on top of him.

"IMPOSSIBLE! HOW CAN YOU BE MORE POWERFUL THAN THE PLANES THEMSELVES?!"

"I'm a god! And I will destroy you!" Beerus proclaimed.
>>
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"NEVER!"

Absolute Oblivion's titanic form regenerated. Those severed limbs around it turned to smoke, and then in their place were copies of its body. More of the flaming titan stood.

"...?!" Beerus turned back in surprise.

"YOU DIE!" Oblivion howled.

All at once, five duplicates of the monster came at Beerus. His body reacted before his mind did, leaping over their strikes. Left and right, he dodged the flurry of attacks, and twisted in the air, avoiding invisible phased strikes and molecular streams. Oblivion cut the air with his finger slicers, unleashed volley after volley of Calculus Ray from the chests of its duplicates. It even ripped up rifts to unleash bullets of nullity guided by Eternal Molecules in a hailfire.

Beerus dodged everything without so much as breaking a sweat. His smug smile met the visors of the Armor.

"NNNGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" It rumbled with anger

Teleporting behind and in front of him, the duplicates tried to grab him, to strike him. He sliced them in half with Ultra Instinct. The void fissure billowed out more smokey trails of nullity like tendrils, but Beerus span around them all.

"THERE YOU ARE!"

"Ngh-?!"

Through sheer power, Oblivion put everything its body had into one strike from the next duplicate that appeared in front of Beerus. Its fist crashed into his skull, sending him back, where the other four duplicates were waiting.

Thrown with such ferocity and speed, he was pummeled again, and their combined legs stomped him down until he slipped out and wiped the blood from his lip.

'Damn! It overpowered Ultra Instinct... I have to end this now.' Beerus thought as he turned to the fissure.

"Let's see how you like it!"

Beerus's own body exploded into smoke. And now, there were several Beerus'.

"WHAT?!"

"Bet you didn't know I could do this trick, did you?"

The Oblivion duplicates warped to the front of the fissure, and sprang forward to meet the Beerus' clones flying forward.

Clone struck clone, both spreading one another into dust.

"HAHAHAH! THE LAST ONE!" Oblivion sang, before crushing what he thought was the final Beerus clone in his hand.

"Not quite."

"WHAT?! HOW DID YOU...?"

"I just made another clone on the fly."

Beerus kicked forward.

"HHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

And with the speed of Utra Instinct, smashed right through the fissure's molecular barrier, falling into the World of Void...
>>
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The Null Realm lay before him in its entirety. The arena from the time of the Tournament of Power was nowhere to be seen as Beerus felt himself slowly descend through its depth.

"...Hmph! There you are."

He looked ahead, and saw the "heart" of Oblivion. The molecular mass of Eternal Molecules bonded with the World of Void. This was where its bodies were coming from. This mass was what channeled the nullity through and drew energy from the void. If this heart was destroyed, the rest would follow.

Oblivion had no chance of surviving now that Beerus had reached its heart. He raised his hand at the thing, preparing to use his Hakai.

"WAIT!" It cried.

"AREN'T YOU SORRY?!"

"...Sorry?"

"FOR WHAT YOU DID! FOR ALL THE UNFAIRNESS! OUR UNDESERVED FATE! OUR SHORTCOMINGS?! HAVE NO REMORSE FOR WHAT YOU DID! NO REGRET!? NONE AT ALL!?"

He squinted at Absolute Oblivion's heart.

>What did Beerus answer with?
>>
>>6079745
>You just don't get it, do you? If I had any regrets about my duties, I wouldn't be a DESTROYER! NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!
Somehow I don't imagine you get this kinda job by wailing about the injustice of it all.
>>
>>6079745
>"My only regret is that I didn't do a better job before now. You've shown me just how important it is to take these duties more seriously, so you have my thanks! Now be quiet and enjoy Absolute Destruction."
>>
>>6079745
>"...If you recall, the Grand Minister only told me to get rid of your kind AFTER you failed to provide me a meal. All you had to do was use your "amazing abilities" to make some good food for me to not be branded as a bunch of future problems. So no, not really, it's your fault."

GASLIGHT, GATEKEEP, GODBOSS.
>>
>>6079788
+1
It was just a meal man...
WHICH MAKES IT ALL THE WORSE YOU DIDN'T MAKE IT
>>
>>6079758
+1
>>
>>6079758
>>6079786
>>6079788
These all sound like something Beerus would say, wish I could support them all
>>
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"You just don't get it, do you? If I had any regrets about my duties, I wouldn't a Destroyer God! NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

Beerus raised his hand.

"HAKAI!"

The wail of Absolute Oblivion pierced the air as its molecules began to implode. Outside of the World of Void, it was invulnerable. Completely invincible. But within the Null Realm's expanse, its nullity bonded Eternal Molecules were vulnerable.

It was defeated by Destruction. The legacy of the Armors was put to rest, once and for all.
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"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..................-"

Oblivion was defeated.
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As Oblivion faded from existence, the fissures acting as transit to the Null Realm began closing violently with pulses of energy that made the Supreme Kai fear the universe would be torn apart.

Artificial Perilous Matter Extroplanet ABS-2, the second homeworld of the Armors, was wiped from existence by the event horizon, until it died down, letting the Kai breath a sigh of relief that the universe would not be impacted by a dangerous singularity.

"That... was for threatening my food.... and the bunnies." Beerus said as he moved quick through the even horizon.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sZnEYtn664

Bulma Briefs, the Pilaf Gang and Trunks all yelped in response to the figures suddenly appearing within the lab at Capsule Corp.

"Bulma!" Beerus said.

"WAAAH! L-Lord Beerus?! Goku? Vegeta! Even Broly...?!"

"Bulma... I want whipped shortbread cookies. Just like in your mother's specialty recipe." He said, setting down the worn out Vegeta.

"Y-Yeah! Some Cookies and maybe a few Senzu Beans would go great right now! Sheesh!" Goku said with a weak smile.

"I... wait, you know about that? How?"

Whis raised his hand to his mouth and chuckled. "Oh ho ho ho ho! It's a long story."
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrGDtHEiPhQ

The story of how a god worked to raise his universe's mortal level and curate his domain ended there. As well did the story of how a bitter and maniacal race that sought universal supremacy worked for vengeance against him.

Beerus continued to work his routine on and off visits to Earth, destroying unworthy planets and threats to the universe, sparing those who added value to Universe 7 as he ever strove to fill out his footnotes and pad them well for the future as a critic.

Shin and Old Kai filled the empty spaces with new planets and breathed life into the cosmos, invigorating Universe 7 in ways it had never been before. And when the time came for the new announcement from the Kings of All of a new tournament that the highest mortal leveled universes would participate in, Universe 7 found itself among them, as the lowest of the Universes rated by highest Mortal Level, beating out Universe 6, just barely.

"THIS IS SO UNFAIR!" Champa would stomp his feet; "Beerus gets to participate in the first multiversal Tournament with only rewards and no risks and I'm just relegated here to watching on the sides! And on top of it all, I had to gather the Super Dragon Balls for it again! It sucks so much!"

"Heh." Beerus chuckled; "Don't worry, maybe if I'm feeling nice I'll let you have the most comfortable pillow in the multiverse once I win it."

"AAAAGH! Screw pillows! I'm already a living pillow! I WANT THAT EARTH FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!"
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None could be more excited to learn of the announcement than Goku was. He was going to have to put in a lot of work to prepare his universe for this momentous occasion alongside Beerus. Unlike the Tournament of Power, there was no longer an existential threat or short deadline to hold the universes back. This was going to be the most powerful event in any history.

"Thank you all for participating." The Grand Minister opened the announcement; "As you know, the Kings of All have decided that the Universes with the highest Mortal Levels will be participating. The top eightcontenders will make their ways to the first annual Outerversal Zeno Tournament. Universes one, twelve, five, eight, eleven, ten, three and seven will be participating. The tournament will be held in roughly five tok. Or, for most universes, that will be in five months from now."

"Each universe is expected to participate in a team brackets competition, with teams of twenty fighters per universe. The tournament will be held outside the multiverse, at Zeno's Palace. The teams that perform best will be entitled to many nifty items and luxury prizes, but the team that wins the tournament shall be entitled to a wish from the Super Dragon Balls. As well, there shall also be the Destroyer's Contest, a battle royal between the Gods of Destruction, as the pre-show."

"As well... the strongest competitor on the winning team will have the privilege to face... me, the multiverse's strongest warrior, in battle."

The Grand Minister pumped his fist.

"Do your best to prepare, and prepare to win, universes of our Kings!"
>>
With the news came a rush between the eight universes selected to fight. Filling in twenty spots on a team would be a task indeed. In Universe 7, the obvious choices were Goku, Vegeta, Gohan, Piccolo, Krillin, Tien Shinhan, Yamcha, Trunks, Goten, Androids 17 and 18, and Majin Buu. In addition, they would draft Broly and Roshi as well. Some other members that could possibly participate that were discussed were Jaco, Videl and Kibito.

Although it was preferable to avoid it, Frieza was also an obvious choice. But without the risk of the universe being erased, it was debatable on whether or not the Emperor of Evil would even wish to participate. Vegeta however did bring up a good point that there was no rule stated which excluded the possibility of drawing on the twin universe for fighters. Cabba, Caulifla and Kale and Hit could all make fine additions, as well as Saonel and Pilina.

But Beerus had acted first, after going over some history with the Supreme Kai... It seemed Frieza would participate after all, if only for the promise of possibility reaping the Super Dragon Balls. And alongside him was...
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"Cell?!" Gohan blurted.

"Gohan! So nice to finally see your grown visage in person. How 'lovely'..."

"Cell... How did you come back to life too?!" Gohan asked, clenching his fists.

"Is every one of our old enemies just resurrecting now? This has got to be a joke." Vegeta commented.

"Hahaha! Well, how do you think I came back to life?" Frieza said.

"Yes. I was ordered by Lord Beerus to resurrect this warrior after having a discussion with North Kai and King Yemma." Whis admitted.

"For good reason, I assure you. This warrior is extraordinarily powerful and I've been told his abilities would come very much in hand. Regeneration and the ability to grow in power throughout fighting like a Saiyan does is quite a boon. After all, don't think the other universes have gotten slack! Jiren's definitely worked to get stronger since the last time and you know he'll be gunning for Team Universe 7 just to fight Goku!" Beerus says.

"He's definitely different... and those colors... it's just like..." Gohan started.

"Yes! Indeed! I'm Perfect Cell Max now! Or is it Maximum Perfect Cell? Super Maximum Cell? Still haven't worked that out but isn't that wonderful!? You see, after you slayed that variant of me the portly one made, those Oni in charge of the afterlife didn't have a clue what to do with its soul. After all, that much power made it very hard to deal with. So let's just say, I agreed to take it on for myself, and gained that power for my own! I feel even stronger than what you killed was. We might even be equal now!" Cell explained.

But the Bio-Android shook his head.

"Aw! Fret not. I'm not planning on KILLING you all with this power. Not yet, at least. You have that much off your shoulders for now. I heard there was a special tournament going on, and I admit, I'm interested. It's been too long since I've had a good fight. That's all I want, really."

"Cell... you might be a "teammate" this time... but don't think you're off the hook once it's over." Gohan says.

"Oh no. I wouldn't dare. After all, we've got some scores to settle once all is said and done ourselves." Cell says with a smirk; "And I'm looking forward to it. Maybe after we're done with this, we can catch up. I even hear you're raising a family these days, Gohan. Maybe you can introduce me..."

"Not a chance, Cell. After this tournament's over, you and me. We'll find a spot."

"That's the spirit, boy."
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Such a tournament would see allies and enemies from both the past and present return. Even from the future.

"Z-Zamasu?!"

Goku swore that's who he saw.

"Ah, Goku. Very good to see you're still in operation." The Kai would sarcastically remark from where he stood outside the Omni-King's palace for the gathering of the warriors.

"Wait... are you the one from the future or?"

"I'm the one you saw Beerus exterminate on the spot, bereft of Immortality. Universe ten found itself short of options, so Master Rumsshi ordered Kusu to bring me back to life in desperation so I could be drafted for whatever godforsaken godly nonsense this event is."

"Well... Some part of me is actually glad to see you get a second chance. But another part of me is super wary about that. Oh man, first Cell, now you... it's like time's being distorted! And I don't mean like how you did it with the Time Rings." Goku said.

Zamasu growled, hating to hear his voice even more and more.

"You won't have to worry, those are very much out of my reach. Master Rumsshi will be keeping a close eye on me this time. Even outside this tournament I'll under observation as Gowasu "rehabilitates me" on his orders. Even though he admits Gowasu was part of what "made me snap", according to him..."

"Well, good luck out there. I hope you're as strong as your future self was. This tournament's gonna be tough. And if we happen to meet in the ring, I'll be looking forward to it. You did have some good moves, Zamasu." Goku said, before walking off.

"Curse you... filthy mortal degenerate... I heard everything from Gowasu since I died... Tournament of Power this... universes erased that... Mark my words, damn heathen, I will not stop... I will not fail next time..."

Zamasu turned away to gaze out at the cosmos again, silently burning with immense rage.
>>
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The next chapter of the story of our heroes unfolded in the Outerversal Zeno Tournament. Great powers would clash once more, rocking the foundations of all that the Kings of All ruled. Immense powers from the past and present! The invincible strongest of the strong, Jiren! The ultimate beastly Gohan! The renewed perfection of Cell! The hateful Zamasu! The golden tyrant Frieza! And more!

But that was a story for another time. For now, Beerus felt satisfied with his work that had been done.

Universe 7 came in over Universe 6. A good ending in his book.
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[ QUEST END ]

Thanks for playing Beerus The Destroyer's Intergalactic Food Reviews!
>>
>>6080169
And thank you for running boss man. Very comfy quest.
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Oblivion jumpscare
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Is Beerus even allowed to date the princess?
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>>6080169
Thank you for running. This was a really fun low stakes quest and I enjoyed getting into the head of the Destroyer of U7. Planet Bounts was my favorite, between how easily the Princess flustered the God of Destruction and the dilemma of being a fair culinary judge.
>>
>>6080216
I mean, I don't imagine there's anyone stopping him. Other than his ridiculously long lifespan and tendency to take naps longer than most people's lifespans.
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>>6080169
thank's levelboy, see you soon.
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>>6080169
This was a really excellent quest. Thanks for running it. It must have been a ton of work!
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>>6080169
Real great stuff. First quest I've been part of from beginning to end, and I'm glad it was this one.

>>6080236
I imagine the rest of the gods besides ol' greeny wouldn't take too much issue unless it made him Sidra 2.0
>>
>>6080160
You know it makes me wonder, who would even be chosen to fill out all 20 spots on the team if they're so desperate for manpower they're even willing to recruit Cell.

>>6080164
Deserved lmao

>>6080197
Man it's gonna be fucked when Fu goes to this part of history and gives Oblivion a supervillain mode power up for shits and giggles, clean it up time patrol jannies

>>6080216
Beerus can do whatever the fuck he wants. Who's gonna stop him now that he's achieved UI?
>>
>>6076944
I think this oneshot has been fantastic. You've seriously outdone yourself, Levelman. I kept getting hungry reading the updates. You have a real talent for drawing and describing food, which is something that's hard for a lot of people to do. I'm going to go against the grain here and say I was most intrigued by the Blubberians, but I like icees and so on in general. My favourite species besides them was probably the Pebblemen, but the Salalians were fascinating as well, in an antagonistic way.

R.I.P. the species that failed to evolve a means of satisfying Beerus's refined tastes. Also the, what, six satellites we casually obliterated? This whole quest was fantastic, kek.

>>6080169
Thank you for running Beerus The Destroyer's Intergalactic Food Reviews! This was the most off-the-wall concept for a quest I've seen in years, and you executed it as well as possibly could have been. This was 5/5 in every respect- Earth-tier, even. Again, thank you for brightening my day.
>>
>>6080160
Also goddamn now that I think about it, combining Cell Max's raw power with Perfect Cell's regen, Saiyan zenkai boosts, ability to learn and copy attacks and psychic power basically makes him a good threat to even Jiren, holy shit. Beerus is playing with fucking fire.
>>
>>6080837
Counterpoint, shouldn't Frieza be unlocking his Forma de Negro soon? The one that one-shot UI Goku?
>>
>>6080841
To be fair, didn't he already get super exhausted fighting Granolah and Gas back to back? Also, manga isn't comparable, Jiren's a lot weaker there cause he's only stronger than Belmod, but anime Jiren is just straight up above all the GoDs
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>>6080845
>To be fair, didn't he already get super exhausted fighting Granolah and Gas back to back
Even so, Black Frieza one-shot Gas, TUI Goku and UE Vegeta. That's *a lot*
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>>6080845
Well, not stronger, just a better fighter. GoDs still above everyone in the manga lol

>>6080847
True but Gas was also literally a zombie turning to dust already
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>>6080837
Honestly, I've always argued that Cell would have been a superior grab than Frieza for the ToP. Think about it:
>More cooperative in general
>Loves fighting more
>Piccolo's general intelligence, Goku's fighting intelligence, Everyone's trickiest techniques
>Frieza's raw potential, Saiyan Zenkai, Namekian Regeneration turned up to 11
>Two infinite energy generators integrated into (and recreated by) his biology
>Can retake any form his body has previously been in, regardless of the requirements
>Still capable of absorption

Putting ALL of this together, and the fact that Saiyan Zenkai appears to grow in strength the bigger the potential threat the individual can feel, Cell absolutely has no need of integrating Cell MAX to become a DEVASTATING threat in the tournament. He only needs to train with the Z-warriors for at most a day or two, being brought to near death constantly in the process, to skyrocket to their tier and possibly even above. His highly adaptable biology would likely not run into the same issues that the Saiyans have with their own zenkais suddenly petering out in effectiveness as we saw against Zamasu.
And then we should factor in the fact that Super Perfect Cell is hardly the truest final form he could take, as he could likely mimic Frieza in taking on Golden-equivalent forms or go the route of the Saiyans in either achieving perfection beyond perfection or attempting his OWN godly ritual by using his own children in the process.

Thank you for attending my TED talk.
>>
>>6080857
Frieza was kind of a last minute choice and was probably more easily available than Cell since he was just in his hell tree and already had control of Gold Frieza.
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>>6080857
Reminds me of this what if battle I saw about a Golden Cell, but he was basically stacking SSG and Golden on top of each other at the same time because of his cells. Also Rosé for some reason. He wouldn't be able to use the ritual but he should be capable of reaching SSG like Vegeta did through training.
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>>6080863
I know, but Cell is still a smarter choice regardless. Especially since he has physical wings he can fly with.
Even if they grabbed cell a mere hour beforehand, that's an hour to pulp and regenerate him. He'll be of adequate power by the time he steps foot in the arena. Ans even if he somehow is not, well, fucking Roshi held on a long ass time.
>>
>>6080883
That's a gamble. Frieza is already on SSGB+ tier power, and has a very good reason to play ball.
>>
Fuck, I am still amazed that Yerushalmi made something which justified Whis throwing his gauntlet down though GrandDragon, if you ever read this quest please don't get any cooky ideas, our boy isn't ready for super void monsters yet...

>>6080883
Honestly believe ToP Roshi could have given Perfect Cell some trouble. Everyone did notably grow in time for it. Whether Roshi was just training off screen or the fucking paper seal shit that let him beat Tien to a pulp gave him a power up out of nowhere.
>>
>>6080883
What makes his physical wings a factor?

>>6080857
I also always got the idea that Frieza was a 'big picture thinker' in a way Cell wasn't. By the time he achieved perfection, Cell seemed content to just prove he was the best and kill everyone else. Frieza has more reason to care about the state of the wider universe, because he wants to dominate it and lease/mortgage it out.
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>>6081002
>What makes his physical wings a factor?
The Tournament of Powers no fly rule does not extend to physical ability to fly. Hence why Anilaza was just going to blow the arena up while flying above with his wings to eliminate everyone else and win
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>>6080883
>Ans even if he somehow is not, well, fucking Roshi held on a long ass time.
The TOP never made sense in that area. It was all about the rule of cool.
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>>6082544
To be fair, it was really fucking cool.
>>
I wonder how Zamasu is even supposed to contend in the outerversal Zeno tournament if he's his weakest present version and not the stronger future version or Black.
>>
>>6082572
Probably the same way that Krillin, Roshi, and Tienshinhan were able to.
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>>6082578
True but it's Zamasu
Unlike them he's prone to having Zamasu moments, he'll probably do something super retarded in a bid to get more powerful and end up getting the Frost treatment
Imagine if he's unlucky enough to run into Cell lol
>>
>>6082572
He's still a Kai you know. He's probably got a ton of tricks up his sleeve after training under Gowasu. Even his healing ability (something even Trunks could do by just technically apprenticing under a Supreme Kai) could be massively useful in a battle royale.
>>
>>6082547
I know. Honestly, the thing that bothered me most in Super was the art direction. Really disliked how the characters lost muscle.
>>
>>6082789
The shading and colour grading is realky what spoils it for me.
>>
>>6082789
Toriyama only ever drew slim characters in the years leading up to his passing, which is kinda weird to me. Maybe he didn't want to get pigeonholed, hence why his preferences kept changing.
Either way, I think Super's worst visual sin is the fact that Yamamuro was still directing animation at the time.
>>
>>6103462
He drew slimmer characters in the late DB/early Z era, too.
>>
I just wanna see Perfect Cell Max vs Jiren
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>>6103482
Those types of character designs certainly existed at that time, yes, but I still maintain that Toriyama's later designs for existing characters were skinnier and lankier than their past counterparts. They also generally lacked a lot of the muscular definition you'd see in his illustrations in the mid-90's to early 2000's as well.



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