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In the depths of Universe 7's vast space, a planet furiously explodes.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cp_QNLSBTLI

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"Huuuoooaaaggghhhk.... nmm..."

The Destroyer yawned, resting his cheek upon a weary palm as he stared into the passing streaks of the warp tunnel. He sighed as he spat to the side, saying with much displeasure; "Those fatsos were all quacks if I've ever seen any. Their food was terrible, it was like all so greasy and slick! Like a wad of grease as fat as they were. Who knows what they were thinking! Were they trying to kill me?!"

"Yes, it was rather dismal, what those rotund gentlemen were cooking up. While I find it generous you'd offer to actually allow me to sample alongside you for once, I'm glad I declined this time." Commented his vehicle for travel. The Angel Attendant, Whis.

"No kidding, even Champa isn't that shameful." Beerus said, shutting his eyes.

"Hmm..." Whis looked over his shoulder, just peeking at the twitching ears of his Destroyer; "You know, you are being very proactive today in your forte. I'd say even more than usual."

"Well," Beerus started, peeling a lid open; "-it sure beats having to babysit a blue haired brat for the day."

Whis hummed to himself, seemingly content to take that much as an answer he'd settle for, but Beerus spoke again, and curse his big mouth when he rants on in Whis' ear. - "I suppose I'd also like to fill a plate besides my own. It's about time I gave those lethargic Kais a thing or two to keep themselves preoccupied. A nudge in the right direction of governance."

"Peculiar," Whis said, suspicions aroused; "-are you certain it's merely a change of pace in the daily routine that's gotten you all worked up like this and nothing else?"

"What are you implying, Whis?" Beerus said, both eyes flickering open.

"Well, it hasn't been long since the Tournament of Power concluded, milord." Whis said with a smile; "I'd be wary of Grand Zeno getting any ideas for a new inter-universal. If a low Mortal Level was the qualifier for the last tournament's entry, it wouldn't be so farfetched if it was again for the next. If I do recall, Universe 7 failed to account for having an acceptable Mortal Level."

Beerus felt his left eye twitch, a pang of nerve-wracking anxiety coursing down his spine.

"I-It's nothing like that! I'm not worried about Universe 7's chances if we ever have to engage in another grueling contest like that! Not at all! I'm totally confident in Grand Zeno and the Grand Minister's rule!" Beerus snapped; "My reasons are clear! Hmph! Besides, while I would be perfectly content to spend the rest of my days gorging myself on Earth's chow, I'd been longing for that sense of nostalgia in traveling the cosmos and judging all that I rule as well."

"A refreshing change of pace, if anything, my lord."

Beerus nodded.

"I may be a harsh critic, but being an accurate critic is crucial to the role of God of Destruction. I've had the Seer begin assisting me in keeping my reviews and recording my experiences."

Whis chuckled. "I didn't know you were looking forward to retirement, Lord Beerus."

"Hey! I'm just keeping footnotes! I'm not retiring any time soon!"

"Truly? We have found promising candidates in Vegeta and Broly, my lord."

"Tch!" The Embarrassed God of Destruction looked away; "I will have to be replaced one day. It's inevitable. Whether it takes a couple million years more from now or a trillion. The next God of Destruction may not do things exactly as I've done, but my footnotes will be a helpful guide for cultivating the mindset that befits the position most. THAT'S WHY THEY'RE FOOTNOTES AND NOTHING MORE FOR NOW, GOT IT?!"

"Oh ho ho ho ho! Alright, as you say, my lord."

"I've even formulated an official Beerus the Destroyer's ranking system to use from now on." The cat bragged.

"Oh?"

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"There's five stars in total I will rank planets by, in terms of their cuisine. As I've said, tasting the universe out there is something I've needed to get back to. I've even named each star a tier of its own. Five stars, and you're officially Earth tier. Four, and you're North Kai's cooking tier. Three stars is, mmn... decent tier. Two stars is rubbish, and a whopping one star places you on the same tier as the Supreme Kai of Time."

"HEY!" A new voice suddenly barked into the conversation. Both Beerus and Whis glanced up in shock to the flowing tunnel around them. Beerus felt his ears twitch. He recognized that squeaky, high pitched tone.

"Supreme Kai of Time! I wasn't aware you were monitoring me..." Beerus grumbled through his jowls.

"Oh! Uh! Well, there's nothing really going on right now, no timey wimey crises or distortions in history, so the Time Nest is pretty quiet! I've just, uh, been tuning into other events in the multiverse hoping to see something interesting is all! I swear! B-But anyway, WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM GOING AND NAMING A BOTTOM OF THE BARREL RANKING AFTER MY COOKING ANYWAY, HUH?!" Chronoa squealed impotently; "My cooking isn't THAT bad!"

"HAAHAAHAAHEHE! He's got you there, short stuff!" North Kai suddenly interjected; "They say you keep accidentally misplacing your dish detergent and flour with one another! Hahahahah! There's no way your cooking beats my buttered biscuits! Tell her Bubbles!"

"Eeeeheeehehehe! Maybe when you're one thousand years older like me you'll be able to serve up a dish that put people in the cemetery, little lady!" Old Kai snickered telepathically.

"U-Uh, p-pardon my intrusion, but I'm not sure that chiming in like this will serve to do anything more than tick off Lord Beerus..." Shin shakily said over their shared wavelengths.

Beerus perked up with a smile.

"Actually, while knowing that you lot are constantly invading the privacy of my thoughts is rather infuriating, I'm glad you've spoken up, little Kai. You'll have a big workload on your hands soon, so I hope you're ready."

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"U-Uh! G... guh?!" Shin gawked, speechless; "A-Are you really going to destroy a ton of planets again?"

"Damn right I am!" Beerus yelled; "I'm doing MY job this time, so you don't get to use that card anymore! I want this universe and its Mortal Level raised and shaped up! Your policy of noninterference is mostly-... erhh... part of the reason we even had to participate in Grand Zeno's games. It's time to start showing those Mortals some miracles like a real god, Kai."

"Kg... I... I understand..." Shin sighed.

"Good.... NOW GET OUT OF MY EARS ALREADY! ALL OF YOU!" Beerus shouted at them all.

Whis tapped his staff. The warp around faded.

"Lord Beerus, we have arrived to the next planet. I've taken the liberty of selecting a number of them myself for this endeavor, even informing them of your arrival ahead of time! We'll be punctual. Very well, let's get to work, shall we?"

"Let's. My stomach is an abyss and it's not even ten percent full." Beerus said.

Together, the two began their descent...

~~~

>>> SELECT A PLANET TO VISIT
>Planet Bounts
>Planet Algone
>Planet Crog
>Frieza Clan Rebel Colony G-4
>Planet Ooanmit
>Planet Loqu
>Planet Blubbier
>Nebula 451M5
>Planet Cinndorell
>Planet Salal

>>6071606

>Planet Crog
Sounds like Grog, good enough for me.

Also, is Old Kai implying that Time Kai's cooking is so bad it destroys their soul and in a thousand years they'll improve to only kill someone or are they joking about training their cooking as a killing art?

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>>6071636
Ah-Ah, and there's the first typo...! There should be a "doesn't" before "put" in that line, since he's saying her cooking is so bad it kills people. Apologies, I need to take better care to proofread, haha...

>>6071639
It's cool, death's weird in DBZ and I haven't played many games so I legit assumed it was the first thing.

>>6071606
>Planet Crog
Planet Crog shall be... GOOD ENOUGH! Or it shall be DESTROYED! Before these mortals lies... EXCELLENCE... ANNIHILATION... It will either HAPPEN or it WON'T! Perfect 50/50 chance if you look at the FACTS!

>>6071606
>Planet Crog
Something tells me this is another planet of primitives, meaning their cuisine probably won't be super refined. Here's hoping they have ingredients good enough to make up for that if that's the case.

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Beerus sniffed as he and Whis descended into the atmosphere of a green planet cloaked with a reddish hue.. It smelled... like a swamp. A planet spanning swamp of insect ridden bayous and odorous marshes. The whiff of it left a metallic taste in Beerus' mouth already and he stuck his tongue out dismissively, looking down at the muggy planet.

"Urgh. What a dump. Is this planet nothing but wetlands? Probably inhabited by some warty, smelly amphibians I'd imagine."

"As a matter of fact, my lord, it is. This is Planet Crog, inhabited by the froglike Goboxians."

"Hmmm... Say, Whis, how exactly did you go about selecting this lineup we're on anyway? I don't want that diminutive Kai to yap at me for eradicating civilizations that haven't properly "developed" anymore."

"Very considerate of you, Lord Beerus." Whis looked at him with surprise.

Beerus merely crossed his arms. "Well, I am a merciful and fair god. Just this once I'm willing to consider his complaints with my work, since I'm kicking him into action improving his own!"

"I see. Well, then I will admit to you that it was a completely random survey. I haven't cherry picked any specific planets for our endeavor."

"Hmph. Very well."

"The Supreme Kai of the East may be heavily encumbered. He already had much work to do creating new worlds before you clocked back in."

"Tch. I have to go this far to propel him. Some universes out there manage to get by on no more Supreme Kais than we currently have. Hell, Gowasu of Universe 10 is all alone after all that happened with his punk of an apprentice." Beerus pointed out.

Whis nodded.

"Back to the matter at hand."

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Planet Crog was a planet with a low population, relatively. In the past, the Frieza Force had assaulted the world and reduced the Goboxians to just the supercontinent their world hosted, wiping out the traces of civilization on its mini-continents to prove a point. This led to a history of them exporting goods to Frieza's empire for generations, in return for trading rights and the privilege to be owned by Lord Cooler himself, until the Frieza Force declined with the death of its Emperor and later his brother Cooler.

Since then, Planet Crog, basically isolated, had become a popular transit point for the underworld of the galaxy to avoid the Galactic Patrol. It hosted vast black markets in its swamp cities, bringing in an income to the stagnate Goboxian people. Not many Goboxians exist off world. The swamp terrain was already perfect for their people.

The Destroyer and his Attendant Angel found themselves descending into the middle of a little palace of sorts in the capital of the supercontinent. A city floated on top of a swamp, every building built on top of and supported by beams rising from the blackish water. Swamp trees were in the crevices of every street, boats being the main means of transportation for those who didn't swim. All around, there was nothing but croaking. Incessant croaking!

"Ahh! Welcome to Crog, honored deities!" Said a voice that sounded as if it had lumps in its throat. An assembly of Goboxians at a large table or parliament of some fashion awaited the God of Destruction in the swamp palace. This must have been their representative.

"I am Gumbo, speaker for the oligarchs of Planet Crog. It is my honor to meet you at last, noble divinity."

"Hm, yes, yours." Beerus said, pinching his nose.

"Dgh.... uh... Y-Yes, well..."

"Mmm. The last planet I destroyed was also populated by a race of round balls like you. I trust you prepared to impress me beyond their ability with an offering then?"

The Goboxian parliament all whispered. Nervous and hushed conversations and words were exchanged as they eyed the bold Destroyer. Gumbo cleared his throat.

"Of course, great God of Destruction, although it is my duty to inform you that we will not be able to satisfy any culinary requirements to this impression... a-as was informed to us by your majordomo. Y-... You see, us Goboxians subsist on a diet solely comprised of insects."

"Hmmm... Insects, you say?"

"Yes, Lord Beerus. As any amphibian should, we derive our protein solely from this planet's boundless plagues of delectable insects. Though, we wouldn't be so... audacious as to assume his lordship is willing to eat live insects as we do."

"That is a problem then. My visitation to a planet is much like inviting a guest of high notoriety into your home, to a dinner, or when you're throwing a banquet. That boss you invite from work in the hopes that buttering him up will net you that promotion or raise you've been salivating over..." Beerus began, trailing off as he walked around Gumbo and towards the Parliament of frogs, who, some of them, in response began to flinch and stand and walk away in fright as he plopped himself down in the biggest seat and spun around a bit in it; "And what do you do to treat a guest right on such an occasion? You ensure they're comfortable with your dwelling. You open the door for them, shake their hand, offer them a nice seat and tell them, "help yourself!". So far, you've told me that is not what you have for me. So then, I must ask... what DO you have, Goboxian?"

Gumbo gulped, and smiled.

"Eheh... We deigned to offer you a specialty our planet is known for, Lord Beerus. We offer you one of the most popular varieties of alcoholic beverage that finds its way across this galaxy. The very own unique Mucus Beer of Planet Crog."

Beerus blinked.

"..."

Gumbo stood there, squeezing his hands tightly behind his back, nearly about to squeeze the digits right off. The sweat that trickled down his forward blended in with the mucus his skin already secreted.

"...You're offering me a drink? A drink of all things?

"Weh... Well, Lord Beerus, it's not just any drink."

"You make beer out of.... mucus...? Like what's oozing from your body right now?"

Gumbo licked his licks, to emphasize his point. "Yes! We actually consume our own mucus. It's very beneficial for our health! Like a natural s-substance! We already have plenty of water. W-When the Frieza Force began importing exotic goods such as liquors from other worlds, we naturally began to mix the two. M-Many races beyond our own actually do buy plenty of units of it!"

"...Ghhhn..." Beerus growled.

"Dh-... H-... I... I swear, you'll like it, if you just give it a try! W-We've even brought out shot glasses and multiple bottles, Lord Beerus! Wh-Who knows! You may even get sauced up and enjoy the slurry! Haha... Pl-Please, consider it, noble God duh-dof D-De-Destruction!"

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Beerus felt the vein above his eyes pulse. His claw tapped the arm of the chair he sat in. His eyes were dark with shadows that struck fear into the whole room. They dared to suggest... in a remotely serious manner, that the God of Destruction himself consume MUCUS in a bottle that's been watered down with water, alcohol, and who knows what else from this godforsaken swamp of a planet? Genuinely? And they thought this was okay?

(Mercy & Hakai Points counter added. Obtain at least 9 Mercy Points to get the Good Ending. Having more Hakai Points results in the Humiliated by Universe 6 Ending!)

>Fair enough. They've got guts. Try the Mucus Beer... and if it's no good, this whole arm of the galaxy can go bye-bye! (1+ MERCY)
>This is unacceptable. Such a foolish and frankly revolting species as this has no place anymore in the world. (1+ HAKAI)

>>6071659
>Fair enough. They've got guts. Try the Mucus Beer... and if it's no good, this whole arm of the galaxy can go bye-bye! (1+ MERCY)
Whatever it is, it's probably still better than what Chronoa might whip up.

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"Ghrnnn.... Very well." Beerus snorted, much to the collective relief of the Goboxians. But they weren't totally at ease yet. "I will try this... Mucus Beer of yours. But let me tell you now... If I don't like it, every planet and sun within one hundred systems reach here is getting destroyed."

"W-... G-Guk! Th-That would wipe out the neighboring Magonians we trade with too... U-Uh! M-Make haste! Bring this man his offering!"

Slippery feet made their way across the floor. A Goboxian servant approached Beerus as he swiveled slightly to the right in the big chair and knelt before him, holding up a tray topped with multiple bottles full of a green substance reflecting the lights in the room. Curiously, he raised an eyebrow as he appraised the goods and reached forward for one that truly stood out to him.

"This one is shaped like... your kind's legs."

"Ah, yes. That one is an expensive sort, Swamprocks Special Blend, ten ninety. The peculiar frog-leg shape actually has a storied history."

"And what kind of history is that which causes you to make such a ridiculous bottle shape?"

"Well... figuratively and literally, the Frieza Force kicked us around in the past. One of the popular things their stationed soldiers would do is threaten to turn locals into frog legs. As in the food, frog legs. However, we came to adore the shape and reconstruct it into something that... that we pride. Our race's strong legs."

"You are all pudgy and bloated."

"Well, it speaks volumes of the strength of our legs to be able to move us pudgy and bloated beings, sire... Ehehe."

"Whatever." Beerus said, swishing the bottle of Swamprocks blend in his hand. "Hmm... Bottoms up."

Twisting the top off, Beerus grabbed the bigger of the two shot glasses before him and filled it to the brim with the green liquid slowly, without spilling even a drop. He had the keen eyes of a true gourmet, ones that could not miss the way the liquor oozed out of the bottle. It had the same consistency of mucus, slowly snaking downwards like slime. But it was way more watery. It smelled strong. He noted the way that the liquid had some... globules of some sort rushing down through the stream.

"Hmm?"

He tilted his glass. The stuff didn't even spill, at least not immediately.

"Our beverages all use tree barks boiled to perfection, along with wetland berries. The most important ingredient beyond our somewhat toxic mucus secretion that gives it a spicy hint is the shellac we farm from our insect droves here on our planet. The shellac resin melts perfectly into the mixture as we distill it, allowing the alcohol to blend into the perfect fermented drink. A heads up now that it may tingle in your nostrils, Lord Beerus."

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Without further ado, Beerus threw the shot back into his throat and snapped his jaw shut.

"Mmmmhmmm... hm..."

Swishing the globules and juice back and forth, and then swallowing it before setting his glass down. He held his hand to his nose, and sniffled before he gagged a little, and then coughed once.

"..."

"Odd."

"Odd, sire?"

"It's not as horrible as I believed it would be. By all means, I can see why some would enjoy the taste of melted shellac mix with those tangy hints of spicy mucus diluted by the alcohol additive... however..."

"H-However...?"

"...the consistency is unforgivable. Absolutely unforgivable. I can't stand the way this feels against my tongue. It's as if I had my own mucus in my mouth. The residual feeling is quite perturbing." Beerus said, before reaching forward and grabbing the bottle next to the Swamprocks and reading the label; "Toadstool. Lovely."

Plucking the cork out with his claw, Beerus took a swig of this one.

"Mhf!'

He set it down and stuck his tongue out.

"Blegh. Now this one just feels like gelatin in my mouth. Watery gelatin."

"Like melted candy from Earth. Jellybeans, I'd think." Whis said, to which Beerus snapped his finger in his direction.

"Toadstool is a brand that famously blends their alcohol to soften the fluid."

"It's much tangier. I still feel it in my nose and head. Huf... Well, I've had enough of that."

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Beerus stood up from the chair, and stepped past Gumbo, back over to Whis' side in the midst of the Goboxian parliament. He turned and faced Gumbo, who had an awfully optimistic look on his face.

"Well sire, now that you've tried our finest products... what do you think? Have we earned salvation for our planet? I-I respect your valued opinion as a taste tester, ah-buh-b-but as a personal opinion, the success of our Mucus Beer speaks for itself across the stars! It is quite good..."

Beerus raised his chin and began to think...

'That concoction was quite awful to put in the mouth, but the taste was not bad. Maybe half bad, but not bad bad. If only it had the serene consistency of pure watery liquid, I would have perhaps even upgraded my opinion to liking it... In many ways, it's something the Supreme Kai of Time would cook up in whatever despicable witch's cauldron she has in her kitchen that makes everything she creates so bad, but I want to give it the benefit of the doubt that they've stooped to her low... so I'm a bit hard to decide here....'

>How many stars is Mucus Beer?

>>6071705
>I'd say a 2.5. It's not bad but leaves a lot to be desired. And having to drink someone else's mucus is revolting.

>>6071705
>2 Stars. A decent enough flavor and aftertaste, but the texture makes this an overall lacking experience. They would do well to branch out and experiment with the consistency of their brew in the future.

>>6071705
>2 Stars
Solidly meh showing, but it wasn't too offensively bad.

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"I have decided." Beerus says, raising two fingers.

Gumbo tilted his head as much as he could, pressing into his fat green rolls. He looks quizzically at the two fingers the Destroyer had raised.

"Ehmmm... What does this gesture mean, Lord Beerus? The Goboxian Parliament does n-not understand."

"I give you two stars."

"Two... stars...?"

"Final rating; Rubbish!."

"R-R-R..."

The Goboxians began to visibly panic, looking to one another. Some of them were even considering drawing guns to fire at Beerus, as foolish as that was. Gumbo could hardly catch his breath.

"W-buh... w-wuh... w-ha-ho-haa... haa... wh-what is to b-become of our planet then...?!"

"I will give you something." Beerus smiled as his middle finger folded.

Atop his one raised claw, the faint purple glow of his Ki emanating above with a chiming sound soon accumulated into a shape not unlike the atom. Purplish swirls and rings danced around an orb balanced on his claw's tip.

"Here, Goboxian. Catch."

He bounced it forward, and it fell slowly through the air in a loop towards Gumbo, who instinctively held his hands out.

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"I... I got it!"

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1+ Mercy Point
1+ Hakai Point

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"Mhmhm!"

"Can't handle your booze, Lord Beerus?"

"Pft. I doubt there's anyone that could out-drink me in the seventh's cosmos." He boasted, head held high as they entered warp transit again.

"D-Did you really have to blow an entire whole in that galaxy?!" Shin suddenly complained using his telepathy again.

"When Beerus the Destroyer makes a promise, he keeps it!" Old Kai added.

"Mhm! I would not have sworn to something I did not intend to do, Kai. But let's not cry over spilled milky way, you get to patch the hole up once all is said and done!"

North Kai whispered past his palm; "Like he won't just tell me to take care of it all since it's in my quadrant!"

"Ohhh..." Shin groaned. "You know, you said I don't get to pull the "card" anymore and complain about the way you're doing your job, but I still can."

"What do you mean?"

"The God of Destruction is also tasked with eliminating threats to his universe. You can't just spend all your time blowing up planets and doing nothing else."

"As soon as there is a credible threat to Universe 7, I'll have you know I'll be right on it faster than Whis can fly! It's just that there isn't at the moment."

"It would have been helpful if you were awake during Majin Buu's rampage. You could have died in your sleep!"

"That's just because you HAD to break the shiny sword I left behind on your planet giving it to a Saiyan to swing around like a toy! But now that you've reminded me... Old geezer!"

"E-Eh?! Me?" Old Kai stammered.

"Since you are out, and the only other Kai around, you can help East Kai to make a plethora of lovely new planets, stars and mortals for the universe."

"Ehhhh! Now, it's not as though I don't want to help, it's just that... ouughh! These aching old hands of mine are so worn out and spent, they're much better suited to lifting the pages of nice magazines I get from Earth than they are lifting a finger to spit out some Creation magic!"

"I see. Then I shall at once find a new sword for you."

"But I guess it wouldn't hurt for me to try anyway is what I'm actually saying!" Old Kai stammered out.

"That's the spirit! Just you wait, we'll have Universe 7 as the top rated by Mortal Level in no time!"

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"Killing Frieza would go a long ways to helping that." Shin mumbled.

"Oh, but don't you want to see what a finale it will be when those three Saiyans on my planet face him together? I wouldn't want to miss it."

"I hate to interrupt these charming back and forths, Lord Beerus, but we've arrived at the next planet I had in mind."

"Hopefully this time they actually have some grub. Let's go see."

~~~

>>> SELECT A PLANET TO VISIT
>Planet Bounts
>Planet Algone
>Frieza Clan Rebel Colony G-4
>Planet Ooanmit
>Planet Loqu
>Planet Blubbier
>Nebula 451M5
>Planet Cinndorell
>Planet Salal

>>6071755
>Planet Salal
That name sounds...oddly familiar.

>>6071755
>Frieza Clan Rebel Colony G-4
I'm hungry for ice cream

>>6071755
>Planet Loqu
i get the feeling this one might actually have something nice.

>>6071755
>Planet Loqu
Loqu, Loqur, Liquor
We're drinking today!

Also, what's the lowest possible rating we can give a planet without blowing it up?

>>6071755
>Planet Loqu
Eh, the Goboxians had it coming. Sooner or later. Poor frogs.

>>6071814
Come on anon, you don't want to spoil the joy of discovery!

>>6071880
(phonepoasting)
I don't want to come off as a whiny bitch, but like, while I wasn't here for the vote, I thought only 1 star was destruction, and at least two other anons were under the impression that only a 1-star was the rating needed for a destruction unless we're gonna go Judge them in the afterlife too...

Then again, the place was a black market haven, and they kinda fucked themselves hard by not even trying to also make some sort of insect dish that was optional or some shit. Motherfuckers could have at least tried to whip up some Escargot or something similar.

...Maybe I am a whiny bitch.

>>6071814
>>6071880
perhaps 3, since it's decent

>>6071755
>>Planet Salal

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>>6071964
This would be about right, though decent may still net the "only half this time" treatment. Anything less than decent is unacceptable for Lord Beerus of course.

>>6072092
To be absolutely fair, an intergalactic tradehub SHOULD have a wider variety of cuisine available than what Crog presented (not to mention the ability to recognize a foreign mammal like Beerus probably wouldn't care for mucus beer). That they didn't after being notified ahead of time just demonstrates their headassery and lack of respect for Beerus.

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A red world lied below. It had harsh and heavy winds carrying dust that buffeted the Destroyer as he descended quick through the atmosphere. The whipping haboobs nearly blew off the fashionable collar around his neck, which he caught quickly. He made haste, shooting down to the ground in a second, grunting as Whis had still somehow beaten him there.

"This place is quite sweltering Whis."

"Indeed. Planet Loqu is one of the naturally hottest planets in the universe that isn't a magma world due to the proximity it has to its red dwarf parent star. The native Loquas people are adapted to its harsh conditions. Only the hardiest of other races can bear the conditions long without needing some form of protection." Whis explained.

"Maybe they have something spicy they cook up on this dust ball then! I... hm? Whis, what is that?"

"Oh, that?" Whis looked over.

Ahead of them was a great series of canyons, in which the Loquas made their homes. At the apex of their canyons was a ground that connected each together, tying them in one knot, and this ground was slightly sunken. A crater dug into the bedrock, a massive lookout palace nestled atop it.

"That's where we're headed. The planet's speaker is there. It's much like the lookout on Earth, isn't it?"

"So this planet has a Guardian, huh?"

"It would seem so. He is expecting us."

When they arrived, Beerus gazed forward at the old man leaning against a tree, waiting for someone. Possibly him.

The alien was red skinned, he had ridges that were lighter in complexion, and the sides of his head were decked with two horns curved up, three holes in the side. Presumably what they heard with.

He approached meekly, carrying himself with some difficulty. The old man looked up at his guests.

"We have the stimulant boosters ready. Three shipments, as asked. Did you bring the money?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"...Oh... Wait... You're the other one."

"Expecting more company, Loquas?"

"...Yes. Just some business..." He said, before falling to his knees. The elderly Loquas bowed his head; "I beg your forgiveness, Lord Beerus. My sight is not what it used to be."

Another Loquas approached, a much younger one. This one was mute. He gestured with his hands, making signs in ASL.

"Whis, what is that one doing?"

"That would be sign language. He is introducing himself and apologizing on behalf of his master. He says his name is Divel, and this is his master, the former Guardian of Planet Loqu, Paihmon. He bids us warm welcome. Hm! Warm welcome indeed." Whis said as he fanned himself with his hand.

Beerus squinted as Paihmon rose and stood before him with his servant. It was a squint of suspicion.

"Former Guardian, you say? Mmm... Now that I think about it, you do not possess Godly Ki. Can you sense me?"

"No sir. I cannot. Were you not in front of me, you would be invisible." Paihmon said.

"I see. Well, how does one come to be a "former Guardian" anyway?"

"Well, sir, it is because I was demoted from my position by King Kai."

"Demoted, huh..."

Paihmon nodded. Beside him, Divel began making signs again, and Whis translated.

"He says that since the Guardian of Loqu was demoted, another one was never able to be promoted, as Guardians usually handpick their successors."

"North Kai left you in the dust then."

"Guardians of planets are many. A great deal of them do not actually bother to report to North Kai in the first place. They are simply left to their own devices to oversee their world... Say, if you do not mind me asking, but how is it that you were demoted in the first place?"

Paihmon seemed a bit guilty to admit this. "I was demoted after... the first time I reported to King Kai, sir. Ever since then, I have still remained overseer of the planet, if only by the will of my people."

"Interesting..."

"We have prepared our people's cultural edibles for your sampling within the hall, sirs. May I invite you inside?"

>Now hold it just a minute. What does a Guardian who is still held in high regard by his planet have to do to get demoted instantly by North Kai the moment he bothers to make a report? It's very fishy... (1+ HAKAI)
>Right then. Show us what you got Loquas. Don't care about anything else besides that food, none of our business anyway. (1+ MERCY)

>>6072114
>>Right then. Show us what you got Loquas. Don't care about anything else besides that food, none of our business anyway. (1+ MERCY)
Shin's problem, not ours!

>>6072114
>>Now hold it just a minute. What does a Guardian who is still held in high regard by his planet have to do to get demoted instantly by North Kai the moment he bothers to make a report? It's very fishy... (1+ HAKAI)

>>6072114
>Now hold it just a minute. What does a Guardian who is still held in high regard by his planet have to do to get demoted instantly by North Kai the moment he bothers to make a report? It's very fishy... (1+ HAKAI)
I am curious... CURIOUS, indeed.

>>6072113
>making signs in ASL.
Alien sign language ?
>>6072114
>Now hold it just a minute. What does a Guardian who is still held in high regard by his planet have to do to get demoted instantly by North Kai the moment he bothers to make a report? It's very fishy... (1+ HAKAI)
I'm a curious fella

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"Hold on." Beerus said, stopping the Loquas in their tracks. The two of them glanced back at him, unnerved.

"A deity doesn't get demoted all the time. There's something off about what you've told me. You must have done something to provoke the ire of North Kai. Even though you've been promoted, your people still look up to you. So what is it? What did you tell North Kai?"

"Er... Uhhhur..."

The elderly Loquas held his breath, trying to think of what he should say.

"It is what I did that made King Kai unsatisfied with my position."

"He doesn't usually look down on anything besides outright threatening to destroy a planet or bring terror. What could it be?"

"..."

Paihmon breathed in and exhaled.

"We assist the Planet Trade Organization by supplying their army."

"That's Frieza's Empire then."

"Ughhh! Why is it always Frieza Frieza Frieza! Frieza this, Frieza that..."

"Well," The voice of Shin suddenly came through the air; "I wonder WHY that heartless tyrant is alive and well and still running amok amongst the cosmos freely, even after he almost caused Earth to be destroyed at Broly's hands!"

Beerus grumbled.

"We were never attacked by the Frieza Force. Before that could happen, I intervened and negotiated a deal with the Planet Trade Organization on behalf of the people. I admit, I acted without their consent, but my timely actions are what spared Planet Loqu devastation." Paihmon said, raising his hands, wracked with guilt; "Our planet is ripe with a crystal compound that could be crushed down into a stimulant drug. This drug, once taken, seems to enhance everything. A person's physique, their movement, reaction, thinking, and even control over energy to absurd levels for a time. As you can imagine, the Frieza Force now enjoys plenty of use of it thanks to our exports. In return for supplying them with units, we get to stay independent, and they give us counterfeit funds for the galactic exchange. We use those to... pay our ridiculously high taxes to the Galactic King."

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"That's a lot of explaining I don't really care about."

"Erh... I'll get to the point then, sire. I wasn't sure what to do after the deals were made. I thought there was some way to perhaps find a new solution, so I reported to King Kai and confided in him. When he wasn't able to give me any ideas, I had no choice but to affirm my decision to continue our deal to retain peace. King Kai was dissatisfied and told me I was supporting evil. So I was demoted by him. My lookout fell to the ground then."

"That clears that up then. You should know that corruption among the gods is a rather serious offense nowadays... I seem to recall how such things have had consequences in the past..."

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"Eh, but it doesn't make a difference to me. You'll get your judgment on the Snake Way. For now, let's see if your planet will earn the right to continue to exist or not."

"Follow me please, sir."

Paihmon and Divel led the Destroyer and Whis into the hall of their fallen lookout. The floor was only slightly tilted, since the lookout was sitting in a crater. Barely noticeable, yet apparent looking at the floor ahead.

Beerus closed his eyes a second as he thought. 'Maybe I should destroy Frieza already... it'd be amusing if nothing more to see him try to resist in his arrogant shade of gold he likes to play dress up in... Hmm, maybe.'

He blinked and looked forward. The silent one named Divel was pulling a seat out for him at a table that had been set ahead with a white draping. Sitting down at the table with Whis, he sniffed the air.

"I smell something."

"It is quite a strong smell, isn't it?"

"That would be the smell of our root spice, sires." Paihmon said. He snapped his finger, and Divel went to the side, pulling a cart forward.

The guest hall was lit by wall sconces and natural light pouring in from the opening in the ceiling. It reflected a dull shine off the bronze metal of the square tray that Divel set before Beerus. The manservant lifted the cover, revealing the meal.

"Oooh."

"Now this is an interesting looking dish."

"It is a common dinner that Loquas enjoy, sires. We eat all of our meals with a healthy portion of spice." Paihmon said, motioning towards the orange little mountain contained in a cup shaped like the half of an egg.

"Mm. What are these red things? They look like meat but it looks raw."

"Those are the pan seared breasts of a Lavaloq, sire. Lavaloqs are a mammal with hide so tough, they bathe in magma. We hunt them by striking at the soft throats. The fact is, their meat is always very warm already, but somewhat dry. We make it juicy by soaking it in an extract we get from Cave Lems, a type of citrus fruit. We cook them traditionally by setting the pan on top of hot magma coals."

"And these things?"

"Bread rolls made from plains rye that grows in the non-volcanic wastes. Heavy precipitation is what we have to thank for the rye fields sprouting."

"And this?"

"That is Bloodcheese."

"B-... Bloodcheese...?!"

Paihmon nodded.

"It is also made from Lavaloqs. There aren't many animals on this planet. We have to make due with every part of the Lavaloq. The Bloodcheese is whipped blood with offworld flour, eggs from our planet's birds, and milk. We melt cheese made from dust goats on the mix and cook it in pots."

Beerus pointed at the orange powder, and looked up at the elder.

"Magma spice made from the roots of ashtrees that grow close to our volcanoes. It's very hot."

"..."

"What's wrong, Lord Beerus?"

"I did say I expected these people to make something spicy... but..."

"Come now, you aren't intimidated by a little spicy food, are you?"

"..." Beerus glared at Whis.

The last thing he wanted was a repeat of the wasabi incident...

"If I may... the seared Lavaloq breasts can be consumed without magma spice. Although, the recommended way to enjoy the meal is to cover the juicy breast in the spice, give it a nice orange coat and then eat it. The powdery coat compliments the meat when you chew it."

"I'm sure it tastes good. Why not give it a try and enjoy it the optimal way to eat it, Lord Beerus?"

Beerus growled and stared at the Loquas cultural dish.

>Fine. It can't be too spicy.
>You try it first, Whis!

>>6072260
>Fine. It can't be too spicy.

>>6072260
>You try it first, Whis!
What a fascinating premise for a quest. I'm in!

>>6072260
>>Fine. It can't be too spicy.

>>6072260
>You try it first, Whis!
I normally don't like Beerus but this caught my attention isn't Frieza black by now though?

>>6072260
>Fine. It can't be too spicy.
C'mon, we're a God of Destruction... it'll be fine, surely.

>>6072260
>Fine. It can't be too spicy.

>>6072260
>Fine. It can't be too spicy.
Unless, y'know, it's LITERALLY hot.

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"It can't be anymore spicy than wasabi was for me."

Beerus grabbed the long fork before him on the table. First, he decided to bite into one of the rye rolls. He crunched the bread in his mouth, feeling it crumble from its smooth outer shape into grains that were a little crunchy, just pleasantly so, on his tongue.

"Mm. Very... mm, earthy and crisp."

And then he scooped up a slab of the Bloodcheese, warily looking at how peeled away from the serving with a very stringy composition, lightly tugging on it to free it. It was soft and mushy, like a jam. It was somewhat worrisome to look at, considering it's made with blood. It's not the blood part that disturbs the God, it's the fact they put cheese with it. Blood has a savory flavor, generally speaking. And goat cheese can either be milky or zesty.

"Ahgm... mp-"

Paihmon exchanged a glance with Divel, as Beerus lifted his chin and swallowed.

"It's not stellar..."

"Understandable. Not many that aren't Loquas tend to enjoy Bloodcheese."

"Ehhh, the flavors are just... contrasting one another. The consistency is very rude to my mouth as well. I can take melty cheese but throwing that on whipped blood seems plain wrong. Oh, I forgot to ask, what is this?"

"In the cup? Just water. Normal water, sir."

"Very well. Let's see about this Lavaloq meat then." He said, grabbing the knife to his left and cutting the meat through; "Oh, now that's interesting. The meat seems to be like strips or ribbons, but it's still attached to the softer underside of the breast. It's quite resilient but oozing this juice you cook it in."

Beerus lifted the cut chunk and bit down, sucking at the air on his lips, not missing any of the juice as he chewed on the red meat, speaking in between chews; "Mhf, that's-hnm... quite delectable. It tastes almost like veal-hn-and-.... mhf, is somehow... Grlp! Juicier than it. Bravo."

"...But now comes the moment of truth."

He set the knife down after cutting another chunk of the breast off and grabbed a small spoon set out, and carefully, took off the very top of the Magma Spice. He dumped the orange glitter on top of his chunk, and again and again.

"If I may, you may also rub it into the meat with the bottom of the spoon."

"Right." He did just that, before holding it up to his mouth with his fork; "Let's see what Loquas "spicy" really is. Mmah-hmm!"

Whis anticipated his reaction, he wanted to see this. The Angel watched intently as his charge chewed the meat slathered in spice powder.

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And the reaction was just what Whis was looking forward to!

"MMHN! HNN...!"

"Oh? Lord Beerus, is everything alright?"

"HNGNNN! RRRRNNNNN!"

"I trust the spice isn't too offensive, my lord?" Whis grinned.

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Beerus sprang up, grabbing the water and throwing it down his mouth, he practically absorbed the whole cup in an instant.

...but his mouth and nostrils! Still, they burned!

"GHRMMK! GHHH!"

Paihmon and Divel both looked astonished, and on edge.

"Ouh... Sir, is everything alright?"

Without even needing to be asked, the sign language speaker grabbed a whole jug of water and handed it to Beerus, who snatched it out of his hands and began chugging.

"GBWOUGH! ...Haaahh... haaahhh... hahhh.... hahhh..."

Beerus panted, the redness on his face somewhat cooling off.

"Oh ho ho ho ho!"

"S-Sir..."

Paihmon stepped forward.

"Sir, if I may ask... did you dislike our fiery cultural dinner?"

"L-Let me think!"

Beerus shook his head and wiped the beads of sweat off his brows...

'That Bloodcheese was icky. Too much fatty acid cheese ruining a perfectly good whipped blood batter they could have used to make something better with like say... pancakes. If they had simply left the cheese solid, then I'd have appreciated that as another kind of side, since it's zesty as I predicted. The rye bread was quite earthy, but you could get the same thing from Earth, probably in way more variety. Now, the seared breasts on the other hand were actually good. It's a shame they tarnish such a juicy lump of chewable meat with that powerful powder. I only took a quarter of it, any more and Whis would have to stop me from rampaging! Hmmm...'

>How many stars is Loquas Cultural Dinner?

>>6072312
4, taking into account their resourcefulness with such a limited supply of things to work with. Order Shin to give these people some more lifeforms already! They'll rival Earth in no time if they actually have variety to utilize.

>>6072312
>3.5! I'd be willing to go up to 4 if those spices were... perfected. The bread is fine but that cheese, eeeugh.

>>6072312
Hmm... I'll say...
>4
Because their biodiversity with which to actually make food is abysmal but we did genuinely enjoy most of the meal.

>>6072312
>3.5
Both other anons are right, and maybe we should get them to sell their crystals to the Galactic Patrol instead of the Frieza force

>>6072312
I'd say 3 stars. They fucked up hard on the prepwork for the cheese, and the less said about the spice, the better. Also, are you really going to serve something you know is super spicy, and not provide milk, for the CAT GOD!? I'm tempted to knock it down a star solely for their stupidity in that aspect.
Can't have even more morons running around the galaxy, there's enough already...

Still, the Rye bread is good, if nothing special, the water wasn't pressed through their pores or something, and the unspiced meat is wonderful.

...Also, if I want to be "kind" I guess it'd be hard to stop cheese from melting on a lava world, but still, you'd think they would at least experiment with cooling it down in the wake of Us/You coming around.

Also, I second
>>6072324
the thing on the Galactic Patrol getting the supply of Lava Cocaine from now on.

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"No. In fact I'm rather impressed you've managed to make something I actually found good qualities in, with your limited amount of things to work with. I just can't stand what you do with your cheese, and your spice. Also, I did not forget where you mentioned having milk, and yet still chose to give me water for this meal. I'll be generous and give you a... three and a half stars."

"S... Stars?"

"Oh, it's a rating system of mine. Don't mind it too much."

"So, do you mean to say that...?"

"Yes. I'll spare your planet, Loquas. Here's hoping that you'll improve in the future. You never know if I may visit again."

Paihmon and Divel both breathed a sigh of relief. Like an ocean of weight on their backs just lifted.

Beerus raised his two fingers at himself and opened wide.

"Haaaaaaa-ghhkai."

...Instantly, the redness on his face vanished.

"Hm? Why do I forget I can do that...? Anyways, still, I have to destroy something. That spice was and Bloodcheese was blegh!"

"Urh... W-What do you intend to destroy, sir?"

"Hmm... Your system is surrounded by a small asteroid belt, isn't it? Your planet is safe from asteroids because of the one gas giant you happen to have to absorb it all... Well, former Guardian, I hope you're at least still strong enough to destroy a measly space rock."

"...Huh?"

Beerus snapped his fingers.

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"A shame they don't have more to work with, wouldn't you agree?"

"Hm. Honestly, I'd think many of these races wouldn't lack biodiversity if a certain someone didn't have a lax policy when it comes to creating life, Whis. Those Loquas did what they could in a pinch." Beerus said, viewing the nova of the exploding gas giant below before he placed his hand on Whis' back.

"Onto the next planet then." Whis said before the tap of his staff sent them into his warp.

~~~

>>> SELECT A PLANET TO VISIT
>Planet Bounts
>Planet Algone
>Frieza Clan Rebel Colony G-4
>Planet Ooanmit
>Planet Blubbier
>Nebula 451M5
>Planet Cinndorell
>Planet Salal

>>6072336
>Frieza Clan Rebel Colony G-4
that's what I get for not updating the thread. anyway, time for some ice cream.

>>6072336
>Frieza Clan Rebel Colony G-4
We might as well get this out of the way early on.

>>6072336
>Frieza Clan Rebel Colony G-4

>>6072336
>Frieza Clan Rebel Colony G-4

My opinions is that If it's a rebel colony against Frieza we can go a bit easy on them. If it's Freiza starting up shit we should kidnap the good chefs, (if they have any, I doubt it) then slaughter the rest.

There's only room for one hairless destroyer of planets with purple energy blasts, and that's us, dammit!

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Current points.

Also QM, we're at 2 Hakai and 1 Mercy point so far, right?

>>6072277
In the manga continuity, but we're using anime/Toei continuity for this. I haven't been following the manga since the Moro arc anyway, honestly.

>>6072341
>>6072342
Whoops, sorry about that, shoulda refreshed quicker.

The next planet was cold. For in fact, it was no planet, but the large moon of a gas giant in orbit around a yellow dwarf. The moon was home to a colony of one of the most infamous races in the universe. The rocky and cold grey surface was dotted with tall buildings of shiny metals mined in space, a veritable city standing as a technological marvel upon the surface. The bright neon lights of the astro civilization here gave the moon a pinkish sheen, and some artificial rivers of clear water ran across the surface, all feeding back into the city.

The colony was covered by a big dome of glass, to allow other species beyond the primary ones responsible for the colony to surface on it. A dome that Whis passed through like a ghost, landing in the middle of a plaza surrounded by these white towers of metal.

"We've arrived at the next planet, Lord Beerus."

"...Wait a minute, that architecture... I recognize it."

Realization slapped Beerus in the face.

"Then that means this place belongs to..."

"Welcome!"

Ahead, the metal doors of the largest tower opened, and out came stepping figures of three toes. One small, one tall. With swishing tails waving behind themselves, and armor built onto their bodies. There was no mistaking those familiar bio-suits and that purple skin.

"Frieza's race?!"

"It is an honor!" The shorter of the two delegates said, before taking a knee. He glanced up at his partner, and waved his hand to follow. The larger one sighed and stooped to bow slightly, refusing to kneel. Beerus already did not like that one.

"Ahem..." The shorter one came, standing up and putting a hand over his heart; "We are indeed of the same race as the hated tyrant Emperor name Frieza. We Clansmen here on Colony G-4 of the Rebel faction, however, have no connection to that villain. We, the Rebels, severed our ties to the bigger clan that rules the Planet Trade Organization long ago. I am the leader of the Rebel faction. My name is Consul Criyo."

Criyo gestured up to the larger figure. "And this is my little brother, the chief of security, Rifreejra."

"..." Again, the big one didn't acknowledge their guests, simply standing there with his chest puffed out, as if he were intimidating.

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"Hmm. You call this colony "G-4". Does that mean there are more?"

"Well yes, but also no. Colonies G-1 and G-2 were both unfortunately wiped out long ago by that murderer, Cooler, and the Ginyu Force. Colony G-3 is hidden at the other end of the galaxy, opposite of this one. We all live in the shadows to avoid Frieza and cooperate with the Galactic Patrol."

"Your horns appear to be culled." Whis observed.

"We shave ours down as a symbol of our pacifist ideals. Frieza is usually known for his iconic horns, we who oppose him do not." Criyo said, rubbing the flat end of his horn.

"Frieza, Frieza, Frieza, Frieza, FRIEZA! How many times must I hear his wretched name today?!" Beerus suddenly blurted, to which Criyo winced and Rifreejra snorted.

"Uh-ehhehe.... Distasteful topic, Lord Beerus?"

"I've heard far too much rambling over Frieza today. You tailed dwarfs best have something that's going to soothe my taste buds for having to even come here."

"Watch your tongue, scum!" The tall one suddenly said, bearing a clenched fist.

Beerus leveled his gaze at the buffed up Clansman; "What did you just say?"

"R-RIFREEJRA!" Criyo said, a look of utter horror hiding behind his uneasy and strained smile he maintained; "That's no way to talk to our guest, who is the most powerful being in this universe!"

"I'll believe that when I see it!" Rifreejra said.

"Oh?"

Beerus frowned.

"Listen to me, outsider, we Clansmen of the Rebels have lived a hard life of oppression at the hands of the warlike and tyrannical, constantly hunted to the last for our peaceful ways! This colony's population is only in the hundreds. You are our guest, but be warned, if you dare to threaten us, I WILL face you." Rifreejra said.

"R-R-R-R-Rifreejra's just jumpy, L-Lord Beerus! I swear!" Criyo said, suddenly getting between his little brother and the God of Destruction; "W-We're just all paranoid a-and fearful is all! We've been attacked a lot by Frieza, you see! Ever since news broke of his resurrection! R-Rifreejra means nothing b-by it! I S-ss... S-SWEAR! Please have mercy on him! He knows not what he says!"

Beerus glared at Criyo, and the Frieza Clansman nearly broke then and there into full on sobbing. Whis was so amused right now.

>Clansman of Frieza's Clan, Beerus the Destroyer is a merciful and fair deity. But there is one thing, above all else, that Beerus will absolutely not tolerate in this world, and that is discourtesy, and a lack of tact and respect... (2+ HAKAI)
>Think you take on a God of Destruction, do you? Well, don't waste any time, Rifreejra! (3+ HAKAI!)
>Just this once... I shall let this slide. But the next time this brainless brute opens his mouth, you leave existence. Understood? (+2 MERCY)

>>6072362
>"You talk a big game. I must admit, despite the disrespect, it has me curious about just how strong you really are. Show me that you've got the bite to back up that bark and I might not destroy you if you manage to surprise me."
He's a feisty one. Let's see if he can actually fight. I doubt it, but we can always hakai him if he ends up being a bore.

>>6072362
>Just this once... I shall let this slide. But the next time this brainless brute opens his mouth, you leave existence. Understood? (+2 MERCY)
This idiot is of no more significance to us than an insect posturing at the sun. His only relevance is that he's of Frieza's race, and Frieza is beneath our contempt. He's not important enough to be insulted or challenged by.

>>6072362
>Just this once... I shall let this slide. But the next time this brainless brute opens his mouth, you leave existence. Understood? (+2 MERCY)

>>6072362
>Just this once... I shall let this slide. But the next time this brainless brute opens his mouth, you leave existence. Understood? (+2 MERCY)

>>6072362
>Just this once... I shall let this slide. But the next time this brainless brute opens his mouth, you leave existence. Understood? (+2 MERCY)
>Just bring us the damn food and let me be off this wretched rock.

>>6072362
>Think you take on a God of Destruction, do you? Well, don't waste any time, Rifreejra! (3+ HAKAI!)
We'll take the fiod as spoils of victory.

>>6072362
>Just this once... I shall let this slide. But the next time this brainless brute opens his mouth, you leave existence. Understood? (+2 MERCY)

>>6072362
>Just this once... I shall let this slide. But the next time this brainless brute opens his mouth, you leave existence. Understood? (+2 MERCY)

Man, we REALLY gotta do this stuff more consistently, maybe then we'd get people to pull their heads out of their asses and do this shit properly. At least the Pink Blob had the excuse of not knowing who you were and being a fat slob in general, these guys know that the guy they're rebelling against basically pisses himself at the thought of you fighting him, right? Good (You), we really need to ask the gods in charge of creation why everyone here is so dim-witted.

Maybe these idiots are under the impression that you're only obligated to blow up the planets, and not, y'know, the people along with it since they can survive in a vacuum.

>>6072362
>Just this once... I shall let this slide. But the next time this brainless brute opens his mouth, you leave existence. Understood? (+2 MERCY)

>>6072364
Gonna +1 this even though I know it aint winning, I gotta agree with
>>6072674
General sentiment though what the hell is with the idiocy at display across all these planets? Even preparation as simple as "not bringing your agitator of a brother to a potentially world ending meeting" seems lost on these people.

>>6072747
Freiza's race are sort of notoriously arrogant, bullheaded jerks used to being treated like royalty, so I guess even their rebels come from that tradition.

>>6072374
Bejitabro btw

>>6072921
what was it ?

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"Just this once... I shall let this slide. But the next time this brainless brute-" Beerus said, pointing at Rifreejra; "-opens his mouth, you leave existence. Understood?"

"Why you...!" Rifreejra said, stomping towards Beerus slowly. "How dare you threaten us?!"

"R-Rifreejra! Halt!" Criyo said.

"No brother! No one threatens us peaceful Clansmen and gets away with it! We've done away with the wicked bloodline's malevolence! We don't deserve such treatment! I am as powerful as Frieza is in his final form! I can take this so-called god on!"

Rifreejra came up, invading Beerus' personal space. He was pointing back.

"Who do you think you a- AAAARCH!"

The finger Beerus had not lowered moved up, his claw tracing the air. He simply flicked his finger in that direction, and the brutish Clansman's arm was instantly severed in twain. He cut his arm off from afar with a little Kiai, a basically invisible attack. His eyes never left Criyo as he did it.

"URGH!"

Rifreejra fell to his knees, clutching his severed arm in agony, his reddish-blue blood oozing out of the stump. Myriad gasps were heard from the nearby buildings and towers from spectators at the windows. Criyo was holding his mouth in pause.

"Frost Demon." Beerus said.

He addressed them now with a derogatory term used for their race. A racist remark. Criyo stood at attention, still shivering in horror.

"Understood?"

Criyo nodded slowly, tears welling up at the sides of his cowardly eyes. Beerus lifted his head, still piercing him with a stern gaze and lifted a hand to his ear.

"A-Absolute-l-ly, L-L-Lord B... Be-Beerus." Criyo stammered out.

"Good." Beerus smiled smugly. "Then let us proceed. I'm quite hungry, Frost Demon."

"Right this.... way..." Criyo said, ushering him into the doors ahead as he spared a sideways glance to his brother who had now fainted from the blood loss on the floor.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biwNs6P6bug

Beerus found himself entering an upscale dining room in the colony's administrative complex. He chuckled as that shorty, Criyo, wiped the edges of his eyes with a handkerchief before bowing and motioning to a seat he pulled out using a psychic grip.

"Please be seated, Lord Beerus. I shall fetch our offering right away..."

Beerus sat down, and eased himself up to the table. His ears twitched at the sound of a violin. Gazing right, he saw one of the female Frost Demons there playing one.

"Quite the impression they want to leave. These Frost Demons do enjoy their baroque atmosphere."

"It is natural to a race that has enjoyed galactic hegemony uninterrupted for a very, very long time. It's no surprise to me that even rebels of the race who disagree with how the wider clan treats different peoples too retains their imperial majesty." Whis commented.

"It's intoxicating." Beerus said as he saw Criyo return with two butlers. They sat their tray down on the table, and one by one set before him his meal. He sniffed; "It smells good."

"Thank you." Criyo said, taking it as a good sign. "What you see here is our race's favorite assortment of items from our menu, Lord Beerus. I have heard you have had... a history with Frieza in the past. As you might know from your prior experiences, us Clansmen enjoy a selection of shellfish species we cultivate as foodstuffs."

"I had never bothered to actually try what you Frost Demons consume before. Perhaps Frieza was too scared to invite me to his table."

"Cowardly as every tyrant, my Lord." Criyo said, as if he himself wasn't one.

"Hmm..."

Before Beerus was a plate and bowl of their strange items. The glass of wine was filled with some pink wine, it did remind him of how Frieza often was seen holding a glass such as this. The plate held a hefty serving of some bluish-green meat slathered in a pink sauce, held within its freshly steamed dark blue shell and sprinkled with a garnish. The bowl held these golden patties that were crisp and oozing some darker golden slime.

"So then, what have we here?"

"This is the most common dinner wine of our kind. A Croissœn-de-Chtuuo proper six. It is a fine wine with a tawny aftertaste. This main course is our famed Gliketh Shellfish. The Shellfish in particular is a species that, much like us, can survive in the vacuum. We can cultivate this species nearly anywhere. It's succulent meat is garnished with the leaves of a plant that grows on asteroids via solar energy and our creamy sauce squished from its brain matter."

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"Over here, as a side, we have our golden Silketh crab cakes. Also a species that survives the vacuum, but can live off methane. The meat cakes are soft and squishy but the top is sizzled and grilled to perfection, leaving it crisp and crunchy. Their meat contains a slime they use as a pheromone, and while it is normally inedible, when cooked right it becomes a additive that gives the meat a honeyed taste since it absorbs like a sponge. I am positive you will enjoy it."

"Very well, let us put it to the test."

Beerus was first to grab one of those Silketh crab cakes, throwing the thing into his mouth.

"Hhnom! Mn." He chewed, feeling the soft meat squeeze out its pheromone substance as his teeth ground it. He swallowed, licking his lips; "Oooh. Now that IS pretty good. The soft underside compliments the more cooked top so well with that slime. It has a very honeyed taste that just feels so good in the mouth!"

"May I?" Whis asked, materializing himself a fork.

"Please, help yourself!" Beerus said, grabbing another one of the Silketh cakes.

Over to the side, Criyo smiled, hiding the confusing and painful feelings he had watching the serious deity that had just fatally injured his brother become so nonchalant and cheery over a dish. It was a bizarre flip in mood indeed...

"I say, this gives some things I've tasted on Earth a run for their money. In fact, it's even far lower in fat than Earth crabs are!"

"Now I want to try this big lump of meat. It looks like a huge tail of a shellfish, I bet it's sweet!"

Beerus sliced into the tail meat of the Gliketh with his knife and lifted his cut, stuffing it into his cheek.

"Oh!" He exclaimed, hastily cutting and eating more and more, until half the shell was empty.

The meat was so tender and the taste was delightful!

"It's like a cherry flavored butter over the firmer texture and juicy meat! I do say, it's quite good!" Beerus said before he sipped the wine. He stopped, looking up. "This wine however, it is dreadful. It tastes like chocolate, a darker kind. I don't like it. Did Frieza really drink this all the time?"

"There are some lighter wines. I admit, many of them may look the same until you actually tell the difference through taste." Criyo said.

"I don't have time to see your vineyard, however. This meal has sufficed." Beerus said, standing up.

"What is your final opinion, Lord Beerus?" Criyo asked with optimist anticipation.

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"Hm..."

Beerus began thinking...

'The sheer disrespect I faced from that Frost Demon earlier is unforgivable. It would be highly uncharacteristic of me to forget that! I said I'd let it slide, but then, I only had to mean for the remainder of this visit, didn't I? I said nothing about letting it slide for my final judgment! However, their Frost Demon cuisine had spectacular flavor and texture! I should have forced Frieza to treat me to dinner years ago! Except for the wine. It sucked.'

>How many stars is Frieza Clan Wine and Shellfish?

>>6073006
>How many stars is Frieza Clan Wine and Shellfish?
Four. Just like the fourth season of DBZA, coming never.

>>6073006
3.5
Would have been a 5, but minus a half point for the wine, and another point for the disrespect

>>6073010
Mmmm, it's a cuisine judgement, I'd go for a 4.

>>6073006
>4
Minus one for disrespect.

>>6073006
I'd say at least a 4 is fair. It's clear the wine is an acquired taste, everything else is fantastic, and we're judging on the meal overall.

>>6073006
>4
it's pretty good, even if the wine was lacking

>>6073006
>4
Between the faux-welcoming ambiance and subpar wine, it's not perfect, but it was indeed a fine-dining experience. Easily the best we've enjoyed so far.

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"Your garnish added nothing, to be clear, and I did not like your wine at all. The meal was excellent." Beerus said, patting his tum. But then he narrowed his yellow eyes; "However, while I'd rate it four stars on my scale, your sibling's confrontational attitude did no favors to your moon. I'll delay it this time."

"D-Delay it, Lord Beerus?"

"The destruction, I mean." He said, a tiny speck of his Ki flickering into being on his claw.

"This one's more like a time bomb, set to go off in twenty four hours starting..." He watched as the trace of Ki fell to the floor, sinking right through it and into the moon below; "...now."

"You'd better start evacuating right away. The blast is going to be quite fierce when it goes off." Whis said, summoning his staff.

"O-Of course! Thank you very much for visiting us!" Criyo bowed.

Whis tapped his staff as Beerus leaned against his back, and the two vanishing into blue light. Criyo immediately scrambled and shouted to his comrades to sound the alarms.

"PREPARE THE SHIPS! PREPARE THE MOBILE BUILDING PLATFORMS! G-GET EVERYONE MOVING, NOW! QUICKLY!"

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+2 Mercy Points.
+1 Hakai Point.

Current points.

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Beerus grunted as he thought about something nagging at the back of his mind while Whis few through space.

~~~

>>> SELECT A PLANET TO VISIT
>Planet Bounts
>Planet Algone
>Planet Ooanmit
>Planet Blubbier
>Nebula 451M5
>Planet Cinndorell
>Planet Salal

>>6073040
>Nebula 451M5

>>6073040
>Planet Ooanmit
Perhaps there's some of that uumami flavour everyone raves about here.

>>6073040
>Nebula 451M5

>>6073040
>Planet Algone
funny name

>>6073040
>Planet Cinndorell

>>6073040
>Nebula 451M5
Here's hoping a whole ass Nebula has some variety

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"..."

"Whis, we should spar again some time."

The Angel attendant looked over his shoulder at his charge. He was surprised to hear that, a spark of intrigue in his eyes.

"Really now?"

"Yes. I think I might get rusty if I don't. Do you think if we asked nicely, the Grand Minister would let us use the world of void to let loose at full power? Maybe even rebuild the arena for the tournament so there's something to stand on."

"Hm. Perhaps. Although, father may be content with your current power level as is, so it might take some convincing. If I were to ask Vados to talk to him with me, there's no doubt he would agree, so long as you could bear having Champa there as well."

"Rghh! I'd rather not see his portly self if I'm training. He'll say all kinds of things and we'll get into a fight that distracts me."

"Well, a proper fight against another God of Destruction may be worthwhile. It wouldn't be taboo in the Null Realm. No universes are endangered there." Whis says, looking forward again. "Hmm... But I wonder, what has you so insecure that you feel the need to try growing stronger anyway."

Beerus grumbled and turned around, staring into the back of Whis' head with a frantic frown. "I'm not insecure about anything!"

"Certainly? Hmm... Goku did say Broly might be stronger than you, my lord." Whis teased with a smile.

"Hmph. I'm not worried about that overgrown kid. He has trouble controlling his powers anyway. He still considers Frieza a threat. When he matures and learns how to control that might, he might finally be a challenge for me. Besides, Goku's never seen my full might either, though he's came close. No..."

Beerus crossed his arms. He squinted, his mind wandering onto the image of power he was thinking of.

"...I've seen a summit, Whis."

"Summit?"

"A peak that utterly eclipses me. It's something that froze me solid like ice witnessing it. But now that the shock and trauma has passed, I feel compelled... possessed even, but a new desire brewing within to climb that summit, and stand above it..."

"..."

"...That is all."

"When it comes to training, it is helpful to have a goal in mind, Lord Beerus. What were you thinking of?"

Beerus touched his cheek, and then let let his arm fall to his side. He had a look of confidence in his face as he turned to Whis.

"I want to master Ultra Instinct at last, Whis."

Instantly, the two fell out of their warp, stopping in the middle of the space's cold vacuum. Stars shined in the distance as Whis swiveled and faced Beerus with a serious, appraising look. Beerus held his stance and own serious expression. This was a truly serious matter.

"In all your years, you have not managed to do this. Your emotional state has always thwarted you."

"If Goku can achieve it... I can too."

"Gods of Destruction have trouble for a reason, Beerus." Whis said to provoke him even more.

Beerus managed to resist the urge to feel annoyance. "Then I want to be the first." he instead stated.

Whis faced back in the direction he was headed and tapped his staff. The two of them took off once more in warp flight.

"Then we can try again, and see if this time will finally be the time. But for now, we continue with what we were doing." Whis told him; "We'll arrive any second now."

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"Ah. We're here."

Whis lifted his staff, and the both of them exited the flow of the warp tunnel.

"Arrived at the destination, Lord Beerus."

"This is a nebula."

"Astutely observed."

"No, I mean, this is the middle of a literal nebula, Whis! There's nothing here! It's just a bunch of gas! It smells!"

"Not so fast. This is the right place. You see, Nebula 451M5 is the smallest nebula in the galaxy. It was formed as a supernova remnant from a dying star over sixty million years ago. It's still expanding kilometers every second. It is also populated."

"By what? What could survive these conditions besides Fri... the Frost Demons?"

"Sparksmans."

Beerus raised an eyebrow.

"They are a sedentary and highly eccentric species that normally hangs around stars. But the Sparksmen here are the biggest concentration. In fact, I even believe they're officially signed on with the Galactic Patrol." Whis raised a finger. Then he looked to the right; "And here comes one now."

Beerus rubbed his eyes as what looked like a pure pillar of electricity floated on up to them in the nebula expanse. It was yellow, like a living bolt of lightning, blinking the three eerie eyes it had.

"WELCOME TO NEBULA FOUR FIFTY ONE M-FIVE!" It buzzed. Beerus already found it highly annoying.

"Are you the representative of this worl-... well, Nebula?"

"...?"

"NO. I'M JUST A RANDOM SPARKSMAN."

"..."

"Oh. Excuse me. Are you not the Sparksman Leader? I was sure I informed him of the arrival of Beerus the Destroyer."

"HE'S DISPERSED."

"Dispersed?"

"YEAH. US SPARKSMANS DISPERSE OUR BODIES AT RANDOM PERIODS TO COLLECT GAS AND MATERIAL. OUR ELECTRICAL CURRENTS WILL FLOW IN EVERY DIRECTION, AND EVENTUALLY REVERSE POLARITY BACK TO OUR CENTRAL CORTEX."

"And how long does this take exactly?"

"IN YOUR NON-SPARKSMAN TERMS, IT WOULD USUALLY TAKE A SOLAR CYCLE FOR IT TO FINISH. THERE COULD BE HUNDREDS OF SPARKSMEN ALL AROUND YOU IN A DISPERSED STATE FEEDING RIGHT NOW!"

"Do you think Beerus the Destroyer is going to wait eleven years right here just for your leader to return to tangible shape? I came here expecting to sample the cuisine of an exotic alien culture, NOT STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF A ELECTRICAL PERSON'S GIANT FEEDING TROUGH!"

"WELL YOU CAN JUST EAT NOW."

"What am I supposed to eat exactly?!"

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"WELL, YOU CAN DO WHAT WE DO, AND DRINK THE LIGHTNING THAT THE NEBULA PRODUCES, AND THE SOLAR WIND FROM THE EJECTA'S CENTER."

"You want me to consume the Nebula itself? Are you mad?!"

"YER A GOD, AIN'T YA?"

"Just because I have the express perk of being divinity does not mean I want to eat your dead star.

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"WELL, THERE'S ALSO THESE."

The Sparksman pointed down below. There was something floating in the currents of the nebula's gravity. Fragments of rock... or a planet? Perhaps there were planets that were blown to bits orbiting it when the star that made this nebula underwent supernova. The Sparksman beckoned the duo down towards it. It shocked Beerus to see something actually growing on the fragment.

Fungi. Bio-luminescent fungi.

"And what do you call this? How is this even growing in these harsh conditions?"

"WE NEVER GAVE THEM A NAME. WE JUST CALL THEM SHROOMS. WE SELL THEM TO THE FLESHIES. THEY HAVE TO DECONTAMINATE THEM OF RADIATION BUT THEY SAY THEY TASTE GOOD, ALTHOUGH WE SPARKSMEN CAN'T ACTUALLY EAT THEM."

"If this is all you have then I might as well just destroy you all now."

"WAIT, HOLD ON! DON'T KNOCK IT UNTIL YA TRY IT!"

>No. (1+ HAKAI)
>...Fine. (1+ MERCY)

>>6073173
>...Fine. (1+ MERCY)
gotta taste anything we can and since the only thing mortals have to watchout for is radiation, perhaps this can even be as tasteful as a candy

>>6073173
>...Fine. (1+ MERCY)
>"But I want you to roast it at least. "Cuisine" implies a prepared meal, not just random raw ingredients."

>>6073173
>...Fine. (1+ MERCY)
I really want to see Beerus try to actually eat the nebula

>>6073173
>...Fine. (1+ MERCY)
>"I want you to at least decontaminate it first, put at least a modicum of effort into preserving your continued existence."
We blow them up if they don't have the dignity to do that. If this is how they treat YOU, they are absolutely going to ignore the shit out of the other Kais if they ever need something important, and they won't even smite the sparky shitheads for it, the wet blankets.

Also, a quick meta tangent. Good lord, we probably did them a favor by killing off Rifjeejra if he had any position of importance. He claims to be as strong as Freeza, yet dies from a simple arm loss!?

Like, fuck, Freeza saga Freeza was literally beaten black and blue, exhausted his stamina to the point where he wasn't able to maintain his final form properly anymore, literally cut himself in half, and was still able to talk, simply needing a Chi/Ki boost in order to survive, implying that if cut himself in half at the start he'd be more or less fine. And then even after that, he got fucking blasted into oblivion by a Kamehameha, and was STILL able to be saved without needing Senzu.

There's being arrogant, there's misreading strength, there's pulling a typical early Dragon Ball villain goof of underestimating Goku, there's doing a Cell-saga fuckup, there's doing a typical Vegeta, there's doing a Cell-saga Vegeta, and then there's whatever the fuck we just witnessed, which is so comically stupid, it'd be only comparable if Hercule decided to have a literal deathmatch with Buu all of a sudden.

>>6073186
>He claims to be as strong as Freeza
He may well be as strong as Frieza WAS, but now? Highly unlikely.
The general galactic population is probably unaware of just how much stronger Frieza's become thanks to the fact that he was already lightyears ahead of 99.9999% of sentients.
Funny enough, Rifreejra is probably one of the (relatively) few sentients who would actually be able to perceive Frieza's growth. He's also probably one of the few people that might be able to match Frieza's potential, but I digress.
This implies their rebel colony is either isolated as all hell and out of the loop OR Frieza's yet to show off his true power outside of his spats with the Saiyans of Earth. Or both maybe, who knows?

>>6073173
>...Fine. (1+ MERCY)

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>>6073186
>which is so comically stupid, it'd be only comparable if Hercule decided to have a literal deathmatch with Buu all of a sudden.
Hey, Mr. Satan is a good and honorable teacher! He wouldn't just kill his student that came from another planet to train under him for no reason like that!

>>6073227
Maybe he had some sort of complex about it since his name is kinda close to Freeza's if you think about it...

>>6073173
>...Fine. (1+ MERCY)
Maybe it'll be delicious... maybe...

>>6073186
>>6073177
+1 to requesting the sparkmen prepare it somehow

"Hrrgnnn... Fine."

"AWESOMESAUCE!"

"Is that something you put on these shrooms?"

"OH, NO, IT'S JUST A PHRASE THE GALACTIC PATROL PEOPLE USE. WE KINDA PICK UP THOSE THINGS, Y'KNOW? ANYWAY, THESE MUSHROOMS GROW BECAUSE OF THE COSMIC RAYS OUR NEBULA EXERTS."

"Hold on. Can you at least clear the radioactivity from it first? I don't like the way radiation tastes. It's very... dreary."

"When did you taste something radioactive before?"

"It happened at least in the last thirty thousand years or so, I think about twenty nine thousand years ago. Remember that race of hostile reptilians on that one planet in the southern quadrant? They slipped a miniature nuclear bomb into that soap they gave me thinking it would kill me."

"Oh yes, now I remember. You got so mad that South Kai had to beg you not to destroy his galactic group. Funny you could remember that, but not the Super Saiyan God's legend very well."

"Watch it!"

"OKAY, ALL DONE. I'VE SUCKLED ALL THE RADIATION OUT OF THIS MUSHROOM!"

"Ew, I don't want to put something that's been in your mouth into mine!"

"Now you're just being silly. He doesn't really have a mouth, he's made of pure energy."

"E-EH... ALL I DID WAS MORE OR LESS SINK IT INTO MYSELF!"

"Whatever, just give me the mushroom." Beerus said, reaching down and snatching the one the Sparksman had cleaned up. He threw it back into his mouth, and crunched it. It was hard as a rock.

"WOAH!"

His ears and tail both stood erect, straight as an arrow.

"That's some seriously good stuff!"

"DO YOU REALLY LIKE IT?"

"It's like peanut brittle but it tastes like cotton candy from Earth! Quick, clean some more off for me!"

"If I may..." Whis said, waving his staff.

All radioactivity for a hundred feet was washed away by an unseen aura, and the mushrooms severed at the stems on the patch below, floating up towards Whis' hand. He opened his palm, and used magic to materialize a striped white and red little square bucket, which he gathered the mushrooms into before handing it to Beerus.

"Whis, you're a genius! It's like a new kind of concession stand snack from a theater! Just like that one Bulma took us to!" Beerus said, in the tone of a teenage girl crushing over a male celebrity whilst clutching a magazine featuring his bust.

"Truly." Came Whis, who had one himself; "It's got the pleasant crunch of a hard candy and tastes of a raspberry, vanilla and strawberry mix. Oh my!"

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The Sparksman was flabbergasted at how happy they had both suddenly become. His distended electrical finger was scratching the top of his sizzling head when it hit him! They've become distracted from the very prospect of possibly destroying the Nebula! And it might not be a good idea to remind dear Beerus... and so slowly, he slunk back, and dispersed his electrical currents to distribute himself to the space and disappear.

"I can still feel the taste on my teeth when I lick them! Aha! I'm gonna call it Neblooms from now on since it blooms only in Nebulae!"

>How many stars is Neblooms?

>>6073261
>4 Stars. If they can get this stuff into the hands of a real chef down the line, it might just stand on even footing with Earth's confections.

>>6073261
>5 Stars! Produce more, NOW!

>>6073261
>5 Stars

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"Aha! Five stars! Five stars for sure!"

"So it's Earth tier then?"

"Hm. Well, if you told me it came from Earth I would have believed you. It's a good snack to be sure but I still have yet to see a planet out there that truly rivals Earth."

"I think I'll take the rest of these and store them for later. Since they're almost like hard candy, they shouldn't go bad. Maybe for once I can bring Bulma and the others a treat and not the other way around." Whis said, twirling his finger to shuffle a number of the Neblooms into a pocket dimension.

"Hm. Where did that talking lightning bolt go? Never matter. I'll spare this nebula. It earned it. Now, Whis."

"Off we go!"

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Extra MERCY point earned for successful five star review.

~~~

>>> SELECT A PLANET TO VISIT
>Planet Bounts
>Planet Algone
>Planet Ooanmit
>Planet Blubbier
>Planet Cinndorell
>Planet Salal

>>6073291
>Planet Salal

>>6073291
>Planet Salal

>>6073291
>Planet Salal

>>6073141
>daring to stand against Jiren
Folly, reckless folly!

>>6073291
>Planet Salal
These aliens have been interesting so far.

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As Beerus and Whis traveled, somewhere across Universe 7...

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...they felt a gigantic power suddenly flare up out of nowhere with brevity for the quickest of seconds.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jH1QLtYRLIo

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"Whis... did you feel that?" Beerus said over his shoulder, curious and concerned.

"Quite. I did feel that. That was very odd now, wasn't it?"

"What was that, Whis? That power just now I sensed... it felt familiar somehow. It was like another me just decided to use fifty percent out of nowhere."

"Well, it was quite easy to sense. I'm sure most beings able to in the universe would have. It was not Godly Ki, that much is for sure."

"Was it that Broly? The one training on my planet with Goku and Vegeta right now? Did he lose control again?! Or was it that boy of Goku's. I did hear he unlocked some crazy power of his own recently. You even told me it would pose a very good challenge to myself."

"I'm positive that wasn't Gohan just now. Unless Earth is under attack again, which I'm fairly certain it's not, he wouldn't have a reason to just power up out of nowhere. Not even for training, it would well put Earth in danger. Let me check in with the boys." Whis said, looking closer into the orb that levitated on his staff.

"Boys! Oh, boys! Can you hear me! Whis calling in, please pick up the phone if you don't mind! It's very important."

And not a moment later...

"KAKAROT! YOU IDIOT! I TOLD YOU NOT TO PROVOKE HIM TOO MUCH!"

"H-Hey! I was sure it was safer up there! Come on, Vegeta, you can't blame me for thinking that way! Besides, you were fine with it too before that! Yo, Broly! Deep breathes! Come on, big guy, let's settle down a bit!"

"Hgnnn! I'm... I'm okay..."

"Careful Broly, you don't need to overthink it too much! You're doing great!"

"Yeah, what Cheelai said! You're getting better and better with it all every time you try!"

"Ahem. Goku..." Whis started again.

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"Eheh?! Oh! Whis! H-Hi! How's it going!" Goku replied, as casual as can be.

"All is well but I think you know why I'm calling at this time..."

"Ehehehe... Whatever do you mean? Ahaha!"

"Goku, was that thing I felt just now you having Broly go off again?"

"I swear, I didn't push him too much! I just wanted to see if he was ready to handle the next increase was all! So I thought it would be a good idea to bring him to one of those other planets orbiting Lord Beerus's and well, ahahaha! I didn't expect him to suddenly blow it up!" Goku said, rubbing the back of his still blue hair.

"Hmm...." Whis said, looking sternly at his face through the orb.

"W-We're sorry for the damages, mister Whis!" Cheelai chimed in, covering for Broly, who was sitting down and looking a bit sad in the background; "We'll do anything we can to make up for it. I'll have Lemo cooking day and night if it makes it any better! Just please forgive Broly this time, it was the first slip up he had in a while training, honestly!"

"Oh, no, I'm not even annoyed by anything, rest assured. I'm glad you've come clean at least."

"Uh, please don't tell Lord Beerus, Whis. There's no telling how mad he'll be if he finds out!" Goku said.

"Now, asking me to cover for you is another matter on its own, Goku." Whis scolded.

"Cover for what?" Beerus asked, leaning in; "Goku! What did you do this time poking that bear? Did you blow another whole in my residence?!"

"Oh! No! Not at all, Lord Beerus! But, hey! I have a question for you!"

"What?"

"Hypothetically speaking, if someone other than you happened to blow up one of those decorative planets or moons you keep around, how would you punish them?"

"Well, first of all, if they're staying on my planet in my good graces, THEY'RE GETTING EVICTED ASAP! Second of all, THEY'RE GONNA REPLACE IT! AND I DON'T CARE HOW IT GETS DONE EITHER!"

"R-Replace a whole planet?!"

"Bit by bit or by using your Dragon Balls. It will be done or someone's getting a smacking, you hear?"

"G-Got it!"

"Now, thirdly, my question for you. Was that explosion of power across the cosmos just now your lot's doing?"

"Eh? No? I don't think so... I did feel something pretty frightening when Broly when off a moment ago... but it must have resonated through every dimension in existence! I think it might even have been felt in the afterlife and Supreme Kai's place! I was actually about to ask the same thing, if that was you."

"..."

"..."

Beerus and Whis looked at each other.

"Huh? Hey? What's up, you guys?" Goku tilted his head.

"Nothing, Goku. For now, continue your training and be ready to respond if I should call again. Whis out."

And the image of Goku and his friends faded from the orb.

"So it wasn't Broly either..."

"Whatever it was... it's out there. It made its presence known, and then powered down, as if to go into hiding."

"Damn. Now I'm getting interested. If there's a powerful fighter out there I've never met, I might just have to cancel work to go introduce myself. But only if it happens again. For now, we continue as normal." Beerus said, feeling himself getting somewhat worked up.

"As you please. Our arrival to Planet Salal is imminent."

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Elsewhere in the Universe...

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...

"Heheeeheh! The time draws near. My Absolute Armor is finally complete and overclocked. All that's left to do is activate my instrument and execute the plan for revenge. Hahahaha... finally, I've waited so, so long... a million years! I won't wait a million more! Mark my words, Beerus the Destroyer! Soon, you shall taste the bitter taste of revenge for what you did to my homeworld! Hahahahahaha! I can't wait to see you suffer and DIE for your SIN!"

A old madman laughed to himself on his isolated world hanging in the fringe outside of the galaxy itself.

...

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Planet Salal.

A watery world inhabited by many diverse species of aquatic creatures. The world is exactly ninety nine percent water, land is the rarest thing on the surface, and the largest island is only ten thousand square miles. It is home to a vicious and savage people known as the Salalians, who proudly call themselves the "Leviathan people".

They have been recruited in droves by the Frieza Force specifically because of their brutality and preference for tools over usage of Ki. Whilst many can master Ki enough to fly, they excel at their use and love of weaponry above all.

The planet is especially renowned, or rather, infamous for its harsh judicial systems and constant infighting between tribes.

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"Mighty Beerus," Chief Mokar, head of the largest Salalians tribe, the Hegemons, said; "-you strike me as a person of very refined tastes."

"I might be."

"Then if you do not mind, I had prepared a little something else before we feed you. A verse of Salalian philosophy"

"I did not come here to read."

"You are mistaken, Mighty One. I shall have my son, this prince you see here, recite the verse we selected for you. It is the foundation of our Leviathan pride and philosophy. What you might sum up the Salalian people as in one sentence."

"Hmmrrr..."

The Salalian wielding his spear bowed. Chief Mokar's son, Ulnul.

"It would be my honor to entertain a god, Mighty One."

>There is no time for waxing the worthless philosophy of savages with spears in a big lake. Food, or death. Make your choice but another word about philosophy won't be heard. (1+ HAKAI}
>As long as it's entertaining as you say and not boring as philosophical literature tends to be! Speak, but if it bores me, the fishy with the spear shall be filleted for me with a dash of tartar on the side. (1+ MERCY)

>>6073403
>As long as it's entertaining as you say and not boring as philosophical literature tends to be! Speak, but if it bores me, the fishy with the spear shall be filleted for me with a dash of tartar on the side. (1+ MERCY)

>>6073403
>As long as it's entertaining as you say and not boring as philosophical literature tends to be! Speak, but if it bores me, the fishy with the spear shall be filleted for me with a dash of tartar on the side. (1+ MERCY)

>>6073383
The Machine Mutant guy from GT?

>>6073403
>There is no time for waxing the worthless philosophy of savages with spears in a big lake. Food, or death. Make your choice but another word about philosophy won't be heard. (1+ HAKAI}
I know you haven't done write-ins but can we have Whis teleport us to Frieza and rip his tail off? Just a little something to punish him for all of these shitty planets he rules/ruled over.

>>6073403
>As long as it's entertaining as you say and not boring as philosophical literature tends to be! Speak, but if it bores me, the fishy with the spear shall be filleted for me with a dash of tartar on the side. (1+ MERCY)
Eh? More ambiance seldom hurts.

This is a very interesting and funny premise for a quest. I'm into it.
>>6073403
>As long as it's entertaining as you say and not boring as philosophical literature tends to be! Speak, but if it bores me, the fishy with the spear shall be filleted for me with a dash of tartar on the side. (1+ MERCY)
Crazy how this is the first planet to offer decent service. When all is said and done we need to remind the universe what we really are. Ingesting excreted mucus, dangerously spicy "food", hearing lip from a fr*st demon, and the last guy didn't offer to CLEAN the food he was giving to us, we had to ask first! A God of Destruction should not put up with this.

>>6073454
>As long as it's entertaining as you say and not boring as philosophical literature tends to be! Speak, but if it bores me, the fishy with the spear shall be filleted for me with a dash of tartar on the side. (1+ MERCY)
In that last guys defense he was effectively just some random fellow on the street we made serve food to us not surprising to me it didn't cross his mind.

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>>6073416
>Working on your next evil intergalactic destroying plan
>Suddenly the god of death teleports in
>Rips your tail off before you can even stutter a word
>Leaves
He would be so goddamn confused.

>>6073403
>As long as it's entertaining as you say and not boring as philosophical literature tends to be! Speak, but if it bores me, the fishy with the spear shall be filleted for me with a dash of tartar on the side. (1+ MERCY)

>>6073403
>>As long as it's entertaining as you say and not boring as philosophical literature tends to be! Speak, but if it bores me, the fishy with the spear shall be filleted for me with a dash of tartar on the side. (1+ MERCY)

>>6073403
>As long as it's entertaining as you say and not boring as philosophical literature tends to be! Speak, but if it bores me, the fishy with the spear shall be filleted for me with a dash of tartar on the side. (1+ MERCY)

If some crap comes out of their beaks about being proud and independent or some shit, mercilessly mock them for taking up the role of Freeza's attack dogs once he got too paranoid and wiped out the Saiyans. Hell, it's even more pathetic, since these guys using weapons over Ki is clearly a factor in why Freeza chose them, no hidden super forms unless they've got another super ancient lost mystical spear with a name that aged really bad.

Are we actually okay with eating them? I know Vegeta used to eat people he killed but I'm not sure about Beerus.

Is frost demon really a slur ? I thought that was their species' name
>>6073403
>As long as it's entertaining as you say and not boring as philosophical literature tends to be! Speak, but if it bores me, the fishy with the spear shall be filleted for me with a dash of tartar on the side. (1+ MERCY)

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>>6073416
Leave Frieza alone! He's doing the best he can you guys!

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>>6073763
Fiiiiiiiiine. Broly already humbled him pretty recently anyways.

"If it doesn't bore me, then proceed. If it does, I'll make you into seafood."

Both Salalians... smiled. They had toothy grins of glee on their faces when the God of Destruction said that, rather than fear. The spear wielder, Ulnul, raised a scroll made of a thick type of seaweed native to the planet and let the leaf of it unfurl. They wrote down their words in an ink that didn't fade from water exposure. Their language was compact, the letters so small that they could fit in twice as many words in a single sentence than what the Earthlings spoke.

"The Salalian way of life is as old as the sun in the sky." Ulnul began, before looking down at the page; "We follow the Sacrament of Survival. The Leviathan philosophy. The means through which nothing is wasted."

"In this world, we confront a cruel truth in a battle we all have early in our lives. That truth is that survival, from the start, or in its advanced stages, always stems from the cost of others. This is no battle to be won. Instead, the Leviathan makes peace with this truth, and gains a new ally. In this knowledge, the Leviathan discards malice and enlightens himself upon the necessity of life and its cyclic nature. It is not the same as the strong devouring the weak, it is those who would survive longer finding necessity in devouring those who would not."

"Wait a moment. Are you telling me your culture's entire philosophy is the promotion of cannibalism?"

Chief Mokar nodded.

"Indeed, Mighty Beerus. Though, we prefer the use of the term "absorption". It is natural to make unto life, sustenance. Denying this principle is inviting extinction and stupidity. Life is transmigrated by nature into a circle, a great cycle, and we must assist it."

Ulnul raised his spear in praise. "Tis' true! By consuming the flesh of our fallen brethren, our dead relatives, our enemies, we absorb their strength, their will to live, and their very essence. We become one with them, united in the shared experience of existence. Life feeds life, and when we die, we too will be consumed by the next to go on in our stead! The Leviathan people do not just practice absorption on our own species. We even eat others out there among the stars! The Sacrament is not limited by species, it does not discriminate! Even if there are aliens, all life is life in the great cycle! Huhahaha!"

"And I suppose you intended to feed me members of your own race after you'd chopped them up for me then, is that right?"

"Yes. Our tribe punished a lawbreaker in these parts recently. Although, we already consumed him, his family by extension were deemed unworthy and we prepared them for you." Mokar admits.

"Our kind has found many ways to consume each other. For this occasion, we prepared a specialty. Salalian Steak made from their younger, more tender meat." Ulnul says.

"The Sacrament is not malicious. It is neither good nor evil. It is not done out of malevolence. It is done to support life. Is there anything more noble than ensuring that life will go on forever?" Chief Mokar asked aloud.

"It is no different than how we consume animals." Ulnul added; "One must not let it hang on their soul if who they consume is highly intelligent or not."

"..."

Beerus was somewhat unnerved. He had often threatened to consume actual people before in his years, traveling across the universe. Heck, when he saw that one pig man on Earth, he saw him as bacon briefly, before he challenged him to Rock, Paper, Scissors.

But to have cannibalism on a systematic scale, and to even go as far as spreading it across it the cosmos... This was one species that the Supreme Kai would honestly be all for destroying, for once. Justifying their putrid acts under a veil of "survival" and jargon about a vague meaning to "life"...

Even Whis looked like he would rather not be here now. He had a suspicious glare he'd been giving the Salalians ever since arriving, in fact...

>You are not worthy of these cosmos, Salalians. (1+ HAKAI)
>Very well. Enough philosophy. Show me these "steaks". (1+ HAKAI)

>>6073784
>>You are not worthy of these cosmos, Salalians. (1+ HAKAI)

>>6073763
>Leave Frieza alone! He's doing the best he can you guys!
It's not about how he's doing, it's about what he's done. Let's rip his tail off and never mention it to him ever again.

>>6073784
>You are not worthy of these cosmos, Salalians. (1+ HAKAI)
If it was just the criminal or a defeated enemy, sure, but they want us to eat a baby.

Again, let's rip Frieza's tail off for this. Actually, it would be poetic to bring Buu here to turn them all into candy, but I don't think he does that anymore?

>>6073784
May be controversial, I don't care that much about the cannibalism.

It's the whole "sins of your forefathers" and "killing literal babies" shit that they've got going on that whacks em right over into smite territory.

If it was actually "yeah we just eat everything circle of life" and a baby just happened to die from eating too many peanuts I'd at least wait to see how they were preparing it, but yeah...

>You are not worthy of these cosmos, Salalians. (1+ HAKAI)

Also, can we ask the other Kais what the fuck they're doing around here? I mean, this is your job, but at the same time, the fuck?

>>6073784
>>You are not worthy of these cosmos, Salalians. (1+ HAKAI)
NUKE THEM

>>6073784
>You are not worthy of these cosmos, Salalians. (1+ HAKAI)
The mass consumption of conscious beings is contrary to cohesive civilization.

>>6073784
>his family by extension were deemed unworthy and we prepared them for you
That's what makes these fucks barbarians.

>You are not worthy of these cosmos, Salalians. (1+ HAKAI)
Let's not be hypocrites, Beerus's pride won't allow it. Spare the infants young enough to avoid indoctrination and scatter them across the universe Primarch style, in groups just large enough to avoid inbreeding.

>>6073784
>You are not worthy of these cosmos, Salalians. (1+ HAKAI)
sarabada

>>6073856
I'm pretty sure we're already well beyond the billions in terms of infants killed, we're more of a preventative measure to prevent theoretical future infants from getting hurt.

No harm in doing this if we can though, I guess.

>>6073856
>>6073868
Nah, blaze 'em all. Beerus is Universe 7's God of Destruction and Total Destruction is his Omni King ordained duty. The afterlife exists in DBZ so the kids'll be fine anyway. He's already destroyed several planets' worth of them, no reason to start preserving them now.

>>6073784
>You are not worthy of these cosmos, Salalians. (1+ HAKAI)
Absolutely not. Consuming sapient beings, sure, we probably did it once or twice between the countless destructions of them. But these fuckers literally EAT babies, and they intend to spread their disgusting way of life towards the cosmos. Mass consumption of species with higher functioning means a lower mortal level for us. We ate mucus today, and I'd rather not cross that line again. Seriously though, fucking babies? What the fuck? Fuck that. Push the Nuke Button NOW.

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"You know what? I've made my judgment already. Your kind is not worthy of the cosmos."

"Hmhm. Because you disagree with our philosophy?" Chief Mokar spoke up.

Neither of them flinched, even though they knew what was coming.

"It's junk. Pure junk. And you want to go out and spread it among MY universe, culling other races when I in fact seek to raise the level of mortals universally. I'm afraid your teachings end here. I haven't had qualms in the past about having sapient lifeforms cooked for their insolence... but the past is the past, and you're taking it to a whole new level that ticks me off. You actually expect me to devour your kind's children..."

"Hahahahaha. You fail to realize that you yourself are proof of our way of life, Mighty One. You eat as you please, and destroy whatever you don't like. Life dies to support your own, even if you are a dead end who has not created anymore life. Hahahaha! Do what you will. Our kind has already been spread to other worlds. We will continue the philosophy."

"Enough of your blabbering."

Beerus blasted the ground with a ray of burning Ki.

>>6073923
I do not agree with them but I can see their logic and at least they aren't hypocrites, but yeah this is for the best

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"That's taken care of."

"They talked a big game and stared down their end fearlessly, but I'm not sure the Salalians left elsewhere in the galaxy will have it easy. If their homeworld is gone, they'll certainly dwindle wherever they try to bring their barbaric way of life."

"For once, I feel as though this is a destruction that East Supreme Kai won't take much issue with."

"For once, you're right." Shin said through his telepathic channel; "I'll certainly a blind eye to this. It seems Beerus the Destroyer has a heart after all. Earth's rubbed off on you, hasn't it?"

"Watch it! Nobody's influenced me..."

"I don't know, you seemed awfully protective over baby Bulla the few times you've held her on Earth."

"That's just common courtesy for an acquaintance of ours Whis! I haven't softened up a bit!"

"Hohoho. As you say, my lord."

"The galaxy won't be missing these Salalians. Hopefully, when I replace their planet I can raise something more peaceful in their place. Here's hoping more of them went to Heaven than Hell after that explosion." Shin remarked.

"Makes no difference to me. Whis, we're off."

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Current points.

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~~~

>>> SELECT A PLANET TO VISIT
>Planet Bounts
>Planet Algone
>Planet Ooanmit
>Planet Blubbier
>Planet Cinndorell

>>6073931
Hmmmm...
>Planet Bountis
Sounds like the least horrible place. It sounds like "bounty", which probably means its a rich planet, which probably means there's good and expensive food there.

>>6073931
>Planet Bounts
Anon's logic is sound

>>6073931
Well that was fucking depressing.

>Planet Bounts
Bounts, Bouncy? Fun?
Bounts, Bounty, Exotic beasts across the galaxy?

Hey, quick question, what do you guys think we should do if a leader willingly sacrifces himself to be cooked for us to consume them cause they got fuck-all else in terms of good food? Like, on one hand, that shows self-sacrifice and all that hippie crap. On the other hand, holy shit, if that's the best you can do, I don't want to imagine what you normally eat.

>>6073931
>Planet Blubbier

>>6073931
>Planet Bounts

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On Planet Bounts, Beerus could have encountered anything. He could have come across a fierce warrior race ready to fight him no matter the odds. Gigantic monsters that ruthlessly attack whatever they see. Dinosaurs. The Frieza Force. Or more strange aliens that pique his interest or fuel his anger.

He did not expect to find a race he thought was...

"...k-kind of cute..."

"I beg your pardon, Lord Beerus."

"N-Nothing... just continue flying." Beerus said.

He and Whis were floating downwards towards a... fantastical and whimsical city of stone. It was like something out of a fairy tale. And the race below was greeting him with waving hands and shouts, saying "Welcome!" to the god. For Planet Bounts was home to the kind and cheerful Bunyim, a relaxed bunch of lagomorphs. The planet was a holding of the Galactic Patrol, and under its constant watch, protection and vigilance!

Beerus landed in the middle of a palace courtyard. He looked around, seeing the setting they chose was a royal garden, decked with many bright and aromatic flowers. A simple round table with chairs that had this charming heart shape was behind him. A row of Bunyim sounded bugles.

"Beerus, the legendary God of Destruction, has arrived!" A blue alien of the Galactic Patrol announced. He then motioned towards the doors of the palace, being opened by the fleet of maids to his right; "Please welcome now, our noble and righteous Queen of all Bunyim, Lady protector of the realms of Bounts, her royal majesty, Queen Acerola!"

Again, those bugles were blown, and a proper lady picked up the hems of her dress as she stepped forward to meet Beerus. A fanciful little white rabbit wearing a crown.

"Lord Beerus," She greeted, royalty herself bowing to him as was customary; "-so pleased to finally make your acquaintance. All my preparations were finished just in time! I'm absolutely delighted to be able to say I am having a deity in the flesh over for dinner! Hhmhm!"

Beerus was honestly... having trouble finding the words. He had never... had a planet welcome him so openly, with so much applause. Even knowing what he was and here to do! And he swears, for a second when that crowned little bunny lifted her head from the bow, she winked at him.

"U-Uhmmm... Y-Yes... well..."

"Oh my! I thought I felt a sense of deja vu. I remember now." Whis suddenly spoke up.

"R-Remember what?"

"I had a feeling I saw Bunyim before. I just remembered, they also exist in the sixth universe. I saw some when I was training under sister Vados. Funny, I even remember there being a God of Destruction trainee in another of those universes that actually was a Bunyim herself. Saria, if I'm not mistaken."

"Y-You mean one of these things managed to reach that level of power?!"

"Ohhh!" The Queen suddenly squee'd; "That's wonderful to hear! It's so heartwarming to know that my kind have reached such heights! To think that one of us is near Lord Beerus's level is something else! It must take a truly dignified heart to ascend to godhood! I'm sure she's very nice just like Lord Beerus. You seem like a very good person, my Lord!"

"I-"

"Oh please, let us be seated! This is a special occasion and it's our job to make sure you are relaxed!" Queen Acerola said, suddenly reaching out and gently taking Beerus' hand. He felt his heart skip a beat as she led him towards the table to be seated!

"Oh ho ho ho! How hospitable! Don't mind if I do." Whis giggled.

Beerus sat down across from the Queen, Whis enjoying every moment of this as she picked up a little chime and rang it.

"Tea please!"

And so the refreshments started as they prepared to bring out the main course. Whis was sipping happily at his cup whilst Beerus winced when he saw that Queen just smiling at him. It took all the power of his facial muscles to force a natural smile right back.

'D... Damn it! Why did they have to be so cute...?! This.... This is a planet I may actually not want to destroy, even if their food is trash!' He shouted in his mind.

"Lord Beerus, it is such a nice opportunity to have you. Though, I must admit, I had prepared to ask you for a boon whilst the food was still underway. I had thought you would arrive sooner, but you were right on time as my chef informed me it was done, so I would hazard an informality as to ask you now quickly before it arrives, good sir."

"W-... What would that be, ex... actly?"

"I truly adore my people, Lord Beerus. And above all else, I wish for nothing more than to see them safe and sound at the end of the day. So I might ask of thee, if you should choose to destroy our planet, won't you consider waiting just long enough until our allies in the Galactic Patrol have evacuated it completely? It would be such a shame if anyone were to die, my Lord. Oh, won't you please consider it?"

"Well, I..."

"Excuse me for a second. But the God of Destruction is not supposed to take bribes when doing his job." Shin suddenly piped up over the telepathic wavelength.

Oh! That smarmy little Kai! He's definitely rubbing it in, just like Whis is! First, that incident with the Salalians, and now these cute, fuzzy little creatures...! How dare they! This is an outrage! And the worst part, they're right! What if the Grand Minister found out Beerus the Destroyer was playing favorites outside his judgment!? There would be harsh punishments to endure!

>It... I-It's not in my position to ac-accept requests from m-mmh-mortals! As much as a p-pity as it would be, I cannot accept this. Whether you pass or not is up to the judgment and judgment alone! (3+ HAKAI)
>Of course I'll consider it for such adorable little creatures like you Bunyim! That's right! (2+ ???)

>>6074013
>It... I-It's not in my position to ac-accept requests from m-mmh-mortals! As much as a p-pity as it would be, I cannot accept this. Whether you pass or not is up to the judgment and judgment alone! (3+ HAKAI)
We... we cannot allow corruption. We must be absolute and unerring in our judgement.

>>6074013
>It... I-It's not in my position to ac-accept requests from m-mmh-mortals! As much as a p-pity as it would be, I cannot accept this. Whether you pass or not is up to the judgment and judgment alone! (3+ HAKAI)
we have a reputation to hold, fuck. I'm taking that anon's idea and make it so we teleport to the kai, kick his ass and leave.

>>6074013
>Of course I'll consider it for such adorable little creatures like you Bunyim! That's right! (2+ ???)
They let universe 9 exist, I think sparing the planet of adorable little rabbits that are clearly collaborating with the galactic patrol and everything isn't a big deal. Also I seriously doubt "I didn't judge them solely based on their food for once" is going to sound like a bad thing to the Grand Minister.

...Zeno will definitely fun of us for having cooties if he finds out though.

>>6074037
ALSO! We are not "taking bribes!" We have are not going to take anything of material worth with us when we leave save for the food in our stomachs! Therefore, it's impossible for a bribe to have happened!

...That logic checks out, right?

>>6074012
>Of course I'll consider it for such adorable little creatures like you Bunyim! That's right! (2+ ???)
If this weren't a one shot, I'd pick the other one but shenanigans!

>>6074013
>Of course I'll consider it for such adorable little creatures like you Bunyim! That's right! (2+ ???)
Hey, hey, don't give us that look. This is the first planet to actually give a damn about being hospitable, and they're pulling their weight in the galactic community. It's not that we find them adorable or a-anything, morons!

ROFL. I usually don't read fandom quests but this one is fun and I'm having a blast reading.

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"Pah! Of course I would consider it, for such exemplary and polite hosts!"

1+ Mercy Point.
1+ Hakai Point.

"Oh my."

Queen Acerola put her hands together and squealed in delight. It was making Beerus' cheeks as hot as the Sphere of Destruction!

"Excelsior! Truly Excelsior! This moment marks Bunyim history and the highest point of my political career! Oh thank you thank you thank you thank you! Thank you so much, Lord Beerus! For a God of Destruction, you are surely one of the nicest and most wholesome people I've ever seen!" She fawned, giggled and her ears even danced inside her crown.

And then she blew a kiss.

"UWAAAAA-!!!!"

Beerus fell back, blood spraying from his nose.

"Oh dear!"

"My my, tastes as basic as ever." Whis said as he drank his tea.

"Urf..."

"Oh, it looks like our royal cook has arrived, Lord Beerus!"

The God of Destruction quickly corrected himself in his seat at the table and looked up to the eccentric chef that came hither, pulling a tray with many a dish upon it behind herself as she bounced forward just slightly. So lively, she grabbed a tray up on one hand and span around without dropping it, striking a charismatic bunny ear fingers pose.

"Saaaalutations! I'm Chef Huckleberry and I'm pleased to be your server for today! Desu ne!"

"UWAAAAA-!!!!"

BOOM!

He fell back again, nosebleed gushing.

"...Very basic indeed." Whis said, looking down at him.

"A-hrump!" Beerus shot back upwards; "Much appreciated! Tell me, what delectable items have I to look forward to at this hour, Chef?"

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"Weeelllll...." Chef Huckleberry breathed in.

"I've cooked up a nice, steaming Carrot, mushroom and chickpea wellington loaf for a healthy, low fat, vegan excellence as our centerpiece!" She said, setting down the trays and lifting their covers one by one; "And on the side I've got a fat stack of carrot and celery dipping sticks for this DEEEE-lishious homemade roasted carrot hummus! Ahuhuhm! And if that doesn't fill your tank up, please enjoy this exciting pan of garnished roasted carrots glazed with our planet's natural honey and a serving of creamy carrot thyme soup! And to top it all off, you can enjoy dessert last with this frosted carrot cake and JUMBO sized carrot-banana muffins!"

Chef Huckleberry was out of breath. She panted fast, trying to regain her breath.

"Oh, it all looks so nicely made! Don't mind if I do!" Whis said, tying a napkin around his neck as he went instantly for a fluffy muffin to have with his spot of tea.

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'...I should have expected it was all going to be carrot oriented...'

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And so, Lord Beerus had a meal with his most amiable (and unintentionally flirtatious...) hosts yet, one that he thoroughly enjoyed! There was just one problem.

'It's all damn carrots! What can I even say? It's like a stereotype itself manifest in tangible reality. Carrot soup, carrot cake, carrot muffin. HFIL, she somehow managed to make a wellington with no meat, only carrots and other things! The meat, well, lack of it, is the worst part! How is a god supposed to enjoy a meatless meal?! I don't have these fangs for nothing... But, it was the healthiest meal I've had so far, and there's nothing wrong with being healthy. Extremely low levels of fat, basically nonexistent. Vegan even. Hmm... I can't give them an obviously biased rating just because they're darn cute. Whis will jab me again if I just go for five stars. But then again, it's MY choice, MY judgment, isn't it?'

>How many stars is the Royal Bunyim Banquet?

>>6074239
I mean, it tastes alright, but there's no damn variety. It was the healthiest thing we had so far and it didn't taste bad at all, but still, no meat or anything. Their service was nice, but a bit overwhelming. It isn't Earth tier, but...

>4 stars

If they had shit that wasn't carrots, something that EXCITED our taste buds the way Earth did, then they would have a perfect score. But they did show us the respect and dedication a deity of our caliber deserves unlike other planets, and they're not wastes of space like those mucus-y toad things or those barbaric baby-eating savages. I don't see a good reason to destroy them either. But there's something about them that feels manipulative. We're going to have to sack a nearby asteroid belt or blow up a moon to keep them honest. And to save face too.

>>6074239
>>6074253 +1

>>6074253
+1, agreed.

>>6074239
>How many stars is the Royal Bunyim Banquet?
3, only because of the hospitality.

>>6074239
4.5, because health is an important factor when considering meals. Something that a certain brother of ours DOESN'T understand!
Still, Carrots alone do not make a healthy meal. Diversity in nutrients is important when you're trying to take care of your body.
Half a star added because of the sheer ingenuity in diversifying so many dishes with carrots alone. It's honestly a feat in and of itself.

>>6074239
>>6074253
Seconded. Everything appears healthy and well made, even if it is monotonous. They were also more respectful than the rebel planet we visited, so any destruction we deal shouldn't be as severe as theirs.

>>6074234
Saved in my reaction image folder.

>>6074239
4. 4 for quality, -1 for lack of variety (and meat!), and +1 for... Ambience.

>>6074239
I'd give them a 3 due to the lack of variey, even if the stuff isn't bad per se.

>>6074239
I say 4 stars. The food itself is a 3 in a vacuum honestly, but they probably have problems or are even totally incapable of digesting meat so we can't knock off too many stars for lack of variety. After all, we were easier on Loqu for the similar reasons.

However, the fact that they are somehow LITERALLY THE FIRST PLANET to give you a proper welcome so far, and the fact that they work with the galactic patrol indicates that their civilization is a good one. No black market bullshit, no energy steroids, not part of an obvious cycle of new tyrants rising up, no mind-boggling disrespect, and perhaps most importantly, no dead children. As such, an first come, first serve point bonus is applied.

>>6074239
>4 stars
>Recommend they diversify their diet-- even if it stays vegetarian, surely they can incorporate other kinds of vegetables

>>6074239
>4.5 stars
There is NOTHING WRONG with a God of Destruction playing favorites. The other races should simply be cuter.

>>6074239
>3 stars for the food 4 for being the first planet to actually bother taking this seriously.

>>6074253
I do agree with this anon though they feel manipulative as hell I mean you expect me to believe a race that has one of their own as a God of Destruction trainee is saintly? Get outta ereee. These guys probably committed mass genocide against wolf people or something like that. (Plus they did literally just bribe us which arguably isn't exactly a noble thing even if hidden under a cute demeanor)

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>>6074591
>you expect me to believe a race that has one of their own as a God of Destruction trainee is saintly?
Hey now, Saria may look a bit scary but she does appear alongside Heles in the official art and we all know what the Universe 2 love wackadoos are like so she's probably not a bad person herself! Though since other universes have Bunyim who's to say if those ones aren't going all 'Night of the Lepus' right...?

>>6074720
>who's to say if those ones aren't going all 'Night of the Lepus' right...?
new trashy film discovered, also
>image for ants

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"Well, Miss Queen, I have an opinion." Beerus said, patting his mouth with a napkin cloth. Queen Acerola's nose wriggled as she waited to hear what the God of Destruction had to say.

"The number of things you've thought to do with carrots alone is a feat by its own merit, no doubt impressive, but the homogeneity of the meal leaves much to be desired, and as the celery sticks proved, there's room for improvement and additions. Not that I didn't enjoy the meal, ho no no no no, it was excellent, that you can be sure of, it's just that you need have to your culinary artists leave their comfort zones is all! Four stars on my scale, easily!"

"That makes me happy to hear!"

"But I suppose my clout as a god might suffer if I don't set an example for other races to follow, even with the races I happen to like my interactions with..." Beerus said, eyeing the smirking Whis from the corner of his eye as he scratched his chin.

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"Just the moon then." Beerus said, raising his fingers to the sky.

A lurid wave of sound washed over the planet, as the yellow moon of Bounts began to disappear.

"All that cheese, gone just like that..." Queen Acerola said, more amazed than she was frightened, unlike the chef that had collapsed out of shock behind her.

"No worries, no worries. You only have to suffer some darker nights and no tides as a result of this. The planet should be fine otherwise since there are no others or asteroids in this system. We will be departing now. But..."

Beerus came over to the seated Queen and reached down. Gently, he reached down and took her hand into his, lifting it just until he could see her ring. And for every tease she tried on him, he repaid back by putting the moves on her!

"Mhwa." He kissed her ring.

"Haaaa..."

"Thank you again for this fine evening, your majesty."

"F-...Fwuaaa..."

"Ta."

Whis and Beerus blasted off into the warp again. The Bunyim Queen watching them vanish into thin air. She blushed to herself and held her cheeks.

"F-Flatterer..."

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"..." Beerus wiped his forehead off with the back of his hand.

"My, my. Summoning the courage up to charm that Queen was as difficult as defeating Monaka was for you."

"Bh-... Be quiet, Whis! I'll destroy you next!"

"Oh ho ho ho! My Lord Beerus is getting so much bolder these days! Soon, Beerus the Destroyer will graduate to Beerus the Bachelor."

"SILENCE! Just fly me to the next planet already!"

Subtly, Shin and Old Kai giggled to each other as they stared into the orb set upon their table on their planet.

~~~

>>> SELECT A PLANET TO VISIT
>Planet Algone
>Planet Ooanmit
>Planet Blubbier
>Planet Cinndorell

>>6074826
>Planet Blubbier

>>6074826
>Planet Blubbier
Hmm, no points for that rating. We'll have to step it up.